sincerely but never yours
by Alive In Wonderland
Summary: SasuSaku - If you give fourteen people sixteen weeks to learn as much about each other as possible, what would you get? Drama. Hate. Love. One night stands. Tears. Joy. And awkwardness. ... Blame Anko. And Naruto. And Itachi. Actually... blame everyone.
1. how to legally experiment on adolescents

And so, here we are. The epic collab.  
Che-yeah. Seriously.  
**Disclaimer**: Not ours.  
**Dedication**: To music, soda-pop, and friendship. Oh, yeah, and CAPS LOCK ABUSE.  
**VERY IMPORTANT NOTE**: Shisui is a chick. Yes, we twisted his/her gender. BUT THERE IS A REASON. JUST YOU WAIT.

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* * *

To: iUchiha  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Because this concerns you_

You know what totally grinds my gears?

I'll tell you what grinds my gears, good sir: totally asexual-too-good-for-you-because-i-am-an-uchiha-bow-down-to-me-now males. Especially those that tend to have a stick up their ass.

If you haven't caught on, Itachi, I'm talking about that loser brother of yours. I'M TIRED OF HIM! LIKE, SERIOUSLY!

He's either always off in emo-land being a little prick and angsting about the world and plotting how to slit his wrists without being stopped this time and it totally brings my hype down, you know? I mean, god, what have you people done to the guy?! Elementary, Middle, High school and now COLLEGE?! He's scarred – and he's scarring me. And he's totally breaking my balls, man.

We have to, like, make a confederation and make him all…..not emo, you know?

Like, just yesterday we were in Psychology, right, listening to Ibiki-sensei go on and on about the human mind and whatever – and he was staring off out the window. And by 'he' I mean your brother – the retarded one. The one that's emo. That one. Anyway, yeah he was staring out the window, brooding and sulking and being all Sasuke-ish, only not really because he was being angsty triple the max.

AND THERE WAS NOTHING TO BE ANGSTY ABOUT, YOU KNOW.

So thus, this is my example as to why we should make a confederation for those whose balls are breaking due to Sasuke-teme's anti-social, no-girl-banging, emo, angsting, slit-cutting, suicidal, passive aggressive habits.

We shall call it, Anti Sasuke-teme's Anti-Social, No-Girl-Banging, Emo, Angsting, Slit-Cutting, Suicidal, Passive Aggressive Confederation.

In which we well group up to make him… like, stop being what he is and therefore being what he's not which is social.

Yeah.

-Naruto.

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _Because you are a busybody_

1. Grinds your gears. What are you, an engine?

2. Uchihas can get any girl they want.

3. I only have one brother. Who else could you have been referring to?

4. In a previous life, Sasuke was probably the only survivor of a massive genocide of his family where a relative of his was the perpetrator. The blood letting would represent his despair.

5. A glass is sitting in front of you. Half empty or half full?

Sasuke sees it as half empty.

6. Are you gay for my brother, Master Uzumaki?

7. Uchihas are experts at Passive Aggressiva. It's a skill you seem to lack.

Itachi

P.S. We shall… "confederate".

* * *

To: iUchiha  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Because you are gay_

…..ADFGHJKL;

NO I AM NOT A FRICKEN ENGINE! I AM A MAN! A BIG, STRONG, SEXY MAN! I SHAVE! AND I HAVE THE POWER – THE **POWER**, I TELL YOU. SO NO, ITACHI VONSTRANGLE, I AM NOT AN ENGINE. YOU, THOUGH, ARE AN OBTUSE SO STICK THAT UP YOUR ASS ALONG WITH THE POLE! I AM NOT GAY FOR ANYONE, MAN. WE ESTABLISHED THIS – I AM A MAN! YOU'RE GAY! YOU'RE GAYGAYGAY! ME… GAY, TCH. BLASPHEMY I TELL YOU.

And what's up with the fricken numbering, man? This is a damn email, yo – no numbering, your highness. Sheesh. U kan eben slanggg lyke diz, 2, u kno.

ALSOALSO. Uchihas can't get jack shit – you wanna know why? COZ THEY'RE ALL GAY. GAY, I TELL YOU. BUT IT'S OKAY. IF YOU WERE GAYYYYYYY, THAT'D BE OKAYYYYYY!

I don't understand you and your glass of water; Sasuke-teme probably just didn't finish drinking it because he wasn't thirsty. What does this have to do with Sasuke-teme's faggish ways?

-Naruto.

P.S. HELL-FRICKEN-YEAH. THE WORLD SHALL BE SAVED.

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _Because you are obsessed with Yaoi_

1. I applaud your English teacher.

2. You seem to be obsessed with men. You use the word five times.

3. Ditto with "gay". I am not going to bother wasting my time counting the number of times.

4. This is why I'm an Uchiha and you are not. My numbered emails make sense. Yours is gobbledegook.

5. I am going to pass over the fact that I just used that word.

6. … You really are a dobe.

7. I shall forget that I agreed with my foolish little brother.

Itachi

P.S. I assume you have a plan.

* * *

To: iUchiha  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Because you seem to not have a brain_

Listen here you stupid little fartknocker. I am not gay, nor am I obsessed with men! You know why? Because I _am _a man! Therefore, I like females! And am I s'possed to be impressed that you can count?! Because, like, I'm not. Seriously… okay I am – I thought little prissy bitches were stupid.

AND WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO BE AN UCHIHA?! HUH?! THEY ALL SUCK! MAJOR ONES! Andandand….you talked gibberish! HAHAHA. The great Uchiha Itachi talked gibberish!

Oh jeez, the world's coming to a complete end! IT'S THE APOPELYPSE! OH MY GOD. SOMEONE SAVE THE RAMEN!

-Naruto.

P.S. When don't I? Like, seriously, you wound me.

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _Because you are named after a ramen ingredient_

1. That will be news to me. Have you ever had a girlfriend? And who would sleep with you? Correction: How much would you have to pay them?

2. I will not lower myself to speak in such a dirty manner.

3. You, Uzumaki, are merely talking in a jealous fit of rage. Go drink some Arizona tea and meditate.

4. Let the ramen go. I will never talk in such low terms ever again.

Itachi

P.S. Then tell me your plan. Or are you all talk?

P.P.S. Correction: you may always have a plan, but does this not involve ramen? Or something blowing up?

* * *

To: iUchiha  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Because you are delusional. And blind._

You know what, you fricken weasel? I am not even gonna answer you! I'll spontaneously combust by the time you SHUT THE FUCK UP! So I, being the adult and mature guy I am, am going to stop this violence because you know what? Violence is not the answer IT'S THE QUESTION. AND THE SOLUTION AT TIMES, BUT STILL.

….Okay, I can't take it – I HAVE SO HAD COUNTLESS OF GIRLFRIENDS! AND…..what's that s'posed to mean?! I don't pay anyone anything!

Also, I am not jealous of anything – do _you _have a million boxes of ramen? I didn't think so. Therefore, I am not jealous. AND LEAVE MY ARIZONA OUT OF THIS, SHE'S SACRED. SHEESH.

You, good sir, have just committed a crime. I might just have to report you to the ramen police. Tch.

-Naruto.

P.S. MAYBE IT'S TOO GOOD TO BE TOLD THROUGH AN EMAIL, HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF THAT?!

P.P.S. Heyhey, leave ramen out of this! AND IT WAS ONLY ONE TIME. I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GONNA EXPLODE, OKAY?! Meet me at Ichiraku's, okay? We'll talk then!

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _Because you would be made of ramen_

1. You don't have balance.

2. … Really? Countless means little when it comes to you. You probably can only count to twenty and lose track.

3. If it was twenty (which it wouldn't be), would that make you a whore?

4. The Arizona you and my foolish little brother took out of _my_ refrigerator whenever you are broke.

5. … The ramen police? Really…

Itachi

P.S. Sasuke is many things, but a hacker he is not.

P.P.S. Really… I believe you just can't spell the words necessary to tell me your plan.

P.P.P.S. We will meet in ten minutes at Ichiraku Ramen on Main Street. If you are late, I'm taking back all of my Arizona and I am going to bribe every ramen seller in Konoha to never make ramen for you.

P.P.P.P.S. Ever. Ever. Again.

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; crazyproctorchick  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _Because Uchihas just can't be gay_

Anko-

1. I know that you said you'd find a punishment worse than castration if I ever contacted you after we broke up (and I know that, if anyone could find something worse than that, you could), but this is pretty serious.

2. Naruto thinks Sasuke's gay and needs to refine his social skills before he ends up one of those old people with one million and one cats.

3. We would like to set up a communication link between Sasuke and a girl using your position as the student teacher of his Psychology class. If just having him is weird, rope your whole class into communicating with a series of people whose identities are unknown. Using the contents of their communication, they could try to figure out information about their subjects.

Itachi

* * *

To: iUchiha; ramenkamisama1  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _I'm going to kill you._

Itachi,

You're still numbering your e-mails. I thought I told you to stop that. It's ridiculous, and makes you look like a fool. But, given that I love your mother (how is she, anyways?), and since I don't want her to die from a broken heart caused by having two gay sons, I'm actually willing to help.

Naruto thinks your brother is gay. Naruto. The King of Ramen. Are you serious?

…

Well, maybe Naruto does have a point; it's true that all that Sasuke does is sit and moan to himself. His grades aren't falling, but he does tend to sit in corners, and… I dunno, stare out the window. It's a little odd.

You want to set him up? Isn't that a little cruel? But oh, I'm so in! Hm, there are a couple of girls I'm sure would make him entirely lose it… But it would be awkward. I'll talk to Ibiki, and see what I can do.

I'm still prettier then you,

Anko

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; crazyproctorchick  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _As if you would dirty your hands_

Anko-

1. This is why you could never be a diplomat. You are certainly bad at diplomacy AND you are unorganized.

2. Mother is well. She's enjoying retirement in Tahiti. Father's face says little, but one of my sources tells me that he thinks it unbearably hot. It cannot possibly be any hotter than the uniform he wore for forty years.

3. I am not gay. Sasuke's a toss up.

4. Ask Naruto. I don't support incestuous thoughts, let alone the authentic action.

5. Are there tomatoes outside the window?

6. Please don't make him "lose it". The force of eighteen years of suppressed hormones should not be forced upon anyone.

7. Do talk to Ibiki. Tell him I still remember what happened the Fifth of October.

At least I don't have split ends,

Itachi

* * *

To: iUchiha; ramenkamisama1  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Give me some credit, I'm not afraid of a little dirt._

Itachi,

I'm a psychology teacher. If that's not a diplomat, what _is_? For god's sake, _please_ stop numbering your e-mails, for my sanity's sake! _That_ is one of the reasons I dumped you! Oh, when you next talk to her, tell her I say 'hello', yes? Your father still scares me, quite honestly.

I raise my eyebrow at your statement. As far as I remember, you were _definitely_ gay (you paint your nails _purple_; need I say more?). And incest doesn't suit you, anyways.

Why the _hell_ would there be tomatoes outside the window of a _university_?!

Oh, I did talk to Ibiki. He's cruel enough to let me do what I want. So, what I've decided is this; they'll do a penpal program. I get to pair them up. I won't be _that_ brutal, but I'll certainly set Sasuke up. What was the Fifth of October? Tell me-e-e-e. I must _know_!

Wow, the fact that you are petty enough to talk about hair just _proves_ your sexuality.

I'm still prettier then you,

Anko

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; crazyproctorchick  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _I don't give credit. People give me credit_.

Anko-

1. You are a student teacher. Not a psychology teacher.

2. You've never been sane, so I don't have to worry about your nonexistent sanity.

3. She says hello as well as wondering how your… "love life" has been. I prognosticated your response and told her that it's in the same state as your sanity.

4. Purple nail polish distracts people so I can take them into custody before they start running. I believe I told you that the uniform is hot…?

5. The one thing Sasuke loves more than… Let me rephrase. The one thing Sasuke comes close to loving is a tomato. My foolish little brother would tell you that tomatoes enhance intelligence.

6. Is it possible that Sasuke is under the influence of hallucinogenic substances…?

7. Thank you.

8. How should I say this… The Fifth of October involves a horse, three bottles of gin, a guitar, an open window, and that movie _Say Anything_.

I'm sorry that you are in denial.

And I am confident enough in my masculinity to discuss hair.

I hope you are enjoying your trip down a river in Egypt,

Itachi

* * *

To: iUchiha; crazyproctorchick  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _BLASPHEMY. TOTAL BLASPHEMY._

Hi, I think you two should either get a room and get this pent up sexual tension over with, OR you can suck it up and **stop being douches**. I seriously don't need to read all of the junk you two say to each other – gosh, you're both worse than high schoolers, like, seriously! Don't send me any more of your emails in which you two are flirting via verbal abuse, UNLESS, it has porn.

Okay? Okay.

I appreciate what you two are doing to help the cause; you two are very generous in helping out the Anti Sasuke-teme's Anti-Social, No-Girl-Banging, Emo, Angsting, Slit-Cutting, Suicidal, Passive Aggressive Confederation. Your contribution is taken to heart.

And… You guys should totally think about the porn, man. EPIC.

Right. Anko-sensei, don't hurt me.

-Naruto.

* * *

To: iUchiha; ramenkamisama1  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Credit? You? _Please_._

Itachi,

I'm a student teacher for a psychology class. Have you _met_ Ibiki? He lets me teach the class myself! Anyways.

Wow, you're actually agreeing that I have a vigorous and extremely healthy sanity? I really appreciate that (especially in reference to my sex life. So I didn't sleep with you; you probably couldn't get it up anyways)! And _purple nail polish_, Itachi! _Purple_! It's no wonder your mother likes me better then you; she thinks you're gay! Scratch that, she _knows_ you're gay!

Okay, now I _really_ have to know what happened on the fifth... Should I ask Sasu-cakes? (And yes, I really think it's quite possible he's high a lot of the time. Seriously, some of the looks he gives the rest of the class are just so... uhm, how do I say this politely... _absent_? Read: his eyes are glazed over, he's pale like-a-sparkly-vampire-from-a-horribly-written-teen-novel, and, in general, he looks like he's on a bad trip.)

Naruto, I expect a five-page essay on the history of the light bulb, and it's psychological effects on humanity, on my desk Monday morning. (And just for the record, if you ever mention me sleeping with _any_ Uchiha _ever again_, I _will_ cut your tongue out; lawsuit or not, yes?)

I'm _still_ prettier then you both, and all your fangirl-created impossible-man-pregnancy babies.

Anko

* * *

To: iUchiha; crazyproctorchick  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _UHM. UHM. UHM._

EXCUSE ME CRAZY LADY!

LIKE, HI, YEAH. THERE IS NO HISTORY ON THE LIGHTBULB!

It was just invented because it was needed and candles with fire caused too much fires and such.

The end.

Kaythanksbye.

-Naruto.

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; iUchiha  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Suck it up._

Just for that, make it ten pages. Double-sided.

Anko

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick; iUchiha  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _EXCUSE ME, I DON'T SUCK._

WHA?!

WHY?!

YOU'RE ABUSING YOUR POWER. ABUSING I TELL YOU!

-Naruto.

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; iUchiha  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _No, you blow._

It's not abuse.  
It's just... stretching.

Smile, I'm still pretty!

Anko

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick; iUchiha  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _No, I lick, kthxsbai_

Dear Anko-sensei,

Ever since the day I met you, I always thought you were a crazy woman that was not right in the head. Even Sasuke-teme thought so! And that's saying a lot because Sasuke-teme doesn't think anything about anyone unless it's 'annoying'. Anyway, I digress. So yeah, you're weird and mean and crazy andandand...

PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME WRITE THAT TEN PAGE ESSAY! PLEASE!

-Naruto.

P.S. Have I told you lately, that I love you?

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; crazyproctorchick  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _Please vacate the area and take your age-inappropriate romance with you._

o1. Let's get back to the plan.

I believe you start, Anko...?

Itachi

P.S. No one wants to know about your "sex lives". Least of all me.

* * *

To: iUchiha; ramenkamisama1  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject:_ You're just angry that you can't get it up._

Naruto, if it's not on my desk Monday, I'm dropping your grade a letter. No, I am not kidding. Itachi, I'm attaching the assignment right now;

_Dear cretins,_

_It's that time of year again, and we have a very special assignment for you all._ _As you all know, this class is based on human interaction, and it's effects on the human brain._

_So, in an effort to get you all to _use_ those "brains" of yours, and make some connections, Ibiki-sensei and Anko-sama have decided that your long-term project this year will be a pen-pal project with the local high-school. This project _will_ determine your final grade, and whether or not you will be exempt from the exam.__ Your partner will be of the opposite gender, so that students may gain a working knowledge of the differences of the male-to-female thinking processes.__ We expect you to keep up this **daily** correspondence for the duration of this course (yes, that means **three months** of **daily e-mails**), and we expect a ten-thousand word essay on **The Human Condition As Seen From A Sex-Indiscriminate Position** at the end of term._

_Or, the student may hand in to us a print-out of all of their correspondence with their partner, and will equally receive full marks.  
(This means, rats, that if you do your work in class, you'll never have anything to worry about.)_

_The rules of this assignment (and **believe me, maggots**, if you break these nice, easy-to-follow rules,_ _**we will know about it**):  
**A) **Each partner will have a codename. We don't care what you use, as long as you do. Part of this correspondence will deal with your daily activities, so it's likely that you will be speaking about the people you spend most of your time with - your friends. In this correspondence, we expect that you address these friends by their codenames when in contact with your partner.  
**B)** It is perfectly acceptable for partners to meet prior to the end date of this assignment; therefore, it is perfectly acceptable that partners exchange information (that is the whole point of this assignment).  
__HOWEVER.  
**Should** both partners agree to meet (as is transcribed above), we expect that you do not disclose the codenames of the people you know. This is simply common courtesy, as it is not your right to go around telling tales.  
**C)** This is your quarter project, children. GO._

_Anko-sama, **out**._

_---_

There, is that good enough, oh dear, gay ex-boyfriend of mine?  
Anko

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; crazyproctorchick  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _My heart aches with pain. / When I see you, I vomit. / Die away from me._

1. It is passable.

2. My girlfriend says hi.

-Itachi

* * *

To: maskedIchaIcha007  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Your email is so inappropriate, I'm amazed you still have a job._

Hi.  
I have an eensy-weensy teensy-tiny favour to ask of you...

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: maskedIchaIcha007  
Subject: _You know you love it._

As for the job part, that's what's nice about having tenure.

I'm sure it's tiny.

Is it tinier than you?

-Kakashi-sensei

P.S. What does this "eensy-weensy teensy-tiny favour" entail?

* * *

To: maskedIchaIcha007  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Are you retarded?_

I am going to ignore the jab about my height, because I actually kind of like you, and I want you to live long enough to let me have my way.  
(You may interpret this in any manner you so choose).

And about that favour...  
(Uhm, yes-I-need-your-help-it's-not-funny-shut-up.)  
Can I borrow your AP-Pre-college-level-Psych-thing class? Pretty please?

I'll love you forever!

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: maskedIchaIcha007  
Subject: _Not any more than you, dear._

Jiraiya's latest book came out.  
If you were interested in practicing your... reading skills. ^_^  
(You are a midget with a temper.  
Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it.)

Awww, Anko-chan needs help! :D

You know it's illegal to test things on minor's.  
Then again...  
That has never stopped you before.

Do you even believe in love?

* * *

To: maskedIchaIcha007  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _I'm just crazy - crazy is better then retarded. Are you related to Naruto? God, I hope not..._

I only read _literature_, sorry Kakashi.  
But I do like chocolate body paint. Just so you know.

SHUT UP. THIS IS NOT FUNNY. And don't call me 'Anko-chan', it's degrading.

I'm teaching a Psychology class, there has to be _some_ mental testing! And anyways, it's just a pen-pal project.  
Well, it's just a pen-pal project to determine how well my students are doing. Seriously.

...Are you seriously asking me that? _Me_?!  
Do you _remember_ how I was?!

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: maskedIchaIcha007  
Subject: _Thank god I can say no without lying._

It is very well-written _literature_. It is filled with passion.  
Chocolate body paint... that explains a lot.

Okay, Anko-chan.

...  
They gave _you_ a teaching degree.  
Did you get them drunk or something?

Okay.  
What is _really_ up? And I won't believe you if you say, "Just for fun."  
You weren't like that in college.  
And no one changes _that_ much.

Exactly.  
I wish I didn't remember.  
Pooooooooor Idate.  
By the way, what happened to that weasel kid?

* * *

To: maskedIchaIcha007  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Okay, good. Because, really, if you were lying... I'd have to say it explains a lot._

What on _earth_ are you talking about? It's SMUT! And you read it in front of your _class_!  
And my chocolate body paint tastes as good as it feels. And it isn't... orange. And vulgar.

I'm going to kick you.

Shut up. They gave _you_ a teaching license, too, and don't you _dare_ tell me you're any better then I am!  
I'm just prettier.  
And please, I have more class than getting them drunk. I'd rather drug them - it lasts longer.

I hate the fact that you know me so well.  
So _maybe_ I'm doing it to help my gay ex-boyfriend ascertain that his younger brother is really as gay as I've always said. (I pity him, his mother is going to _kill_ him when she finds out that both her boys bat for the other team.) And if you don't shut up about me dating the previously-mentioned gay ex-boyfriend, I _will_ kill you, yes?

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: maskedIchaIcha007  
Subject: _I never lie. Just the occasional white fib._

They are high schoolers.  
And it's not like the boys don't look at it on their own computers.  
So at least it has a pretty cover.  
Take that how you wish.

Too bad I beat you at cross country in college.

Welllll, I'm much better looking than you. And less likely to damage my students's mental health.  
That's why I'm going to be a teacher longer than you because I'm not going to DRUG them.  
So stick that in your chloroform and suck on it.

You like it.  
And you have to admit that I must be good enough for you.  
I mean, remember that One Night?  
And I don't think he's gay. I mean, I caught WeaselBoy with his tongue down the throat of some blonde chick last night...  
But the little brother...  
Yeah, definitely gay.  
No need to try and prove it.

Except this kind of sounds like fun and torturous.

* * *

To: maskedIchaIcha007  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _You are _such_ a liar. _Such_ a liar._

But they don't watch it in _public_! You're a _horrible_ role model, Kakashi! (_Why_ did they let you have a teaching license?!)  
And it's not pretty.  
NOT. AT. ALL.

But I still got first place, because I bribed the judge.  
With cleavage.  
_Re-mem-ber?_

_You_? Better looking then _me_?  
Tell that to my C-cups, inferior human specimen.  
I am _so_ prettier then you.  
(AND SHUT UP ABOUT THE CHLOROFORM, THAT WAS ONCE.)

That was one night, and it was Not So Great. (BIGGG smile.)  
...Are you _blind_? He was probably making out with his room-mate.  
How can you be so sure that Sasuke's gay? I mean, have you even _met_ the kid? (Although, this _was_ my first impression of him...)

It would be a quick and painful death.  
That would have nothing to do with my chocolate body paint.  
Seriously.

SO.

Can I borrow your class? PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE?!

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: maskedIchaIcha007  
Subject: _Repetition doesn't do a thing for you, dear._

How many of your students spend their free time watching porn on the university computers, do you suppose? That ramen kid especially... The ramen probably warped his brain.  
It's prettier than a certain purple-haired woman I would know.  
Hey, are you free sometime...? ;)

So you didn't actually run faster than me.  
Ha.

If I had C-Cups, I think everything about this would be different.  
i.e. I would have legibly won that race as well as gotten the prize.  
(Once.  
Suuuuuuuuure.)

That's not what you were saying that night... ;)

His roommate is freakishly tall with blue skin. Totally not the same person.  
& she had certain... attributes that are definitely NOT in males.  
If you see where I'm going...

It depends on who's going to die.  
I'm too fast for you, ye-who-bribes.

Okay, I will.  
But you have to go on a date with me, be yourself, not attempt to get me killed/kill me yourself, and act nice.  
Wait.  
You're not normally nice.

* * *

To: maskedIchaIcha007  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _It doesn't make it any less true. You _are_ a liar._

I try not to think about how many of them are mini versions of you.  
Don't talk about Naruto, okay? We both know he's missing a few marbles. Or maybe all of them.

I still wo-on!  
(But then the judge-guy stalked me and my glorious boobs for... like, a week.  
And did I say to shut up about the chloroform?)

If I remember correctly, I wasn't the only one screaming. ;)

Are you sure? Because I distinctly remember his room-mate being androgynous, blond, tall, and very, very gay.  
Ugh, he's so annoying. He should just tell his mother that's he's into men and get it over with.  
ANYWAYS.

Hm, who dies depends on what kind of death it is.  
And hey, the bribery so works!  
(My chocolate body paint is sitting right next to me. It looks _delicious_...  
You have no idea what kind of self control it takes to just not _eat it right now_!)

A date for three month's worth of torturing my students, and yours?

I am so in.

But if you're late, I'll never forgive you. :D

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: maskedIchaIcha007  
Subject: _You're cruel. I like to think of it as "Creative Processing"._

He displaced his marbles in favor of ramen. That is my theory.  
And thank whatever kami exists that none of _your_ students took after you. Else there would be many megalomaniacs roaming around.

Well, I'm up to racing you anytime.  
Weasel Boy can be the judge.

Your memory is dysfunctional.  
But if, hypothetically, both of us were screaming, you were screaming louder.  
But then again, I could always prove you wrong. ;)

Noooo, Blonde Guy is the one who lives down the hall from him, but almost lives in Shark-Guy and Weasel Boy's room.  
But I'm completely serious when I say he's not gay.  
And you know I can't resist poking fun at him.

Bring it on our date.  
Next Tuesday. The Micky-D's on Third.

Just kidding.  
Luffy's Family Restaurant on Fifth.  
Leave your potty mouth at home.

Don't worry. I got black-cat repellent...

* * *

To: maskedIchaIcha007  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _I'm pretty. I can _be_ cruel._

Look, we don't need another Orochimaru, okay? He was the _creepiest_ teacher I've _ever_ had.  
And he was always _staring_... At _everyone_... AGH.  
And Naruto's just... special. In many, many ways. But, god, he's such a five-year-old...

Weasel Boy would let me win just because I have a running death threat count against him; so far, it's at five hundred seventy-seven, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't want it any higher then that.

Sorry Kakashi, I think you definitely screamed louder.  
Hypothetically.

What time?  
And you're _so_ lucky I decided to keep reading after you mentioned ... _that place_.  
You _know_ how much I hate MacDonalds!

_What_ potty mouth? (innocent look)  
And I kind of _like_ black cats, you know...

See you then, I guess. ;)  
(And if you're lucky, I _will_ bring the chocolate body paint. But _only_ if you're lucky...)

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: maskedIchaIcha007  
Subject: _You're cruel. You're passable in the looks department._

Wait.  
Didn't he teach at Oto Tech?  
He was creepy. I'll actually agree with you on that.  
I was thinking Naruto's more like a fetus. He's that out of it.

Weasel Boy would prefer that I win. And he's gotten a lot better at martial arts than he was the last time you decided to attack him.

I'm going to schedule you for an appointment with an otologist.  
Hypothetically, you weren't able to speak for the rest of the week after that One Night.

Six.  
That's because Kabuto worked there during lunch time, remember? He had quite the... relationship with Snake Face.

Fine then. You can follow me around (as in, you have my permission to "stalk" me now) and catch the black cats I run into.

I was born lucky.

* * *

To: maskedIchaIcha007  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Rude. Very rude. If I wasn't totally gorgeous, would you be asking me out? No._

Yeah, he did.  
And he was seriously the scariest teacher I've ever had.  
Let's talk about something different, okay? Naruto's brain processes... are non-existent. A fetus is a very good analogy.

He would totally prefer I win; I know where he sleeps. I also have sevenral months worth of black-mail on him.

Hypothetically, neither could you. ;)  
If I remember correctly, the teachers were wondering why you sounded like death.

Six? Okay.  
Don't talk to me about Kabuto. I want to crush his face.

Sure you were born lucky. Sure.  
But anyways... I _can_ use you class, correct?  
I won't torture them too much. Really.

-Love, Anko

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: maskedIchaIcha007  
Subject: _I'm feeling generous._

Dear god. I would have dropped it, but I needed it to graduate. Stupid Biology was full so I had to take BIOCHEM.  
He doesn't have a brain. At least one recognizable to science. Maybe the Ichiraku man could identify it...

He also has a roommate who sleeps with a giant sword underneath his pillow.

I had a freaking cold.

Didn't you already do that...?  
Change of plans. Same time, same place, but the day of the beginning of the penpal project.  
As the celebration to the beginning of some real psychological research.

I was. That's why I survived Biochem without having to talk to His Hissiness.

-Kakashi

P.S. Awww, you love me! ^_^

* * *

To: maskedIchaIcha007  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _I think you need your head examined._

All I'm going to say is this:  
You never had a cold, Weasel Boy's roommate is my bff, and you _better not be late_.

Oh, and I'm still the prettiest.  
And thank you ever-so-much for letting me experiment on your class.

Love, Anko

P.S. And so it begins...

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:  
**sonya**: Can you believe this was supposed to be a prologue? REVIEW. HI.  
**les**: so. this is what it feels like to rule the world? I DIG THAT.  
**Saraa**: ...BAHAHA.


	2. how to be R rated in a family restaurant

Thanks for the reviews, all you lovely people! -big smiles all around-  
**Disclaimer**: Not ours. & we don't own Luffy from _One Piece_. We just own the Luffy's Restaurant. :)  
**Dedication**: To Lady Gaga, hawt boots, and pretty hats.

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* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No Subject_

This is rather annoying and pointless.

I have no desire to speak to you, but I am trying to pass my Psychology class, so I must. I'll be blunt, because I hate talking – or typing, or whatever. Hn.

It says on this stupid assignment paper that I must introduce myself. How annoying.

My name is none of your business, my age isn't all that important (I'm in college, I assume you know how to put two and two together). I don't like many things and I dislike plenty. My hobbies – I don't have hobbies. My goals are, yet again, none of your business. My family consists of a mother, a father and an idiotic older brother – why do you need to know… Stupid piece of paper. I don't like sweets, I prefer tomatoes and the rest is unnecessary to talk about.

Resentfully,

Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _Well, aren't you just SO excited to meet me._

Hi Sunshine.

Okay, so here's the deal:

You obviously don't like me.

That's okay.

You're a guy and I have a boyfriend.

So stop acting like there is something stuck up your ass.

Unless there is actually something there…

Anyway.

You can call me anything you want.

Except Whore.

Or Bitch.

Or Sweetlips.

Actually, scratch that out.

Just call me Superstar.

I like Paramore, cherries, my boyfriend, my coworkers who are also my besties, Farmville, sweets…

I dislike rap. It shouldn't be called music because there is rarely a melody in it. I dislike people who dislike my best friends and I dislike people like you, who seem to have some shield between you and the world because you're afraid of being hurt.

I don't have hobbies- it's called senior year and a shit-load of AP classes for med school.

My goals- med school; graduating high school; having fun with my besties.

My family is just me & my aunt, Tsunade.

Cordially,

Superstar

P.S. Tomatoes… Why tomatoes? Tomatoes are gross.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Your stupid sarcasm isn't needed._

Great. I landed with a girl (you are a girl, right?) who must be on a permanent sugar high. And in high school. Please refrain from boring me with your high school drama - I am a penpal of sorts (and by force), not a therapist.

Also, I rather you not call me Sunshine. It's annoying. Like you.

And no, there is nothing up my fucking ass – you're absolutely annoying. You're like the Dobe. Fuck, this is going to be the most annoying nine weeks of my life. From your stupid descriptions, you seem like an annoying, bright, bubbly girl. And would you look at that, something we can agree on – rap is a pathetic excuse of music.

I don't really care if you dislike me or people like me or whatever. I don't frankly think I fall into any category of the petty little names people seem to call themselves nowadays. I am simply me. And seriously? "Seem to have some shield between you and the world because you're afraid of being hurt"? I don't think so. If that was you trying to be some sort of observant person or whatever, please try a bit better.

But hey, at least you're smart. Medical school is a bitch to get into and a bitch to get out. Good luck to you.

-Thunder.

P.S. Your face is gross. Tch, annoying.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _I guess I'm not the only one who thinks your personality matches your face._

Hi Sunshine.

You're probably ugly.

This is only a guess, but I think that your teacher gave everyone in your class someone of the opposite sex. Like, it would be too easy for you to understand someone of the same gender. Ask them. Unless you're too chicken to do so.

Actually, my high school life isn't dramatic. Was yours? Are you afraid of people?

I think I'll continue calling you Sunshine. Too bad for you. If it really hurts your eyes, you can always cover it with permanent marker.

Another hypothesis: you don't smile at all. You aren't verbal and are very pessimistic. Judging by your high and mighty attitude, you're probably a younger sibling who has an older brother who's possibly your father's favorite, making you jealous. You hide it behind this façade.

I would like to meet this dead-last character. We seem to agree on so much.

And I'm not stupid. Although I might be even less judgmental than you. The Pig says I'm horribly judgmental. Congratulations. And FYI? I'm not an "annoying, bright, bubbly girl". One day, you're going to be halfway dead because you choked on a tomato and I'll be the one who operates on you.

So stick that in your tomato juice and suck on it.

Then again, "annoying" almost sounds like a compliment coming from you. If you're friends with an annoying "dobe", obviously annoying is okay.

Rap is stupid. It's all about drugs, sex, and violence. What's your favorite band?

You are simply you? Yeah right. You seem to be a complete ass to me. Sorry for stereotyping, you jerk.

Thanks for your opinion. I wish I had asked for it.

-Superstar.

P.S. Read the first line of this email.

P.P.S. Who did you learn your manners from, the Grinch?

P.P.P.S. Give my regards to whoever made your email address.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Tch, how about you shut the hell up, kid._

Unfortunately, I can't do anything about your lack of understanding people's request, since I asked you to not call me Sunshine. But it's alright, there's this thing that is used when regarding people like you, it's called, Illiterate.

I don't frankly care if you think I'm ugly. The best part though, is that you'll never know.

I'm not a chicken, and you know what, the rest of that sentence doesn't even deserve a proper response.

My high school experience was normal, aside from the Dobe being a complete idiot and causing most of the disasters that landed us both suspended or in detention. I was top of my class, though. So no, it was not dramatic. And… No, I am not afraid of people, that's just absurd of you to ask.

Your hypothesis is stupid. Far off and, like mostly everything I've seen so far that comes from you, _unnecessary_. And I am _not _jealous of my brother. Nor will I ever be. So shut up, girl.

If you'd like to meet the Dobe, then I'd like to meet this Pig. This person seems rather intelligent. And regarding your stupid comment on you saving my life – I don't think so. See, choking on a tomato has not happened to anyone so far, and I am not going to be the first. So no. Tch, how annoying. But you know what, I'll continue to assume you are bright, bubbly and definitely annoying; just to annoy you.

Take it how you please – be it as a compliment, and offense or whatever. I don't really care. I see it as a fact, because it's what you are: annoying.

Rap _is _stupid. It might even be one of the many reasons why stupid kids seem to be into gangs and violence and doing drugs. Some fucking idols the world is springing now. I like 30 Seconds To Mars, Marianas Trench and Matchbox 20. Those are my top three.

It's funny how you seem to think I care about what I sound like to you, because, if you haven't noticed, I don't.

-Thunder.

P.S. You're annoying.

P.P.S. You're annoying.

P.P.P.S. And don't forget, you're annoying.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _I'm more mature than you, bucko._

Hi Sunshine.

I'm well-versed in literature, you little freak. You're probably some dwarf who I could fit in the Pig's fancy clutch that can barely hold one tube of lip gloss.

You're probably an _ugly_ little freak who has never had a girlfriend.

You're not interested _at all_ in how all of us got picked. Do you have any free will? Any curiosity?

What kinds of thing did "the Dobe" do to land you in detention? I'm top of my class too. I'm not _insipid_ and _stupid_.

High school sounded boring for you then. Other than landing in detention. Don't you regret wasting those four years then?

I bet you're afraid of people knowing who you really are. You sound the type. I mean, who calls their friend "dead-last"?

So you do have a brother! Asdfjhk- What's he like? Is he cute? (PIG. STOP HIJACKING MY COMPUTER. GO TYPE TO YOUR OWN STUPID PENPAL.)

Sorry about her, she's really… invasive. Like Koi fish. And Pig's stupid unless it comes to fashion. (HA. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR READING OVER MY SHOULDER.)

Anyway, you sound really in denial. Siblings always have weird relationships. I don't have any, but on my internships at the hospital, I've seen it in the pediatric unit.

You also sound like the type that likes to be first at something. So why not be the first to choke on a tomato? Maybe I'd need to give you CPR… ;) Assuming you don't have bad breath, have only three teeth, and aren't halfway to a million years old…

Just kidding! I wouldn't kiss you if it would stop the world from blowing up on 12/21/12.

Maybe we should have a discussion about this some time. It would be interesting, especially since we both like Marianas Trench. What's your favorite song of theirs?

No wonder you have a friend called "Dobe".

You don't seem to have a large selection pool for friends.

That's Superstar-ese for "get a new attitude".

-Superstar

P.S. Do you really just call people annoying for fun? _Honestly._

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Who calls people 'bucko' nowadays. How stupid._

I'm not even going to comment on your persistence.

Little freak? I'm probably taller than you. But I won't say any more, there's no point. It's immature and childish, kind of like you. And I am proved correct on your maturity level thanks to the sentence that follows: "You're probably an _ugly_ little freak who has never had a girlfriend." Really, how about you stop being annoying, you stop being stupid and you actually grow up?

I'm not a curious guy. If it's the way it goes, it's the way it goes. Period.

He caused food fights, engulfed the school in stink bombs, set the frogs that were going to be dissected free and the list goes on. You must feel very accomplished at being top student; you actually deserve a pat in the back. Pat yourself, you _winner_. That was sarcasm, in case you weren't smart enough to catch. And high school wasn't boring. It was normal. I don't regret anything. At all. There's nothing to regret, therefore there is no regretting. Four educational (though highly annoying thanks to the Dobe) years. That's it. Life goes on.

I call him that. And it's not because I am afraid or whatever other stupid thing you say. It's because I state facts, as I've said before. And that is what the Dobe is. He's the Dead Last. That's why I call him that.

Yes I have a brother. I mentioned it on the stupid introduction. Are you sure you're not illiterate? You sure seem like it. And I take it back, I rather _not _meet the Pig. She sounds even more annoying than you. And I'm not in denial about my relationship with my brother, how about you stop assuming shit about me? You don't know me, and you never will.

And you know what, the whole choking on a tomato concept is stupid. It ends here. (By the way, I feel better at the fact that your grimy lips won't be anywhere near me.)

Maybe we should have a discussion. Hn, maybe you're not that bad if you like Marianas Trench – you actually have good taste in music. I'd have to say my favorite Marianas Trench song is Perfect. To show that I do have manners, not that I care what you think, I'll be polite and ask what your favorite song is. That was me asking, by the way.

Your Superstar-ese is stupid. And I do have more friends other than the Dobe. I told you to stop assuming stupid things.

-Thunder.

P.S. I call people annoying because that's what they are.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _I do. It makes me unique, if not cool,_

Hi Sunshine.

I'm stubborn. What can I say?

Maybe you're taller than me, but you're a _boy_. Guys are supposed to be tall.

I bet "the Dobe" is better looking than you. He sounds nicer and like a better person too.

I'm mature. You're just a jerk, so I have to stoop myself to your level.

I suppose. You just seem so… cold. As if the world threw you into a mud puddle when you were born. Why do you insist on acting so "bad ass" and haughty? It's not an attractive trait in anyone.

I know people like that. They're the ones everyone _likes_ because they're not uptight.

I'm not saying that you're one of those people. I'm one of the rule-falling types, but I still know how to have fun. Do you know how to dance? Do you go clubbing? My favorite club is Akatsuki. It's a blast. :)

You push people away. Don't you get sick of it?

And what's "normal"? What made your high school experience "normal"? Did you date? Speaking of dating, are you _gay_? You seem to have something against the female population at large. Do you hate your _mother_?

It's not stupid. People choke on weird things every day. On one of the House M.D. episodes, someone swallowed a toothpick. How do you not even notice something like that?

I bet you've never been kissed and you suck at kissing anyways.

I suppose you're not so bad yourself. I like "Beside You".

Although you could stand to learn how to ask questions and to be interested in other people and _not_ just to be polite.

What are your friends like then?

-Superstar

P.S. Do you not know how to describe something in any other way than "annoying"?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Keep telling yourself that, you might actually succeed in life._

Yes, you are stubborn. It's annoying.

Good, you continue to amaze me with your epic smartness. You're so smart, I'm jealous; you know about the male and female anatomy/differences. Hooray for you.

Tch. If the Dobe was better looking than me, then I wouldn't know what hideous looks like. Maybe like you? Yeah, I think that's about right.

You're not mature and you do not _raise _yourself to my level, but rather you stoop to a level lower than the one you're on. It's quite sad, actually.

If I seem cold, maybe it's because I am. Who knows. But I don't really care. And I do not try to be bad ass and haughty, this is merely the person I am. I don't really care if it's unattractive, either. Here, I have an idea – how about you talk to me about something I actually care about?

I do know how to dance – rather useless knowledge. Clubbing is stupid and I only go when I am forced to go out by the Dobe and the other idiots. And also, Akatsuki is rather entertaining, I suppose.

I don't get sick of anything – well, unless it's the Dobe. Or you.

I'm not fucking gay, you idiot. Just because I haven't hit on you or spoken about girls in that sense does not make me gay. I have not had a girlfriend, because it's not important. And you know what, you idiotic, sorry excuse of a human being, I don't hate my mother. She's one of the most important people in my life so I suggest you back off from that topic. Stupid.

Kissing. Tch. You're an idiot. A complete and utter idiot.

My friends are all stupid goofballs.

-Thunder.

P.S. Fine. You're an idiot.

P.P.S. I'd appreciate it if you stop being an annoying idiot and stop asking me rude questions that are none of your concern.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _I should get paid to take this abuse._

Hey Sunshine.

What did someone do to you that put you in such a foul mood? Spray you in the eyes with Pinesol?

You're so bitter about life. I feel really, really bad for you.

Considering I'm the one in a relationship and you're not…

Are you never happy? It makes me pity you. Happiness does not mean immature, despite what you seem to think.

And believe it or not, but I'm normally more pleasant and "mature" than this. You just seem to bring out the worst in me. Thank you. Really. I totally like acting like a whiny bitch.

Akatsuki is the best club in Konoha, you know. Some really funny things go down there.

You know, I can't help but feel good that at least you put me up there with "the Dobe". I mean, considering how often you mention him, you must be really good friends. I call my best friend "Pig", but she's done a lot for me. When I was little, I was always bullied by these girls because I had a big forehead and she was one of the only ones to stand up for me.

Now those girls are the school sluts and I'm valedictorian (so far. Never count your chickens before they hatch.) and I actually grew into my forehead, so what now, bitches? :D

Anyway, I didn't mean that you not talking about girls makes you gay. It's just that the point of marriage is to join legally with someone who you care about and appreciate.

And you don't seem to appreciate anyone. Not meant disrespectfully but as a fact.

Sheesh, you take things really seriously. At least you _have_ a mother.

Really. If you don't like them so much, why are they your friends?

-Superstar

P.S. Isn't the point of this for you to learn more about people? You don't seem to be learning about much.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittebrother02  
Subject: _Tch, you're weird._

No one did anything to me. I'm not bitter, and I'm not all sunshine and roses either. I'm just there. Living my life. And I don't need your pity, save it for someone who cares. Or wants it.

Wow, you're in a relationship – congrats, really. You must feel accomplished and complete.

I'm neutral. I don't angst or any of those petty stereotypical things, nor am I a hippy or have a Jesus-complex like the Dobe. I'm neutral. Again, I don't need your pity nor do I want it. And I never said anything against happiness, that's just you assuming again.

If you're not normally a whiny bitch, you shouldn't act like it on my account. Really, I'm not all that special. Except these stupid fangirls seem to think otherwise. You'd think they'd fucking get a hint when I tell them I'm not interested. Fuck, they're so fucking annoying.

Wow. Your….wow. The Dobe considers himself my best friend – I let him think what he wants, as long as it makes him just a miniscule more tolerant. See, I'm friends with the Dobe because, as I just said before, he has a Jesus-complex; the idiot befriends anyone he talks to. It's hard to keep him away because he keeps coming back. It's annoying. Besides, he offered me his ramen when my onigiri fell on the mud back in seventh grade.

Who's talking about marriage? Aren't you a little too young for that? I do appreciate people. You're just not one of them, frankly; therefore, you don't seem to see it. I… apologize, I guess. I didn't put any thought about the fact that you only have your aunt and no parents; it's just that I almost lost my mother to breast cancer last year, your words weren't _necessary_.

I am friends with them because of the Dobe – and we were all in the football team in high school. And we have things in common, I suppose.

-Thunder.

P.S. I have learned something. There are more annoying people than the Dobe.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _TYVM_

Hey Sunshine.

Well, you act pretty bitter. At least in opinion. I apologize for assuming so.

It's nice to have someone who cares.

My idea of happiness apparently doesn't mash well with yours. My idea of happiness is being free to act how I want without any prejudices.

My boyfriend has those. They are annoying. I'm not saying it because I'm possessive of Sai, but it's ridiculous that we can't watch a movie at my house with the rest of our friends without them pressing their faces against the window and trying to get down the chimney.

The Dobe reminds me of the Pig. She can insult anyone as much as she wants, yet she has so many friends. I wish I was like that. But I'm close to all of my friends, so I suppose it is okay.

You sound in denial of having friends. He sounds special in more ways than one. ;) Are all of your friends like The Dobe or are some of them different?

You played _football_? From all of these emails, I kinda thought you were one of those guys in a band. You don't seem much of a team player. Again, not an insult, just an observation.

Marriage is generally the final step in a relationship of that sort. That's all I'm saying. I know guys don't talk about marriage and stuff, but really. All I'm saying is that kind of relationship is really special. In a good way.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother getting breast cancer and that you took my words offensively. I didn't mean it that way. I just didn't _know_.

I got over my parents dying. Kind of. Actually, not really. No one ever really gets over people who are special to them _dying_. We're really fragile, humans are. My parents were just the victims of some tragic freak accident. They were out getting some tinsel for the Christmas tree when they got into an… altercation with some people who _really_ wanted the decorations.

They never came back home.

And the stupidest thing is that we were in an argument right before they left. I didn't say I hated them, but I slammed the door in their faces right as they left.

I don't even remember what the argument was about. It's one of those things that seem so important at the time, but the only important thing when it came down to it was that it _happened_.

-Superstar

P.S. If I'm that annoying, why should I continue responding to these? Why shouldn't I let you _fail_?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Hn._

I get that a lot. I just don't mind it. Your apology is accepted, unnecessary but accepted.

I don't have an idea for happiness. When it comes, I'll just know by simply feeling it.

Ah. You're jealous, yet you try to hide it. It's alright, fangirls are annoying as hell. They won't allow you to fucking study, or eat a proper meal out with your family or just fucking be a normal person because they're always staring and always trying to get a date. It's annoying as hell. If there's a genocide in the near future, it's to rid the world of these pestering girls.

Yes. The Dobe is a buffoon of the highest caliber. Yet he has a load of friends. I never said I didn't care about the idiot. If you do ever meet him, ask him what happened to the guy that was being an ass to him in ninth grade.

Sigh. Yes, I played football – I was forced to, actually, both by the guys and the need to get into a good college. And I am only a team player when I have to be, such as in football. I'm not in a band… though, I do have a guitar and I play it on my free time.

I'm dropping the marriage talk simply because I am a guy and… guys don't talk about that.

Yes….I apologize for lashing out on you in such a way. I just got too angry and didn't frankly notice what I wrote as I wrote it. I'm sorry to hear about your parents – those must have been some nice tinsel. Ah, yeah, teenagers have that habit of slamming doors in faces – I used to do it to my father and brother all the time. Now… I just ignore them both.

I'm sure they… erm… know you didn't hate them or mean anything you said. Parents know these kinds of things.

-Thunder.

P.S. Because from what I've taken in so far, is that you are kind and wouldn't want to be the reason for someone to repeat a course.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _And that's supposed to mean…?_

So I decided not to call you Sunshine anymore. I'll admit it was to simply make you upset.

Well, yeah. But how do you know you're feeling happiness? Do you have this warm feeling in your chest?

I'm not jealous! Sai-kun's really special to me and all, but I get that he has his friends and that some of them are girls. But these girls are so freaking materialistic and just interested in his looks when he's so much more than that. If you ever want to start said genocide, be sure to include me in these plans.

Did the Dobe save you then? In a spiritual manner of speaking, anyways. But people like the Pig and the Dobe are pretty cool people. They have charisma and all that.

I play guitar too! We should do some Marianas Trench covers together at the end of the nine weeks. The Pig plays piano, soooo… yeah!

Heh, the tinsel wasn't that important. It was just because it was our first holiday season since my parents remarried… each other.

If your dad and your brother are that irritating, do ignore them. Reacting just gives people more glee.

I think they did too. At least I hope.

-Superstar

P.S. I'll take that as a compliment. Have you _tried_ asking your teacher to give you another assignment…?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _It means what it means. HN._

So. No more 'Sunshine'? How amazing. If I actually cared, I'd feel sad.

I don't know how happiness feels – I haven't felt it. If it gives you a warm feeling in the chest, then I'm going to say that that's pretty stupid.

Sure, you're not jealous. Of course not. Yes, the fangirls seem to only run on hormones – if they'd be given what they wanted, they'd put even the rabbits to shame. And the poor unfortunate soul would be left broke in the streets. Hn, if you are sure you won't spoil anything, maybe I'll allow you to help me get rid of these annoyances.

So… This Sai-guy is your… boyfriend?

No, you misread – more facts to prove you're illiterate – I saved him because he's an idiot and was afraid to fight back; then and only then, did he begin to defend himself. People like the Dobe and the Pig are annoying. More than annoying – aggravating.

Hn, maybe we can. If you don't embarrass me. I have a friend with vocals.

So….your parents divorced. And then remarried. Each other. Just… no comment.

My brother is annoying and so is my father – I rarely see them now since I spend more time studying than at home. If I ever do go home, it's to please my mother.

You shouldn't think it, or hope it – you should know.

-Thunder.

P.S. If he had given me another assignment, do you really think I'd be here?

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _How… masculine of you. Caveman-masculine._

You're just too troublesome. Haha.

That kind of happiness is cliché. Happiness is where you find yourself smiling or laughing for no good reason. When you don't think about the apocalypse or the fact that nothing is perfect.

Fangirls are like starving rabid cats. They just keep coming without reason. And I'm not jealous. I don't feel the need to call him every five minutes just because he might be getting a little too friendly with a chick. And yes, Sai is my boyfriend.

…

When I think about it, I really don't have to worry about it. It's hard to explain it. He's not really into PDA, which is nice. All of the snuggling couples in the hall and constantly holding hands and kissing… it's annoying. It's, like, _"Hi! We know you're going out, but we don't really need to see you play tonsil hockey."_ You know?

I can totally be a secret agent. Take them down, one fangirl at a time.

But they aren't afraid to be themselves. They aren't afraid of getting close to people. That isn't exactly an easy thing to be.

Why'd you save the Dobe, if he's so "aggravating"?

I won't. I've played for years. I'm not an amateur. And that works! I know someone who's really dec at keyboarding.

They got drunk, got married, and divorced after their hangovers went away. I was born and last year, they began working at the same company. So yeah. Weird world, huh?

What's so bad about your brother? I swear I'm not doing my analyzing this time. I always wanted an older brother…

And parents are supposed to be kind of annoying. They're at a different place in their life than us and they don't understand how the world has changed. But they mean well.

Generally, speaking.

Okay, okay, I know. Geez, pushy much?

-Superstar

P.S. Yeah. If you study all the time, how do you connect with the outside world? Humans need social contact, even though some may need it less than others. Have you ever had a girlfriend? How often do you spend time _not_ studying? Things like that.

P.P.S. I kind of like this weird… thing going on here. Most people can't keep up with me.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Oh baby, I can be very masculine when I want to be._

So, babe, I was just pulling your buttons all those other times.

The truth is, I really like talking to you and we should totally meet some day, you know? I mean, I know, I know, you have a boyfriend and everything, but I'm not saying anything wrong, you know? I mean, I feel the connection don't tell me you don't feel the connection – don't lie to yourself.

So, if you can find it in you to forgive me and give me a chance to redeem myself – if you know what I mean - I'd be more than happy to show you just how happy and awesome I can be.

What do you say, Sweet thanggggg?

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _Awesome. ;)_

So, ya knowwwww, I totally go for all those threesomes.

I could talk to my boyfriend…

And then I'll get back to you. ;)

-Superstar

P.S. Yeah, right.

P.P.S. You're the Dobe, aren't you? Thunder's told me a lot about you. :)

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _…You're disturbing._

_What _the fuck are you talking about? I was just about…Oh my fucking god.

I am going to kill the Dobe.

And you're just….weird for even going along with his idiocy.

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _Why, thank you. You're really nice too._

Don't kill him! I haven't met him yet.

Anyway, honestly, I should be the upset one.

You apparently think I'm a whore for even considering for a _moment_ that I meant it.

I'm never responding to you.

Ever.

Again.

So good luck failing.

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _I try._

You and I both know I didn't even mean it like that. Hell, that didn't even cross my mind.

Alright then, go ahead. I just hope you have a conscience big enough to carry the load of making me fail my course for the rest of your life.

-Thunder.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No Subject_

Hey….You weren't serious were you?

You weren't, right?

-Thunder.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No Subject_

Superstar, it's been…a day already.

C'mon, as hard to believe as it sounds, I really wouldn't like this whatever to end with you hating me for assuming I called you a whore.

Can you please reply?

-Thunder.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No Subject_

Hey?

-Thunder.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No Subject_

Hey…

-Thunder.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No Subject_

Hey

-Thunder.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No Subject_

Hey…

-Thunder.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No Subject_

Hey…

-Thunder.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No Subject_

…Hey….

-Thunder.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No Subject_

Alright, look.

I'm sorry.

For whatever it was that offended you, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'll even let you call me Sunshine without saying anything. Just….reply, will you?

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _Thanks Sunshine!_

Okay, just to clear the air, I'm sorry I didn't respond for a while.

One of my friends had to take my laptop for a few days because it had a virus on it (of a weird blond guy eating ramen. And then ramen filled the screen.

It's been giving me nightmares.

Can't believe I'm afraid of drowning in noodles…)

So yeah.

Thanks for apologizing about your comment. I know you didn't mean it.

But it still was upsetting, so thanks. :)

-Superstar

P.S. So what's up in your life?

P.P.S. Ugh, so apparently the Pig's penpal is really flirty.

And they're spending most of their emails flirting with each other.

Have I ever thanked you for _not_ being like that?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Hn._

...I'm not going to comment on many things, just to continue to stay on your good side - you've proven to be hard to handle, and I don't want to... yeah.

You know, that virus... I knew they were up to no good. Tch. Morons.

There isn't much going on in my life - it's pretty mellow; aside from the Dobe and the other idiots being... well, idiots. Other than that, everything's been the same. Now, to show you once again that I am polite, I'll ask you what is new in your life. Again, that was me asking.

-Thunder.

P.S. The Pig's penpal sounds like a complete moron. If all they do is flirt, there is no way said moron is going to pass.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _Love you too._

Well, I love how you're going to be "nice" to me. But that's not exactly genuine.

How often do you talk to girls? Like, non-fangirl girls. Ones with brains.

The Dobe...?

It's been normal.  
Except for my friend the Pig. She's a big partier and all that.  
Then she had this little fling with some older guy and now she's all obsessed.  
But I think ever since her boyfriend dumped her for this dude-look-a-like, she's been wondering if there's something wrong with her.  
Which there isn't.  
But that's the only mildly interesting thing in my life.  
Other than AP work.  
Ugh.  
Oh, and my interning at my Aunt's hospital...

What about you?

-Superstar

P.S. Well, he'll certainly pass SOCIAL studies. XD

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: I don't care.

Who said I was going to be _nice_? I'm going to be normal - polite, maybe. But no. Not nice. I don't do nice.

Here you go again asking questions about my life; I speak to girls on a regular basis - my mother and my teachers. Not that that was any of your business.

Yes, Superstar, the Dobe.

Tch.  
My brother's friends just turned out to be gay for each other, too.  
The Pig should grow up and forget about something petty and stupid as wondering if something's wrong with her; she shouldn't care as long as she feels good. At least that's what my mother says to her friends during those awful and scarring Girl's Night In.  
You have an internship at your aunt's hospital? That's rather interesting, I suppose.

I've been the same since the last time I replied to you. Nothing's changed, except the Dobe and his stupid girly-giggles when he gets replies from his pen-pal. Which is annoying as fuck.

-Thunder.

P.S. Was that you trying to be funny?

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject:_ Do you ever care?_

Are you even normally _polite_? It does not seem like it to me.

So you never talk with girls your own age. Are you okay? Do you have hormones? Do you ever think a girl is _worthy_ of your attention?

...  
He's cute. In the I'm-nice-and-approachable kind of way.  
Do you have Death Glares O' DOOOOOOM or something? You probably do.

That's sweet. In a way.  
It's not that easy when you're wondering if you turned your boyfriend gay. Think about it. The person you're dating seems straight until you find them macking this GIRL/BOY when they should be macking... you. Or someone of the same gender as you.  
I'm trying to picture someone like you being in the same house with more than one female...  
XD. Sorry, can't do it.

Well, I'm glad you approve.  
It's fun when there's less gore...

-Superstar

P.S. It was supposed to be a play on words.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _I suppose I do every now and then._

Your words are annoying. Again. It's becoming difficult to be polite.

He's an Idiot. With a capital I.  
Enough said.

Hn.  
I don't have a boyfriend nor will I ever so I don't know about half of the things you just wrote. And frankly, I don't care.  
And I believe me, I leave just as soon as I have the first chance. My brother, though, takes his time and chats. Tch.

-Thunder.

P.S. You fail.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject:_ That's good. Because else you'll end up like an old woman with a million and one cats!_

Tch.  
It's not that difficult to be polite.  
You just lack a few social graces. Do you need help learning them?

NO.  
I meant, like, if you had a girlfriend and you caught HER kissing a GIRL... You begin to wonder if it's your fault.  
Your brother sounds like a caring person. And actually polite.

-Superstar

P.S. You seem to be well-acquainted with failure.  
Not meant disparagingly, but as a comment.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Hn._

This whole message was stupid. And pointless. Kinda like the first ones you sent.  
We're moving backwards instead of forwards.

-Thunder.

P.S. Do you even know me enough to make such a stupid judgement or "comment" like that? Idiot.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject:_ 2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Backward_

Patience, young grasshopper.  
I'm just practicing my skills of observation.  
And I have had practice socializing.  
Do you want help or are you happy being... however you are now?

-Superstar

P.S. It's called teasing. Get a sense of humor... Geez Louise...

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No Subject_

I'm not a grasshopper.  
Your observation skills suck.  
You must be proud of your practice. Hooray.  
No.

-Thunder.

P.S. It's called being annoying. I don't need a sense of humor.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject:_ Your creative ability with subjects astounds me._

Sure you aren't.  
You're a rookie.  
At conversing with people.

-Superstar

P.S. Remember what happened the last time you insulted me?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Ah, you noticed. I feel special now._

No. I'm not. Thank you for grasping that concept.  
I'm an Alpha.  
Says you, who doesn't know me at all.

-Thunder.

P.S. But does it count if you insulted me first? I was just defending myself.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject:_ You are special._

It's this literary effect called "sarcasm".  
I suggest you look it up.  
Try Delta, Sunshine.

-Superstar

P.S. I'm not arguing with you anymore. You're acting like a child, Sunshine! Lighten up! :D

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Please don't tell me you're Barney or something._

Oh, Sarcasm. Yeah, I tend to use it a lot.  
I don't think I need to look it up, Superstar, but thank you for the suggestion. Not.  
No, I'm an Alpha. The Dobe's a Rookie and I suppose Barbie Doll is a Delta.

-Thunder.

P.S. I'm _not _a child.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject:_ No, silly. Barney was about _unique. _You are _special.

I figured.  
... Does that even _count_ as sarcasm?  
As long as I'm not Barbie Doll, I'm fine with that.

-S

P.S. Point proven.

* * *

To: cherrlipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Oh, joy. _

Wow, you actually figured something that's precise.  
That wasn't sarcasm, Superstar. Read the subject, though.  
No, you're not Barbie Doll.

-Thunder.

P.S. _Hn_.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject:_ I don't think I've ever read you say any synonym to the word 'happy'. A first!_

Are you referring to the commercial Barbie Doll?  
Yeah, I know. I'm not first in my class without reason.

-Superstar

P.S. Do you just say that when you can't think of an appropriate rebuttal?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No way. How amazing._

....Is there any other Barbie Doll?  
Yes, yes, that's very nice. You must feel very proud.

-Thunder.

P.S. No. I say it when I'm too annoyed for words.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Anko sat in Luffy's Family Restaurant, a steaming cup of coffee in her hands, and a smirk-smiling Kakashi across from her. The restaurant was a bustling place, set in warm light and colours, full of laughter and the clinking and clacking of dishes and cutlery. It was a nice place.

So Anko sat there, and gave Kakashi a grin that generally spelled 'DOOM', as she said "So, here we are."

His eyes crinkled at her, as he presumably smirked. That damn mask. "Here we are."

Anko tilted her head as she surveyed him. He was gorgeous, in a way. He always had been - he just looked older now, and a little more tired. It suited him, though, and Anko smiled as she brought the steaming cup of coffee to her lips. "So, tell me, why _did_ you say yes? You haven't told me yet, you know."

Under his mask, Kakashi's smirk stretched. He grasped his cup of tea, not taking a sip, but rather warming his hands with it's steaminess; under the table, his left heel came to rest _just _above his right (shaking, because it was a habit of his to shake his foot while seated) knee. "Now, now, Anko," his tone was teasing, and the excessive eye-crinkling proved it, "there's nothing wrong with helping a once-upon-a-time colleague in need, is there?"

She snorted. "Not when the colleague in question probably has 'waving bells under people's noses and watching them flail after them before they crash to the ground' as one of his Facebook interests."

Kakashi's smirk grew exponentially in size. "Touche."

Tilting her head the other way, Anko sized him up. "... You're not going to tell me are you?"

The man just gave an innocent smile and ducked behind the cover of a familiar orange book.

* * *

Sakura was making her way back from the old-fashioned jukebox when she heard a crash and an unfamiliar screech of, "YOU PERVERT! PUT THAT FILTH AWAY! WE'RE IN A FU- FREAKING FAMILY RESTAURANT."

Making her way to the disturbance, she was perturbed to find her Advanced Placement Psychology teacher under some purple-haired woman who was scrambling over his chest, reaching for the orange book he held away from her. If Sakura were being completely honest with herself, she would admit that it wasn't creepy so much as kind of attractive.

"Well, Anko, this isn't normally the way I'm used to doing dates, but I have no problem... switching up the order." Sakura swore she saw his eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

"Anko" twitched and smacked him upside the head.

Sakura heard an indignant snort come from her left side. Blinking, she tore her attention away from the two adults and turned to look at who exactly came to stand next to her. And by god... Her train of thought went blank and she just _stared_.

* * *

"Leave it to Kakashi to piss off someone like Anko." Sasuke shook his head and rolled his obsidian-black eyes. His posture was laid back, hands dug into his black skinnies, eyes half lidded as a way to emphasize his indifference and _yes, _he _can _see through the strands of rebellious hair that fell over them. All he came here for was for a nice burger, that's all; the last thing he wanted, let alone _expected, _was for that crazy harpy to be coughing her lung out at his brother's man-friend.

* * *

"Kakashi, you just _destroyed_ you chances of getting any tonight, I hope you know," Anko whispered pleasently, her breath ghosting over his skin. She felt the slight gulp that was his Adam's Apple, and she smiled to herself.

And she watched as he narowed his eyes slightly. Oh, she _so_ had him right where she wanted him. She carefully peeled herself off his chest, his vile orange book in her hand, and slid back to her side of the booth. She glanced around, to see if anyone had seen their little spat, and nearly choked on her own spit as she saw the Little Brother and the Little Brother's partner, standing right next to each other, staring at the two adults like they were aliens from Mars.

Anko started to laugh.

So close...

"You guys are so retarded."

"You... boy. Never use that word about people. It's offensive to those with brain degenerative problems." Anko heard her mumble something about _no matter how _pretty_ you are you are such a cruel stupid person with a minute vocabulary_.

"Tch. Annoying."

... yet so far.

* * *

The girl with the weird pink hair was still glaring at him. Ignoring the Kiba-esque voice in his head that was saying_ you do know that glaring is just mental undressing, right_, Sasuke glanced coolly at Anko who was now just laughing her head off, sounding like a hyena on helium.

"You have to wonder how they managed to get their teaching degree considering Kakashi-sensei reads porn like _not_ reading it would kill him," the girl muttered from beside him.

"Aa, Anko-sensei should be in jail considering how many laws she breaks regularly in a thirty second time period. But there's a reason she's not- she doesn't hesitate in breaking more."

Bored of watching his psychology teacher act like she normally did in class in public, Sasuke observed the girl.

She wasn't a beauty, though her hair color was... unique. He decided it was real enough when he saw how her eyebrows matched her hair to a tee. Green eyes in a shade he had never seen before- some weird cross between emerald and a sea-foam green- were looking at her nails. Sasuke had met her less than five minutes before, but he'd already noted her tendency to talk to herself.

"I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with a dysfunctional teacher..." She trailed off.

* * *

What else was there to say, Sakura wondered.

She couldn't deny that whoever this guy was was attractive. It is the kind of attractive that makes her wonder what god in the world gave her pink hair, for gods sake. Who is ever "allowed" to be pretty when their hair color isn't even supposed to be biological possible? But Sakura also knew that with sparkling apple martini-colored eyes, the exotic combination attracted looks.

Okay, maybe some were lecherous looks, but whatever.

But this guy...

He couldn't be much older than her. Maybe two years? But he had that ease and grace that seemed beyond his years. Social he was not, but pale skin with darkdarkdark hair that looked slightly blue in the light and eyes black as her nail polish made him look as distant as Pluto in terms of maturity. He garnered many stares from the girls and guys on dates. The girls wanted him and the guys wanted him to go throw himself through the jukebox.

It was funny yet overwhelming all at once; Sakura had trouble reminding herself that she _did _have a boyfriend. But... ogling was alright, it _had _to be! Or the world was breaking _a lot _of rules. Sakura sighed and, with a lot of trouble, turned to look back at her nails.

"Well then, are you two done making yourselves look like complete dorks," she asked, but never lifted her eyes up to the two adults.

* * *

Sasuke couldn't help it, he smirked at her drawl and her lack of interest.

His eyes darted to Anko and Kakashi and he raised an eyebrow once they were back in their... proper places. He snorted once again and shifted his weight from one leg to the other. The harpy and Kakashi... Sasuke thought it was completely _allowed _to want to black mail. Where was that Dobe when you needed him.

"I'm out of here," he said, turned around and walking away, hands still in his pockets. He stopped for less than a second and peered at the Pinky from the corner of his eyes before he continued on his way. "It's not sane to stick around the both of you together; it's enough with one."

* * *

Sakura grinned at the guy's _totally true_ statements.

Well... On Kakashi. She didn't know the very pretty woman, so she had nothing to say. She was really pretty, though. Huh, she liked her hair - and she had spunk. She seemed awesome.

"I'm heading out too," Sakura grinned and with a roll of her eyes she turned away, "I think I won't _ever _look at this place the same way again. Thanks Kakashi-sensei, thanks a lot."

Shaking her head, she headed back towards where she came from, but not before turning to watch that (hothothot) guy walk out of the Luffy's.

* * *

Anko let out a wide smirk. Someone loved her Up There. They just _had _to because _this_?

Yeah _this _was amazing.

_This _was _epic_.

She hadn't even _planned _for this to happen and yet it did and she was allowed to make mild observations and _god _was life beautiful right now. She then froze. And with narrowed eyes, small pout (it was a frown, dammit), her eyes zeroed on an ever eye-crinkling Kakashi.

He waved nonchalantly, and yet, Anko knew, he _knew _just what was going through her head.

Oh, life was alright. Not all that great.

(She vaguely made a note to send Itachi a friendly email about how she was amazing and how she rocked and how this was _so _going to be at the top of the list of _The Best Damn Things Anko Has Done To Society_.)

"Well..." She trailed off.

Kakashi smirked, eyes crinkling yet again. "May I have my book back, Anko-chan."

Anko decided that this man was going to be no more in mere seconds.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa**: Yeah, hi, this was EPICWINFUN. HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE!  
**les**: Jingle bells that girl smells, that guy laid an egggg. my mom's car lost a wheel and my sister ran away! Hay! Happy Holidays you guys!  
**sonya**: i'm turning 18 in 23 hours and 15 minutes. SAVE ME FROM BEING OLDDDD!!! D: this chapter was SUCH a blast to write; then again all the chapters have been fun so far. but anyways, you are all awesome. review & be awesomer (& that is totally a word). & happy holidays! 3


	3. how to make an exconvict one's bitch

So. Hey. Thanks for the reviews and the support. Keep rocking our fruit bowls, yes? :D  
**Disclaimer: **we don't own anything. some other people do.  
**Dedication: **to good laughs. And understanding one another. And still Lady Gaga, coz she's amazing.

* * *

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* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _I found Nemo._

So, like, hey there Toots.

I'm awesome, but enough about me, let's talk about you? How old are you and can I get your number?

Uh.

I think I'm cool enough to _not _give you my name so how about you call me Sharky? My age is legal enough, I suppose and my hobbies are partying with some of the buds. …Let's forget about this stupid paper and do this assignment _our _way, huh? I hope you caught my drift, Toots. Winkwink.

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _Haha, very clever. Note my sarcasm._

So, like, hey there Fag.

I'm awesome too, but, hey, all you need to know is that I'm not legal, and so _no_, you can not have my number.  
The fact that you asked is kinda creepy, tho'. Just so you know.  
And it makes me suspect that you're kind of an asshole.

Call me Toots again, and I'll let you fail, Jailbait. Because, please, I am not Superstar, and I'm not that kind.

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Your sarcasm sucks. A lot._

Yeah, _not _a fag. Very far from it, actually.

Tch, I landed with a chick who's possibly the queen of all that is bitch. I mean, dude, calm down, sheesh. I wasn't being all that serious, I don't think I'd actually like dating a younger girl. Too much problem and the last thing I want is going back to the slammer. Kidding.  
Also, it sounded creepy because you wanted it to. And because you believed me.

If I'm an asshole, you're a bitch.

-Sharky :D

P.S. TOOTS.

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _At least I'm not making kid's movie jokes, dumbass._

Let's get _one thing_ straight here.  
My grade does not depend on this project.  
_Yours_ does.

So I suggest you play nice, _fishy_.

And get some originality, please.  
"Ice Bitch" has been my nickname since the first day of forever.

Now, I have to run to dance.

-Candii

P.S. Fine, you can fail. Just don't expect any sympathy from me when that crazy-ass student teacher of yours kills you in your sleep with arsenic, or something.  
Or, wait, maybe I should _thank_ her?

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Meh. I'm a kid at heart._

Well, you know.  
I'm not really all that scared of failing.  
This is just me fulfilling my mother's death wish, I suppose.

Hey, I'm playing nice, _toots, _it's you that's showing your damn fangs.

You know, technically, babe, I didn't call you "Ice Bitch". I said bitch. Simple.  
To me, your nickname's Toots, because I like that and I suppose it fits you.

But you know what I really need, I need you to talk to me about you since I have to write a report about my pen-pal at the end.

Oh, so you dance?  
_Niceeeeeeeee._

-Sharky :D

P.S. I'm not afraid of that nut-job, the most she can do is lick the side of my face and assign a report on something insignificant. Tch.

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _Grow up._

The only reason I'm writing this is because Kakashi was having a bitch-fit about me _not_ e-mailing you during this damn period.  
Fml.  
And what exactly did you mean by jail-time?  
I'm sure you fit _right in_ there.  
(I'm sorry about your mother, tho'. It's not easy losing parents.)

Fangs? What fangs?  
I don't bite, I scratch, sweetie.

Where did 'Toots' even _come_ from?  
And I happen to like Ice Bitch better. It's something I can shrug off.

...Yes, I dance.

-Candii

P.S. She would _lick_ you?  
Creepy, much?

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Nah, I'll do that later._

Heh, Kakashi-sensei?  
That perv - he's taught me all I know. Does he still read porn during class?  
Well. I got in trouble with the law for hustling, I suppose. Hah.  
I actually did - it's not all that bad; you just do time, eat, go back to your cell, have some free time and take some classes then go back into your cell. It helped me think a bit, I suppose.  
(Thanks, it wasn't easy coming out of jail to find out your mom was in the hospital.)

Oh, you scratch. Hm, I don't know whether to be scared, or curious.

Toots... I don't know, I just like it for you - you give off that vibe, I guess.  
Besides, if I call you Ice Bitch, it won't bug you as much. Heh.

I like that. Tell me more, yeah?

-Sharky :D

P.S. Tell me about it. She did it to an idiot in my class, and....it was just... _scary_.

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _You disgust me._

You had him, too?  
Yes, he does still read his porn. It's disturbing. And it's even _more_ disturbing when you hear half the guys in your class debating which one of the girls they'd want in those positions. And it's _even more_ disturbing when you hear your name come up in that conversation about ten times.  
And you wonder why I'm such a _bitch_?  
(I would hug you, but... ehh...)

I keep my nails filed to points for eye-gouging purposes only.

Oh, god, you're one of those guys whose an annoying asshole for a _living_, aren't you?  
With friends like these, who needs enemies?

No.

-Candii

P.S. ...Yeah, that _is_ scary. Kakashi was telling us about his university days. I _never_ want to see him with such a nostalgic look on his face _again_. It was freakin' _terrifying_.

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Tch. I can change that if you want._

Yeah, I had him. He was pretty damn awesome.  
Oh, we used to do that, too. There weren't much pretty girls back in my class, though. Lucky little bastards.  
(D'aww. A hug would have been nice.)

Ouch. That _does _sound scary.  
I worship you, please don't hurt me....?

Heh. It's an amazing job, babe.  
But I promise I'll be nice. ;D

Aw, Please....?

-Sharky :D

P.S. Whoa... That's scarier than what I've witnessed.....

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _Please, I am not giving you that chance._

He's a perv. Being a perv does not = awesome. Pervertedness = creepiness.  
Especially in someone _his_ age.  
Do guys _always_ do that? It's disturbing! And disgusting! And revolting! And horrible! And UGH, MEN ARE PIGS.  
(And not the good kind of Pig, like Piglette. I love that girl.  
And no hugs for you. I generally only hug people I _like_.)

Don't make me feed you to my cat.

If you're not nice, I can just stop the correspondence...  
So be mean, okay? And then I can whine to Kakashi, and he'll let me off! :D

No.

-Candii

P.S. It was terrifying.

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Damn. I tried._

I suppose. But I'm beginning to notice that you find mostly everything creepy.  
Are you okay?  
Yeah, it comes with the package - guys check out girls by default, it's a must-do. If you don't, you're not an Alpha Male like you're supposed to be. And men are Wolves, not Pigs.  
(Piglette? Is she hot? Kidding...  
But why? I haven't done anything bad to you. I'm trying to be nice.)

Okay, I...uh...apologize. Seriously.

Please don't stop, I actually want to get to know you - you seem kind of awesome. Winkwink. Yet annoying and a bitch, but that's okay, I can live with it.

C'mon, just one more fact?  
I mean, I think it's cool that you dance. What kind do you do? Ballet? Lambada? Tango? Salsa? Hip-Hop?

-Sharky :D

P.S. You poor thing, you must be scarred. D:

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _And you failed. Oh well._

Not everything. I only find... creepy things creepy.  
Men are pigs, regardless of what you say. Not all girls enjoy getting hit on, you idiot!  
(Don't even ask that question. Piglette is the kind of girl who makes everyone freeze and stare.  
You're failing at being nice. You're also failing at being _not annoying_.)

Che-yeah, whatever.

Awesome, annoying, and a bitch? Thanks, those are mostly insults.  
Go die.

AGH.  
FINE.  
I dance ballet (which I've danced since I was really little; it's what got me into dancing). I also do a lot of ballroom - generally tango, salsa, and cha-cha.  
Uh... I intensely dislike school?

-Candii

P.S. Meh, not as scarred as talking to you makes me! :D

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Well, no one said I was going to succeed, amirite?_

'Sup, Toots.

Sure, if you say so. Let's leave it at that, yes? The last thing I want is to end up like my buddy who's practically getting harassed with accusations of being an anti-social punk, which technically he is, but still.  
Men aren't pigs - maybe some are... yeah, definitely some are. But not all. And I'm sure that not all girls like it but... at least their self-esteem is growing, huh? And isn't that a good thing?  
(Whoa, whoa, whoa. She sounds gorgeous. And if she's that pretty, why call her Piglette?  
I fail at a lot of things, I guess. But YUS, I'm annoying you - that's a reaction of sorts. Oh yeah.)

You know, when someone says 'whatever' it's really rude. And it irks me. Tch.

Hey, you sound like quite a package, you must be worth something if you're Grade-A Bitch material, right? (And they're only insults because you want them to be.)  
Only if you come with me to keep me company.

Heh.  
Ballet, huh? Heh, I can picture you in a tutu - and that's not in the omg-let-me-rape-you-i'm-a-pedophile way, I meant that in the haha-look-i'm-laughing-in-your-face statement. Please try to differ that, I'm not all that ready for the slammer, remember that. But anyway, that's nice - do you do performances? Do your friends dance with you?  
I hate school too, there was a time in which I was plotting to bomb every school. Hm, I should continue with that plot.

-Sharky :D

P.S. D'aw, I suppose that should hurt my soul, but it actually makes me smug. Heh.

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha_  
_From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _I'm just amazed you're stupid enough to try._

'Sup, Jailbait.

Men are pigs. I can give you _plenty_ of evidence of that. Some random guy came up to me today in the caf, and asked me if I would blow him.  
IF THAT IS NOT A PIG, WHAT IS?!  
(She is gorgeous. It's almost unfair. I call her Piglette because... I just do. We've always nicknamed each other horrible things. Except Her Shyness, because she's just too polite to ever be that mean to someone. Like, _ever_. I love her dearly, but I don't think she could bitch someone out even if she really, really wanted to.  
Oh, so you want no reaction at all?  
...GO DIE.)

Whatever.

Grade-A Bitch? Yeah, that's about right.  
Excuse me while I snort. Keep you company? Not even in your twisted, depraved dreams.

I rock the tutu. Do not deny it. Yes, I do performances - not that you'll ever be invited to one, thank god -; and, uhm... Well, Piglette and I dance together. That's how we met; in pre-school level ballet.  
And as much as you bother me, yes, I think you should bomb every possible school.  
It'll stop Kakashi-sensei from READING OVER MY SHOULDER.  
Excuse me. I have to commit a homicide.

-Candii

P.S. You have a soul? Really?

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _I'm amazed at how much of a bitch you are._

'Sup, Toots.

Whoa, okay, yeah. That's probably taking it to far; it's kind of gross and frustrating just to think about. But then again, he's a high schooler and most guy high schoolers are immature. Would you like me to beat him up for you?  
(Heh, she _sounds like a charm_. So, you mean to tell me, that if you see this here Piglette out on the other side of the street you'll yell "HEY, PIGLETTE" rather than her name? And what would she answer? "HEY, BITCH"? Heh, that's pretty awesome. Her Shyness sounds rather adorable and innocent - why's she friends with you?  
Hm... I don't know, actually. Some sort of reaction would be nice... unless it's you foaming at the mouth. That'd be nasty.  
Only if you die with me.)

...I'm ignoring your stupid whatever.

Oh yeah, I hit the mark. So you're really known as the Ice Bitch (or the variety, at least)? Why? Do you like, bitch at everyone? Have you fought a guy before?  
I don't think I have dreams of you... and I don't think I ever would, either. Actually, I think it'd be considered a nightmare if you're in it, don't you think Miss Ice Bitch? (I think your company will make my life complete. Notice the sarcasm.)

I'm sure you do. For some reason, I picture the tutu to be black... or crimson... just not _pink_. I don't think I'd want to be invited to one of your performances; I wouldn't want to be scarred if you end up being a girl with thunder thighs. Ohhhhh, so Piglette dances, too. Damn, I take that back, I'd like to be invited - I'd be so into watching Piglette perform that I wouldn't notice your thunder thighs jiggling all over.  
Really? I'd do it in a heartbeat just for you. Just say the word.  
Heh, Kakashi-sensei's awesome. And don't hurt him _too _much, rumor has it that my student-teacher has the hots for him. Or so I've heard (hence the 'rumor').

-Sharky :D

P.S. Of course I do - it's the mate to yours, Toots. Heh.

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _I'm amazed you're stupid enough to not have noticed sooner._

Jailbait,

Please, if you beat him up, that means we'd have to meet, and I'm kind of trying to avoid that. But, like, _seriously_! Why do guys do that?! Do you (I'm referring to your gender in general, here) _actually_ think it'll get you somewhere? BECAUSE IT WON'T.  
(Yeah, that's... usually how it goes. :D And Her Shyness hangs out with us, because she loves us. Duh.  
Sorry, I don't do rabies. I know a _dog_ who does, tho'... Could I introduce you two, sometime? And maybe let him, oh, I dunno, _bite_ you? Oh, but wait... That would mean I'd actually have to see your face... Never mind, then.  
And I don't think a brutal homicide-suicide combo would be a good thing, on either of our parts, thanks.)

Whatever!

No, I'm just cold. And I refuse to play nice with fools.  
I've only been in a catfight once.  
And if my company would make your life oh-so-terrible, then why do you keep hitting on me?

I played Odile in Swan Lake, so yes, a black tutu it is (Piglette played Odette. It was the most amazing show ever). Uh... Superstar does pink. Not me. Not by a longshot.  
...Forget Kakashi, you're my next homicide victim. Thunder thighs?! YOU, BOY, ARE GONNA DIE.  
(I thought you _didn't_ want to go back to jail...?)  
_Really_?! He's, like, _got a girlfriend_?! THAT WOULD EXPLAIN ALL THE RANDOM, NOSTALGIC LOOKS! OMIGAWD!

-Candii

P.S. Sorry, chocolate is my soul-mate. Which kind of means that your soul fails.

* * *

To: dancelikenooniswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _I'm amazed that you're stupid enough to think I haven't._

Toots,

You act as if I'm some mutant version of the Lochness Monster. I'm told I'm kind of sexy. I told you already, Toots, it's in a guy's nature to hit on girls - if guys didn't hit on girls, they would get get no girlfriends and therefore not get married or have babies and therefore the world would end.  
(Heh, that'd be something interesting to see... and hear... and watch others' reaction to. Her Shyness must not be as polite since she likes having weird bitches (you) as friends.  
Haha! You're so funny, seriously, you had me rolling on the floor. You should be some sort of comedian. Please take note of the sarcasm there.  
Then neither of us is dying, babe.)

DUDE, SHUT UP WITH YOUR WHATEVER.

Cold? Do you need a hug for body heat? A sweater? And I'm not a fool. Trust me on that, Toots.  
Have you? Why? What happened?  
Because I picture you to be generally hot and you've grasped my attention within two emails. Heh. And let's not forget that you don't like it.

You know, something else tells me that you look good in black. (And Piglette... hehehe. I'll just keep my thoughts to myself.) Superstar seems like a chirpy person just by the fact that she likes to wear pink.  
Well. Technically, I said you might end up being a girl with thunder thighs. I never said you _were. _You're probably tiny, even. But who knows, you took the thunder thighs comment to heart - maybe you do have thunder thighs?  
(I don't. Which is why I've been good for over a year and a half.)  
Heh, yeah, really. She's constantly on her blackberry and that little ding-sound-thing that alerts her for messages kinda goes off every...um, other second? Yep. Jeez, Toots, you're such a girl for that one.

Hey, how about another fact? Please?

-Sharky :D

P.S. Nah, chocolate can be your guilty pleasure - but your soul is nothing without mine.

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _I'm amazed I'm still talking to you._

Jailbait.

Fuck you.

-Candii

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; runwaygoddess  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _HELP ME._

Ladies, I have an issue with my e-mail-partner-person.

He's a jack-ass.  
And... DX  
Can I wail to you guys for a bit?

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _It's....attraction...?_

Toots,

Whoa. Did you really get _that _offended over the thunder thighs comment? Or everything? I'm guessing it's everything.  
But as for the thunder thighs comment - are you okay? Insecure, maybe? I'm not taking Psychology for anything - I can be your... what the hell are those called... Therapist! And it's not like I meant it, the comment, I mean.

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar  
From: runawaygoddess  
Subject: _HELP ME IF YOU CAN I'M FEELING DOWN._

Mine's is so amusing and he's so nice. I like talking to him.

Uh. Right. Not the right time for that, huh?

WHO IS HE?!  
HAS HE TOLD YOU WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE, JUST A BIT?! I'LL CASTRATE HIM!

Of course you can rant to me, Love, I'll listen AND THEN KILL THIS SON OF A MUFFIN!

Lessthanthree,  
Ino

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _Sak to the rescue! ;)_

Mine has the conversational skills of a guy who spent 20 years on a deserted island with a stick up his ass.

Rant away, dear! :)  
I know a lot of painful ways to torture a guy. :)

Cha!  
Sak

P.S. So pacifistic, Piggy. :)

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _Not. Happening._

I'm telling Kakashi to fuck himself. I really don't want to talk to you, anymore.

-Candii

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; runwaygoddess  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _He called me 'Thunder Thighs'. NEED I SAY MORE?!_

No, Ino, _really_ not the time. HOW COME YOU GOT A NICE ONE?! THIS IS NOT FAIR.

No, he hasn't told me what he looks like but... READ THE SUBJECT. DX  
Sakky, how much do you love me? Torture? TELL ME.

ttfn  
Karin

P.S. Piglette, can we go on a shopping spree?! PLEASE?!

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _I can live with that._

C'mon, are you really going to allow me to fail, just because of your insecurities? I didn't even mean it all like that, fuck.  
What do I have to do? Apologize?

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _OH NO HE DIDN'T. HE'S MAKING ME SNAP MY FINGERS IN A Z FORMATION._

Heyheyhey, I heard Hina got a nice one too! So there! I'm not the only one.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE REALLY WENT THERE. WAS HE JOKING? DID HE APOLOGIZE?! DOES HE EVEN CARE?!  
I'm killing him. Wait until I get my hands on him. Or figure out who he is. Either way he's going daaaaaaaon.

Lessthanthree,  
Ino

P.S. OH I AM SO IN. EVEN THOUGH I SHOULDN'T, ICE BITCH. STOP CALLING ME THAT.

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _... Has this guy ever spoken to a girl in his LIFE?_

Me & Ol' Thunder have a truce of sorts.  
If he insults me, he's failing this project ergo the quarter ergo the entire class.  
& he REALLY doesn't like the teach, sooo...

He'd better apologize.  
Pig, first torture and THEN you kill him.  
Karin: think the family bank account. ;)  
There are other ways, though. That's just the most amusing.

Cha!  
Sak

P.S. Be nice to each other. Honestly...

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _Have a nice life._

This is the last time I'm emailing you.  
Just so you know.

-Candii

* * *

To: runwaygoddes; cherrylipssuperstar  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _kthxbai_

I told him I was never going to email him again.  
So... yeah.

CAN WE GET ON WITH THE SHOPPING?!  
I have my daddy's gold card; he missed my birthday again, and I totally guilted him into it.

ttfn  
Karin

P.S. PIGLETTE, YOU'RE A BAD FRIEND. YOU CALL ME ICE BITCH, I CALL YOU PIGLETTE. IT'S ONLY FAIR.  
BUT ILY. Uhm, I'm calling Hinata...? Doesn't she have a spare last period...?

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _Nice Work, Candii_

If he isn't nice, why should you care if he fails?

Shop away! I have interning, though, so you'll have to go without me.  
And Hinata does have a spare last period.

Cha!  
Sak

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Please don't leave._

Look, I'm sorry I offended you, okay?  
I might be an ass and a flirt or whatever, but it wasn't my intentions to hurt your feelings or anything.  
I'm sure you're a very pretty girl, no flirting or hitting on intended.

Just....please don't let me fail. Please...?

-Sharky

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _OMG. I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING._

I NEED NEW SHOES.  
WE'RE GOING SHOPPING. NOW.

And good job at being a bitch, Karin. :D

LET'S GO SHOPPING NAOW. NAOW. NAOW.

Lessthanthree,  
Ino

P.S. NO, BITCH. I CALL YOU ICE BITCH BECAUSE YOU CALL ME PIGLETTE.  
ILY2! Andandand, can I give Hina a makeover this time?! PLEASE?!

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; runwaygoddess  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _...HE APOLOGIZED. WHAT DO I DO?_

READ SUBJECT, HELP KARIN.  
(He's got this weird-sweet-asshole-_thing_ vibe going on...)

And then we're going shopping.  
Like, _now_. And, _god_, Ino, 'naow' is NOT A WORD.  
YES I AM BEING CRAZY AND ANAL RETENTIVE AND I NEED SOME ICE CREAM, OKAY?

ttfn,  
Karin

P.S. LET'S DO IT. She hasn't let us make her pretty in a long time (which is ridiculous, because she's freakin' gorgeous), andandand... YOU ARE MY PIGLETTE. I AM YOUR ICE BITCH. SAKURA IS OUR FOREHEAD. HINATA IS OUR WALLFLOWER. AND TENTEN IS OUR ASYLUM ESCAPEE.  
YEAH.  
P.P.S Can I have some ice cream, _please_?!

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject:_ OMG. HE MUST BE A SWEETIE AT HEART!_

I THINK YOU SHOULD FORGIVE HIM. AFTER...WELL, IF HE TRIES AGAIN, FORGIVE HIM. I THINK. I DON'T KNOW, OKAY!  
(Awww, he sounds so cute! FORGIVE HIM!)

LET'S GO SHOPPING! SHOP 'TIL WE DROP!  
Naow is so a word! I mean, like, have you seen who I _am_! I am allowed to make up words and you can't stop me, bitch!  
ICE CREAM ROCKS MY TOES!

Lessthanthree,  
Ino

P.S. OMG! Yes! I love you! I think this prettypretty haircut will make her look so damn beautiful! I swear! (And she's beyond gorgeous, there are no words for her beauty.) AND OMG. I LOVE YOU ICE BITCH, I LOVE YOU! YOU HAVE MY HEART!  
P.P.S. Only if I can have some too!

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Okay..._

I deserve that. And a lot more. Ignorance is a low blow, and I deserve it and accept it.  
But, I really am sorry, Toots.

Seriously.  
Can you reply... at least once?

-Sharky

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; cherrylipssuperstar; runwithskizzors; moonsightdarklight  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _...ASGHJKFHJKL._

BOYS ARE DUMB AND MUST BE KILLED.  
SRSLY.  
(Ugh, f_iiiiii_ne... I'll forgive him... He emailed me again, too.  
BLAH. INO, SHOPPING. NAAAOOOW. And I'm stealing your made-up-words-that-I-was-just-ragging-about. Shut up. It's weirdly fun to say. :D  
Hinata and Tenten are coming, too, yes?)

It... rocks your... toes?  
Okay, Piglette, whatever you say.

SOSOSO...  
LADIES.  
Shopping, yes? We'll meet... at Hinata's, at four?

ttfn,  
Karin

P.S. I have your heart because I said Tenten was an asylum escapee? WE ALL KNOW IT. KNOW IT, AND LOVE IT.  
P.P.S. TENTEN, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME. *cheesy smile*

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _Hi, but only because Piglette is a bitch._

You should thank her.  
She's the person who convinced me to email you back.

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _OMG. HI, HELLO._

My regards to Piglette because she's nice. And pretty, from what I remember you saying.  
And I'm sorry, really, I'm sorry. I... yeah.

How's it been?

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: runwithskizzors  
Subject: _Oh god. Oh no. SOMEONE SAVE ME._

Boys _are _dumb. And they _should _be killed. But, come on, let's admit it, they're _pretty_.  
And Candii, I'm going to ignore the rest because I'm presuming there is boy trouble and I'm no help on that.

And I'm not even going to comment on Porkster's strange language.  
She's a dork, but it's alright.

Also, damn, I _really _don't want to go shopping... but I guess I'll go _this _time.  
Hinata's at four. Got it.

Later,  
Tenten

P.S. SCREW THE BOTH OF YOU! I TOLD YOU IT WAS A RUMOR! ANDANDAND MY TENDENCIES MEAN NOTHING - NOTHING, ALRIGHT?!  
P.S.S. YOU'RE DEAD, CANDII! DEAD!

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Er... Okay?_

Boy troubles? Your email partner for Kakashi-sensei's class, I'm guessing?  
...Mine is kinda nice, tho', and he makes me laugh...

AND THANK YOU.  
God, you just got me out of another family dinner. (...Why does my family have family reunions _once a week_? Why is this?)  
I owe you one, honey.  
(Er... Father said Neji was coming. DX I'm so happy I'm not gonna be there.)

Sincerely,  
Hina-chan

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; moonsightdarklight; runwithskizzors  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _kpce._

Lovely. See you all at four.  
And Hinata, you can buy me a new pair of shoes (or some ice cream. Yeah. Ice cream.)

ttfn,  
Karin

P.S. TENTEN, DO _NOT_ BRING YOUR KNIVES.  
P.P.S. AND YOU LOVE ME TOO MUCH TO KILL ME.

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _..._

Just don't remind me about it, and I won't set Machete on you.

Uh, well, I'm about to go shopping, so I'm... going... to leave now?

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _dotdotdotquestionmark_

Hey there, Toots,

Okay... I won't...really.

Shopping? Oh, the terrors. How about you tell me what you get later?  
...I think I need to get into the habit of saying that I don't mean things in any perverted way around you. Just to be safe.

-Sharky :D

* * *

.

.

.

The **AMAZING SHOPPING LIST for the GIRL'S NIGHT IN**. YES.  
BY KARIN (aka Candii)  
And commented on by _Hinata_, **_Ino_**, and **Tenten**. But not Sa-kura, 'cause she SUCKS and is NOT HERE.  
BITCH.

.

o1. ICE CREAM. YES. Because ice cream is my cure-all, and I'm dancing tonight. I need the energy. **_(OHMAIGAWD. I LOVE ICE CREAM.)_**

o2. SHOES. I want a pair of PeptoBismal-coloured pumps. I ORDER THEM. **(Whoa. Talk about pink. I'm not even going to say anything because... well, because.) _(Someone's afraid of dying a slow and painful death via the strangle-hold of one red-head. BAHAHA.)_**

o3. Uh, Ino, didn't Kurenai want us to get new dance slippers? (_Karin-chan, shouldn't that be under the last one?_) _**(... she did....? I mean, yeah, right, sure. She did. Correct... I need to go to the mall again.) **_**(BAHAHAHA TO YOU SKANK-FACE!)**

o4. A new skirt. And maybe a new shirt. OKAY, FINE, NEW CLOTHES, I HAVE MY DADDY'S GOLD CARD, I DON'T CARE. _**(I HAVE MY DADDY'S GOLD CARD, TOO! OHMAIGAWD, KARIN WE'RE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN. MARRY ME.) **_**(GAGGING. Now.)**

o5. Make-up. This is non-negotiable, Tenten. DUH. And Piglette, I'm not marrying you - you _cheated_ on me with _sugar_ last time we were engaged! (_Tenten... why do you even try?_) **(I... don't know... Hina.... I just don't know. BUT I AM NOT WEARING ANY MAKEUP! ALRIGH!? NONE! IT MAKES ME FEEL...WEIRD. AND HEAVY.) _(Oh suck it up, Thing. We're going makeup shopping and I know this prettypretty color that will bring out your eyes. Also, KARIN TAKE ME BACK. I CAN CHANGE!) _**

o6. NAIL. POLISH. BITCH. I'm nearly running out of lime green. **(Are you trying to look like a Christmas decoration....Heh, payback, betch.) _(OH. She went there! HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY SECRET LESBIAN LOVER LIKE THAT?!)_**

o7. And glitter! Even though this could technically count as make-up, it's SO AMAZING that it GETS IT'S OWN CATEGORY. DO NOT DENY THIS TO MEE. _**(I love glittahhhhhh!) **_

o8. Hair stuff - Ino, I think we need to get Tenten to take those hair-buns out for once (and WAI ARE YOU TELLING THEM ABOUT US?! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A SECREEET. FAAAIL.) _**(Whoops, that's my bad. UGH AND IT'S NOT LIKE THEY CAN'T TELL! HONEHH, I CAN'T KEEP MY EYES OFF YOU!) **_**(Okay, ew, get a room, whores. AND I AM NOT TAKING DOWN TWIN AND TWINNY, OKAY?! JEEZ. There are certain things a girl can't do and this girl can't part from her buns!) _(Is this where we're supposed to say Amen?)_**

o9. MOVIES. YES. Every Girl's Night needs one of these! YE-S. Or, like, eight. Oh, Tenten, Hina, are you guys coming to watch Ino and I dance? (_I know I am - anything to stay away from the family. Shudder._) **(Tch. And watch Fatso take up the stage? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd go for you Karin-chan, but not THE FAT WHALE.) _(DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! DO YOU?!)_**

1o. Anything else we need, ladies? (Maybe we could buy Sakura, like, a life, or something? She really needs to get away from the hospital.) (_I'm sure Sakura's perfectly happy with being a keener. Jeez, Karin, you make her sound like - like - like **me**!_) **(Well. I need new sneakers - converses preferably. Oh, and I need new hairpins andandand... jeans. And... stuff.) _(This is Tenten trying to shop, guys. A moment of silence for this miracle.) _(Let me kill her!) _(BAHAHA--OW!)_**

**_

* * *

_**To: ramenkamisama1; foolishlittlebrother02; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _THIS CRAP SUCKS. ANKO-SENSEI'S GOING OVERBOARD_.

DUDES.

I can't take this anymore, man! This girl is driving me nuts! I can't say one thing because she assumes another and I _just can't take this anymore_!  
SHE'S BREAKING MY BALLS, MAN - BREAKING THEM AND CRUSHING THEM AND LEAVING ME BALL-LESS AND SO UNMANLY!

I can't even flirt with her. At all. Because she's like the Spawn of Hades and she want's to skin me alive if I even _try _to!  
And she's evil! I... I can't take it, I can't take! It's tearing me apart!

...How goes it for you bitches?

-Suigetsu.

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha; ramenkamisama1; foolishlittlebrother02  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _No shit, Sherlock!_

Dude.  
All year project. Anko is too cruel.  
Seriously, who gave her the idea for this? That's a death sentence.

Uh... The chick I'm talking to sounds hot? And all we do is flirt?  
Damn, I pity you - sounds like you're loosing your manhood. That sucks, man. That totally sucks.

...  
It sounds like you got the hots for her, dude. Because you normally don't care so much.

It goes good. Really good.  
SUCKER.

-Kiba

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha; foolishlittlebrother02; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _EHEHEHE. SHE....SUCKS. YEAH._

D'aww, Shark-Face, this is me feeling sorry for you! NOT.  
SUCK IT UP AND BE A MAN, DOUCHE!

Look, I'd just like to say that my chick, who I am talking to is nice and sweet and SHE SAID SHE'D COOK ME SOME RAMEN IF I ASKED.  
So, kookookachoo to you all.

Also, Kiba, _you suck, you suck big zebra balls for this._

-Naruto-sama

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha; WhoLetTheDogsOut; ramenkamisama1  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Hn._

Alright, I'll make this simple.

Suigetsu, you're an idiot. The chick is probably stuck on PMS-ing mode, maybe she needs something to get off of it. And she sounds annoying as fuck.  
Kiba, you're a fucking man-whore. And an idiot. I wouldn't be surprised if other things happen betwen you and that girl. Considering this is you.  
Naruto. Oh, fuck, Naruto. You're a **Dobe**. An idiot. How can she make you ramen if you don't even know who she is?

The three of you are absolutely idiotic and annoying.

And the girl I'm talking to is just as annoying - she had me begging for her to fucking talk to me again. And I only did it because I need a fucking grade.

-Sasuke.

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; foolishlittlebrother02; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _You all suck._

Alright, you three are no fucking consolation. I swear to fucking god, man, like, what the fuck?

Kiba, you fucking shit-face. I don't have the hots for anyone - I mean do you know _who I am_?! I am Sui-fucking-getsu, bitch. I don't fall for anyone. Like the Emo-Tramp says, it's for the fucking grade! I mean, I don't care. At all. About this chick. At all. Seriously. I do care about my grade. And getting back in the slammer. We know how I get with that. Also, I fucking hate you, bitch. Flirting? Seriously? What does she say? And can I get her email?

Naruto, You sound suspicious you little bitch - you didn't give the girl your name already, did you? Considering you're an idiot, I wouldn't be surprised. And ramen, always ramen. Dude, if I'd want to steal all you're worth for, I'd just bribe you with ramen. This just show how small your nonexistant brain is.

Sasuke, you're an emo. And you're gay. I mean, seriously. The only thing that has me laughing is that the great Uchiha Sasuke begged a chick to take him back. Now _that _is what I consider 'whipped'. Damn, someone's getting ready for commitment - looks like you're not a fag after all. Heh.

And in case you guys didn't get it: I'm not falling for anyone, and my balls are breaking because this chick is driving me nuts.

-Suigetsu

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha; ramenkamisama1; foolishlittlebrother02  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _And you're just pissed that you're not getting any._

Dude, what did you expect - sympathy? Get real.  
We are not chicks. We do not bitch like chicks.  
And we don't do sympathy like chicks do sympathy!

...Dude, Suigetsu, you are so fucking into her. This is not even funny. Actually, it really is funny. ...DUDE, YOU'RE FLUSTERED. OVER A CHICK. THIS IS MAKING HISTORY HERE. HISTORY!!! She _clearly_ has you bitch-whipped.  
And BACK OFF, MAN. She's _mine_.  
What she says is none of your business. So BACK THE FUCK OFF.

Naruto, don't get herpes, or something, because that would suck.  
Actually, you know what, there's nothing I can do about you having herpes. Just don't pass them on to whoever it is that you're emailing. She probably deserves better.

Sasuke - getting some is better then getting none at all.  
Unlike some, I can legitimately say this.

And Suigetsu dude, if she's breaking your balls, that means you care. :D

-Kiba

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha; foolishlittlebrother02; WhoLetsTheDogsOut  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _You're just bluffing, Mutt. BLUFFING._

Dude, Suigetsu, The Mutt's right! You are totally digging this girl! I bet you get nervous when you see her replies in your inbox - hell I bet you reread and reread all of the messages you guys have sent each other and then you sigh and clutch at your heart and wonder when you'll meet and kiss and stuff. I read that crap somewhere. I forgot.

Anyway, the point is that Man-Whore Suigetsu is digging a girl and he wants to, like, do all that stuff I see people do - like... couple things...? Yeah.  
Also, Kiba, you should fucking share your chick, seriously.

I mean, my chick is pretty cool and nice and adorable and I'd hit them but... she's so... shy...?  
I mean....seriously. AND I DON'T HAVE HERPES, BITCH, THAT'S YOU. DUDE, YOU'RE SO RUDE. I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, WHAT.

And Sasuke-teme's an emo little prick. C'mon we all know that. There's no point in anything with this guy.

ALSO, SUIGETSU YOU FISH-BREATH, I DID NOT GIVE ANYONE MY NAME. I MEAN, REALLY, GIVE ME SOME CREDIT, BITCH, I'M SMART.  
And you can't bribe me with ramen... not all that much... okay... nevermind.  
Damn.

How about we stop bitching like little dykes, I feel... not manly.

-Naruto-sama

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha; ramenkamisama1; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _You're all idiots._

Look.  
The Mutt basically summed it up. We're not females, therefore we don't rant like females. Suck it up, bitch at us later, and pass. But if you want to repeat this course, then by all means continue to do what you're doing, apart from being annoying, it's quite amusing. And I'm going to ignore everything you morons said about me because you're all jealous that I don't have to do shit to get a girl. Not that I want one.

So Suigetsu, suck it up and go... figure out what to do with your raging hormones and find a way to claim your undying love for this girl. Oh god I can't believe I said that.  
Kiba, go fuck off somewhere else.  
Naruto. You're a Dobe. And you fucking suck.

-Sasuke.

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; foolishlittlebrother02; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Sasuke, you're such a bitch._

Alright, look, I don't have any fucking feelings for this chick, alright, dudes? I mean, I'm serious - why the hell do you guys think this?  
If I'm bitching it's because... well... because I can't take the trauma of such prissy girls, okay?!

Kiba. You suck for not sharing. I mean, seriously you sounded like such a dog feeling selfish about a bone.  
Like that dog from Tom and Jerry.  
Also, I do happen to know we're not girls, idiot! But even guys have the right to fucking rant! I mean, if there is no girl to... release my frustrations on, you guys are my next bitches.

IF SHE'S BREAKING MY BALLS, KIBA, IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S _BREAKING MY BALLS. _NOT BECAUSE I CARE. ABOUT ANYTHING.

-Suigetsu

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02; ramenkamisama1; sharkbaithoohaha  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _Suigetsu, you sound like a girl._

What kind of man are you? No guy calls another dude a bitch. It's just not done, stupid.  
And we think you're into her because you _never_ bitch about chicks. _Ever_.  
You fucking retard.

And fuck off, man!  
Girls aren't bones, they're hotter then that.  
Either way, _I do not share my women.  
So fuck off._

Dude, for fuck's sake, get over it.  
Get her address, and go bang her, for all I care! She wouldn't be breaking your balls then, would she?

-Kiba

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha; foolishlittlebrother02; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Kiba, he can't help it if he's a homo. :D_

Dude, Suigetsu, Dude.  
I'm gonna have to side with the Mutt on this one - I mean, _why _are you tripping so hard? I bet it's coz you lurve her! BAHAHA. Suigetsu actually fell for someone. Because, buddy, you're falling and you're falling _hard_.

This is like some modern Romeo and Juliet type of shit.

-Naruto-sama

P.S. I'm ignoring you, Sasuke-teme.

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha; ramenkamisama1; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Naruto, you fail._

Dude.

This conversation is going nowhere. Suigetsu, for fuck's sake, just fuck the girl and get rid of whatever bitch fit you're in. I mean, it's not all that hard, right? You've done it more times than you can count. Just do your shit and stop crying already, you're giving the other morons something to go on about.  
Kiba, you're a .... I don't know what the fuck you are. A mannist?

Yeah, you're such a mannist, Kiba.

-Sasuke.

P.S. This is actually a good thing, Dobe.

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; foolishlittlebrother02; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Sasuke, you're an ass._

You know what, dude, you all suck.

A lot.

I am not throwing a bitch fit, my balls aren't breaking because I'm into this chick and Kiba is a fucking stingy, greedy whore. Naruto, this isn't fucking Shakespeare or whatever and Sasuke. What. The. Fuck. A mannist? Seriously? What type of shit are you on and can I have some?

-Suigetsu

P.S. Ah, crap. Not another lover's spat between you two.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02; ramenkamisama1; sharkbaithoohaha  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _You guys are laaaaame._

Fuck you, Suigetsu, you're in denial. Your balls are breaking because you're not getting any. I bet it would be pretty hot sex, tho'... Y'think it'd be violent, or something...  
Naruto, shut the hell up. When was the last time _you_ read Shakespear? Forget that, when was the last time you _read_?!  
And Sasuke... Suigetsu's right. What the _fuck_ is a _mannist_?

-Kiba

P.S. Would you two just go get a marriage certificate, already, and make it official? You already argue like an old married couple...

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _Just got back from shopping..._

But now I have to run to dance.

Yay, will be teaching five-year-olds how to stand in plié...  
Note my enthusiam. Ugh. Kurenai (my dance teacher) is going to have my head - I didn't write out a lesson plan. HELP.

THE SHOPPING WAS SUCCESSFUL.  
Seriously. We even got Machete in a dress. It was amazing. (She _did_ try to stab Piglette, but, meh, that's nothing new. STUPID SUPERSTAR DIDN'T COME. BITCH.)

Anyways, KPCEBAI  
-Candii

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; foolishlittlebrother02; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _YOUR FACE IS LAME. AND UGLY._

I'M NOT IN DENIAL, FUCK-FACE. And what makes you think I'm not getting any? I just did your mom, didn't she tell you? Cougars FTW.  
Oh shit, do you think so? I mean, I wouldn't mind... rough, hot sex is the bomb, tho'.

-Suigetsu

P.S. I second that. Go be homos somewhere else and get frisky there, too. We don't need a show.

P.S.S. She emailed me... O-O

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02; sharkbaithoohaha; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _You're all a bunch of idiots!_

Okay, look, I happen to read all the time! I mean, I read The Da Vinci Code last week... Well, no I quit after the first page.... Hm... MAN, The point is I read!

AND I'M MOST DEFINITELY NOT MARRIED TO A PRISSY BITCH LIKE SASUKE-TEME! THAT'S OFFENSIVE! SO FUCKING OFFENSIVE! I LIKE GIRLS! GIRLS ARE HOT! I THINK ABOUT BOOBS AND OTHER STUFF AND I LIKE GIRLS! NOT GUYS.

Now excuse me while I go look for some lady-friends. Because I like girls. Not guys.

Bitches.

-Naruto-sama

P.S. Wow, Suigetsu, really. Woopdeefuckingdoo, she emailed you. Your life's complete now. Can I do the honors in killing you?

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Oh, hey._

Dancing today, huh?  
Good... luck? I don't know, I'm not good at these things, I guess.

Heh, I bet you'll lose your patience ten minutes into the whole session; I'd like to say you seem like that but I'm afraid there's going to be a repeat from the last time... I'd help, yeah, sure, if I knew anything about ballet - aside from the tutus and the ballet shoes and the stockings and the buns...

Machete seems like a... what are they called.... tomboys, was it? Well, she seems like that - pretty cool, too.  
Is it cool if I ask what you bought?

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: sharkbaithooohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _I don't want to be friends._

Meh, dance is dance.  
And I know you're not good at life - that's the reason I didn't talk to you.

I didn't lose my patience! ... Well, okay, I did, but that was with the twelve-year-olds. The five-year-olds are actually kinda sweet, and they try hard.  
STFU about the tutu's. They are as uncomfortable as they look. Ballet shoes are nice - it's the _pointe_ shoes that kill me. Piglette likes them, though. Then again, she's weird.

Yup, she is - tomboy to the core.  
Uh... We bought make-up, clothes, ice cream (I'm having a love affair with Cookie Dough. It's sooooo good...), and... well, we got Machete into a skirt. We should get hazard-pay for that last one..

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _I want your ugly, I want your disease._

Yes, dance is dance. Though, believe it or not, I don't like grinding. People consider that dancing, I don't really think that's dancing. More like... I don't even want to get into that.  
I'm ignoring this part because I'm trying to stay on your good side.

Hah, I knew you would of. D'aw c'mon, you were twelve and immature once. Or, well, no... I don't mean that... don't leave, yeah? (Whoa, you left me traumatized.) I think five-year-olds are adorable.  
Dude, the tutus are the only part of a ballet that I get! Tutus...when people say 'ballet' to me, the first thing that pops into my head is a tutu. And you lost me with the shoes. I wear converses....?

Heh, poor girl. She must be scarred for life.  
I....don't like ice-cream all that much. I drink a lot of water though! Heh, as I said before, the girl is scarred for life.

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _Okay, you can quote Lady Gaga on command. You just gained my respect a little bit._

I... do like grinding. But that's not dancing. That's _slut_ dancing! And it's basically sex on a dance floor. We all know it.  
Awww, you're sho kyoot.

I was _never_ that rude! I may have been a bitch to my age mates, but, uh, _not_ to my dance teacher! Kurenai would have _killed_ me if I had been! Wow, you really were traumatized, weren't you?  
It's one of the sad facts of life. To most people 'ballet' = 'tutu'. Which sucks, because it's actually seriously athletic. Pointe shoes are those shoes that let one stand up on extreme, extreme tiptoes. They hurt like a _bitch_, and I can't _stand_ them. They're like grace made tangible, but _damn_, do they hurt.

...You don't like ice cream.  
I don't think I can talk to you anymore. HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE ICE CREAM?!  
Is there something wrong with your brain?  
And water's great, but, seriously? Ice cream is a bagillion times better.

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Heh - Lady Gaga's awesome. In more ways than one._

...Do you now...? Hm, this is an interesting fact to know. Wow, I don't think my brain can process anything else right now...  
No, it's _not _dancing and it _is _slut dancing... I've never thought about it being sex on the dance floor, though...  
D'aw, I always knew you thought I was cute. Heh.

Well, I wasn't rude either... Much... A class clown, yes, rude, only sometimes. Kurenai sounds like a mean... teacher. I'm glad I've never met her in my life. Yes, I was traumatized - I should, like, be given some anecdote or something, you know?  
I believe you have the TV to blame for that, Candii - on every cartoon, on every show, ballet is best friends with tutus; a girl was a ballet dancer, she wore a tutu all the time. Damn, they sound like a pain... Maybe I should burn those too once I go on a World Domination spree - because if I _ever _settle down and if I _ever _have a daughter I'll be damned if she has to go through _that_.

No, no, I said I don't like ice cream _much_.  
I tolerate it, I eat it, I just don't like it all that much. And, c'mon, is everything about me _offensive _to you? Next thing you know, just because I hang out with an Idiot, a Mega Manwhore and an Emo Asshole, you're going to stop talking to me or something.  
Water's amazing - and _not _under ice cream. Water's like the king of all food and drinks. Seriously.

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _Never mind, you went back to the same level of respect as a slug._

Oh, why is it interesting? And if your brain can only process that I like dancing like a slut, you need a life.  
How could you think it was anything else?! Have you _watched_ two people grind against each other? It's dry sex on a dance floor!  
You're about as cute as a chihuahua. And I despise chihuahuas.

No, she's not mean - she's just strict, and she knows what she's doing. She's taught dance (ballet, ballroom, jazz, etc.) to some of the best dancers in the world. I'm lucky to have her as my teacher.  
Ugh, you think I don't know that? Every time I see any show with a girl in a tutu, I feel like puking.  
I... dunno. I chose to do dance, because it always looked so beautiful, and... I like it, a lot. But I think I'd put any daughter I had into ballet for only a few years, and then let her switch to ballroom. Ballroom is so fun!

I just don't understand. It's creamy, cold goodness just melts in your mouth and it's so _yummy_...  
Yes, everything about you is offensive to me. But what are your friends like? You haven't said much, and I've told you about mine (mostly)!  
Water so IS under ice cream. Ask ANY ONE.

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _What I say?! I only said she was awesome... You took it the wrong way._

It's just interesting. Very interesting. Whoa, whoa, I _have _a life, Toots. Trust me on that one. And I don't think I like it very much that you just called yourself a slut; you just like dancing... a lot. And therefore dance almost anything - can you do that Spanish stuff I see on TV?  
I... you mistake _everything _I say. Le sigh. Look, I _know _it's sex on the dance floor - I've just never thought about it that way very much. And yes I _have _watched two people grind; it's also been done to me various times which was cool and not cool all in one.  
Heh, it's alright if you're not ready to admit your feelings, Toots.

Mean and strict are the same thing in my book. But if she's taught that much dancers who've made it big, she might just be awesome.  
I feel like puking when I watch those reality TV shows - Paris's My New BFF? I'd rather gouge my eyes out than watch that.  
I think I know you like dancing a lot - just look at your email. But I think it's cool, you liking it, I mean. Is ballroom those dances in which you glide all over the room in those fancy dresses or am I just confused...?

My friends.... are all idiots.  
There's the Dead Last who's an idiot and loud and annoying... Yet he somehow manages to surprise people by saying something smart every other month. Then there's the Mega Manwhore who loves to check girls out, flirt, fuck and everything that has to do with the ladies (though, he does other things, yet not as often). And... The Emo Asshole is just quiet and coldhearted smartass and crap like that - but, something not very much but me and the other two know: he can sometimes be a total typical guy. As in... he blanks out, goes slowmo and he _laughs_. When you hear babies crying, it's because that Emo Douche just laughed.

There - I just gave you enough info on my friends... Now it's _your _turn; other than dancing, what else do you do?

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _You are still a slug._

...Why do _you_ care if I call myself a slut? And yes - that's Latin ballroom. I don't do much, but I adore the Argentine tango. It's so _hot_.  
Okay, you're really weird. What guy _doesn't_ like being grinded on?  
And it's alright if you're a chihuahua, Jailbait.

She _is_ awesome. You have no idea how excited I was when my mom told me that she and Kurenai were old friends, and that she'd be teaching me... I think I may have started crying. And then Piglette and I met, first class, and that started our bff-ness. And then I met the others, and... yeah. That's my life.  
Please don't talk to me about Paris Hilton. She gives females a bad name.  
Oh, ballroom... Well, there's two types - Standard and Latin (like I said earlier; Latin is that Spanish stuff). I prefer Latin to Standard; Standard is... I dunno, colder?

You sound like your friends are the bane of your existence. I would like to give them my thanks. :D  
And... I dunno. Shopping, playing mediator between my parents, school, and more dance? I really don't have time to do much...

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Meh, whatever you say._

Because. My mother did plenty of that when she was still alive - saying she was a slut for sleeping with... that man (read: my father) while still knowing he was bad for her. And all that other stuff I don't like remembering. I guess it's just a thing I developed - I don't like hearing girls/women talking so low about themselves. Heh, I won't comment of the Argentine tango being hot - it'll save me from being called a slug... or a chihuahua again.  
No, _you're _weird - but it's okay, I like it. Candii, I _do _like grinding just not all that much - I got traumatized that one time I went to the club. After that grinding was never the same again; but before that grinding was _the bomb.  
_Don't worry, Toots, I know you still like me either way.

...Can I ask you something - why are girls so emotional?  
Please don't kill me through the internet.  
I mean, you said you 'may have started crying' and that may have just been something to say; but that just reminded me of that question.  
Paris Hilton sucks. A lot. And she gets on my nerves.

Oh, no. My friends make me laugh a lot - because they're all idiots and they can talk complete crap about each other to their faces. Me included, of course.  
...You're parents argue a lot?

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _You know it's true._

Wow. Harsh. I... don't really know what to say. And why would I get mad about you saying anything about the Argentine tango? It _is_ hot.  
Oh, trauma. Do tell, I enjoy hearing about other's misfortune.  
I dunno... I might like you more if you weren't a chihuahua.

I- We- I don't even know how to explain that one. We just ARE.  
It was just something I had _wanted_ - something I wanted so much it _hurt_. And being emotional is... I dunno, it makes sense?  
I agree. She's... yeah. She exists to grate my nerves.

See, _that_ is something I don't understand! How can guys talk crap to each other's faces, and not get killed? When girls talk crap, _bad things_ happen. And bitch fights abound.  
Yeah, they do.

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Nah, I just play along with you to make you feel better._

Meh, don't say anything - or you can not call yourself names? Because you already think I'm a perv and a manslut and take everything I say to be something completely different. And yes, it _is _hot.  
... Let's just say two guys, drunk as fuck, and grinding on each other is _not _something I would have liked to see. Thank god I didn't know them.  
But, Toots, I'm _not _a chihuahua. I'm a guy.

But... why? I mean is there some sort of gene - some cell girls have that guys don't? I mean, when I see girls crying their pretty little eyes out over breaking a nail (this happened once. I swear.) I just freeze up and wonder why it's such a big deal.  
I always wanted to make a cake. Don't laugh at me. But I'm serious - I used to watch the food channel with my mother (that quality time, bonding crap) and the weekend we were going to bake one, I got... _in trouble_ and when I got out she was in the hospital. I never made that cake. And it's something I want to do. But I don't get emo about it... much.  
I vote we take her out.

Well. It's like the girls being emotional thing - it's a a thing, you know? I mean, we do end up arguing and crap but in the next five minutes we're already making jokes again.  
I'm sorry to hear that, Toots.

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _Uh-huh, and that's why you keep whimpering every time I threaten to not talk to you. ;)_

O-kay then, I won't. I may call myself a slut once in a while, but my self-respect is through the roof. :D  
...I'm not going to say anything here, 'coz _I_ think that would be pretty funny.  
Sure you are, Jailbait.

I dunno - I just know that girls aren't afraid to _feel_. We might bitch and fight and hate each other and keep grudges forever, but... I actually honestly have no idea. I think it might be a side-effect ofct that we're the ones that carry children.  
... Maybe... one day, if you're _not_ an ass, I can teach you to bake a cake? It's not that hard, and even though Her Shyness is better at it then I am, I'm not half bad.  
I thought you didn't wan't to go back to jail. We can't take her out unless you want to go back to jail. Unless we don't get caught, in which case we get off scot-free. ;) I think half the world wants to see her go, anyways.

I guess so. It's just a _thing_.  
It's fine. I try not to think about it.

Anyways, on another note; I'm worried about Superstar. She's being... weird. I think it's her boyrfriend, but I'm not really sure. Could you check with your friends, and see if one of them got her, and if she's said anything? I think it's her boyfriend, but I - I dunno. And I'm kinda worried, because she's been sorta quiet and mopy. And it's not like her at all.  
So... yeah. Please?

-Candii, over and out :)

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa**: this is so fun. like, so fun. and my lack of grammar is allowed... because i am pretty.  
**les**: dude...dude....duuuuuuude. We did the _whole _thing... First, we were like: Whoa... Then we were like: WHOA! ... Then we were like:.... _whoa_.  
**sonya**: do we _need_ words (okay, okay, so we do. because words are cool. **_word_.**)? IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER YOU GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS. 90s boy bands & spice girls FTW. :D


	4. how to flirt like the world's gonna end

AGH, THIS IS SO FUN. (Sonya, you really ought to do one of these, soon!)  
**Disclaimer**: Yeah, still not ours.  
**Dedication**: To manic giggle-fits, bright-colour eyeliner, prom dresses, and lipgloss. Also to being bffs. Because it's fun. INDULGE US.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

To: runwaygoddes  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _good looks, bad intentions_

Hey there, Ms.

I'm sorry, I don't know your name yet - but you can call me K9. I spend most of my time working on cars, and talking to beautiful girls like you.

So, what's up?

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _well...don't you sound badass. i like that._

Well, hellow there, Mister.

Huh, it would seem like I don't know your name either, Stud. I'll allow you to call me Bombshell and I like shopping, dancing, and writing. But I don't mind chatting it up with hunks either.

How about _you _tell _me _what's up?

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _i hope you do_

Well, well, Stud, huh? That's a first. Never had a pretty girl tell me I'm attractive that easily. Thanks, Babe, I appreciate it.  
What do you like about said three things? For the project, you know, but I want to know them anyways. I take any chance I get to know gorgeous beings.

Do I sense some innuendo on those words, Babe?

-K9 ;]

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _oh, honey, i do._

Well, _Stud_, there's a first time for everything. Oh, honey, thank _you._ Winkwinkflirt.  
I like shopping because, c'mon, who _doesn't _like shopping? I get to try on pretty clothes, model for myself and then _buy _them. And I don't pay 'coz I use my dad's credit card. Dancing is something I've done since I was a little girl, and I love it sososo much. And writing's... I love writing because I get to control what's happening.  
But enough about me, let's talk about you.

Oh, Stud, I was hoping you did.

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _don't tell your boyfriend, he might get jealous_

Well then, _Babe,_ I think we have something to agree on. And _you_ are welcome.  
I'm not interesting. I don't do anything as sexy as dance. I just work on cars. And, 'sides, I'm the one writing the project. Shouldn't _you_ tell me more, Babydoll?

So, we both get that Scottie doesn't know.  
I clearly approve.

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _pfft, _what_ boyfriend? unless you can get jealous of yourself_

I suppose we do, Stud.  
Oh, but Honey, working on cars is _so sexy_. Take my heart, because that is _so hot_. Right, your writing project. What else would you like to know?

Clearly, we both approve and we're both on the same page.  
I like this. A lot.

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _hey girl, you got _attitude

Uh, anything? Hobbies, friends - just, whatever, you know?  
And dance _is_ sexy. It's about the sexiest thing I've ever seen. Want to dance together?

You've got balls, kid.  
Here's looking at you.

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _oh you know it, babe_

Well, I've just told you my hobbies. And I have four fabulous friends; Billboard Brow, Candii, Buns and Stutterbug. Sweetie, you've got to give me _something _or I'd just ramble useless things.  
Dance is amazing. Dance is love. Dance... yes, Dance _is _the sexiest thing I've ever seen too. You, me and dancing. I think my life would be complete if you'd do me that honor.

No, I believe I don't got balls. I think that's you, squirt.  
And here's to you, too.

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject:_ if speed's a pro, is inertia a con?_

I like useless rambling from pretty girls, it means I talk to them longer, but, uh, questions then, I guess?  
Birthday, favourite colour and why, favourite subject, favourite teacher, favourite artist?  
(I'm taking a guess here that you listen to a lot of Lady Gaga. She's hot as hell.)

Do you have any tattoos?  
I have two, and my left ear is pierced.

And, huh, you got guts, kid.  
I like that in a girl.  
But I gotta say, I'm not the squirt, love. You are.

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _how should i know? that's gibberish right there._

Oh, do you really? Huh, that's a first; usually I'm told to shut up by my ex-boyfriends and such. I think I'm going to like this, then.  
My birthday is September 23rd, my favorite color is purple simply because it's amazing and lively and epic (my nails are purple, my toes are too, and my eyeliner is purple. Dig on that, Stud.). My favorite subject is English and Arts, my favorite teacher is Asuma-sensei because he's awesome and I think he's a pothead. Which makes him incredibly funny and epic.  
Oh, baby, it's like you've known me all your life. Lady Gaga is my idol. And she _is _hot as hell. Sexy, even. Oh yesss. (I also listen to 3OH!3, The Beatles... I'm still a Backstreet Boys fangirl at heart...and Techno, pretty much.)

I don't have any tattoos. Yet.  
Oh, you do? That is so _hot_. What and where? (Don't even get me started on your piercing. Mmm.)

I got brains and the power to nag, too, hun. And I'm not a kid, excuse you.  
Well. I might just have to show more of my guts, won't I? Wink.  
Are you calling me short? You're calling me short.

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _it's lyrics babe - Owl City's The Tip Of The Iceberg. check it out, you might like it_

Hey, babydoll, if they tell you to shut up, they don't appreciate the girl you are. I like your rambling, it's cute, like you.  
My birthday is July 7th, I'm going to be twenty. I will forever rub that fact in The Prick's face; that I'm older then him. I love watching his blood pressure rise while the crazy old bat (Anko) is teaching, it's hilarious. Purple toenails... how flexible are you? (Okay, I'm trying not to creep you out, but it's hard. Am I allowed to make dirty jokes?)  
You think she's hot, too? ... Threesome, anyone?  
(And my mouth gets ahead of my brain, once again.)

Any piercings?  
My sister works at a tattoo parlour. I have one on my bicep, and one... somewhere else. ;)

Babe, you're more then a full year younger then me. You're still a kid.  
You don't seem short to me. You kind of seem like a model, compliment totally intended.

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _oh, huh. i'll check that out, then. must be good..._

Oh gosh, you make me blush like Stutterbug does. Stud, I think if you were in front of me, I might just tackle you into a hug.  
The Prick? Who's he... friend of yours, I presume. Heh, I love making Billboard Brow's blood pressure rise up a couple of notches too. It's way too fun to be called legal. Yeah, purple toenails. And let me tell you, love, I'm _very _flexible. (Oh, honey, it's alright. I've been holding out too... didn't want to seem _too _promiscuous. And you're only allowed if I am.)  
I think she's sexy as hell. Threesome, huh? We'll just see about that... I have some fluffy purple handcuffs I'd like to use (they were a gift from Candii).  
(Just let your mouth do the talking, love.)

I have a lot of ear piercings; two on each lobe, two on my left and right cartilage and one on my belly button!  
Does she really? Maybe you can get her to give me a free tattoo soon. Hah. Ooh, on your bicep?! What is it?! And... Where else... Tell. Me. :O

Honey, age means nothing; I'm probably more wise than _you _are.  
Oh, the compliment is fully accepted and gratified. I think I'm going to keep you. Lessthanthree.  
(By the way, modeling's _going _to be my career. Soon, you'll grab a Victoria's Secret catalog and when you see the sexiest girl. You'll know I made it.)

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _it is good, but meteor shower makes me think of you_

I would seriously enjoy that. You probably look beautiful when you blush.  
He's just a friend. Who is a prick with a ten-foot-pole stuck up his ass. But he's not important, as he is a prick. (Good, make all the dirty jokes you want, babe, I enjoy them from girls. I think it's hot.)  
...Marry me, seriously. Purple handcuffs? I want you.  
(Are you sure about that? I don't want to scar you for life...)

Why'd you get your piercings?  
And yeah, she does do tattoos. She's scary about her equipment, though... The crazy bitch nearly bit my head off when I touched her ink gun, once.  
I have four claw marks on my right bicep... and the other one is my secret, sorry Babydoll.

I'm sorry, love, but you just haven't lived as long as me.  
And you can keep me as long as you don't use a leash.  
(I don't doubt that.)

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _i listened to meteor shower...you have my heart now_

Would you really? Oh my gosh, I'm blushing again - _stop _that, I'm going to die from so much blood flowing up my head.  
Sounds like he's one of your good ol' friends, heh. Poor thing, you should take him out and make him party all night, that'll cure him. (I will, just as long as you don't get _hard-headed_, love. I think girls are pretty too. You're hot, though. Wink.)  
I do. Where's my ring? Of course purple handcuffs, I'm _kinky_. And, baby, I _know _you want me. But it's okay, I want you too. ;D

I got them... because I like piercings? I just... I don't know...  
Your sister sounds scary. This makes me be glad that I'm an only child. And I'm also glad she _didn't _bite your head off; I'm taking that as _my _duty.  
Oh god, that sounds _hot_. _You're _hot. Well then, _keep _it a secret. For now. I'll find out soon. And it's not like _I _don't have _my _secrets. So we're even, Stud.

Babe, you're acting as if you're _old _and _wrinkly_. You're just gonna be twenty. And you're just gonna get all the hotter.  
Oh I'll keep you forever, just not on a leash... on _handcuffs_.  
(You better not, it'd wound my poor ego.)

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _that was kind of my aim_

Hey now, don't die! That would be a tragedy that would deprive the world of a beautiful, beautiful girl, and there just aren't enough of those incredible creatures!  
...Now _there's_ an idea. I've never seen that Prick drunk before - at least, not hardcore drunk. He's a control freak.  
It'll have to be a virtual ring until you're legal. I don't want your parents to chop me into tiny itty-bitty pieces... I think everyone wants me.  
We're a match made in heaven.

She is scary.  
And I would love it if you bit my head off.  
You? Secrets? Lay 'em on me, Babydoll, we got a looooong time.

I _like_ that idea, but I don't think I'd be the one in handcuffs... i'm not really the submissive type, sorry babe.  
(I wouldn't want to hurt you, even if I could.)

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _well you have a nice aim because you got a perfect mark_

Oh I won't, I got you to give me some sort of cyber-CPR, right? And ohmygosh, stop it! I'm going to have to repay you for all this ego-boosting talk, mister.  
See, that will be _epic_. Get him shitfaced! And your troubles will be at ease. And even the most level-headed drunk can get shitfaced after a while.  
Will you stop reminding me that I'm seventeen? It's kind of depressing and it brings my mojo down. My dad doesn't count? He's... Okay, so he's a problem. Hah. Do they really? Huh. I lay claim.  
We are. I've found my other half. :D

She's terrifying, but I bet she's pretty. Which makes up for it.  
I _will _bite your head off. Don't _tempt _me.  
Yes, me, secret. And I won't lay anything on you until _you _lay 'em on _me_. Stud, I'm all ears...eyes... start spilling.

Oh? Really? And what makes you think _I _am? I think _you'll _be the one on handcuffs... or.... we'd have to see, won't we?  
(Aw, you're such a sweetie. You're making me want to jump you all the more.)

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _i do try. normally, my aim's not so great._

Repay me? That's not so hard. Smirrrrk.  
Love, you don't know the Prick. We've tried _everything_. Actually, it's not even funny anymore. He's totally gay. Dead-Last and Sharkbait always make fun of him for it. And then there's Whitey - he and the Prick get along pretty okay.  
I'm sorry, I can't help reminding you! The thought of your father scares me. And you can lay claim, but I think you might have to fight for it... ;)

My sister... I dunno. I can't see her as anything but my sister.  
'Pretty' and that crazy bitch never go in the same sentence. Ever.  
Go for it, babe.  
May I remind you that I'm supposed to be the one getting to know _you_? But, huh, I guess I'll tell you that it's a mythical creature, and done on my lower body.

Yes, we would have to see. Especially because you're probably a lot smaller then I am.  
(You want to jump me? Hot.)

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _well...i've never picked up a ball in my life?_

It isn't? Hm, I'm having a hard time thinking of _how _to repay you. Hah.  
I'm rather glad I don't know him, if I did, he'd have a lip piercing (or whatever other crazy piercing there is), some tattoos and he'd be loose by now. I don't believe he's gay... just... misunderstood. Or... well. Yeah. Whitey and the Prick need to get laid. Pronto.  
Well, I told you already, age is nothing but a number! Winkkk. My dad is a big lameo - I stopped listening to his rants a long time ago. I _have _laid claim; and don't worry, I won't have to fight for long... girls are naturally scared of me for some odd reason. Unless... Huh. Well.

No, I'm serious, she must be pretty. I'd like to meet her.  
You just say that because you're her younger brother. Duh.  
I will. You'll see.  
May I remind you that it's only fair that we get to know each other _together_? Your lower body... Um... I have three ideas of where it can be... and as for the mythical creature... please don't tell me it's a centaur - those are _scary_. But, since you shared, I'll share too; I have two other piercings I didn't mention, and they're on my lower body, too.

Huh, first my age, now my height? Stud, you're gonna have to be punished for this soon enough. I might have to _arrest _you.  
(Of course I want to jump you, who wouldn't?)

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _...have you ever played dodgeball, babe?_

Babe, there are _lots_ of ways to repay me.  
Oh, god, don't - don't put that mental image in my head. The Prick, with a lip ring and tattoos... That is pretty much fucking shudder worthy. Please don't _ever_ make me think of that again. _Ever_.  
You are completely right. I have a horrible feeling that this all comes back to the Dead-Last, somehow...  
Unless _what_, babe?

I don't want you to meet her. She'd never let me live it down - and she'd give you enough blackmail to keep me in hiding for life.  
Like I said. Go for it. I dare you.  
HELL NO. I don't do centaurs, sorry babe. Having something like a half-naked man-horse tattooed on my ass would be the most awkward thing _ever_.  
Well, well, little vixen, aren't you?

Babydoll, I am _waiting_ for the day that you arrest me. That will be the best day of my life. ;)  
(Good point, I am attractive. But look who's talking.)

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _um, doctor's note...?_

Hm, I think I have _something _in mind.  
Haha, oh wow. You're so melodramatic, love. I was just joking about the piercing... maybe the tattoo will work, though? Who knows. I still think you should loosen him up - you have more friends, they can help. And maybe then, the Prick won't be such... a prick. The Dead-Last can help you - he seems like fun, just by his nickname.  
Unless _you _try to get at _them_. Then I'd just watch, maybe - _maybe_. Or I might just leave. It depends.

Aw! But it'd be like a friendship made in heaven! And _why _wouldn't she let you live it down? No, wait, don't answer that, I know. Haha. Blackmailing is fun. A lot of fun.  
And like _I _said. I will. You'll see.  
WHOA, WHAT?! YOUR ASS?! I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. Then the mythical creature.... It isn't a _harpy _is it?  
Maybeeee, it depends of what you're thinking. But I _might _just be one. Wink.

Stud, I'm _thinking _about the day I'll arrest you, and just _what _I might do to you. It'd be like a dream come true.  
(Oh my, it seems like you _breathe _out compliments. It's decided, _you're mine._)

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _that's cheating_.

Really. What is this _something_ of which you speak? I want to know, so I don't die from an intense sensory overload.  
I'm not melodramatic. If you knew the Prick, you'd understand. Meh, he and I have known each other since middle school... and he and the Dead-Last have known each other even longer. He's just an angsty little bitch, most of the time.  
Hey, hey, hey, I wouldn't want you to leave! That would be such a pity!

That's kind of what I'm worried about. My sister and you, scheming together... I would never be the same. Never. She wouldn't let me live it down... because she just wouldn't. She's a bitch like that.  
Suuuure you will, babe, suuuure.  
My sister is a harpy. No way.  
Huh, but you're still underage, so maybe not... Where would it be, then, Ms. Vixen?

Sensory. Overload.  
(I breathe out compliments? Not as much as you deserve them.)

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _it's not if you got a pretty face to protect._

Yes. Really. That _something _is for you to find out, love. Huh, I think I'd _like _to hear what type of sensory overload induced thoughts you're producing.  
Are you _sure_? Because you sounded kinda dramatic to me, sexy. If I knew the Prick, he wouldn't be so much of a 'prick' anymore. Aw! You guys are all practically best friends - how _adorable_! I've known the Ice Bitch since we were... five I think, and Billboard Brow, her too.  
Well... Huh. He needs to get laid. Seriously. _NAOW.  
_If you wouldn't want me to leave, then you wouldn't really be doing inappropriate things with other pretty-ladies, would you?

Why worry your pretty little head over it, when you can just enjoy it! And of course you'd be the same... just a bit enhanced and such.  
Did you know that bitch means female dogs, dogs bark, bark is part of a tree, tree is nature and nature is _beautiful? _I think your sister might be beautiful too; I'm glad we agree. :D  
I will. And I'd show you, and do it now. But. I don't think it'd be the same via Cyber-World.  
Okay.... A mermaid? Is there any other mythical creature that I'm missing. I think it could be a mermaid. Mermaids are hot.  
Honey, just because I'm underage (which, by the way, you have seemed to mentioned. Again.) doesn't mean I can't get what I want. How about you guess, babe?

Hah, really, now. Care to share this sensory overloading?  
(Ooh. You're good, you're _really _good. I like that. A lot.)

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _pretty? pretty is for little girls, babe. you're beautiful._

Sweetheart, you do _not_ want to know what goes on in my head. It's too twisted, even for you.  
It's not dramatic, seriously. You'd understand if you met him, babe. ...We're not best friends. Half the time, I don't even like him. Oh, yeah, your friends... What are they like? Dead-Last says that the girl he's talking to is amazing... *eye roll* He won't stop going on about her, and how sweet she is... Snow White, or something?  
That's another thing I really don't want to think about.  
Don't worry, I'm saving myself for you. There is no one else for me.

I don't need enhancement, babe.  
Did you know that nature is beautiful, beauty is rare, rare is hard to find, hard to find is special, special is just like you.  
Huh, true. Want to meet for coffee, sometime? The Cyber-World just isn't as fun as the real world is.  
Whether it's even there or not is my secret.  
Heh, I think we both know exactly where I think it is. And I mention your youngness because I have to remind myself that you're off-limits.

Sensory overload? What'choo talkin' about? ;)  
(I am good. But not good enough to be worthy of you.)

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _my, my. aren't you ever so charming._

Hey, Hey. I'll be the judge of that. I've seen twistier things - I bet I can handle this.  
Pfft. Admitting to your bromances is good once in a while, love. Besides, if you wouldn't of liked him, you wouldn't be sticking around. My friends are...weirdos. There's the Ice Bitch who's a bitch and sarcastic and snarky. Then there's Stutterbug who is quiet and shy and adorable. Buns is into sharp things and sports and things like that. And Billboard Brow is like the Ice Bitch only.... less. And she has a boyfriend. That bitch. OH! THAT'S HER! THAT'S HER! THAT'S STUTTERBUG! OHOH! THIS IS ME FLAILING! ...Tell your friend to play nice, or I can teach him about a different method of castrating than the one doctors use. kthxz.  
HAH! Right. I believe you.  
Are you really? Is it natural of me to not take this seriously?

Are you sure you don't? Maybe you do...  
Oh, okay. You did it again. I'm blushing. Yeah, I'm blushing - Kakashi-sensei just asked me if I was alright. You... You... I have no words. No words.  
I'd like that... So long as _I'm not buying_. Because Billboard Brow's boyfriend almost never pays. I'm almost traumatized at watching her put up with that. But anyway... just tell me the date, time and place, honey.  
I bet all I am worth that it _is _there.  
I thought so, but sorry to burst your bubble, Stud. It's not _there_. I'm not off-limits. That's just you making it hard on yourself. ;D

....Oh, okay. You just confused me now.  
(Huh, is that so? Again, I'll be the judge of that.)

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _you're some kind of wonderful_

Eh, I dunno. The true twisted-ness of how my brain works isn't, and I quote, "something to wish on my worst enemies", end quote. Thank you, Dead-Last. *eye roll*  
Bromance. Really. Thankfully, I'm secure enough in my own sexuality to admit to my bromances... But I just... just... not with the Prick. Just, no. Maybe with the Dead-Last, or Shark-bait, but not with the Prick.  
I'll be sure to tell him not to hurt her. As it is, Dead-Last is so scared of getting killed by the relatives of girls' he might accidentally hurt, he's pretty careful about how he treats the fairer sex.  
You're the only girl on my mind, and I'm insulted that you would think differently. Insulted!

Babe, I can _show_ you - oh, wait, I can't. You're underage. _Damn it_.  
Heh, tell Kakashi to stop reading those damn books. And I'm quite proud that I can make you speechless. I have a feeling that takes talent. (I'm totally willing to kiss the words right out of your mouth.)  
What the fuck? What kind of guy makes a girl pay, _especially_ when they're dating? Tell her to dump him. It's not cool. Eh, are you free tomorrow, at, say four-thirty? I get out at four-fifteen, and, uh, do you know the Magic Bean? It's right on the corner of University Drive and Sixteenth Ave. Is that alright?  
Heh, you'll just have to find out, won't you?  
...Damn, now I just want you _more_.

Never mind, it's hard to explain. Or maybe it's just that my head is too busy buzzing with all the things you've said.  
(It is so. Frankly, no guy is worth a girl like you.)

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _turn the lights off, carry me home._

Hah, I bet it's not _that _bad. Innuendos, sex fantasies, _wet _dreams and the sort. What else is new? I mean, I sit around immature high school seniors on a daily basis in school, a college big man's naughty thoughts won't bother me.  
Ooh, you know, I'm curious to meet these friends of yours. Shark Bait sounds.... alluring and the Prick! I want to meet him - there's something in me that tells me I can change him! I am the reincarnation of a pixie. I can _help_!  
The Dead Last sounds adorable in some way. I don't think he'd hurt Stutterbug. Intentionally, anyway. He seems like a dork, too.  
Am I really. Again, it's kinda hard for me to believe this. Why would a hot college big man waste around for a girl like me? And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you.

Really. Stopped by my age? Are you sure it's _my age_. Or are you just... all talk? Huh.  
Hah, don't worry, the Ice Bitch and me tend to tell him all the time. I'm sure you are - and you _should_ because that doesn't happen very often. It does take talent, since I _always_ have something to say. (I'd like to see you do that.)  
An idiot like him. He's a total douche bag; I hate him. And we've told her a bajillion times to dump him but... Forehead Girl is so damn stubborn. Well, Stud, you're in luck. I _am _free tomorrow at four-thirty and I _do _know the Magic Bean. I'll be there. But the question is... will _you?  
_I guess I do. I'm anxious now.  
I like that - keep wanting me, love. You might just get me.

Is this a good thing, or a bad thing? Did... I break you...? Oh gosh.  
(Maybe. Maybe not. I think you're worthy, though.)

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _always, i know, you'll be at my show_

Quickly, I will say that if Blink-182 were a chick, I'd marry her in a heartbeat. Always and All The Small Things are my favourite songs.  
And babe, I don't think naughty. I go _way_ past naughty.  
Shark-bait just _bitches_. All the time; especially about - well, everything. Babe, if you could change the Prick, that would mean I'd have to share you. And I'm not ready to do that.  
The Dead-Last won't hurt her. He's a good guy - awkward, and reeeeally dense, but he won't hurt her.  
You're not sorry for insulting me. Why would you be? And the reason you have my interest is because you have a _brain_. Most girls I know have air and lint for brains, and they're boring.

Sorry babe, it's just your age. I don't want to get shot, or something. (However, I am willing to be swayed away from this.)  
Keep telling her - guys who don't pay for things on dates are the lowest of the low. Oh, you are free? Good. And of course I'll be there. What do you think I am, chicken?  
I like that I'm able to make you anxious.  
Heh, I think it'll be a mutual thing, kiddo.

I don't break so easy, don't worry.  
(Thanks, doll, I appreciate the sentiment.)

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _of course, i'll be your thrill_

I'd also like to quickly say that I am in love with Travis Barker. My room is filled with posters of him - _everywhere_. I love Adam's Song, I Miss You, All The Small Things and The Rock Show.  
Even better. All these boys talk about is "DUDE. I BONED MY GIRLFRIEND LAST NIGHT. IN MY CAR." I think I need a new dosage of information.  
Haha, Shark Bait sounds like someone that I'd love to tease. Oh, honey, you won't have to _share _me. I'll just find someone that will be able to make the Prick... not be a prick. I'd just kill him if that task was up to me.  
Now I'm sure he won't, thank you for reassuring me, babe. But still - gotta be prepared.  
I _am _sorry for insulting you. It hurt my soul to do so. Pfft, of course I have a brain. Knowledge is power. And I value my opinions, like, a lot.

Why would anyone do something to you because of our age difference? That'd be a crime. (Well, good. I'm up for some swaying; especially since I get to keep you in the end.)  
I _will _keep telling her. Until she _does it_. Because I hate that guy and I will kill him the next time I am around him. Yes, I am free. And I'm glad you will be there. I don't think you're a chicken... chickens are females, aren't they? You're more of a _cock_.  
I'm wondering what _else _you can make me feel. Hm.  
Then if it's a mutual thing, let's not keep each other waiting, hm? (I am _not _a kid.)

Good, I might just end up crying if you break. I'm told I'm too much to handle.  
(It's my pleasure, Stud.)

-Bombshell

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar; runwithskizzers; moonsightdarklight  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _MAJOR PROBLEM. INO IS FLAILING._

SO.

MY BITCHES.

PROBLEM.

I AM MEETING MY PENPAL. WHO HAPPENS TO BE A HUNK. TOMORROW AT FOUR THIRTY. I NEED SOMETHING TO WEAR. CLOTHES. MAKEUP. ACCESSORIES.  
HELP MEEEE. HELP ME _NAOW_!

Lessthanthree,  
Ino

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _i like thrills. will you leave me roses by the stairs?_

That's cool. I don't blame you, it's _Travis Barker_.  
I remember back then... God, no one has a brain, then.  
Babe, he already asked me to share you, and I told him to back the fuck off. I don't like sharing. Heh, watching you kill the Prick would be seriously amusing...  
Of course. My sister's a crazy bitch, but if someone broke her heart, I'd kill them, flat-out, no questions asked, the END. It's part of my _duty_ as younger brother.  
Heh, don't worry about it, doll. My skin's thicker then that. And thank god, do you know how painful it is dealing with brainless girls?

My mother, for one, would probably find a way to castrate me if I should ever hurt your "poor, underage heart!" I have a healthy respect for females, _just_ because of my mother and my sister. They're terrifying. (Heh, I'm totally up for being kept.)  
Good for you, babe. He's probably going to hurt her in, oh, the next few months. How long have they been dating? Oh, lovie's got a bite - I like that. Chicken's are stupid, anyways.  
See you tomorrow, then. I call you 'kiddo', because once, my sister forced me to watch Breakfast At Tiffany's. I've never been the same, but I thought calling the love of your life 'kiddo' was... yeah, weird, and kind of fitting.

Like I said; I don't break so easy. And having one more balsy girl in my life is probably a good thing - it'll keep me in line.  
(Pleasure... dirty girl.)

-K9

* * *

To: runwaygoddes; cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; runwithskizzors  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _OMFG, WHY MUST YOU GET THE GOOD ONES?!_

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, PIGLETTE?!  
JUST... JUST... OMFG, I'M COMING OVER. RIGHT NOW.

I'm also bringing my sexy black patent leather heels. Yes, the four-inch ones that make our legs look eight million miles long.  
You are _so_ damn lucky we share a shoe size.

ttfn,  
Karin

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; cherrylipssuperstar; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwithskizzors  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Ino, all you _do_ is flail_

Uh... wear that sea-teal blue dress-shirt-thing (the really flowy one with the pretty beads all over it) that you stole from Sakura ages ago... It matches your eyes. And black leggings. And, yes, Karin's pretty heels.  
Yeah.

Go easy on the make-up, you don't want to look like a whore.

Sincerely,  
Hina-chan

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; moonsightdarklight; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwithskizzors  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _I hope you flail into the fountain on 15th Street_

BITCH.

I WANT MY DRESS BACK.

But anyways, Hina-chan's got it down. :)  
Blow him away, Piggie-chan!

Cha!  
Sak

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; cherrylipssuperstar; dancelikenooneiswatching; moonsightdarklight  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Happy. Happy. Joy. Joy._

Oh. Wait, wait, wait.

Excuse me.

You must be confusing me with someone who _cares_. Don't you get dates every other week?!

Stop spamming me with your flailing, Pork-Chops.

Later,  
Tenten

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _of course, i have to show you that i care through surprises_

Oh _yes_. Travis Barker. My future husband. The future daddy of my babies. The other half of my lonely heart.  
No, no one does. These idiots get on my nerves. And they think leaving me notes in my locker makes me swoon. Pfft. I like direct approach, 'thanks!  
Aw, this makes me want to meet him and give him a hug! And I'd give you more than hugs for laying down your claim over me. Unlike most girls, I don't find that offensive - I find that sexy. There's a possible chance of me getting a death sentence if I kill the Prick. Most pricks tend to be veryveryvery good looking.  
Oh my - your protectiveness on your sister is... _amazing_. Is there no end to your amazingness?  
Hah, I'm glad. I might get really offensive at some points. And I bet I do; there are fangirls here. For _any guy _with a pretty face. All they do is degrade themselves and it's so insulting to us other girls.

Hehe. I think I'd like to hang out with your family. They seem so... cool and on my status. I'm glad you know how to treat girls. Guys should really follow your lead, maybe then we'd have a prettier world. GO GREEN. Haha. (I'm totally up for keeping.)  
Oh my god, you really think so? It looks like I'm going hunting, then. Ugh, all the more reason to hate him. I... I think they've been going out for about nine months. Of course I do, and I'm glad you like it; you might see more of it soon. Chickens... are weird. And cross the road for no apparent reason.  
Great - I'm already excited for it! Haha, your sister... she might just become my new idol. And calling the love of your life kiddo _is _a bit weird... Wait a minute...

I like that you want me in your life, Stud. Usually my balsy-ness makes boys run away.  
(Hah, but you're a dirty boy. How about we be dirty together?)

-Bombshell

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar; runwithskizzers; moonsightdarklight  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _BECAUSE I AM AMAZING. DUH._

NO I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING YOU, ICE BITCH!  
YES. YES. YES. COME OVER. RIGHT NAOW!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!  
I get to borrow _Thee Boots_?! OH, SOMEONE HAS HEARD MY PRAYERS. THEY'VE HEARD! I'VE BEEN HEARD!

I am going to look Drop. Dead. Gorgeous.

Lessthanthree,  
Ino

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight; dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar; runwithskizzers  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _I DO NOT. HINA. I DO OTHER THINGS, TOO!_

Really? D'you think I'll look pretty? I trust your words, Hina! I'm _so _wearing that, then!

Of course I'll go easy on the makeup! I want to look pretty, not Next-Lay material!

Lessthanthree,  
Ino

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; runwithskizzers; dancelikenooneiswatching; moonsightdarklight  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _I hope your forehead kills your boyfriend._

BITCH.

YOU'LL GET YOUR DRESS BACK WHEN I FEEL LIKE GIVING IT BACK.

She does, doesn't she? You gotta love her!  
I WILL FOREHEAD! I WILL!

Lessthanthree,  
Ino

* * *

To: runwithskizzers; dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight  
From: runwaygoddess

Subject: _YOUR SARCASM ISN'T NEEDED BITCH._

EXCUSE ME.

Your jealousy needs some controlling. I mean, like, seriously, Buns. And I _don't _get dates every other week, betch!

I'll stop spamming when I _feel _like it. :D

Lessthanthree,  
Ino

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDosOut  
Subject: _the night will go on, my little windmill_

Dagger to the heart. I thought I was your other half. Playing with people's emotions isn't nice, doll.  
Eh, I just don't like other guys hitting on the girls I care about. Yeah, I'm a little more then possessive. But I've got my reasons, and girls aren't pieces of meat.  
And, naaah, if you killed him, the Prick's brother would probably just be happy that it was a _chick_ who killed him. That's how desperate that poor guy is.  
...Damn, I think I'm actually turning red. I'm not so amazing, kiddo.  
Fangirls... They're kind of funny. _This_ is the only time the Prick comes in useful - girls are attracted to him in droves. It's hilarious.

If I hadn't learned how to treat girls by now (with the family I have), I'd have to be stupider then Dead-Last. And that's really, _really_ hard to do. Seriously, though... Give any guy to my mother for a week, and he'd be whipped into shape - manners, etiquette, everything.  
Nine months, huh... He's gonna dump her before the end of the year. How I know this, don't ask. It's a guy thing. At least chickens taste good.  
...Griiiiiin.

Guys who can't handle balsy girls are stupid. Balsy girls are the only ones worth having.  
(I like that idea.)

-K9

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; runwithskizzors; cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _I HATE YOU_.

OPEN YOUR DAMN FRONT DOOR, OR I'M PICKING THE FUCKING LOCK AGAIN, BETCH.  
(And I will never let you wear my smexy heels again. It is _damn_ cold out here!)

ttfn,  
Karin

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwithskizzors; cherrylipssuperstar  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Would you two_ grow up_, please?!_

Tenten, Ino, stop fighting, please?

Yes, Ino, you'll look stunning in that (like _always_), so yes. Trust my colour sense, please and thank you!

And Ino, open the door for Karin, she just called me, and screamed general annoyance.

Sincerely,  
Hina-chan

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _WHY THE INSULTS, THOUGH, YOU SLORE!_

JEALOUS?! ME?! JEALOUS?!

OF WHAT?!

Oh wait! Of _you_?! I DON'T THINK SO. And you so _do _get dates every other week. Or is it _every week_?

I'll block you, betch!

HINA - SHE'S BEING MEAN AND ANNOYING. I MUST DEFEND MYSELF.

Later,  
Tenten

P.S. Don't do the stupid ponytail you're insistent on having. It won't go with your stupid outfit. There. Happy?

* * *

To:  runwaygoddess; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwithskizzers; moonsightdarklight  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _You two are such examples to the rest of us..._

Play nice (until you know there's no one watching.

Then bitch it out.)

Cha!  
Sak

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _true care, truth brings_

Oh my. I am _so _sorry. You have my _soul_, but Travis has part of my _heart. _But I'm thinking of giving you what's left of that heart to you. Because I like you.  
But he's not "other guys" he's your homeskillet biscuit. But it's alright, I wouldn't have been able to handle his heartbreak once I told him I was more into you. And I _like_ that you're possessive and more... Pieces... of... meat....? Um.... What...?  
Oh god... is the Prick _really _a virgin on _everything_? This is major - this is Code Red. Something must be done, Stud. It just _has _to.  
Aw, yes! Payback for all the times you've gotten me to blush! And you so are amazing. Kiddo.... that just got me to blush.  
Fangirls are annoying and I'd burn them all with a torch if I could lay my hands on one. Oh really... so he _is _attractive. Huh.

See, now I'm afraid... and kind of relieved. Because if the Dead Last is stupid... my poor Stutterbug is up for a challenge. Your mother is any girl's hero. She really is. She has my vote for The Next Best Thing.  
...He... is...? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. _Oh my god._ Billboard Brow is going to be _devastated_! And when Billboard brow is devastated, I go on a _mad rampage. _No, no, no. There is going to be a murder soon. When you hear that, you'll know it was me.  
Chickens are... yes, they taste good.  
...I got what you meant. I might just give you my heart as a whole. You're.... you're... I'm at a loss of words again.

Most guys are stupid. It's becoming rare to find one that actually means what he says.  
(I like it too.)

-Bombshell

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar;runwithskizzers; moonsightdarklight  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _I LOVE YOU TOO, MY LOVELY CONCUBINE_

I WILL ONCE YOU HOLD YOUR GODDAMN HORSES! I CAN'T FIND MY DAMN SLIPPERS, OKAY?! YOU KNOW I GET IN DEEP SHIT FOR WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE BAREFOOT.  
(But... but... but... _WAI?! _Karin that is so damn mean of you! It's not my fault it's almost winter wonderland!)

Lessthanthree,  
Ino

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight; dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar; runwithskizzers  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _I AM SO GROWN. IT'S HER THAT IS THE CHILD._

Hina-chan, it's _her _that is being childish and immature.

Oh thank you Hina! I shall never doubt you again!

Ugh! I told that skank to hold her damn horses! She's so immature, Hina! I swear!

Lessthanthree,  
Ino

* * *

To: runwithskizzers; dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _EXCUSE ME - YOU'VE CALLED ME _WHAT_?!_

YES YOU'RE JEALOUS! AND DROWN AT THE THOUGHT THAT IT'S OF _ME_.

I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WANTED TO BE ME, BUNS. IT'S OKAY, THOUGH. And just because guys _ask me out_ doesn't mean _I accept_. This guy is different. I know it!

And you can't block me! Your life is _nothing _without me!

HINA DON'T LISTEN TO HER! IT'S SHE WHO IS BEING OFFENSIVE! I NEED TO PROTECT MYSELF OR I'LL DIE IN A BARRAGE OF HER INSULTS!

Lessthanthree,  
Ino

P.S. AW! I knew you cared! I _knew it_. And I think you're right. Thanks a lot, doll.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwithskizzers; moonsightdarklight  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _your face is the example of WHAT NOT TO WEAR. BETCH._

I always play nice, Forehead. And when no one is around I'M GOING TO KILL THIS BUN-HAIRED BITCH.

Lessthanthree,  
Ino

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _i'll take one lift. your ride, best trip_

I would like that. Having your heart and soul seems like something special.  
...Homeskillet biscuit? Alright, whatever you say, doll. ...Some guys I know... consider girls nothing more then pieces of meat. It pisses me off, and makes me want to kill them (they are not my friends, to say the least). It's not cool. At all.  
Yeah. He's a virgin to _everything_.  
Heh, I was thinking that nickname might. And it weirdly suits you.  
He is attractive, but he's a Prick. For some reason, this makes the fangirls want him even _more_, which is creepy in itself, most of the time.

Something tells me this Snow White of yours is up for the challenge. Dead-Last just told me she's got a damn steely backbone, even if most people can't see it? Dead-Last is impressed by this. Dead-Last's stupid _brain_ is impressed by this. Be proud of your friend. Heh, I'll tell my mother you said that, and she'll probably start ranting about how you're _clearly_ a girl who deserves someone better then me. I'd have to agree with her.  
I shake my head. From what you've told me about him... yeahm you should probably get her ready for it. It'll most likely be cruel. God, I _hate_ guys like that.  
Hah, I enjoy making you speechless.

I mean what I say, most of the time.  
(Good. Because, - oh, shit, I have to get to work. See you tomorrow, kiddo.)

-K9

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight; runwithskizzors; cherrylipssuperstar; runwaygoddess  
From: danceliknooneiswatching  
Subject: _I AM NOT YOUR CONCUBINE, YOU DIRTY WHORE. P.S. GUYS, INO HAS FOUND THE PERFECT MAN. THIS IS _CLEARLY_ NOT FAIR._

Guys... Guys... he's perfect. Like, holy shit. PERFECT.  
Like, like, I don't even know how to explain it. If Ino did not have dibs on this man, I would probably jump him. Sakura, he's _your_ kind of man (well, sort of. But anyways. HINT HINT: DUMP THE CREEP).

Yeah, you know what? I'm attaching their back and forth emails, so you guys can read what I'm ranting about.  
Just... Just... READ, MERE MORTALS, AND GAPE AT HIS PERFECTION.  
(INO, STOP FUCKING JACKING MY LAPTOP. IT DESERVES BETTER!!! Oh, and Hina, prepare yourself. Half of it is verbal sex. And there's something about... yeah. Just read it. :D)

ttfn,  
Karin

* * *

To: cherrylipssperstar; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwaygoddess; runwithskizzors  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Holy Mother of God_.

Wow, for once, Karin is right. He sounds...  
Okay, there is no way he's real. No way! No male is that _nice_ and _perfect_ and _sweet_, and oh god, Ino, you were _talking_ about me?! Do you know how hard I'm _blushing_ right now?! Agh, Father is going to _kill_ me if he sees me like this!

Er... C'mon, Ino, Tenten, _please_ stop fighting!  
But... uh... What's a slore? I am confused.

blushblushblush... guys... why are college boys so much nicer then boys our age?

Sincerely,  
Hina-chan

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; cherrylipssuperstar; dancelikenooneiswatching; moonsightdarklight  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _I have called you a slore. I don't think you can stutter through the internet, betch._

I am not jealous. Nor will I ever be. Especially for someone like you.

Why in the world would I want to be you?! That'd be so blasphemous that there's no utter _words _to it. I mean, seriously. I'd lose all my Tenten hype and that's not cool. At all. So no, Glorious Boar, I don't want to be you. If you don't accept then why the hell do they keep asking; tch, imbeciles these days. TELL THAT STUPID GUY TO STOP ASKING ME FOR YOUR DAMN NUMBER, FUCK.

Ugh, if I don't block you it's because Karin the Betch would hunt me down or something. Seriously.

HINA! I KNOW YOU BELIEVE ME! SCREW THE PIG! SHE ROLLS AROUND IN MUD!

Later,  
Tenten

P.S. It's not even like that, idiot. But whatever, I am glad you have agreed. Last thing I need is to hang around someone who... can't dress. Bahaha.

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwithskizzers; moonsightdarklight  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _Not my type... _

Okayokay, I will bite and say he's _nice_ and all...  
But he's so inappropriate. My mouth would be flapping like a fish.  
He's defs Piggie-chan's type. Flirty, wise-ass, et cetera et cetera.  
And I'm not going to dump Sai-kun! He's nicer to me than Thunder, who is a complete _prick_, who is apparently fangirled three-fourths of the way to death.  
Okay, so I don't like paying for myself on dates, but no one's perfect.

Right?

Cha!  
Sak

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _always, i know_

It _is _something special. I'm kinda wondering if you're up for it.  
Pshyeah! C'mon, you've heard of that; he's your broslice. The guys that treat girls like that are epic douche bags. AND THE ONES THAT GO GAY ON YOU SUCK MAJOR MONKEY BALLS.  
Oh that poor, poor thing. He needs to liven up. Like, right now. It's not even funny anymore - what is _wrong _with that guy?  
Everything you _say _to me makes me blush. I'm starting to believe you're not good for my health. _How _does it suit me, love?  
Hah, I thought so. Girls these days; but I bet my money he's a sweetie at heart... Boys are kinda screwed up like that.

Oh, yes. Snow White is like our mama - getting her angry is blasphemous. No lie. She will make us cry andandand... it's scary. The Dead Last seems to be impressed by the simplest things. He sounds adorable - I might just want to pull his cheeks. Your mother might be right - you might not deserve me or whatever. But does it count if I don't really mind...? Scratch that, I don't mind; you sound better than any guy I ever dated.  
Ugh! I'm going on a killing spree. The other girls can take care of her... wait, no. Stutterbug can take care of her; Buns, Ice Bitch and me are going to be too busy handling that bastard. I hate them too. You know what else I hate? I hate guys whom you really liked and you went out with for almost seven months, just so that they could wind up being gay. Those fucking bastards.  
I'm sure you do. I enjoy you making me speechless. It tells me you're worth it.

Are you sure? Hmmmm.  
(...Because what...? :O  
Bye, Stud!)

-Bombshell

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

The Magic Bean was Kiba's favourite coffee house - always had been, always would be. Hana -his older sister- had brought him here when _she_ had been going through university, and Kiba had only been a kid then. The place always stayed the same; the armchairs were dark brown velvet, and over-stuffed to a perfect level of squishyness. The red brick of the walls showed through the last paint-job, and those same walls were lined with bookshelves, all full of oddities and bits of this and that. The huge windows, designed to let in sunlight, were steamy from the heat of the coffee machines whirring and hissing in the background.

This was the place where Kiba had grown up, and he was fond of its oddness. Really, it wasn't everyday one saw little jade elephants from Thailand next to handmade Venetian masks, all wrapped up in the comfy warmth of the familiar. So many knicknacks made Kiba grin, even as his eyes flashed to the Salvadore Dali-inspired clock on the wall.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Kiba stared at the goddamn clock. He was three minutes early. Just three minutes. But she - well, he really had no idea what Bombshell looked like, but he had a feeling he'd know her as soon as he saw her. She just exuded that sense of life; he could tell that, even through their emails. The coffee house was silent, save for the ticking of the clock, and the mechanical noises from the silver espresso machines; there was no one in there except for himself and the cashier.

He checked the clock on his phone again. Four-twenty eight.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Weren't girls always _early_?

Just then, Kiba heard the bell at the door dingle. His head shot up, and he knew, he just _knew_, that she had walked through the door.

* * *

Ino was scared.

Petrified.

Anxious.

Excited.

All in one big ball of knots in the pit of her tummy.

She had been early, just by two minutes, probably. But she was so scared, that she had stood outside the coffee shop, away from the view of the windows, and breathed in and out about twenty times before she deemed it time to stop lagging. Steeling her shoulders, she walked towards the door, her shaky hands playing with the hem of her pretty blouse-dress-thing; it was just so pretty and blue and beady and she was so happy that Sakura forgot it was hers. Not to mention that Karin's boots made killer improvements on her already killer body, but still. It never hurt to look gorgeous for once, right?

Ino flipped her long bleach-blond hair over her shoulder and pushed the door open. The bell jingled above her, but Ino didn't really hear it - she was too busy staring at the hunk of a guy that was staring right back at her. She froze, her mouth clamped closed, pretty blue eyes mildly widened and her heart beat escalated to a rate that she was positive was not normal.

But Ino wasn't one to be intimidated so easily, and she most certainly never showed it when she was. Allowing a small playful smile on her lip-glossed lips (Ino thanked Karin a million times over), she let go of the door so it'd fall back into place and headed towards where K9 was sitting. It felt like her stride was slow, lagging, never ending; by the time she made it to the empty armchair, Ino was all nervous once again.

She looked up at the guy, a whole head taller than her, and breathed out shakily through her slightly parted lips.

And she smiled.

* * *

Kiba's whole brain was struck utterly dumb. _Hot damn_.

The girl was gorgeous. It wasn't the gritty kind of beauty that Hana -crazy bitch- had, not the bat-shit-crazy sort-of beauty that Anko -crazy bitch- kept under her nails, and not the dysfuctional glowy beauty that Yuugao -crazy bitch- wore, the way most girls wore make-up. Kiba momentarily wondered why all the girls in his life -the permanent ones, anyways-, were all so damn crazy.

Bombshell -it had to be her, it had to be- was so beautiful, she might as well have been a doll. And Kiba suddenly felt underdressed. Sure, leather jacket, black slacks, white short-sleeved t-shirt - they made him look good. But not _that_ good. Damn, Suigetsu was going to have a bitch-fit when he met this girl.

He looked down at her, and grinned in a crooked sort of way. "Sit down, kiddo. Want anything? The raspberry hot chocolate is pretty good. We can talk once we're both settled, okay?"

He really liked her smile, and she was really pretty when she blushed.

He walked to the counter, and blinked at the girl there. She'd been working at the Magic Bean for over two months, was his sister's friend, and she knew his order by now. She was normally a nice girl. From the smirk on her lips, however- "Two raspberry hot chocolates, extra whipped cream, with a shot of Bailey's. To stay, I'm guessing. Coming right up. Get your girl, small one, I'll tell Hana not to tease."

Kiba grinned at her. "Thanks.

It took the barista girl three minutes to make the drinks, and then Kiba went and sat back down across from her. She had arranged herself on his second favourite chair, and Kiba figured that he had good taste. He set the steaming mug of hot chocolate down in front of her, and said "I'm Kiba. So, kiddo, what's your name?"

* * *

Ino blinked as she watched him get up and go order... well, watched his _backside._

And it was nice, oh yeah. She smirked to herself, following his every move. She began to daydream as soon as he waited for their orders; brown hair was _so much better _than red. She was so into her thoughts, that as soon a mug of hot chocolate was set in front of her, she almost jumped out of her seat. She stared at the black mug and then looked back up at K9, who happened to be a _hunk_, just in case she hadn't made that clear with herself.

"I'm Kiba. So, kiddo, what's your name?"

_Kiddo..._ Ino blushed at the endearment; if she didn't know herself any better, which she did, her face was currently rosy from her chin up to her hairline. She licked her bottom lip and tried not to stare at his complete God-ness. But then something hit her; _this _was nothing like Ino. _This _was something Hinata or Sakura would do. _This _was embarrassing.

So she clashed her gray-blue eyes with his dark ones and smirked. "I'm Ino."

She grabbed her mug, sat back on the comfy chair and crossed one of her leg over the other and while she drank some of her drink, her eyes never broke away from his.

* * *

It was silent for a long minute.

Then Kiba shook his head, and chuckled. "Hell, if this isn't awkward... Look, I guess we can't really do the 'hi, my name is', because we're already been through that. How about we just pick up from where we left off? I never got to read your reply, I was still at work..."

She tilted her head just slightly at him, strands of white-blonde hair falling across her very-sky-blue eyes. "Cars, right? You work at an autoshop?"

Kiba watched her tongue run the rim of the mug, and felt his thoughts head in a decidedly _dirty_ direction. He caught himself, however (there was a voice in his head that sounded _suspiciously_ like Sasuke, muttering something along the lines of _you fucking loser, she's seventeen! Get your mind out of the gutter!_), before he could say or _do_ something very, very stupid, and answered her question. "Yeah. We're... refurbishing, I guess you could say, an '82 Chevy Nova. The thing is going to be gorgeous, when it's finished."

Ino smiled at him. The nervous-tense feeling in Kiba's stomach disappeared in a flash; what on earth was he nervous about? Stupid awkward conversation starters. "Huh, you're about to graduate, aren't you? What are you thinking about going into?"

* * *

Ino placed her mug back on the table before getting comfortable in her seat again. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and cleared her throat. "Well, I'm going to be a writer-slash-model. Or something, I don't really know. Yeah..."

Oh, okay, that was totally lame. _Nice one Ino, in all seriousness - you're the most Epic Fail_. She pouted when she was _positive _she heard a voice (well, two. And they sounded like Karin and Tenten) in her head snickering and pointing out that she was completely lame.

"Are you _pouting_?"

At his voice Ino perked up, her face growing pink again and she tried really hard to avert her eyes. Oh god, someone just shoot her now; _what _the _hell _is going _on _with her?! Usually, she was flirting her ass off by now. Maybe it's because he's older? Or because he's _reallyreally pretty_? ...Or because something inside of her told her that he was actually going to be worth it.

"U-uh. No... I was... Thinking." _About raping you. Someway or another. Yeah. Let's go with that. _"So... an '82 Chevy Nova? My dad has a '68 Mustang - I'm working on getting him to give it to me as a graduation gift." She smirked deviously and summed up some courage to stare at him in the eyes again.

God, was he pretty.

* * *

"You know your cars, kiddo. I like that." Kiba said.

He sat back in the cushy brown chair, and just looked at her. She was running her fingers through her hair almost nervously, her legs still crossed, her mug of hot chocolate sitting neatly on the table between them. But even though part of her looked nevous, there was a spark of playfulness in her eyes. It was a spark of - of _something_ that looked like it was about to burst into flame and rage through the world.

The girl was balsy and intelligent. Knew her cars. Had an off-beat side, although he had a feeling that she kept it hidden from a lot of people - most girls who looked like Ino did, didn't like Blink-182. And beautiful. Very, very beautiful.

Exactly his type of girl.

He hoped he wouldn't break her heart. She deserved better then that.

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**les**: omfg. i think i just found my new otp. i'm serious. kibaino was so much fucking fun to write! OH YES. ALSO, I GOT A MOUTH FULL OF SKITTLES, WANNA TASTE THE RAINBOW?! ;D  
**Saraa**: i like smarties. blame les's new OTP on me. i got her hooked. :D  
**sonya**: i bet sai wants to taste the rainbow, if you know what i mean. ;) seventeen ain't so sweet, but eighteen's a little less bitter. RUN FOR MAKEUP!


	5. how to kickstart the apocalypse

Hello! Thanks a bajillion for the support, guys! You guys are amazing!  
**Disclaimer: **not ours.  
**Dedication: **to music. les's evil side. makeup, and food!  
**VERY IMPORTANT NOTE**: you guys should go and see the playlists we've made for each couple. lots of nice music, and the artist variation = win. KTHNXBAI.

* * *

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.

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* * *

To: runswithskizzers  
From:359degrees  
Subject: _No Subject_

To Whom It May Concern:

As your internet correspondent, you may refer to me as Mastermind.

There's not much to say about me.

I like working with weapons as well as practicing all forms of martial arts.

My family consists of me, my two younger female cousins, and their father (my uncle).

My goal is to run my own dojo.

I believe in destiny, a force no one can run from.

I don't dislike or like anything.

Patiently awaiting your response,  
Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _And the cookie crumbles!_

Whoa, you don't have to be so uptight, dude. But I guess that's okay.

Okay then, Mastermind, call me Machete! Would you look at that – both our alias start with M's. I think that's interesting, don't you?

Well, I suppose there's not much to say about me either… I love working with weapons – preferably sharp ones… the ones that are shiny and metal-y. I'm pretty flexible if I do say so myself (and no, I didn't mean that in the perverse way), I like running and sports and just really about anything that has me moving.

I live by myself, but there was a time where my family consisted of me and my mom before she passed away two years ago.

My goal…. Hm… I guess my goal is to become…. No, scratch that – I don't have a goal at the moment, I'm just… keeping my options open.

I like fortunetelling, Greek mythology and all that stuff. I don't like it when guys hit on me when I'm walking along the campus.

See ya,  
Machete

* * *

To: runswithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _Waste of food_

Compared to you, I'm not surprised you think me "uptight".

"Dude".

Sure. I'm not really a fan of machetes. I prefer to use katanas. But my real specialty is hitting chakra points.

I'm not really a pervert, believe it or not.

I sympathize with your loss. My father passed away years ago. I do not have any idea what happened to my mother. That is why I live with my father's family.

Where do you plan on going to college then?

Intriguing interests. Greek mythology is rather interesting. Who is your favorite god or goddess?

-Mastermind

P.S. Maybe after this is all over, we should spar.

P.P.S. I am not hitting on you or asking you out. I merely like testing my skills with those of my fellow artists.

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _That'd be, like, a death sentence._

What's that supposed to mean, bub?  
Are you trying to offend me or something? Because if you are, that's a rather rude thing to do on the third email.

Dude, I love katanas, too! I just... thought you'd think I was weird? Not that I cared, I just didn't like the idea of explaining but it looks like I don't have to.  
Hitting chakra points? Ohhh, that sounds interesting - how do you do that?

I'll take your word for it. Although there are a bajillion of pervs out there, I'd like to think there is at least one that isn't.

I'm sorry about your loss, too. Well, it's cool you live with your family - I live alone now.

Well, believe it or not, but I can't afford going to a big well known university, regardless if I'm going to apply for scholarships; so I plan to go to community college. I mean, don't get me wrong, I got money - I'm not dirt poor or poor... I have money... I just... need it for basic house things: bills and clothes and food and supplies. So community college will suffice for a while.

I like to think so, too! Greek mythology's my drug - Hades has to be my idol!

-Machete

P.S. I accept your cordial challenge.

P.P.S I didn't really think you did... It's alright you don't have to be on guard on how I take what you say. I'm pretty mellow. :D

* * *

To: runswithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _Agreed on another thing._

Just a casual observation. & I'm not "uptight". I'm merely very concentrated on poise and 's not a _bad_ thing.

Katanas are a very versatile weapon. They are also very, very sharp so Uncle makes me cover the edge in plastic.  
He said something about hurting someone, but I think he's thinking more of the Shinken katana than Hanabi's head.  
Chakra points refers to pressure points. When hit, they can knock someone unconscious or cause paralysis in a limb. It's a family specialty.

As my friend K9 would say, most males aren't "antisocial asexual bastards" like myself.  
Then again, he's rather... friendly with the ladies.

Is it legal for you to live alone?

Some of those big universities don't work well for everyone.  
Where would you go if finance wasn't an issue?

God of the Dead? I might rescind my invite to a spar after all...

-Mastermind

P.S. Good. Should we procure masks so our identities remain anonymous?

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runswithskizzers  
Subject: _Agreeing is a good thing, though._

Well, then that changes everything. Aw, are you really? That's nice. We need more well-mannered men in this world.  
And no, it's _not _a bad thing.

Katanas are amazing. They have my soul; sharp things are my expertize, I'd like to emphasize.  
Hanabi? Oh, a relative, duh, keep reading, Machete.  
I'm interested in watching how this works, it sounds oh so fascinating.

You don't sound antisocial... just very polite and... not uptight...? You're just very blunt, that's all. I have no idea about your sex drive so I'm just... not gonna say anything.  
Is he really? Is he at least _nice_?

I'm not sure if it is... but I've been doing it for quite some time. It's alright, lonely at times, but alright. I get to think and meditate a lot, something I don't get to do in the day.

No, they're way too big sometimes. Kinda unnecessary.  
I'd go to Konoha University... seem's... I don't know, pretty cool there.

Aw c'mon. I promise I won't kill ya! I'll go nice and easy! ;D

-Machete

P.S. I'm down for that!

* * *

To: runswithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _Agreed on another thing._

Since I plan on majoring in business, compromising and social skills are very important.  
Obviously.

Yes, my youngest cousin. She's a little... prance-y.  
It's almost like she's _trying_ to get her head cut off.  
Hn, it is.  
Unless you're the one who can't move your left arm.

I'm perfectly straight.  
I'm just looking for my... opposite.  
Or something.  
You'd call it a "soul mate".  
I'd just call it destiny.

I dare say the ladies call him nice.  
He's less annoying than Dead-Last...

If you're eighteen, it's legal.

Konoha is rather relaxed but with excellent teachers and opportunities.

Don't go easy.

-Mastermind

P.S. Meeting where and when?

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Oh gosh. Agreeing. We're making the world brighter, Mastermind!_

(Btw, I sound like a complete Go!Green! Person. And I'm not.)

Majoring in business? That sounds like a lot of work. And requires a lot of patience.  
But I wish you luck nonetheless! :D

Aw, she sounds adorable! And I don't even like kids.  
Well, if she's family with you, I am assuming she has mad skills. Therefore she doesn't have to worry about getting her head cut off.  
Huh, I'm gonna have to believe you're being cocky. I'm just gonna have to see for myself.

So you're straight. Huh. Okay. Maybe I can do some fortunetelling for ya someday.  
Your opposite, huh? Well, let's see... Like I said, you sound blunt, and yet polite and a _bit _antisocial and you seem to be very patient. Yet patient people tend to lose it completely if their buttons are pushed the wrong way (I know this because of my friend Stutterbug). So your opposite's tactful, maybe not as polite as you... and a total social butterfly and impatient.  
I don't call it either. I just call it getting together.

Hm, well, if he's nice then I suppose it's okay.  
Dead Last? He sounds funny just by the name.

I'm going to be eighteen in March. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking.

I suppose it is, I've been told about it. But I still think community college is gonna be enough for a while.

Okay... I won't go easy. (This just proves how blunt you are.)

-Machete

P.S. Let's meet this Saturday at the Kusanagi dojo. Is that alright?

* * *

To: runswithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _Please stop sounding annoying & cheery._

It does.  
Thank you for your well wishes.

We will see.  
Kusanagi dojo at five in the morning on Saturday.  
Hanabi is average.

You only do "fortune telling" for people who are straight.  
How in-discriminatory of you.  
I do not "lose it". I get even.  
Whatever you want to call it, it leads to holy matrimony.

I am 22.

Get what you can from what you have.  
That is something I have learned.

I'm straightforward and to-the-point.  
That's all.

-Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _You're an ass, so I've come to notice._

I'm gonna be a bitch and take my well wishes back. Because you know what? You don't deserve them.  
Screw you and your ass habits too.

I'll be there, just don't keep me waiting for so much.... Next thing I know you're so into your image and take godly hours to do your hair.  
And by the way, maybe Hanabi's going to be better than you. You fucking sexist pig.

I do fortune telling to _everyone_. Because unlike you, I'm not sexist and I actually think everyone is equal. So watch what you say about a person you don't even know.  
You get even. Okay. Well, I'll give you a tip: don't piss me off because I don't get even, I make sure it's crystal clear that it's not cool to fuck with me.  
Ew. Holy matrimony. That's just...ew.

Ha, you're an old geezer.

I get what I want. Either from what I have or from what I want. It'll be mine.

I'm nice and maybe talkative. If you fuck with me I might slit your throat.  
And that's in a nutshell.

-Machete

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _No Subject_

My penpal just threatened to slit my throat. I would die within 3 minutes at best if it was my jugular, 1 at worst if she cut my carotid.

I want out.

Urgently,  
Neji Hyuuga-sama

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Suck it up, muffin_.

...Am I supposed to care, or something?

The partner you got is the partner you have for the rest of the semester, Hyuuga. Clearly, you ticked her off, and she threatened to hurt you. I don't blame her.  
Now, is there anything else you want to bother me about? I have to go get a pedicure...

To be clear: I'll get you a straw by next class, for the purposes of sucking it up.

-Anko-sama

P.S. Take that '-sama' off your name. It is reserved for Anko-sama alone!

* * *

To: runswithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _I apologize._

-Mastermind

* * *

To:359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject: __NOT ACCEPTED._

I refuse to message you any longer. I hate pigs like you and you know what, my grade doesn't matter to me all that much.

So have fun failing, have fun being a complete jack ass and Fuck. You.

-Machete

* * *

To: runswithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _I really hope you don't want to do that._

Fuck me, I mean.  
There's a... piece of jewelry affiliated with this.  
Think of three American pop brothers. One who no longer has to wear said jewelry because he got hitched...?

Okay, I apologize.  
I already said it.  
And I mean it.

-Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject:_ wtf...?_

You're weird.  
And not normal.  
You're uptight.  
And annoying.  
You're a jerk.  
And a complete and utter...I'm not even gonna finish that; I might hurt your feelings.

The point is _what _in the world makes you think I'd want to fuck you? I'd have a better chance in masturbating than fucking a stiff business man wannabe like you.

AND YOU HAVE A _PROMISE RING_?! BAHAHAHA. OH MY FUCKING GOD. YOU CRACK ME UP!  
You're joking? Right?

Your apology is _still _not accepted. And frankly it will never be.  
But I'll humor myself in continuing these emails.

-Machete

* * *

To: runswithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _No Subject_

I'll take those as compliments or remarks of your opinion.  
Think what you will.  
And you can't hurt my feelings, so you might as well say what you think.  
I'm curious.

You're the one who said it.  
Not me.  
So don't ask _me_.

I'm not joking.  
Saving my virginity for marriage is one of the values of my clan.

Accept what you will.  
And thank you for "humoring" me.

-Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject: __No Subject_

You annoy the fuck out of me.  
I don't like you. At all.  
And what I think of you is that your a self-righteous-stick-up-his-ass-virgin. News flash, bastard, you're not going to get anywhere in life with that attitude.

I didn't mean it so literally.

Bah. Your clan.  
Is saving yourself what _you _want though?

Shut up.  
And you're NOT FUCKING WELCOMED.

-Machete

* * *

To: runswithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _Oh, you too._

That's what Dead-Last says all the time.  
Well.  
When he's not saying "ramen". T_T

That's good.

I don't really care.  
I'm busy with sparring.

Speaking of sparring...  
Let's make a deal.  
We will spar tomorrow, Wednesday, at 6 tomorrow morning so it doesn't interfere with any classes at Kusanagi Dojo.  
If _you_ pin _me_ down for 5 seconds, you can do whatever you want regarding the email. I'll be your slave for the next eight weeks or whenever the semester ends.  
But if _I_ pin _you_ down for five seconds, you drop the grudge and we'll both be more pleasant for the rest of the semester.  
You bring your weapon of choice and I'll bring mine.  
Deal?

-Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject: __You don't deserve a subject._

Dead Last sounds really smart. Aside from the ramen part.

Whatever.

Yeah right. You just like having people tell you what to do. Pretty contradictory if you ask me. You sound independent and do what you want but looky here. You let people tell you when it's alright to have sex. When you need it, you need it, buddy.  
Damn, you spar more than... You spar a lot.

I'm in.  
Get ready to become my slave.

-Machete

* * *

Neji slipped into the dojo with barely a whisper of the door to mark his passage through it.

It was strange to think that the dojo was part of his alma mater. Outside the doors of the dojo was one of the most prestigious public schools in Konoha with computer labs and scientific laboratories that smelled like antiseptics and filled with chrome and stainless steel countertops to dissect frogs. But once you enter the sliding doors of the dojo, it was like being catapulted to the old days, when the whole area was forest and ninjas were the caretakers of civilians.

Wooden frames held pieces of rice paper bolted to wooden backs. The papers depicted the local history of Konoha. By history, Neji thought of those old times, not the time when the Sandaime was the Hokage or mayor of the town or when there was a mini-civil war, when that creepy guy who used to work under the Sandaime before he went to Oto Tech, tried to take over Konoha.

(Which was kind of stupid, if you think about it. How could he try to "take over as mayor"?

This was a DEMOCRACY.)

No, there were pictures of people who fled through woods with silence, carrying out missions for the betterment of Konoha.

He saw her just a few seconds before he heard her.

She was a slight girl with brown hair twisted into panda-like buns and dark eyebrows, raised at him over brown eyes. They glimmered sadistically at him as her mouth twisted into a bloodthirsty grin. Conveniently, she was dressed for a spar in dark, camo, baggy convertible pants & a black wife-beater. Instead of wearing studs or earrings, the holes in her ears were empty, something that Neji approved of.

She was also his cousin's friend, Tenten.

Seeing as she was clutching a katana in her right hand, she was, he deduced, his penpal.

Small world.

"Hello there... Neji."

* * *

Tenten cursed to herself.

Of course her penpal would be _Neji_ of all people. Those evil, annoying-as-fuck emails just SMELLED of Neji. Her small laborador puppy, Kiri, whose nose had been burned by a chemical spill by her previous owner and was unable to smell as a result, could probably have smelled him on all that stupid SPAM he was sending her.

His voice broke her out of her thoughts.

"Hello, _Panda-chan_. Do you still like being called that? I remember you liking it."

She _hissed_. "I was _five_."

"Well, you're _eighteen_ now, and _still_ wearing panda-buns."

He pauses for a second.

"Actually..."

Unable to stop it, she stiffens at his next words.

"Your hairstyle looks more like Sailor Moon."

* * *

Oh, he was asking for it. He was asking for it _big time_.

She sneered at him, brown eyes narrowing down into slits. "Do you want to die today, Neji? Do you? Because you're testing my patience and you're not even halfway into the damn place. Besides, my buns are perfectly _fine _and stay out of my eyes when I'm in the process of beating the crap out of jerks like you."

And when an approving gleam came to his eyes, she tried to dismiss it and concentrate on her pent up frustration with this guy.

Tenten wanted to skip the spar and rather smack him around with the hilt of her katana. God was he so annoying. So goddamn annoying - she wanted to just... _choke him_ and possibly give him CPR just to choke him once again. She smirked and tilted her head to the side.

"So. You're still a virgin. I knew it; no one can be that stiff if they already had someone to rump 'em off."

At his stiffness, Tenten cackled in glee. Oh, he wanted to irk her? Well she had some irking up her sleeves too.

"Now, you've kept me waiting - probably took two minutes longer in conditioning your hair, hm, Neji-_kun_? - are we gonna spar or do you want to go into round infinity with the insults? Either way I'm going to win."

Neji frowned.

* * *

If it was one thing Neji seems to forget at times, it's Tenten's sharp tongue and knack for making you shudder with her threats. Perhaps it's because he doesn't see her as much as he used to. But whatever it was, it was one thing that will never change. Neji almost felt contented at that, if it weren't for the fact that her barrage of insults were being aimed at him.

Maybe she was still rather angry about their emails?

Okay, okay. That was mildly his fault. Sorta. But it's just that he... really can't control himself without snapping so much. And... Okay, maybe it wasn't her fault that Hanabi had finished his conditioner and taking it out on her via emails was pretty wrong. And maybe her words did kind of hit a sore spot and it's _not his fault_.

He _did _apologize.

Twice.

And she didn't accept neither.

But then again Tenten _was _a grudge-holder.

Okay, yeah, he screwed up.

He cleared his throat. "Well. We'll begin, then."

"About time, too." Tenten grumbled, swatting some of her blunt-cut bangs away from her eyes.

Settling into the middle of the otherwise-empty dojo, they settled into their respective ready pose. His weight rested firmly on the balls of his feet, he felt ready for any sudden move the volatile Tenten could make towards him.

"Ladies first?"

* * *

Tenten sneered at him, while her katana twitched. Oh, how she longed to impale his stupid ass on her nice, long, _sharp_ blade.

But that would be giving in to him._ She_ knew that _he _knew that _she_ knew that _he_ knew that _she_ knew that...

Anyways, long story short, she knew that he knew that she wanted to start swinging sharp objects at his head, hoping it would deflate his ego.

Worst case scenario: he dies and she quotes self-defense.

Best case scenario: Neji learns that frolicking in the flowers is a _nice_ thing to do early in the middle of the school week.

The point is that she was _not_ going to go out there and give him the obvious. She was going to be unpredictable. She was going to make him never want to mess with her again; or anger her in the least. Because he was such a douche and _argh she hated him, she did! _Really.

She poised herself, hand twitching to grab the hilt of her katana and un-sheath it. But she didn't, she willed herself to _wait_. So she gracefully (almost like a deathly ballerina) pranced around, nearing Neji. She grinned, raising her arms, hands clenched into fists and once he was within reach, she sent one flying. But he blocked and it was to be expected.

Tenten's grin only widened as she blocked one of his hands (fingers poised to puncture). She aimed a kick and then a punch and it all went like that; aiming and blocking and moving around in an almost entrancing yet dangerous dance.

"C'mon Neji, don't be such a girl," She taunted, grinning when she managed to land a kick to his sides.

And then she sucked in a breath through her teeth when he got her as well.

Oh, that hurt like a bitch.

* * *

Neji grunted when she kicked his side and as retaliation, he spun around and got his own hit right on her arm.

Okay, yeah. He was kinda wondering - maybe even _dying _to know - just _why _she wasn't using her katana. She had brought it with the intentions on using it, right? But now here she was, showing her skills in taijutsu and moving around with grace.

Neji bent back, enough to make her punch miss his face. _That _was uncalled for.

He narrowed his eyes---

"Is this all the Great Neji has? I thought you sparred a lot - enough to lack testosterone!"

--He glared and stubbed his pointer and middle fingers on her arms, her thighs, her chest. Each time she grunted louder; and when she recuperated she'd glare at him with a glare far more fiercer than the ones Uchiha Jr always donned. And that was saying a lot.

"You are _such _a boy," she said through gritted teeth. Trying to swing her katana, she found her movements to be slow and jerky.

Jerky enough, in fact, for Neji to pull a small kunai out of the holster on his waist and knock the katana out of her hands with it.

Tenten yelped as it clatters on the ground before turning to glare at him.

"You _asshole_." She swept her left leg under her opponent, who was too focused on thinking he had her.

Which he totally didn't.

He sucked in a breath as his back hit the ground...

... Only to lose it again when Tenten straddled his torso.

"You've heavier than you look," he wrasps.

The last thing he sees before she knocks him out is her furious expression.

* * *

He awakens to a voice saying, "Oy, prick. I want my vanilla latte. NAOW."

Thus, he spends the next couple of seconds checking his bodily functions.

Breathing? Check.

Hearing? Check.

Toes wiggle-able? Check.

Sight? Wouldn't know until he opened his eyes.

But it's a little late, since Tenten has obviously lost patience with him.

If he had still been under, the bucket of water she'd thrown on him would have woken him up.

Especially since she forgot to keep a grip on the bucket.

Neji grunted and clenched his eyes shut. God, just as he was in the process of fully waking up, she just _had _to go on and do that. He sat up, hand shooting up to clutch at his throbbing head. Once his eyes opened he turned to glare at her; she was standing not so far away from him, one hand on her hip while the other played with her hair (that, he noticed, she had taken down from the mess it had been in).

"What the hell, do you have some pleasure in inflicting pain on people that are already _knocked out_," he questioned, sitting up and moving some of the rebellious strands of hair out of his face.

Tenten shrugged and plopped to the floor. "Meh, I do when the person is a _complete and utter ass_. Oh, looky there - that's _you_." She smirked at him and raised an eyebrow, though it was almost unnoticeable since her bangs covered them. She clapped her hands, "Chop, chop - get me my vanilla latte. Pronto."

Neji grimaced. "What the hell are you talking about, I'm not getting you anything."

And something told him that was the wrong thing to say.

* * *

"What?"

Her voice was a mixture of disbelief and irritation.

Neji said nothing.

Swiftly Tenten was back on her feet and she was stomping towards him. "Listen here, bub. I won fair and fricken square. The deal was you'd be my slave if I won - and LOOK AT THAT, I WON. I KNOCKED YOU OUT. So now either you get me my vanilla latte or you get _that_--" she pointed to the katana little ways from them "--hilt up your ass."

And she smirked as she watched his Adam's Apple bob - he was gulping. Ah, she loved it when she got things her way.

Neji grumbled and turned away.

"Make sure they add some whipped cream, subordinate."

While he left, all he heard was her triumphant cackling.

_Note to self: make sure Tenten never meets Anko unless you want to unleash chaos and death on the world._

_

* * *

_

To: runswithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject:_ No Subject_

Okay, so you won.

Now what?

Are we going to be "normal" now?

Like... How-are-you kind of normal?

-Mastermind

* * *

To:359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject:_ No subject for you!_

Yes, yes I did win.

Now, you'll keep your end of the bargain and be my slave. I want you to take me out to eat at Luffy's this weekend. I'm in the mood for some burgers.

Normal? Excuse me, you're anything _but _normal.

Look, don't irk me, don't talk crap to me and I might play nice.

Simple as that.

-Machete

* * *

To: runswithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _Che._

Fine.

Where and what time?  
But it's a greasy restaurant. Why don't we go some place fancier? If I'm going to pay, I want to make it worth my money.  
And I also would prefer _not_ to sit in grease and listen to kids scream.

-Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Don't start with me._

Good.

Saturday. At Seven.

We're going to Luffy's. I want a burger. And a burger I'm going to get so help me I _will_ throw another bucket at you.  
And at least we agree on the kids part.

But I'll be concentrating too much on my food to care.

SO WE'RE GOING TO LUFFY'S.

-Machete

* * *

To: runswithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _Hn._

Whatever.  
I'll be there.  
Or my credit card will, at least.  
Since you seem to want the money and would leave me in the cold if you could.

-Mastermind

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _SHUT THE HELL UP MOFO._

Don't whatever me, betch.  
You better be there.  
And I could care less if either of you are there. But the thing is you're both _gonna _be there. Or else.

Now shut up and stop making assumptions of me. Ass.

-Machete

* * *

Tenten rolled her eyes for the nth time.

"I don't _care _about fancy food - food is food." She crossed her arms in front of her chest and turned to stare out the window. "I want to eat at Luffy's, Hyuuga. And that is final. Now shut up and drive."

She nibbled on her lime-green piercing, having it disappear in her mouth just to let it back out again and the process continued. Weirdly, biting at it kind of soothed her and calmed her nerves when _idiots _such as _this one _ground her gears. Actually, getting her lip-piercing was possibly the best idea Tenten ever came up with. And it had been even more amazing since Karin had gone with her to get it; the redhead had been indecisive ("get your eyebrow better! No, wait! Your tongue! Okay, never mind, your lip is better!"), but she was amazing and she held her hand!

Tenten raised an eyebrow. "You passed Luffy's, Hyuuga. Do you really want to die? And a virgin, too."

* * *

Neji, by this point, was wishing he had a lip ring. Just so he had something to bite while this _maniac_ was making unnecessary snide comments.

But he held it in.

Oh yes, he held it in.

"You know, Neji, I'm pretty sure you'll need that steering wheel to go in the direction you want." He can hear the smirk in her voice.

_Bitch_.

"And just so you know, Luffy's is not greasy. I've locked myself in the restaurant after dark just to make sure since Sak is _such_ a pansy when it comes to germs. I mean, she _does_ want to be a doctor and all. Anyway, when I got locked inside, I watched them wipe down EVERYTHING in the restaurant with Clorox Bleach wipes. I didn't know that many Clorox wipes _existed..._ Anyways, the point is, you pansy, it's _clean._

"So clean, in fact, you could ditch the purity ring and we could have sex on one of the tables after hours. It's probably cleaner than the hospital Sak works- HEY LOOK OUT FOR THE CAR YOU IDIOT!"

She clutched the dashboard as Neji smoothly drove around the parked car. He smiled inside, pleased that she had shut up, even if it had required that he had to really concentrate on the world.

But he visibly shuddered when he reviewed her earlier comments.

"Anyway, it's not like I _want_ to hook up with you. You're annoying, sexist, jerk, obsessed with your reflection, the next Narcissus, emotionally stunted, stupi- WAIT. YOU NEARLY CRASHED ON PURPOSE!"

Neji smirked.

* * *

"YOU'RE SUCH A JERK!"

Oh, the need to jump on him and pummel him was so damn large and she was so damn close in doing it. She breathed in and out harshly, her chest heaving as she did so. The one day she decides to leave her hair in a loose, wavy ponytail and now it's all over the place thanks to _this jerk_.

Tenten remained quiet after that. Mildly watching as he parked his car and almost yelled in happiness when she got out.

She raised her arms and incorporated her hair into one single messy bun, having some strands framing her face along with her bangs. She pulled her white t-shirt (Blink 182's Smiley Logo imprinted in front of it along with neon paint splatters) and made sure her studded belt was on properly - as in, holding her gray skinnies up her small waist.

"Hurry up, Hyuuga, stop checking yourself out."

Tenten turned to look at what he was doing, rolling her eyes when he was walking at a turtle's pace. Okay, she'll admit it to herself, he looked nice in white-polos (two top buttons unbuttoned and not tucked in) along with black jeans and black converses. But his attitude killed it all and he was such a jerk and Tenten wanted to strangle him.

"How about you walk and stop talking?"

"How about you _don't _talk to me like that, and I won't shank you?"

* * *

Tch, to think she had bested him in a spar.

He tried to rationalize his losing because he knew that, humility aside, the only people capable of matching him were Sasuke and Naruto; Sasuke, because he was always thinking ahead and had skill. Naruto, merely because the blond goof had the tenacity of a- actually there's nothing to compare it to- and the energy of a five-year-old who had eaten all of Candy Mountain.

So why had he lost to her?

Sun in his eyes? No, he shook his head immediately. There had been no sun, seeing as the dojo had been shaded in trees to the east.

Then there _had_ to have been an eyelash in his eye.

Again, he denounced the idea and settled back in his chair to watch Tenten look through the menu through half-lidded eyes.

She was pretty enough, he supposed. Her brown hair was shiny with intricate waves that highlighted her face _just_ right_._ Her brown eyes were almost boring holes into the menu with their intensity as she tried to decide what to get.

But he shook this idea out of his had.

Those thoughts meant that on, some level, he was attracted to Tenten... whatever.

Hell, he didn't even know her last name! And she had _forced_ him to take her to Luffy's and pay for her meal.

So he wasn't attracted to her.

He nodded to himself subconsciously pleased.

Then his jaw dropped and he choked on his tongue.

She had forced him to take her to Luffy's and pay for her meal.

...

Did this qualify as a date?

He choked some more.

* * *

Tenten looked up, a blank expression on her face. Man, this guy was such a _girl_. First he cares to much about his hair, second, his image, not to mention that he _thinks _like a girl at times (_chastity ring_, really?) and now he was choking on his own spit. Like a girl.

She rolled her eyes.

"Oi, Princess. Fix yourself, you look like an idiot."

To think this idiot was Hinata's cousin. Oh, she felt bad for the poor girl - having this... this...

She turned and stared at him from over the menu-thing. He was pretty, she'll admit it. His hair was long, yes, but... it suited him and he made it work and he looked so pretty (someone in her head... Karin and Ino, it sounded like, were wondering if his hair was as soft as it looked). And his eyes were the same pearly-white as Hinata's; but while her's were a silverish-blue, his were a silverish-purple. And he was so pretty.

But he makes her want to pull at her hair and smack herself unconscious.

What she _did _like, though, was that she was able to bend him to her will. And she was _so _going to abuse of this power while it lasted.

Her thoughts were cut short when their waiter for the night came. Ignoring his greeting (honestly, they could spice it up a bit and _not _sound so robotic), she ordered a vanilla milkshake. They both turned to stare at the doofus in front of her.

"Hyuuga? Your call."

"A glass of water, please."

As the waiter walked away, Tenten snorted. "Water? Seriously? Dude, you're such a marshmallow."

She rolled her eyes and turned to look around the place, grimacing at all the little snot-nose kids running around with pizza stains on their cheeks. God, did she dislike kids. Rolling her eyes again she turned back to Neji and sucked on her pretty piercing.

_What's there to talk about with a stupid guy with a pole stuck up his ass?_

_..._

_There_ was something to talk about with Neji.

She leaned across the table, unintentionally throwing her cleavage in his face. Upon realizing why, exactly, he was averting his eyes and starting to turn pale everywhere but his cheeks, which were redder than Snow White's, she hissed before throwing herself around the table and squishing Neji into a corner.

"Okay, while I tell you this, we're going to have to whisper. So we'll pretend we're cuddling while I'm REALLY telling you a bunch of cool gossip, okay?"

His face turned polar-icy-white. She stared at him for a while before giving him a disbelieving look.

"Okay, first, you've never had sex and _now_ you've never cuddled? What did your family do, steal all of your marbles and put a computer in there instead?!"

* * *

Her loud voice carried across the dining area and reached Kakashi, who recognized that loud voice better than he did his own mother's.

The last person who should EVER meet Anko.

He groaned and asked what deity was responsible for today and cursed them to the seventh level of hell & through its basement.

* * *

Turning to look at Kakashi, who now had his head buried in his hands, Tenten turned back and _squealed_ at Neji.

"O. Em. GEE. I see my AP Psych teacher. _And he's on a date with this pretty purple-haired chick_." She was basically bouncing in her seat in excitement.

Neji had a horrible idea as to who the purple hair chick was and grabbed Tenten's hand, determined to drag her out of Luffy's Family Restaurant (Family, yes, but it could be the _mob_ family, in which case, Tenten and Anko would be welcomed with open arms with plenty of weaponry. The Mob probably wouldn't mind bloodshed) even if she shanked him with the plastic knife off the kid's meal. After remembering his "Note To Self", he was pretty sure it would be worth dying for- really, world-takeover by Anko and Tenten or death?

"We're leaving. NOW."

He heard Tenten growl from in back of him.

"Not before I salute my sensei!"

And she was out of his grasp.

Neji felt the world coming to an end.

* * *

Tenten grinned and practically ran towards the booth she saw her sensei in.

Once she was in front of their table, she slapped her hands on the table and smirked rather evilly. "Why hello there Kakashi-sensei! Fancy meeting _you _here. I thought your only source of life was the filthy porn you read. You must have paid this pretty lady - maybe even blackmailed, you're so mean."

She turned to the woman and grinned, "Hi, I'm Tenten! And I feel really bad for you, if I could, I'd try and get you the hell away from Kakashi-sensei because he's a creeper and he reads porn."

She looked at the woman, she was so pretty. Purple hair in a messy looking bun, dark eyes full of mischief. And she had a nice rack! It was no wonder Kakashi was here with her. Honestly, Kakashi had no damn shame! He was probably trying to woo her into some sort of one-night stand. Tenten shook her head, turning back to Kakshi.

"Oi, I should get a passing grade this semester - not only do I have blackmail access in my hands as of now, but there's also the fact that I'm stuck with the Stupid Princess over there. It's torture, Kakashi-sensei. In all seriousness, that dude is so _uptight; _he's cramping up my style."

Tenten noticed the woman grin. She nodded, "He's making me have this prick with a pole up his ass as my penpal. Can you believe him, Pretty Lady."

Anko cackled. "I like you, kid."

"Thanks--"

"Tenten, please," Kakashi began but then he too was interrupted. Tenten thought it served him right for interrupting two pretty girls about to go into a nice conversation.

"Tenten, we're leaving."

She rolled her eyes. "Speaking of the lame devil. Seriously."

Tenten turned to look at her stupid (and taller, damn him) penpal. She raised an eyebrow when she caught him grimace at the Pretty Lady. "I haven't even gotten my damn burger, Hyuuga!"

* * *

_Forget your burger, this is the future of the _world_ at stake._

Neji had never thought himself to be the hero type, but now he was glad he never chose that way of life.

Because, this evidently proved he would _suck_ at it. He couldn't keep one girl from the woman who was more likely than that weird guy who had tried to take over the position of Hokage a few years ago from Oto Tech to take over the world.

He was going to go to hell.

He just _knew_ it.

* * *

Kakashi stared at his burger in a woebegone way.

There was no way he'd be able to eat it. Tenten and Anko would somehow destroy the world together before he would be able to take it in his hands and put it in his mouth.

* * *

Anko smiled dangerously at the girl with the buns (she'd heard the Hyuuga-that-thought-he-could-be-a-sama-too call her Tenten). "Hello there, kid. I am Anko-sama. You must be the girl that Little Hyuuga over there has been bitching about in class. I take it you're a handful. _Let's be friends_."

The girl grinned back at Anko, and Anko decided, right then and there, that she now had another partner in crime. This girl _clearly_ had potential. And it was only ever rarely that Anko found people who had _potential_. Hell, this girl could probably scare the living shit out of Itachi... and _that_ was saying something.

Anko grinned, and patted the seat next to her. "Sit down, kid, and ignore that horrible teacher of yours. He's a liar, and a pervert, and a _bad friend_."

Anko was quite pleased to hear both Kakashi and Neji groan. Ahh, how nice. Two birds with one stone, as it were. The purple-haired woman cackled quietly to herself, and took a rather large bite out of her burger. This night had turned out to be _far_ more productive then she'd originally thought it would be - and really, watching Neji squirm was likely the funniest thing Anko had seen in her whole entire life.

She decided to make it just a _little bit worse_ for the high-and-mighty Hyuuga. "So, Tenten, tell me - how did you manage to get His Highness to come to a place like this? Last time I heard, he didn't set foot in 'family restaurants', _ever_. I have to give you extra credit, for this one."

* * *

Tenten just found a new best friend, this she was positive of.

She took her seat next to Anko and smirked evilly at her sensei and that idiotic Hyuuga. She sucked on her piercing and listened to this woman _practically spit out _magic. Oh, this was so damn amazing. Oh how she loved this as of now. AND SHE THOUGHT KAKASHI WAS A LIAR, A PERVERT AND A BAD FRIEND. TEN POINTS.

"So, Tenten, tell me - how did you manage to get His Highness to come to a place like this? Last time I heard, he didn't set foot in 'family restaurants', _ever_. I have to give you extra credit, for this one."

Tenten began to cackle. "It wasn't _that _hard, Anko-_sama_. See, he had the nerve to insult me and then _challenged _me into a spar." Tenten waved the waiter over and gleamed when he brought her her milkshake. "Oh look, Princess, your glass of water. Anyway, so he challenged me. And I beat him, to put it simple. I mean, really. Now he's my slave and he's _buying me a damn burger or I'm shanking you._" She directed the last part to the quiet and stiff Hyuuga sitting next to Kakashi.

Neji, once again, grimaced.

Tenten turned back to Anko and grinned. "So... Are you the one who's taking up the task in shaking Kakashi-sensei up? Because you should see him in class now he's--"

"Wow, this burger is _really _delicious!" Kakashi exclaimed loudly.

Tenten narrowed her eyes and turned to him. "First of all, you haven't taken a bite! And secondly, you've interrupted me _twice _in one night - that's a death sentence, Kakashi-sensei!"

"We're leaving. NOW."

"HOLD YOUR DAMN HORSES, CINDERELLA! I'm eating my burger, _you're _paying and until each is done _we stay here._"

"Tenten."

"Shh, shh, shh. I don't want to hear it."

She could feel Neji glaring daggers at the "innocent" burger nestled in her hands as Tenten brought it up to her mouth. She gave a little moan as the ground beef just _melted_ in her mouth. The smell of the cheddar cheese just under her nose was almost _taunting_ her, so she turned her gaze to it and opened her mouth wide & bit down into the pugnant, succulent yellow cheese and perfectly-salted-and-seasoned beef.

* * *

Neji turned his glare onto the Set-Object-On-Fire-On-Impact as his pale eyes made visual contact with the object of Tenten's fits of happiness.

_And the way she was _eating_ the burger_.

All he wanted to do was leave. For some reason, he was sure that he was the only one who was now a _slave_ to his penpal (He chose to ignore the fact that he had made the Deal in the first place because Hyuuga's do not do Stupid Things). He was also pretty sure he was the only one stupid enough to lead an insane girl to a megalomaniac and allow them to possibly _bud_ and take over the world!

Tenten was still eating her burger as if it were ambrosia and nectar; as if it was necessary for life.

Dear Buddha, there was a trail of melted cheese flowing from her lips to her chin!

"You're such a fatass," he muttered under his breath.

He froze.

Maybe whoever was Up There made Tenten temporarily deaf. Maybe even permanently!

But considering the malevolent presence that was creeping upon him, his prayers had not been answered.

"What. Did. You. Say?"

Neji gulped.

* * *

That inconsiderate bastard!

He's called her a _what_?! Wasn't he, like, supposed to be polite or whatever?! He just called her a fatass. He's insinuated that she's _fat_.

Tenten stood up from her seat, ignoring Anko's curious and excited eyes and Kakashi's wary stare. She grabbed her burger, cradled it and let a malevolent grin appear on her plump lips. She looked up at Neji, big brown eyes blank, eyebrows drooping in an angry expression. Bah, she wasn't even angry- no, she was _furious_.

She leaned forward, the hand that was holding the burger pulled back. Her nostrils flared and she growled as she allowed the arm to skyrocket forwards and slam the burger in Neji's face, shoving it in his face and smirking. She heaved, breathed harshly; her head spun from all the anger that wanted to be unleashed.

"Learn how to fucking talk to a girl. Next time, I might just castrate your stupid dick off - that way a chastity ring won't even be needed. Bitch." She glared a glare that was as intense as the flames of a thousand suns and then turned to the two adults that stared at her with awe. "It was nice meeting you, Anko_-_sama, I do hope we meet again. See ya tomorrow Kakashi-sensei."

And she glared at Neji once again before she stormed out of Luffy's.

Once outside, Tenten started stalking to the bus stop. No way was _she_ going to ask that- that- name-calling, blind, stupid, weak JERK for a ride even if the stupid bus stop was a mile away. By this point, she didn't even care if she had to pay a hundred dollars as long as she got far and far away from that- that- that STUPID BOY.

She reached the bus stop and sat on the bench to sulk.

_And she didn't even get to eat her burger._ She could feel her eyes water as she remembered its taste and texture and-

Her eyes widened as she realized something.

She had given that name-calling, blind, stupid, weak JERK her burger!

And that fact on its own nearly made her cry.

* * *

To:dancelikenooneiswatching; runwaygoddess; moonsightdarklight; cherrylipssuperstar  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _I may have just committed a felony..._

So.

I seriously want out of this fucking stupid idiotic penpal shit. Like you guys have no fucking idea how fucking pissed I am as of now. I mean, really though. From the beginning, all I was trying to be was nice! And this fucking jackass was a complete and utter ass to me!

First he accused me of being homophobic and only doing fortunetelling on straight people. Then he challanged me into a spar - WHICH I WON - and the results were that he'd be my slave.

And I made him take me to Luffy's today, right.... AND HE CALLED ME A FATASS! HE CALLED ME FAT, YOU GUYS! I'M NOT FAT! I'M FUCKING FIT! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BASTARD'S PROBLEM!

Solution: I punched my burger in his face, shoved it there and dirtied him with all the ingredients.

But he practically _made _give him my burger. I DIDN'T GET TO EAT MY FUCKING BURGER.

FUCK. MY. LIFE.

-Tenten

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02; ramenkamisama1; sharkbaithoohaha; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _My penpal_

She's a loony.  
She punched me in the face with her burger.  
I am still washing my hair to get all the mayonnaise, lettuce, ketchup, and cheddar cheese out.

Anyone care to switch penpals?

-Neji

* * *

To:359degrees; foolishlittlebrother02; sharkbaithoohaha; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: ramenkamisama1  
_Subject: __My laughing_

OMFG.

I CAN'T EVEN FUCKING BREATHE. MY SIDES HURT SO MUCH FROM LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD.

THANKS FOR THE GOOD LAUGH, BARBIE-DOLL! THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I've never heard of someone getting punched in the face with a burger. BAHAHAHAHA.

THIS GIRL IS AWESOME.

-Naruto

* * *

To:359degrees; foolishlittlebrother02; WhoLetTheDogsOut; ramenkamisama1  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Dude. Seriously._

That is fucking hilarious. How fucking pathetic.

You got burger-punched. Dude, Neji... Dude...

I haven't laughed so hard in a while.

-Suigetsu

* * *

To:359degrees; ramenkamisama1; sharkbaithoohaha; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject: __No Subject_

You're an idiot, Hyuuga. But highly amusing.

Only you would piss a girl off enough to get yourself a free burger. In the face.

Ha.

-Sasuke.

* * *

.

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.

Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa:** this world is beautiful. just... so... beautiful. LMFAO, GUYS. (in oh-so-many ways.)  
**sonya: **for those who haven't tried it, writing neji is such a bitch-slash-female dog. but then i figured out the key is being socially stupid. so there's a tip! XD**  
les: **i love tenten. like so fricken much. it is not even funny. ISN'T SHE AMAZING. ADMIT IT, GUYS. SHE'S FRICKEN AMAZING. KTHXZBAI.


	6. how to be inaccurately accused of rape

Oh look. I get to do the upper AN's. Bahahaha. Thanks again for the support!  
**Disclaimer: **we don't own anything. except the attitudes. and the bike shop dude. those are ours.  
**Dedication: **to that fluffy feeling you get inside. and giggle fits. and flailing. because they're all epic.

**THE MOST IMPORTANT NOTE FROM SONYA (A.K.A. IGNORE THE TWO NOTES DOWN THERE **_-please excuse this interuption, Saraa says "LES AND SARAA MEAN IT. SRSLY."-_**)**: So I'm basically warning each & every one of you who has any survival instinct, that asking for more SasuSaku would get you blacklisted onto Saraa& Les's death-wish-list. I understand that we listed this under SasuSaku because they are the main pairing. But we do know where we're going with this & all of the other characters are necessary. This story is planned in Arcs & this chapter is the last of Arc i: Introductions. From here on out, it's going to be a roller coaster ride & you won't know what to expect. But, even as this gives it away, it's much more SasuSaku after this. Not completely but very much SasuSaku. We're simply asking for your patience because there's a reason there's a lot of SasuSaku stories out there- & other stories & novels & movies as well- that grip you. Most have similar endings, but it's the journey from Point A to Point B that makes it interesting. You could go straight or you can go from Point A to Point G to Point K to Point D to Point S to- well, you probably get where I'm going with this. The point is that we want to take you on the journey, but you have to let us lead you. We know the route & know it well. :) So just sit back, ladies & gents & enjoy the ride. :)

**_VERY IMPORTANT NOTE FROM SARAA WHICH IS TOTALLY MORE IMPORTANT THEN SONYA'S_**: Okay, so sonya says I should be nice about this, but frankly, I don't want to be, because I am _pretty freakin' irate_. Yes, we know you all want SasuSaku, but this story IS NOT exclusively about them. Also, we know what we're doing; if you think we don't have a plan, you're stupid. So please** _STFU_**, and you'll get what you want.**  
_A SECOND VERY IMPORTANT NOTE FROM MOI_**: Those of you who send us nice reviews are the loves of our lives. And now sonya's probably going to say something to make my bitchyness better. But I'm not going to apologize.

* * *

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.

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* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _BECAUSE I'M WEARING THESE GLASSES._

No, not really. But that video's funny. :D

Okay.

HI!

I'm Hokage and I like ramen! So… I'm trying to do two things at once and read the assignment paper and write my answers here. So sorry if I make any typos. The Teme calls me the King of Typos… and The Mutt calls me out on them by saying "TYPO MONSTER". It's sad.

Anyway.

As we can both see I am in college and I am awesome and you are too! So we can both be awesome together and make ourselves _epic_. I like eating ramen and hanging out with these idiots I call friends, OH and on weekends, I work at the video game store at the mall!

So…yeah.

It's a pleasure in meeting you, Miss!

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Er... Hello there?_

Nice to meet you, too, Hokage.

Uhm, I - I guess you can call me Snow White? I'm about to turn seventeen... My birthday is in December. Uh, I like hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows and whipped cream, playing piano, and reading by candle light. I'm in my senior year of highschool.

Oh, your friends... They don't sound very nice. I didn't see any typo's, so don't worry too much about it?  
On the friendship note; I have four wonderfully awkward best friends. They are Candii, Bombshell, Superstar, and Machete. And I love them. :]

Uh... email me back soon?

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Hi! _

Snow White? Like the Disney Princess? Do you look like her, coz if you do you're really pretty! And Aw, You're so young! I'm close to turning nineteen, My birthday's in October. I like... Well, other than ramen and my friends, I like playing video games and having drinking contests with The Mutt and Fish-Breath. Also, I like bugging The Teme.

Nah! They're cool most of the time; when we're fighting, it's just for minutes. You didn't?! OH YES! I'M IMPROVING!  
Hehe, they have funny and awesome names. I know Superstar - she's The Teme's pen-pal. And they bitch at each other a lot.

Um... So... for the project! Let's start with... what do you like to do and why.

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Why does there have to be a subject?_

Yes, like the Disney Princess. I... sort of used to look like her, and then I let my hair grow out. I am not young! I'm just not old, there's a difference. I don't play video games much... I don't really have the time for it.

Yeah, she was telling me about him yesterday... She doesn't like him too much. She was wondering if he's always that rude. Is he?  
Rude people are very irritating.

Uh, well, I like to play the piano... because it sounds beautiful (Chopin is my favourite composer). I like painting, because it's fun, and I like spending time with my friends, because they're amazing. Even if they do scare me sometimes.  
I dislike most of my family, because... well. Just because.

What about you?

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Because subjects are awesome!_

So you have long hair now? Is it straight... wavy... or curly? There's a difference...? Really? ...I don't see it. Can you tell me? Aw, I'm confused now... Oh, but you play?! If you do, which games? Personally I love Resident Evil and Assassins Creed. And I play Mario every now and then.  
Why don't you have time anymore Snowy-chan?

The Teme? Well, he's like that at first, if he doesn't know you. He could be a complete and utter ass. But once he gets to know you, his jerkiness goes down to a minimum and he actually haves decent conversations. Sometimes, when he doesn't even know it himself, he lets his guard down and acts like one of us. I should know, he's my best friend.  
Rude people are funny. I like pissing them off. Coz it's funny.

So you play the piano. Do you play Mozart? He's actually the only dude I know... Oh you paint? What'cha do? Portraits, nature-stuff, abstracts...? You and your friends, what do you do? As in shopping or just hanging out for fun?  
Why do you dislike your family?

I live with my parents, as lame as that sounds; but my mom's so set on keeping me close which sucks. I usually hang out at The Teme's house where we play video games; and if I'm not there we're playing Resident Evil online! We're the best in the country! Sometimes we go clubbing, and by we I mean The Mutt, Fish-Breath and when we can, we force The Teme and the Barbie-Doll with us.  
But they're lame and only sit in the bar and drink. And they both know how to hold their alcohol so it's kind of boring.

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Really? They get kind of tiresome... "no subject, no subject, no subject"_

Yeah, my hair is long... Reaches the middle of my back, straighter than straight, and blue-ish-purple-ish-black. Sort of.  
The difference is... is that I'm just not young, but I'm not old. I just exist as I am.  
I love Mario. I like old school Nintendo, it's the most fun (blame Superstar, she got me hooked). :D  
...Snowy...-chan? Asgjkl.

Nnghn, apparently he really irks her.  
Rude people... I can not abide rudeness. It makes me... twitch, a little.

I have played Mozart, and Brahms, and Beethoven, and - er, well, most of the greats. I paint... everything? I guess? I don't really ever think about what I paint...  
We shop a lot, we laugh at lot, we go to Candii and Bombshell's dance recitals, we avoid my family, we have sleep-overs and watch chick flicks and eat ourselves sick on ice cream... We have fun, I guess.  
I... don't like my family because I just don't. They - I - We've just - just never gotten along. Ever. I'm a little too alternative for their tastes.

Best in the country? That's cool. :]  
Eh, my cousin can hold his liquor pretty well, from what I remember... But once you give him tequila, his clothes fall off. He can't handle his tequila.  
I'm... kinda of scared of clubbing, if that makes sense? I get dragged down to Akatsuki often enough, tho', because Superstar and Candii and Bombshell love it... Machete is very against clubbing. Actually, she's kind of against anything that involves debauchery (unless it involves weapons and burgers. Because Machete is just scary like that.)

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _...we don't have to do subjects if you don't want to...._

Huh. Your hair sounds really pretty. I'm just a blond. Although, The Mutt's saying my hair's getting shaggy now rather than spiky and all over the place.  
Hey, I like that view. You know, if more people thought like that, this world would be nicer. Go Green! ...Right, Sorry.  
I like playing Mario, too! When all five of us are together we tend to play Mario Party 8 on the Wii. Though the Barbie-Doll refuses to play sometimes and rather just uses the internet.  
Yeah, Snowy-chan. It sounds nice, don't ya think? ...You don't like it? I can stop if you'd like...

Hah, that's The Teme for you. He'll cool down in a while. Unless she's irking him too, then they're just gonna irk each other until this project's over.  
Well, if you ask me, anyone that is rude to you, Snowy-chan, is just plain stupid. You seem nice and polite and you don't deserve to be treated wrong! No girl is!

Wow! You must be really good at playing then! Maybe some day, I'll be able to hear! When I paint, I go all out! I draw some kickass ninjas and these awesome monsters!  
Dance recitals? What, they do ballet? Or something else? Haha, you guys seem to have a lot of fun.  
Well, if they don't like the way you are then they aren't worth it, even if they are your family. They're supposed to accept you the way you are and not try to change you. That's what my mom always says!

Yeah! We are so fricken pwnsm it's not even funny! XD  
Really? Ha, that sounds super hilarious. I think I'm gonna give The Teme and The Barbie-Doll some Tequila and see how they handle it. I should charge my camera before that, too.  
Yeah, it makes sense. I mean, there are people groping and having dry sex and junk. I suppose it can get scary when it all gets outta hand. Superstar, Candii and Bombshell sound like part time party animals. And Machete... sounds scary. She doesn't have any knives on her on a daily basis, does she?

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _No, it's okay, random subjects are kind of fun. :)_

My hair is just... mrrflr. I wish I had blond hair. Something brighter then what I have... yeah. Your hair is supposed to be spiky and all over the place? I think that's... kind of cute. Giggle.  
...Have you been watching Disney commercials, by some chance?  
It's just... I'm- kind of... shy? And I... blush easily. I'm not very good - at, at taking compliments. It's - okay, you didn't know. You can call me Snowy-chan if you want, I guess.

I think she's probably irking him, too, because Superstar likes getting under rude people's skin.  
...blushblushblush.

I could, well, I guess I could record something, if you really wanted to listen. I have a friend who could probably help.  
We do have a lot of fun. :]  
That's kind of why I avoid them. They don't like me. I think your mom sounds pretty nice. What's she like?

Pwnsm? Really?  
Just be careful, because guys who can't handle their tequila... they're very awkward when they're drunk.  
It _is_ scary, and it's just not really my scene. Superstar spends too much time interning at the hospital, but yeah, Candii and Bombshell like to party. Machete always keeps knives on her. _Always_. That's why Candii calls her an asylum escapee.

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _M'kay. I like fun stuff ;D_

Nah, I bet your hair is really pretty! Yeah, my hair's usually wild and all over the place... but now, in Fish-Breath's faggish words, "the spikes are droopy and shaggy". Haha, you think that's cute? I might just go cut it, then!  
Ugh, yes! They're all over the place! I mean, I understand, Save the earth! Yay, woopdeedoo! But God, they're all over the place!  
...You're shy? I wouldn't have noticed if you didn't point that out. Wait... Does that mean I made you blush? Aw! That's so cool!

Yeah, then they're gonna irk each other to kingdom come. Unless they start... something.... off. Which is unlikely since this is The Teme and from what I've read of their emails, Superstar has a boyfriend.  
Hahaha. You're blushing again. If I could, I'd give you a hug. You seem like those huggable type of people.

Ooh, if you were to do that, that'd be super cool. Hey, what kind of music are you into? Is it just classical or are you into different genres?  
Well since they don't like you, they suck. My mom's loud and really funny. And she likes ramen too! She's also the type that can't let things go (i.e. me.) and she speaks her mind.

Yeah, pwnsm. Haven't you heard of that term?  
Uh... What, are they gonna go gay and start groping guys or something? Huh, maybe theyll make out and I can record that and use it for blackmail when they're being douches to me.  
When to put it that way, from what I've gathered so far, it really _isn't _your scene. Machete... Yeah, she is _so _not the girl to mess with. I feel sorry for whatever douche landed with her. She's going to slit their throat or something! Which would be funny.  
And her being called an asylum escapee makes me think of the Joker and the new Batman video game. Bahaha.

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _I am not liking computer class. Second last period before I can go home..._

My hair- it's... really not. Really. It's just... really long, and gets in the way a lot. Actually, that reminds me, I need to grab a hair tie from Bombshell...  
My younger sister thinks they're really amusing. It's, uh, how can I put this politely... Hanabi, well, she's kind of a thirteen-year-old genius. It's a little alarming, because she's normally so cynical about everything else...  
Agh, you're gonna make me blush again! I- I guess... the best way to put it... is that, well, my skin is really fair. Almost - almost white (hence my nickname). So I blush really easily. It's... kind of problematic.

Superstar's boyfriend... Please don't talk to me about him. I _despise_ that boy. (I dislike using that word, so it's a big thing, coming from me, apparently.)  
BLUSH. I blush a lot, okay? Hugs are nice, 'tho.

I listen to everything. _Everything_. Machete gave me the newest 30 Seconds To Mars CD a while ago, so I've been listening to that almost constantly... 3OH!3, Metallica, and Lady Gaga are also on my Favourites List. :]  
I think I'd like your mom. She sounds fun.

No, I... really haven't. Giggle.  
Well, I remember once, my cousin ended up naked on our roof after eight too many shots of tequila... And, if I remember correctly, there was something that involved squirrels. Machete stole my camera and got pictures - my cousin thinks he destroyed all the evidence, but he doesn't know how determined Machete can be.  
(I love that movie.)

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _I don't like my math lectures. Math sucks a lot._

I'm gonna be stubborn and say your hair is pretty. You're a very pretty girl (yes, I do know we haven't even met) and you shouldn't think otherwise!  
Whoa, your younger sister sounds like she could be related to The Barbie-Doll and The Teme. And Disney is funny, but after a while it makes me want to, like, shoot myself.  
Hah, I'm gonna go ahead and say that I feel awesome in making you blush. Wow, your skin's.... I'm tanned.... bah, I'd look _really _tanned if I were to stand next to you. But I blame it on football.

Really? Is he a total douche bag? Does he need a beating? Coz there's seems to be a lot of douche bags around lately. (Whoa, then this _is _serious.)  
It's okay, you probably look cute doing it! Okay, if we ever meet, I'll make sure to hug ya. :D

That's cool. I listen to a variety, too! I like 3OH!3 and Lady Gaga, too. Along with Jimmy Eat World and Red Hot Chili Peppers.  
Haha, I like my mom too. You can meet her someday! I bet she'll like you lots.

Huh. Well, you'll be learning a lot of random slang with me, Snowy-chan!  
Whoa, whoa, whoa. That is beyond embarrassing. And almost kill-worthy hilarious. Oh my, and squirrels are involved too?! Even more hilarious. Damn, can Machete share some of that gloriously epic evidence? I'd love a good laugh!  
(Batman's my idol!)

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _I'm... not bad at math..._

Hah, you have no idea what I look like! How can you tell if I'm pretty or not (I'm not. I'm just... average. I like average.)  
Thats... er, kind of scary. I love Disney. Especially all the old films! I think Sleeping Beauty was my favourite... and I've always loved Alice In Wonderland. It was my mother's favourite, so it's always been a little more special then all the others combined. :]  
I'd probably just look like a ghost next to you... I look like a ghost next to most people, anyways. Sigh.

He - yes, he does need a beating. Or two. Or eight.  
And I'd turn the colour of a fire hydrant. Really, my blushing is almost _painful_.

I love Jimmy Eat World! Music is kind of... I don't even know. It's something that you never forget. Kind of like riding a bicycle. You never forget how to balance once you've learned, you know?  
I would like that. :]

I... don't know _any_ slang. Well, I do... It's just - just kind of boring.  
Yeah, those pictures are hanging around Machete's apartment, I think. I could check.  
(I think everyone wants Batman to come and save the world. Or at least go to Gotham City.)

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsighdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Really? I suck at it. I'm kinda better in English._

I know I don't. But I bet you're pretty. Call it... instincts? And even if you are average, you're pretty.  
It is - I'd feel sorry for your sister if she was, though. I like _some _of their stuff; I like Alice in Wonderland and The Lion King AND PETER PAN... Did something happen to your mother, Snowy-chan?  
Meh, I think you'd look... _ethereal_. Like a snow-princess.

SOMEONE SHOULD GIVE THAT JACKASS A BEATING THEN!  
Haha, I'll take your word for it. I'd still do it, though.

Yeah! What's your favorite song?! Mines is The Middle. Music is life, music makes the world go 'round. Music... is release. ....I don't know how to ride a bike. My dad passed away a long while ago and my mom thinks they're evil. So no one taught me. When I asked the Teme.... Let's just say it was the first time I ever saw him laugh so hard. I heard babies crying. Anyway, yeah. I can't ride bikes.  
I'd like it too! It be great!

You think slang is boring?! That's a first - well, The Teme and The Barbie-Doll find it stupid too, but still.  
Oh wow. She sounds super cool. Hahaha. And those pictures. Must. See.  
(I like the Joker better, personally. He's super cool.)

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _I'm pretty good at math. Math and music and art. That... doesn't make much sense, does it?_

I'm just... just average! Really!  
Peter Pan always makes me sad. It's - it's just... tragic and perfect and beautiful. My mother... she died a long, long time ago.  
...That's... that's a nice thought. I'd like being a Snow Princess.

I know. We've tried - well, _everything_ to get Superstar to dump him...  
And you'd probably accidentally kill me.

Right now it's Me With No You by Bowling For Soup. Music is life.  
You... you can't ride a bike? But it's... it's so easy! (It's not nice that he laughed. Tell him I dislike him, because he's mean.) Maybe... do you... well... I guess I could - I just... Do you want me to teach you to ride a bike?

Well, not _boring_, precisely, but - agh, I don't know how to put it... I'm a little, uh, a little scared of it? I don't even think that's the right description...  
You don't even know him! XD How would it help?  
(the Joker scares the living daylights out of me. He's so... so scary... Shudder.)

Sincerely,  
Snow White

* * *

To:moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _It doesn't but that's okay. _

Pretty fly for a shy girl! :D  
Peter Pan _was _a sad movie; I got mopey after I first watched it, that's what my mom said, at least. I hate what Disney did with it - making a second movie and having Wendy grown and married. Tch. I'm sorry about your mother, Snowy-chan.  
I like that thought, too. And you'd be an amazing Snow Princess.

She's rather stubborn then! She can't continue being with someone like that!  
And then.... I'd give you CPR?

I haven't heard that one, I might just go listen to it. Music _is _life.  
No, I can't ride a bike. At all. And it's not easy! It's hard! (Meh, I was too surprised at hearing him laugh to be angry at him for making fun of me. But I'll give him your regards.) ...You'd do that for me?! You'd teach me?! Really?! SNOWY-CHAN YOU'RE THE BEST!

....Scared of slang....? Why? Is it because you might mess up and say one thing that means another?  
Because it'd still be a pretty damn hilarious thing to see.  
(He is scary. But he's still awesome and clever.)

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Is love watching someone die?_

You're funny. :]  
I fell in love with the book... The first Disney movie was good, but I was disappointed when they - when they made that horrible excuse for a sequel. Why do they always ruin originals by making horrible sequels?  
It's okay. It was a long time ago. She was the most amazing woman I've ever met, tho'.  
Ngghn, I - I don't think I'd be so good. The Shyness, remember?

Well, she can... and she does... But I wish she wouldn't.  
I would probably be put in the hospital, if you did that. I - I'm just... I can't even - explain it. I don't know _how_.

I'll teach you. Riding a bike is a life skill, Hokage. (Is your best friend normally that, uh, emotionally constipated? Because that sounds _exactly_ like my cousin...)

It's... I guess it is that. I'm - terrified of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. It's really, really scary, for me, I guess.  
Heh, I'll see what I can do. I think Machete has them stuffed in her sock drawer, that weirdo...  
(Everytime he shows up on screen in The Dark Knight, I have this bad habit of clamping my hands over my mouth... He scares me as much as Chucky does, And - that little doll... he's - he's damn scary.)

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _No, love is protecting those you care about._

Thanks! I like making people laugh. It's awesome.  
I haven't read the book, actually, I didn't even know they had one. I should go to the library more often. I know, right? I mean, I actually liked The Lion King 2. But still.... they fail so much sometimes. They ruin things by making sequels, Snowy-chan, because they want to make more money.  
Bah, the shyness would only make you prettier! You'd make a great Snow Princess, Snowy-chan.

Meh, I don't even know them and I wish she wouldn't either. I suppose if he's an ass she deserves someone better.  
Really? I wouldn't want you to go to a hospital! But I'd like to give you a hug too! ...This is a killer one.

Really?! When? I'll be there! Just name the place, the date, and the time and I will so be there! I bet it is.... Huh, is swimming a life skill, Snowy-chan? (The Teme? Bah, most of the time he's just serious in this emo kind of way. But sometimes he smirks when me or Fish-Breath or The Mutt do something stupid. And when The Barbie-Doll does something stupid, he chuckles. He's a weird guy, but he's my best friend. :D)

Don't be scared, Snowy-chan! Not everyone gets it right the first time!  
Bahaha. Machete... Is really awesome. She also sounds scary. But still.  
(Oh why? The Joker's awesome! Hey, maybe after you teach me to ride a bike, we can watch The Dark Knight! You can hold my hand if you get scared of the Joker. Chucky made me laugh. A lot. He was so ugly and just.... not scary.)

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Then how come we always end up watching the ones that we love die?_

You're good at it, you know - making people laugh. I always giggle when I read your replies, and Kakashi-sensei - he looks at me like I'm entirely crazy.  
Ruining things for money... Uh... that's just... it's sick.  
My shyness... DX It's, uh, well, it's kind of the - the bane of my existence?

She _does_ deserve someone better - she just can't see it. It kills all of us (me, Candii, Machete [only, not so much Machete, because she just doesn't care], Bombshell...), inside, slowly.  
See? I get hugs, and then I turn into the Faint-Monster. It's so - so ridiculous.

Uh, uh, well, I- I don't really know... When are you free? Yes, swimming is a Life Skill!  
(You sound - uhm, really close to him?)

Nnghn. I _need_ to get it right. I'm just - I - well, I kind of... have... issues.  
She's _is_ scary... She's the tanigle form of "That girl is my best friend. Break her heart, and I'll break your face. :]"  
(I'd probably be squeaking like a mouse, and hiding my face in a pillow. Or something. I am such a coward, sometimes...)

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To:moonisghtdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Because we're humans and we're complete idiots._

Am I really? Bahaha, that's really cool! Beh, you should stare at him with a what-he's-adorable-go-away look. :D  
That's how corporations work, Snowy-chan. It's sick and gross but people always fall for it.  
But Snowy-chan, I find your shyness really cute. Reading about it makes me smile like a complete dorkatron.

Yes, she does. She should open her eyes about that topic soon before she gets hurt. If he's a complete ass to her, you best believe he's going to break her heart sooner or later.  
Meh, maybe I'll just hug you every other minute until you become accustomed to it. If you faint, I'll just give you CPR or make you smell alcohol.

I'm freeeeeeee.... Saturday in the morning. I think my shift at the store starts at 2PM so yeah. I that okay with you? Cool, coz I thought my awesome skills at swimming were just a waste!  
(The Teme and me? Yeah! We've known each other for the longest time!)

Are you the type of person that likes to be right? Like, do you have that problem that if you don't win or you're not right you'll basically go crazy on the topic until you're an expert?  
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'll make sure _not _to do any of that while we email each other. I kinda like my face.  
(It's okay to be a coward sometimes, Snowy-chan! If you can't handle it, you shouldn't force yourself to it.... My mom owns The Notebook. So. Yeah.)

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _an intervention. break her heart, we break your face._

Hi!  
This is Superstar (You know, Thunder-whose-email-you-hacked's penpal?).  
So we were just in the computer lab and Candii and Bombshell was sitting right next to Snow White who was checking her email.  
The next thing Candii and Bombshell knew, Snow White had fainted.  
But everything's alright now. :)  
Because while she was out, we tied her up and commandeered her email account and computer to see what made her faint.  
And based on your emails, you have captured our Snow White's heart.  
Now, I don't know what you know about me, but I am an intern at the Konoha General Hospital.  
The Poison Control Squad, to be specific.  
And if you don't want to be poisoned like a rat, you should treat "Snowy-chan" with more respect and care than you treat your own mother.  
Understood?

Bah! Forget all the cordiality.  
Listen here, douche. If you think you have a chance to mess with a senior-girl-in-high-school's heart, a pig has a better chance in flying. Because if you do something to hurt her, if you make her cry, if you make her _faint_, I _will _hunt you down. I _will _shove my katana up your ass so deep that you won't be able to walk. I _will _shank you. I _will _make a mess out of you. So you better decide now if you're for real. If you're not, keep the mush you guys are talking to a complete zero and deem this solely for business.  
-Machete

....OMFG.  
Okay, I probably should go through the customary "hurt her, and I'll hunt you down"... but here's the thing: Machete did it better then I ever could. So I'm just gonna squeal.  
YOU WILL BE MY HERO FOREVER AND FOREVER IF YOU MAKE HER HAPPY, BECAUSE SHE DESERVES IT MORE THEN ANYONE.  
MAKE HER HAPPY. DO IT. DO IT.  
Or you will find four _very_ angry teenaged girls on your hands. We have the means to find you. And Machete has the means to hurt you. :)  
(but don't worry. I'm totally cheering for you. :D  
and don't worry too much about Superstar. She's full of hot air.)  
-Candii

P.S. Superstar again. I AM NOT FULL OF HOT AIR. I could even get permission from my superior-slash-aunt, Doctor Tsunade. You know her? Yeah, I bet you're shaking in your boots.  
Well.  
She's ultrafeminist & if you break a girl's heart, she'll let me break a few laws to kick your sorry ass.

.....OH SQUEE! OMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFG.  
Okay, that's out of my system now. Huh, I suppose I should go all "RAWR, I'MMUNA EAT CHOO IF CHOO HURT STUTTERBUG!" But I think I'll leave that to Machete, just coz she's scarier. I TOTALLY APPROVE OF YOU. SERIOUSLY. GO FOR IT. TAKE HER HEART AND PLEASE DON'T BREAK IT. SERENADE HER. TAKE HER OUT. BE HER FRIEND. BE HER LOVER. BE HER EVERYTHING. BE THE PRINCE CHARMING TO HER SNOW WHITE. OMFG. I FOUND MY NEW OTP.  
Look, honey, I'm opening the door for you here. I'd like to think that you're a sweet guy. It's either you come in, befriend us, make Stutterbug happy and life continues. OR you could come in, befriend us, screw up and then we can go all Powerpuff Girls on you. Your choice.  
BUT OMFG. YES. THIS IS SOOOOO AMAZING. I'M CHEERING TOO!  
-Bombshell

* * *

To:moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _I__ like my face the way it is. I like her heart the way it is, too._

So. Uh. Hi.

Yeah.

I didn't really have the intentions of breaking anyone's heart. I'm not all that good at that, really. I'm not even sure.... I'm confused, actually.

Also, I'm mildly scared right now and I'm not even sure if I care enough for my grade to continue doing all this. So, like, hi, yeah. No katana-shoving, no mess-making, no poison-doing. Please. And.... uh......

...Wait... Snowy-chan fainted?! Is she okay?! Did she hit herself on anything?!

-Hokage

P.S. I liked the Powerpuff Girls before Cartoon Network took it off. And Superstar, I have no idea what you're talking about. Cough.

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Oh, damn, I'm going to _KILL_ them for this._

Omigosh, I'm so sorry. I - well, they probably told you I passed out.  
WHICH I DIDN'T.  
I kind of... blushed my head off, and they asked what was wrong, and then they read it, and... yeah.  
(Or I might have blacked out, for a - a few seconds. BUT I'M SURE I DIDN'T.)  
But they DID tie me to a chair and tape my mouth shut to muffle the screaming, so they could send you that email.

I'm... really, really sorry.  
And I would... would totally understand if you - you didn't want to email me anymore.  
I know my friends can be, uhm, a little bit scary.

(Tho', if you still want me to teach you to ride a bike... Meet me at the park on 17th at nine-thirty?  
I'll make - _SURE_ that the crazies don't show?)

Still really, really sorry.  
Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To:moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Bahaha. Don't hurt them too much._

Yeah, they said you passed out. I kinda got worried! Are you okay? Did you get hurt?  
Wait, so did you faint or you didn't? I'm confused... But is it mean of me to find it funny that they basically put you in that typical hostage-pose?

It's alright, you don't need to apologize. I think it's pretty cool that your friends are looking out for you.  
No, Snowy-chan! No, don't ever think that! I love talking to you - I was just... that was my scared side talking there. I think I'd endure your friends as long as I can talk to you!

(I'll be there, Snowy-chan! And to show you my gratitude, I'll take you out to lunch!  
And please do so. I'll end up killing myself or getting killed if they do come.)

Apology totally already accepted.

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _I have the right! They do this too much!_

Well. I'm... not actually sure. I might have passed out for a minute or two...  
But I didn't get hurt.  
DX I don't blame you for, well, for thinking it's funny. Because it kind of is, I guess. It's also completely ridiculous.

It's just... they do it _all the time_. And I love them, but they go all momma-bear protective on me when boys appear. I have a sneaking suspicion it might have something to do with my cousin, actually... That's something he'd do.  
I don't blame your scared side. Actually, I think that's your self-preservation talking. And thanks, that makes me... more then happy. :]

(You don't have to do that! I- I- no, you really don't have to!  
Don't worry. They're all thinking about Bombshell's date that afternoon. I doubt we have anything to worry about. :])

Okay. That's good.  
I was... kinda worried, you know? They can really be... over the top.

Sincerely,  
Snow White

* * *

To:moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Only coz they care!_

Aw! I'm sorry. That's totally my fault. In all seriousness. I should be more careful in what I type.  
I'm glad you didn't, then I wouldn't of been able to forgive myself.  
Yeah, the way I pictured it made it funnier, too. Though I don't think I did you any justice; you're probably prettier than what I imagined.

Haha, that's really nice of them... though they should.... make the threats a minimum. Seriously, Machete is _scarier _than you made her sound. Your cousin's like that? Really? Oh my... Am I gonna get my ass whooped or something?  
My scared side doesn't come out as much. Just... it's the fact that you're a girl and I can't defend myself against girls. And yeah. I'm glad I made you happy, Snowy-chan!

(Well. I'm doing it nonetheless. Please say you'll accept!  
Bombshell has a date? Huh, well I'm glad because then I'm out of the danger zone.)

You don't have to worry. I'd still be here if they... did something.... Um. Yeah.

-Hokage

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwaygoddess; runwithskizzors  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _I am going to kill you all. Even you, Tenten._

Ino, you have a date Saturday afternoon.  
Spend all morning getting ready for it.

Because I'm going to meet Hokage at the park on Saturday morning.

And I _**SWEAR TO GOD**_, if I see _ANY_ of you there, I _will_ find a way to make you lives miserable.  
I WILL.

DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND?!

NOT VERY SINCERELY,  
-Hina-chan

* * *

Hinata sat on the swing, in the middle of the park. Her fingers curled around the cold metal links, and the early September breeze ruffled the cream-with-purple-polka-dots skirt she was wearing. She was glad she'd opted for the pale mauve swearing she was wearing - it cut the cold better then most jackets. She tucked a random strand of hair behind her ear, and eyeballed the area around her.

The girls hadn't gotten back to her - even now, Hinata kept self-consiously checking her BlackBerry. If those little rats emailed her back, she'd know _right away_. And she'd set them straight even if they so much as _thought_ about showing up.

There _was_ a reason that all the other girls were terrified of shy, sweet little Hinata.

But most of the time, they were too busy protecting her virtue to remember that she really _could_ take care of herself - her father and Neji had been particularly strict about that point. So they really had nothing to worry about (in fact, if something bad were to happen, it would be the person attacking her who they ought to be worried about... Hinata was not the kind of girl who liked to be trifled with).

So now she sat on this swing, her brain very unfocused. It was quiet around her, save for the slight rustling of leaves, and the slowly growing sound of someone walking towards her. Hinata looked up -she forced herself to not be hopeful; she was _not_ hoping that he'd show up on time-, and felt her heart try to beat it's way out of her chest when she caught sight of oddly shaggy-spikey blond hair.

* * *

Naruto wasn't going to lie to himself, he was nervous.

Bah, he was beyond nervous - he was.... he was... _something worse than nervous, yeah_. He ran his hand through his droopy spikes out of pure nervousness, making his wild hair even messier.

What if her friends actually came...? What - oh good ramen-god... what if they _attacked _him when he gave Snowy-chan that hug he said he was going to give her if they ever met?! Naruto's cerulean-blue eyes widened and he couldn't help but gulp rather loudly.

He walked down the path to the entrance of the park, eyes cast low as he pondered to himself. Naruto was a flirt, yes. But he was the kind that flirted lightly and rather tried to woo the girl so he could _keep _her; not like the stupid Mutt and the idiot Sharkbait in which they whored themselves around with any girl with a pretty face and a nice rack. Naruto was... He was told he was sweet and funny and he knew how to use his skills well.

Okay, sure, he was a big dork and sometimes he was told (by Sasuke-teme most often, but sometimes Neji, too) that he lived by the expression of 'open mouth, insert foot'. No, Naruto did _not _understand what that meant or _how _he was related to such a funny and stupid thing to say; but they would usually say it when his tongue would slip and say something around the lines of 'OI, MUTT, THAT REDHEAD YOU WERE EXCHANGING SPITS WITH LAST NIGHT WAS REALLY FUCKING HOT' in front of one of Kiba's many catches. But whatever, Naruto usually always smiled and pretended he understood.

Anyway.

The point was that he was kinda nervous now; did he... oh god, did he put his boxers _under _his jeans this time?

Almost frantically, Naruto lowered his eyes to look at himself and couldn't help but sigh in relief when his blue eyes clashed with the dark material of his skinnies. Okay, he hasn't lost it completely. Awesome.

By the time he looked up again, Naruto was in the middle of the park and he couldn't help but stop in his place once his stare landed on a girl with prettyprettybeautiful ink-like hair and gorgeous silver-white eyes. And Naruto knew this was the Snow Princess he had imagined.

* * *

Hinata's hands were shaking. _Ohgodohgodohgod_.

The boy stopped in front of her, his hands stuck in his pockets (ohh, tight pants, Ino would flail and sigh dramatically "_OH EM GEE,_ _hawt_!!!" Hinata mentally damned her friends), and he grinned hugely at her. "Hi! You wouldn't happen to be Snow White, would you?"

Hinata flushed, and nodded, a slow smile on her lips. Oh mai. He was _pre-tteh_. He was the human equivalent of a lazy summer's day - tanned skin, blue eyes the colour of deep sky, and hair as golden as the sun's rays. "Yeah, h-hi. Uh, you sh-should call me Hinata."

She couldn't help but blush when he gave her what Hinata was now labeling the most beautifulest smile ever. She couldn't help but blush cherry-red.

* * *

Naruto grinned at her confirmation.

"Really?! That's great!" His smile grew, if possible as he gently pried one of her hands away from the swings' metal holder-thing (_not important, not important - SHE'S SO PRETTY!_) and helped her up to her feet. Yes, yes he did see her flushing, but he didn't mind; she looked beautiful. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a bear hug, swinging her around in the air.

"I'm Naruto!" He said once he set her down.

* * *

He set Hinata down gently, close to his chest, like a tiny piece of china. She looked up at him, the blush still staining her cheeks the colour of the most brilliant sunset. He was almost a full head taller then she was. Silently damning both her height and her stutter, she said "It's n-nice to meet you, N-Naruto-kun."

He grinned down at her, teeth flashing against his darkly tanned skin.

The blush returned full force, as Hinata forced herself to take a step away from his chest -god, he smelled _amazing_-, away from where his arms could wrap around her shoulders again. Friends. They had to start off as friends. Otherwise Hinata wasn't sure her heart could take this whole thing. It might hurt too much.

But even as she stepped away, she reached a hand out to him, and said, her voice gentle against the September breeze "Do y-you still w-want me to teach you to - to ride a bike?"

He whooped, grabbed her outstretched fingers, and practically dragged her towards the bike rental shop that was just within the park's borders (that same shop was part of the reason Hinata had told him to meet her here - that, and it was open enough that if her crazy-bitch friends _did_ show up, she'd have enough time to get Naruto away from them, without getting him killed in the process). The old, cheerful guy at the counter smiled at the both of them, and made a comment about how _it's nice to see kids your age doing simple things_.

Hinata turned redder then she had been before, and shot a glance out of the corner of her eye, at Naruto. Asgjkl, too cute.

* * *

Naruto didn't really understand what the hell the happy ol' man was talking about; not that he cared or anything. He just continued to smile and fill out whatever it was the man was asking for. It wasn't long before a bike was handed to them.

Naruto grew stiff as his blue eyes stared at the black piece of metal-junk.

Okay, so... Since his mother had thought bikes were evil, and Sasuke-teme was too busy laughing his ass off to really help out, Naruto had tried to teach himself. The outcome of that self-learning experience? Six stitches on his scalp and a scar on his elbow.

Ever since then, Naruto avoided bicycles like the plague.

Actually, he hadn't even remembered this little phobia while talking to Snow White - err, Hinata. It barely came to him now that he saw the blasted thing parked before him. Naruto sneered at it and, hopefully unnoticeably, inched away from it.

But Hinata was observant and, with a small and shy smile, she watched Naruto's one-sided battle. She had to bite her tongue from letting her giggles escape her. With all the confidence she could muster, Hinata took a hold of the bike and led it outside; hopefully Naruto'd follow her instead of running away.

He did.

"Ne, Hinata-chan, I think this was a bad idea. How about we return the forsaken thing and just hang out or something?" Naruto ran a hand through his shaggy hair, an embarrassed expression on his face. Ramen-god, was he such a coward, but the last thing he wanted was for the both of them to end up in the hospital; he with another case of stitches-needed and she... well... she because he remembered her saying so in one of the emails.

"R-running away... from your problems w-won't solve anything, N-Naruto-kun."

He stopped and turned to look at her with an unreadable expression for what felt like a long time. Naruto placed rested his hands atop his head and pouted, looking away as he closed his eyes to complete his pout. "Bah, I'm not running away, Hinata-chan! I'm refusing to talk to the problem because last time I tried to solve it, it was rude enough to land me with stitches."

At the soft, wind-chime-like giggles, Naruto froze and snapped his eyes open. And when he turned to look at her, he couldn't help but let a blush of his own claim his cheeks.

_She was so prettyyyyyyyyyy_.

* * *

Aw, he was _actually_ scared! Hinata couldn't help herself, really - he was just too cute. "It's o-okay, Naruto-kun. I-I'm right h-here. And I p-promise, I w-won't let you f-fall, or h-hurt. _P-promise_."

She slipped her hand into his -very nearly fainted, too, because even hand-holding was strangely foreign to her; he was older and he was adorable and he was, well, _different_-, and very gently pulled him and the bike along. She set her delicate jaw, and smiled out "I'm _g-going_ to teach you t-to ride a bike. C'mon."

They walked, hands loosely clasped together, back into the park, Hinata carefully wheeling the bike at her left side with one hand. She caught the wary looks Naruto kept sending towards the it - there was something that was mixed between extreme dislike, and just a little fear.

She led him back to the swing-set. She'd never taught anyone to ride a bike before - but, it couldn't be that hard, right? Her mother had taught her, when she'd been alive, and Hinata could remember how her mother had smiled when she'd finally mastered the art of staying up straight.

Hinata also remembered the elation, and then after, the simple pleasure of the wind rushing through her hair.

"Let's s-start, okay?" she said, and offered him the bike with a smile.

* * *

That thing needed to _die_.

Naruto's blue eyes widened as she offered him the bike and it took every bit of Manly Power within him not to drop her hand and run away like a madman. But her hand... it was smaller, covered by his and it was so warm and dainty and... Naruto gulped.

What to do, what to do.

Fail at the stupid bike thing and embarrass himself to Kingdom Come, or run off like a coward and never see Hinata again?

Naruto thought that the latter wouldn't be all that possible after this one single meeting. And the former was just as impossible. So now... Naruto was stumped. He darted his eyes to her face, watching the light blush on her cheeks, silver-white eyes looking at him before gluing themselves on the bike.

What... should he do...?

"Erm..."

"Na-Naruto-kun..." Hinata gave him a soft, shaky smile, "it's... alright."

He ran a hand through his hair and pursed his lips. "I look like a complete dork, don't I?" He shook his head and chuckled, walking towards the bike. "Ah, what the hell. If I fall, I won't go any lower than the ground."

He swung his left leg over the bike, and hovered over it, hands on the handlebars. When he tried to raise his feet to the pedals, he... wobbled and almost fell; he laughed nervously and tried to ignore Hinata's concerned yet bashful stare.

Right now it was just him and the Devil's Ride.

One on One.

Mano a Mano.

And he was _so _gonna win. Really.

He quickly set both his foot on the pedals, triumphant smile on his lips - only for it to be completely wiped off as his whole body fell to the side in slow motion.

* * *

Hinata laughed quietly, and pulled him back up straight with, well, a large amount of effort. He was so much bigger then her...

"O-Okay," she said, and she tucked long strands -she _was_ going to chop it all off, at this rate- behind her right ear, again. "Put o-one foot on the pedal, a-and the o-other foot on the g-ground. T-that'll keep you standing str-straight, and you w-won't fall over."

He nodded, and gripped the handlebars tightly, his knuckles almost turning white from the pressure he was exerting on the metal. Hinata shook her head. "You gotta l-loosen up. T-think Mary Poppins instead of C-Calvin and Hobbes. The bike w-won't hurt you."

When he looked doubtful, she said "Really, i-it won't. Here."

She slid a little closer to him, and carefully placed her hands over-top of his, her face deciding it would be a nice time to flush the colour of cherry tomatoes (_nice one, Hinata_, said Sakura inside Hinata's head. Hinata mentally damned her friends again. They were starting to _invade her brain_).

"See?" she murmured softly, and led the bike a little ways away. Naruto looked stricken as the bicycle moved beneath him.

---

Time passed, and they spent the next several hours laughing like loons on the grass, whenever Naruto fell off the damn bicycle, cursing his lungs out. Hinata laughed and laughed. It felt so good to laugh again.

She'd almost forgotten what it is was like, to laugh.

It was beyond amazing how this day was going - so... almost... Hinata decided there was no words in the dictionary to explain how she felt. He was... like a ray of sunshine - his own sun, even, and Hinata was caught in the midst of his orbit.

* * *

Naruto blinked as his laughter died down.

"Well...." He took his cell out and checked the time, "It's close to noon now, Hinata-chan. I suppose we could call it a day; at least I know how to stay straight on the damn thing. How about I take you out to lunch now?"

It wasn't his fault if his grin only grew at the sight of her deep blush. Her flushing face made him feel proud, made him want to hug her, made him want to do such weird and funny things. His chest would rumble and almost burst with.... something, or whatever, every time her pretty face grew red. And her stutter? He possibly adored it.

"A-ah... N-Naruto-kun... That - that isn't... necessary."

And her voice, so breathy, so soft, so _prettyyyyy. _Hinata was so delicate, so small; it was amazing. She entranced Naruto.

"Nonsense! I'll take you to Ichiraku's! Do you like ramen?! It's alright if you don't, we can go to Luffy's!" He turned to her, default grin in place, big, blue eyes shining under the sun, almost hiding under the truffles of hairs that fell over them. "C'mon, please say yes."

* * *

Hinata turned deep, deep red. How was she supposed to respond to something like that? _Of course_ she wanted to go! This was - well, it was... It was _nice_. He was such a good guy - sweet, hadn't spent too much time staring at her boobs -unlike most guys- (she could almost _hear_ Tenten ranting about the double standards that were their everyday lives), and had generally let her push him into doing something he was not so comfortable with. He had _trusted_ her.

She guessed it was good enough for her. She let a smile blossom across her face, and nodded. "I-I'd love to, and r-ramen's great. B-but I want t-to pay for mine."

He chuckled. "Hell no! Girls don't pay on dates!"

Hinata sputtered, blushed to high heaven, and part of her soul curled up on Cloud 9. She bit her lip, and smiled back up at him. "S-sure, then. Let's g-go!"

She let him lead the way, their hands gently brushing every now and again. Every time it happened, Hinata's fading blush would return full-force for a few minutes - only _just_ long enough to stain her cheeks a perpetual, embarrasing red. She slipped her hand into her army-bag pocket, and pulled out her Blackberry - and there was a text. From Sakura.

**From: Sak**  
**To: Hina-chan**  
**HIS SMILE IS BLINDING SO THAT HE CAN DISTRACT YOU & RAPE YOU.**

Hinata stared down at the text, a tiny little twitch beginning to make it's way onto her face. Oh no. _Oh no_. Those - those _people_! Hinata didn't know a word ghastly enough to describe how angry she was at her oh-so-beloved "_friends_" right at that moment.

She _knew_ they were going to spy! She just _knew_ it! No wonder they hadn't emailed her back - _they were planning this_.

She was just going to _kill them all_. Her fingers flew, and she sent a rather angry, scathing text right back to Sakura. Fine - they wanted to spy, they could. But if those two (Hinata had a nasty feeling that it was Karin and Sakura - Sakura wasn't normally the one to text all in capitals; that was Karin and Ino, and Ino would be flipping out about her date right about now) thought they would be following her on a _date_, they _quite definitely_ had another thing coming.

**From: Hina-chan  
To: Sak  
I am going to kill you slowly if you follow me, understand?! He's _really nice_, okay?!**

She sent it off with a soft sigh.

Then she gathered her courage, and steeled herself. When his hand next bushed hers, she slipped her hand into his again, and laced thier fingers together. When he grinned down at her, Hinata realized that this was kind of cool.

* * *

Karin grabbed Sakura's phone as it vibrated violently. She read Hinata's text, and grinned like a jackal. "Well, Sakura, my dear, we've definitely got something going for us. Hina-chan's totally into him, and from what we've seen, he's just as interested as she is! Have you ever _seen_ Hinata laugh that much before?"

Sakura, too, read the text, and only managed to moan out "She's going to _kill_ us..."

Karin continued to grin. "No, Sakura, my love, she's not going to kill _us_. She's going to kill _you_. There was nothing said about _my_ involvement. Why do you think I used _your_ phone?"

The glasses-wearing red-head zoomed off in the opposite direction, cackling like a squirrel on speed, and Sakura could only choke on her own spit.

* * *

**Snow White's (a.k.a. **Hinata**) List Of Reasons Why Naruto Is A GOOD GUY  
**(a.k.a. WHY EVERYONE SHOULD SHUT UP AND STOP HARRASING HIM AND I!)  
**Commented on by** _Karin_, **Tenten,** **_Ino_**, and _Sakura_

1) He's easy to talk to; unlike SOME PEOPLE. _**(WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!) **_**(It means you suck.)**_(READ: YOU LOVE US DEARLY. & STOP FIGHTING YOU TWO. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS. Do we NEED to sing the "F.U.N." song?!)_ _(All you you are ridiculous. Hinata, love us.) _**(Your face is ridiculous.)**_ (Shut up, Tenten.)  
_

2) He's not a liar; once again, unlike SOME PEOPLE. **_(WHO LIED TO YOU, HINA?! TELL ME SO I CAN KILL THEM!) _(I don't think it's possible to... never mind, it is. Kill yourself now, Boar.) _(I'M KILLING YOU.) _**_(See above comment, Pig&Ten-chan. & we never lied. We never said that we wouldn't follow you, yeah?) (I was _NOT INVOLVED!_ How DARE you slander my good, Candii-licious name?!) (BECAUSE YOU TOTALLY CAME WITH, LIAR. YOU TXTED HER WITH MY PHONE SO SHE'D THINK I TXTED HER. BETCH) (Heh, heh, heh.)  
_

3) He hasn't SPIED ON ME. Or made me WANT TO KILL HIM. UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW NAMED SAKURA AND KARIN. **_(BAHAHAHAHA. YOU GUYS DID THAT?! WHY WASN'T INO INVITED?!) _(Because Ino sucks major balls. Duh. Anyway. It's pretty sad spying on poor Hina... Should I kill him, Ladies? Did he touch her?) **_(Ah hem, in order of occurance: Piggie, we didn't invite you because you're freaking loud & you would have gotten us caught. Tenten, it's not sad. She's too nice to People-Who-Aren't-Us. & you should kill him. KARIN txted Hina-chan the Right Thing: HE SMILES TO BLIND GIRLS HE PLANS TO RAPE) (I WAS NOT THERE, I TELL YOU, HINATA PLEASE DON'T KILL ME.) (SEE, SHE IS THE LIAR) _**(LIAR, LIAR, PANTS FOR HIRE.) _(It's 'pants on fire', idiot.)_**

4) In fact, he actually makes me laugh a lot. **_(HINATA I AM WOUNDED. WOUNDED, I TELL YOU. IT HURTS. RIGHT. HERE.) _(Wow. And I thought this Pig couldn't get any stupider.)**_(You guys are just too antagonistic. Just admit your undying love for each other already!) (Sak is defs right. Hinata, HE IS MAKING YOU LAUGH SO YOU'RE DISTRACTED SO HE CAN RAAAAPE YOUUU.) (... dude. You just agreed with yourself. Do we NEED to fingerprint my phone so we can see who was the last person to use it? I haven't txted anyone since then, so it would so still show.) **(THIS JUST PROVES YOU HAVE NO SOCIAL LIFE, FOREHEAD. YOU. SUCK. TENTEN YOU SAY SOMETHING AND I WILL KILL YOU.)**  
_

5) I... like him... a lot. -blushblush- **_(OMFG. OMFG. YESSSSS. MY OTP. MY OTP. MY OTPPPPPP.) _(SHE'S FOAMING AT THE MOUTH! CALL ANIMAL CONTROL. Also, Hina you can't like him a lot in one day. That's, like, a felony in the laws of Real Life. Stupid Disney and it's stupid implications.) **_(Even if Karin thinks he smiles too brightly, you two are just Too Cute Together. I'll support. But if he _dares_ to hurt you, I will use my power as part of Konoha's Poison Control Team to nip the problem in the bud. Kthxbai) (I do not think that! I WAS NOT THERE, STOP THE SLANDER!) (Psh, check number 2: HINATA DOES NOT LIKE LIARS) **(That means she doesn't like you, Billboard Brow. So KOOKOOKACHOO TO YOU.)**  
_

6) Uhm... He's pretty freakin' adorable, if a little bit clueless? **_(INO WANTS TO MEET HIM. LIKE. SERIOUSLY.) _(Tenten wants to barf. Clueless...? How so? Did he use innuendo and didn't even notice.... Did he touch you, Hina?)**_ (No, he didn't touch her. BUT SHE HELPED HIM LEARN HOW TO RIDE A BIKE! So _she_ touched _him!!) _(That was totally cute, Sak, admit it. I was squealing, totally. WAIT. NO, I WASNT.) **(DUDE. MAKE UP YOUR MIND. WHERE YOU THERE OR NOT.) **_**(SHE WAS, IDIOT. SHE'S TRYING TO BE SLICK BUT TOTALLY FAILING.)**_ (SHUT UP, TENTEN.)  
_

7) He - well, he makes me blush without even trying, but everyone does that, so I guess this one doesn't count? **_(IT COUNTS. IT COUNTS. MY OTPPPPPP) _(Can I make bacon out of her now, guys? She's annoying as fuck. Hina, no it doesn't count.)**_ (When are you _not_ blushing?!)__ (Hina-chan we love you dearly, but_ everyone_ makes you blush.)_

8) I stuttered less then usual around him! (Big improvement, given that the last guy my father -coughcoughhack_die_- set me up with managed to insult my stutter, nearly inebriate, terrify, and _rape_ me within a ten minute period.) **_(AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.) _(OH! Is that the guy whom got the Super Mega Wedgie by one awesome brunette?!) **_(I think he's the one that visited the hospital because he started turning blue from asphyxiation & heart problems. Oops, must have put arsenic in his coffee instead of sugar...? |innocent look|) (Oh yeah, I remember that guy... He didn't walk for a week. -snicker-) (I think we should go out & ruin his "good name" so he dies without children. Not that we didn't stop that from happening already... ^_^)_

9) He's... like the sun... And so warm... and pretty... and... yeah... **_(OH. HINA. YES. YES. YES. HINA IS IN LURVER. YESSSSS. MY OTPPPPPP) _(OH for fucks sake. I have no words. NO. WORDS.) **_(Pig. You've never seen the kid. But I admit he's pretty. Kinda like the guy I ran into at Luffy's, but he was a cold pretty. Like the moon, actually.) (Oh, what was the guy you ran into at Luffy's like? Hina's got a point tho', he was like the sun.) (Pretty with hair gelled back. Dark eyes & very nice fashion choice. BUT HE'S NOT GAY. I think...) **(OH. HE SOUNDS SEXY.) **_**(Of course he does. To you everyone with a dingaling in between their leg is pretty for you.)**_  
_

10) I should be ALLOWED TO CHOOSE WHO I LIKE, OKAY? AND I LIKE HIM. AND KARIN AND SAKURA, YOU BETTER RUN BECAUSE I'M STILL PRETTY PISSED AT YOU TWO. **_(NOT AT INO, THOUGH, RIGHT?! SHE'S NICE! AND SHE ACCEPTS HIM! HER OTPPPPP!) _(Bahahahaha. Karin and Sakura are dead meat. AWESOME**_.) (YOU'VE NEVER MET THE GUY. FOR ALL YOU KNEW, IT COULD HAVE BEEN A SASORI. I'm sorry, Piggie-chan but I have to go there. It's not just protecting Hina-chan & her virtue, but we must protect each other.) (Don't you mean we have to protect each other from Hinata's wrath? And we must protect Hinata from EVIL PERVERTS WHO WANT TO HARM OUR LITTLE WALL-FLOWER! WE MUST!) (I think both. We have to protect each other from Hinata's anger as well as make sure that no guy takes advantage of us.) **(I think I want to go shopping again.) **_**(FUCK. NO.)**

_

* * *

_

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Extra thoughts from us:

**sonya**: so i'm thinking that love is all of the times you have with friends that make you laugh so much everything- not just your stomach- hurts. &&& DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT THE SOUNDTRACK TO THIS STORY! the link is on our profile page &&& it's epic. it's this whole story with its pairings wrapped up into 42 songs. & we're going to be adding some songs to it soon, since we still need shikatema songs. ^_^  
**les**: you're probably wondering why i didn't have anything to say up there. well you know what? i'm practicing self-control. but believe me, it's my turn if this keeps going.  
**Saraa**: ... i already said my piece at the start... BUT I'M SERIOUSLY NOT JOKING, UNDERSTAND?


	7. how to break hearts in a boy's bathroom

Hey! This is Sonya! I FINALLY GET TO DO ONE OF THESE COOL NOTES BECAUSE I CALLED DIBS BECAUSE, HI? This is one of my favorite chapters ever (& you'll see why really quickly because THIS IS LOVE. If you were like the Black-Eyed Peas & were wondering Where Is The Love? It's right here.) & the only other one I'm in COMPLETE love with is going to be fabulously dramatic.  
_**(Les & Sara: HAVE I SAID TOO MUCH?? o-0 I'M JUST SO PSYCHED FOR THAT CHAPTER!!! You know the one, right?)**_  
**Disclaimer:** We own nothing but our own plots & random devices.  
**Dedication:** To sparkles, to boy-fasts, to being the Only One for someone else, to vanessa carlton, & pianos! & to my unsuspecting possible new OTP!  
(Saraa: no, sonya, you didn't say too much. :D)  
(les: bah. sodaaaaaa.)

* * *

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.

* * *

To: InLoveWithTheOblivious  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _An Operation_

Hello Shisui.

Remember when we were… young? I would say immature in reference to both of us, but you were the only one who was immature when we were five.

Anyway, I would like to restart those "operations" we did back then, except this is quite a bit more… "significant" than stealing onigiri from the fridge or making Sasuke believe he could blow fire out of his mouth by eating a lit match.

It's Operation: We-Think-Sasuke's-Gay. We need to gather surveillance on him to make sure he isn't actually stalking/dating that blond imbecile he calls his "best friend".

---Itachi

* * *

To: iUchiha  
From: InLoveWithTheOblivious  
Subject: _...Are you high?_

You were six, Itachi, and you conned me into doing all of those missions. And of course _we_ were immature; we were five and six, silly!

...

...

...

Let me get this straight. _You_, wearer of the awkward, flamingly homosexual purple nail-polish, feel that _Sasuke_, broody teenage boy extraordinaire, is gay?  
Re-read the subject line, please.  
And get back to me when you sober up. =D

-Shi-chan

* * *

To: InLoveWithTheOblivious  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _No higher than you, dear cousin_

If I remember correctly, _you _were the one who Mother asked if you had a fever and was crying because your stomach hurt so bad from laughing so hard.  
Ergo, I didn't "con" you , as you put it, because you enjoyed every single second of it.  
And how could a _six-year-old_ con someone?

The purple nail-polish is the result of an individualistic endeavor.  
It also makes the girls swoon. So.

---Itachi

P.S. When have I ever been not-sober anyways?

* * *

To: iUchiha  
From: InLoveWithTheOblivious  
Subject: _... No, seriously. Are you high?!_

I never said I didn't enjoy it. But I was so conned into it.  
Itachi, you've been conning the world since you were _born_. So don't tell me that a six-year-old version of you couldn't manage it.

Uh-huh, sure.  
The girls swoon because they think you can help pick out their prom dresses.

-Shi-chan

P.S. Need I remind you of that New Years Eve when we were thirteen?  
P.P.S You aren't _actually_ serious, are you?

* * *

To: InLoveWithTheOblivious  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _No Subject_

I don't con people.  
I'm merely gifted in the art of persuasion.

I wear all black, the nail polish notwithstanding. I doubt that is prom-material.  
Then again, I wouldn't know. I skipped prom to go watch Sasuke trip all over the stage for his middle school plays.  
And the purple nail polish is distinctive to those who own Akatsuki.  
You're just jealous you don't own one of the most well-known clubs in the country.

---Itachi

P.S. I don't remember that night.  
P.P.S. When am I ever _not_?

* * *

To: iUchiha  
From: InLoveWithTheOblivious  
Subject: _Ita-chi, you suck!_

That is the _same thing_, idiot.  
(And you do so con people. You conned Pein into working with you. Don't think I've forgotten the stolen lollipops, either.)

...Have you _seen_ what some people wear, in fashion rags?  
Wait, why am I even asking this? Of course you have! :D  
Why on earth would I _want_ to own that place? I'd be bored all the time, because you'd never let Konan and I do anything fun! (We both think you and Pein suck, just so you know.)

-Shi-chan

P.S. That is because you were so drunk, you couldn't even stand. Tsk, tsk, Itachi, and only at thirteen!  
P.P.S. ...Fine, just let me tell my parents I'm going out, okay?

* * *

To: InLoveWithTheOblivious  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _Things can't suck. You should have learned that in physics._

No, it is not. Conning means I tricked you.  
_Persuading_ means I convinced you to do what I wanted you to do.  
Pein decided he liked the benefits I listed to him about working with me. We both got what we wanted.  
One would think that you would have gotten over lollipops after fifteen years at least.

I don't pay attention to fashion magazines.  
At all. I know you do. I found some stuffed in your underwear drawer when I was looking for your phone (No, I'm not a pervert or a stalker. That one guy "Kotetsu" txted you, asking for a private session with you. I thought he should know that you don't go out in public lacking any sort of clothing whatsoever.).  
So go think about yaoi with someone else starring in the drama, you sick and twisted person who I refuse to believe is my _little_ cousin Shisui.  
Konan is co-owner. She gets a lot of... financial incentives.  
And because she's co-owner, she knows a lot of private nooks to... "_get to know"_ Pein on a personal level.  
A _very_ personal level.

---Itachi

P.S. I think you were so drunk that night you forgot that you forced all that champagne down my throat.  
P.P.S. Hurry up. He left a minute ago.

* * *

To: iUchiha  
From: InLoveWithTheOblivious  
Subject: _They can too suck. Your reasoning power is clearly one of them_.

You did trick me!  
I will never forget the Lollipop Incident. Never. Ever.

...You looked through my underwear. WHY THE HELL WERE YOU LOOKING FOR MY PHONE? I was _dating_ Kotetsu at the time! Are you really that obtuse?! No _wonder_ he didn't call me back! I AM RAGING AT YOU, ITACHI UCHIHA. BE AFRAID.  
Did I _ever_ say _anything_ about yaoi, hmm? No, I did not. Your mind went there on it's own.  
And please, I've been hearing about Konan and Pein's sex stories since she first jumped him.

-Shi-chan

P.S. At least I can remember it.  
P.P.S. Jeez, hold on, you are so pushy! Just let me tell my mom, and I'll be over in five. (But if we get caught, I am blaming you. And I'll tell Aunt Mikoto about your porn stash.)

* * *

To: InLoveWithTheOblivious  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _No Subject_

Tch.  
Mature, are we?

Kotetsu was a horny guy who was going to try and RAPE you.  
You should be thanking me.  
Didn't someone get a restraining order from him?  
Well, considering you want me to be _gay_ so bad...  
...Pein needs to learn to tell the truth, obviously.

---Itachi

P.S. You remember it wrongly. I remember _you_ sloshing around.  
And throwing up on me.  
P.P.S. You'd better be here in five. I don't know if he's still going to be at Ichiraku's in ten minutes...

* * *

To: gamerrgirl___xx  
From: InLoveWithTheOblivious  
Subject: _HELP. I NEED SOMEBODY, HELP, NOT JUST ANYBODY._

TEMA-CHAN.

I NEED HELPPPPPP.

Itachi decided to stalk Sasu-cakes.  
AND HE ASKED ME TO COME WITH HIM.

AKSDJFH.

-Shi-chan

* * *

To: InLoveWithTheOblivious  
From: gamerrgirl___xx  
Subject: _Calm down, Shi-chan._

...Oh dear.  
Why has the Oblivious One Who Is Stupid On All Levels decided to stalk his little brother?

DON'T GO, SHI-CHAN.  
YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG.  
(Or, you could just leave him to me, and I'd teach him a lesson about messing with my friends he wouldn't forget...  
But you'd never turn him down. Why do you torture yourself so?  
You are such a masochist.)

Text me, okay?

Funny faces and love,  
Tema-chan

* * *

To: gamerrgirl___xx  
From: InLoveWithTheOblivious  
Subject: _THE BEATLES, TEMARI, THE BEATLES! XD_

Yeah.  
I think he's done something. Like executed some plan that I don't know about.

Shi-chan shall investigate. =D

I HAVE to go.  
He's been so busy with stupid AKATSUKI I haven't been able to spend much time with him...  
Haha, but he'll never love me if he's in PIECES.  
Well, he'd be able to rest in pieces. :3  
IDK why I love my gorgeous, smart, caring-in-his-own-way adopted-cousin. I almost wish I didn't.

Will do!  
|salutes|

-Shi-chan

* * *

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.

.

* * *

It was bright outside. Shisui blinked at the sunlight, and frowned. Temari was right - she really _was_ a masochist. She flipped the long, straightened sheets of ink-black hair over her shoulder, and walked the familiar two-block trek to her Aunt's house. It wasn't a long trek - one she'd done over and over, in her life, but it was always a painful trek. Always.

Itachi was such a - such a _prick_. He made her stomach twist into knots, and he made her toes curl, and he was just so damn _oblivious_ that it made her want to _scream_. How could _anyone_ not notice that she'd only, oh, been completely and irrevocably in love with him (and thankfully, unlike certain non-characters, Itachi _wasn't_ a lame, sparkly vampire), for, what, fourteen _years_?!

It just _wasn't fair_!

Shisui caught sight of her own reflection, in the Uchiha house's glass front door. It wasn't that she wasn't pretty - big, soft, black-doe eyes, long black hair that normally sat in ringlets around her face, and a smile that could, apparently, light up a whole room. And she had dated plenty before, so Shisui knew it couldn't be that. It wasn't that there was a huge age gap; there was only a year difference between them, and Shisui knew Itachi was a little squeamish about dating girls who were more then three years younger then him. So it couldn't be that, either.

Then there was the issue of blood. That had to be it.

Everyone thought they were family, and Shisui wanted to keep it that way. Sai was her little brother, and her parents were her parents, and her aunts and her uncles were her aunts and her uncles. Sasuke was her broody, awkward, emo little cousin. And Itachi...

Shisui steeled herself, and raised her hand to knock quietly.

Itachi was just the boy she was in love with, nothing more, and nothing less.

* * *

He walked down the stairs as fast as is dignified, opened the door, walked through it, grabbed the hand Shisui was about to knock with again, and was halfway down the block before his mother could open the door and welcome Shisui inside, informing her that Itachi would be there in a few minutes.

Itachi, champion speedwalker.

"Why didn't you ever do track?" Shisui asked as she wrenched her hand out of her cousin's. She jogged alongside him.

"Because what's the point in running around a circle? You end up in the same place," he scoffed as he kept up with her with his long strides. A discreet glance to his left assured him that it was, indeed, his favorite cousin. She still favored the inside of her foot when she ran. Her dark eyes still sparked when she glared at him for insulting "her sport". But her hair wasn't the same...

"Did you do something to your hair? Or are you actually Sai, cross-dressing again?" Itachi couldn't help but shudder at the memory.

"I straightened my hair! That's all. Nothing else." She looked away from him.

There's a small silence as they turn the corner and walk the two blocks to the Ichiraku ramen booth. Sasuke walked out of the restaurant. Seemingly serendipitously, he went on without destination.

They immediately began tailing him, silent as shadows descending on day.

* * *

A faint tension haunted the air, filling the silence with static that nearly made Itachi's silky hair frizz.

"Let's talk about something," he said, breaking the silence.

Shisui wracked her brain for something to say.

How she loved him so much it made her stomach ache? Yeah, sure. It would be understandable if, following that statement, Itachi asked her if she knew any better jokes or if she'd been on electric shock therapy. Hell, he might suggest she'd been on the bottle. But the feeling of love was just _bubbling_ and it wouldn't _go away. _Being in his presence was like drinking a whole bottle of Jack and when he'd had a hand around her wrist, it was like being high on rubber cement. She'd tried everything she could think of- hanging upside down until she was woozy and she couldn't think straight (Then Itachi had been the one to take her off the monkey bars at the elementary school playground and carry her home, with his arms behind her neck and under her knees _which had not helped_), drinking herself dumb (He'd held her hair out of her face while she threw up all of the wine coolers), going on a blind date (Her date turned out to be this Zuko character, who'd nearly been dragged out by his _girlfriend_ who had an obsession with wearing a lot of blue and throwing water. Itachi had gotten her out of that unnecessary catfight and had helped bandage up her fingernails from scratching the other girl's face.), and everything else in-between.

_He_ wouldn't let _her _let go of him.

And it was completely unintentional on his part.

Shaking her head, she tried to think of something else.

"Wait. Why did you think I was Sai cross-dressing? _Again_? What is up? He's dating Sakura Haruno. You know, she was an eighth grader when we were seniors. Damn fast. Ran with the high school team instead of the middle school team. Varsity in _eighth grade_. I dunno if she still runs..." Shisui mused and rambled for a bit before remembering her initial question.

"Anyways, I digress. What did you mean by 'Sai crossdressing _again_'?!"

Itachi simply looked at her, and Shisui felt her face heat up and almost spontaneously implode. She really, _really_ hated it when he just stared at her.

"He's been cross-dressing since he was twelve. I caught him playing with your lipstick when he was thirteen, and I've seen him do it twice since then."

Shisui stared at him, something like horror running through her body. _No wonder_ her goddamn make-up was always disappearing, she was going to _kill_ that little bastard of a brother when she got her hands on him... But Shisui looked up and blinked at Itachi, and tilted her head towards the nearest park.

"He's gone that way, I think..." she murmured, and had to keep running to catch up to Itachi's suddenly much-more-purposeful stride.

As the two rushed into the park after the oblivious Sasuke, Shisui sent glimpses out of the corner of her eye at Itachi. He was staring straight ahead, his dark grey eyes (Shisui damned her own blue eyes - they were the only, the _last_, thing that kept her separate from her adopted family) completely focused.

Shisui let out a giggle (damned herself some more - she never giggled, except around Itachi), and said "You're _actually_ worried that he's gay, aren't you? What's the problem with his being gay?"

He snorted. "I'm not _worried_ about him. I'm just..."

He struggled to find a word other than 'confused' to explain how even he, the impassive, law-abiding, law-majoring Itachi, was social. Even _he_ went to a few parties (and despite what Shisui might think, get drunk but still remember everything that happened in that time period) and made out with a few women.

So, okay, he _was_ worried.

But he couldn't ruin anyone's perception of him caring at all about his little brother.

Not even Shisui.

Itachi shrugged almost carelessly. "Well, Mother wants grandchildren. And since I'm not interested in being involved with anyone, Sasuke had better come through for her."

Smiling inside, he thought, _I should be an actor_.

* * *

Shisui gulped, and felt her stomach fall to approximately around her knees.

Oh. Right. Thing's weren't... like that, between them. Shisui wrapped her arms around herself, and shook just slightly. It was September. It was chilly. She knew she could pass the suppressed sob off as a shiver.

Itachi was... so cold, sometimes.

And he could affect her in ways Shisui didn't even want to think about. She tucked a fly-away strand of hair behind her ear, and made a note to herself. '_Write him another letter. Try to burn this one. Fail miserably_.'

That was also the order things always went, between them. He'd pull her along for the ride, and she'd let him drag her until he was bored (until her heart was bleeding inside, most times)... Then she'd write him a letter. After it was finished, she'd seal the envelope, stamp the thing, and the pull out a lighter. She'd stand in silence for a full ten minutes, trying to pluck up the courage to burn it... but she never managed it. So she'd put the newest letter away, in a drawer, in her desk.

She had a drawer full of them, - the letters. So many letters.

Shisui bit down on her lip, and shook her head to herself. Itachi... was so stupid. He really was more oblivious then anyone she had ever met. Shisui looked up, through the veil of the trees, and watched Little-Cousin-Sasu-Face wander towards a girl sitting all alone, on a bench. A girl with pink hair.

Shisui recognized Sakura Haruno faster then the speed of light, and she really couldn't help the little grin that stole it's way across her face. Poor Itachi. As much as she loved him, he really didn't know what he was getting himself into. Not with this. Sasuke _really_ didn't have a chance.

Sakura would steal his heart and keep it.

And, considering what she had heard in the track locker room from the more... devoted of his fangirls, Sasuke was pretty intense in his passions. When he started playing football, he was on the field or in the gym, training every second he wasn't sleeping, creeping on the tomatoes in the fridge between meals, in class, doing homework, or in detention with Naruto. When he started playing video games with Naruto, he pulled all-nighters every other day to finish whatever game he had started the night before.

So if Sakura had his heart, he'd make her keep it.

Hopefully he wouldn't be a heartbreaker like his brother. Speaking of which... Shisui sent another tinsy-tiny glance at Itachi.

And then she felt utterly sick with herself.

* * *

Sakura was waiting.

Nothing out of the norm.

She spent much of her time waiting. At the hospital, she would lay the beeper on a counter, get a stool, and rest her head on her folded arms and stare at her beeper intently for fifteen minute periods at a time, waiting for it to go off so she could rush and watch her "keepers" treat people in the ER. During lunch, she had to wait through the long lunch line to get some... thing that wouldn't pass for food in a starving African village. When Ino had one of her appointments at the salon, she'd force Sakura to come with. Sometimes it was just for Sakura to sit in a chair, talk, and help pick out Ino's new haircut (she always ended up getting the same hairstyle); other times, she would be forced to get her hair cut right next to Ino (Sakura always got it trimmed to her shoulder-length).

So she continued to sit on her bench, spreading her arms out and tilting her head back to stare at the sky.

No clouds to look at today, Sakura mused, but she continued staring, imagining that she could look past the blue sky into the cosmos, past twinkling stars, spinning planets, delicate rings, and the infinite black space in-between.

And maybe there was no need to wait there. Maybe there... She shook her head and snorted, lowering her head just in time to watch as that familiar guy - the one from Luffy's last night! She raised an eyebrow and stared as he walked almost towards her.

* * *

He had his hands tucked into his dark-gray skinnies. It was a bit chilly today, more than usual - Sasuke mused that he should have brought a sweater or a jacket of sorts, walking around in a black t-shirt and black-gray-white scarf around his neck wasn't all that.... _shielding_.

Knowing how his mother was, if she were to find out, she'd berate and feed him noodle soup even if he _wasn't _sick. Even at nineteen she still babied him. Not that he complained; his mother held a _veryveryvery _special place in his heart and she was his weakness, you could say.

But whatever, he was just killing time before he had to go (forcefully, he'd like to emphasize) to Akatsuki with the Dobe and the other idiots. Nothing big, just a stroll in the park and maybe he could just head home and get online and do some zombie killing with the Dobe. Or maybe catch up on some sleep; his stupid brother called him out on the dark bags under his eyes already. And in front of their mother, too.

Anyway, sleep sounded really inviting right now and knowing Naruto and the other two idiots, they weren't going to let him bail early from that stupid club. Sasuke shook his head and continued on his quiet stroll. He lifted his stare up from the ground and--

That girl with the pink hair looked mildly familiar.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow but said nothing of it. Just continued walking, eyes squinting when the wind blew some of his blacker-than-night hair in his eyes.

Unfortunately, some of his mother's lectures had actually been drummed through his skull, which was why he found his feet carrying him towards the bench and, more importantly, the girl.

He wouldn't say some sucker-line, like how he hadn't been able to get her off his mind since he saw her because that would be a lie. He had thought about killing zombies, killing the Dobe, and eating tomatoes too.

But he would be lying if he said that he hadn't thought about her at least once since their passing glance at Luffy's.

* * *

"So we meet again." His voice was smooth, Sakura thought distractedly.

"Yeah, I guess we've met again." Brushing her hair away from her face, she stood up and brushed her dark skinnies off unnecessarily just so she wouldn't have to look him straight in the eyes. Of course, it wasn't polite to stare at an imaginary loose thread, but his eyes were so dark and piercing and they excited so many emotions in her she was just about to _die_...

But there's only so long that one can check their jeans before they're either considered narcissist or certifiably loony.

When that time was just about to expire, she stood up and flashed him her most winsome smile.

"So what are you doing here today?"

And she _so _hoped he didn't consider her crazy. Or schizophrenic.

* * *

Sasuke blinked and inched away a bit, obsidian-black eyes staring at the girl and her brightbrightbright smile. His eyebrows rose to meet his hairline and he cleared his throat. Her smile was... a bit too much, he supposed.

"I'm walking around the park."

Was it him, or did he sound like a complete loser? Bah, not that he cared of what people thought of him.

Besides, this was a girl he didn't even _know_; a girl he met by chance at Luffy's and coincidentally today as well. It's not like her opinion really mattered to him at all; Superstar's voice -- erm, emails and words flashed through his mind's eye. And he suddenly had the urge to roll his eyes at his annoying penpal's wordings about him. Tch, her and her presumptions.

But nevertheless he made an effort.

"And you," he asked through gritted teeth, lips never moving.

Oh, he just gave a nut-job a run for his money. (And he didn't care, really.)

* * *

She lifted an eyebrow at the weird-growl-sound he made and tried not to make her little movements inching away from him obvious.

It was like one of those nature shows: "_If you end up in a close encounter with a dangerous animal, don't make _any_ sudden movements_."

And when they say _that_, they REALLY mean: "_If you end up right next to someone crazy, make a video of the incident and mail it to us so we can laugh at you while you're being buried_."

"I'm going to assume you just asked what I'm doing in the park. Well, I'm waiting for my friend Ino to meet me here so we can go to a club together."

He quirked his eyebrow. "Ino? As in 'Boar'?"

* * *

She laughed. It was like one of those romance movies that he avoided as much as possible that his mother watched with her girlfriends. Her laughter sounded like bells and, dammit if it didn't make him want to curl the corners of his lips. What was more attractive was that _he_ had made _her_ laugh.

The _need_ to make her laugh again startled him.

"Yeah, just don't call her out on it. It's like a death sentence." She giggled this time.

Sasuke couldn't hold it this time, he smirked.

Weird girl. If he remembered correctly, this'd be the second time she amused him and the second time she caused him to smirk (which was as close as he could get to a smile at the moment). He cleared his throat again, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. He was kind of uncomfortable now. This was unknown territory and though Sasuke never backed out on challenges, this was one he _did not _want to part take in.

"Huh," he smirked again. They remained silent after that, an almost comfortable silence, almost because there was a mild tension (of what, he didn't even know). But neither of them spoke, just stared at random places and at times took random glances at each other. But the silence remained there. And he figured there was nothing left to say. "See you around, then."

What Sasuke wasn't expecting, though, was that after several long strides away from where they had stood, she would fall into step with him. He blinked and stared at her from the corner of his eyes; how she stared ahead of her, face blank other than the small smile that he figured was permanently there.

He shook his head and continued on his way. With her next to him.

* * *

Shisui quietly squealed, and clutched Itachi's arm, "Look, see, he's _not_ gay! Aw, _look at them_, Ita, he's all _shy_ and stuff! I _have_ to text Temari!"

"They're coming this _way_," Itachi hissed, and slid his arms around her, to tug her to the ground. He silently covered her mouth with his hand, because she was Shisui, and with her track record, she'd probably scream, and they'd be discovered.

And that was _certainly_ not on Itachi's list of Things To Do Today, and Shisui knew it.

She was frozen in his arms. She could feel her heart beating like crazy, and it was all she could not to throw herself at him. _Dear god, if I get out of this alive and not found out, I will never again cave to Temari's demands for ice cream. Or something. Or anything. HELP ME_, was the only thought that went through her mind.

"Are they gone yet?" she breathed out, her voice hitching and catching.

Itachi hissed, "_We have to maintain radio silence_." The remark was accompanied with a warning look- something just short of a full-blown glare.

Narrowing her eyes at him, she put her hand into the pocket of her lavender windbreaker.

* * *

Itachi looked through the covers of the bushes and trees in front of him without actually seeing.

There was a good reason for that, actually.

_Shisui was breathing on his hand._

Yes, they were small breaths, but they made the hair on the back of his neck prick up in awareness. He told himself it was because the late September air was slightly chilly while her breath was warm; that their bodies were close together to make themselves less likely to be seen by his foolish little brother.

But the second excuse had hit far too close to home, making every reason impossible to believe.

This was his best friend- his cousin. He was supposed to protect her from people like _Kotetsu_, who wanted to do Things Of An Inappropriate Nature to-

Itachi jumped when something in his pants vibrated.

* * *

_Thank god for cell phones_, Shisui thought.

**From: Shi-chan  
To: ****Itachi  
ARE THEY GONE YET? I CAN'T BREATHE!!!**

She waited for him to reach into his pants to grab the phone. She _really_ needed to breathe, okay? Because this was getting ridiculous; Sasuke and Sakura couldn't still be around - they should have been long gone.

"_Shit_," she heard him mutter, and she caught a glimpse of pink hair through the foliage, and realized that, crap, if she wasn't careful, Sakura was going to see her. Shisui steeled herself to do something that she had only ever thought about when she was at her whimsiest. She tilted her head up, arched her back against, and pressed her forehead to Itachi's.

If she was lucky, that single motion would be enough to conceal both of their faces.

But it brought her almost painfully close to Itachi. Shisui made a 'hush'-ing sound in the back of her throat, and he gave her the barest hint of a nod. From somewhere very, very far away, she vaguely heard Sakura's voice - "Aw, look, they're in love! C'mon, we're intruding, stupid!"

There was shuffling of feet, and Shisui let out an audible sigh of relief when they were finally gone. "You _so_ owe me for this one, Uchiha. We nearly got _caught_, by your _brother_ of all people!"

She realized they were still painfully close together. Part of her ached to just rip her body away from his, because, god, it _hurt_ to be this close to him, but at the same time, she just wanted to sink into him, and sleep forever.

* * *

Her face was so close to his that he could smell the mint gum she had been chewing on happily for the past hour as it hung entrancingly by his lips and beneath his sensitive nose. Hair that was as soft as down brushed his cheeks, nearly making him close his darker-than-black eyes at the comforting sensation.

But he didn't.

Because this was Shisui.

He could hear two voices warring inside his head. One was chanting _she'syourcousin _on repeat_;_ the other voice was violins and pianos and harps on backup as it sung that one song from that one Disney movie with the redhead who can't speak. It sang_ "It don't take a word, not a single word. Go on and kiss the girl_."

It was obvious which voice was winning.

Almost hypnotized by dark eyes staring back at him wide-eyed, Itachi leaned down painstakingly slowly.

* * *

Shisui remained entirely frozen. _Pleasepleaseplease, don't do this to me, not now, not now, pleasepleaseplease..._

"Hi," she murmured.

"Hi," he muttered back. He was still too close. _Not now. Anytime but now._ _Pleasepleaseplea-_

But Shisui's brain processes were abruptly cut off, like shears trimming leaves, as her lips were suddenly occupied. His lips crashed into hers, angry and hot, full of _years_ of too much unresolved sexual tension. It was fireworks and silent implosions and, god, that bubbling vat of _emotions_ that was centered on _him_ just _exploded_.

_Finally_.

Shisui kind of forgot where she was; her fingers threaded through his hair, and tugged him closer to her. He was everywhere; his right arm tight around her waist and so possessive; his left curling into her straight-for-once hair; their legs tangled up on the grass; and this was _so right_, it almost made her want to cry. This was _right_, they were _supposed_ to do this, it was fine. Actually, it was _beyond_ fine. It was just... correct. _Mineminemineminemine_, Shisui thought, dazed, as she murmured a soft sound of happiness against his lips.

Then she was unceremoniously thrown off, left on the ground like discarded trash, and he was gone faster then she had time to realize that anything had happened. She only barely caught the half-crazed look in his eye as he pretty much disappeared on the spot.

Everything went very, very still. Even the wind froze, and gave a moment of silence for the broken heart of the almost-woman sitting on the ground, alone.

Shisui started to cry.

* * *

It had felt so right.

_Right_,_ the opposite of wrong, _Itachi thought sardonically as he ran as fast as his legs would carry him. _Ironically, it felt so _right_ it was _wrong.

Store after apartment after store passed him as he blindly ran for the one place where he wouldn't have to think. Drown in beats so strong the walls vibrated, be occupied with bodies writhing en masse as vibrantly colored drinks were passed around and tossed back...

The one place where the whole idea is to _not think_.

He couldn't deal with all the thoughts that were banging on his head now, but he could push them back for a few hours at least until straightening them out was a feasible task.

_Once he was not anywhere near her_.

There was no feeling in his legs upon his arrival as he slowly let them release their tension and stop pounding on the sidewalk. Mechanically, he walked around the line leading to the door and bouncer. Upon passing through the door, he could feel the pounding and music.

He finally relaxed.

Welcome to Akatsuki.

* * *

The phone ran twice before Temari picked up. _"Hello?"_

"Te-Temari?" Shisui whisper-sobbed into the phone. She could hear the pounding music in the background - damn, Temari must be at work.

"_Shi-chan? What's wrong? You sound _horrible_..._"

Shisui felt a little bit more then sick. She took a deep breath, and said, her voice breathy and teary and coming out to fast, "OkayI_**think**_Ijust_madeoutwith**Itachi**_whilewewerestalkingSasukebut_now_I'mnotsurebecause_**hekissedmeback**_butnowhe's**gone**andI'mnotsure-"

Temari cut her off. "Breathe, and repeat that in English, not gibberish. Temari does not understand gibberish."

Shisui took another deep, calming breathe, and willed herself not to burst into "Okay, I _think_ I just made out with Itachi. We were stalking Sasuke and it just - just _happened_, I dunno, and he _definitely_ kissed me back. And then he... threw me off, and then disappeared. And now... I..."

"_...Christ_. Look, I'm not off for another two hours, but if you show up, I'll guilt Kisame into _letting_ me off. Get over here _now_. Actually, you know what, go to my house. The front door should be open, and neither Kankurou nor Gaara will be home."

Shisui sniffed, and nodded, even though she knew Temari wouldn't see that. "F-fine. I'll... be there in a bit. Thanks."

Temari smiled sadly on her end, after Shisui had hung up. This was _not_ going to be pretty. Good lord, she was going to _kill_ that weasel when she got her hands on him...

Weasel traps...

There _was_ that hunting store down on 7th, right?

* * *

A silence stretched over the bar where seven men were huddled.

"Dude..." The blonde with blue eyes and, if one were to pay attention to them, hands with mouths tattooed to the palm trailed off, unsure what exactly to say. This was a blow that was still kind of strange to consider, considering Itachi was the guy who threatened to castrate any guy who looked at Shisui in _any_ way or thought of her in _any_ context. Looking at her crookedly or cross-eyed would be like _asking_ to die in the most painful fashion possible.

"You just made out with your _cousin_." Kisame stated the fact point-blank and stared at him as if he'd never seen him before.

"You're messed up," was Sasori's opinion.

"Ne, Deidara-senpai, what's _making out_?" Tobi tugged on Deidara's right sleeve.

"That's the most fucked up thing I've heard since Deidara thought that the best way to impress a girl was to blow up a bomb near a Congo line and watch the disarrayed confusion." Hidan threw a dart behind his back at the dartboard, nearly spearing Temari who was walking in their direction [read: stomping towards Itachi with a maniacal gleam in her eyes].

Temari changed direction slightly, ending up right behind Hidan. "Hidan-_chan_, do you _really_ want to take this outside so I can kick your scrawny ass?"

"Well, if that's code for having some fun behind the dumpster out back-," He yelped when she started tugging him outside by his ear. "Leave me the fuck alone, woman!"

As Temari and Hidan started up their usual argument, Itachi rested his throbbing head on his arms, he wondered what kami was out there, screwing up his already messed-up life. Maybe this was the punishment for getting involved in his foolish little brother's life forcibly. But sometimes the worry his mother exuded when she looked at Sasuke out of the corner of her eyes was heartbreaking. Sasuke was always somewhere else, either mentally or physically. He spent more time blowing up zombies than looking twice at any girl. When he was at the dining room table, his mind was somewhere around Pluto if not exploring some far off galaxy.

So was it really that wrong to get involved.

"UCHIHA."

Great, Itachi thought as he sat up.

"You are going to get it so bad for messing with Shisui," she hissed as she shot him a dirty look that promised something more hellish than the seventh level of hell, more painful than death, and more torturous than seventh hour Biochemistry with Orochimaru (there were only so many things that reached this status in Itachi's mind. This was _not good_).

"You, my friend, are worse than dead. Good luck." Pein clapped him on the shoulder and walked away.

* * *

Temari stalked straight up the almost-quailing Itachi after disposing of Hidan (he who was currently cursing fluently, and rubbing the shin where she'd kicked him), grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and pretty much slammed him against the wall. She was _seething_. Yes, she understood that Shisui was in love with him, but _for fuck's sake_, enough was _enough_.

Nose to nose, she stared him straight in the eyes, and said very, very quietly, in a voice barely audible over the pounding bass in the background "You listen here, punk, and you listen good. Shisui is _my best friend_. She's your best friend, too, or should I remind you? You promised not to hurt her, Itachi, I was there. And she just called me, bawling her eyes out. She told me what happened, because she can't keep a secret to save her life. So. You better fucking fix this, or I will chop your balls off and shove them down your throat. I will then go to your mother, and I will tell her exactly what happened, and I will leave you at her mercy. _Do you understand me_?"

He nodded, his gaze cold.

Temari let him go, and said "Tell Kisame I'm leaving, and that I expect double pay for trying to fix your mistakes. I think you may have just broken something that even _I_ can't fix, and if you did... I swear, Itachi, I will not forgive you. I _will_ make your life a living hell."

Temari stalked out of the club, and tossed Kisame (evil, bitchy work-monger that he was) an imperious look. The shark-ish man quailed under her doom-gaze, and Temari left without a single man trying to stop her.

"Bah," she muttered to herself, and whipped out her phone. Konan would need to be informed, right this instant. Actually, the blue-haired woman (who owned Pein's soul, for all intents and purposes) would be able to get off work faster then Temari herself had.

**From: Tema-chaaan.  
To: Blue-ei; Hana-chy-an  
Hi. Big problem. Get off work, now. My house, ASAP. Shisui's having another breakdown, courtesy of Itachi.**

As Temari waited for the replies, she stomped towards her house. Shisui would probably already be inside, sniffling into Temari's favourite fleecy blanket, and quietly bemoaning her, apparently, requited-but-pretty-assuredly-doomed love affair.

Temari sighed.

Why, oh _why_, did things like this have to happen so often?

* * *

Sakura tugged Sasuke's arm as they left the couple alone. "Let's go through the shortcut, 'kay?"

Sasuke hoped she didn't notice all that much as he took his arm away from her reach, raising it to ruffle the back of his already wild hair. Okay, so people touching him wasn't one of his likes, seriously; even if the person that was _tugging (__really Uchiha, what the fuck, you're such a fag - _that was a combination of Stupid Kiba and Stupid Suigetsu) at his arm was a girl. Sasuke was _not _going to say she was pretty.

Sighing, he lead her through the shortcut, blackblackblack eyes glued to the front and _no _he did _not _want to look at her. Really.

Man, he _knew _he should have gone home and blasted some zombies, instead, he stayed to walk around aimlessly with a girl with pink hair. Not to mention that they almost walked into a sex scene with two idiots that seemed to have wanted to get it on in a _public place_; if the guy hadn't had black hair, he would have thought it was either Kiba or Suigetsu. Sasuke inwardly rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands right back into his pockets and began to lead her in another direction; he decided it was leading since she turned when he turned and she stopped when he stopped.

Anyway.

Yeah.

He led her.

"Where are we going....?"

Sasuke ignored her.

"Hell_o_."

"Hey."

He smirked when he heard her huff. Irritating this girl was mildly amusing; though Sasuke had a gut feeling that annoying her might come and bite him in the ass someway or another. But whatever; he just continued to be quiet as they walked.

It was amusing that she was practically _dying _to say something.

* * *

"You know, you have some kind of problem. I'm just trying to be a street-smart, nice girl who is on her way to meet friends for a drink or five and you, dear sir, are not talking to me. Are you planning on raping me, because if you are, I'm warning you that I'm a black belt and I can_ so_ kick your ass. Also, I used to be in track so I could outrun you any day of your _life_."

Sakura glared at this guy who didn't seem to be paying any attention to her. He was pretty and all that, but he had the conversational skills of a rock.

He turned to look at her. "Hn. Why would I rape_ you_?"

"Are you saying you'd rape some other girl? You _bastard_."

"Addressing your questions in order of importance: I assure you my conceived... _state_ or whatever was perfectly legitimate. And I don't go around raping girls."

"So are you saying you'd rape a guy? Does that mean you're gay? Because I totally support gay rights. But I don't support rapists, gay or otherwise."

It would be disappointing, she thought, for such a pretty specimen of masculinity to be gay. He wasn't overly muscled, but just enough to let any guy walking down the street know that he wasn't a pushover and he could back up words with violence.

If he turned out to be gay, Sakura would die a little inside.

* * *

Sasuke snorted at her stupid presumption.

"I'm not gay," he turned and stared at her with a blank look, "trust me on that."

And no, he did _not _mean for that to come out as... something other than a sentence-ending-thing. He wasn't trying to flirt. Really. Hell, he wasn't all that good at flirting... well, okay, he was - but that's only because he usually didn't _know _he was flirting. Oh, whatever.

While musing on that, he totally missed the relieved exhale of air the short girl next to him gave out. Actually, if he would have been paying attention, he wouldn't of even know why she had done it - maybe to breathe? Who knows, Sasuke wasn't one to really care, anyway.

...._What _was he _thinking _about?

He needed to pee, maybe that's why he's all over the place.

"So... You're not going to rape me?"

"No."

"...Am I not pretty enough?"

"..."

"It's the hair, isn't it?"

"...Just... Shut up."

Sasuke cleared his throat and wished the bathroom-building-room-thing was closer rather than farther.

* * *

Sakura huffed as she began walking a little faster. Stupid..._boy-person-thing_. Unfortunately, with his longer legs, he kept up with her easily. She wanted to say "You're ruining my vibe. Fuck off," or something because walking next to him made her edgy and notice every single shift of air and those girls across the street were staring at him and glaring at her and she just wanted to _get the fuck away from it all-_

"Where are you going anyways?" he suddenly asked.

"I'm going to Akatsuki. Meeting some friends there."

God, she really had to go to the bathroom. Call Ino and yell at her for not meeting up with her so she had to walk with King Pretty Prick...

* * *

Sasuke couldn't help but sigh in utter relief when he saw the bathroom-building-room-thing.

"Akatsuki..." he mumbled. Every time he heard that stupid name, it reminded him of his stupid brother. Only he would part own a club. Only him. Sasuke rolled his eyes and practically began to run towards the bathroom. But he didn't because that'd ruin his image. (Which he wouldn't mind ruining right now just to get those girls to _stop staring at him_.)

"Oh, you're going to the bathroom!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes again.

"You coulda said so from the beginning!"

"Che."

"Don't go there with me!"

He turned to look at her as they walked. She was weird. Sasuke decided she was elfin-like; bright green eyes, pastel-pink hair, she was short (hence the elfin-likeness), yet she had... pretty legs. Okay, not pretty... When she stood, it was the first thing his eyes had darted to, okay? (Sasuke inwardly flushed.) But anyway. She dressed nicely, he supposed. And he had this feeling that she was a force to be reckoned with.

With his long strides and her fast walking, they made it there quick; Sasuke inwardly cheered. He walked towards the door with the little dude-sign, "Hold on."

"Yeah... I'll wait here."

Sasuke only gave a curt nod and pulled the door open - only to freeze up a bit at the sight of his idiotic cousin... with a guy. And then he whirled around at the sharp intake of breath, then the gasp and then the sob and then the running.

He was confused as hell as he watched Sakura sprint off as fast as she could, far, far away from him and the scene. Sasuke turned back to his cousin and raised an eyebrow; Sai... with a guy. In the bathroom. He felt the urge to throw up; not because of the guy-on-guy possibility... but because this was Sai.

"Sai. You idiot."

* * *

She ran out of the bathroom hallway so fast that she swore her teardrops were floating in midair before hurtling downward.

Sakura would be lying if she said she hadn't suspected a thing. For days, she'd been sitting, staring down at her Samsung Rogue with its gold backing, urging to hit "7" and "send" on her speed dial. But she didn't know what she would do if she had. Would she hear giggles as he answered with his blank "Hello"? Hear someone kissing in the background?

So she didn't call, too afraid to indulge in the unknown.

Looking around the club haphazardly, she squeaked when she noticed a man with silver hair -one who looked suspiciously like Kakashi-sensei- paying attention to her and dashed onto the dancefloor where she could find her friends for sure.

And as she walked, she tried to decide if it was really her fault heart was aching... or if she should blame it on _him_.

* * *

Ino was enjoying the music - 3OH!3, baby, hell and yes.

She danced alongside Karin, raising her arms up in the air and shaking her hips. There was a huge grin on her glossed lips, eyes closed as she danced and danced and danced; she could hear Karin "whoo"-ing as she danced along with her, could hear Hinata's squeaks as people grinding bumped into her, could feel Tenten's murderous aura as a guy tried to woo her.

God, did she love coming to Akatsuki.

_(Coz I just set them up, just set them up, just set them up to knock them down  
Coz I just set them up, just set them up, just set them up to knock them down  
I think I should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints on)_

Mid hip-twisting, half-grinding, a hand was placed on Ino's forearm and her baby blues snapped wide open. She turned, bleach-blond tresses flying all over the place, her lips opening as she got her insults and wit ready - just to freeze up when her eyes crashed on teary, pain-stricken green ones.

"S-Sakura?!" Partying mode was long gone and 'WHO-DID-THIS-TO-YOU-I'M-GONNA-BURY-THEM-SIX-FEET-UNDER' mode was on turbo. "What happened?! Babe?! Talk to me?! Saku-- Girls, Lady Down, Lady Down!"

Karin's grin was wiped of her face, Hinata's eyes narrowed and her blush disappeared, and Tenten's foul mood only worsened. Linking their arms together so they wouldn't lose each other, they led the crying girl somewhere where they could talk.

* * *

The four girls led Sakura out of club, and headed straight towards the closest quiet, safe place - Tenten's house, placed strategically right in the middle of downtown. It was only a five minute walk, but the girls did not let go of each other the entire time.

Karin knew Sakura. She also knew that Sakura only got - well, this deeply emotional - when it had something to do with boys. Karin's eyes narrowed to slits. There was only one boy who could have hurt Sakura _this badly_. And his name was Sai.

And he was going to _die_.

Hands down, begging for mercy, hell, _pleading_, probably. He was just _going to die_. Because Karin was _not_ going to let this stand. But first they needed to get the story out of Sakura. And not just some half-assed "Oh, we just... had a... fight..." kind of story. Karin wanted the gory details, so that she could have more reason for _dismembering_ the _creepy little bastard_ into a _billion little pieces_.

And, quite frankly, the only person who could manage to get the story out of Sakura was Hinata (with her signature mixture of spine-of-pure-steel and sweet-quiet-cajoling; Hinata would be gentle, and yet would still be firm enough with Sakura to find enough incriminating evidence to justify Sai's murder and dismemberment by several _very_ angry teenaged girls).

Sakura still had tears streaming down her cheeks; she was letting out silent, stomach-wrenching sobs, curled up on Tenten's couch. This did not help Sai's case. It was a teeth-grating sound, and Karin snarled to herself.

"Piglette, help me get her some tea and ice cream, Tenny... just - just... GAH, just c'mon, help us."

Ino shot Karin a look, and Karin jerked her head at the kitchen door, crimson hair flicking across her line of sight. Tenten went without complaint - Tenten was the kind of girl who would wait for a verdict, and then hunt the poor bastard who had wronged her friends down. Ino was the kind who would ask questions, but Karin knew that the blonde would let Hinata have her question period, and then would proceed to have the longest, most healing Girl's Night _ever_.

Karin watched Hinata sit down next to Sakura, the most terrifyingly calm look on her face Karin had ever seen, ever.

That was when she grabbed Ino's wrist, left Hinata to the psychological prodding, and booked it into the kitchen.

(Of course, as soon as the door closed behind her and Ino, all three of them -Ino, Karin, and Tenten- pressed themselves against it, to listen in on how this conversation would go. They needed to know who [well, it was clearly obvious who had hurt her; perhaps '_wtf happened?!_' was the better question] the hell had hurt their beloved Sakura, so they could find said ex-boyfriend, and _castrate him on the spot_.)

* * *

Hinata sat down next to Sakura, her jaw set. When she spoke, her stutter was entirely gone - Hinata had never seen Sakura in this state before, and she was almost too angry on the pink-haired girl's behalf to have time to stutter. "Sakura, what happened? Tell me."

* * *

Tears cascaded in rivets down her face, making her choke on them as they streamed into her mouth.

"Sai..."

"Yes, yes...?" Hinata's face was pinched, as if she was fighting down impatience, but the hand smoothing her hair down is gentle, calm, and smooth.

Just what Sakura needed.

"Sai... was in the bathroom with a guy."

The other girl's face crinkled in confusion. "Yes, Sakura... guys _do_ tend to use the little boy's room..."

"No, _no_..." Sakura's face collapsed in on itself. "_With_, Hinata, _with._"

And that's when Hinata's jaw dropped and she screamed, bringing the other girls back into the room.

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa**: "...Wait, let me get this straight... you were the other women for _both_ people in the relationship?!" - BEST. LINE. EVER. i love having slut friends... (AND THE RAPIST BUNNIES WERE MINE FIRST, BECAUSE, HI, I AM COOL LIKE THAT.)  
**les**: "I am Commador Les. Anger me and fear the wrath of my Rapist Bunny Minions." (AND THEY WONDER WHY I'M THE MAD ONE. DON'T BELIEVE SARAA. THEY WORSHIPED ME FROM THE START. SHE'S JUST JEALOUS. JEALOUUUUUUS.)  
**sonya**: OMG. WASN'T THIS EPIC??? You think it's epic too, right? Because I think it was epic. Very Epic indeed. Gah, ItaXShi-chan MAKES ME WANT TO SQUEAL. Thoughts? :)


	8. how to be a subpar Arms Dealer

heee, this is a _good_ chapter... it's one of my (oh, yeah, this is Saraa, because i'm up at four-thirty in the morning with a fever... i am defs not sure how this is gonna go...) favourites. We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it! ^_^  
**Disclaimer**: we own some make-up, if that counts? we also do not own Criminal Law and Its Processes: Cases and Material, Eighth Edition. sonya doesn't remember the author(s), but we don't own it. or albus dumbledore, who belongs to one lovely lady named J.K. Rowling (you are awesome).  
**Dedication**: to late nights, early mornings, lipgloss (again... i love lipgloss...), and... OH YEAH, OUR EPIC SOUNDTRACK.  
Oh, yeah, it's really long... oh well. we're obviously cool like that. che-yeah.  
_(Sonya: hi! does anyone else notice how often we reference Orochimaru &/or his Biochemistry class at Oto Tech? it's the Universal Standard Of Creepiness, i think. XD  
&&& we do update The Soundtrack! So keep checking it out!)_

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Huh._

Alright, subordinate.

There is a command to be bestowed upon thee by thy Master.

BUY ME A FRICKEN ROCKET LAUNCHER STAT.

BECAUSE I HAVE SOME MUTHAFUCKINMUFFIN TO KILL.

DO IT.

NAOW.

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _With you, that's never a good sign. It means you've thought of some insane scheme._

... And I was right.

o1. I don't think _any_ civilian, with cash flow or otherwise, can buy a rocket launcher.  
o2. And I think you are the _least_ likely person ever to receive one from the government. And I mean this in the "if the world were to be on the verge of the apocalypse and you were the only one who knew how to use one and it would save the world, you would still not get one" kind of way.  
o3. Who got on your bad side this time and what did he do? (You seem to never hate on females)

---Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _I like it better when you lack subjects._

Okay, lookie here SUBORDINATE.

DO NOT SPEAK OF THE MASTER LIKE THAT OR I _WILL _CHOP YOUR BALLS OFF AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT.  
(Are you being sexist again, Asshole? Do I need to fuck you up again? Do you need another burger in the face?)

Look.

There's this complete and utter douche bag that was dating one of my best friends and suddenly decided he wants to join our team. Without telling her. And macking on some other rainbow-guy in the boys bathroom.

I WANT BLOOD.

NAOW.

(Get me a machine gun, then? Yes?)

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _I like it better when you don't shove condiments in my hair._

I'm sorry to hear about that.  
(And before you ask, no, I do not play for your team.)

... And you wonder why people would worry if YOU have a machine gun? If you want people to respect you, stop threatening them with violence every time you don't get your way.  
(And I am not being sexist. You are the one who seems to have something against anyone or anything with a Y-chromosome.  
I actually respect females.  
So stop acting as if I have something against you all personally.)

...  
Cheating is rude.  
Would you be fine with a sniper rifle?

---Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _I like it better when I'm treated with respect. AND NOT CALLED A FATASS._

Yes, it is sad.  
(I never thought you did... Wow. Are you curious? Still on the unknown side? This is the second time you try and tell me your not something I haven't even accused you of.)

Look. The only one I actually treat like a piece of trash is _you _and that is because you treat _me _and _other _people like if we're lower than you. Ask anyone else, and they have my respect.  
(I don't have anything against anyone with a Y-chromosome. I like boys. _A lot_. If you catch my drift. Baha.  
You respect females? Really. It's difficult for me to believe that from the way you've been treating me (and therefore causing me to treat you like trash).  
YOU may not have anything against me, but after the Luffy's scene I have something against YOU.)

Cheating _is _rude.  
Oh! Yes. That _will _do.  
You possibly own my heart after that one.

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _No Subject_

Okay.  
Look.  
You were kinda shoving your burger in your mouth like you hadn't eaten for days.  
I apologize for calling you a fatass.  
(No, I'm putting that out there so you don't start calling me "dickless" like Thunder's cousin calls Dead-Last.  
And I had a feeling you'd think something like that since you seem to have a problem with me being a virgin and all...)

I generally treat everyone respectfully. You just caught me on a bad day.  
And both of my cousins are younger than me, so I have just had more experience than them at sparring.  
(I'll buy you another burger.)

Where do you want me to deliver the package?

---Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Much better._

Look.  
Have you ever _tried _their burgers? You'd do the same thing, trust me on that.  
I'm not accepting your lame-ass apology, Mastermind. I probably will when you _mean _it.  
(Why would I do that? And why the hell would Thunder's cousin call Dead-Last dickless? Is it a girl or a boy? The cousin, I mean. Coz.... Just... Wow.  
I don't have a problem with you being a virgin. It's just very surprising to find in a guy nowadays. And it's an easy place to poke at.)

Wow. So you were in a bad mood off of something I don't know about and _I _was the victim? How nice. Note my sarcasm, please.  
(I don't want another burger. Especially from YOU.)

My house. Or...wait..... We'll meet at the park. You give it to me and we go our separate ways.

-Machete

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; sharkbaithoohaha; 359degrees; WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No. Words. At all._

So I was in the park.

And I caught Sai. In the bathroom. With a _guy_.

See, if I would have been a perverse or a complete..... Naruto, I would have taken a picture. But fuck - that's my _COUSIN._

Having something to remind me of that scarring shit would have made me slit my wrists on the dot.

So Sai is.... Gay.

-Sasuke

P.S. At least now we know why he calls the Dobe Dickless. Ha.

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _Really._

I would have eaten it rather than shove it in someone's face.  
There are more satisfactory methods of wreaking revenge.  
(You're emotionally all over the place. I was putting the idea to rest before you even got to it.  
And you seem to be obsessed with sex and... the rest.  
Well, according to the email Thunder just sent me, his _male_ cousin is apparently gay.  
It just means I have values and, as sappy as it may sound, I want to save it for marriage.)

For someone who loves Luffy's burgers so much, you sure don't seem to take any chance possible to eat them.

I'll hand it off in a Casual Passing Maneuver.

---Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Yup._

Well, you deserved it.  
Maybe for you, dude.  
(Hey. Stop poking at my Female Ways. And OMFG. YOU MADE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. Me obsessed with sex? BAHAHA. I'm in _high school_, dude. Sex is all I _hear_ around the halls, in the classrooms the caf. Everywhere. It's traumatizing and look what it's done to me - it's made even _me _talk about it.  
BAHAHA. WOW. So... How does he know that Dead-Last is dickless. O.O  
Well hooray for you, you're above everyone else... in that concept. Don't get a fat head on that compliment.)

I love Luffy's. But I won't _ever _go back there with _you_. Or accept a burger that was paid with _your _money. I'll just go buy one myself.

...What, are we exchanging drugs, now? LET'S DO IT. I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT.

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _Maybe I should fill this with words then?_

I don't think anyone deserves a burger in the face.  
There are starving children who would WANT that burger as sustenance.  
(It is overrated.  
Maybe you should wreak havoc on the sex-obsessed teenagers instead of me?  
That's a good question. When this is all over, maybe you could ask him.  
I won't. According to YOU, I already have one.)

Tch. I was being nice.

Okay. Tomorrow at 6 AM.  
In the park.

---Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _But then that wouldn't be very nice._

I...don't think so either. I'm sorry, okay?  
I send donations to starving children? When I get the chance?  
(It is overrated.  
I should, but then I'd get in trouble for massacring a school's population of sluts, whores and pervs....  
Ask him? Why should I ask him when you can do it for me.  
Meh, I suppose it's medium sized.)

Were you really? I don't believe you.  
I think you were just trying to set me up to offend me again.

Okay.  
I'll be there.

-Machete

* * *

**_How To Be A Lucrative Arms Dealer in 6 Steps  
As demonstrated by Neji Hyuuga & Tenten _**

**Lesson One: Wear Clothing That Blends In With The Surroundings/Situation**

Neji pulled up the collar of his tan trench coat before pulling down on the brim of his black fedora so that not even the sun from above could find his face. Impatiently, he pushed back the left sleeve of the coat so he could examine the reflective face of his Rolex watch.

The sun was still low so he had to bring the watch close to his face to read it, but Neji wasn't going to take the chance that someone might see him giving a _dangerous_ and _deadly_ weapon to a potentially-megalomaniacal girl.

Over his eyes, frown lines deepened.

She was _late_.

**Lesson Two: Never Be Fashionably Late**

Tenten decided that she liked the way she looked; black skinnies, all black converses, studded belt, black turtleneck, black beanie and her hair down to cascade in a torrent of waves down to her shoulder blades. It's not her fault that she decided to check herself out for three minutes longer just to amaze at her art of dressing.

Now she was practically rushing into the park and towards the center where she was positive she'd fine that complete jerk-with-pretty-eyes.

She was so excited!

And she can't believe he got it for her! Oh, she wished she'd thank him... Maybe she will.

Unless... He was angry that she was late. Because she knew she was.

But you can't blame her!

**Lesson Three: Disguise the Gun**

He looked at the box next to him, making sure the for 19834th time to make sure someone didn't walk by and grab the box labeled "Tenten's Gun" in neat penmenship and black sharpie while he was keeping an eye out for Tenten.

Of course, Tenten was never the type to let things go the way Neji planned.

Which was why one moment, he's looking east...

And when he looked at the package again...

...it was gone.

**Lesson Four: Use Teamwork**

She snickered as she jogged away, with the package sandwiched in between her arms and tummy.

Only Neji would be dumb enough to let his guard down even for a _second_; and he called himself a ninja... or... well. Whatever. Seriously. A feral grin came unto her lips as she continued to jog away and it only grew when she heard a "what the" from the distance.

Tenten bit the urge to cackle in pure glee.

But then she heard footsteps coming closer and fast. A small shriek escaped passed her lips and her speed picked up.

But it was too late.

She was tackled to the ground from behind and the two rolled around, with Neji still having his arms around her. They ended up in a position that made Tenten blush: Neji on the bottom and she straddling him and the package laying to the side of them.

"You _idiot_!"

"_Me_?! _You _tackled _me_!"

"Only because you took off with the damn thing!"

"Wasn't that the plan?!"

"No!"

"....Oh."

"Gerrof me Tenten."

Tenten smirked and instead got comfortable. "Why? Does this make you uncomfortable?"

**Lesson Five: Be Undercover  
**

Neji wanted to growl, but he had a feeling that Tenten would take it the wrong way. So he settled for glaring instead.

"Oh my Buddha. We are trying to have a clandestine rendezvous to exchange _guns_. How the hell is that going to happen if you bring attention to ourselves by looking like you are going to rape me?" he hissed as he struggled to remove Tenten. Unfortunately for him, she was determined to stay on him.

"You know," she mentioned, "I'm beginning to question your orientation. Maybe you _do_ play for our team. I mean, most guys would be really excited to be in this position, but you're turning beet red and you look as if you're going to vomit."

"WOMAN. JUST GET OFF MY PERSON."

"Sheesh, chillax, you little...woman-wannabe."

"We're here so that I can get you the gun, not so that you rape me."

... The perfect thing to say when a police car drives by, right?

**Lesson Six: Stay Focused**

Tenten smirked a very devilish, very entrancing smirk and leaned downwards until the tip of their noses touched.

"If I'd wanted to rape you, Hyuuga," she whispered, her breath tickling his closed lips, "I would have done it already. Trust me."

She locked eyes with him, not letting him look away and her devilishly entrancing smirk grew; she almost cackled when she caught his eyes fly to her lime-green lip piercing before returning to her eyes. She would have kissed him, just to add to her taunting and flirting (oh my, oh my, oh my). But that would be too much for his poor virgin being.

Tenten got off him and grabbed the package and began to walk away, leaving a stunned Neji to lay on the floor.

She hummed to herself as she walked out of the park, so into her singing and her complete triumph that she didn't even really focused on the pair of policemen beginning to trail her.

Turn left here, right there, keep going straight, turn left again and it wasn't until they hit 8th and Market that she noticed that the two men in leaf-green uniforms with the Konoha crest and badge on their left breast-side. Her eyes widened but she kept going, pretending she didn't know they were after her.

"Excuse me Miss..."

"Oh hello officers, lovely day we're having, huh?"

"Indeed - would you allow us to inspect your package?"

Tenten blinked. "Why? This is invasion of privacy, Good Sir."

"Miss, the package, please."

Tenten cursed under her breath because something told her that she was fucking _busted_. Grudgingly, she handed the package and nearly felt like shooting herself when she caught, written in a black permanent marker, "Tenten's Gun".

"We're going to ask you to come with us."

Dammit all.

* * *

He gazed after her with wide eyes.

The police...

Why were they even going after her?

Neji thought his eyes couldn't get any wider; but apparently it was possible.

Tenten gave them the package.

The package labeled "Tenten's Gun".

After slapping his head, Neji headed for where he had parked his car.

* * *

Tenten was utterly pissed.

No, actually, there were _no _words to how fucking pissed she was as she rode in back of the police car, handcuffed.

She was going to fucking kill someone. She was going to fricken blow up at any second. And it sucked because her victims were going to be the cops and causing her to fall into deeper shit. Tenten growled in pure anger.

She gritted her teeth and stared down at her lap in anger, horror, embarrassment.

Tenten had no idea how long it was but they arrived to the station. The policemen were polite, though, as they waited for her (one even helped her, gently) out of the car and escorted her inside. They led her to a cell, gently pushing her in and then closing the barred door and locking it.

Tenten sighed and got comfortable.

"Fuck me sideways."

* * *

"How much does it cost?"

She blinked. "Who?"

"Mac- she was just brought in with the gun."

"Oh! I think..."

_(Taptaptaptap)_

"According to our records, one thousand dollars."

_(Furious scribbling._

_Riiiiiip!)_

"... It'll be done in five minutes."

* * *

"Alright, doll, you're free to go," One of the two policemen that brought her in unlocked the door and stepped aside to let her out.

Tenten blinked in utter confusion, standing up from her perch on the bench and hesitantly walking to the door. "Wah? That quick? It's because I'm a girl, isn't it." Her eyes narrowed.

The policeman - his name-plaque read Kotetsu - blinked and shook his head. "Nope, no sexism here. You got bailed - someone paid your bail, doll."

She cleared her throat and nodded, giving the man a once-over and a brief nod before she walked out of the station, down the steps and to the streets as a Free Woman. Damn, in the slammer for a record of thirty minutes. She was now a convict. That... was so fricken _awesome_.

Tenten grinned and began to walk down the street, eyes staring up front. Then a car pulled up next to her; she blinked and turned to look at the driver, only to narrow her eyes when she saw Neji. _Ugh, fricken Hyuuga._

"Need a ride," he questioned.

She opened her mouth to curse him to Hell and back and refuse his offer, but someone in her head (stupid Karin, stupid Ino, stupid Sakura!) told her to do otherwise. She sighed and nodded her head and walked on over, opening the door once he unlocked it and took a seat.

"Only you would write 'Tenten's Gun', Hyuuga. Only you."

She shook her head and snickered.

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _For I am bored._

Technically, I have to send these to all my kid's partners, but I'm lazy, and so am only sending them to those I feel like torturing most. Poor wittle Mastermind is one (HE DARES CALL HIMSELF -SAMA. HE MUST DIE.)

The questions I'm supposed to ask:  
-Is he/she playing nice?  
-Does he/she ask questions about you?  
-Has he/she insulted you in any way, shape, or form, and if so, why?  
-Have you met in Real Life?

...

And now I am bored.

-Anko-sama

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Bah. I have nothing better to do._

OMFG. I KNOW YOU. I KNOW YOU. (I don't even _want _to know.)

The answers of the questions you're supposed to ask:  
-He is a jackass at times. A complete and utter jackass. But I _make _him play nice.  
-He asked. In the beginning.  
-THAT SON OF A FRICKEN MUFFIN INSULTS ME ALL THE TIME. But it's okay because my insults hurt more. And he insults me because he thinks he's above everyone - WHICH HE ISN'T.  
-Yes.

And now I am bored too.

-Tenten

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Aren't you in Kakashi's Psychology class right now? Throw a book at his head, that's always amusing._

Yes dear, we met at Luffy's, correct? (OH, OH, THAY MAKE GOOD BURGERS THERE.)

What I'm going to do now:  
-I am giving you extra points for bending him to your will.  
-And he doesn't anymore, I take it? Kill him.  
-... I like you, kid.  
-That was the Gun Incident, wasn't it? I got a call from his uncle, screaming about how he'd paid someone an exorbitant amount of money...

...Let's rule the world.

-Anko-sama

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Yeah, I am. And you don't have to tell me twice - he's reading his porn again._

I.... was being sarcastic, Anko-sama. (OMFG. I KNOW, RIGHT?! I LOVE THEIR BURGERS!)

What I will flail about:  
-OMFG. YOU'RE AMAZING. I POSSIBLY IDOLIZE YOU NOW.  
-Nope. I'll kill him with so much pleasure. It's not even funny.  
- ...This makes me utterly happy.  
-IT WAS HIS FAULT. HE _LABELED IT _"Tenten's Gun". And he TACKLED ME TO THE FLOOR. And it was HIS FAULT.

...I will join you with pleasure.

-Tenten

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Tell him I told you to - it'll make him mad, and that will make me laugh_.

Yes, I know! :D I'm being childish. It's fun. (SEE, KAKASHI, I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES THOSE BURGERS, DUMBASS!)

What I will laugh about:  
-Idolization works. But if you help with my nefarious plots, I will make you a Commander. And that would be pretty great.  
-Good girl.  
-It should. I do not bestow my genuine friendship to many. You are clearly the exception.  
-... HE FAILS AT BEING SNEAKY, I AM DROPPING HIS GRADE.

I need permission from your parents, or it could get messy.  
But once we've got that, we're clearly going to rule the world.

-Anko-sama

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _I told him. I have detention now and he started mumbling something about "crazy women"._

Oh, okay! XD I like being childish; it gets me what I want! (BAHAHA, KAKASHI---SJFSBLO,F HAY! This is Kakashi, Anko, stop teaching my students your ways. Buddha knows the world doesn't need another one of yo--hjfmnofk. EXCUSE ME. IGNORE HIM.)

What I will snicker about:  
-...Omg, seriously? Commander?! I shall be called Commandante Tenten. I like the sound of that. You've just gotten yourself a new helper.  
-Why thank you, Kind Lady.  
-I love being an exception, it means I have some sort of super powers.  
-DROP HIS GRADE. DROP IT DAOWN.

I don't have parents; my dad walked out on me and my mom a quatrillion years ago and my mother died when I was thirteen.  
So I suppose we can jump start NAOW.

-Tenten

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _I'm going to tell him that he sucks, and that if he gives you detention, he's not getting any._

It completely does. (KAKASHI, STOP BOTHERING THE SMALL VERSION OF ME! SHE HAS GOOD IDEAS! I NEED A PRODIGY!!!)

What I will laugh about for a second time:  
-Yes, seriously.  
-Kind? What has Kakashi been telling you?!  
-Super powers? Totally. =D  
-I wonder how annoyed he'd be if I failed him...

...Honeh, I'm going to adopt you.  
Seriously.

-Anko-sama

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Bahahaha. He began to cower and whimper and sulk. And I don't have detention any longer. :D_

Yes, which is how I got Princess to buy me my gun. Which I didn't even get to use. (...Anko, this is Kakashi. There will be _no _prodigy for you--kmfcem BAHAHA. KAKASHI-SENSEI ISN'T GONNA GET LAID.)

What I will giggle about:  
-Dude, you're so awesome.  
-Oh, I know you're practically an older version of me. Only ten times as worse. But, see, to me, that's being kind. :D  
-Duh, super powers. Like, super saiyan and stuff. xD  
-OOOH. I VOTE YOU DO IT.

....Wait, what?! A...Adopt _me_?!  
Tenten is now flattered. And flailing.

-Tenten

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _I am suddenly quite amazed at myself. I so ROCK._

I am very, very proud of you. (Kakashi, this is Anko. I win.)

What is going to be my favourite conversation _ever_.  
-I will take this as a compliment.  
-Okay, I was wondering. Because if Kakashi had said I was kind... There would have been blood. And no sex.  
-I'd rather be a mutant, c'mon, Super Saiyan's are over-rated.  
-I just dropped his grade a letter. Wait until you see his face.

Mhmm.  
Because everyone needs cool parents.

-Anko-sama

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _I am amazed as well. Because these powers will one day be bestowed upon me._

My chest is puffing out in pure pride. (He said to leave him alone. Wait... now he said to not take it literally. And that you _better _come over tonight. I am now scarred.)

What will possibly be the highlight of the rest of my life:  
-It was meant to be a compliment. ;)  
-No, he always talks about harpies and asylum escapees when it comes to you. (And me. But still. He talks more about you than me.)  
-But being a super saiyan is super cool. Although... can I be both?  
-I might just have to schedule a meeting with him to cackle in glee at his depression.

...Is it alright if I'm jumping in my seat? Because I am.  
Do I still get to call you 'Anko-sama' or is it 'Mother' now?

-Tenten

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Of course. The prodigy will surpass the master (but only if you whip Hyuuga into shape. I AM TRUSTING YOU HERE, CHILD)_.

Puff it prouder, it'll make the boys in the room pay attention. And then you take them for all they're worth. (Tell him I'm gonna let him sweat it, and if I show up, no chocolate body paint for him. Hon, this scarring isn't even the _beginning_ of what you're going to witness.)

What will _definitely_ be the highlight of my week (this isn't going to be the highlight of the rest of your life; I still have to start taking you to bars):  
-I appreciate that. In return, I think you are clearly the awesomest young person I know.  
-Heh, he wishes I was a harpy - I don't think harpies scratch. (...TELL HIM I FIND THAT ODDLY CREEPY, YET AROUSING.)  
-...Yes, you can definitely be both. And _that right there_ is why I'm going to adopt you.  
-GO FOR IT.

Just "Anko" (Anko-sama is usually reserved for people who annoy me. Like Ferret-Face).  
"Mother" makes me feel old. And want to puke.

-Anko-sama

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Gringringrin. I'll whip him into shape. And I might do it literally if he keeps annoying me._

Okay, got it; puff it prouder, make the boys stare and then use that for my benefit. Oh yeahhhh. (...He said he _likes _the chocolate body paint and that he might not be _nice _if you don't bring it. Oh god... Tenten is scared now... But I might use this to my benefit into scarring Virgin Neji. Baha.)

What will _definitely _make me want to cackle like a hyena (dude...Bars?! SERIOUSLY?! OMFG. I LOVE YOU.):  
-I think, that with that compliment, I will no longer take anyone's bullshit (read: Hyuuga's.)  
-Erm... I have no witty comment for this. (He said that the scratching shall come forth more often....)  
-...I'm actually excited to get adopted. :D 'specially by youuuuuu. I get to learn new...._stuff_.  
-I am. I'm going to make him take me to Luffy's again.

M'kayyyy. Anko it is. Awesome.  
Mother gets overrated really quickly.

-Tenten

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject:_ OH, BONDAGE. You learn quickly. I am proud._

Mhmm. Tease. (Definitely turn it into scarrage [didn't I tell you that this would make you completely immune to getting scarred? Because it will]). ...Well, ice cream is colder then chocolate body paint... Hm, I wonder what'll happen if I blind-fold him...

What is making my class think I'm a lunatic (yes, bars, seriously):  
-NEVER TAKE BULLSHIT FROM ANYONE. EVER. Or, you can, and then stuff it right back up their ass.  
-I didn't think you would. (...Tell him I'm not the one who's going to have scratch marks. You may announce this to the class, and then laugh when he comes in tomorrow with scratch marks all over his arms. :D)  
-Stuff? You will much more then _stuff_.  
-GO FOR IT, CHILD OF MINE.

It really, really does.  
Oh, if you want me to adopt you, you need to bring a witness. I already have mine. :D

-Anko-sama

* * *

To: maskedIchaIcha007  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Hiii._

I need another eensy-weensy-teensy-tiny favour...

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Throw it away, forget yesterday_

'Sup, dude.

So, like. If I remember correctly, you're still my slave.

I'd like to be taken to Luffy's kthxzbai.

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _You and your spazziness_

Last time I checked, you didn't even want to _see_ a burger in my vicinity.

---Mastermind

P.S. I'll pick you up in T-10.

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Bah, you like it. Admit it._

But I said I was sorry. And I just want a burger - that I can _eat _this time.

-Machete

P.S. Okay!

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

"I thought I was only supposed to buy you a burger..."

Tenten rolled her eyes and made sure her (a size larger, because she feels comfortable like that) fleece primary lined (red, black and gray, thank you) button up shirt had no stains on it. She swatted her bangs away as she looked up at the head-and-a-half taller guy walking next to her.

"Oh shut up and stop whining!"

"No. I'm not taking you there--"

"Please! Wait, why am I saying please - I'm your master! Take me!"

"No."

Tenten growled and chewed on her gum extra hard and stomped closer to him; her eyes glued themselves on the set of keys in his hands and an idea popped inside her head. She smirked, "Just take me. Do it!"

"No."

Gah, he was so _annoying_.

She took the last steps she needed to be pressed against him and yanked him down by the front of his plain white t-shirt until his face was leveled to hers. His eyes had widened, face going surprised and then settling for utter confusion. Tenten only grinned and neared him until her lips pressed against his.

And while she did this, and while he got distracted (with complete horror - bahaha, his virgin lips, it made her cackle), she slid the keys out of his grip and into hers.

Tenten pulled away and grinned while shaking the keys in his face. "Guess what? I'll just take you!"

* * *

Neji couldn't believe his eyes.

His loose tie had been forcibly removed from his neck and was, instead, used to tie his ankles and wrists together.

Which was why he was hogtied in the back of a car.

His own car.

He forcibly told himself that he had _let_ her do it.

"Why the hell did you bring me to the courthouse? Are you on trial for murdering someone or something?"

...

It probably wasn't a good sign that, instead of throwing a fit and punching him with the car keys (the only things she had on hand), she gave him a sharp grin.

* * *

Tenten drummed her black-painted nails on the steering wheel as she searched for parking, bobbing her head to the song playing on the radio. And ignoring Neji and his yelling, that too. The insistent whipping of her wavy ponytail was beginning to annoy her, though - _this _is why she liked her buns! She sighed and narrowed her eyes as she continued to look for a damn parking space.

"_Stop calling, stop calling, I don't wanna talk anymore," _Stupid Ino got her way too into Lady Gaga. Seriously. "Oh! Look, a parking space!"

She hit the gas, tires burning the concrete and making that loud squealing noise as she drove like mad after the parking space. There was a thump behind her and Tenten almost choked on her spit with the urge to laugh. "Whoops! My bad!"

The car came into an abrupt stop as she, surprisingly, parked the car quite nicely. She shut off the engine, took out the keys and got off the car, just to open the back doors and sprawl herself on the empty back seats, chin being supported by her right palm as she stared down at the guy laying on the ground with amused amber eyes.

"Are you ready, Hyuuga?"

"Untie me. Now."

"No, no - you're supposed to say 'yes, Master'."

"You're crazy."

"Meh, so I've been told."

She grinned and pocketed the car keys into her dark-skinnies' pockets and helped him up, grunting at his heaviness (just because she was a psycho didn't mean she had the strength of a thousand men!). She grinned as she untied his legs and looked up at him, "See? If you just woulda played nice this wouldn't have had to happen!"

"Shut up."

"Ah, ah, ah! Be nice to Tenten. Now."

She yanked him up and out of the car by his tie and, for measure, she brushed his shoulders and tidied him up - just for the act. And then untied his wrists. "You can't leave, if that's what you're planning. I have your car keys - no I will not hand them over - and if you leave your car in my possession it's as good as gone. So let's go!"

Tenten grinned at him and turned towards the courthouse.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _hey there good looking._

Guess what?

I think you should bring a friend to the skating rink.  
Because I'm bringing a friend. And therefore… we can _double _date.

Wha'choo think about that, Stud?

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _what's cooking, doll?_

I think you're crazy, babe.  
I'll see what I can do.

You're trying to hook someone up, aren't you?  
That's my girl.

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _my brain's doing some plotting, does that count?_

Only for you, babe.  
Okay, good. He has to be hot, though, okay? Don't sprout out a dude with braces and nerd-glasses. Huh, though some of 'em can pull it off...  
Right.

Yes I am... Is it that obvious. Damn.  
Of course. Heartheart.

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _when you plot, i get scared. does _that_ count?_

...I think I'm a bad influence on you.  
Eh, Dead-Last is busy with his brand-new girlfriend, Sharkbait's too much of a loser to know how to skate... so, it'll be the Prick.  
And he only agreed to come if I would forfeit the picture I took of him sleeping with his favourite teddy bear.  
This means you owe me - that was one of the best pieces of blackmail I had on him.

It was that obvious, sorry, doll.  
But that's why I like you.

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _yes, because then i get to hug you._

...Don't be silly - I'm crazy by default. You just make me crazier.  
Aw, he has a new girlfriend! How adorable! Sharkbait's... I'm going to say an idiot. Ice skating is easehhh.  
OMFG I GET TO MEET THE PRICK! This is me flailing around the dance studio with my Blackberry in hand. :D  
And... he has a favorite teddy bear. I WANT TO PULL HIS CHEEK. AND IF HE TRIES TO BITE MY HAND OFF I'D JUST BITCH SLAP HIM.  
Okay, I owe you. How may I repay you, Kind Sir?

Damn. I gotta work on that slickness, then.  
You only like me for that? I'm wounded.

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _fair enough._

I try, believe me, I do.  
He's constantly ranting about her... He calls her Snowy-chan? He's so fucking into her, it's scary. Yes, Sharkbait is an idiot. :D (Ha, I one-up him _again_!)  
...I'm suddenly not sure if this is a good thing, or not...  
Ha, I'd laugh my ass off if you bitch-slapped him. It might knock some sense into the stupid asshole.  
You could let me pick you up from dance. That would be payment enough.

Yeah, you should.  
I like you for _way_ more then that, doll.  
You should know that by know.

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _fairness is a good thing, methinks._

I think you do to. But I hope you don't hurt yourself, babe.  
OMFG. THAT'S HIM! SNOWY-CHAN IS MY BFF! OMFG! THAT'S MY OTPPPPPPPPP! (I don't even WANT to know WHY you two keep scores.)  
...But whyyy? He's for my best friend, not me, love. I won't be able to keep my eyes off of you. Promise.  
I think I might end up doing it if he's a jerk to my bff.  
Okay, pick me up in twenty, yes?

You're not supposed to agree with me, jerk. DX  
I know, I know. I actually like it when you _show _me, though. Wink.

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _is it fair that you're gorgeous? no, it's not_.

You _know_ I try. And you also _know_ I'm not a masochist.  
Huh, I'm going to remind him not to hurt her. Because then you'll end up upset, and that would annoy me. (We keep score because he wants to prove he's better. And I always come out on top.)  
... I'm going to pretend I wasn't jealous.  
I almost want you to smack him anyways. It would be hilarious.  
Done. See you, babe.

Hey, what else do you keep me around for, other then agreeing with you?  
What, do you want me to pick you up and swing you around, or something?

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _yes it is. because then i get what i want. :D_

Okay, if you say so, babe.  
I won't get upset. I'll get seriously pissed off and I will go on and knock him down sideways. Or possibly bitch-slap him back into his mama's womb. (Wow. There is no word for the two of you. It's so adorable.)  
Nope, you already were. And I'm already giggling.  
I WILL smack him. Watch. I'd like him to talk smart to me.  
See you! Don't take _too _long.

Meh, I keep you around because you've become an excellent accessory.  
I dunno, that's up to you. :D

-Bombshell

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Kiba stuffed his hands in jeans pockets, and breathed out a puff of steam into the pre-winter air. Damn, he could already see his breath... He tugged his worn leather jacket a little closer around his torso, and tugged on his red-brown-gold striped scarf. It was goddamn cold out.

He rounded the corner, and headed for Illusions Dance Studio. It was only a three minute walk from work, Kiba mused. He was mildly amused that he hadn't known of it's existence -or the existence of the girl he was kindasortamaybe (and was kindasortamaybe in like with) dating- until barely two weeks ago.

The sidewalk was salted - they were already preparing for snow. Kiba reached the entrance of a large, simplistic building made mostly of red brick, dark wood, and glass, and gently pushed the glass double doors open. He walked into a large, open foyer, and met the square, unwavering stare of a red-eyed woman with long black hair.

They stood there for a full minute before she said "And you are?"

"Uh... I'm Kiba Inuzuka... I'm looking for Ino?"

The almost-glare melted off her face, and she smiled at him for the first time. "Oh, so _you're_ the one she was babbling non-stop to Karin about. Well, it's nice to meet you - I'm Kurenai. She's in Studio Four - it's down that hallway, and it's the second door on the left."

Kiba nodded his thanks, and went down the dark wooden floors. He quietly shook his head to himself - this place would have cost a fortune. No wonder Ino loved it so much. He headed straight to the indicated door, and peered inside.

What he saw left him more then speechless.

* * *

Ino loved dancing.

It was, first and foremost, her passion and her favourite pass-time.

The music that filled the mirrored room was the fast, upbeat remix of one of her favourite songs - it made her _move_. Grand plié, fouette, low to the ground, plié... She kept her eyes closed as she danced through the familiar moves - all of which were ingrained into her very being.

(_I wanna just dance  
But he took me home instead  
Uh oh! There was a monster in my bed_)

She arched her leg up over her head as the music slowed for a minute - only to whip it back down and half-turn, her hip to the side, as the music sped. Ino knew that when she danced, people said they could see her soul - she danced more herself then anyone had a right to be. It was althetic, fast, and a little dangerous. Shuffle, shuffle.

(_We french kissed on a subway train  
He tore my clothes right off  
He ate my heart then he ate my brain_)

Ino spun her body, grace made tangible, and slowed... the song would end soon, and she would open her eyes, she knew, but she couldn't help setting herself up to finish the song on a high note - fouette, fouette, fouette.

(_That boy is a monster  
M-m-m-monster  
[Could I love him?]_)

She froze in place as the music faded into thin air; counted her breaths, and opened her eyes. Her pupils dilated to deal with the influx of light, and she turned once, to reassure herself she hadn't lost her touch. Hm, obviously not. Ino smiled to herself, and turned-

She screamed when she saw Kiba standing in the doorway, jaw hanging on the floor.

* * *

Kiba watched the colour flood through Ino's face. He had _no words_ to describe how floored he was - that was pretty much the most incredible thing he had ever seen in his entire life. He didn't even know it was possible for the human body to _move_ like that.

He walked up to her slowly, predator stalking prey, and stood over her for a moment, looking down at her. He could tell she was damning her height, and he carefully leaned down, until they were nose to nose, and he could feel her shallow breathing against his face.

Then he wrapped his arms around her, and swung her around for a good minute and a half. They stood there, wrapped in each other, and he whispered "Holy fuck, Ino, that was beautiful. I just - just- _wow_."

* * *

Ino couldn't help but burst into fits of giggles and buried her nose unto his neck, too shy and too embarrassed to even look at him after he saw her at one of her weakest moments. Dancing made Ino vulnerable, and he... caught her in the act.

"You're early," she mumbled against his neck and she fell in love with his scent. So masculine, so leathery, so sandalwoody, so wood-smokey. God, Ino went lightheaded.

Her breathing hitched when he took a tender hold of her chin and pulled her back until they were face to face and their eyes clashed. She completely stopped breathing as she lost herself in his gorgeous eyes.

And then he was kissing her. Softly, tenderly, gently; a sweet kiss that made Ino soar. It was pure instincts the way her arms tightened around his neck, the way her fingers entangled themselves with his unruly brown tresses. Ino went weak in the knee. If he hadn't had a strong hold on her, she would have fallen to the ground like a broken doll.

"I need to change," she murmured against his lips, eyes still closed.

"Okay," but he never let her go.

"Kiba," she tried again, a smile taking a hold of her lips, "I have to _change_."

"Right."

But instead he kissed her again.

* * *

Ino, Kiba could tell, was somewhere in between melting against him, and struggling out of his arms, so she could have her way. Bossy girl.

He tightened his grip around her waist. _Minemineminemine_.

She squeaked rage at him, her blue eyes flaming. "You!" she proclaimed. "You have to let me go, because I need to change so that we can go skating because I need to hook Sakura up with your man-friend so that she will stop moping over her lame gay ex-boyfriend so that I can prove that I am amazin-"

He grinned down at her. "And what if I don't want to let you go, princess?"

Ino huffed, colouring high in her cheeks. "I'd be mad at you. And then I won't get to hook Sakura up, and I _have_ to hook her up! It's my job as her best friend, I have to make things super-awkward and get her pretty boys!"

"Sure you would, you matchmaking weirdo."

She smiled at him, and stood up on tip toe to kiss him again. It was soft, a brushing of lips against lips, but Kiba was suddenly pretty sure that everything else could wait. Skating could wait, her friend could wait, stupid Sasuke could wait, the rest of the _world_ could wait.

Kiba just laughed softly, and loosened his arms. "You're crazy, but fine."

* * *

She came back, clad in light-blue skinnies, gray leg-warmers and a black pea-coat over a simple white long-sleeved shirt and white vans. Her hair was up in a pony-tail, bangs framing her face and a bright smile adorning her lips.

Ino crept up behind an oblivious Kiba and wrapped her arms around his arm, going on her tippy-toes to lean her chin on his broad shoulder. "I'm ready..."

He turned to look at her and grinned his signature wolfish grin. "Great - you look amazing, kiddo."

She blushed. "That name isn't fair play!"

"Your gorgeousness isn't fair play."

Ino just grinned and led him out of the studio, feverishly waving at Kurenai as she did so. She allowed Kiba to lead her to his car but before he could even open the passenger's door, she stopped him and pinned him against the car. "Another wasted minuted won't hurt," she murmured as she got back up on her tippy toes and placed her lips against his.

And she grinned when not even a heartbeat later did he wrap his arms around her small waist and kissed her back.

* * *

Itachi was reading Criminal Law and Its Processes: Cases and Material, Eighth Edition when Sasuke went running down the stairs.

"Where are you going?" he asked without bothering to look up from his book.

"The fucking mutt is making me go ice skating with him and his... gal pal," he muttered before stuffing his feet in beaten black Vans before sprinting out, red laces flashing in the late afternoon sun's dying embers.

Half a minute passed before Itachi flew off the couch, grabbed his jacket and threw his feet into his shoes, and called to his mother that he was going to go hang out with Shisui.

And then he was gone.

Itachi ran the two blocks to Shisui's house, mind racing. He hadn't talked to Shisui since he had- since the Behind The Bush events had transpired. Admittedly, he had ignored that feeling in the pit of his stomach that had warmed up upon- when the Event occurred and he had cleared the incident from his mind. Considering how well he knew Shisui, he could pretty much guarantee that she would not bring it up if he didn't.

Truthfully, it wasn't like the event had meant anything to him. That warm feeling probably had more to do with the onigiri he had eaten for lunch (he had _told_ his foolish little brother remove everything from the fridge that had been more than a week old or smelled odd. Itachi suspected that his brother only gave funerals to the tomatoes and didn't consider anything else as food or liable to going bad). He probably kissed Shisui because he hadn't had any in a while and she was the closest person.

Obviously she hadn't either, ergo he had done them both a favor.

Suffice it to say that Itachi had, after taking a crash course in the subject, learned how to swim in De Nial.

By the time all these thoughts were processed, he found himself at the home of his cousin, his Other Cousin, his uncle, and aunt. Itachi, upon reaching the door, grabbed the extra key that was kept over the doorframe and let himself in.

Just taking a few seconds to kick his shoes off, place them neatly by the door, and stuff his feet into the slippers that his aunt had bought for him to wear in their house (Buddha knew that he basically _lived_ in their house), he ran up the stairs and down the hall, stopping by the second door on the left side.

"Shisui, the mission commences... again."

* * *

Part of Shisui -the part that was consistently annoyed by Itachi's denial and sometimes by his existence- screamed vengence, and ordered her to _shut the door, don't let him, HE IS GOING TO BREAK YOU AND IT WILL HURT AND WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO MEE?!_

"Uh... what? Itachi, I've got _homework_ that I have to do..."

Itachi gave her a straight, blank look that, when translated in Shisui's head, said something along the lines of "My brother's sexual orientation is being questioned here. You are going to help me!"

Shisui huffed, and crossed her arms over her chest. "You better damn well help me, if I go with you, understand?! Because I do _not_ want to get on Jiraiya's bad side again - he'd be making sick jokes about me for a week! And I actually _like_ my philosophy course, thanks!"

Itachi continued to stare at her blankly.

Sometimes Shisui really hated him. She quietly listened to the Temari voice in her head that said _Remember, Shi, it's a policy of silence unless he brings it up - don't talk about That Kiss, don't think about it, pretend you didn't _feel_ it, and everything should be fine... You are such a masochist, did you know?_

She sighed, and resigned herself to _yet another_ day of being Far Too Close to Itachi. She hugged herself, and said "Okay, what are we doing, and how long will it take?"

* * *

On the inside, Itachi was split.

One side was making a great show of being relieved that Shisui seemed to have forgotten about the kiss or was just not going to mention it. _Obviously it means nothing, so loosen up_!

Then the other side had built its own little emo-corner where it was gazing at a picture of Shisui with sadness. _Dude, you lo-_

The first side punched Side Two into its emo-corner. _Shut up, dude. Are you blind or can you just not see that you Are Not Helping?_

Ignoring the two voices, Itachi answered her question. "Sasuke is going ice-skating with a friend and his friend's... 'gal pal' and since I don't think even any of his friends would do the third-wheel deal, he must be on a blind date.

"Which, considering his rush out there door, he doesn't know about."

The logic was most certainly in his favor.

"So we're going to go ice skating," Shisui concluded, her voice almost faint.

"Yes," he said, "We're going skating."

* * *

Kiba had to remind himself that they were, in fact, supposed to be picking up Ino's friend and Sasuke within the next ten minutes. It was pretty much the only thing that kept him from tossing her in the back of his car and making love to her on the seats. He nuzzled the junction of her neck and shoulder, and murmured "How mad would your friend be if we didn't show up?"

"She'd be pretty freakin' mad... She might, like, kill me, or something."

"Huh, damn. We'd probably better stop making out, or we're gonna be late, kiddo. And if you're friend is picky about being on time, I don't want you to get killed for something that's not your fault."

Kiba checked his cell, and growled at the back of his throat - there were about eight missed texts, all from Sasuke, that generally went along the lines of:

**From: Emo Prince  
To: Mutt  
You fucking fleaball, where the hell are you?**

Kiba groaned, and quickly sent one back that said **FUCK OFF, DUDE. I have better things to do then _you_. be there in ten.**

Then he made a great show of opening the passenger door for Ino, bowed her in, and said "Your carriage, my Lady. Where does your friend live? We _are_ picking her up, right?"

* * *

Ino felt like a total buffoon, grinning and blushing - but he caused her to do such things with such simple gestures.

Gah, Ino _reallyreallyreally _wished they didn't have to go meet up with Sakura and Kiba's friend. But then again she _needed _to make Sakura forget about Sir Fag and stop moping around at random intervals. Because Sakura deserved better and Ino'd be damned if she'd allow her to settle for less.

She sighed almost dreamily as Kiba went around the car and to the driver's seat. He flashed her a dashing grin as he started the engine, queued the radio to a good station and then he did something that made Ino go breathless. Again.

He intertwined their hands together.

She bit the side of her lip and allowed a bashful smile to overcome her lips and from the corner of her eyes, she caught him grinning in pure triumph.

"Where does your friend live?"

And Ino _tried_ to concentrate on giving him the directions. Really, she did.

* * *

Kiba kept his hand curled around the clutch, as Ino quietly gave him directions, a slow smile on her lips. They ended up in front of a small, pretty house with a large, and, given the fact that it was winter, rather empty garden. Ino slipped out of the car, and headed straight to the front door; she failed to ring the bell, threw open the door, and dragged a girl with pink hair out behind her.

The girl - "Sakura, meet Kiba, Kiba, this is my best friend Sakura" - was unceremoniously stuffed into the back seat.

The pink blob grumbled doom, and Kiba laughed to himself. Ino was trying to set Sasuke up with someone who looked as... pink... as _that_? Ino didn't have a chance; she didn't know how very deep Sasuke's angst went. But then again, Sasuke, El Emo Douche Extraordinare, didn't have a clue at how conniving Kiba knew Ino to be.

Kiba leaned back in his seat, and grinned slightly when Ino's fingers curled around his. Pretty girl.

* * *

Only him.

Only that stupid Mutt would take over an hour to fucking pick him up. Sasuke _knew _he should have just driven there himself but noooo, that stupid Mongrel just _had _to have blackmail on him and he just _had _to be smart enough to know how to use it and he just _had _to be specific on how the whole thing was supposed to go.

In other words, he could not have taken his precious '78 Camaro (which the Mutt himself had fixed up from it's epic-junk-yard-doom to the amazing black sheen-sparkle-sparkle worthiness it is now) because the Mutt... because the Mutt _sucked_.

Sasuke growl-sighed for the nth time, slouching down in his seat in the bus stop closest to his house, beat up black vans (with red laces because he was cool like that) clad feet stretching out before him. He had a feeling that his black skinnies (which he usually rode a bit low around his hips) were now... to the point where his boxers were showing and Sasuke was really too lazy to stand up and pull them up; he was thankful that there was no damn fangirls around to ogle. Because then he'd be more disturbed than usual.

An hour and two minutes.

Fucking Mutt.

He growl-sighed yet again and took out his black G1 and surfed the internet. Better than staring off to the distance and looking like a pot-head.

An hour and three minutes.

Sasuke almost sneered.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No subject_

Hey.

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _the world is a dark, cold place..._

WHERE PRETTY BOYFRIENDS TURN OUT TO LIKE THE RAINBOW-BUFFET.

So yeah.  
Hi.

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Erm... Sulking...?_

Who fucked with you lately?

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _NO._

Actually.  
My boyfriend turned out gay.  
I caught him macking some freaking _guy_.  
I might have just turned my boyfriend, who is _pretty_, gay.  
Now I have to look out for rabid fangirls while trying not to gorge on ice cream and chocolate and salty Tears of Shame.  
So I think I should go find a hiding place while I still can.

What about you, Mr. Pretty Boy With Fangirls?

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _....Okay...._

Your boyfriend...  
The one you spoke about in the beginning of these emails.  
Is gay.  
Huh.

Its not your fault. It's his for trying to hide it by dating you.

I'm fine. Normal. The same way I was yesterday and the day before that.

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _Boys suck._

I haven't seen him or talked to him since then.  
He hasn't even fucking tried to _explain_ the situation to me.  
Which makes me wonder why I went out with him because he obviously doesn't care about me.

Thank you.  
It didn't exactly make me _feel_ better, but some things are much clearer.  
To feel better, understanding and closure is needed.

Does nothing interesting ever happen to you?  
Is your life like that movie _Groundhog Day_? Where the guy relives the same day again and again?  
Well, except time moves forward for you...  
Okay, so I'll ask you a different question each email to catch a glimpse of your life that is apparently always the same!

Question 1: What did you do before going to class today?

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _...Not all of them..._

Well, if he doesn't give a fuck about your feelings, than you should just forget about him.

Hn.  
It's just the simple truth.

It depends on what you consider interesting.

Answer 1: I didn't have class today. I'm hanging out with a friend.

(I have a feeling these are going to be troublesome.)

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _... Like who. Name someone who isn't... isn't, well, SUCK-ISH._

It's not that easy. I won't say it was love, but we did go out for a year.  
I guess that, in a way, it's more a blow against my pride. Shouldn't it have been obvious that he wasn't into me?

Question no. 2: What are you doing with said friend?  
Hell yeah, they'll be troublesome for you. I'll have to think of some interesting questions! =D

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _I don't know. You have to find that person, I suppose._

Well at least it didn't go as far.  
Maybe he was good at acting, therefore you couldn't tell.

Answer 2: We're hanging out downtown.  
I figured. Sigh - whatever. Aren't I supposed to be asking the questions?

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _You're a fat load of help._

I suppose.  
He can't act to save his life. He looks kinda fake.

What did I _see_ in him?!

Welllll, seeing as you aren't really asking me any...

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Well what the hell do you want me to say? He's right around the corner?_

Then how could you _not _have been able to notice?  
Maybe you were just too... what the hell is the term.. _into _him. Yeah.

Alright, I'll ask -

What're you doing?

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _That would be nice. Optimistically foolish, but a kind thought._

Maybe I didn't want to see it.  
Buddha knows if he started out gay or I turned out gay.

I'm being kidnapped.

-Superstar

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

"I still see no point in why I'm here."

Ino's blue eyes narrowed as she sighed vehemently. "Forehead, I am _this_ close," she turned in her seat and pinched her fore-finger really close to her thumb, "to pushing you out of the car. Just sit back and enjoy the ride we'll be at the rink in less than an hour now es-tee-eff-you. Seriously."

"Tch--"

"Say _another _word. Your stupid poison threats don't scare me, betch - I have super nagging-powers."

She almost sighed aloud in contentment - usually it took _way _more to shut Sakura up; they'd usually just go on and on and on arguing until Hinata came up and went all psycho on them. But Ino supposed that Sakura just either didn't have the energy (stupid Sir Fag and his stupid fuck-up) or she just didn't want to go at it in front of Kiba (d'awwww, how nice of her).

Speaking of Kiba...

Ino slowly turned to peer at the guy from the corner of her eyes, almost swooning all over again at his pure amazingness. Gah, it must have been some sort of crime she had to pay from a past life to have her meet him this late in life. He made Ino feel... she wasn't going to be cliche and say he made her feel alive, because she has been alive since the day she was born; but he made her feel this... this unexplainable feeling that made her tummy clench and unclench, made her heart jump up to her throat and then slowly float down to her tummy, made her nerves tingle and tingle.

Did that feeling have a name?

Ino didn't really know.

"Ne, Pig ("Forehead stop _calling_ me that!"), why do _I _have to come?"

She sighed and, with her free hand, rubbed her temples. "Because I said so."

* * *

Kiba next checked his phone at the red light (he hated getting stuck behind slow drivers. Little fuckers had no clue how annoying they were). There was yet another text from Sasuke - he was, apparently, getting more then a little bit annoyed.

**From: Emo Prince  
To: Mutt  
If you do not pick me up from the bus stop near my house in the next two minutes, I am going to kill you. And your blackmail will be voided.**

Kiba snickered, and tucked his phone back into his pocket without replying. Eh, Sasuke could wait another few minutes, it wasn't going to kill him. 'Sides, they were pulling up to said bus stop right then - Kiba could see his awkward, hormone-less friend's horrible chicken-butt hair right that second.

Kiba turned around, and said "Uh, Sakura, I think you should probably move over... Someone's gonna be getting in that side."

Sakura looked confused for a moment, and then began to steam. Ino giggled, and Kiba just grinned innocently as he rolled the window down, and yelled to a _very_ disgruntled Sasuke "Hey, douche, get your ass in here! We're going skating!"

* * *

Sasuke looked up, obsidian-black eyes locking on Kiba, who was on the other side of the window - inside the car. Sasuke turned to look at the blond girl sitting next to him and almost sighed dejectedly; that must be... his new _friend_.

He stood up and, with his casual stride (helped by stuffing his hand into the pouch-pocket-thing his pull-down hoodie) made his way towards the car. He opened the door, and without looking, hopped in. He said no words, because he had none; and if he were to open his mouth, he'd probably bite Kiba's head off. He just slouched in his seat, knees touching the back of the passenger's seat, hands still stuffed in the pouch-pocket-thing.

And then he felt the presence of someone sitting next to him.

He peered at the person from the corner of his eyes, through the strands of rebellious hair that fell in front of his face and... almost did a double-take.

It was that girl!

The girl that gets emotional when one tries to go to a public bathroom!

Sasuke blinked but didn't say anything because Sasuke _never _says anything.

"Emo Prince."

"Mutt."

And that was it.

...Now if only that emotional girl would _stop gawking at him_. Fuck.

* * *

...

Sakura was kinda waiting for the dark blue top of the girl to shatter in a burst of lightning blue electricity. In fact, she looked up at it, praying for it to take away this really awkward silence while "Emo Prince" looked at her for a few minutes. It was one of those stares that make you wriggle in your seat as you felt the Albus Dumbledore Effect- as if his gaze was X-raying her and getting underneath her skin.

Very uncomfortable, so Sakura coughed and said in a very high voice, "So. Ino. You. Him." She nodded her head at the driver with the wild brown hair. "What's up?"

* * *

Ino almost choked on her spit as she went as stiff as a rod in her seat.

Gah, so much for Sakura being kind and not embarrass her in front of Kiba. Seriously, sometimes Ino wishes this girl would _understand _the terms of _girl talk after the date_. Stupid Forehead. She ignored the girl's question, decided that she was going to _kill _said girl and allowed her brain to concentrate on the song that was playing.

She turned to the radio and raised the volume. "I like this song!"

* * *

Sasuke sighed and rested his head on the back of his seat and closed his eyes.

Girls and their talks. Tch. What he was doing just to keep his dignity; stupid Mutt and his stupid blackmail. Stupid Dobe - he probably helped him out with that stupid picture. Stupidstupidstupid. Why was he friends with these morons again?

At least the emotional girl stopped gawking at him.

...Lady Gaga was now playing on the radio. Great.

This was the most annoying car-ride in his life - riding with Itachi and his fag-friends (KonanwashotKonanwashot) was better than _this_. Because this was _every single synonym _to the word awkward. He cleared his throat and turned to look out the window.

Stupid Mutt. Stupid blackmail. Stupid Dobe.

Tch.

* * *

After taking stock of the situation at hand, Sakura couldn't help herself.

She started giggling.

The driver was gripping the steering wheel as if it was a lifesaving device and making weird choking noises as if he was trying not to laugh with her; Ino was drumming her fingernails on the island in-between her seat and the driver, sitting stiffly (Sakura can tell she's trying not to glare at her); and Emo Prince was currently emo-ing out, though he was starting to inch away from her while giving her a "you sound like a rabid dog" look.

But the giggling started to dwindle and silence reigned again.

Until Sakura decided to break it, as the awkward tension was starting to suffocate her.

"So, um, what's your name?"

* * *

It was utterly silent after that.

Sasuke continued to stare out the window, and the other two were silent as hell. As a matter of fact, he didn't really care to whom the question was directed towards. Because... he just didn't care so there.

"Hell_o_."

Sasuke smirked.

"Hey."

And like the last time, the pink-cotton-candy-thing huffed and bloated her cheeks in anger. She was about to say something witty towards him, he knew so he turned to look at her, eyebrow raised and facial expression blank. She stopped, mouth clamping shut as she stared at him for a minute before going back to her verbal attack attempt.

"Dude, Emo-Prince, would you quit teasing her and just tell her your damn name."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Wasn't she asking _you_, Mutt."

"No, she knows _my _name, Ass."

"Hn." He turned to look at Sakura again, studied her for a quick second and then stared back out the window. "Sasuke."

* * *

Sakura lifted an eyebrow in the kind of expression that generally made Ino faceplant. "Wow. Wasn't that oh-so-fucking-challenging, right? I mean, asking for your name must be_ just_ as hard as walking straight up a tree, yeah? I'm sorry for asking such _hard_ questions, Sir Stick-Up-My-Ass."

Sasuke gave her an indescribable look.

"Yes, I'm talking to you! Would it _kill_ you to be polite? You- you- you- asdkjfh, WOULD YOU JUST LET ME OUT OF THE CAR?!"

* * *

Above Kiba's cackles, Sasuke smirked and glared. At the same time. Yes, it was possible.

"Huh, so the schizophrenic bitc--"

"WHOA, OKAY. THAT'S ENOUGH." Ino turned around in her seat and glared at the two. So much for a fucking fun time - they _better _get along soon. Or Ino was going to have a bitch fit. "You, Pretty Boy - play nice or I _will _bitch slap you back to where you came from; you know _perfectly well _where I'm talking about. Forehead - calm. The. Fuck. Down. Let's make love not war."

Sasuke just turned back to the window, and ignored the girl next to him.

* * *

Giving a small huff, Sakura turned to look out the window as bright city lights flashed by.

"I wish I were home," she muttered. There were a lot of things she wished, now that she thought about it. She wished that her pen pal was nicer. She wished Sai wasn't gay. She wished that she didn't feel like she had turned him gay. She wished her parents were alive. She wished that the annoying Emo Prince was as nice as he was pretty (something she had to admit). She wished he looked nothing like Sai because it made her want to just _crybreakdowndrownintears_.

Actually, she just wished she was home and that Ino hadn't bugged her into coming on this... trip to the ice rink.

* * *

After _that_ little.... spat, the rest of the ride was quiet.

But finally they arrived to the damn ice rink and Sasuke decided that he hated ice skating. He hated being here and he hated Kiba at the moment for being such a damn douche. He sighed and got out of the car once Kiba parked. He looked at the blond girl, quickly analyzed her and deemed her.... pretty, he supposed. Definitely something Kiba'd go for. He stuffed his hands in his pouch-pocket-thing once again and brought up the rear of their foursome.

His eyes, off their own accord, would turn to the short pink-thing and he'd glare a bit. He didn't know why nor did he care. It just happened.

And he found it amusing how she was stomping.

When they entered the rink-place, and Kiba decided to be an ass and only get the ice skates for himself and the blond-chick, Sasuke growled and got in line. But he noticed Sakura just sat there, sulking and stare-glaring at the people skating around.

When he came back to where they were (or she, since Kiba and the blond-chick were already making their way to the rink), he handed her a pair of ice skates... while facing away from her. Because he _wasn't _blushing. Really.

"Sorry," he mumbled under his breath before walking away.

Sasuke could have sworn he heard someone call, "Sorry about the bathroom incident," from behind him.

...

But it was probably his imagination.

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**sonya**: this chapter was kind of all over the place, but we're trying to develop all characters, so it gets a little complicated. is it just me or are itachi & shi-chan rather masochistic? nvmd, they _are_ in love with pain. pain, not Pain, bee-tee-dubs. i love the mix of drama, humor, angst, & romance...? & I LOVE WRITING ITACHI. & here i go again, writing über long notes... . (a.k.a. THE FOXY GRIN)  
**Saraa**: holy jeez, there is a _lot_ going on in this chapter.... HI, HELLO, IT'S ALMOST SARAA'S BIRTHDAY. she will be eighteen tomorrow. ugh. she feels icky and old.  
**les**: HE ATE MY HEART. HE ATE MY HEART. THAT BOY'S A MONSTER. (oh! les loves tenten and her epicness. and kibaino. and sasuke - les _loves _sasuke-kun no matter _what_.)


	9. how to meticulously ignore the obvious

Hmmm... well, hello there, all. Thanks for the reviews-slash-support. You know we love you.  
**Disclaimer**: yeah, still not ours.  
**Dedication**: to mis-matched socks, bright coloured (like yellow) bags, and red lipstick. because it's hawt.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Despite all of his other possible _personal_ issues and redoubtable qualities, Itachi was good at chess.

He knew how to move the pieces in wide sweeping arcs to faze his opponents so that, the next time they blinked, their king would be knocked over and he would be gone like a flock of crows in a tree. He knew how to use the king as more than the weakest piece in need of protection. It was part of his method to break the general misconception of its usefulness The queen- most people's prized piece as it is the most versatile- was his backup piece as the pawns were the ones that would have the chance to become more than figures that can be sacrificed for the common goal.

In other words, chess had always been rather _forward_ to Itachi.

_Unfortunately_, Itachi thought disgustedly, _girls are nothing like chess_.

By now, he was almost _wishing_ he was really gay.

* * *

Shisui hummed to herself - she hadn't been ice-skating in so long!

Of course, as far as Itachi was concerned, this was just reconnaissance -recon was that thing that _particularly_ bored Shisui-, but it was... special, she supposed. Skating had always been her favourite winter activity as a child, and she could still remember the first time she had learned to lace her own skates up; still remembered how the feeling of wind whipping colour into her cheeks; still remembered laughing aloud in the cold, clear air; still remembered holding Itachi's hand when they were both learning how to properly skate (that last one _also_ made her remember _other_ things; thing's she'd rather _not_ remember).

She shot a glance at her cousin. Itachi was muttering to himself, the same way he always did when he was deeply contemplating something. He'd been like that ever The Foliage Incident Which We Will Never Speak Of Again (Temari's personal name for it - that Girl's Night In had been particularly in-depth).

Shisui blinked, as she thought about what they were about to do. "Hey, Ita, do you realize that they're probably setting Sasuke up, right? And that every single person in this oval is probably on a date, right?"

* * *

Outwardly, Itachi didn't even blink at that statement.

On the inside, though, side one was bashing side two's head (who looked suspiciously like Deidara and Itachi respectively) against a wall_._

After Shisui had brought it up, it was pretty obvious. After all, the rest were either acquainted with Sasuke or Naruto, or else a victim of six degrees of separation. In either case, at least half of the people were interested in bringing Naruto's goal to fruition: _straighten Sasuke out_. Literally and metaphorically.

But Itachi had a counterargument. One that didn't involve watching his cousin -_cousin_, he reminded himself forcefully- smoothly make her way across the ice, her eyes sparkling like the small chips of ice littering ice rinks.

"My foolish little brother is probably going to break away from the group and do something like Sai did last weekend. _We must know the truth. We can _handle_ the truth._"

* * *

Shisui gave him the most deadpan look she'd ever given anyone. Sasuke wasn't gay - she was sure of that. He didn't set her gaydar off the way Sai consistently did (as much as she tried to deny, Sai had been setting Shisui's gaydar off since he first turned twelve - she just hadn't realized he'd been stealing her lipstick), so she didn't really even understand why Itachi was worried. Sasuke was perfectly straight, if a little bit strange-and-or-eccentric.

"Ita, Sasuke _isn't gay_. What if he doesn't break away from the group, hm? What if he just spends his time with his friends? You will have wasted my _entire_ afternoon for absolutely _nothing_. I'm going skating, whether you're there or not, okay? That way, we can keep an eye on Sasu-cakes, and _you_ can stop being such a stick in the mud!" she huffed at him, her hands on her hips.

"'Sides," she continued, "Could you _really_ handle it if Sasuke _was_ gay? That'd be two in the family, coming out within a week of each other... Your mother would cry. No grandbabies. So can we just skate? Please?"

Shisui knew she sounded plaintive. But she was tired of playing this stupid game of cat-and-mouse they had going.

* * *

Just ice skating.

The thought rang in his head like a bird lost in a bell tower.

He never did anything just for the sake of doing something. There was a purpose to everything he did. He took law so that he could be a step over a police officer like his father had been. He could help put those who wronged others in jail and keep those wrongly accused out of cells they did not deserve. This penpal project was not just so he could get rare reports on what kind of minds teenagers had - it was to investigate his brother's sexual orientation. He had kissed Shisui beca-

That violent side of his subconscious blew up that thought.

It was too close to The Bush Thing and he wasn't sure he could handle _that_ particular truth.

So maybe it was just because of his avoidance of That Topic or perhaps it was because Anko had told him who Kiba's "gal pal" was with that really creepy tone to her email that suggested that she was cackling on the inside and planning on using that particular information to somehow take over the world, but Itachi gave a nod.

"Let's skate."

He tried to ignore how he choked on spit while saying the words and made it sound like "let's date".

* * *

The relief that swept over Shisui was almost palpable. Fine, he'd choked a bit as he'd said it, but he'd given in, and that was what mattered. Shisui smiled at her, her bangs curling around her face. It had been a long time since she'd just _smiled_, Shisui mused.

She grabbed his hand, and tugged him towards the oval - she wanted to _skate_.

Shisui had to wonder if Itachi felt the same sparks of electicity that she did - _probably not_, her annoyingly realistic mind said. Because they were just cousins, just family, in his head. And that killed way more then it should have.

Of course, Shisui could hear Konan's sing-song voice in her head "_Ha-haaa, it's about time! You know he wants you, so what'cha gonna do now, Shi-chan?_"

To answer her own, mental question: absolutely nothing. She was going to go skating, and was going to have fun, and by god, she was going to be his cousin. Because, for god's sake, she's rather have him as a friend-slash-cousin then nothing.

Shisui didn't want to think about living without him.

The thought hurt too much.

* * *

He hated skating.

Don't get him wrong, he knew how - his brother and his cousin had made sure of that. Its just an utterly troublesome sport. And he hated it more when he was skatng around and around in this stupid rink. It was fucking poluted with couples; it irked and annoyed Sasuke. In all seriousness.

He's passed the stupid Mutt three times already - him and his blond-chick lady-friend. At the moment, he was coming closer to the girl that got emotional over public bathrooms. He slowed down a bit, not so that he was skating right next to her, but enough so that he was even if just a bit in front of her.

His hood was on, making his bangs cover his eyes more than they usually did, his hands stuffed inside his pouch-pocket-things as he lazily skated around. He turned to peer at the girl through his darkdarkdark hair. Sasuke wasn't one for conversation, but rather valued his silence more than anyone else could. But... this girl...

He glared.

"Then what's your name," he found himself asking, low - a mutter. Dammit, so much for valuing silence.

* * *

Sakura had watched him approach. The effortless way he put one foot in front of the other and pushed off the back foot... it made her insanely jealous. Why couldn't she be that graceful on skates?! Okay, so it wasn't like she was bad at it. She didn't take tiny steps or_fling_ her back foot behind her to go somewhere...

But she didn't look like she was _dancing_ while ice skating. Compared to Sasuke- who ice skated like Michelle Kwan- she felt like an elephant on skates.

As he skated smoothly past her, he heard him mumble something.

"Come again?"

"Then what's your name?" he repeated, just a little bit louder than he had before. Sasuke wasn't looking at her, preferring to, instead, look into the distance, his eyes narrowed at Kiba and Ino. Then his gaze turned to look at her and she almost got lost in eyes darker than black and deeper than the Mariana Trench.

But then she decided that there was something even better than getting lost.

So she flicked her long bangs out of her eyes, skated away, and turned around slightly just to flash him a teasing smile.

"Care to take a guess?"

* * *

His eyes narrowed into slits.

Sasuke was _not _one to back down from a dare, a challenge - _anything_. And he wasn't one to give up, either. But in this territory - the _female _territory... this wasn't one he'd like to step into. And this girl - the girl that got emotional with public bathrooms... she was playing games, teasing him.

He didn't like that.

What amused him, though, was the bloating of cheeks and the huffing she went into when he caught up to her effortlessly. His position was still the same - hood on, hands in pocket, eyes blocked by bangs, lazy stride, lazy pose - He tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at her.

Sasuke shrugged.

"Rina....?"

Bah. Sasuke hated these types of guessing games.

* * *

She couldn't believe him.

She...

SHE GAVE HIM A FUCKING HINT. Why didn't he _get_ it?

Okay, so maybe she hadn't pointed it out, but still! Did she _look_ like the type to fiddle with her hair in an attempt to _flirt_?

"Rina...?" Sakura echoed, trying not to slam her head into his to test how thick it was. Ino would call it the "Battle Between The Forehead and The Emo-Thickhead".

Yes, Ino was _special_.

"That's what I just said, wasn't it?" he hissed back, looking at her from under black bangs weighed down by a black hood.

"Where the _fu-_ freak did you get 'Rina'?!" Sakura shrieked, looking around, hoping that the little kids skating with their parents didn't hear her near-swear.

* * *

Sasuke sighed a low and long sigh. The kind that made you raise your shoulders and then slouch them down once the sigh was out.

"You said 'guess'. Well _guess_ what - I'm _guessing_." His tone was as indifferent as ever, lower, too.

"But _Rina_?!"

He rolled his eyes. This girl was as loud as the Dobe. It was beginning to give him a headache. He studied her - green eyes, pink hair, fair skin - no blemishes - nice bod--- Sasuke coughed and looked up front again, brow furrowing as he tried to think of some sort of name.

"Suki?"

Has he mentioned that he hated these kind of games? Because he did.

* * *

She gave a sigh while she tugged at her hair and gave him a significant look.

"Well, you're getting closer, at least..."

* * *

He raised a brow at that. So he was getting closer... Damn, but in which way....

"Your name starts with an S?"

At her slight nod, he began to think. _This _is why he was the smartest out of the four guys... Screw the Hyuuga and his big ass brain.

"Sayuri?"

* * *

She was going to tug all of her hair out at this rate.

For a second, she _thought_ he had figured it out.

But she was beginning to wonder if she was going to have to play charades with him...

"I've been giving you hints yet you _still_ don't get it! There's something that you can look at me and get my name from it."

At his blank look, she gave a frustrated sigh.

"When I was born, something about me made my... mother choose my name.

"Something really obvious that you'd have to be a complete _nitwit_ _moron_ to not get."

* * *

Sasuke stared at her for a good two minutes before he grew bored again and turned to the left - just in time to catch the Mutt and his blond-chick lady-friend.

"Pinky."

He heard her hiss.

"At least, that's what I would have named you."

He turned to look at her with a teasing smirk on his lips. And his amusement only grew as he watched her cheeks bloat again, her lips contort into a snarl, the tips of her ear looked a bit rosy, too. Oh, he loved teasing this girl - it was quite simple too. Though... her wit was kind of... how could he put this - her wit was up to par and their teasing could turn out to full out arguments.

"WHY YOU SONUVA--"

"I don't think it's wise to curse in front of little kids, Sakura," he drawled out lazily, his posture going more - if possible - laid back than before.

* * *

It took her a moment to catch her name as it came out of his mouth almost sinfully _sexy_, leaving her gasping like someone choking on an olive pit for a few seconds. But then she caught up with him again.

"Took you long enough," she muttered, sparing him a cursory glance.

He wasn't any less pretty than he had been the last time she saw him when-.

Yes, he wasn't any less pretty. She'd stick to that.

"So. Where do you go to school?"

"Konoha Uni," was his short reply as he skated, his lazy posture matching the lazy, _graceful_ strokes of his skates across the ice.

So it really _wasn't_ her fault that a question escaped her lips.

One that he heard. One that made his brows furl as if annoyed. His lips bared themselves in a growl.

"Are you _gay too_?"

Sakura wanted to slap herself in the face and die on the spot as he twisted to face her (WHAT IS HE, A FUCKING GRACEFUL GAZELLE?!) with a murderous look on his face.

* * *

Oh fucking hell. What the _fuck _has he done in past lives to have to endure this?!

_WHY _must _EVERYONE _assume he was _GAY_?!

Was it because he wasn't a man whore like Suigetsu? Because he wasn't suave like Kiba? Because he wasn't... like Naruto?

He liked females, in all seriousness (likeKonanandhersexiness). He checked girls out - he just didn't fucking tell every bloody person he knew. What's more, he checked this girl out the first time he met her! Does _that _make him gay? Hell. Fucking. No. It didn't.

"No," He spat out at her, "I'm not gay."

* * *

She gave him a sympathetic look.

"Of course you're not. I can get you one of those pamphlets though. Like the one Clary gives Simon to tell his parents his Little Problem- except Simon had to substitute 'gay' for 'vampire'. He's not sparkly though. Thank god. Edward Cullen can go sniff a tree. Anyways, I can get you one of those 'Coming Out Pamphlets' just in case you change your mind or realize that you really are-."

Sakura stopped talking.

* * *

Sasuke's eyes flashed.

He was angry now. And he was _so _going to prove to this girl that he was not fucking gay. She wanted to continue to pester him about his sexual orientation, so be it. He skated until he was rather close to her, his eyes ten times more piercing than they were on their default setting. There was a frown on his lips, and his hair shadowing those piercing eyes kind of made him....

"I'm not fucking gay," he repeated through gritted teeth. He dipped down so that his face was close to hers; how he continued to skate perfectly was beyond him. "Do you need to be convinced?"

Before she could say anything, he captured her lips with his and he kissed her; it wasn't a complete makeout, it wasn't a peck either. It was a soft kiss, his lips slowly moving against hers, his tongue coming out to tease her bottom lip.

And then he was gone.

* * *

Sakura didn't know what hurt more, her head or her ass.

So either he was a really good _straight_ kisser_ or_ he played on the other team and was still a really good kisser because he practiced on innocent girls who he convinced that he was straight despite all of his stereotypical gay tendencies.

She really didn't know because her legs went boneless after that _short_ kiss, causing her to land on her ass and head.

But she could still feel _sparks_ and the way her body had warmed up past the green sweater exposing her shoulders and black tank-top all the way past the white miniskirt Ino had thrust her into at the last moment...

She actually didn't know if she liked how he made her feel or not...

* * *

At this speed he was skating, his hood had fallen off his head and his hands were out of his pockets. His eyes were narrowed in defense of his whipping bangs; where the fuck was that Mutt?

And what the fuck has he done. In all seriousness - what did he _do_. That was possibly the most stupidest thing he has ever done in his life. He wanted out. He's leaving - getting the _fuck _out of there; he'll force either Sharkbait or the Dobe to come pick him up. Or, fuck, he'd ride the fucking bus.

The point was that he was leaving.

He caught a glimpse of Kiba and Sasuke picked up his speed until he was skating a little bit ahead of the couple.

"I'm leaving," he muttered.

"Wha-?" Kiba's grin was wiped off his face as he turned, with narrowed eyes, towards him.

"I'm fucking _leaving_. I'm going home."

* * *

Oh, buddy, not if _she could help it_. She'd bitch slap him sideways, kick him around like a hockey puck and then clean him up and send him on his way back to Sakura. Or she could just castrate him here and now and then be over and done with.

But he was too pretty.

Ino snarled from Kiba's other side. "FU-- Uh.. NO. You're NOT leaving. Because you know why? I have the power to fricken _bitch slap you_ and I _will _use it. Don't fricken make me use it. You are going to fricken skate and you're going to be fricken friendly so help me god I am going to knock you down sideways, upwards, downwards and backwards."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her. Scary girl she was.

Kiba only grinned and raised his brows. "The lady speaks, dude. Get goin'."

* * *

He watched them skate away together, hand in hand.

Sasuke snarled at their backs. He ran a hand through his wild hair and gave a deep sigh; he pulled his hood back on, yanked it lower than before and continued to skate.

Stupid Mutt. Stupid Blond-Chick Lady-Friend.

_Now _what was he supposed to _do_?

* * *

_Now _what was she supposed to _do_?

Sakura glimpsed around the rink and saw nothing that interested her. Everything reminded her of Sai.

This stupid date.

The Potential-Rapist's looks.

But at the same time, he was nothing like Sai. Sai didn't make her inside's feel like she had swallowed all of the butterflies in the world. Sai didn't _kiss_ her. Sai held hands, but it was the type of loose holding-hands that made her feel completely disconnected her. It hadn't felt like trust.

All of this mental _confusion_ made his betrayal hurt more.

So she slinked to the edge of the rink and gazed unseeingly into the bleachers and wondering what went wrong- what had turned a straight ruler into a pile of splinters.

* * *

With another sigh - he seems to be doing that a lot today - he exited the rink and made his way to the bleachers on the left side of the damn place. He took a seat, leaning his back on the bleacher on top of the one he was sitting on. His hands were, once again, in his pouch-pocket-thing, hood still on and covering his eyes - along with his bangs - and ponders if he should change back into his shoes. These skates were ugly to look at.

He looked up, scanning the mob of people on the rink through the clear-see-through panel-things. And then his eyes caught pink wayyyyy on the other side of the stupid rink. On the other side of the bleachers, actually.

Through hidden eyes, he kept his eyes glued on her.

* * *

Carefully, Sakura eased herself on to the rail and sat there. Her legs dangled, the weight of the heavy blade pulling her feet down.

Love's like a supernova, she thought as she looked up at the roof, where the stars could be seen twinkling in a sea of dark blue sky. It's great for a while and it gave her this feeling that there was no wrong and there were bright lights. Even the explosion was beautiful- a whirlwind of colors and emotions that swept her away from that addicting feeling until she was left in the harsh cold of deep space.

Yet again she was tempting fate.

So she put her hands together and sent a silent prayer on a shooting star.

_I wish to find a love that doesn't hurt; that doesn't make me cry or make me wish that I had never met them._

_

* * *

_Sasuke raised an eyebrow as he watched her look up at the sky and press her palms together. He broke his gaze away from her and raised it up to the sky for a second, watching the twinkles of the sky and then darting them back down to her form.

She was wishing on that shooting star.

Tch.

But nonetheless did he continue to study her.

* * *

Ignoring eyes fixated on her, she took a lot of care to not slip on her dismount. The world swayed for a bit, but Sakura flailed with her arms until she was safely upright.

She gave a smile as she skated the long way across the rink to the exit so she could pass Ino and her new boy toy.

"If you don't leave now," Sakura informed casually as she passed them, "I'm going to walk home and Ino will have to go home."

Ino gave her a horrified look. "But if Kiba drops me off at my home, my dad will _know_ that, instead of painting our nails and having Girl Time, that I went on a date and he will _interrogate_ me and _read my mind!_"

Sakura gave her a sharp smile. "Then let's get going, shall we? We've already been here for an hour and I'm _freezing_."

* * *

Shisui grinned at Itachi. They were still skating -Sasuke and his friends had already run off-, breath coming out in puff os steam in the cold air. "You can _not_ say that wasn't successful! He _kissed_ her, Ita, he _kissed_ her! You can _not_ say that he's gay anymore! SO THERE!"

Itachi _almost_ groaned in relief.

Shisui let Itachi think this over. Clearly, there was nothing to worry about - Itachi was overreacting, like always. Just like - always. She shook her head to herself. There was nothing for it. He was such an idiot.

"Can we get some coffee, now? I'm cold," she told him.

* * *

She was giving him those big eyes that she always put on when she wanted to convince him of something. It was silly since Shisui knew very well that he wouldn't miss a chance for caffeine.

However, today, he was in a mood for something else...

"What about we stop by the grocery store and pick up stuff? I want some tea..."

Shisui smacked her forehead with a groan. "What's with you and your Arizona? I want some Starbuckssssssss," she whined with a pout.

Itachi did his best to ignore said pout because she looked oh so fuc-.

She looked oh so persuasive.

Yes. Persuasive.

"Because." The next thing Shisui knew, she was being tugged over to Itachi's black Camry and rushed to the closest 7/11.

Well, she supposed that their runs to the 7/11 were always fun...

* * *

Shisui wrinkled her nose in distaste at the French Vanilla coffee in her hand. Ewh, really. 7/11 coffee would just _not_ compete with Starbucks coffee. That said, Starbucks coffe didn't stand a chance when held up to Second Cup coffee or The Magic Bean coffee, but, given that it was all that was on hand right now, she'd take it.

She took a single sip, made a face, and got rid of it. She just couldn't _drink_ that crap - it was so gross it ought to be illegal. She tossed it down the drain, and ignored the look Itachi sent her way.

She was continually, dutifully ignoring the odd looks Itachi had been sending her way. Okay, so maybe she'd been flirting _juuuuuust_ a little bit with the guy who had been skating with his niece, but, seriously, it wasn't like she'd had a choice! The poor little girl had fallen over, and Shisui's first instinct was to rush over and help her up.

And when she finally got there, it had _not_ been her fault that he had rushed over, too. It was _also_ not her fault that he'd been pretty.

WAS SHE NOT ALLOWED TO FLIRT, NOW, OR SOMETHING, HMM?

"Ita, we really need to do a grocery run, my mother was whining about there not being any food in the house yesterday," Shisui told him boredly. Yes, she understood his need for Arizona, but, seriously - when a house got _that_ empty of food, something _had_ to be done.

He ignored her silently, and Shisui just rolled her eyes.

Her phone vibrated.

**From: Tema-chan  
To: Shi-chan  
I am eating candy for supper at work again. Take that, lawyers and doctors. I don't need no fancy car to be happy.**

Shiusi stared at the screen, and tried very, very hard not to snort in laughter. Her friends were just so freakin' _weird_ sometimes.

**From: Shi-chan  
To: Tema-chan  
You make my day, did you know that?**

Shisui sent the text off -Itachi was still deciding how many Arizona he ought to buy, given that Sasuke and Naruto would invariably steal most of them-, and waited for the one that Temari would send in return.

**From: Tema-chan  
To: Shi-chan  
Pssh, yeah. It's because I'm pretty. Ah shit, Kisame's yelling at me. LOVE AND KISSES, BETCH.**

Shisui giggled. "Hey, Ita-chi, can we _go_ already? I know you're having a love affair with the Arizona, but, like, seriously? Just buy two cases! You being indecisive is weird, and kind of creepy, just so you know. And the coffee here is gross. I wanna go _home_."

* * *

Itachi twisted the keys, making the car hum into life. Pulling out of the 7/11's parking lot, he directed it down the street, taking a left onto University Drive.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shisui pull her knees into her chest before leaning her forehead on the fogged up window and closing her eyes. Quietly, she fell asleep. He tried to ignore (again) how innocent and pretty she looked.

Status of attempt no. 234098: _failed_.

Side Two of his mental party (the one that seemed to be convinced that he was in lo- _obsessed_ with his cousin) rolled his eyes. _You fuckin' have feelings for her, you dipshit. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, you know_.

Side One stuffed Side Two back into his canvas bag. _Don't listen to him. You are so on the money_.

Itachi returned his attention to the road and turned, driving close to the curb. Parking in front of the small building, he turned the car off and shook Shisui softly awake. "We're here."

"Mmm, whaaaaa?" She blinked a lot to clear the sleep out of her eyes.

"We're here."

"This isn't the grocery store," Shisui mumbled before the building in front of her cleared up.

"I know that." His tone was kind of affronted. Of course he knew that this wasn't the grocery store.

Then her eyes widened.

"This is _better_."

And with that, Shisui dashed for the door, leaving Itachi alone in the dark.

* * *

Shisui grinned as she stepped into the Magic Bean. Dear god, this place had the best coffee in the history of the universe. And Yuugao was working! This was _great_, as it clearly meant a discount. Having friends who worked as baristas was _obviously_ the best thing ever.

Shisui bounced over to her friend. "Yuu-chan!"

Yuugao's purple head shot up, and she shot Shisui a grin. "Hey, you weirdo! I haven't seen you around, recently! What'cha want?"

"Hmmm, something deeply caffeinated, and sugary, and _yummy_, with caramel and lots of whipped cream!" Shisui told her with a clap of her hands and a childish smile.

Yuugao just smirked, and nodded. "Caramel latte, then, extra caramel sauce, extra whipped cream, three shots of espresso? So just the normal?"

"Yes, love."

As Yuugao went about making Shisui's favourite drink in the world, the bell on the door jingled, and Itachi walked. Yuugao waved at him, and yelled over the hiss of the espresso maker "Hey, loser! Finish that paper for Sarutobi?"

Itachi nodded.

Shisui stared at them both in utter disbelief. Itachi was _actually_ acknowledging someone? Was the world _ending_?

The swirl of jealousy that hit her in the stomach in the next few seconds was _not_ plesant.

* * *

Yuugao continued to chatter about how lengthy the paper that was due in the next class was. "But it wasn't _boring_ and _pointless_ though, you know? Sarutobi actually had us think about what we learned and apply it to how law is practiced."

"Aa."

Itachi sipped his Arizona. Before coming inside, he had snagged one of the bottles he had purchased at the 7/11. He needed to come up with a strategy against his foolish little brother and his idiotic blonde cohort. They seemed to think he'd let them get away with raiding his personal fridge. Perhaps he should keep it in the dorm room he stayed in on occasion with Kisame...?

Satisfied with this idea, he tuned back into what his classmate was saying. "... just think that he should give us more time to do these papers. I mean, five thousand words overnight? We _do_ have other classes we're supposed to keep up with and he knows it. I've had to sneak a few minutes on mine while I was working."

"Hn."

Shisui looked disgruntled about something, Itachi noticed. Her eyes were downcast as she hunched herself over the coffee she was nursing. The whipped cream was melting, the caramel weighting it down into the hot coffee.

"Is your coffee okay?" he couldn't help but ask, making her back straighten and a smile force itself onto her face with none of her normally genuinely cheery demeanor.

* * *

Shisui nodded slowly - yes, everything was fine. Great. Just _wonderful_. Just _peachy_. Ridiculously _fine_, in fact.

_Yeah, honey, that's called DeNial. It's not good to lie to yourself_, muttered that traitorous part of her that sounded like Hana. It was that part that was disgusted with the fact that she was too much of a coward to actually face Itachi head-on about this... _thing_ that they had.

But _apparently_, accoding to _Itachi_, they had _absolutely nothing_ going on. Shisui finished slurping up the suddenly-too-sweet caramel coffee, and stood quietly. "I'm... just - I'll walk home. See you, Yuu-chan. I'll call you sometime, okay?"

Shisui nodded stifly, and headed for the door, her clenched fists tucked into her jacket pockets.

She really did hate him, sometimes.

* * *

Throwing some money on the counter, he turned to follow Shisui. Itachi gave Yuugao a nod as he told her to keep the change.

He got into the car and drove down the block. Track star, Shisui may be, but when she was walking, it was easy to Itachi to catch up to her; especially since he was driving.

"Shisui. Get in the car. It's cold outside and Aunt will be severely upset if you catch a cold."

"So you only care about what my mother would think?" Her voice was slightly mocking with a tinge of something else. It just wasn't _right_ and it disoriented him beyond belief_._ Shisui was always the careful, cheerful, teasing one. Negativity suited her like winter suited Florida. He slowly got out of the car, and left the door open behind him, leaking heat out into the cold evening air.

"Shisui, now you're only picking a fight. Come on, I'll take you home. Anyway, rides are always so boring and quiet without you." It was the truth. Not something he'd admit under most conditions, but his cousin's eyes looked suspiciously wet.

"I bought some chocolate at the 7/11...?" he gestured towards the passenger seat, where, indeed, sat a few boxes of CaraMilk.

* * *

Shisui gave him her nastiest stare (given, Shisui didn't often do nasty, so this was rather a feat). "I want to walk. Leave me alone, please."

He was _so_ not going to sway her with chocolate. That just was Not Cool, and was totally cheating. Shisui didn't _want_ to get in the car. She didn't _want_ to deal with him right now. She just wanted to walk, and sort out the emotions that were rolling in her stomach. She knew jealousy - knew it bone-deep. But this was more or less new; the proporitions seemed wrong. She thought she had quashed any jealousy she had in her body when it came to Itachi.

But apprently not.

"Shisui. Get in," he told her quietly as he exited the car and opened the door for her.

Her eyes turned to slits. Shisui did _not_ like that tone of voice. "_No_, Itachi, I want to _walk_ home, I already told you that. It's not even dark out. I'll be fine."

* * *

He knew that look.

It was the one she gave when she was absolutely certain that she wasn't going to do anything. Shisui at her most stubborn was rare, but when it came around, it was best to get out of her way.

Then again, that's what sane people did and when had anyone ever accused Itachi Uchiha of being sane?

...

Exactly.

So he pursed his lips and asked one question that he knew would throw her off balance. It wasn't an Itachi Thing To Say, but desperate times call for desperate measures and this was definitely desperate. Under her gray form-fitting jacket with a white knit sweater underneath and dark-wash skinnies, he could tell she was shivering even though she stiffened up so it was a little less obvious.

"So what's got your panties in a twist?"

* * *

_**Smack**_.

The sound of palm against flesh echoed around them. Shisui's voice was very, very quiet. "Thank you for showing me what kind of person you are, Itachi Uchiha. I'll call Konan to come and pick me up. Or something. You don't need to bother yourself with me."

* * *

His cheek started turning red, but Itachi made himself ignore the pain. It was nothing compared to the scratches he got the first and only time he tried to keep Deidara from killing Tobi.

Anger started bubbling under his skin, something that he had never really felt before. Deep breaths weren't helping- they only served to remind him that she smelled like caramel and silk and pears from the shampoo she stole out of his mother's cabinet of toiletries. It was warm and familiar and it wasn't helping that all of the beautiful smells were tainted with the bitter scent of anger.

Shisui was the only one could get to him like this. Everything she made him feel was a million times more potent than his normal apathy.

He couldn't help baring his teeth at her as he growled from somewhere in his chest. "I'm trying to help you and you're giving me hell. Just because I mentioned _your mother_ getting angry at me doesn't mean that I don't care. But if Aunt believes I'm not taking care of you, she's never going to let us hang out. So please consider that just because I don't say something doesn't me I don't mean it. I thought you would have known that I cared, so I didn't bother mentioning it.

"So please...

"Just get in the car."

Itachi turned away, gritting his teeth as he got back into the car.

* * *

Shisui tensed, readying hersef for a fight. She hadn't really meant to smack him - but then, Shisui never had the emotional control that seemed to come with being an Uchiha. And smacking him across the face.

But as she watched Itachi's face flood with emotion -that was a new thing-, she felt all the fight drain out of her. Fighting with him wasn't even worth it. It would just hurt more in the long run.

Shisui sighed tiredly, and tucked an unruly curl behind her ear as she slipped into the back of the car. She didn't want to sit next to him. She didn't even want to be getting into that _goddamn_ car right then, but she just didn't have a choice. Konan was probably curled up in Pein's sheets right at that particular second, anyways.

"Just take me home, Uchiha," she whispered.

**From: Shi-chan  
To: Tema-chan, Blue-ei, Hana  
I'm done. I'm done. I'm done with Itachi Uchiha. I'm cutting him out of my life. It hurts too much. kpce.**

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

"C'mon, Hyuuga! Work them legs!"

Tenten was super excited, she was practically skipping instead of walking. This could possibly be the best day of her life; she wasn't going to be alone anymore. She wasn't. That amazed her and made her feel all bubbly inside - something that Tenten _never _felt.

But this damn Hyuuga was killing her mood.

She turned around and placed her hands on her hips - one hand still holding his keys. "Would ya hurry up!"

"Nope."

She glared vehemently at him and stuffed his keys in her bra and stomped his way until she was behind him. It brought her utter joy at how stiff he went at her proximity; poor thing was scarred coz she kissed him. She'd be doing her Kakashi-reads-intense-porn-face right about now, but there were bigger matters to attend to!

Tenten placed her hands, palms flat on his back, and pushed him all the way until they got to the right courtroom.

"Be ready to witness _magic_," she whispered huskily in his ear.

* * *

Neji didn't really like magic.

At least, in the way that Tenten seemed to mean it. The magic she was suggesting was dark and would most likely be Dark Magic to help take over the world.

The source of the magic came from Anko (He refused on principle to add the 'sama').

...

If the world ended, he would blame the whole mess on Tenten's thirst for burgers.

* * *

She snickered, a gleam in her eyes as she stopped pushing him but rather linked the crook of their elbows together. "Relax, dude. Ugh, you're uptightness bugs me. I swear. By the end of this project, I'm going to have you _loose."_

"I rather not."

"But I do."

"So?"

Tenten sighed, "Hyuuga. Seriously. You're cramping up my style, you're twisting my thong in a bunch. Can you stop being such a prick?"

* * *

He couldn't stifle a twitch as she mentioned her underwear as casually as she might mention the weather. Maybe weather was a bad comparison as she never looked up, preferring to examine the tiles below her in fascination. Tenten jumped and looked delighted at the echo that went down.

Which is why she yelled, "NEJI HYUUGA HAS A CHASTITY RING." It reverberated in the hall and many people stuck their heads out of their office doors to see who was shouting such a thing.

Growling under his breath, Neji did the one thing he calculated that would most likely end all of her teasing over his phobia of women.

He slung his arm around her waist and started dragging her away.

* * *

She clenched her jaw, her cheeks going just the slightest bit pink - but that was only because he caught her off guard. She blinked and stared at his arm around her waist and then she smirked up at him.

"Where ya takin' me? A janitor's closet?" And then she laughed. "Oi, let go of me Hyuuga before I do some things to you that involve... well.... that involve stuff."

Neji didn't let her go.

Tenten pouted and twisted around in his arms so she was in front of him - how she managed to have him dragging her with her in front of him was beyond her. "Last chance, lemme go."

But he didn't and that ignited fire within her.

So she stretched her neck up and planted another kiss on him, only this time...

...She bit his lip.

* * *

Instinctively, Neji jerked away...

... and loosened his grip on Tenten.

He started cursing in his mind until he realized that she had merely wanted to lead him...

...

To a room with a crazy megalomaniac who had an obsession with being called -_sama_ that was grinning in his general direction.

Great.

The apocalypse could start ahead of schedule _now_.

* * *

Anko was _very_ drunk.

That was definitely not the problem. She was very, very drunk. And was, apparently, adopting a seventeen year old girl. The adoption wasn't a problem - Anko vaguely remembered the girl having potential. So that was certainly not the issue here, either.

The problem lay in the bottle of peppermint schnapps that Kakashi was _insisting_ on not returning to her. Bastard.

She _wanted_ that damn bottle of schnapps. Because it was beautiful. And good. And wonderful. And several _other_ adjectives-that-were-synonymous-with-good that she couldn't remember right now.

And _it was peppermint_. Did she _really_ have to say anything else?!

But Kakashi -being the downer her just _had_ to be- was refusing to give it back to her. NOT COOL. DEFINITELY NOT COOL.

Anko sent a glare at him - it was probably hazy, because she wasn't seeing very straight, but that _really_ didn't matter. She had just brought him along to remind him that she owned his soul - oh, and because she had needed a witness for something... that she just... couldn't... rememeber...

"The adoption, maybe?" Kakashi's voice muttered in her ear.

Anko realized, drunkenly, belatedly, only then, that she'd said that whole little mental speech aloud.

That should have embarrassed her.

But it really didn't.

She sent him a brilliant predator's smile. She told him, in a very matter-of-fact voice "We're going to a _bar_ after this! You _promised_!"

* * *

Kakashi wondered when he had promised that.

Oh yeah.

When he was Under The Influence.

And not of Anko.

Well, kind of...

Really, she had been the one forcing his mouth open and pouring burning alcohol down his throat.

"No. It doesn't even count as a promise because you made me drink until I was drunk and loose-tongued. Anko, I was ready to swear that the Tooth Fairy was my alter-ego. _That's_ how drunk you got me. Ergo, that 'promise' wouldn't be worth a fuck in a court of law."

* * *

Anko gave him a very drunken glare. Despite the apparent inebriation, her aim was very good, and she pinned him with a death-stare. _"You_," she said, "are taking me to a bar, if you want _to live. Do you understand_?"

She paused, and tapped his nose. "And watch your language, we're gonna be in the presence of minors. Stupid."

Kakashi groaned, and Anko giggled into his shirt. Hee-hee, he was _so _pretty. It was really too bad he kept that mask on all the time. Hm, he should take it off more...

For the next several minutes, Anko (and all of Anko's five-foot-two frame) vainly tried to get Kakashi's mask off. This failed miserably - he was so much taller then she was, and she stared blearily, grumpily, _drunkenly_, at him. "You suck," she told him very seriously.

He snorted, and dragged her away from the person who would be giving parental rights to this woman. What sort of _world_ were they living in? Where a little _demon_ like Anko could be a _mother_ to a girl who _clearly_ needed guidance? "And you're drunk."

"On'y a 'lil bit. And I can sign my name perfe'tly fine. See?" To demonstrate this, she grabbed his arm, and proceeded to try to scribble her name all over his flesh in permanant marker - he didn't even want to know where she'd been hiding that Sharpie. Kakashi just rolled her eyes, wrenched his arm out of her grip, and stared down at her, deadpan.

She stared up at him, once again, very seriously, and said "Now you're mine. And you're taking me to a bar."

* * *

Using his right hand to reassure himself that his mask was still on his face, Kakashi gave a sigh. How troublesome. Considering she was already on her way to drinking herself into a state of unconsciousness, he truly didn't think that it was the best idea for her to drink more.

Nonetheless, he forced a smile on his face, his eyes crinkling.

"You know, Anko-chan, it's probably not the best thing for you to have more to drink. Even if you can sign your name now, you can't sign it if you've drunk yourself into a coma. And what would you do about poor Ten-chan. She's going to be _so_ disappointed."

Hoping that would distract her, Kakashi tried to slip away.

* * *

Anko clamped onto his arm. "Where'd you _think _you're going, huh? The weirdo over_ there,_" Anko indicated the court judge -the poor man just sighed, and eyeballed the crazy, purple-haired _bat_ sitting in the courtroom- "he told me I need a wit'ess. So I got _you_! 'Coz you're r'ght, Ten-chan d'serves better. So _hush_."

Anko was sleepy. Hm. Peppermint schnapps as a drink was _naaaaaah-ce_. It made her all tingly and warm inside, and _oh_, it was _really_ too bad they only pulled this stuff out around Christmas time, because _damn_ if Anko wasn't addicted to it.

It was just so gooooooood.

The door opened, and a blast of cold wind shot through Anko. She pouted to herself - she didn't really like the cold, drunk _or_ sober.

But a voice carried through the courtroom, and Anko's head shot up. "Hey, is anyone here? Hi, I'm getting adopted! Yes, you stupid- LOOK, SHE'S RIGHT THERE!"

Anko waved merrily at the brunette girl who was, apparently, violently trying to shake off the court person who was trying to restrain her - and failing. Tenten came bounding over, and Anko, in all her drunken glory, threw her arms around the younger female.

"Let's get you adopted, get out of here, and _get drunk_," Anko said decisively.

* * *

The woman hugging her very close to her chest was wasted - drunk as fuck. It made Tenten want to laugh, actually; she hugged the woman back, almost snickering when the woman's breast pressed up against her face.

She turned towards Neji who was standing awkwardly in back of them, looking at the courtroom as if it were a secret lair for terrorists.

"Neji's my witness!"

"What," he all but screamed out.

Tenten nodded, grinned, pulled away from the drunk-woman and snatched Neji's hand into hers. "Right, let's get this adoption thing going!" She dragged him along with her to the front. "Because I am SO down to getting drunk off my ass," she murmured to herself.

Neji still heard and snorted.

"Shh - Hyuuga don't burst my bubble because I will make you pay." And then something that caused Neji to do a double take happened. Tenten's sneer softened, her glare softened and her face looked angelic for once. "I'm getting adopted... I'm going to have someone now. So don't kill it for me with your... not-niceness."

And then it was gone with her next sentence.

"AND I'M GONNA GET DRUNK."

* * *

Anko chuckled evilly into Kakashi's collar as the annoying little judge man went through with the adoption proceedings. He kept shooting her and the girl she was adopting (Ten-chan? Yes. Ten-chan) looks of absolute terror. Whaaat, did they really think that there was going to be, like, _explosions_ or something?

Hell no!

That wasn't until _after_ the vodka. And the tequila.

_That_ was when the explosions started (other things started, too, but explosions were certain one of them).

"'Kashi~i," Anko half sing-songed. Her voice was low, next to his ear. "Can we _go_, now? Ten-chan is _mine_, and _you're_ _mine_, and Hyuuga... is Ten-chan's..." She ended on another low-pitched chuckle, and tugged on his arm. "I want some _schnapps_, already! M' bottle's... empty... which kind of... sucks..."

She felt Kakashi shake his head, and Anko could only grumble. THIS WAS TAKING. TOO. LONG.

* * *

This old fart-knocker was taking his sweet, sweet time with all his babbling and whatnots. God, could his mouth move any slower? He should most definitely retire if he's to old to even talk, in all seriousness. All she fricken wanted was to get adopted, make it official and head out to the _bar_.

Tenten leaned her forehead on the desk, "Mannnnn... I'll be old and wrinkly by the time this old geezer's done with his speech or whatever that is totally _unnecessary_."

"Shhh."

She pouted, "You 'shhh'. Shh-ing me and stuff. Bleh." Tenten stuck her tongue out at Neji before going back to sulking.

Next thing Tenten knew, she was in a dream in which she was chasing a monkey, that looked suspiciously like Neji, with a mallet and the sky was green and the grass was purple and the sun was a bigbigbig orange that wore sunglasses and said "OH YEAH" when it was morning. What a nice dream that was; especially when Monkey Neji was caught and she did some mean things to him because he didn't want to give her a banana.

"Tenten..."

And now she was being disturbed.

She mumbled to the person to go away. But now she was being shoved and it caused her to snap her eyes open and sit up. "Wha?!"

Neji was staring at her, silver-white eyes blank and apathetic. "You're being called out to go sign."

"Did _you_ sign, oh lovable witness of mine?" Her eyes narrowed in on him and he snorted.

"Shut up, I had no other choice - now go sign."

Tenten mimicked him and stood and walked up to the court-person-whose-name-was-not-important-to-her. She signed her name, no cursive because she sucked at it, but in her chicken scratch that she was damn right proud of. She grinned at the court-person and handed the pen back before skipping back to her seat.

After that, Tenten was damn straight alert and damn straight excited because... like, seriously, she had a mom now.

* * *

Anko stared around the courtroom imperiously, as only a drunk could. "Can we _go_ now? We signed all those boring documents. I need a fake ID for Ten-chan, and uh, 'Kashi, _you're mine_, too, and... Uh... huh... HYUUGA," Anko bellowed across the court room, "TAKE CARE OF TEN-CHAN IF YOU WANT TO LIVE. SHE'S PRECIOUS NOW. GOOD BOY."

The look he shot her was one of pure disgust, and Anko chuckled, and entirely ignored him. It was by far the way to go.

"Hmm, 'Kashi, where can I get a fake ID, hm?"

Kakashi could only stare down at her. He was half-tempted to pick her up, and get her home - let her sleep the alcohol off. But Tenten was absolutely _thrilled_, and that really couldn't be a good thing. Anko clutched at his hand. "'Kashi, Ten-chan and I need to get to a _bar_. There is much I have to teach her, and _not enough time_!"

Anko stared up at him -_damnherheight_-, and was _determined_ to get her way. "Ten-chan, c'mon. Let's get you some alcohol. Peppermint schnapps. _Yes-s_."

* * *

As she led Neji towards the cars, Tenten couldn't help but giggle like a complete little girl. "Peppermint schnapps, some whiskey - ooh, and margaritas. Dude, this is going to be super awesome!" She turned her grin to the quiet, apathetic -though, Tenten knew, he was seething inside- male next to her and placed a hand on his arm. "And _you_ have to take care of me, coz my new mom said so. And if you don't, you're as good as dead."

"I'm taking you _home_."

She let a mock gasp escape passed her lips, "Neji! You can't do _that_! That violates your chastity ring's worth! Bad, Hyuuga, bad, bad!"

"Shut up, you _know _what I meant."

"And if you dare do something like that, I might just have to show you how angry I can get." She dropped her hand back to her side and began to skip ahead of him, twirling around like the lethal ballerina she was and faced him with a gleam in her brown doe-like eyes. "And 'sides," she stuck her hand into her shirt -inwardly cackling at Neji's eyes growing wide and a faint rosy tint coming to his cheeks- and took something out of her bra. She jangled them in the air, "I have your keys, 'member?"

Neji's eyes narrowed, "Hand those over. Now."

Tenten tilted her head to the side in a cutesy manner, blunt-cut bangs covering some of her vision, "Are you sure? They were touching my skin, you know. Like, my boobs? They might be infested with cooties."

And that rosy tint came back to his cheek. "Oh, God. Why must I put up with you...?"

"'Coz you need a gradeeeee."

He grunted.

She waved at Anko and Kakashi, the latter trying to get the former into his car. She turned to Neji and smirked, "Now come along, Hyuuga! Let's get to the bar and give you some tequila so you can, like, strip tease for us like you did last time!"

* * *

Anko only heard the last part of that statement. Hyuuga couldn't hold his tequila, then? Ooooooh, she was _definitely_ going to store that bit of information away for later - Anko could already feel the alcohol filtering through her liver, and leaving her more-or-less sober (ha, she was the type to never got hangovers... never had, and never would). How boring.

"Kakashi..." Anko murmured in her softest, huskiest voice. She felt him gulp, and smiled viciously. "We need to set them up. Pretty please?"

"You're still drunk, Anko. You won't remember this later," he told her, just as quietly, and Anko felt a thrill go through her. So _that_ was the way he wanted to play, hm?

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I will _too_ remember it! Ten-chan likes torturing him, and Hyuuga needs to pull that stick out of his ass. Ac-tually, he's a lot like how _you_ used to be... Kakashi, _please_?"

Kakashi just sighed, and went back to trying to stuff her into the car. Anko didn't like that very much. Anko Mitarashi had never taken well to being man-handled - _she_ was the one who did the man-handling. "Kakashi, take me to a bar. We're going to set Ten-chan and Hyuuga up, because Ten-chan needs someone to keep her out of trouble."

He looked at her disbelievingly. "Are you actually _worried_ about _someone else_?"

Anko glared up at him, her eyes slitting. "She's my kid now, right? I hav'ta be. And Hyuuga can bail her out of jail. He's done it before, he'll prob'bly end up doing it again!"

* * *

Linkin Park was blasting through the speakers. Tenten was almost glad she wasn't driving (stupid Hyuuga catching her off guard. Stupid Hyuuga for pinning her against the car. Stupid pretty eyes. STUPID.) because she usually goes crazy with Linkin Park; she gets fueled with adrenaline... Well, more than she usually is.

Tenten headbanged as she pretended to play the guitar in sync with the rhythm of Bleed It Out.

"Would you stop that," Neji said, eyes darting towards her before returning to the road, "you're going to break your neck or something."

"MAMA HELP ME, I'VE BEEN CURSED. DEATH IS ROLLING IN EVERY VERSE -- but I like this songggg!" She pouted for a minute before going back to headbanging and playing the air guitar. "TRUTH JUST HURTS, I WON'T LIE, DOESN'T MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. HALF THE WORDS DON'T MEAN A THING AND I KNOW THAT I WON'T BE SATISFIED."

Neji stopped trying to tame the wild ball of energy that was sitting next to him. Tenten was not one to take orders, and if she did, she was able to use them against you. So why even bother? He didn't really have the energy - not right now, at least.

The rest of the car ride was quiet, miraculously, with Tenten just humming lyrics and tapping her fingers to her thigh, and Neji... Just being Neji: quiet. Tenten couldn't help but grin when she saw the bar - she knew he would bring her, not because he wanted a drink too... but because... Well, just because.

Once he parked, Tenten jumped out of the car, her wavy ponytail flying behind her. She stopped, though, the door to the passenger's side still open; she began to unbutton her flannel button up shirt.

"What are you doing," Neji asked, horrified.

"Shh." Under the shirt a black, almost skin-tight, t-shirt came into view. She dropped the discarded button up shirt and closed the door; her hands pulling her black shirt down once it made the skin of her waist visible. "Now it's time to drink!"

"You don't have--"

"Shh, you really think I leave my house without this baby?" She dug into her skinnies' pockets and took out an ID.

Neji was left speechless.

"TO THE BAR," Tenten pointed a finger in the air and began to drag him to, what Neji knew, would be a_ bad_ night.

---

Said bad night would end in a _very_ drunk Tenten nearly raping a scarred Neji, and an _equally_ drunk Anko tying Kakashi to a chair and having her way with him. The younger man would never quite be able to look at his brunette email partner the same way again, and the older man discovered that Anko, when drunk, was far kinkier then normal.

This was saying something, and Kakashi was never going to regret letting Anko have alcohol again.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

"SAKURA. DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE MY QUESTIONING."

Ino stomped into the room, already in a pair of black booty-shorts and a purple cami, hair down in a single braid. Her blue eyes were mildly glaring at the pink haired girl that was marching in front of her, completely ignoring her friend.

"Sakuraaaaaa," Ino pouted and took a seat on her bed. "Tell Ino how the jerk-who'll-be-the-next-axe-model is!"

* * *

"I like this color scheme," Sakura said instead, ignoring Ino's question.

The walls were a cream that made the light green accents *pop*. Her comforter and pillows were a dark green with (again) cream sheets.

"Bah, I like _my _color scheme better," Ino grumbled.

Ino's room was not pink.

It wasn't yellow, either. And, goodness, it was not white. It was purple. And green. And blue and red and, because her daddy loved her unconditionally, it was turquoise as well. Each wall was a different color, the ceiling another. The two large rugs were, lime-green and fuchsia respectively; her covers an electric-blue. All in all, Ino's room was not pink.

It was colorful.

Because Ino loved colors.

But Sakura was just trying to ignore the question Ino posed her. It was kind of dipping into the Proving-Himself-Both-Not-Gay-And-A-Good-Kisser Incident that she did not want to remember (Inner Sakura hit her on the head for lying to herself). Okay, so the kiss was hot and he was pretty and-

"WHAT. PRETTY. BOY. _KISSED_. _YOU?! _To _prove he wasn't gay_?"

...

She had started talking to herself out loud again, didn't she...

God.

Ino could be such an annoyingly _loud_ person.

"So what's with you and Dog Boy?"

Sakura smirked to herself, victoriously.

Now what would Ino have to say?

* * *

That made her freeze. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. She was not going to fall for that bait!

"Stop changing the subjects and tell Ino what pretty boy kissed you! And to prove he wasn't gay! Was it a hot kiss? Was he good? Was it... TELL ME SAKURA-FOREHEAD-HARUNO!"

Sakura crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Not till you tell me what's with you and Dog Boy."

Whyyyyy must she be so difficult! Ino huffed and criss-crossed her legs.

"Tell Ino first!"

"Maybe if Ino stopped freaking me out by talking in third-person..."

"Okay! Tell me first!"

"No."

"YOU SAID YOU WOULD!"

Sakura ignored her.

Ino promptly began to throw a fit.

* * *

Sakura couldn't help but smirk like The Prick when Ino huffed and threw a tantrum.

She stopped smirking when Ino threw BunBun at the wall.

"YOU BITCH."

Stomping over to Ino, Sakura smacked her upside the head. "Do you have any idea how much Tenten will kill-slash-dismember both of us if that bunny gets hurt? Remember what happened when that one kid stepped on her snow cone at the amusement park? She was _five,_ it was a _snow cone_, and it was a total _accident_. Imagine what she'd do to us if BunBun got hurt."

Ino shuddered before focusing on Sakura again.

"Anyways... This Sasu-cakes guy... How does he kiss?"

"INO-PIG. I'm not saying _anything_ until you tell me what's with you and the Mutt."

* * *

"WHY DO I HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING?! I ASKED FIRST!"

Ino sighed deeply and sprawled herself on Sakura's bed. She thought for a minute; maybe she should get Tenten and unleash her on Sakura so that damn girl can fricken speak and tell her what she wanted to know. But then again... Tenten might go off and hunt Sasu-cakes down and stuff. And Ino couldn't have that because he was _pretty_ and someone pretty did not deserve Tenten's wrath.

But then again, she could just say what she and Kiba had and then get what she wanted.

But that was the thing - she didn't really _know _what was going on between her and Kiba. Like, she did know what _she _felt, but what did _he _feel?

"Fine," she breathed out. "I like him. A lot. Like, _a lot _a lot."

Sakura raised an eyebrow, "Hmm?"

Ino blushed and huffed, "It's..." She grabbed one of Sakura's pillows and squeezed it in between her arms and her tummy. "He's just so... Oh so very charming. And nice. And... he _listens _to me when I'm talking and... and he.. gah! JUST TELL ME FOREHEAD!"

* * *

Sakura gave an innocent look.

"He _really_ doesn't like guessing games... Sasuke's cold..."

Ino flailed. "BUT IS HE A GOOD KISSER OR NOT?!"

She pursed her lips for a few minutes and nodded, her face blushing at the memory.

"Yeah... He's really good at kissing... "

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa**: ...i think i like writing Drunk!Anko too much... like, almost as much as i love red lipstick! LIKE, HOMAIGOD.  
**les**: oh god. i love tenten so much. i never get tired of saying it.  
**sonya**: ... shi-chan's kinda me in a nutshell. except i'm not in love with my cousin. my cousins are gross (no offense to them). i like tall, pretty guys with eyes i can get lost in who can play guitar or some instrument. (ITACHIII. |flails| he's such an idiot & i'm so mean to him... |sniffs| ... you got me. it's a lot of fun being mean to him.)


	10. how to waste time with someone you hate

This chapter should be called "how to earn your M-rating". Because yeah, we definitely earned it (we meaning "Saraa and les". sonya is Too Innocent to write something like, well, _this_).  
**Disclaimer**: it's, like, never been ours?  
**Dedication**: to... uhm... finding lost USB sticks, and GLEE.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _No Subject_

So, Toots… 'Sup?

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikynooneiswatching  
Subject: _Why are you e-mailing me, again?_

Nothing much... Just got home (ewh, I hate school), and now am trying to decide which kind of cake to make for Her Shyness's birthday.  
(Which isn't even until December, but I am _so indecisive_, it's not even funny...)

You?

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _...To get a passing grade._

Yeah, high school sucks - college's better. Oh cake! I like sweets... Can I help? (but I can't bake... but still.)  
(...Wow... I have no words.)

I am just leaving out of my Calculus class. And going home.

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: ..._Your argument is rendered invalid and incorrect, and therefore useless._

I want to get out of high school, quite literally as fast as I can. Oh, right, I guess I did promise that we'd... bake... a cake... (why is part of my soul shrieking in agony? Why is this?)  
(Eh, it takes a brain to form words, so yeah, that makes sense.)

Ewwh, Calculus...  
Say this is stereotypical, and I _will_ throttle you - I can't stand math. It's just so...  
I don't even know the word.

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _If you say so..._

I felt the same way... well... Yeah. Oh yeah, you did, didn't you? I forgot about that part. So how about it? (...I... don't know? Because you're... you?)  
(Why are you beginning to argue with me, when I'm being nothing but nice?)

Calculus does suck.  
But it's required for my major. So yes.

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _I do._

Well, if you want to come over... We'll... bake a cake. (I am not sure whether to be insulted or not.)  
Go up ninth, and turn off on Valley Road - house number 121.

BioChem, right?  
Huh, I was thinking of going into Social Sciences... (hence why I am taking AP Psychology.)

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Okay. So you say so._

Okay, I'll... come over. And we'll bake a cake. (It wasn't meant as an insult.)  
Alright, got it. I'll be there... in twenty.

Yeah.  
Ha, if you were to take this class next year, you'd get along with the teacher-student... who'd be a teacher... Oh, whatever - I suppose you know what I mean.

-Sharky :D

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _I doooo say so. For I am pretty!_

Okay then! ^_^ (...You get off with a warning, this time.)  
Mmkay, see you.

(... Do you find this as awkward as I do?)

Really? The crazy one? I'd like her?  
...Once again, not sure to be insulted or complimented.

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _...Um. Sure...? _

Yup. (...What did I do _now_?)  
Yeah... I'm driving over now... Wow...

(Yes, yes I _do _find this awkward. And I'm terrified that you might... stuff me in your basement and feed me to some sort of monster.)

Yeah, her. And it's not _meant _as an insult. Why do you take everything as an insult?

-Sharky :D

* * *

Suigetsu drove his silver Corvette down the street extra slowly, reading the numbers of the houses until he finally reached the one with the 121 neatly written on its mailbox. He parked his car and remained seated, hands still on the steering wheel. He sighed - he was going to meet this bipolar girl that broke his balls.

Seriously.

What the fuck.

Shaking his head, he took the keys out of the ignition and stepped out of the car, making sure to lock it before he began to walk towards the front door. Looking down at his attire (purple pull-down hoodie, gray skinnies and purple-and-black beat-up vans), he decided he looked... _presentable._ If it was a habit he picked up from Kiba's mother after all these years, it was to look presentable and treat women with respect.

He reached the front door and, with one hand stuffed in his pockets, he rung the doorbell.

* * *

Karin heard the door bell ring, and looked up. Oh. Jailbait... he was on time. Karin was impressed. She looked down at herself, to take stock of how much damage her (so far, brutal) adventures with the baking stuff had gone.

The fact that her sunny yellow tank-top was still yellow, her black leggings were still black, and her favourite short, loose, flowy cream skirt (yeah, those ones that kind of came with being the stereotypical dancer) was still cream was an immense relief to Karin - the flour hadn't turned it white.

What was _not_ to Karin's liking was the damn apron she was wearing - the only single apron Karin could find in the entire house (and it wasn't for lack of searching - Karin's mother was _intent_ on finding ways to make Karin's life just that _little_ bit more miserable; this apron was one of them) was this horrid _thing_ she was wearing. It was pink and frilly and Karin was fairly certain that, given the chance, Tenten would put it through a shredder.

And she couldn't even take it off - she liked her clothes too much to let them get ruined!

It was like _doom_.

She shook herself, and headed towards the front door. Karin took a deep breath - _donotkillhimdonotkillhim_, and opened the door.

A guy was standing there, hands stuffed into his pockets. Karin blinked at him, and then said "Uh... hi, Jailbait."

"Hey," he replied.

They stood there and stared awkwardly at each other for a minute or so. Then Karin shrugged, and said "You should probably come in - the cat's going to get out, and it's kinda cold."

She opened the door enough to let him in, and said "I'm Karin, by the way."

* * *

She was pretty.

Red hair, dark red eyes, black librarian-styled glasses - and a good sense of fashion.

She was _pretty_.

Suigetsu cleared his throat and walked in after her, shutting the door closed behind him. The place was homey and clean and nice and... _clean _- not at all the messy dump he lived in; which reminded him... he had to clean up. Suigetsu shook his head, strands of silver-white hair whipping at his alabaster face.

"I'm Karin, by the way."

His ice-purple eyes snapped open and he stared at her as he walked into the kitchen with her. "Suigetsu - I'm Suigetsu."

He looked around at the mess on the island in the center of the kitchen and lifted a brow, "You got started without me," he smirked, one of his canines peaking out at the side of his lips.

* * *

Karin gave him the 'are-you-stupid?' look, and rolled her eyes. "Sor-ry... I just got some flour out, and some sugar... Oh, and I turned the oven on. Don't let me forget that, okay? Because if I'm not careful, it'll set itself on fire..."

He stared at her, incredulous. "The oven... will-"

"Set itself on fire, yes." Karin pushed her glasses up her nose - damn things. She grinned -sparkle-sparkle, sheen-sheen, _doom to twilight_- at him, and said "My house has a tendency to try to kill its inhabitants. We're not really sure why."

Suigetsu continued to stare at her, and Karin felt oddly unnerved by his stare - okay, he was attractive on many levels. But she also knew he could be a _real_ prick, and, unlike Ino, Karin was not one to fall hard and fast, trusting that her heart was right about people, about the person - Karin was the type to fall hard, but she fell slow. Karin didn't trust.

And she was a hard-to-please little _bitch_, most of the time.

Karin pushed her hair back behind her ears. Ugh, there _had_ to be something to tie her hair back with _somewhere_ around here - Karin spotted a little ponytail sitting just out of reach. She pointed to it. "Uhm, could you pass me that hair tie? And then we'll get started, 'kay?"

* * *

Suigetsu darted his eyes to the black hair-tie little ways from him and grabbed it, stretching his hand out with it resting on his palm.

He watched her take it and watched her tie her hair up into a messy ponytail, expression a bit bored. Before he could open his mouth to say anything, though, he heard the most annoying sound he could have ever heard - the mewling of a damn cat. Fuck, did he _hate _cats - another side affect from hanging out with Kiba: he became a dog lover and a cat basher. He glared at the vile beast and quickly side-stepped it.

"So what flavour are we starting with," he asked, leaning against the island and grabbing a spatula, looking at it with a tilted head and then waving it around. Suigetsu glared when the black fur-ball neared his feet again. He tried not to seem obvious in his dislike of the thing and continued to wave spatula in the air.

And then... the _thing _scratched him.

Suigetsu growled.

* * *

Karin_ snickered_. "Percy doesn't like you very much, does she?"

Suigetsu almost yelled. "What the hell? Your cat's evil!"

"Nah!" Karin said, and she swooped down to scoop the tatty little kitten up. The little thing turned in her arms, and kept it's golden gaze locked securely on Suigetsu's body. Karin ran her fingers through the constantly-matted black fur, and smiled. She'd found Persephone curled up under her front porch almost six weeks ago - the kitten was still only beginning to trust Karin, and anyone else who _dared_ get close to her, really ought to run for their lives.

Karin held the kitten up to Suigetsu. "See? She's sweet!"

Said 'sweet' little cat had a miniature bitch-fit in Karin's arms, and started hissing and spitting in Suigetsu's general direction.

Karin nearly doubled over with laughter as she put the black kitten down. It ran off, but not without first giving Suigetsu a cat's signature stink-eye, which, to anyone who knows anything, is _far_ worse then a human's stink-eye (Karin had found that cats did disdain _far_ better then a person ever could).

Karin could only clutch her stomach as she laughed. It was highly amusing - watching what was pretty much a full-grown-man have a bitch-fight with a kitten.

_Especially_ when the kitten clearly won.

When the laughter had finally exhausted itself, Karin went to find some cocoa. They _were_ making a chocolate cake, after all.

* * *

Suigetsu sneered at the thing as it glared right back at him.

Maybe he still carried Akamaru's stench with him...? Gah, he _knew _he shouldn't have done that favor for Kiba. Akamaru was a furry ball of energy! _This _was the reason why he had to wash the interior of his car (stupid dog sheddings) and _this _was also the reason why that stupid cat _scratched _him. Fuck, his leg was kind of throbbing - stupid puny thing and it's stupid sharp claws.

He huffed and walked towards the sink, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows and washing his hands. "Stupid cat and it's stupid claws," he muttered under his breath, amethyst eyes glaring at the water. He closed the faucet and wiped his hands dry and turned back to the girl - Karin.

Damn, this was fucking _awkward_.

...Well for him, at least - she seemed comfortable already. But then again this was _her _house. He watched her come back with jar of cocoa at hand; he grinned. They were making _chocolate _cake. Suigetsu _loved _chocolate cake, as childish as that sounded. But c'mon, you can't blame him - it's _chocolate cake_.

"Awesome, chocolate cake," he smirked (little canine peaking out again) at her and began to crack his fingers one by one. "Alright, tell me what to do, Toots."

* * *

Part of Karin's soul _died_ when he called her Toots - it just _died_. And then went to hell. Because heaven was _not_ on Karin's List Of Places To Go In The Near Future (the reason? Oh, she was baking it for Hinata's birthday - _Devil's Food Cake_).

However, she managed to conceal the twitch, and nodded towards the flour. "Okay," she said. "We're making Devil's Food Cake - because it's the most amazing cake ever. And Snow White loves it - both it, and Angel's Food Cake. We'll make that one next, actually, because she likes vanilla better then chocolate..."

He blinked at her again. _Next?_ he thought. The girl was clearly thinking ahead...

She blinked right back at him. "Why are you looking at me like that? Anyways, the recipe calls for... uhm, two cups of flour, two cups of sugar, seven teaspoons of cocoa..."

As she listed each thing off, Suigetsu managed to find it for her. He looked a little uncomfortable, but Karin was not in the mood to care. Because, _hi,_ hello, _Devil's Food Cake_. It was only the best chocolate cake ever to exist in history. As she read the instructions, Karin's brow furrowed. Hm, she was going to need some equipment... "Sui, could you grab me the electric mixer?"

He goggled. She'd just - just called him by a nickname! And more then that, it was a nickname that wasn't _insulting_.

Karin turned around, and gave him A Look that clearly said "If you do not get moving, _very bad things_ are going to happen to your anatomy, okay?" She pointed to one of the ground level cupboards, and she watched in satisfaction as he knelt down to get it.

"Mmkay, put the cocoa, the boiling water from the kettle, and the butter in a bowl, and mix it, okay? It has to be smooth, too..."

While Suigetsu did as she asked, Karin fluttered around; she grabbed the sugar and the flour and the separated eggs -_remember, only the egg whites!_ her grandmother's recipe warned-, and began working on getting it all ready to shift together. It would mix together -taste test, taste test-, she'd put it in the oven, and they would start making the frosting...

Karin grinned over at her partner when he wasn't looking. She totally had him whipped; _thank you_ Tenten!

* * *

Suigetsu sighed and stepped away from his Epic Stirring. He blew those damn annoying strands of hair away from his amethyst eyes and then pulled his hoodie off, allowing a black t-shirt (with the Rolling Stones logo on it) to come to view. He looked around and settled for placing his sweater on a stool before continuing his stirring.

He blinked and made sure Karin wasn't looking and quickly dipped his forefinger into the batter and brought it to his lips.

"HEY!"

Damn, not swift enough.

Suigetsu turned to give his partner a cheeky grin. "I... Was checking if it was smooth..."

Karin only raised an eyebrow and narrowed her eyes only slightly. He blinked and turned back to his stirring.

It wasn't like he was scared of the girl, nor was he... _whipped _(_HA, liar! Liar!_ - Stupid Mutt! Stupid Dead-Last!)... He just _really _didn't want to argue with her. Nor did he want to, like, get kicked out of her house because they were arguing. So he was just... trying to stay on her good side. Honest.

He blew his hair out of his face again and shifted his weight from one leg to the other. Okay, so, baking wasn't as fun as that lady on TV made it look - stirring, stirring, stirring; it was making his arm numb! Suigetsu turned back to look at Karin through the corner of his eyes and watched as she... did some sort of magic. It was magic, that was all he had to say. The electric mixer he had passed her? Yeah, it was _mixing _the eggs and the sugar and the flour. _Together._

Amazing.

"Okay," he drawled, after a few minutes of stirring-stirring-stirring, "It's nice and smooth - what do I do now?"

Bah. He was completely at her mercy in this damn kitchen - this is why he only lived off of ramen, cereal and takeout. Stupid cooking.

* * *

Karin was having trouble not giving in to the laughter - she was trying so hard to restrain it, that she was quite literally _shaking_.

She bit her lip to hold in the giggles, and said "Give it here, we have to mix it with this..."

As she took the bowl full of the chocolate-y mixture from him, their fingers accidentally touched - Karin felt sparks of heat prickle along her arms. She yanked the bowl away from him, and stiffly beat the egg whites into the batter. _Watch yourself, girlie_, Tenten admonished in her head. _Keep that head of yours on straight. Otherwise __**you will become a cliché**__, and __**no one**__ wants that_.

She could feel his eyes on her as she poured the batter into two pans, and she knew his gaze didn't leave her body until she slipped both of said pans into the pre-heated (_not-on-fire-for-once_) oven, and turned to face him, a peevish look on her face. Her glasses were slipping down her nose.

She flicked a little left-over flour at his head, and said "Would you quit _staring_ at me, weirdo?"

* * *

He blinked, shaking his head and letting the white dust pollute his air.

Oh. Oh she did _not_ just really do that.

Suigetsu's eyes narrowed as he grabbed some of the flour into his hand and threw it right back at her. "I wasn't _staring_. I was _thinking _and you were in the way."

He smirked and ducked the fist-full of flour, snickering when the white stuff spread all over the spot where he had stood. Suigetsu turned his triumphant grin towards her, only for it to be completely wiped off when she had another hand-full ready - and she threw it. At him. In his face.

He coughed and snapped his eyes shut. Shaking his head to get rid of the damn thing, he neared her, turning ice-purple eyes towards the small bowl full of frosting. A smirk appeared on his flour-stained face and he dipped a finger into it and raised the vanilla-coated finger towards her, swiftly running it down her cheek and leaving a sticky trail behind it.

Karin gaped at him, "You!"

Suigetsu only laughed before he yelped when his nose felt some cold, stickiness on it. He blinked and narrowed his eyes and this time, dipped his four fingers into the frosting and ran it, horizontally, across her lips.

"Ha," he teased.

And then the flour came back and Suigetsu only growled as he chased her around the kitchen, throwing fist-fulls upon fist-fulls of flours after her. And her laughing made Suigetsu smile - not smirk, but _smile_. And pretty soon he was laughing too.

...Well, before she started chasing _him _with the bowl of frosting.

* * *

Karin contemplated the fact that they were going to have to make more frosting, and that it would be a pain - but by this point in time, Karin just didn't care anymore. She scooped up a handful of frosting - it clumped around the flour, ewh - and pretty much jumped on him to smear it in his hair.

_No way in hell_ did Karin let herself lose.

Especially something as easy as baking-goods fight.

"Hey, Toots, that's my hair!" he squawked at her, and Karin just grinned cheekily up at him. She could see the flour marks across her glasses, but she didn't particularly care. It was _way_ too much fun, making him mad like this.

They were standing too close together - Karin's fingers were sticky, locked in his hair, and they just stared at each other. They were both covered in cocoa and flour and sugar and frosting - _sweet_. Karin's smile turned slow and dangerous, and just to be a bitchy little _tease_, started licking the fingers of her free right hand.

* * *

What. The. _Fuck_. Was she doing?

Suigetsu went mildly stiff as his eyes, widened, just a bit, followed her tongue go up and down her fingers and he had to fight back the urge to just groan and roll his eyes at the pure _tease _she had just fucking transformed to. Okay, Suigetsu was having an internal battle with himself because _hi, hello, _she was a _minor_... Well... No... He was still eighteen, too. So...

Fuck.

No.

He couldn't do this.

He _couldn't_.

Oh god, now she was _sucking _the frosting off her fingers and... Suigetsu's brow furrowed.

He couldn't take it - he couldn't _fight _it. He slowly rose a hand and placed it on her shoulder, pushing her back until her back hit (gently, because he knew how to be gentle) the island and waited for her to lift her head up to look at him. And when she did, he didn't waste a minute (okay, so he had looked -through the smears of flour on her lens' - at her eyes for five seconds... but still) before he, gently, slowly, teasingly, licked some of the frosting off her lips with the tip of his tongue.

* * *

Karin almost snarled. Oh _no_. No _way_ was he turning this one on her. If they were going to play _that_ game, they were going to play by _her_ rules - Karin didn't play anyone's rules but her own.

She arched her back up against him, and ground her hips against his - and Karin _knew_ he wasn't always comfortable with grinding. Her right arm curled around his neck, and tugged him down closer to her. Her lips traveled hungrily along the line of his jaw - _yummm_,_ melted chocolate,_ she thought, slightly dizzy.

She _felt_ the growl that resonated low in his vocal range - her lips were against his throat, by this point. "Toots, you're playing games, and I don't fuckin' like it."

Karin pulled away from his neck, and glared up at him, "Shut up and kiss me, please."

For emphasis, she rolled her hips against his - the responding groan had her laughing huskily.

* * *

Okay, Suigetsu decided that a life time's worth of bonding time with the Dead-Last was better than this. Because _this_?

_This _could _not _be happening.

Well. It could. And it was. But Suigetsu had no idea if it was good or bad. And you know what, he had no idea why he was_ caring _in the first place - usually, in all seriousness, by now he would have the girl in nothing but her panties and bras and in her room. _Why _was this any different?

But nonetheless did he comply with her... harsh request.

He placed his lips against hers and kissed her. And... hot _fucking _damn was she good. There was nipping, gnawing, licking, sucking, biting - _fuck, _this was too much. Suigetsu was only glad that the kiss was distracting her from grinding her hips against his.

But he was wrong. Again.

She rolled her hips against his. Again.

Suigetsu gripped her hips as he continued to kiss her with just as much fervor as she was. But, he decided, this grip on her teasing-damn-_fucking_-teasing hips was the grip on his sanity.

She ground against him again and Suigetsu groaned into the kiss.

* * *

Karin knotted her fingers in his hair as he hoisted her up on the island - even as he did, she hooked her legs around his hips. _Ha_, she thought hazily, _you are _not_ stopping my grindage, jerk_.

His shirt was _in the way_, Karin thought. She curled her fists into the annoyingly soft fabric, hissed against his lips, and pulled at it _violently_. He pulled back for a minute to glare at her. She entirely ignored it, and went back to pulling on his shirt.

"Get _rid_ of this damn shirt, please!" she hissed at him; she was past thinking, past being rational. She wanted him naked and she wanted him naked _this instant_.

"Ladies first, Toots," he said with a quiet sneer.

She had a violent urge to _bite_ him for that comment.

* * *

He took a harsh grip of her shirt and began to pull it up, teeth busy nipping at her jaw. By now, they were both breathing hard, coherence and anything related to it completely out the door - it was just him and her and this _damn fucking _urge they were both _fucking _feeling.

But halfway way up her tummy, Karin pushed him away just enough to be able to yank his damn shirt off; and she didn't let him near her until it was completely off his person. Suigetsu growled and stared at her as he neared her again. This time, though, he grabbed her shirt with mucho force and pulled it up, throwing it aside once it was successfully off. His eyes roamed her exposed torso, a smirk coming to his lips at the sight of her in a black lacy bra. Damn, she was _pretty_.

Their lips clashed together again in a harsh kiss, their hands roaming their exposed skin. Suigetsu pulled away and buried his face in the junction of her neck and shoulder, his teeth quickly going to work, nipping and sucking.

His eyes snapped open and he pulled away, his hand shooting up towards his chest as default reaction. He glared at the smirking vixen in front of him, "Ow - what the _fuck _was that for?"

"Shut up," he watched her eyes dart back to his nipple and he smirked.

"You like it?" His smirk only grew when she shot him a glare, "You like pierced nipples, Toots? Huh. You don't have to fuckin' _bite _it, though." His smirk disappeared and a glare replaced it.

Now she was the one doing the smirk-glaring. "Didn't I tell you to shut up and kiss me?"

"Don't bite me, then." He neared her again and his hand shot out to her hips. He kissed her feverishly for a few minutes and then he began to trail kisses down her jaw, down her neck, down the junction of her neck and shoulder - down-down-down.

* * *

"I'll bite you if I _feel_ like it, asshole," she murmured back against his hair, and gulped when he nipped lightly at her collarbone - he had _no idea_ how sensitive that area was. Karin sighed softly, a low-pitched whine passing her lips.

He absolutely _froze_ above her, and the next noise he made was a black growl that made Karin want to jump all over him - low in his throat, dangerous, and _sexy as hell_. It was all she could do to grab his face, and _force_ him to kiss her again. She rolled her hips again, and muttered "_Fuck_ this, your pants are in the way."

His mouth was at her ear - "Are you fuckin' sure you want to go through with this, Toots? Because there is _no_ going back, understand?"

Karin ignored him entirely; her hands were already at his belt, and all she said was "Shut _up_ and take your pants off. The cake is going to burn if you don't hurry the hell up!"

He smirked, raised an eyebrow, and said "You really want to get in my pants that bad, huh?"

Karin snarled, pushed herself off the island, knelt down, and grabbed his zipper between her teeth. Her voice was a little muffled as she told him "You _asked_ for this, jerk."

* * *

Suigetsu's eyes widened as he stared down at her and _fuckfuckfuck_...

His brow furrowed, "You're fuckin' crazy."

But even as he said that, his hand reached towards her face, eyes concentrating - because he was _not _going to show her the effect she was making on him - and lips set straight. He grabbed some of the sticky strands of hair covering her face and he gently pushed them away.

But then his snarl was back in place. "Do it, then - stop talking and _do it."_

Everything after that was synonymous with ecstasy.

...-...

He stared down at the batter he was mixing - a _new one, _while she applied the frosting to the cake that - honest to god he had no idea how - they managed to save. His breathing was getting shallow and, in all seriousness, he was getting kinda sleepy. He needed some fuel (preferably some drinks... or... well... more sex) to jump back in there. But bah, whatever.

Suigetsu yawned and continued to do his work, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. No, he was not going to even _look _at Karin because then he'd want to jump her again. At that thought, Suigetsu growled; if there ever _was _another jumping at each other... they were going to go by _his _rules. He allowed her her fun this time, but after that, it was what _he_ wanted. 'The fuck, she wanted to believe _she _had the power?

He almost laughed, but remained cool and collected.

"What's this one called," he asked, staring at the batter. The one they _saved _was called Devil's Food Cake. And he mused that she _had _said the name to this one too, but... (and he smirked at this) the activities that were done kinda made him forget.

* * *

Karin rolled her eyes. Hm, her whole body felt sore in a lovely, exhausted way. Hate sex. Seriously _yummy_ hate sex.

"It's Angel Food Cake. Didn't I tell you? Snowy likes vanilla better then chocolate..." she murmured, her voice low and raspy. Karin carefully poured the fluffy, white batter into another two pans, and carefully slipped them into the oven with a satisfied-sounding sigh.

Her whole body felt sticky. Ew.

Karin grimaced. "I need to shower, I feel disgusting."

She watched a smirk work it's way across his face, and she raised an eyebrow at him. "Why are you smirking at me like that? Do you _want_ something, or...?"

* * *

Suigetsu neared her, slow steps after slow steps.

No, he did _not _like her (_LIAR. YOU'RE FUCKING WHIPPED!_ Stupid Kiba! Stupid Naruto! ... And were those Sasuke and Neji's chuckles...?) but the sex was fucking amazing and she was becoming... she was becoming like a bittersweet addiction.

He was standing right in front of her, their fronts pressing to each other. And in some sort of way - which the term left him so it shall have no name - he liked the fact that she didn't back away from him. His ice-purple eyes clashed with her wine-red ones and there was this battle of sorts that... just... wow. He had no words.

Amidst their glaring-staring, Suigetsu reached for her thighs, grabbing them and with his man-strength raised her up until she was hoisted on his waist, legs securely wrapped around him.

"Save water, shower with me, " he whispered huskily against her neck.

* * *

_Oh_, _hello_ _there_! Karin mentally murmured as he picked her up and pretty much wrapped her around him. Hm, so _this_ was what power felt like.

All she said was "Save the world, right? But just so you know; if I don't get to wash my hair, I'm gonna be pretty pissed."

She felt him smile against her neck, felt him nip the skin there -damn, that was going to be _yet another_ hickey, how annoying; cover-up was going to be her bff for a long time after today, but it was _so_ worth it-, and she whispered huskily "The bathroom is up one floor, down the hall, third down on the right. Put me down, please, and... oh, yeah. Catch me if you can."

She was out of his arms before he had even realized what she'd said - Karin really had issues controlling her teasing side.

* * *

He blinked and then growled like a complete predator, sprinting after her a second after she was gone.

When he got to the bathroom, she was already there, her back facing him and her hands running through her sticky hair. He walked in, slowly and quietly closing the door - and locking it, just in case - and he neared her. Almost carefully - gently - he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind; no later did he flip her around and slam her against the wall.

She hissed and snapped her eyes up to glare at him. "'The fuck was that for, jerk?"

Suigetsu smirked evilly. "You want to tease me, so be it. Watch what _I'm _going to do to _you_."

And before she could register what he said, before she could _tease-fight _back, Suigetsu did what he did best. Pleasure a woman.

He nipped at her collarbone, one of his hands pinning both of hers against the wall. "It seems you're sensitive _here_, Toots," he murmured in a drawl. He nipped again, nipped-sucked-nibbled-nipped. He smirked triumphantly at her escalating breathing. His free hand sunk down and took a hold of her backside, grabbing and pushing her up the wall, growling when she squeezed her legs around him.

...-...

How they got their clothes off, how they got into the shower, how they even turned the water on was beyond him. But, fuck, if he didn't admit that was the best sex he has had in a long while, he'd be damn fucking lying.

Sweet, sweet - bittersweet addiction.

* * *

They were standing at the door together. Karin was in nothing but a long-ish sweater and thigh-high stripy socks, had her still-wet hair piled on top of her head, and was too busy being satisfied to care about anything. Hm, hate sex was _definitely_ the way to go. She was going to be sore for a week.

Dance was going to be a bitch, but it was so, _so_, worth it.

They stared at each other, and then Karin said, a slow, lazy smirk on her lips "We're still not friends, but I'd totally sleep with you again."

* * *

Suigetsu smirked, his little fang-like canine peaking out from the corner of his mouth. His hair was damp, falling in straight, messy torrents all around his head and face; he peered at her through his silver-white bangs. His hands were dug into his pockets, sweater on once again and he... was satiated. Damn fucking satiated.

"Huh," he grunted, "Don't worry, the feeling is mutual."

And then he dipped down and clashed his lips with hers. It amazed him how heated the damn kiss was; like it all started - gnawing, sucking, biting... teeth, tongues. Her fingernails scraped his back and, though he wore a shirt and a sweater, he was still able to feel it.

By the time he had her pinned to the wall again, Suigetsu deemed it time for him to go before he screwed her again. He pulled away, both breathing heavily, eyes clashing. He smirked again, moved some strands of her hair out of her face and walked down the steps.

"See ya around, Toots," he called from over his shoulder as he walked away, hands dug into his pockets.

* * *

Karin didn't even stare after him - hello, she had more pride then that.

But _hot_ _damn_, the boy was a _god_.

Karin found her cell phone in the wreckage that was the kitchen (there was still flour everywhere), and found three differences; one, she had missed a call from her mother, and therefore now had a voicemail; two, at some point, Suigetsu had managed to somehow program his number into her phone under "booty call #1"; and three, there was text.

**From: booty call #1  
To: Toots  
You better fuckin' delete those other two booty calls off your phone, Toots. You're MINE.**

Ten minutes later, Karin sent out her own text.

**From: Candii  
To: Sak-ura; Piglette; Hina-chan, Tenten  
I'm not gonna be able to dance for a week. BEST. HATE. SEX. EVER. ***_**BE JEALOUS.***_

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Suigetsu opened the door to Naruto's house - which, no was not rude; Kushina herself had berated the boys for even _thinking _they had to knock. Bah, she had even given them spare keys each! Her Naru-kun's friends were her boys, too! (And it was even cooler when Kiba's mom got together with her - Kiba's mom _was _stricter, tho'. Sasuke's mom? She was _too damn sweet _to be the Emo-Boy's mom.)

He had decided to just go home and change his clothes (soiled with flour and frosting) and then head to the Dead-Last's house right after receiving a text from said Dead-Last.

"How are you Kushina," he asked once he walked in, stopping by the kitchen to give the woman a hug. He smirked at her and had a nice conversation with the redheaded woman. After his mother died, Kushina had taken it upon herself to go to his house every Sunday and make sure he was stocked with food and if he _cleaned_.

"Naruto-kun and the other boys are upstairs, hun," she said after their little chat about how he was doing.

Suigetsu gave a curt nod and excused himself. He went up the stairs and turned left and then walked towards the door that was Naruto's room. He opened it and Kiba and Sasuke were there already, a beer in the former's hand while the latter's was at his feet while he played video games with the Dead-Last.

"Yo," he said as he walked in, grabbing a beer from the twelve-pack-box-thing, opening it with his teeth and taking a seat.

* * *

Kiba took one look at the almost-exhausted, faintly-dreamy look on Suigetsu's face. In true man fashion, he could only yell _"DUDE_. YOU JUST GOT _LAID_."

The smirk that replaced the dreamy look (said look was almost frightening on it's own - Kiba was definitely glad when it went, but he knew it would be popping up for a week; when a guy had that sort of grin, it had to have been _really, really, really_ good sex) was frightening. Naruto shot around, and stared at Suigetsu. Again? Really?

Sasuke didn't even look away from the TV. Suigetsu was a whore, so what _else_ was new?

"Please tell me she was legal. I don't fucking like the look on your face," Kiba told him rather seriously.

Suigetsu rolled his eyes at the stupid Mutt.

"Excuse me, you fuckin' dick-face - I'm eighteen too so _fuck off_."

"Right," Sasuke said, never looking away from the TV, "That makes it _perfectly _alright. Ever the whore, Sharkbait."

Suigetsu snorted and rolled his eyes again and took a swig of his beer. "Shut the fuck, Emo-Boy. Fuck." God these asses were such douches. In all seriousness, not even a minute in there and they were already attacking him and cramping up his style.

Naruto, Sasuke and Kiba froze at precisely the same time as one single thought came to their individual minds. The trio allowed smirks to dominate their features as (Naruto paused the game) they turned to stare at the youngest out of them all.

"Well fuck me sideways" Naruto said, his smirk growing, "You banged your pen pal, didn't you?"

"No."

Sasuke chuckled, "So that was all the fucking sexual tension. Che."

"I said it wasn't her," Suigetsu growled.

"Dude," Kiba said, his smirk turning into a wolfish grin, "Stop fucking lying, douche! It _was_ her, huh? I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT."

"It. Wasn't. Her. Back the fuck off!"

The other three stared at him with 'stop-fucking-lying-douche-we're-going-to-fuck-you-up-if-you-don't-tell-the-truth' looks. Suigetsu only grunted and continued to drink his beer. Stupid Mutt. Stupid Dead-Last. Stupid Emo-Boy.

"Was she good?" Naruto finally asked.

"Fuck yeah."

* * *

Kiba's smirk hit 'through-the-roof'. "You are so fucking transparent, dude. Seriously, tho'. How was it?"

The return of the slightly-dreamy look told all three other men in the room everything they needed to know (or, in Sasuke's case, far more then was required - fuck, he _knew_ Suigetsu got laid, who _gave_ a damn? Suigetsu was _always_ getting laid).

"Holy fuck, this must have been something special, you look like you got high and then had alcohol..."

"Fuck, Dobe, pay attention, you're gonna get us killed!" Sasuke ordered, his jaw clenched. Sasuke hated losing.

Naruto yelped, and dove for his PS3 controller just as something that Kiba couldn't see shot at his head. He cracked another can of beer, and went back to probing his best friend's brain for bits and pieces of information. Because, really, being an annoying asshole was one of the things Kiba did best.

"So what the hell happened?" Kiba asked.

When Suigetsu didn't immediately respond, Kiba threw an empty beer can at his head. The empty-sounding 'thunk' it made had Kiba howling with laughter, and Suigetsu grumbling obscenities.

When things finally calmed down, Kiba stared expectantly at his rarely-awkward best friend as he shifted uncomfortably. There was _no way in hell_ Suigetsu was getting out of this questioning session, because it was just part of their ridiculous traditions - prodding each other about members of the fairer sex.

Because, hell, girls were _weird_.

"We had a cake fight," Suigetsu muttered, a reminiscent little smirk across his face.

Kiba stared at him, flabbergasted. "You had a fucking _cake_ fight? Like, fucking chocolate _cake_?"

"Yeah, she talked me into baking a cake. And then I banged her in the kitchen. I don't even know how the hell we made it to the shower... Then I almost fuckin' banged her a third time in the front hall. How was your day?"

Kiba could only clap his friend on the back, and say "I... Congrats. I spent my day with Ino..."

Kiba proceeded to go quiet, and get lost in that pathetic part of his brain that was reserved for Ino - said pathetic part was getting larger _every fucking day_. Suigetsu rolled his eyes, and threw his empty beer can at Kiba's head for the second time in less then half an hour.

"OW, YOU ASSHOLE!"

* * *

"Dude, you're fuckin' WHIPPED."

"Fuck you, douche!"

"Never thought I'd see the day that Kiba the Man Whore got WHIPPED." Suigetsu laughed, pressing the palm of his left hand (the right one held his new beer-can) to his forehead as he shook his head in pure amusement.

"DAMMIT DOBE."

Sasuke's voice rose an octave. That meant The Unbeatable Duo was losing.

"I'M TRYING, TEME, I'M FUCKING TRYING! THAT STUPID SONUVABETCH WON'T FUCKING DIE!"

He paused the game and ran a hand through his wild blond, droopy spikes. Meanwhile, Sasuke glared at his best friend and took a swig or five of his beer.

"Alright," Suigetsu said, smirk on his lips, "let me get this straight; the Mutt has this Ino-chick and the Dead-Last is drooling over that shy little thing he-"

"HEY. RESPECT. SHOW SOME RESPECT."

"-hung out with. The Barbie-Doll is getting manhandled by his pen pal and I'm not one to settle down for shit. So Emo-Boy...how about you? Still a virgin?"

The other two grinned.

Sasuke turned to glare at Suigetsu, eyes narrowed down into slits. "Fuck off, idiot."

"Wait, wait," Kiba said in between his laughter, a hand pressed to his left eye (that was teary from all the laughing) and shaking the other one in the air. "What about that chick from the skating rink? I saw you, douche-bag! You were talking her up!"

"WHAT," Naruto howled, "The Teme was spittin' some game?"

"No. Fuckin'. Way," Suigetsu said.

"Not even, you fucking idiots would believe anything." Sasuke glared and shoved his blond best friend. "Hurry up!"

"Wait! So you got a chick in mind - wait, so you're not a fag?"

"I'LL KILL YOU."

* * *

"You're losing really fuckin' badly," Suigetsu said, a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.

Sasuke snarled. _"FUCK_, Dobe!"

He was clearly done with this shit. Why was he even friends with these losers, anyway?

But then Kiba started beating Naruto over the head with the nearest heavy, blunt object -from the corner of Sasuke's eye, it looked like a metal bat-, and Sasuke realized: seriously _else_ would have a metal bat in their bedroom?

After beating Naruto soundly over the skull with the metal bat for a decent amount of time -passably just enough to do some serious brain damage-, Kiba grabbed the left over controller, and took over. Fuck, they were going to _kill_ his winning streak - and Kiba _really_ hated losing.

He hated losing almost as much as he hated people who couldn't aim straight.

"OI, BASTARD, CAREFUL WITH THAT GUN, YOU'RE GONNA KILL SOMEONE!"

* * *

Sasuke smirked as he continue to shoot. "I was aiming at you, Mutt."

Suigetsu took the term roll-on-floor-laughing literally. He was holding his sides as he laughed at Kiba's flabbergasted-pissed look and Sasuke's need to kill the Mutt even if he was his partner, and the Dead Last lying on the ground groaning and reaching for a can of beer. God, these idiots were too fucking much sometimes.

"Wah? IDIOT, I'M YOUR FUCKING PARTNER."

"Not anymore."

"FUCKING HELL, PRICK, QUIT FUCKING AROUND!"

Sasuke chuckled.

"Oh fuck, this is fuckin' hilarious; you two can't fuckin' work together for shit!" Suigetsu's laughter was to the point were his eyes were watery and his stomach was clenching from the lack of air. And then he stopped abruptly, "I'm hungry."

"OH!," Naruto sky rocketed to his feet, "LET'S GO MAKE RAMEN!"

Suigetsu tackled him to the bed, "Fuck you and your ramen, Dead-Last!" And he caught his head in a headlock. Naruto's leg-thrashing, though, managed to get Kiba in the shoulder, causing the other male to growl and turn around and jump on the two wrestling teens.

"You little shit-heads!" He said as he smacked Suigetsu across the head and stuffed Naruto's face on the mattress.

Sasuke sighed, blinked and stood from the bed before he was caught in the brawl. He took the last few swigs of his beer-can... Just to end up choking on it when _someone _kicked him in the back. He coughed and sputtered, forcing the beer down his throat and then growled, turning around to glare menacingly at the other three.

They grinned innocently, pointing at each other; Suigetsu pointed at Kiba, Kiba pointed at Naruto and Naruto pointed at Suigetsu.

And then they blinked, looked at each other and then back at the glaring Sasuke. They smirked, shrugged and jumped off the bed.

"GET HIM!"

Next thing Sasuke knew, he was on the floor, having to block kicks and punches and hits. And throw kicks and punches back, of course.

* * *

An hour and a half or so later, the four now-bruised boys left Naruto's house (Suigetsu was wincing a little more then the others... that bitch [read: Karin] was not a gentle girl in any stretch of the imagination). They had fought for a half hour, gotten bored, and then gone downstairs.

Kushina, being Kushina, had huffed and fussed and forced food down all their throats before allowing them to leave her presence.

"Which car are we taking?" Kiba asked boredly. If he wasn't driving, he better damn well have shot-gun. He _really_ couldn't stand the Dead-Last's taste in music - it was usually bloody well the most damn annoying thing he had ever heard in his life. Kiba just couldn't _stand_ LMFAO - it was so fucking _degrading_. If he had to listen to another _second_ of 'Yes!', he was going to go apeshit, and destroy whichever set of stereo's it was coming out of.

"Eh, I don't really care..." Suigetsu shrugged, and Kiba raised an eyebrow.

Damn, it must have been _fucking_ good sex, to get Suigetsu to _not_ care which care they were taking - Suigetsu normally couldn't stand the way Sasuke drove.

* * *

"Let's drive my car!" Naruto proclaimed, already making his way towards his blue Mustang.

"Fuck no," Sasuke sneered, already following, "If we're taking your car, you better not put that fucking loud as shit or I'm slitting your throat." He snatched the keys out of Naruto's hands and threw the can at Kiba. "Let the Mutt drive."

"BUT-"

"Ah, put a sock in it," Suigetsu said in a drawl, pushing Naruto forwards. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and brought up the rear of their foursome. His amethyst eyes portrayed all the boredom he was feeling and they better fucking find something good to do or he was going to kick someone's ass.

Kiba had his wolfish grin on as he opened the driver's door, doubling the seat over and to get Naruto to sit on the back seats.

"FUCK NO. I GET SHOTGUN!"

"Too late," Sasuke said with a smirk, opening the passenger's door and taking his seat.

"FUCKING BASTARD I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

Suigetsu rolled his eyes, "Sit your ass down, dipshit!"

The two took their seats on the back; Kiba fixed the seat and got in after them, started the car and put on _good _music - ones that did not say "SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS" all the time. Or talked about sandwiches in the most disgusting ways... He rolled his eyes and began to drive.

"Fucking bastards," Naruto growled.

"I'm gonna fuck you up again, Dead-Last!" Suigetsu sneered.

"Will you _both _shut the fuck up?" Sasuke snarled.

Kiba decided he wanted them all dead.

* * *

Yes. He _definitely_ wanted them all dead. Naruto was still screaming obscenities in the back, Suigetsu was still violently trying to silence him, and Sasuke was still fiddling angrily with the radio dial.

Kiba sat back in the driver's seat, and gunned the engine. Could they _go_, already? "Where are we headed, losers?"

Sasuke answered him by rubbing his temples. "Somewhere we can shut the Dobe up, fuck."

"Boardwalk, then, in front of the mall?"

"Fine, whatever, I don't give a shit."

Kiba smirked. "You're such a fuck, Sasuke. Just kill the dude, already, and you'll have nothing to worry about."

Naruto, from the back, could only yell "I FUCKING HATE YOU _ALL_."

* * *

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.

.

* * *

"OH MY GOD. LOOK AT THOSE PRETTY JEANS!"

Ino was in paradise. There was no doubt about this; the mall was her best friend. It's like, she was the princess and this here gorgeous creation of mankind was her castle. She flailed. Quite literally flailed towards the shop, giggling like a complete maniac.

Oh, they had her size! Oh, they'd fit amazingly! Oh, her legs were going to look killer! Oh, oh, oh!

"OH MY GOD. LOOK AT THAT SHIRT! IT'LL GO AMAZINGLY WITH THESE JEANS!"

"Calm your horses down, Pig."

Sakura's words went through deaf ears - Ino was _in paradise_.

* * *

Karin stood between three of her best friends, and chuckled. Sakura was huffing at Ino's behavior, Ino was being her flaily self, and Hinata was... well, Hinata was giggling softly, and giving them all a Look that screamed "YOU ALL ARE IDIOTS, BUT I LOVE YOU DEEPLY."

Or at least, that's what Karin _thought_ it said. Even if it didn't, it didn't really matter, right then.

"Sakura, why do you even _try_ with her? She's ridiculous!" Karin told the other girl.

A glare pinched Sakura's face, and Karin could only laugh some more - Sakura looked like an angry fairy when she got mad. She huffed again, and Karin could only laugh and laugh.

"OI," Ino screeched back at them "C'MON, LET'S GO!"

_Ah, how the mighty have fallen_, Karin thought, and followed after Ino. It _was_ a very nice store, and it _did_ have very nice clothes, and _oh_, that _dress_ was just _totally_ pretty...

Hinata and Sakura sighed in unison and Karin joined Ino in the world of Shopping Paradise. They weren't going to be able to pull them out for a long, long, _long_, time.

* * *

Ino froze and she ogled.

"OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THOSE HEELS. LOOK AT THEM. I WANT THEM! I WANT THEM NAOW!"

She grabbed Karin by the arm and literally dragged the girl into the shoe shop. And then she started flailing all the more; this was better than Movie Friday! And what was best? She had her dad's credit card and she was going to shop till she quite literally dropped - or one of the other girls did because Ino was on a frapuccino high and she had The Power.

"I'd like these in purple - like the displays?"

And when the attendant left to find her her heels, Ino squealed.

"I'll look drop dead gorgeous in those!"

Karin grunted, "Aiyaa."

"NO. FLAIL WITH ME, KARIN. FLAIL." She turned to the red head and smirked evilly, "Orrrr, you can tell me about your latest lay. Is he hot? Is he good? Is he _hot_?"

* * *

Karin smiled, lazy and slow, and practically _felt_ the screech that came out of Ino. "Didn't you read my text? Hate sex. Yummy. Very, _very_ yummy. Kurenai is going to have a _bitch_ fit! Seriously, he did things to my body that I didn't even think were _possible_."

Ino, Hinata, and Sakura all stared at her. Ino was the one to scream "DETAILS, WOMAN, GIVE ME DETAILS!"

"We fucked on the island in my kitchen, amid the remnants of the Devil's Food Cake cake we were attempting to bake. We managed to save it, didn't set the house on fire, made another cake -Angel's Food, that time, and then jumped each other again. Somehow we made it up the stairs, and then we fucked _standing_ _up_ in the shower, with my leg over his shoulder. Then we almost fucked a third time in my front hall. And then I got to watch the elusive male walk of shame. It was amazing."

Karin watched their reactions with something between scientific fascination, and utter amusement. "True to their natures" did not even begin to cover how predictable her friends were, Karin thought. Ino flailed, and started asking questions at top speed; Hinata turned a lovely, brand-new shade of red that had not previously existed; and Sakura...

Sakura could only half-gape, and say "...Have you talked to a doctor recently? Actually, scratch that, have you talked to a _psychologist_? You are freakin' sex-obsessed!"

Karin smirked. "It was _damn_ nice to let go of all that tension, ladies. Like, I don't even _like_ him - he's just another booty call. And I can show you the bruises, if you want to see them."

* * *

That _lucky bitch_. Ino couldn't think of anything else - because that bitch was lucky as hell.

She really did _not _want to think about the last time she got _some_ because you know what? That douche was now a player of her own team - what did that say to a girl? What? It sucked! Sucked complete and major monkey balls. So Ino was damn right jealous at the moment and it was damn right justified.

"Well... what did he look like? I bet he musta been _hot_." A dreamy look took over her face and then she blinked. "You don't like him? You don't _like _him? Karin, the guy must be a fuckin' _Sex God,_ quite literally might I add, and you don't _like _him? Something's wrong with your brain. He must have banged you too hard."

By now, Hinata was as red as a cherry, looking as if she was going to faint at any minute. Sakura, though, stared at her two friends with a look that clearly said 'I-can't-believe-I-know-you-two'.

Ino smirked, "Well, if he's just another booty call... maybe we can share. Buddha knows I need-"

"Yeah, right, Pig!" Sakura called out with a smirk, "Knowing how things with that Kiba-guy are going you wouldn't even _consider_ banging another guy!"

Ino pouted and opened her mouth to snap back but...

"Why don't you just get _him _to bang you and back off of _my _booty call," Karin asked with a shrug and a deadpan look, watching as the attendant returned with Ino's shoes.

"I'm ignoring this abuse," Ino huffed.

* * *

Karin's deadpan look turned mischievous, and she plucked the purple shoes out of Ino's grip. "Oh, these _are_ pretty!"

"BITCH, GIVE THOSE BACK! MINE, MIIIINE!"

"HA!" Karin yelled right back. "_THIS_ is like sharing booty calls! JUST NOT DONE!"

"Okay, okay! Just give 'em back! They're TOO PRETTY, KARIN, THIS IS NOT _FAAAIR_!"

Without further ado, Karin tossed the pretty purple shoes back to Ino. Said girl caught them in midair, hugged them to her chest, and sent Karin a glare worthy of any Queen Bee Bitch. Stealing shoes was sacrilege to Ino - and Karin knew that.

"So, Ino, what did we learn today?" Sakura asked conversationally. It was at the point where she just let her friends squabble; Hinata was right, it was _way_ easier to just let them fight it out.

Ino clutched the shoes closer. "I learned that these shoes ARE GORGEOUS, AND THAT I MUST HAVE THEM. And that I also don't understand how your brain works, Karin, because I don't understand how you can _not_ like someone who fucked you so hard."

Karin rolled her eyes. Ino had such a one-track mind. Shoes, and who fucked who. Jeez. "The reason I don't like him is because... I don't know, I just don't. He grates me the wrong way, and half the time I want to strangle him. Or kick him. Or jump him. Yeah."

"YOU SO WANT HIM!"

Karin rolled her eyes a second time. "No, Ino, I want his _body_. Because that was yummy. Personality-wise, I wouldn't go near him with a ten-foot pole. That's how annoying he is!"

* * *

Ino narrowed her eyes as she untied her turquoise converses, slid them off and slid her socks off. "What, was he, like, a total jerk? Was he not gentle? Not even once? A bit? Nothing?"

She slid the purple pumps and stood and for the hell of it and for the laughs, began to walk like a model on the runway. She placed a hand on her hips, the other one resting at her side and began to walk; left in front of right, right in front of left, repeat.

"How do they look?"

The other girls stared; Ino was so beautiful. And this was her not trying - Blink 182 t-shirt, dark skinnies and turquoise converses. She looked good in anything she wore, be it sweats and a tank-top or her gorgeous outfits.

"You look great," Hinata said with a shy smile.

Ino grinned and took her seat, sliding the pumps off and replacing them with socks and converses. Those babies along with the skin-tight-ripped skinnies and that pretty violet blouse she just bought? She was going to look _killer_. She was going to make jaws _drop_. Ino giggled.

"I'm in the mood for some of Luffy's mozzarella sticks!" She called out as she went to go pay for her new babies.

* * *

"Luffy's sounds good. And... _Ino_~, he just rubs me the wrong way!" Karin stated.

It wasn't until three and a half seconds later that she realized what she'd said, and already, Ino was hollering. "OH, I'M SURE HE _DIDN'T_ RUB YOU THE WRONG WAY, CANDII! OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN RAVING ABOUT HIS ABILI- EEP!"

Karin turned bright red -it clashed magnificently and/or spectacularly with her hair- and sprinted after Ino, quite intent on tackling her gorgeous-model friend (yeah, every girl has one of these - they're so gorgeous, you want to hate them, but they're so nice, that you just _can't_) to the ground. "_Bitch_, please, don't you _start_ with me!"

Sakura giggled out "Karin, you totally walked into that one. Don't blame Piggy for saying things like that out loud. She can't help herself!"

The four girls left the shop - Karin and Ino were still screeching at each other, and Sakura could see that Hinata was twitching. Uh-oh. _That_ was never a good sign.

"Would you two _shut the fuck up_?" Hinata practically screamed, and Ino and Karin froze. Oh dear. Angry Hinata. They both cringed.

She was standing behind them, her hands on her hips, _steaming_ mad. "You two are _giving me a headache_, and if you don't _shut up_, there is _going to be blood_! _DO YOU UNDERSTAND_?"

Both girls nodded meekly, and Hinata huffed, before calming down, and returning to her normal self, psycho, bi-polar bitch that she was.

And all Sakura could do was giggle behind a hand placed over her mouth.

* * *

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.

.

* * *

"Hyuuga, I want ice-cream."

Tenten crossed her arms in front of her chest and turned to him, a pout on her lips. She was in the mood for a nice, big, dose of cookie-dough vanilla ice-cream. Ooh, with hot-syrup on top. Oh! And caramel. Ooh... That sounded... so damn delicious.

See, Tenten loved ice-cream. Ice-cream was _her _best friend - forget what Karin proclaimed... she was delusional anyway. Ice-cream... It was _not _comfort food. It was _food. _And Tenten loved food. Okay, yes, she ate like a complete fat ass but, hey, at least she maintained her 112 pounds physique! That's what jogging, sparring, swimming and volleyball did for ya!

...And that son-of-a-shit-muffin was ignoring her.

She didn't like that. Not one bit.

She pulled at his shirt's sleeve. "Hyuuga! Don't pretend as if I have not spoken! You know I hate that! I want ice-creammmm!"

"I don't care."

Neji wondered when he was going to understand that speaking against Tenten's wishes got him into deep, deep, _deep _shit.

She was quiet and that was _not _good. Tenten's silence was not golden - it was a sign. A sign that someone was about to die. A slow and painful death.

"I... Want... Ice-cream. That's all I want," she was speaking softly through gritted teeth, lips barely moving, "that's not so much of a request, is it? Ice-cream? Just a cone or two? That's all I want. A cone of ice-cream - WHY DO YOU DENY ME THIS YOU FRICKEN LOAD OF CRAPTASTIC MALE!"

He flinched and opened his mouth to speak but Tenten was going on a rant; arms waving around in the air, legs stomping on the ground, tanned cheeks turning rosy, doe-like-eyes narrowing - the whole package.

"Will you shut up?"

"Did you just-"

"We'll go get the damn ice-cream... just shut up." And he began to lead her to the small ice-cream shop on sixth and market.

Tenten did not move from her spot.

Neji sighed dejectedly. "Now what," he asked as he turned to look at her from over his shoulders.

"I don't want that ice-cream! I want the one from the Boardwalk!"

"That's hella far."

"But...But... I want it..."

Before she could go on another rant filled with much colorful words and very... poetic movements, Neji turned back around and headed towards the general direction of the Boardwalk. "Okay, okay. We don't need another episode."

Tenten grinned triumphantly and walked next to him, a skip in her stride.

"Wasn't it worth it - walking down over here? This ice-cream is dee-liii-cious!" She licked at the frozen dairy, growing excited when a clunk of cookie-dough was caught. Gah, she loved ice-cream. So much.

She blinked and noticed that... Neji didn't get any for himself. This had to be fixed. "Here, have some."

"I don't want any."

Tenten wouldn't have it. Ice-cream was like... like... sleep! It was needed! "Have... Some."

"I said I don't want any."

"I don't care! Have some, it's good! Ice-cream is good for the soul!"

"No."

She stopped from their trek back up the Boardwalk, her lips pursed. Neji stopped as well and stared at her, hands inside his slacks' pockets, hair dancing with the wind. He rose an eyebrow and that's all that he had time to do before...

...Tenten stuffed ice-cream into his mouth.

* * *

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* * *

Kiba turned Naruto's gaudy orange steering wheel (the thing was generally the embodiment of Naruto's personality - a horrible, bright orange, made of faux fur, with black tiger-fur-stripes all across it), and they went up the boardwalk.

It was still fall, still too cold to be out - the beach was empty, even as the sun was setting red across the ocean. It was a quiet night. How boring - the open-air mall was already emptying out. Kiba concentrated on the road - Naruto would kill him on the spot if something happened to the blue Mustang that was his baby.

But Kiba treasured cars like this too much to want to actually _hurt_ it.

But he slammed on the brakes when he caught a flash of a guy who happened to look _waaaaay_ too much like Neji - but only covered in ice cream.

Kiba nearly pissed his pants laughing. When Naruto blankly looked where Kiba was pointing - his arm was shaking. The whole car erupted into laughter; Naruto was not a quiet force by any stretch of the imagination.

Neji, outside the window, saw his friends.

He proceeded to resign himself to a life of never-ending humiliation.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa**: i may very well be drinking was is the world's most epic café - thank you, god, for peppermint schnapps (HAHA BEING EIGHTEEN IN CANADA = WIN) it also turns out that my anal side that does the obsessive compulsive cataloguing _really does not like sonya's slowness. __**ASGJHJKL.**_  
**les**: fuck yeah. THIS is why it's rated M. *grins* AND OMFG. GUY BONDING TIME EQUALS A HAPPY LES.  
**sonya**: i had nothing to do with this chapter, obviously. The Innocent One of AIW had more... positive, not-sexed-up things to do. . even so, les & sara pulled out all of the stops & i hope you were all blown away. ;)


	11. how to really bother someone via list

**dedication:** to writing orig!fic on the side (which is funnnnn. i like RushSimone. =3), to stupid math jokes (JAY-KAY) _**(insert from Saraa**_: EFF YOU, BETCH**_)_**, to making lists (& threatening people), & to just lovely reviews (EYE-ELLE-U ALL).  
**disclaimer:** based on what happened in chapter 481, do you _think_ we own Naruto?

**_from sonya:_** so we'd like to thank you all for your support! However, the last chapter received a few words that we found a bit more than just a little offensive. I know you probably mean well, but just because we write it doesn't mean we've experienced the events ourselves. We write it & we're glad it sounded believable, but please?  
Think before you review chapters with something we might consider offensive.  
Thank you for reading this note & I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapter! :)  
_**from les: **_Huh. So... I am still very offended. I actually refuse to work to my maximum awesomesauce-ness because of that. Hell, I'm not even updating any of my stories. I'm kinda pissed with all the snotnossing going around. I'm serious. So kookoocachoo. Also, I've actually never had sex before. So there. And neither has Sara. SO THERE. Anyway. Yeah. Move along, children. Fosho.  
**_from sonya (again)_: **so enjoy!**  
**(& we'll make sure les keeps working at awesometastic levels. |glares at les|)

* * *

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* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Why was six afraid of seven...?_

HI SNOWY-CHAN!

How are you?

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Because seven eight__ nine. Chomp. :]_

Hi Hokage.

I - I'm great. You?

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _...What a fatass. O_O_

I'm great, too. I just got home from my English class.  
I have to write this fricken essay about... damn, I forgot what it was about. D:

How are your friends that want to kill me?

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Do you blame six for being scared?_

You should... probably try remember that. Um, did you write it down somewhere?  
And if you didn't, uh, well, maybe you should?

They figure that I'll come to them if - if you hurt me.  
Superstar is dead set on police-ing us every time we, uhm, see each other.  
I- I'm sorry about them. I really, really am.

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Well. Yeah. Kinda. He should fight his fears._

I think I did write it down somewhere... But I think I lost that, too.  
Meh, I'll just ask the Teme here. He's here writing... said... essay. That ass.

...They scare me, Snowy-chan. Seriously.  
What makes them think I'd ever hurt you? I'd never do that! NOT EVEN IF I WAS CRAZY!

...Do you want to go get some ramen?  
You can even get Superstar to come coz she's so set on police-ing us.  
I'd bring the Teme, so it's okay.

What do you say?

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _I'd be afraid, too, if I were six... Really, poor nine..._

...Ne, you need to - to get more organized. You're almost as bad as... as Machete...  
Why on earth is he over to write an _essay_?

Don't worry, they're really not - well, they're not _that_ bad. They're mostly a lot of hot air.  
I know you won't hurt me. I trust you, but they don't.

I'd like that.  
I'll text her, and let her know. I'm sorry to put you through this, but she'll, uhm, never forgive me.  
Eh, the Teme? Isn't he, uhm, the one who... was always... rude?

But I'd still... still like that. =]

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Well. If seven's being a bully, six should man up and put him in his place._

Bah! I am _so _organized, Snowy-chan! It's not even funny how organized I am.  
...Because he's in my English class and we... came to my house right after....?

I suppose they're not since you're friends with them and all. But, still. A guy can get scared, right?  
Wow, it means a lot that you trust me Snowy-chan. I think I'm blushing coz the Teme's looking at me like if I'm weird.

Oh, it's okay. I think I can handle it. Just... make sure she doesn't bring any... poison or anything.  
The Teme? Oh yeah! He's rude in that quiet-because-i-have-nothing-to-say-to-you kind of way. So he won't be a problem.

Great!  
Let me know when you're ready! :D

-Hokage

* * *

Hinata flushed as she stared at the computer.

Did he even have_ any idea_ what he did to her? She sighed, and proceeded to press her forehead against the frosted glass of the desk she was sitting at. It was cool, and Hinata closed her eyes for a half second before pulling away, and looking down, to her right. Her phone was sitting on the desk, right there, and she was hesitant to reach for it.

Sakura would make a huge deal out of this - it was _Sakura_.

**From: Hina-chan  
To: Sak-ura  
Do you want to go out for ramen? Naruto-kun invited me, and I'm inviting you to prove that he's a nice guy. DO NOT BRING POISON/SOMETHING TO HURT HIM WITH IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.**

She hit 'Send', and watched as the little message disappeared into cyber space. Sakura would get, and would probably flip out - Sakura was good at flipping out over nothing. Not as good as Ino, and not even as _close_ to as good as Tenten, but she certainly held her own.

It was less then a minute later that the text was replied to.

**From: Sak-ura  
To: Hina-chan  
****fine. but if he hurts you, i reserve the right to hunt him down & stick his ramen full of night shade & arsenic**

Hinata sighed, and was tempted to bang her head against the cool glass. Sakura could almost compete with Tenten for insanity when it came to being a protective mother bear. She turned her attention back to Naruto's email.

She re-read it, and her face flamed.

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _But what if six is a small, scared girl, huh? And seven is freakin' scary and ginormous?_

If you were organized, uh, wouldn't you... not lose things...?  
No, I was just - ... just, uhm, never mind. I've confused myself...

Yeah, I - I don't blame you. They're just... insane.  
You, blushing? I can't imagine that. But yeah, I, uhm, do trust you...

I told her that if she wanted to come, she couldn't bring anything to hurt you with.  
Oh. He's... really a lot like my cousin. Only, well, my cousin... he's, uh, kind of socially retarded. He's never had many friends...?

Uhm, whenever you want to?  
I... uh, yeah.  
Superstar said she'd love to come.

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Then five will come and protect her. Because bullying is not cool._

...Well... Huh. You bring a very fierce argument, Snowy-chan.  
Wait... I'm confused now... Okay.... Err...Moving on....

Insane to the membrane? My friends are insane.  
Bahaha, and there's one that gets manhandled by a girl - like, literally. BAHAHA.  
Yeah, I was blushing... And... I trust you too, Snowy-chan!

Okay, cool. That... makes me a little less nervous. :]  
The Teme's not socially retarded... like your poor cousin. He's just... mildly arrogant and just introverted.

Alright, great!  
Let's meet up at Ichiraku's in... how about fifteen minutes?

See you soon, Snowy-chan!

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Six is wondering what five is like. Because six is not used to being protected._

Uhm... fierce? I - uhm, I don't... really... uhm...  
Yeah, let's.

Definitely insane to the membrane.  
My friends are the girls who _do_ the manhandling. Well, at least Machete does.  
...bluush. Thanks. =]

Don't worry, I won't let her hurt you.  
Promise.  
Isn't mildly arrogant and introverted usually part of the description of someone who's socially awkward?

Yup, I'm just leaving the house now...  
I'm picking Superstar up.

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Five is really cool. The kind of number that doesn't let others be treated badly. What about six?_

Okay - subject already forgotten!

...Wow, your friends are... really... Scary, and Insane. WITH capitals. Especially Machete. -shivers-  
You're welcome. :]

Okay, I feel much better now.  
Well... kinda, yeah. But he knows how to socialize. He just chooses not to. That's the difference.

I'm dragging the Teme out right after I send this.

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Six is ridiculously shy. Which would explain why she's so terrified of seven._

Yeah, completely. :]

They really... well, they can be scary and insane and a little bit odd and, uhm, well, mostly intense and over the top, but they _do_ mean well.

Well, as long as he can deal with my erratic, crazy best friend and her spastic tendencies...  
I'm totally cool with it.  
She'll, uhm probably _force_ him to deal with her.

See you in five!

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

_Sent from my Blackberry_~

* * *

"If you change the fucking song one more time, I swear I'm going to fucking kill you."

If it was one thing that got Sasuke really moody really quick, it was stupid, incompetent drivers such as the one they were stuck in back of. What sucked was that Konoha had a whole mob of them. And what's worse - he's driving with _Naruto_. Alone. The two of them.

That was never good.

Okay, sure, they had been best friends since forever - they grew up together and all that sappy, good stuff. But... Naruto was so... loud and obnoxious and, Sasuke swore on this, the kid had a Jesus-complex. Meanwhile, Sasuke was quiet and stoic and just...really quiet. They were complete opposites.

"Gah! What the fuck is this emo shit you have on this fucking iPod, Teme?!" Naruto skimmed the black iPod, trying to find_ something _lively in there. He shook his head, blue eyes shadowed by rebellious blond strands of hair. "I'm taking your iPod to my house and upgrading it, seriously."

"Oh my fucking god, this fucking son of a--" He stepped on the gas, tires screeching as they burned against the concrete road, and went around the slow driver; he crossed towards the lane of the up-coming cars, drove past the Slow Driver and then crossed back to the right lane, his speed never slowing down. The '78 black Camaro practically flew.

But Naruto was used to Sasuke's driving and didn't even bat an eyelash as he continued to search for a damn good song.

"What the fuck are we going to do at Ichiraku's anyway," Sasuke asked gruffly, one hand running through his hair and the other one on the steering-wheel.

"Eat, duh."

Sharp turn here. Fastfastfast driving there. Another sharp turn here. Some more fastfastfast driving there. One last sharp turn and a sharp park as well and they were at Ichiraku's.

And only then did Naruto find a song he actually liked. He fumed when Sasuke got out of the car. "DAMMIT, SASUKE-TEME!"

* * *

Hinata bit her lip, and stared out the mostly foggy window. Ichiraku's was warm, steamy, and quietly bustling with the activity of the last of the lunch rush. It was cold outside -Hinata had never liked winter-, and the windows of the infamous little ramen shop were covered in the tear tracks left by the inevitable condensation.

Sakura sat next to her, sending looks of deepest loathing at the door - every time someone would come in, she would quietly hiss, and doom glare whoever it was.

Hinata was tempted to get her friend a bowl of ramen, if only to shut her up. But that would be rude - she said she'd wait for Naruto and his, er, friend.

The bell dingled again, and Sakura's habitual soft hiss turned into an angry cat's hiss. That could only mean one thing. Hinata's head shot up, and her gaze met a pair of sky blue eyes, and a grin as the whole sky. Hinata had to bite her lip harder to keep her from losing herself in that straight blue gaze.

Then, Sakura's hiss turned into a deeply annoyed half-growl - apparently, that was Naruto's friend.

"Hey, Hinata!" he shouted across the restaurant.

Hinata could only smile.

* * *

Sasuke watched with blank eyes as Naruto's aura brightened up... all the more. He was practically a walking flash-light. His eyes flashed to the small little thing with the ink-colored hair and the silver-white eyes. Huh, the girl was practically a fairy-thing. So thin and fragile-looking; Sasuke bet all his money that she was short, too.

So that's the girl that captured Naruto's attention.

Bah.

And then his eyes caught the flash of pink. Sasuke's brow furrowed as his eyes clashed with green ones; that girl that got emotional with public bathrooms... Sakura.

_She _was friends with Fairy-Girl.

Sasuke sighed lowly and followed Naruto to the booth the two girls had occupied. Naruto slid in first, so he'd be face-to-face with Fairy-Girl. That left him sitting, not only _next _to the Dobe, but _in front _of the girl who got emotional in public bathrooms.

"So, Hinata-chan, who's your friend?"

'Chan'? Sasuke raised an eyebrow at that but spoke nothing as he looked at the wall above the two girls.

Fairy-Girl blushed, pale skin going pink. "T-this is one of my b-best friend, Sakura."

Her eyes flashed towards Sasuke. He pretended he didn't notice.

Naruto did, though. "This is Sasuke."

Fairy-girl smiled politely. Sasuke gave a curt nod and darted his eyes to her.

Tch. The Dobe's girlfriend.

* * *

Hinata sat serely, her hands folded neatly, nervously, in her lap. The boys had gone to the counter to order ramen, and Sakura was sitting next to her, sending more looks of deep, deep hatred towards the restaurant. They were sitting in the corner booth at the back of Ichiraku - nestled against the wall, it was the epitome of privacy.

"Hinata, he's going to _rape you_," Sakura whispered very seriously.

"Sak-ura, y-you sound l-like _Neji-nii_! _Do you w-want to sound like N-Neji-nii_, of _all_ people?!" Hinata murmured back, her smile plastered to her face. She really disliked it when Sakura went all Mother Bear on her - exactly what she was doing right then.

Sakura sat back with a huff, just as Naruto and the dark boy -wasn't his name... Sauce?- came back. The blond man was doing a rather magnificent balancing act - apparently he had wanted to prove to them all that he could carry all four bowls of ramen on his own.

Hinata gulped, and rushed to help him. As the two of them set down the many, many bowls of ramen on the tiny booth table.

Their fingers brushed, and Naruto sent her a brilliant grin that lit up his whole face like a lightbulb. Hinata felt herself go redder then a fire hydrant. He was _so pretty_. He slid to the far end of the booth, and patted the seat next to him.

Hinata went, her face flushed a lovely, rosy red.

She watched Sakura's eyes narrow into slits as the other boy -uhm, Sasuke?- slid into the seat next to her old friend. Hinata was deeply, deeply tempted to start giggling. Apparently, there was history there. Hm, why had she not been made aware of this history?

"Itadakimasu!" Naruto called loudly, and Hinata smiled at him before quietly beginning to slurp up her noodle.

Not five minutes later, Hinata realized he'd slipped his hand into hers.

She could barely eat, she was blushing so hard.

* * *

_She's so pretty_, was the dazed mantra going through Naruto's head. He wasn't even thinking about the ramen he was eating! That had to mean something, it just had to! And her hand in his? Perfection. It's like if her hand was meant to be there.

It was so small and fragile next to his big one. It almost made Naruto fear that he might break her. And he so didn't want that - not only because there were four crazy girls that could kill him, but also because... Because Naruto'd feel empty if she was to break. Wasn't it weird? How he felt like this for a girl that he just met? It was so crazy and surreal.

But... He did and that was the thing.

He chanced a glance her way and his tanned, scarred cheeks turned red. She was sooooo pretty.

And then he turned his attention to Sasuke-teme and the girl - so _she _was Superstar. Sakura; a girl that looked like... like... a fairy, or a pixie... or both. Or were they the same thing...? Bah! Whatever. Anyway. She looked like a fairy-pixie; big green eyes and pastel-pink hair. And from what he was noting, she was short too.

Naruto found it completely amusing how Sasuke-teme was sitting next to his pen pal... and didn't even know it. He pondered as he slurped on his noodles, and continued to hold Hinata-chan's hand; maybe he should tell Sasuke-teme this... And then he blinked and mentally shook his head.

Nahhhh, the Teme could figure it out himself. Naruto would just watch from the sidelines and laugh his ass off. Because that's what best friends do. Guys, anyway. Oh, whatever - maybe they don't, but still. No one said Sasuke's and Naruto's relationship was normal.

And then Naruto remembered the fragile-beautiful girl sitting next to him, and all thoughts of Sasuke-teme and Superstar and Sakura left his head.

He turned to look at her, blushed and looked down at his ramen right away.

Sooooo prettyyyyy.

* * *

Hinata was not very special. She was not particularly athletic (Karin), not very intelligent (Sakura), not drop-dead gorgeous (Ino), and not at all dangerous (Tenten). She just kind of _was_ - she just... sort of... _existed_.

Of course, she was kind of an artist - but only kind of. Staring at a finished mural brought an odd sense of accomplishment into her stomach, like butterflies.

Being in Naruto's presence was sort of like that.

Only the butterflies had morphed into some weird mutant bats, and everything outside of his sphere of influence blurred and melted into leaving her blind, deaf, dumb and stupid to everything else. It left her blind to the resturant around them; left her deaf to the clatter and clink of plates and the laughter from other patrons; left her mute to any form of coherence.

It also left her stupid and entirely ignorant to the looks of death Naruto was getting from Sakura, across the table.

* * *

Sakura had a few talents, among which were giving glares and coming up with creative methods of execution.

Her current task required both of her talents as well as taking advantage of her position at the hospital.

Slipping out the pen she kept in her pocket in case of emergencies, she started scribbling on the paper place mat. For once, she was thankful that the blonde dumbass was occupying her secretly-scary best friend's attention completely.

_List of Ways To Kill Someone In The Most Painful Fashion Possible In A Ramen Restaurant  
by Sakura Haruno_ **with comments by Sasuke Uchiha**

_o1. Pull his spleen out through his ears with chopsticks. _**(That'd be too messy. And will get too much witnesses to...witness.) **_(It's only messy to the incapable. Tch.) _**(Okay, Woman Who Can Do Anything.)**_ (You better believe it, Mr. Squirmy.) _**(How annoying.)**

o2. _Roleplay "Saw" with steak knives. _**(That's too obvious. Tch.)**_ (It's that blonde idiot. You think the police _wouldn't_ believe him capable of such stupidity?) _**(Give the Idiot some credit. He's not THAT stupid. And I don't think the cops would be stupid enough to believe it either.)**_(Who doesn't like roleplaying horror movies? Awe you scawed, you big baby?) _**(Scared of what? You? That's actually kind of funny.)**

_o3. Dissect his "brain" in the name of science to see the effects of ramen on its structure. Forget the anesthesia. _**(I have no words for a psychopath like you.)**_ (I want to be a neurologist. He's the usual case study. You're just boring.) _**(Whatever. I'm boring because I'm not a moron. How interesting.)**_ (Okay, back up the trolley over your stupid prettiness. Did you just call _me_ a moron? Do you want me to dissect _your_ head to find out if that stick up your ass got lodged in there?) _**(No, I didn't call you a moron, though I should of. I was talking about Naruto. And this is me being afraid of you. Not.)**

_o4. Make him high on laughing gas so he dies laughing. _**(Okay. This is the lamest one you've thought of so far. You can't die laughing, Sakura.)**_ (You say that because you've never laughed in your life. So cry me a river, build a bridge, Get Over It.) _**(You just met me...I don't know how many days ago, and you know that I haven't laughed. This is also interesting.)**_ (Let it suffice to say I have had very bad experiences with guys like you and I know the signs. End of discussion. Go fuck a tree, Sasu-cakes.) _**(Don't call me that.)**

_o5. Arsenic in his ramen with a pinch of cyanide for garnish. _**(Hn. You're getting better at this. Although, whatever the hell you said just flew right past me.)**_ (You've never cooked in your life. Are you a spoiled rich kid or something?) _**(I've cooked before. What the hell is up with your assumptions?) **_(Oh, so you _are_ a rich kid. You didn't bother denying it. You prick from hell. BEGONE. And I'm not making assumptions. These are my observations. WHAT KIND OF GUY JUST KISSES A GIRL AND THEN RUNS/SKATES AWAY?!) _**(A guy that regrets doing it. And you don't see me throwing the fact that I have money in your face do you? You're the one that brought it up.)**

_o6. Pretend there is a fly on his head and hit him over the head with the wok in an attempt to hit the bug. _**(....No...Words. No. Wait. That might be stupid enough to work.) **_(It's a ramen restaurant. What the fuck is deadly in here? Well, besides me, of course.) _**(Sure, okay. Whatever makes you feel better.)**_ (I hope to Buddha that you end up on the wrong end of that wok.) _**(Fascinating.)**

_o7. Drown him in his ramen. Drowning is supposed to be the most painful way to go, right? _**(...Why don't you take him to the backroom and do the Chinese-Torture-Method?)**_ (Because that's fucking creepy-scary.) _**(And isn't that what you want? Quite contradictive.)**_ (I don't want to scare him off. I want to _murder_ him if he hurts Hinata even if it's unintentionally through his stupidity. Buddha, I hope it's not catchy from sitting at his table.) _**(What makes you think Naruto's going to hurt her? Just look at the idiot, he wouldn't even hurt a fly.)**

_o8. Kick him where the sun doesn't shine so hard that he dies from the pain. _**(Fuck no. Even I can't let you put him through that.)**_ (Fine then. I'll kick _you_ in the balls and then go after him. Hope you weren't too interested in having children.) _**(You can try, I suppose. But you won't get to do anything. You have a blast trying to be like some sort of superhero, don't you?)**

* * *

Sasuke stood from the table, ignored Naruto (though, that idiot was probably too engrossed into silver-white eyes) and walked out of the ramen-shop.

That damn annoying girl.

Who did she think she was? Assuming things about him and crap; seriously, that angered Sasuke more than... than... It angered him greatly! She was like Itachi; that was why Sasuke preferably ignored his older brother because he was always assuming things that were beyond stupid. But this girl... she only met with him around four times, spoke with him around three and suddenly she knew everything about him.

_That _angered him all the more.

As he walked down the sidewalk, towards his car, Sasuke was practically blowing steam out of his ears. Speaking of said ears... the tips were probably cherry-red; they were burning to the point where you could fry something on them. Yeah, they were red.

Not that Sasuke cared.

He was _pissed_.

* * *

Where was the asshole going? Sakura stared after him. Looking at Hinata and Naruto, they were too into each other to notice if she slipped away quietly.

That was how she found herself running after that pretty attractive, pretty annoying boy whose red ears she could see from half a block away. She caught up to him pretty quickly. Being the star sprinter of the high school team had its advantages.

"Where do you think you're going?" she screamed after him, stopping two cars down from where he was.

He stopped walking.

"What?" The word was short and terse.

"God, you're planning on leaving me with those two? And speaking of those two- if you really think Naruto is that stupid and such, why are you his friend? I mean, you're not really trying to protect him. All you were saying was that my ideas weren't really effective. Do you _want_ me to kill him or something? Because Hinata is my _friend_ and I don't care if I land in prison because I have to avenge her because _she's my friend_. Well, I'd prefer not to go to jail, of course, but..."

Sakura's voice trailed off as she tried to remember what she was trying to say.

"Anyways- are you _really_ Naruto's friend? And why are you so angry at me? You piss me off so-so-so much. I swear- _no one_ makes me as angry and confused as you do. Would you- would you just stop being _so damn confusing_?"

* * *

He was glaring.

Not just his normal glares; not the ones he reserves for the Mutt, Sharkbait or the Dobe; not even the glare he gives Hyuuga. No. This glare was stronger.

Sasuke concentrated on the short pink-haired girl that got emotional with public bathrooms, molars grinding together as his attempt to keep back the snarling and the sneering and the need to make her _go away_. Because seriously, she was damn annoying. For example _how _was _he _confusing _her _if he was just living his life as it went. He didn't plot anything to maker her feel the way she did. And another thing! His relationship with Naruto was none of her business; he didn't go around asking her why she was doing too much in trying to protect Fairy-Girl. He didn't ask her if she really thought she could protect her through out all her life.

"It's none of your damn business," he finally hissed through his teeth. "None of that is your damn business." He furrowed his brow and narrowed his eyes. "You confuse yourself; don't blame me for it. I haven't done anything to you."

He turned away and began to walk away again.

Stupid girl that got emotional in public bathrooms.

* * *

Sakura didn't know why her eyes felt like they were burning. Blinking a lot, she bleakly wondered why the world was getting blurry and why she was so interested in him in the first place. He wasn't sweet and he didn't make her laugh except in derision and_ he just __looked so much like bloody _gay_ Sai._

"Are you gay?"

He stopped in his tracks. Not bothering to look back, he said harshly, "How many times do I have to say no? There's only so many ways I can say it."

Reaching down, she picked up a pine cone- when did they come about in the middle of winter anyway?- and threw it at him after he started walking again.

She ran up to him and forced him to turn around.

"_Say it_? God, is that what they call kissing nowadays? Look here, _Buddy_: the last time I checked, _forcing a kiss on a girl_ is not _saying_ anything. Other than you're a horny guy who doesn't care who he ends up in bed with. Say it. With words. There are so many words to use: why can't you use them? I'm not asking that you go out, get some chick pregnant, and marry her and be a good husband. I'm just asking so I know who _you_ are. If you can't use language, how am I supposed to believe you?"

Looking him in the face, she let him go before walking away. "I have to deal with way too many bloody guys who like skittles," she muttered to herself. "Maybe I should just give up."

* * *

Sasuke wasn't one to really care about what girls, guys or anyone for that matter, thought of him. He didn't know them, he wouldn't know them, nothing. So he didn't care what they thought.

And that's why he didn't go after Sakura like any other guy would, he didn't go and try and talk to her like any other guy would, he didn't get affected by her words like any other guy would. He just turned around and walked back to his car. She could believe what she wanted to believe he didn't care. At all. Actually, there was no possibility of him not-caring any more.

He got into his precious '78 Camaro, stuck in the key, turned it and the car roared to life. And living up to the crazy driving Suigetsu hated, He burned the tires to the concrete-road and drove off at a veryeryvery fast pace.

Sakura and her words were left in the dust.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Hinata looked up, slightly dazed. Wow. This was new and nice and kind of fluttery and, _wow_, she really didn't even have words to describe the kind of amazing that this was.

Because Hinata was usually the overlooked one. She looked up, her head spinning, and directed her gaze towards where Sakura had been sitting not - not - not... She gasped as she realized. It had been _half an hour_. Although she could think was '_holy crap, Sakura is going to **kill** me_'.

Hinata scrambled for her phone.

There were about eight trillion messages from Sakura.

**From: Sak-ura  
To: Hina-chan  
where are you? & why did you make me come? you're a BAD FRIEND.**

**From: Sak-ura  
To: Hina-chan  
hinata, i'm not kidding, i want to go home. BAD FRIEND.**

**From: Sak-ura  
To: Hina-chan  
please pick up your cell and stop being lovesick, it's disgusting.**

**From: Sak-ura  
To: Hina-chan  
pick. up. your. phone. BAD FRIEND.**

**From: Sak-ura  
To: Hina-chan  
BAD FRIEND.**

**From: Sak-ura  
To: Hina-chan  
BAD FRIEND.**

**From: Sak-ura  
To: Hina-chan  
BAD FRIEND.**

Hinata sighed, and stared at the Blackberry screen. Oh dear. She had her work cut out for her.

* * *

Naruto blinked and shook his head. Cerulean eyes shooting towards Sakura-and-Superstar-who-happens-to-be-the-same-person and Sasuke-teme sat... And their spots were empty. Naruto could do nothing but blink again and ponder.

He took his iPhone out and almost grumbled aloud as he searched for 'Teme'.

**From: Narunoodles  
To: Teme  
dude. where in the fucking shit-muffins are you?!**

**From: Teme  
To: Narunoodles  
Fuck off, Dobe. I'm going home.**

**From: Narunoodles  
To: Teme  
DUDE YOU CAN'T DO THAT, LIKE, WTF. WHERE'S SAKURA-CHAN?!**

**From: Teme  
To: Narunoodles  
Don't know, don't care. And I'm already here so fuck. off.**

**From: Narunoodles  
To: Teme  
you fucking suck, teme. you suck fucking zebra-balls.**

Naruto sighed and ran a hand through his blond hair. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. Knowing him, which he did - like the palm of his hand, he'd like to add, Sasuke probably had some sort of argument with Sakura and ran off. Oh jeez. Why did Naruto even bother with that damn Teme.

He turned to the fragile-girl next to him and couldn't help but smile at her. "I guess I'll walk you to your car, Hinata-chan!"

* * *

Hinata smiled, and tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. "I-I'd like that, N-Naruto-kun."

She ducked her head, and flushed when he slung an arm around her shoulders. They walked out of Ichiraku in companionable silence. Hinata could feel her phone buzzing angrily in her pocket, but she ignored it - Sakura ditched, she could wait.

The twosome walked out to Hinata's car - one of Neji's souped-up hand-me-downs.

Hinata watched Naruto wrinkle his nose. "I-Is something w-wrong, Naruto-kun?"

* * *

Naruto knew this car.

Yup, he knew it.

He rode on it once when he, the Mutt, Sharkbait and the Teme were too smashed to drive (and Sasuke, up to this day refuses that he was drunk as fuck. Stupid Teme.) and the Barbie Doll had to come and pick them up, prissy and totally temperamental that they woke him from his sleep to talk gibberish to him over the phone, with Sharkbait and the Mutt singing in the background and Sasuke just... standing there and trying to take the phone out of Naruto's grip.

That memory always made Naruto laugh his ass off.

But not this time. Because that was the Barbie-Doll's car and just why was Hinata-chan driving it?

He turned to her, blue eyes showing his utter confusion.

"You know the Barbie-Doll, Hinata-chan?"

* * *

Hinata blinked. Barbie Doll? Who was that?

"T-this was m-my cousin's car..." she told him softly. "He got a n-new one re-recently... so I g-got his old o-one. I always l-loved this c-car."

Hinata stood at the dirver's door, and ran her fingers over the worn handle. Se didn't want this incredible date to be over yet. No way - she was _not_ ready to leave yet. She shot a glance up at him, uncertain. What if he - didn't like her, or something like that? Hinata had a feeling she really wasn't his type; he seemed like the kind of guy who normally dated girls like - well, girls like Sakura. The loud, happy type of girl.

Hinata's cheeks turned dark, dark red, and an odd, slightly scary sense of _flutter_ well up in her stomach. Was it so wrong to _want_ to spend a little more time with him? (Ino, in her head, screeched "_RAPE HIM, HINA, RAPE HIMMM_!!!!")

Hinata tried to kick the little Ino-voice out of her brain (_faaaaaaail_, muttered the Ino-voice), and looked straight up at Naruto. He was staring back at her, an adorably confused look on his face.

She mentally grabbed every last bit of that _flutter_ in her stomach -was that _courage_?-, and looked up at him. "D-do you, uhm, m-may be want t-to, uh, walk for a-a bit? I m-mean - uh, y-you don't h-have to-!"

He grinned down at her, all sun and happiness and light and everything Hinata had ever wanted. _Wow_, was he cute, or what?

* * *

Naruto's heart was fluttering and his tummy was doing summersaults at the offer. Oh god, he felt like those school girls did in the movies when some hunk asked them out. And it kinda made Naruto's manly ego deflate if just bit. Because that was totally not manly.

But he grinned at her and waved her over, wrapping his arm around her frail shoulders again she did so. "Hinata-chan, I'd love to go on a walk with you! What makes you think I wouldn't!"

"U-u-um. Well... I..."

Naruto laughed and shook his head. "You don't have to be all shy around me Hina-chan!" And he turned to look away from her to hide his own blush.

He led her down the street, their destination unknown. But that was okay for Naruto because Hinata was really pretty and spending time with her was, like, almost better then ramen.

* * *

Walking down a side-walk, hand-in-hand with the boy who had practicall walked out of a dream, Hinata was on Cloud Nine.

Really.

Seriously.

And Neji was probably going to kill her, which was kind of not cool -or maybe Naruto, which was even less cool- because dating, in Hinata's family kind of... wasn't allowed... (the girls used it as an excuse to castrate any and all men who came near her).

But Hinata... Right then, Hinata _didn't even care_. Her fingers were curled through Naruto's, and they were very much wrapped around each other (they passed a couple of little old ladies, both of whome sighed, and murmured "Ah, young love..." - Hinata flushed all the way up her face, and clung a little closer to his arm).

Wow, she felt _pretty_. Was this what Ino felt like _all the time_? No wonder she was constantly flirting around (well. She'd kind of stopped flirting around - and _that_ was because of Naruto's friends Kiba, if Hinata rememberd correctly, but whatever).

She looked up at him (_damn_ her shortness - Hinata had never liked her tiny stature), and blink-blush-blinked to realize that he was staring at her.

* * *

Their eyes locked and Naruto's face heated up to the point where frying an egg was quite possible. He cleared his throat and grinned at her, "The Bar--Neji's going to kill me for this; but frankly, I don't really care. It's worth it."

She blushed and looked away. "N-Neji-nii is... B-Barbie-Doll?"

"Yup," He made a 'pop' sound at the 'p'. "So listen Hinata-chan, I like you a lot," --he watched her blush at this-- "let me tell you about Sasuke-teme and what is going on between this whole thing."

Hinata's silver-white eyes widened. "I'm n-n-not sure I like where this is going..."

Naruto only grinned at her. "Sasuke-teme is Sakura-chan's pen pal." He heard Hinata gasp at this part. "That's why I kind of not called him by his usual nickname in front of her because she'd know. See, this whole project... well... it's..."

He trailed off and Hinata turned to look at him, soft pearly eyes meeting his. "I-i-it's alright, N-Naruto-kun," she whispered, "you c-c-can tell me...anything."

Naruto remained silent as he stared at her for a minute and then some. She was so damn pretty. "Well..."

* * *

Hinata stared up at him, stars in her eyes. He was _devious_.

"I-I... I h-have no w-words. I j-just..." Hinata could only smile. He was setting his best friend and her best friend up. She only kind of _loved_ him. This was entirely amazing. Hinata wanted to study her nails the way Karin would when presented with a delicious-sounding dilemma. But given the choice - studying her nails, or staying curled up in Naruto's arms.

They had ended up sitting at the waterfront, on the boardwalk - it was only around the corner from Ichiraku's. It was sunny, and cold - that bitter kind of cold that whipped colour into one's cheeks the minute one was left outside for more then five minutes. Hinata tucked her hands into Naruto's coat pockets - his hands were in there, and he just _exuded_ heat. "S-so... what do w-we do?"

He shrugged, and pulled her a teensy bit closer. Hinata didn't even know that was _possible_. She was practically sitting in his lap, her legs thrown over his (she was really, really trying to keep her blush to a minimum - it was _not working_). Together, they sat and watched the late afternoon traffic rush up and down the boardwalk.

"Let's leave 'em alone, whaddayasay, Hinata?" he asked her, his face lighting up in that ridiculously adorable grin.

"I- I think yo-you're right. C-could I l-let the other girls k-know? I-Ino's been dy-dying to s-set her up with _s-someone_."

He ruffled her hair a little. "For sure, Hina-chan."

* * *

Naruto blinked, "Just make sure it doesn't leak out too much - I've been doing a good job at keeping it on the dee-elle for so long."

She nodded, "Mhmm!"

He looked out towards the beach, staring and staring and staring at the horizon and wondering nonsense-things that just... really didn't mean anything right now. Because Hinata was here and she was the only thing that mattered at the moment. She was... She was... Oh so very pretty that it took all of Naruto's will power to not... hug her to death or maybe even kiss her to death.

Just being around her made him warm and fuzzy andandand... He smiled bashfully and blushed. "You make me feel funny," he murmured, a complete and utter contrast to his usual loud voice.

"U-u-um... What...?"

But he didn't back down because he was _Naruto _and Naruto never backed down from anything. "You make me feel funny. But it's a good funny... You make me... feel... fuzzy..."

"F-fuzzy?" she giggled out.

"Yeah," he rubbed at his neck. "Fuzzy."

Hinata blushed andandand--

"Is it alright if I kiss you?"

* * *

Hinata bit her bottom lip. Okay, she'd only been waiting for those words for about three weeks - pretty much as long as they'd known each other face-to-face. Hi, dream boy, much? (_Okay, Ino-voice that was quite enough out of you, miss_, Hinata told herself firmly.)

He was sososososo close. Hinata could see the ring of dark, midnight blue right around the edge of his iris', the tiny flecks of silver that shot through the sky blue; she could feel his breath on her throat. _Ohgodohgodohgod_.

"It's o-okay," Hinata managed to whisper. _Donotfaintdonotfaint**do**not**faint**_, Hinata's non-existent cyniscism reminded her pounding heart.

Naruto pulled her up the rest of the way, until she _was_ sitting on his lap. Hinata could feel herself shaking. He tilted his head up; he very, very gently slid his hand behind her neck (Hinata could feel the rough calluses on his fingers, and shivered), and pulled her down towards him. Their lips were less then an inch apart.

"I'm gonna kiss you now," he told her softly.

"'Kay," she breathed.

He tilted his head up just a little more, and gently, carefully, soft as down, pressed his lips against hers. Hinata could only kiss him back as fireworks went off behind her eyes.

_Wow_.

* * *

Gentle. Gentle.

Be gentle.

Go slowly.

Be gentle.

Go slowly.

Naruto barely moved his lips against hers, deciding that feeling them pressed against hers felt...amazing. His eyes were closed, mind concentrating on this marvelous feeling he was feeling; those bright shining lights he saw and the fuzzy feeling growing only fuzzier.

And when he slowly-gently-slowly-delicately moved his lips to capture her bottom lip in between his, Naruto swore he saw more than fireworks. And when he began to move his lips against hers, something told Naruto that.... something wasn't right.

His eyes snapped open and...

...He was sure he was going to die soon.

* * *

Hinata's vision was going red.

And everything was getting blurry.

In Sakura's words: _oh, fuck no_.

Hinata felt herself losing conciousness. All she managed to whisper was "I'm so so-sorry, N-Naruto-kun..."

And then everything went black.

* * *

Naruto went stiff, eyes as wide as saucers.

_Oh my god, I killed Hinata-chan. Oh my fucking god I am going to die ten times over. Oh my fucking god I am a dead man. Oh fucking fuck-muffins what do I do now?! _

Almost robotically, Naruto poked at her pockets, searching for the car keys she had. When he found them, he picked her up off the ground (ohgodhekilledher) and carried her, bridal-style, back to the car. Naruto struggled, once he got there, to get the backdoors open (a random douche passed by and stared at him with a 'what-the-fuck-you're-a-rapist' look. Naruto had to sneer at him to make him go away); but once he did, he gently laid the unconscious girl down, clossing the door and going around to the driver's seat.

He nervously drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, bright blue eyes blank as he tried to get a hold of himself and figure out what he should do - where should he take her? Definitely not her house; a mad Neji _and _a mad daddy was _not _something he'd like to see. Not the Mutt's place, his mom'd bitch slap him for being so...so... evil or something like that. Sharkbait'd just laugh his ass off and not be any kind of help; and Sasuke-teme was in a very bad mood for some reason.

Then, Naruto's eyes brightened as he remembered something: his mother was at work. She wasn't at home.

So what he did was start the ignition and drive towards his house.

And pray Hinata-chan was not broken or something.

* * *

It didn't take long for Hinata to start coming around. The thrum of the car beneath her quickly brought her back to being concious. She blinked slowly, and carefully opened her eyes, pressing a hand to her forehead as she did so.

Hinata did a quick area check - what the hell, how did she get _into_ a car? She blinked at the driver - Naruto was sitting there, his fingers clunched tightly around the wheel. He looked more then a little bit panicked.

"N-Naruto-kun?" she asked.

He shot her a surprised glance, and gasped out, relief written all over his face "Hinata-chan! You - You're okay! I thought you _died_!"

Hinata flushed. "I- I- N-Naruto-kun, I told y-you! It's j-just that I'm sh-sh-shy... Uhm, could you ke-keep your eyes o-on the road?"

* * *

He blinked.

"Huh...? OH!"

So fast, that it was probable he got a whiplash, Naruto turned back around and focused on driving. Okay, she was alive. Thank The Man Up There for that. Oh god, he was going to live. He wasn't going to be killed by four crazy powerpuff girls and two demons! HE WAS GOING TO SURVIVE.

Naruto almost cried tears of joy.

"I'm taking you to my house so you can cool off a bit, okay?"

The girl hummed and Naruto resumed to drive towards his home. And when he _did _get to his house, Naruto's sapphire eyes narrowed when he saw a silver Corvette parked on his driveway.

This was not good.

* * *

Hinata slipped out of the back of Naruto's dark blue Mustang, a little bit confused. "Uhm, where a-are we?"

Naruto's eyes were still narrowed. "My house. Hinata-chan, wait here. I'll be righ back!"

Hinata blinked at him. Wha-? What was going on? Hinata blinked, and wrinkled her nose as he sprinted off. Okay then... She pulled out her phone; she needed to let the other girls know Naruto's plans. Setting Sakura and Sasuke up was ging to take time, and probably a lot of gentle prodding.

**From: Hina-chan  
To: Candii, I-no, Tenten  
Ladies. We have to set Sakura up. Ino, you've already met the kid... Sasuke... I haven't seen her so fired up since before Sai. DON'T LET HER KNOW WE'RE SETTING HER UP.**

Hinata sent it off with a small smile. There. That would not only get their attention; it would get them to _help_ her. Karin loved secrets, Ino loved setting people up, and Tenten... well, Tenten was Tenten. And the fact was, with as much blackail as they had on Tenten (which was not limited to, but comprised of: pictures of her in a fairy suit, rocking out to the Spice Girls; and a drunken confession or two, caught on tape), they could get her to do pretty much whatever they wanted.

Hinata stood quietly, and wondered where on earth Naruto had gotten to.

* * *

Naruto stomped inside his house, eyes narrowed.

"YOU."

Suigetsu looked up from his ramen and blinked his amethyst eyes in surprise. "Me...?"

The fair haired teen (dressed in a black t-shirt, dark skinnies and black converses) was sitting on a barstool, on the island of Naruto's kitchen, eating ramen. _His _ramen. _HIS RAMEN._ Naruto was almsot ready to scream out bloody murder but he controlled himself; HIS RAMEN, THO'!

"What're you doing here?"

Suigetsu stopped from stuffing his mouth with some more of the noodles. "...I was helping your mom clean the house, doofus. And then I got hungry - your mom left twenty minutes ago for work. She said there's some lasagna in the oven."

"IF THERE IS LASAGNA IN THE OVEN WHY ARE YOU EATING _MY _RAMEN, SHARKBAIT?!"

"...Because I was in the mood for ramen...?"

"GAH! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!"

"Whoa, whoa! Dead-Last don't jump on---FUCK THAT'S MY LEG YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

"...U-u-um... Na-Naruto-kun...?"

* * *

Hinata blinked at the two boys wrestling on the ground. Okay. That was kind of _not_ what she'd been expecting.

They both froze, and looked up at her. Naruto's face coloured bright red, but the other boy just started to grin. He stood up (left Naruto on the ground, in the dust), and took a bow. "Hello there, miss. I'm Suigetsu? What might your name be, beautiful?"

Hinata turned darker red then Naruto.

The white-haired man in front of her took a step towards her.

Hinata flushed darker red, and let out an epped "Uhm, c-could you not... st-stand so close?"

He grinned largely at her, and Hinata found out that she was little bit more then terrified.

* * *

Suigetsu's grin turned into a smirk as something...interesting...passed through his mind: this was the shy little thing that Naruto was almost falling for.

He checked her out; long ink-colored hair, silver-white eyes (...huh. Hyuuga's relative. Interesting. BLACKMAIL.) and she was so tiny and...Suigetsu almost had a hard time teasing her because he'd feel like such a molester. But he'd tease her. Just to get under Naruto's skin.

"You scared, Tinker Bell?"

He watched the frail girl turn redder than she already was... if that was possible.

"GET AWAY FROM HER, SHARKBAIT."

Naruto stood up and stomped towards them, pushing Suigetsu out of the way. He was pouting, yet glaring at his friend at the same time. _Mineminemineminemine. "_BACK THE FUCK OFF, BETCH."

Suigetsu laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "Relax, moron." His attention turned back to the meek little thing. "You must be the Dead-Last's precious Snowy-chan. He goes on and on about you."

Hinata's blush...deepened.

"SUIGETSU SHUT THE FUCK UP."

Suigetsu blinked, "Huh, so you're Toots's friend, too, aren't you?"

Naruto stopped and turned to Hinata and then back to his friend. "Who? Oh your penpal - the girl you fucked?"

Hinata 'eeped'.

"Dude, there's a lady in the room," Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

Naruto turned to Hinata and wrapped an arm around her waist, fear that she'd faint again returning on full force. Last thing he wanted was for Sharkbait to witness him break her!

* * *

Hinata hid her face in Naruto's collar. She knew she was probably blushing her face off. She counted to ten in her head to calm herself, and took two deepdeepdeep breaths, as well (this failed; the scent of cinnamon and aftershave that was wafting off of Naruto's throat and into her nose was beffudling, and did the opposite of calming her down).

She sighed quietly, and kept her face hidden in Naruto's shirt. _Okay, breathe Hinata, breathe, no, do **not** get intoxicated - so what if cinnamon is just... so... good..._

"Hina-chan? You okay?"

"I- I'm fine, N-Naruto-kun... I'm j-just fine..." she murmured.

Hinata had a feeling that Naruto was giving Suigetsu -that _was_ his name, right?- an evil look. She could feel the low, dangerous growls that seemed to be working their way out of his chest; they were rippling through her body. She shivered.

* * *

Suigetsu raised his hands in front of him as a defense mechanism.

"Hey, I was just sitting and eating my ramen, minding my own business. You came and attacked me!" He turned to the bowl - upside down now and ramen completely...wasted - and sighed. That was some good ramen he had made. Stupid Dead-Last. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "I'm heating up the lasagna. And you're not gettin' none. Tinker Bell could have some, tho'." His ice-purple eyes darted to the girl, "Would ya like that, Tinker Bell?"

He heard her muffled 'eep' and rolled his eyes, turning around to turn the oven on and then walked to the bowl. He sighed again at the sight of the ramen.

And then he heard Naruto growl.

"Down boy."

He washed the dish, cleaned the island and the floor and fixed the barstool. See, normally he'd give a rat's ass about his own kitchen - but this was Kushina's kitchen and leaving it dirty was like a death sentence.

Naruto watched his friend with narrowed eyes and pouted once Hinata pulled away from him. "I'm getting some of that lasagna, Sharkbait!"

"Yatta, yatta." Suigetsu drawled. He went to the fridge and turned back to Hinata with a grin. "Would you like something to drink?"

"U-um..." Hinata bit at her bottom lip, "Sp-sprite will...um...be nice."

Suigetsu nodded and fetched a can of Sprite, a can of Coke and a can of orange soda. He handed Naruto the orange soda ("OH PRETTY!"), Hinata the Sprite ("here you go, Tinker Bell." "Nghh.") and kept the coke to himself.

And then they waited for the lasagna to heat up.

* * *

Hinata quietly thanked technology for existing. She was sitting in Naruto's living room, sipping the ice-cold Sprite, and frantically texting the girls.

**From: Hina-chan  
To: Candii; Sak-ura; Tenten; I-no  
HELP ME. HELP ME. HELP ME, OR I'M GONNA DIE.**

_Please, please, please someone, **pick up your phone**_, was all Hinata could silently pray.

**From: Sak-ura  
To: Hina-chan  
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA. YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.**

**From: Candii  
To: Hina-chan  
Hina, Ino + me are at dance. Will txt you later.**

When Tenten didn't reply, either (the other two replies were too pointless to even count), Hinata decided she hated them all, and waited awkwardly on the couch. Her eyes drifted to the racks of DVDs that lined the walls - there must have been hundreds of them, simply stacked in neat rows. She got to her feet, and went to run her fingers along the spines.

She blinked. There were actually a _lot_ of good movies there. Sure, there was the regular gore-and-horror movies (Hinata shuddered, and passed those ones by quickly), but there was also a bunch of... old-school chick-flicks. Hinata gigglede to herself. That was probably from Naruto's mother - Naruto didn't seem the type to watch Clueless.

"You wanna watch a movie?" asked a voice from behind her.

"Eep!" Hinata half-shreiked, and whipped around.

* * *

Naruto's eyes widened and his hands shot up in a defense mechanism.

"Whoa, whoa, Hina-chan, it's just me! Calm down please! Don't faint!" His blue eyes were wide with terror. After she fainted on him because of their kiss, Naruto just couldn't take any chances with her fainting or anything similar. Becase you know what? Neji would kill him.

And something told Naruto that Sasuke-teme, the Mutt and Sharkbait weren't going to defend him - but rather, laugh their asses off.

"U-u-um. Naruto-kun! I...I wasn't going...I...Um..."

Naruto couldn't help but smile and wrap an arm around her shoulders. "It's okay, Hinata-chan. I... am just a bit jumpy. I don't want you to faint on me again. I could, like, die. Or something."

She blushed.

"So what movie would you like to see?"

And then the smell of lasagna came to him and a big, goofy grin came to his lips.

"Let's get some lasagna and then we watch whatever you'd like, okay?"

Hinata smiled and gave a slow, shy nod. "O-okay."

* * *

There were really a lot of movies. Uhm, what would be something that they -the three of them, Hinata mentally amended- could watch together? Not anything scary - just, just, just _no_. Just _no_.

But she gulped, and began pulling a few movies she knew out - P.S. I Love You (passably her all-time favourite movie), Saw I and II (she handled those two gingerly, like they were dead rats, or something equally as icky), the DaVinci Code (weird freakin' movie), Bambi (god, she still cried every time she watched that movie), the three original Stars Wars (because, honestly, as attractive as Hayden Christensen was, it just did _not_ mke up for the fact that the old ones were a bagillion times better), Tokyo Drift (asfjkl. It = LOVE), and the Butterfly Effect (weird movie, that one).

She set them on the coffee table, and went back to the couch. She sat down, folded her hands in her lap, and was waiting for about three minutes before Naruto and Suiegtsu both came in, carrying plates of really yummy-looking lasagna.

Naruto placed a plate down in front of her with a flourish and a silly smile. Hinata grinned shyly back, tucked her hair behind her ear, and murmured a soft "Thanks."

It was Suigetsu who shouted "OI! Get a room! We're watching Tokyo Drift!"

Naruto scoffed, and sat down next to Hinata. She could barely look at him - she felt his weight sink the couch down on her right side. His arm went around her small shoulders, and his voice was at her ear "Don't let Sharkbait sit next to you, Hina-chan! He's _evil_!"

Hinata could only flush, and restrain herself from curling into his side.

---

Ten minutes later, and despite Naruto's best efforts to make it otherwise, Suigetsu was sitting on Hinata left side, his arm tossed carelessly over the back of the couch.

Naruto was growling quietly, his arms around her tightly. Suigetsu was smirking, his lips pulled up at one side. Hinata was flushing between them, pressed close to Naruto, and awkwarder then she had ever been before.

This was going to be a _long_ movie.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa**: iLike pomegranate sherbet and peppermint schnapps and pretty boys. but you probably already know that. I DO NOT LIKE KISHI. HE JUST KILLED ME OFF. BITCH.  
**les**: iGet high off of soda. someone call the cops, there's a psychotic bitch on the loose. the next person to say 'i h8t sauce-gay!' is going to get bitch slapped by me. kthxzbai.  
**sonya**: iDidn't fall for him. i tripped. now, would someone pick me up?


	12. how to cough the colors of the rainbow

i got chills, they're multiplying and i'm losing control coz the power you guys are igniting with your reviews - it's electrifying! ...well not really but, thanks anyway! :D  
**disclaimer: **go suck on a muffin, foo'. (482 YES. YES. YES.) but we do own Tom's House of Foolery, and Tim The Douche. steal either, and be prepared to die. kpce.  
**dedication: **to having a connection when it comes to perversion, laughing, and giving the talk about masturbation (Saraa says: oh dear god, that was hilarious) _(Sonya complains: i wish they'd stop making fun of my innocence. I'M SORRY I'M NOT PERVERTED LIKE YOU TWO. GOD)_. (Saraa interrupts: IT WAS STILL FUNNY AS HELL.) (les bitches: DUDES. YOU'RE CRAMPING UP MY STYLE. STOP ITTTTTT.)  
because we are funny and unpredictable. love us. **_now._**

**_A HUGELY IMPORTANT NOTE.  
SONYA'S LAPTOP IS DEAD. MOURN, HUMANS, MOURN._**

* * *

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* * *

Sometimes, Karin liked being alone in winter-time. It was a world built of fragile things - ice and hoarfrost made delicate masterpieces, and sometimes, Karin would just sit back, a blur of hot-fire-colour, and let the white world pass by around her.

But she liked being alone in the dance studio best during the winter-time. She liked it best when the cold, gray winter-time sunlight poured in through the huge, room-length windows, and glinted off the polished wood barre, and glimmered off the mirror. It was always a little bit special to be in the Grand Ballroom all alone, on the darkwood floor, in a beautiful, showy Latin costume, tailored to fit her body in ways that most people would consider 'scandalous'.

Karin liked ballroom dance. She liked it_ a lot_. Ballet -spin, plié, fouette, balance, balance, _balance_- would always be her childhood love, but ballroom... ballroom was just _special_. Different in a good way. She could hear the pounding from the next room - Ino was still in there dancing.

Huh, she was going to have to text Hinata back later - it _was_ a Saturday night, and there was _no way_ Karin was going to be wasting this night. She had so much to _do_. And some of it was definitely going to be not-so-innocent questioning (hm, she was going to have to blackmail Tenten into helping her - Tenten normally liked Hinata...).

A smirk crossed her red-lipsticked lips. She couldn't wait.

* * *

Ino loved dancing.

There was no questioning, no doubt about that.

She loved the beat of the music, the lyrics, how they became one with her body, her mind, her soul. She loved how her body would automatically respond to the song, how her hips would jerk and twist and shake. How her legs would open and make her glide, make her spin - make her do wonders. She loved how her eyes would snap closed, how her mind would banish the world away; and she loved how she disconnected from everything and went into a peaceful universe in which the only sources of anything were the music and her.

But Ino also hated dancing all together.

Dancing, though her source of peace, was also the bane of her existence.

Because it left her vulnerable to the world. It let people see just who exactly she was: a girl with her heart at her sleeve ready to wrap it up in pretty, purple, shimmering ribbons and give it as a present to the first guy that made her swoon. And maybe that was stupid, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't.

Dancing allowed anyone to see that; allowed them to see that she was not only a stupid-stupid girl with her heart at her sleeve, but also a little girl crying out for a mother. Because hers was gone and dancing was the only source of connection she had to the blond woman that long ago left her and her father for a better life with someone else.

(Was that bitterness she felt?)

Her dancing, her musing stopped as she heard her Blackberry (Lola, because she had _feelings_) vibrate on the wooden floor. Ino snapped her sapphire eyes open and glided towards the device. And a squeal couldn't help but escape past her moist lips.

"MY OTPPPPPPPPP."

* * *

"Oi! Piglette! Are you finished in there?" Karin called, jean-clad hip jutting out. "We have to go, already! Kurenai's teaching the Intermediate class in ten, and she's already in a bitchy mood - those twelve-year-olds don't stand a chance. I'm also not in the mood to have my head cut off, hm-yes?"

Ino skidded out of the room, cheeks pulled up in a creepy grin like a mad cat with pointy teeth. "DID YOU READ HINATA'S TEXT? DID YOUU?!"

Karin stared at her, rather deadpan. "You were squealing, weren't you? And-" she broke off, the scared titter of one of the youngest dance classes twisting her lips into her almost-infamous smirk. "Don't scare the Tot class, that's not nice."

She got a purse-lip-glare-of-doom combination in return from Ino's general direction, and it was all Karin could do to snicker.

* * *

Ino pouted, huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Sometimes, she'd like to stuff Karin's face in some... some... badass stuff. Just because! Oh, and to wipe that smirk off her face, too. But still. Karin wouldn't be Karin without that smirk.

Sighing, Ino rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay. Let me go change so we can get the hell outta here." She twirled around in her stance and practically flew to her changing room to change.

It wasn't long before Ino came back out, clad in black skinnies (the ones with rip-holes all over them, yup, those.), gray boots (the Australian ones... what were their names again - Uggs, DUH.) and a gray pull-down hoodie, with a pretty rainbow spray-painted right on her chest. With a pretty grin painted on her lips, she flipped her lustrous ponytail over her shoulder, tucked her bangs behind her ear (and the insensitive jerk came back to rest in front of her right eye again) and tucked Lola into her pouch-pocket-thing.

"Okay! I'm ready!" Her eyes brightened up, "Oh! Can we go get a milkshake before we do anything diabolical?! Can we-- bye Kurenai-sensei!"

Before her red-haired best friend could say anything to their lord-and-master-person lady, Ino pulled her out of the studio and practically dragged Karin towards their ride. "Milkshakes, Karin! Milkshakes!"

* * *

They were at a standstill, Karin staring open-mouthed at Ino. "You want a _milkshake_ while our dear, sweet, _innocent_ Hinata might be getting _raped_?!"

Ino nodded enthusiastically. "They're my OTP, stupid! And, like, he wouldn't hurt her. Even if he could. 'Coz he _loves_ her."

Karin could only stare in complete and utter amazement. Oh, Ino. "You know, _this_ is why I love you. Forsaking the oh-so-important, innocent friend of ours, for a milkshake. Just eff-why-eye."

"Can we go? I want a milkshake, Karin!" Ino tapped her foot, checked her non-existent watch, and flipped her hair impatiently. Karin snorted.

And then just laughed. She smiled widely, and said "F_iiii_ne. I want chocolate! And I'm completely blaming you if Hinata's dead. _You_ can face her dad and Neji. They will not be my problem. I will tell them that you tricked me into it, like the truly horrible, friend-abandon-er you _are_."

* * *

"Cry me a river and build a bridge over it, betch. Then, jump over it. Gosh."

Ino led Karin towards her car, flipping her annoying hair over her shoulder. "Besides, all I have to do is flash my cleavage at Neji to get him to hide under a rock and unleash my daddy to Hiashi. I mean, seriously. Have they ever heard of allowing the girl to stretch her wings? She's about to be seventeen! I'm sure through the innocence, Hinata knows how to defend herself."

"Aiyaaa," Karin drawled, rolling her eyes as she took her seat on the passenger's seat. "She's Hinata and we must protect her virtue! That is our job!"

"Bah. _My _job is to flail and encourage her to do what she wants!" Ino started the ignition and checked her reflection in the rear-view-mirror before backing out of the parking space and heading towards the Boardwalk.

"MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD AND THEY'RE LIKE 'IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS'." She turned to smirk at her friend, "Damn right, Karin, it's better than yours; I can teach you, but I have to charge."

Ino laughed.

* * *

Karin just stared at Ino, mouth agape, hands clutching the locked door handle. She was half-way between covering her eyes and wishing this was over, and flat-out grabbing the steering wheel from Ino. "Why am I letting you drive, again? You're _insane_!" she whisper-screamed nervously, deeply terrified for her life. Oh, hell, this could _not_ end well...

Ino was not a sane driver. She never had been, she never would be, and right then, she was barreling down a one-way road. The _wrong way_.

"YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US, INO, WHAT ARE YOU- SADKFJSE, THAT'S A TRUCK, WE'RE GONNA DIEEEE!" Karin screeched, hair whipping upwards in the cold draft left by the lack of top (goddamn convertible - Ino was the kind of girl who left the top down in the middle of winter, just to prove that she _could_) and Ino let out an exhilarated scream of laughter as she only barely dodged out of the way of the oncoming truck. They took the turn back on to the main skyway at a sickening speed, and Karin couldn't keep her eyes open anymore. This was _way_ too scary.

Ino was still laugh-laugh-laughing, busily driving with her knees. _Please_, give the girl some credit - she'd been driving/doing her make-up/avoiding tickets since before she had been legally licensed to drive. It was _more_ then second nature to her, and Karin knew that.

But, _hell_, it was freakin' _scary as fuck_ when Ino drove like that.

Karin was _so_ not in the mood for this. "AHSFJKL, I'M TOO YOUNG AND PRETTY TO DIE, INO!"

* * *

She rolled her eyes, pausing from applying some more of her purple eyeliner on and snorted.

"Will you calm down, Karin? Like, seriously! You act as if I'd actually _crash _or something." Rolling her eyes once again, she went back to finishing her eyes; smokey black eyeshadow, bright purple eyeliner and mascara. Ino's _true _bffs - just don't tell Sakura or Karin or Hinata or Tenten that. They'd flip.

Smiling, she turned to Karin, hands taking the steering wheel in her grip again. "There! Don't I look just so _fabulous_? I mean, I'm all like _sheen sparkle sparkle_."

Karin shook her head slowly, disbelieving wine-red eyes staring at her friend. "You are not sane, Ino. Not sane at all."

"So I've been told - what else is new?"

Ino laughed at that, throwing her head back and closing her eyes in mirth. Life was so beautiful right now. So pretty and nice and shiny and just... amazing. There was no way this could get any better. And today was just awesome, too. So light and care free - there's no way _today _could get better (okay, if Ino drove a little bit safer, it might be better, but - whatever).

Ino was a very happy camper today.

When they arrived at the Boardwalk, Ino made a sharp park and turned the ignition off. "How much do I have to mess this junk up before Daddy let's me have his Mustang, you think? I mean, seriously." She looked at her convertible with a crinkled nose before it disappeared and sky-blue eyes glittered.

"MILKSHAKE!"

Grabbing Karin by the wrist, she whisked her away.

* * *

It wasn't long before they were back in the car - Karin insisted on driving for her sanity's sake; failed, too, when Ino refused to give her keys. She ended up sitting shot-gun, and pouting / fearing for her life some more-, both slurping on milkshakes. Karin had her dosage of chocolate to calm her nerves, and Ino had the signature mixture of Cookies'N Cream and Vanilla that she was infamous for.

Karin checked her phone - where the hell _was_ Hinata, anyways?

**From: Hina-chan  
To: Candii  
HURRY UP, PLEASE. I'm... ASHFDJKL. GET HERE. NOW. Park and Seventh Ave, house number 327. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE.**

Karin smiled. "Ino, my love, I think we have a sitch-u-a-tion. Hinata's trapped at a house on Park and Seventh Ave. Can we go and save her?"

"OH MY GOD, YES. Tell her we'll be ten minutes! Five, if I hit the lights right!" Ino squealed, and let out a high-pitched cackle of hyena-laughter as she sped through an amber light, perfectly content with the shouts of annoyance coming from those behind her.

**From: Candii  
To: Hina-chan  
we'll be there. HAVE YOU JUMPED HIM YET? btw, Ino's driving scares me shitless, & so I think you should drive from now on. okay? okay. love&kisses!**

Karin whimpered and clung to the door. She only managed to text Hinata back, and then she hid her face in her hands, and hoped to god that she would live through the next five-to-ten minutes of her life intact.

* * *

"HA! Would you look at that, made it in five."

Ino smirked as she parked her car behind a blue Mustang (OHSOPRETTY). She turned to the rear-view-mirror and fixed her hair, making sure her makeup was nice and pretty. Then, she turned to her shaking best friend and snorted. "Oh, shut up! It wasn't that bad!"

"OH YES IT WAS, IDIOT!"

"Shhh. You're messing up my swagger." Giggling at herself, Ino got out of the car, pocketing her keys in her hoodie's pouch-pocket-thing. But before anything, because she was Ino and she had to look good in front of guys, she checked/fixed her appearance. Hoodie was on good (a bit clingy to her body because wearing baggy things is not cool. Unless it's your boyfriend's.), the hood was folded nicely. Her black skinnies did wonders to her legs and her boots were nice and clean.

Fabulous!

Karin, because Ino was _that _damn scarring, slowly got out of the car, a semi-trembling hand fixing her redredred hair and her glasses. "Seriously, Piglette. Whoever gave you your license was crazy as fuck. Or plotting for the world to end."

Ino rolled her eyes. "Aiyee, drama queen. Sheesh."

Together, the two walked up to the front door of the house. Karin rung the doorbell and the two stood there, looking pretty. Because they were. Duh.

When the door opened, they were greeted by a guy. A very hot guy, if you asked Ino; tall, ivory skin, silver-white neck-length hair and... oh god, his eyes were beautiful. Sparkly and _ice-purple._ Ino couldn't help but ogle.

"Hi!" She said after a minute. The guy raised an eyebrow and then narrowed his eyes when they flashed to Karin. "We're here to see Hinata."

"Huh," the guy grunted. "Oi, Tinker Bell, you got some visitors."

It was then that Ino felt the...weird aura coming from the girl standing next to her.

* * *

_Beep - beep - beep - bee-eep; hey, hello, you've reached Karin's Brain. Sorry, she's not in right now, but if you leave a message after the beep, she might get back to you. But only if you're attractive. If your name is Ino, you're going to die, bitch._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_BEEP_.

**hey, brain, this is Candii. uhm. WHY IS HE HERE?!  
****...  
BLAME INO. BLAME HER. THIS IS _ALL HER FAULT_.**

* * *

Karin was seething. And close to punching Ino. And deeply, deeply annoyed.

But mostly seething.

She could only stare at the (very, very, very attractive) man standing in front of her. Okay, hi, they'd fucked. BUT THAT MEANT NOTHING. HE WAS PROBABLY TERRIFYING HINATA OUT. OF. HER. MIND.

And that, frankly, was just not cool. Karin's deep, sudden _loathing_ of this whole moment had _absolutely nothing_ to do with the fact that _Sui-fucking-getsu_ was standing in Hinata's new boyfriend person's house. Seriously. Nothing at all.

He sent a slow, indecently sexy look up and down her body, and Karin's gut contracted with about eight million different emotions - lust being the most prominent.

**_Fuck no_**.

* * *

What the fuck was _she _doing here?

Okay, he got that she was friends with Tinker Bell, but _what the fuck was she doing here_?! Like, seriously. There was nothing wrong with Tinker Bell - no one was doing anything bad to her. She was safe. She could _leave _now! God.

One thing, one habit, one ritual Suigetsu went by after he banged a girl was that he _never _saw them again - never pursued them, never called them (unless they were the occasional, rare booty calls.), never _nothing _to them. But if they were a good lay, he'd... _probably_ - most likely not, but still - call them once or thrice for another _good lay_.

And Toots was that - a good lay - but she _annoyed the fuck _out of him. And he'd prefer not to fuckin' see her more than he had to on account on he had to _email her _to get a fuckin' grade. But fuck... Just... _fuck._

Suigetsu, because he was male and he was an infamous player and he was _a man_, let his eyes roam up and down her body. And he admired. And he appreciated.

'Kay, thanks.

She could leave now.

Darting his eyes to the blond... And Suigetsu almost had the need to gulp. _Holy fuckin' shit. _

_She _could stay.

* * *

Ino felt awkward.

And she was fucking choking with this fricken raw tension in the air. She bounced on the balls of her feet, hands sliding down her back pockets as she looked around the nice neighborhood. So, like. What the fuck. Karin had that air to her - the one that was reserved when she wanted to beat her down to hell and then bring her back to do it all over again.

And she didn't even do anything! Honest!

Ino almost narrowed her eyes when there was a switch to the aura - _lust_.

And she almost had the urge to get a bat or a torch and torch/bat this hoochie to the floor! Like, if she's _lusting after_ someone, she didn't have to fricken take it out on her!

That's when Hinata, meek, shy, small little Hinata, appeared behind Suigetsu. A light blush on her cheeks and a dazed look in her eyes. "U-um...Hey girls."

The guy - what the hell was his name and could she have his number? - scooted over to the side when he heard the small girl's voice, looking at her and then shrugged and headed back inside. Ino's eyes glued themselves on his backside and you couldn't blame her. _Niiiiice_, she grinned.

"Hey, Hina!" She chirped because Karin was stiff and weird and useless at the moment. "So... 'Sup? OH. LET ME MEET HIM. LET ME MEET HIM NAOW!"

Ino began to flail.

* * *

Hinata could barely do anything other then blink.

Oh dear.

Ino was flailing, Karin was clenching her hands into fists, and... crap, this was _not_ going to be fun.

Hinata gulped, and bit down on her lip. Okay - she would have to distract Ino, would have to find a way to keep Karin from killing Suigetsu (because Hinata _knew_ that look - she _knew_ that Karin didn't like seeing the guys she had previously slept with, and Hinata had always been good at putting two and two together), and had to keep Naruto from... from... from being so adorable, she nearly died. All in about a span of _five minutes_.

Crap. Just crap.

How the _hell_ was this going to work?!

* * *

Karin wasn't too busy being angry to notice Hinata - she _also_ wasn't too busy to notice the way Suigetsu shot Ino A Look.

It wasn't that that wasn't normal; Ino got those kind of looks five times a day from random males, but, uhm, hi? Hello? THE GUY WAS A JERK. And Karin realized - she was going to have to tell him to keep his hands to himself. That probably wasn't going to be all that fun, but it _did_ have to happen.

Ino was chattering animatedly at Hinata (poor girl was blushing - Karin figured she was going to have to restrain Ino at some point, to keep Hinata from dying, or something), and Karin stood there quietly, her hip jutting out.

"Are you gonna let us in, or what?" Karin asked, slowly tilting her head to the side - she felt her neck crack. She kind of felt like she was putting war paint on.

Because this _was_ war.

* * *

"Fuckin' shit," Suigetsu muttered, going back into the living room where Naruto still sat, staring at the screen entrancingly.

Blinking, the blond turned to his friend and raised a brow. "Wha?"

Suigetsu shook his head and glared at the door leading to the entrance-hall; Naruto followed his eyes and only met with the grand mirror ("OH NARU-KUN, LOOK, IT'S _HANDMADE_!") that his mother loved so much and the china-table-thing where a bouquet of flowers were _always _placed. Naruto cleared his throat and turned back towards the fair-haired teen.

"So... What?"

"It's that... that damn woman." Suigetsu scoffed and stuffed his hands in his pockets, before he turned to the empty plates on the coffee table. He went to them, piled them up, grabbed the empty cans and headed towards the kitchen.

Suigetsu was messy, yes. But when he was flustered-annoyed-pissed he _cleaned_. And it was the only time he actually did it; which is why his house was always a mess.

Naruto stared at his friend's back before shaking his head. He stood up and walked towards his front door, already seeing Hinata standing there with two other girls. He was going to wrap an arm around Hinata's shoulders, but then remembered how overprotective her friends were and decided against it; instead he shoved them into his jeans pockets and came to a stop next to her.

"Uh... Hi...?"

The redhead looked annoyed. But the blond one _beamed._

* * *

"OH HI! YOU MUST BE _HIM_." Ino fought back the urge to flail and instead stuck out her hand. The blond guy (OH SO PRETTY; black skinnies, purple t-shirt and _orange _converses) took it in his larger one and shook it. "I'm Ino."

"Naruto."

"Well, Naruto! You are everything I was thinking about! It's no wonder Hinata's all head over heels!" Oh god, she was now flailing via the lips.

"U-um," Hinata looked like she was about to faint. Oh shit.

Ino cleared her throat and looked around, pouting at Karin's stinky mood. MOOD KILLER. KILL JOY. SHE SUCKED. SHE SUUUUUCKED.

"Come in!" Naruto invited, forgetting for a moment who these girls were and wrapped an arm around Hinata's waist and moving her aside with him to allow the two other girls in. "We have lasagna and... anything you'd like, really."

Ino decided that Naruto's smile was really beautiful. It was no wonder Hinata...She smiled at him too, her eyes lowering to his arm around her friend's waist. And knowing how Karin might react to that, she blocked them from the redhead's view as they stepped inside. She let Karin take the lead, her in the middle and the couple behind her.

She'd be damned if Hinata's moment was going to be cut off.

* * *

Hinata was somewhere in between floating on Cloud Nine (read: not thinking at all), and freaking out (read: thanking _freaking_ god that her friends had come to save her).

Both were good options.

But she kind of had a feeling she was going to be staying on Cloud Nine. As long as Suigetsu didn't do anything scary - because he did scary things without even realizing it - she would be perfectly fine. Hinata shot a glance at Karin's stiff frame, and then took a peek around Naruto at Suigetsu, frantically cleaning the kitchen.

She blinked. Oh no. Oh _no_.

Hinata had always been good at math - had always been good at putting two and two together.

Stiff, pissed off Karin, cleaning Suigetsu... That could only mean one thing.

_Christ_.

Hinata gulped. If she was -if Suigetsu had been the guy that Karin had slept with-, this was going to get _messy_.

* * *

Karin was _not a happy camper_.

SERIOUSLY.

It wasn't like she couldn't see Hinata's boyfriend person - hi, hello, Karin had _eyes_, she could _see_, and Ino was not the greatest person to hide something behind (freakin' stick-model-person, pfft). And really, Karin thought it was adorable. It also looked like he really made Hinata happy. And hey, his arm was around her, and she hadn't fainted as of yet!

Totally a first!

Karin grinned, and wanted the cheer her shy, sweet little friend on.

ON THE OTHER HAND.

There was that... _thing_ in front of her. Stupid boy. She was going to have to get him alone, and- and- and- and possibly kill him while he was preoccupied with something unimportant. Jerk.

* * *

Garbages could be cleaned, right?

Can't have dirty garbage, SpongeBob said. Suigetsu _totally _agreed. He cleared the counters of _any _kind of dust - the island had no stains, the fridge was spotless. Dear god, he was turning into his mother. How fuckin' horrible. That girl _had to fuckin' leave_.

Stopping in the corner of the fridge and one of the many counters, Suigetsu whipped out his cellphone and dialed a number.

_"What the hell do you want?"_

"Get your dirty ass to Naruto's house. Now."

_"What the fuck? No. Unless he almost burnt the house down again, because that would be damn funny. Fuck, that dumbass doesn--"_

"NO. Not that." Suigetsu ran an agitated hand through his hair and shifted his weight from one leg to the other. "Just... Mutt... Stop being annoying and get over here."

_"Dude, back off," _a wrench could be heard being dropped on the floor. Suigetsu rolled his eyes. _"I'm kind of busy here, dud- STOP FUCKING TOUCHING THAT, YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING BREAK IT, YOU DOUCHEBAG!"_

Suigetsu waited for Kiba to stop screaming at whoever was touching his precious car. "Stop obsessing over that damn car, dude. Just come. It's.... JUST GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE._"_

_"Fuck you. Jus- just fuck you," _a sigh was heard, and Suigetsu knew that Kiba was probably running a hand through his hair. _"Fine. But only because you're getting on my goddamn nerves, you freakin' idiot."_

"Just whatever and get over here."

He ended the call and sighed. Stupid woman... Was that dust he saw there?

* * *

Ino took a seat on the armchair, watching as Naruto and Hinata sat down together. Karin proceeded to keep going straight, for some reason that didn't quite interest Ino. Okay... Maybe it did. But she'd find out later. So it was cool.

She twirled a lock of her bleach-blond hair around her finger and looked around the place. It was nice. More than nice. It was amazing. The carrot-headed woman she saw on the pictures must be Naruto's mother - she was pretty. And... Wow... This place was amazing.

"So... What're we watching?"

Blinking, Naruto and Hinata turned to her and then to the screen. "Oh," Naruto said, a grin on his lips, "Tokyo Drift."

"OH. THAT MOVIE'S AWESOME."

"I KNOW, RIGHT?!"

Naruto and Ino went into an animated conversation about the movie. And... Hinata blinked. Weird friendship were derived from common movie interests.

"--DUDE THAT PART WAS AMAZING."

"I _KNOW_, RIGHT?"

Ino decided that this guy was _perfect _for Hinata.

* * *

Hinata flushed at the look Ino was sending her way - it was a mixture of a smirk sing-song-y "_I told you so_!", and something a little deeper, more like Ino was genuinely happy that Hinata was happy. It made everything better - if Ino approved, that approval would slowly filter through the rest of the group. It would filter through, even with Tenten and Sakura's best attempts to have him flayed and killed on the spot.

Which was kind of good, because Hinata was actually_ really _happy - she really actually liked Naruto.

The movie was still playing. They were at the part where Han was about to die - Hinata whimpered; she hated this part. It was ridiculously sad, and stupid, and NO, HAN, YOU'RE TOO COOL TO DIE.

Hinata didn't realize that she was clutching Naruto's arm tight enough to cut of his circulation.

"Uh... Hinata-chan? I can't feel my fingers..." he whispered apologetically into her ear, and Hinata turned the colour of a fire hydrant and forced herself to let go.

"S-Sorry, N-Naruto-kun," she whispered back.

But he just grinned, and shifted slightly so that Hinata sank into him. "S'okay, Hina-chan."

And what did she do? She blushed, and mentally flailed. She just _knew_ that Ino was probably banging her head against a desk. Because, really, this was getting out of hand. Hinata sighed, and slightly burrowed into his side, and hid her face. He still smelled good.

Whatever. This was way nicer.

* * *

Karin stood behind Suigetsu, leaning casually against a wall. He was on the phone with some guy, and Karin could hear the yelling even through the phone. She tapped her foot, and waited for him to hang up.

He seemed fixated on a spec of dust, but when he finally looked up -when he finally realized she was there, rather-, they locked eyes, and Karin smiled slowly, grimly.

"Hey there, Jailbait. I think we need to have a chat."

* * *

Suigetsu licked his lips and stared at the cupboard above Karin's head.

"What do you want, Toots," he asked in a lazy drawl. He pocketed his phone, soon followed by his hands as he allowed his eyes to connect with her burgundy ones.

She looked angry with a mixture of everything else. He didn't know why she looked angry - he hadn't even spoken to her since the time... at her house. He didn't even greet her outside when he opened the door... She wasn't angry because of that, was she? Suigetsu sighed.

Karin continued to look at him, never speaking.

"Well...?"

* * *

Naruto... was happy.

He truly was. Hinata was so... Hinata was... Naruto didn't finish the thought. It was hard and easy all in one. He just didn't... Gah, SHUT UP INNER NARUTO, FUCK.

He turned back to the movie and allowed himself to be engulfed in Hinata's warmth as she sunk in deeper to his side. Naruto wrapped an arm around her and almost wanted to kiss Ino for being the sane one of her friends. She didn't even care that he was touching her. Better yet... she was encouraging them!

He squeezed his hold on the small girl next to him and allowed a content smile on his lips.

* * *

After awhile, Ino began to crave a milk... She blinked.

HEY.

She didn't even finish her milkshake... Where did she leave that godly thing?! She looked around the living room but to no avail. Then it hit her - the car. Sighing she got up, attracting the attention of the couple. Ino grinned at them, "I forgot something in my car. I'll be back in a bit."

She made her way outside, opening the door and then closing it (making sure it was unlocked), walking down the steps and then towards her car. She moved towards the driver's side of the car, feeling too lazy to unlock and open her car, so she leaned forwards until she was balancing herself by her tummy, legs slightly in the air as she reached for her precious milkshake.

As she hung around like that, just for the fun of it and because she was Ino and she does things for the fun of it and because she didn't care and _why not_, she heard a car passing by, "Feeling This" by Blink 182 blasting from the car's speakers. Ino's eyes widened and a big grin came to her lips as she still dangled on her car's door. OH MY.

SHE LOVED THIS SONG!

---

Kiba parked on the side of the road, pulled the keys out of the ignition, and listened to the lack of sound.

Fuck, Suigetsu was going to fucking owe him for this. Kiba got out of the car -goddamn freakin' _Shikamaru's_ car; his baby was still in the shop. Kiba despaired-, and stared in something like shock at, well, _hell_, that couldn't be Ino, could it?

What the fuck was she doing _here_?

Didn't she deserve to be somewhere... _better_?

They looked at each other for a minute, both entirely silent.

And then he sprinted towards her, and she sprinted towards him, and they met in the middle... Kiba hadn't even realized he had been having trouble breathing until then - it was like chronic pain, and the second she was there, it was gone. Fuck, that was... really lame, but he didn't even care. She just - everything about her made him NOT care.

So they stood there, at the foot of Naruto's driveway, entirely wrapped in each other.

He pressed her forehead against hers. "I missed you, kiddo."

* * *

Karin shot a glance out the window - lovely, Ino and her boytoy were wrapped around each other on the driveway. Really, just lovely. Karin scoffed to herself. Well, now at least she knew who Suigetsu had been calling - honestly, though, she hadn't really cared in the first place.

She stared at him for another long minute, gathering every fiber of courage she had in her body - really, she was going to need it.

_Okay, Karin, you can do this. You **have** to do this. Or else he's going to ruin **that** on the driveway, and **that** in the living room. And we can't live with that, we can't. So suck it up, slut, and get a move on_. She took a deepdeepdeep breath, and stalked towards him.

"Listen up, sweetheart. You and I have to get a few things straight. You can fuck around with my head, and you can fuck around with my body, but you better leave my girlfriends out of it. From what I've heard-and-seen, Ino is dating _your best friend_, and if you so much as _look_ at Hinata wrong, I will find a way to make your life _miserable_, kapeesch?"

She paused, and took another slow, measured step towards him. She gave him A Look Of Doom over her glasses.

"Are we clear, _princess_?"

---

Suigetsu scoffed.

"Alright, look, Knight-In-Tin-Foil," Oh, she wanted to fuck around with him? Who said Suigetsu was a pansy? "Your blond friend? Yeah, she's hot - but I'm not stupid, I can tell that's Ino and I'm not one to fuck around with marked property - especially Kiba's. Your other friend, Tinker Bell? Not my cup of tea. So back the fuck off and stop acting like I'm scared of you."

She made him so damn fucking angry. Fuck, he wanted to punch something right now. His ears burned and his...fuck, his whole temperature heated up a notch or ten. He glared at her, ice-purple eyes turning all the icier as he looked down at her with a glare Sasuke and Neji would be proud of.

"Now, if you don't mind, _Toots_," he said waving his hand as a way to make her move, "I have to use the bathroom."

* * *

Oh god - she had been so _damn wrong_.

Today _could _get better and it so did.

Ino felt completely... Well fuck, she didn't have the right adjective to describe what she felt. How damn lame was that?! She sighed, breathing in his scent and... Oh god her knees were going all jello-y. And.... Her eyes snapped open as she felt something... cold spread around her chest and tummy.

She pulled away from Kiba's hug and stared down at her chest. "Oh... Well... Fuck."

Looking back up at Kiba, and meeting his eyes she grinned. And then she pulled her gray hoodie off, leaving her in a black cami that hugged her figure quite nicely. She turned away from him, throwing her soiled hoodie in the back of her convertible before returning to stand right in front of him.

"There, all fixed!"

---

Kiba just stared at her. She had somehow managed to crush her milkshake against her body, and somehow avoided him entirely. How was that even _possible_?

And now... now she wasn't wearing much for clothing. Crap. It was goddamn winter. Wasn't she fucking freezing? Freakin' idiot, she was gonna get sick. "Ino... put a jacket on. It's winter."

Of course, this had nothing to do with the fact that Kiba did _not_ want anyone seeing her like that. Yes, he was possessive. Yes, he was crazy. And right then, he didn't really give a damn. Ino's exposed skin had turned to gooseflesh, and it didn't even occur to Kiba to, oh, _go inside_ where it was _warm_.

It made _much_ more sense to wrap her in his jacket, and _then_ cart her inside. He pulled his jacket off -goddamn thing didn't keep any heat in, but it was better then... _that_ tank-top _thing_ she was wearing-, and slipped it around her shoulders.

And Kiba wasn't stupid. He knew she was probably going to protest.

And so he did what he did best - he leaned down, and kissed her on the lips. When he pulled away, she was grinning like a goofball, and it was all he could do to not kiss her again.

Silly girl.

* * *

Karin _hated_ being waved off. She hated it _more then anything_.

It was so _degrading_.

And so she wasn't really thinking. And that was _really_ not an intelligent thing, because, hi? When Karin was angry, she was the kind of girl to do stupid, irrational, _ridiculous_ things. What she did next was definitely underneath that "stupid, irrational, _ridiculous_ things" category.

She grabbed him by the collar, whipped him around, _slammed_ him against the kitchen wall, and snarled out, through clenched teeth, no less, "_Listen_ to me, fuckhead. I'm not _screwing around_, here. My friends are _off-limits_. And not just Ino and Hinata. The others, too, _get it_? I don't want to deal with a broken heart or eight, because it's _not fun_, and it _hurts_, okay?!"

She ploughed on; hell, she had _way_ more to say to him. "And if you think you can just dismiss me, or whatever, you have _another thing coming_. I don't give a shit if you're not scared of me or whatever, because you _should_ be."

Karin didn't even stop to breathe. "And _don't_ call me Toots, you goddamn _asshole_. We are _not_ friends, and it's going to _stay_ that way, okay? Just stay the fuck away from my friends, and we're perfectly cool. But _don't fucking start_ with me."

---

Suigetsu smirked ferociously.

Oh, okay. She wanted to play like that. And she thought she had more strength than him? He shoved her away from him, and a second later, _he _slammed _her _against the kitchen wall. His face, his glare that burned more than any fuckin' sun could, was inches away from her. "Don't. Fuckin'. Test my patience. I told you your friends don't fuckin' interest me. Get a fuckin' grip. Now. I'm going to fuckin' let you go, because I need to take a fuckin' piss, and you are going to _leave me the fuck alone_. Because you know what? I never said I wanted to be your friend. And I don't. So back. The fuck. Off."

And for good measure, he smirked - looking positively manic. "_Toots._"

And with that, Suigetsu let go of his grip on her and left the kitchen and towards the bathroom.

* * *

Ino pouted as they stepped inside.

"Okay, here," She handed him his jacket back. "We're inside, I'm safe from the big bad winter-ness."

Kiba looked as if he was about to disapprove and Ino rolled her eyes, a flirty smile coming to her lips. "Oh, calm down!" She handed him the jacket, "Take the jacket, Kiba."

He wouldn't.

Ino blinked. "Take the jacket."

"Put it on," he said, still not reaching for it.

Ino's smile left her lips. "Just take the jacket."

"No."

"...Take. The. Jacket." She took a step closer to him with every word. Kiba didn't back down, though, but rather watched with cautious eyes as she neared him. They were inches apart now and... Ino looked angry-flirty-annoyed all in one.

"Take it."

He shook his head and opened his mouth to protest-

-And then he was slammed against the hall-closet's door and lips were on his.

The jacket lay forgotten.

---

Kiba growled low in his throat. Fucking domineering _bitch_.

Fucking domineering bitch who really wasn't wearing anything that could be considered a _shirt_.

Not a good combination.

And Kiba didn't like losing control - losing control of the girls he kissed, losing control of what he was feeling, _hell_, losing control of the goddamn situation. He just couldn't fucking _stand_ it. And not even Ino was going to be an exception to that.

He pulled her against his chest, and locked his arms around her. Hell, that wasn't even _enough_. He nipped her ear, felt her gasp - caught her off-guard, swung her around, pressed her into the wall. It took him no time to hitch her legs up around his waist, no time to leave more marks along her neck - he loved her neck. He dragged his teeth along her collar bone - felt her shiver against him.

He had forgotten that she liked his teeth.

A crinkle of leather beneath them made him smile. That goddamn jacket. Christ.

He kissed her lips again, and then all was quiet as they sank to the floor.

* * *

That was _it_.

That was _just_ _fucking it_.

Yeah, that habit of doing stupid, irrational things when angry? Yeah, that one? It was actually going to get her killed someday. Seriously. There was no escaping that - it was just going to kill her. And then she would be dead. And then there would be no more lovely hate sex- WAIT, NO. _Stupid brain_!

Karin stomped after him. "You- you! I _hate_ you! Did you know that? I hate you and all your- your- _stupidity_!"

She slammed into his back, just outside the bathroom door - felt muscles contract beneath his clothes, and she hissed as her bright-yellow-today nails contrasted against his shirt, and dug into his back. "I _hate_ you," she hissed quietly into his ear.

---

Suigetsu turned his head to look at her from the mirror's reflection. His glare was still intact; that fuckin' glare that scared dozens of people when he used it. The glare that made him well known when he was locked up. That glare.

Didn't this girl see the picture? He _didn't want to hurt her._ By god, he was trying to stay on his sane part. He... He didn't want to fuckin' hurt her and would she leave him alone before he lost control?

He sighed, lowly, his muscles tensing. "Look. I'm just trying to take a piss. Would you... you know... Leave? Because, for fuck's sake. I'm trying to control myself here - I don't want to fuckin' hurt you and you're _making it hard on me. Back the fuck off. _For the last time."

He felt her twitch and then pull away. "You little pussy. Can't even face a girl, can you?"

Suigetsu turned around and watched her back away, her front never facing away from him. He neared, as if he was going to say something to her, instead, he grabbed the door and before slamming it close in her face her gave that manic look again.

"Bite me, _Toots_."

And then he slammed the door, never allowing her to say a word back.

* * *

Ino never liked being under, or led. _She_ was the leader, they did what _she _wanted. And this was _not _going to change with Kiba. Nope, not at all.

So she allowed him his moment, hovering above her and kissing, nipping, sucking where he wished. Because she enjoyed it, she wasn't going to lie. He made her shiver, he made her mind go into complete chaos - but it was a good chaos. He made her feel things she's never felt before. Not with Sasori... not with any other guy.

He sucked at her neck and Ino allowed a softsoftsoft-oh-so-soft breathy moan escape her.

And then she flipped them over, so that she was on top of him - straddling his hips. Kiba stared at her with wide eyes before they narrowed. But Ino met both looks with a smirk as she bent her upper half towards him.

She began by kissing his lips, biting his lower lip and then sucking it and then she dragged her lips to his chin, down the length of his jaw, down his neck. Here she stopped and nibbled, licked, sucked. His growls only made her want to tease him all the more. Sexy, sexy, boy.

And then she moved towards the other side of his neck, gave that side the same treatment before she rose her lips up to his pierced earlobe. She sucked, and licked the shell of his ear.

Ino _wasn't _one to be led. _She _was the leader.

She smirked.

---

Kiba kind of wanted to _snarl_ at her.

But, crap, who _gave_ a shit? He pulled her down, pulled her closer, kept her lips occupied, and let his fingers wander along her body, traced patterns on her hips and the small of her back. She made the most erotic sounds, he thought, his mind in a haze.

Pretty, pretty girl.

Ino really was beautiful. Her hair curtained around them, a sheet of gold separating them from the world. Kiba trailed his hands up her side, his fingers catching on the edge of that goddamn scrap of fabric that she called a shirt. Fuck, seriously.

"Ino," he muttered, "Fuck, I-"

Her mouth was at his ear; and christ, she was so fucking young. So fucking young, and so fucking beautiful. And he could probably just look at her forever, and it would be enough. He curled a hand around the back of her neck, and gently held her away.

"I don't want to fuck this up, Ino," he told her quietly, barely breathing. "I don't want to fuck up. Not with you."

* * *

Karin stared at the closed bathroom door. Her hands were against the door, curled into angry fists. The fight was slowly draining out of her.

Well, actually, it didn't drain out of her - it was draining into her stomach, and building up to one phrase. Because Karin was stupid and idiotic and, okay, he was _really_ attractive, and _really_ stupid, and _really_ idiotic, and she just _hated_ him and it was ridiculous, and-

"Bite you? Where and how hard, asshole?"

---

Sighing, because god, she just _didn't leave him the hell alone_, Suigetsu opened the door to the bathroom - toilet flushed (because Kushina demanded it from her boys) and hands washed. He stared at her, long and hard; his stare was back to normal - not the manic one that took over when he was borderline on snapping.

He ran the tip of his tongue down his bottom lip as he stared at her. He caught the smudge of dust on her cheek - she must of gotten it from his hands, when he slammed her against the wall. He _had _been cleaning before she walked in to anger him. Suigetsu, without thinking, reached out and with his damp hands cleaned the smudge away.

Before she could flinch back out of his reach, he dropped his hand back to his side and stared at the wall above her head.

"Wherever you'd like and as hard as you like, bitch."

* * *

Ino's eyebrow shot up, the other one lowering down to make her look as if she was scrutinizing him - well, actually she was in the process of not believing him.

And she _didn't _believe him.

"Oh, really," She pursed her lips, "How interesting."

And it would seem that Kiba caught her tone - the tone in which allowed the listener to know that, you know what, no, she _didn't _believe you and no _she _didn't want to hear it. He opened his mouth to speak.

"EH," she made a disapproving noise - like the ones in those game-shows - and placed a finger to his lips. "Save it."

---

"No, christ, Ino- you don't get it, it's not-"

Fuck. He'd just fucked this -whatever the hell _this_ was- up. But she- fuck, she _had_ to understand, because if she didn't, this would never work. He didn't want to hurt her, and he'd goddamn _swore_ he wasn't going to, and-

And she was frozen in his arms, so close, her body curved into his, warm and alive and- _fuck_ _no, stop being a goddamn perv!_ he told himself strictly, gritted his teeth to grind it into his brain.

"Let me go," she told him, her voice convincingly soft.

"I can't. Fuck, you have to listen-"

* * *

_Wow, I am a whore_, Karin thought to herself. Seriously. This was taking 'slut' to whole new levels that didn't even exist before - fucking in someone else's bathroom, with no alcohol invovled. Definitely a new low.

She twined her fingers through his hair, and snarled against his lips. Bite him? Hell yes; if she made him bleed, it was his fault for pushing her so far - he should have _known_ by now, she was _not_ the type of girl who... backed down, or whatever shit.

Karin was _way_ too stubborn for that.

She groaned and pushed him against the sink, and locked him there. "Still mad, sweetie?" she whispered, the remnants of a song in her voice.

---

Suigetsu was smirking now, his eyes looking at the cream colored wall as she back him up against the sink. Of course, Inner Suigetsu was growling and snarling because _fuck no _did she _not _have the dominance here. It was _him_. But he restrained that side of him, he allowed her to have her moment. Because through it all, through his slight anger problem and through his annoyance of this girl, he was still a gentleman.

"Still mad, sweetie?" she asked in a whisper.

Suigetsu's smirk widened, his infamous fang-like tooth peeking out. "Huh," he grunted, his eyes flashing down to lock with her burgundy ones. "Mad," he purred, "of course not, babe."

In an instance, he switched their positions, caging Karin in between his body and the sink. His smirk only widened more, a glint in his iced amethyst eyes. And then he was at her neck, and down to her collarbone.

* * *

Ino bit the inside of her cheek and stared at the carpet.

"I don't want to hear it," she said, her voice not rising from the soft tone she had forced it into. "Don't explain anything to _me_. Now, let me go."

"Ino, if you'd just--"

With the strength she did not know she had, because, really, this was Kiba that was holding her against him, she broke out of his grip. She pulled her camisole down - not allowing him to frame her pierced hips in his stare, because, just no - and fixed her hair. And then she was smiling right before twirling around, opening the front door and stepping outside.

He was up and following her in a mili-second.

"Hey! Where the--"

"Save it!"

She hopped into her convertible and decided this was going to be fun.

---

Hip piercings. Christ, the girl had her hips pierced. A fierce rush of desire ran through him. He'd forgotten about that.

_Keep it in your pants, dude, she has to **understand**_, Kiba told himself firmly. But she was already gone, and Kiba could only grab his jacket off the floor, and book it after her. She was going to fucking _freeze_ out there.

She was sitting in the road, engine running, ready to take off, and she was _waving_ at him. Kiba ran his hand through his hair, and let out a sigh. Crap. What the hell did she want? She was such a fuckin' tease - a tease who wouldn't listen to what was best for her.

Jeezus.

She just pointed to his car, and laughed like summer. And then she gunned the engine. And Kiba would be _damned_ if he ever said no to a race. He'd just be _damned_. Even if it _was_ a race from a girl. Even if it _was_ a race from the girl he was kindasortamaybe dating.

Well. Shit.

He had a race to win.

* * *

Karin could only let a tiny half-moan out of her throat as he scraped his teeth across her collarbone - _shit_, that was sensitive. And then she sort-of half-realized what he'd just said to her.

_Babe_.

He'd just called her _babe_. The emotion that was running through her was either deep, deep rage, or deep, deep lust. Karin figured it was better to go with lust. "Good," she murmured as she wrapped her arms around his neck, "I hate it when my men are mad at me."

His fingers dug into her sides, and Karin smiled slowly against his hair. Hm, didn't like having someone claim him, did he?

"Would you hurry up and get your pants off, please?" Karin murmured.

Casual hate sex - she could do that.

---

Suigetsu was torn; it was either stay silent about her obnoxious claim on him and keep the peace (and get laid. Fuck yeah), or growl and make it _clear _that he belonged to no one. Because he didn't; Suigetsu's never dated anyone. Keeping a girl around for more than a day - a night? Bah, that was troublesome.

He growled deep within his throat. "How about you take of your shirt," he whispered-hissed. And then said shirt was in his hands, his eyes already drinking in her exposed curves, her...Suigetsu froze at the sight of her bra. Strapless. Bright pink. With red kiss marks all over it.

He blinked and continued to stare. And then he chuckled and pulled at her jeans. "What, are you wearing matching panties," he asked, taking a peek inside her jeans.

Karin slapped his hand away and in turn unbuckled his skinnies - at the first sight of the blue boxers... With Stewie Griffin printed all over them.

She rose an eyebrow and snorted, "Why do you care? You're wearing Stewie boxers."

Suigetsu smirked and took a hold of her jean-buckle-thing (great. He wasn't thinking straight anymore), burying his face in her neck, teeth immediately getting busy with a hickey he had already left there.

"You're right - why do I care? It'll come off in a second."

And he unbuckled her jeans, yanking them down a second later.

* * *

_(He ate my heart  
He a-a-ate my heart__  
__He ate my heart  
He a-a-ate my heart out)_

Ino was driving at 80 mph. It was kind of... slow for her usual, but what the heck - she was barely beginning. Driving with her convertible's top down, the wind flying through her hair, Lady Gaga blasting in her speakers. Wooh! She was pumped.

_(He's a wolf in disguise  
But I can't stop staring in those evil eyes)_

Her speed picked up - empty street, empty street, take it now, Ino, take it. She was flying now. One look at her rear-view mirror and she caught Kiba's car slowly catching up to hers. But Ino wouldn't allow it, she wouldn't. She was the creator of this game and she was _going _to win. A smirk came to her lips and before she knew it she was laughing.

_(That boy is a monster  
M-m-m-monster_  
_That boy is a monster  
M-m-m-monster  
That boy is a monster  
Er-er-er-er)_

---

Christ, the girl drove like Sasuke. And if that wasn't scary enough, he could wisps of Lady Gaga - speed, and Lady Gaga. Probably not a good combination. Huh.

But Sasuke had been the one to teach Kiba to drive. So it wasn't _that_ bad.

And if she wanted to blast Lady Gaga... hell, he would just have to blast something equally loud. And that was Rise Against.

_(Wings won't take me  
Heights don't phase me  
So take a step  
But don't look down  
Take a step)_

It was dark. It was late. The streets were empty, and the lights were long. He could hear her laughing, even over the music, as they raced through the deserted streets, weaving through the few, weary drivers on the road.

_(Now I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall  
I think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong  
I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall)_

He didn't even know where she was leading him. And, surprisingly, he didn't even care. Surprisingly, he found he could really care less. He liked it when she laughed. And - he was willing to go wherever she felt like taking him.

And then he felt disgusted with himself for being such a goddamn sap.

But that didn't stop him from chasing after her.

* * *

.

.

.

Well, that was... different. Angry hate sex (which turned into damn hot casual sex) was different then just... hate sex. Jeez, none of those bruises were going to leave for a week or two - for christssake, her _ass_ was bruised (that freakin' sink edge had been _sharp_).

Karin stretched in the middle of the kitchen, her shirt riding up. And no one around to witness the walk of shame. Win! She was just gonna go home, and then tell Hinata and Ino later about the incredible sex - watch Ino's face light up with glee, and watch Hinata almost faint from the blood rising to her face. That was always amusing.

It was quiet in the living room - Karin wondered if Naruto and Hinata were both scarred for life, and had passed out from the shock. But when she peeked in, she saw them curled up on the couch together, Hinata's tiny body curled like a kitten on top of Naruto's chest. Both were sleeping soundly, the ending credits of Tokyo Drift rolling.

It was so cute, she almost squealed.

Karin went back into the kitchen, and looked out the window. She quietly stared at her dim reflection - glass and light did odd things to one's face, like smoke and mirrors. And Suigetsu was standing right behind her. "Hey, creep," she told him casually.

---

Suigetsu had a... rather large hickey on the side of his neck - fuck, it was almost as big as a... He growled; he was _not _going to be able to land with any lay for a week. Fuckin' Toots. She probably did that on purpose.

He approached her, his hair messily falling in front of his face. He caught her greeting, but wasn't really in the mood to reply with a witty comeback of his own; instead, his hands ran down her curves, slowly. Up. Down. Up. Down.

"I don't fuckin' like you," he purred in his low, raspy voice, "but you're _very _tempting."

He could picture her smirking - and right now, he didn't have the energy to fight with her. So he allowed her. He watched, lazily as she turned around, now facing him. Suigetsu stared at her, face blank; she mirrored his look - save for the triumphant smirk.

And then she was kissing him - and he knew she was just proving to him that he did want her. But Suigetsu didn't fight it down because at the moment he did. So he kissed her back with as much fervor as she was giving him.

* * *

Ino was now at almost 95 mph. Adrenaline was rushing through her veins, even as she reached a hand up to run through her natural bleach-blond locks. Smirking, and giggling, She did a sharp turn, the tires of the poor convertible screeching loudly and leaving hot tire-burns on the concrete road.

_(He licked his lips  
Said to me  
"Girl you look good enough to eat"  
Put his arms around me  
Said "Boy now get your paws  
right off of me")_

From what she could see, he was right at her tail, Ino was beginning to grow annoyed. GET LOST ALREADY - THAT'S THE POINT OF THE GAME. But Ino knew someone like Kiba wouldn't get lost and wouldn't lose sight of her. Growling, she hit the gas and flew right through a Camry and a mobile-car - stupid people and their slow driving.

She laughed, throwing her head back, hair dancing with the wind.

Then... it hit her. Grinning, she did another sharp turn, drove straight for two blocks, turned left and so on all for the purpose of getting to her destination.

The beach.

---

Kiba rolled his eyes at Ino's habit of taking turns at an angles that were _way_ too sharp to be fair. He dodged around the Camry, and took another one of the jolting-dangerous turns at sickening speed.

Sometimes, Kiba was thankful he was such an adrenaline junkie.

_(Perpetual motion, the image won't focus  
A blur is all that's seen  
But here in this moment like the eye of the storm  
It all came clear to me  
I found a shoulder to lean on  
An infallible reason) _

Where the _hell_ was she going? The only thing they were headed towards was the boardwalk, and then the ocean - and the ocean went on forever. Kiba pressed the gas down a little harder - this thing wasn't even using half of the power he and Shikamaru had stuffed into it.

Hell, he wasn't even using the NOS yet.

He smirked to himself. It would be an unhappy surprise for Ino when she realized that he wasn't even _trying_ to keep up.

_(to live all by itself  
I took one last look from the heights that I once loved  
And then I ran like hell)_

* * *

When they paused to breathe (part of her wanted to drown in him - drown in everything that Suigetsu was, ever had been), Karin hid her face in his shoulder. It was nice not to be so alone, but this - they were a secret.

"You're bothersome," she told his shoulder quite seriously. "I don't like you, I don't, and you're annoying and rude and _dumb_, and a lot of the time you deeply suck and I think that-"

She stopped when she realized she was babbling. Damn it - she hated it when that happened. She slowed her breathing, and went back to hiding her face in his shoulder. He smelled nice - like the earth after rain in the middle of the night, and wood smoke across water. Karin didn't even know those things could be _translated_ into smell, but apparently, they could.

She took two deep breaths, and then pulled herself away from him. She grinned slowly up at him, and then said "I know you want me."

---

He laughed.

He couldn't hold it back - he laughed. Not because of what she said, not because he was mocking her in how wrong she was. He was laughing because she made him laugh - she was... Unpredictable. Suigetsu grinned back at her, a glint in his eyes.

"Oh, I want you. But I know you want me more." His eyes roamed her body: her long legs, her womanly curves, her chest, the way her jeans hugged her hips, the way her shirt complimented her breasts. And then his eyes rose up to her face and he studied her: her pretty red eyes (he caught her dark-red lashes and somehow admired their length and how they made her eyes really breathtaking), her pouty lips, her button-nose...He shook his head.

What the fuck was _that_. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"How about I take you home," he drawled out, "not as a friend, because we're not that... Just because I don't want you to go home alone. It's dark."

He watched her watch him, raising an eyebrow at her slow nod. "Okay..."

Suigetsu nodded and turned around, leading them both out of the house (where the fuck did Kiba go? Did that Mutt even come? He was going to kick his ass tomorrow. Stu-- Oh look, Tinker Bell and the Dead-Last were sleeping. Bah.) and to his car, unlocking the doors and starting the ignition.

When she sat down, closed the door and strapped herself in, he drove her home.

* * *

This is why she hated this convertible. It didn't fuel her desire to go _fast_. She wanted to go _faster_. Until the wind against her skin _hurt_. Until her surroundings _blurred_. She wanted to _fly_.

Ino bit her lip as the beach came into view - almost there, almost there, almost there. She drove faster. Faster, faster, faster, dammit she wanted to go faster. Her grip on the steering wheel clenched and she hit the gas with all her might.

_(I wanna just dance  
But he took me home instead  
Uh-oh! There was a monster in my bed  
We french kissed on a subway train  
He tore my clothes right off)_

It felt like a second later, with her speed, it probably was, before she parked her convertible in a random parking space, made the ignition die, pocket her keys. But it wasn't over. Not yet. Not yet, no, no, no, no. She turned and watched Kiba's car approach her. Adrenaline pumped all the more - she was going to blow up.

She was running, down the sand, running, running.

Because her game wasn't over.

---

And the boardwalk was entirely empty of people, even as Kiba parked in the middle of the road. Ino had already jumped out of her convertible - he'd watched her jump over the door like a pro, damn - and was running down the beach.

She actually wanted him to _catch_ her?

Either she was crazy, or she was the girl of his dreams (part of Kiba was definitely betting on the the latter). He mentally thanked his football experience, and shot after her like a dark-brown blur.

She was fast. He was willing to give her that.

But she wasn't as fast as he was. And her legs weren't as long.

He grabbed her around the waist - her momentum had them both swinging around in the dark like a pair of idiots, and they ended up hitting the sand with a muted 'thump'. Kiba closed his arms around her, again.

"Are you going to _listen_ to me now, you nutcase?" he asked her, face hidden in the dark.

* * *

Karin was half-asleep against the window - stupid Ino had gone and _left_. Then again, Karin thought drowsily, she wasn't much better - she had left Hinata asleep on top of Naruto. _That_ was going to be an awkward wake-up call.

A sleepy giggle escaped her lips, and she snuggled deeper into the warm leather seat. It was simply quiet in the interior of the car, and Karin was very, very close to dropping off to sleep. But the window was cold, and drops of condensation kept running across her cheek, and keeping her awake.

It was kinda nice... Quiet.

And it was about as awkward as anything Karin had ever experienced, ever (this was saying something - she had experienced Sakura's worst-case-scenario boyfriend flirting with other guys _in Sakura's presence_, and Sakura had been entirely oblivious). She shot a sleepy glance over at the boy driving her home.

..._Yum_.

---

Suigetsu was oblivious to Karin's dozing off, to her musing and to her staring. He was into the lights of the city as he went down hill after hill. He smirked at that stupid funny feeling people got as they went down hills at a high speed.

With one hand on the steering wheel, he ran the other one through his hair, licking his lower lip as he made a turn. No, it was because of his good memorizing skills that he remembered where she lived. Nothing else. He beat his inner self to a pulp - that wimp was actually trying to convince him otherwise. Like, hello, _he _was the outer one, _he _knew better. Tch, stupid manifestations.

He massaged his neck as he made another turn, leaning back on his seat as he did so. It wasn't long before they arrived to Karin's house and, after killing the ignition, he turned to her...

...Only to find her half asleep.

* * *

She covered her face with her hands, shaking her head from side to side as she rested on the sand.

"No, no, no, no - lalalalalalalalala," She broke off to giggle before she continued to sing and just distract them both. It's not that she didn't want to hear what he said... It's not that she didn't want him to say it. She just wanted to have fun. And she was having fun.

"Ino--"

"MY NAME IS SHAKE-ZULA THE MIKE RULER, THE OLD SCHOOLER, YOU WANT A TRIP, I'LL BRING IT TO YA." And then she was laughing again, trying in vain to get away from his hold. Believe it or not, but out of their quintet - out of Sakura, Karin, Tenten, Hinata and herself... she was the more playful one. The one that loved to laugh and if others laughed with her it was bonus points.

Peeking at him through her fingers, and through the dark, she saw Kiba giving her a funny look.

"THE WAY YOU SHAKE IT, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I AIN'T EVER SEEN AN ASS LIKE THAT," now she was moving her hips to the beat of the song as it played in her head, "THEY WAY YOU MOVE IT, YOU MAKE MY PEE-PEE GO..." Oh god, would her laughter ever cease for her to finish one of the damn songs she popped out with.

"Ino, you nutcase girl--"

She thrashed, still laughing... But now she was beat-boxing. And as she did this, she looked at him through her finger-cage, a grin on her lips.

---

Kiba just rolled his eyes, her grin mirrored on his face, and kept his arms locked around her. He pulled her up on his chest, and was tempted to cover her up - it was _fucking cold_. But Ino didn't seem to mind, bouncing around the way she was.

He really needed to figured out a way to get her to shut up. Seriously. If she didn't listen, he was going to- to- to kiss her, or something, just to shut her up.

"Hey, Ino, quiet now," he told her, his lips close to her ear. He felt her shiver - crazy girl, she was going to freeze, _why_ hadn't she put on his stupid jacket? It would have made his life a hell of a lot easier. And he wouldn't be having a miniature mental freak-out.

The surf danced with the icey pre-winter wind, and Kiba listened to Ino breathe as the night grew around them.

* * *

"Hey, Toots, wake up, we're here," Karin heard from far, far away.

"Huh-wha?"

Her eyes flickered open, and she looked around. Oh... they were in her driveway. Huh. When had that happened? She must have fallen asleep...

Karin rubbed her left eye and, feeling like a child, unbuckled her seatbelt. She hadn't felt so young in so long - wasn't innocent, wasn't good or pure, or- or any of those things that good girls were. Hell, Ino was less of slut then she was - and Ino was the supposed bleach-blonde stereotype. Karin looked out the window, tucked her hair behind her ear, and opened the car to let herself out.

"Hey," she said softly, "Thanks for the ride home."

---

He stared at her as she got out of his car, turning to him to... thank him.

Suigetsu gave a nod, "Uh-huh."

He shifted in his seat, taking out his cell-phone and checking the time before dumping it in the cup-holder. Suigetsu turned back to her, ice-purple eyes looking at the dark house in back of her. That's probably how his house was right now - dark because there was no one in there... Not until he got there, at least. But her parents were probably sleep--

"You wanna come in for some tea... and _cake_?" she asked, interrupting his train of thought.

Suigetsu blinked and turned back to her, then back at the house before giving a curt nod. He took out his car-keys and stepped outside, locking the doors and then following her inside. Once in there, he looked around, hearing-sense trying to pick up any snores or anything like that. But he heard none.

"Aren't your parents gonna flip?"

* * *

It hit Ino only then, the reason why she had actually left Naruto's house in the first place, before the 'game'. She sat up, a new glitter in her eyes and a broad smile on her lips. Knowing their schedule by heart, she knew that Tom's House of Foolery didn't close until eleven-thirty.

"Vanilla-cookies-'n-cream milkshake, Mama's coming," With the power of Milshake Love, Ino tore Kiba's hold on her away and stood up. He was looking at her now, like, asking _what now_? She was grinning again as she fixed her cami (pull it down, pull it down) and skinnies. "Tom's House of Foolery, duh. Milkshakes are _love_."

"Ino..."

"Ya comin'?" She was already making her way towards the ice-cream shop, humming a song in her head.

---

Kiba just stared at her. Tom's House of Foolery.

What. The. Fuck.

Was _that_ what the ice-cream shop was called? Jeezus, how the _hell_ did it have so many customers with a name like _that_? Kiba just rolled his eyes, shoved his hands in his pockets, and ambled after her. If she wanted to freeze, _fine_.

It only took them two minutes to get to the ice-cream place -_Tom's House of Foolery_, Kiba thought with a snort-, and Ino whipped through the door with practised ease, long blond hair flashing in the glow of the neon 'OPEN' sign. Kiba followed in after her, the chill of the early October evening following in after him before he shut the door.

Ino had goosebumps on her arms, even as she ordered herself the biggest milkshake they had.

And the guy at the counter clearly knew Ino, and was also clearly -to Kiba, at least- leering at her chest. And that just didn't sit at all right with Kiba. He grated his teeth, walked over to her, slung his jacket around her shoulders, and then slipped his arms around her waist. He gave the guy the most possesive glare he could muster, and kept Ino close to him.

And he practically _dared_ the guy to touch her- Kiba would _not_ mind breaking his jaw.

But instead, he leaned down, and said softly "You're cold. Just keep it on 'til we get back to Naruto's, okay?"

* * *

Karin's brain went dead.

Right. Of course he'd ask about her parents. How could she have forgotten about that? She mentally sighed, and looked him straight in the eye. "My parents don't come home, anymore."

He stared at her, dumbstruck, and she just shrugged and smiled the tired smile of someone who had been in the middle of too many emotional battles.

"I told you, they fight a lot. They just... stopped coming home, after a while, rather then deal with each other anymore. And it's not like they can't afford a divorce - mom's a banker, and dad's a lawyer. They're just..." she shrugged again, and let her words trail off. She turned back to the front door, and began searching through her purse for the house key - where had that evil little thing gotten to? She found it two minutes later, and went back to unlocking her house.

Karin heard the lock click, pushed the door open, and waved him in. She flicked the entrance hall light on, just as something curled around her ankles - her pretty, tatty little black kitten. Karin smiled, and swopped down to pick the little cat up. "Aww, look, Percy came to say hi!"

She turned back towards Suigetsu, and smiled a manic, five-year-old's smile, squirming kitten in her arms and all.

---

Suigetsu shook his head and backed away from her.

"Get that thing away from me, Toots," he said, raising his hands in front of him defensively. "You know I hate cats."

Karin, manic smile that he'd actually be proud of, only neared him, kitten still in her arms. He watched her; with every step she took forwards he took one back. "C'mon now, creep - scared of a defenseless little kitten?"

"That thing's a monster - may I remind you that it scratched me last time?" he sneered. "C'mon, quit it."

"Say hi to Percy!"

"No."

"Say hi to Percy first!" He was backed up against her porch, her inches away from him and raising that cat in front of his face. "Say it!"

He looked to the side, trying as hard as he could to get the cat away from him. But Karin was in a rather playful mood and wouldn't allow it. Wherever his face went, so did Percy. Suigetsu pouted, "Karin, quit it."

* * *

Sighing, Ino wrapped herself into the jacket, drowning in his scent. "Whatever floats your boat."

With bright blue eyes, she watched as the guy - okay, she might be a regular, but she so didn't remember the names of the employers - whip up her milkshake. You'd think that she'd hate this place after her relationship with Sasori ended and she figured out... _things _about him. He was the one that introduced her to this place on their first date, and then she introduced the girls (Tenten falling in love with it from the start: "OMAI. TOM'S HOUSE OF FOOLERY?! SUCH A FRICKEN AWESOME NAME!"). But THOF was one of her main places to go. Nothing would break her away from this pretty place.

Kiba's arm around her waist tightened - the cashier must be giving her _the eye_. Ino smirked at this - such a possessive man.

The guy turned around, indicating that her milkshake was prepared. Ino dragged (a growling?) Kiba towards the counter, smiling at the man as he handed her the milkshake which she automatically began to drink - completely missing the way the guy was looking at her.

...Kiba didn't, though.

---

Okay, fuck, this was not cool. If the guy didn't keep his eyes _off_ Ino, there was going to be some serious violence in the _very_ near future.

Kiba felt his eye twitch.

The guy was leaning towards Ino, the leer in his eyes hungry. Ino was totally oblivious, eyes closed happily, while she slurped up that damn milkshake. Crap, this was just _great_. Kiba growled mutely to himself, and pulled Ino away from the counter. "Can we go now? You got your damn milkshake."

Ino gave him a look that probably meant something important, but right then, it flew right over Kiba's head. "You didn't get anything!"

"I don't wan't anything, I'm fine, I just wanna get out of here," he told her quietly, trying to restrain himself from turning around punching the living daylights out of the guy at the counter. Kiba watched his gaze run over Ino's profile twice more.

Fuck, if he didn't get her out of here, he was going to lose it.

He watched Ino set her jaw, blue eyes going stony. Oh fuck, that couldn't be good. "Get some ice cream, Kiba, or I'll get it for you!" she told him.

Fuck, just _fuck_. He didn't want any freakin' ice cream from _this_ douchebag. But he wanted her going back towards said douchebag even less. Kiba clenched his teeth, and went back to the counter. The dude smirked at him, and breathed "Slutty girlfriend you got there. Want to share? I'm sure she'd be cool with it."

Everything around Kiba froze for a second.

And then he _finally_ snapped, and slammed his fist into the guy's jaw.

* * *

Karin blinked, and carefully set Persephone down. The kitten skittered away, claws scraping against the floor as she raced back into the house. Wha-? Had he just-? "Did you just call me by my name?"

Suigetsu looked strangely panicked. He had called her something that wasn't... rude! And he had been _pouting_! Karin stayed where she was, and just looked at him. They were very, very close together. He still smelled nice.

_Focus, Candii, focus_, she told herself, and took a step backward. She waited for another minute, before figuring that he wasn't going to say anything. She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, pushed her glasses up her nose, and then wrapped her arms around herself. It was cold out.

"Uhm... I'm, um, sorry," she said slowly, and turned back towards the house. _Stupid, that was too far! Like always. Idiot_, hissed her conscience, and Karin winced imperceptibly, her stance tightning as she walked back into the front hall. She left the door open, but if he didn't come back in, she wasn't going to blame him.

Karin took a breath. Then she let it out. In and out, breathe girl, breathe.

---

...He...Why did he call her..He... Suigetsu blinked.

At least the damn cat was away from him now. God did he hate those animals. He hated them so much, it wasn't even funny. He preferred Akamaru than that...that... that _thing_. And that thing felt the same way about him, Suigetsu knew. Last thing he wanted was for that thing to scratch his arms, or worse, his face.

His thoughts were cut short when he heard Karin apologize to him and then, wrapping her arms around herself, step inside the house, leaving the door ajar.

Stupid girl, he thought. Shaking his head, Suigetsu walked in after her, closing and locking the door behind him. The hall was still mildly dark, the living room's lights being on cut the darkness in half. He followed the light, watching as Karin casually sat on the couch, arms still wrapped around herself, knees pulled up to her chest.

He looked around the place, catching a family portrait still hanging on the wall. In it, a younger looking Karin stood in between her parents - a proud looking blond man with wine-red eyes glaring at him from behind black framed glasses and a woman with shoulder length crimson hair and the palest of blue eyes. She looked stiffer than the man in her business suit, the man looking totally laid back in his short sleeved polo (which was all that he could see). Karin... Karin looked miserable.

Suigetsu's eyes darted back to the girl, older now than she was in the picture and he suddenly... held some respect for her. He didn't know what the hell was up with her family, but... fuck, it was like she didn't have one at all. Sighing, he sat down next to her on the couch.

"Looking like you do now doesn't suit you, Toots," he drawled out, "Do I have to be a total jackass to get you back to normal?"

A glare was thrown at him, and he laughed.

Then, he neared her, a smirk on his lips. "C'mon, Toots - I want you, remember?"

Karin just smiled, sort of tired and sort of sad, and said "Then shut up and kiss me, please."

"You don't have to tell me twice," he murmured before he smashed his lips to hers.

It was blurry, as he tried to get them both upstairs, trying to find her room... He didn't think it was actually happening... but it was. And before he knew it, he was shirtless, this bipolar girl half naked under him... A very distant part of Suigetsu -one that he thought he had cast away long, long, long ago- decided in secrecy that... If she was as miserably alone as he was...

Maybe they could be alone together.

* * *

Ino stood outside of THOF, seemingly lost out of her mind.

She blinked once, twice, thrice and then she burst into laughter. The kind that made you shed tears, made your stomach clench with the loss of oxygen, made you double over. The thought of having a seething Kiba standing next to her made her laugh all the harder.

_What _had that _douchebag _said to Kiba to make him snap?! It must have been something about her - bad, most definitely. Bah, she was used to guys automatically labeling her easy, even if she wasn't. They didn't know her, so why should she waste her time trying to defend herself against people she only saw once?

Her laughter calmed down and she wiped her tears away. Blinking, she turned to look at Kiba who was still glaring off to the distance; a smile pulled at her lips because he was so adorable. Off of impulse, she wrapped her arms around his middle and leaned her forehead against his shoulder.

"You," she said, her smile evident through her speech, "just got us kicked out of Tom's House of Foolery. I think I just... Wow."

"It's not funny, that douche...That--"

Ino pressed her lips to his.

* * *

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.

.

* * *

Tenten was in the darkness of her new room.

She was still dressed - red skinnies, purple Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends t-shirt, purple and black vans. The only difference was that her hair was loose, falling in waves down to her shoulder-blades; she was frozen in place, staring at nothing in particular.

It's not that Tenten was a full-time insomniac, it happened rarely. It was much worse when her mom had recently died - years later, and it happened ever so often. Today was one of those days. Her brown doe-like eyes were glazed, as if she was in a trance - somewhere else, far from where she actually was.

It was moments like these where her walls tumbled down and the ruthless girl was dominated by the scarred one.

Shaking her head, Tenten stood in a robotic trance, slid her black hoodie over her head, tucking her hair under it so that it was un-viewable. She let the hood stay up her head as she walked out of her room, down the hall, to the front door and out of her new home. Once outside, she hunched her shoulders forwards to make it seem as if she were a male, rather than a girl.

As she walked down the streets, straight, straight, straight, never turning, keep going straight until you get to the edge of the world, Tenten wondered what her friends were doing. She had gotten Hinata's messages, but her new found (and damn straight favorite) hobby in making Hinata's older cousin's life hard prevented her from doing anything.

Speaking of which--

--Tenten decided that Neji sucked.

He was so stiff andandand... awkward. And stupid. And... god could he take a joke properly? NO, HE COULDN'T.

But she had to admit that making him feel flustered and all in all scared for his life brought Tenten some twisted sort of satisfaction. Because, really, he was so stiff and as long as she had to talk to him and as long as he was her slave, Tenten was going to loosen him up. Because he was totally cramping up her style.

Her legs brought her to a playground - empty because no parent would bring their child to a playground at ten-thirty p.m. - because it just wasn't done. Biting at her lip ring, Tenten made her way to the swing and began to swing herself.

Slowly at first, because she was in a weird mood, and then she got higher, and higher, and higher and then her attention switched to the wind blowing at her blunt-cunt bangs. She was laughing now, smiling and laughing because Tenten was a child at heart. Her hood fell off her head and her chocolate-brown hair began to fly behind her, back and forth, forwards and back. Until Tenten let go of the chains and jumped, landing in a cat-like crouch.

"Shouldn't you be at home?"

She looked up and stared at a guy with sunglasses on, lower part of his face hidden behind the high collard of his black Northface jacket and that was complimented by black skinnies and black vans. Tenten appreciated the sexiness.

"Not if you can't sleep."

"T.V.?"

"I felt the house was too stuffy for me tonight."

He nodded and stared at her - at least Tenten thought... She couldn't see his eyes behind those shades. She tilted her head to the side and sucked on her lip ring, "What'cha doing out?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I told you, I can't sleep."

"Neither can I."

Tenten nodded.

"You shouldn't be out alone," he said.

"I have you now, don't I?"

He smirked and nodded, "I suppose," he looked up at the sky, the bottom half of his face now viewable, "it's chilly."

Tenten nodded again, "Yeah. Would... I don't know you..."

"Shino."

Smiling, she pointed at herself, "I'm Tenten."

"Pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure's all mine," oh god. She was flirting. Oh god, she was as bad ad Karin and Ino. "Would you like to go to Luffy's with me, Shino?"

He was still for a second before he nodded and turned towards the general direction to get to Luffy's. Tenten grinned and fell into step with him, talking animatedly about sleepless nights, stupid boys with silver-white eyes and long dark hair, and friends.

She kinda liked that he listened.

* * *

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.

.

* * *

It was ten-thirty and Sasuke was still seething.

There was something about that annoying girl that just... just... _irked _him. He met her, for the first time, in Luffy's and the way she stood up to him (not to mention that she didn't _flail _and _gush _and _throw herself _at him) made him feel some sort of respect towards her - some sort of appreciation that he rarely felt for women.

The second time they met in the park and Sasuke had gotten deeply annoyed when she asked him if he was gay; not to mention that she left faster than Naruto left when there was a ramen sale at the supermarket once he opened the door to the bathroom.

The third time he met with her was because of The Mutt and his Blond-haired Lady-friend and he did something stupid.

He had kissed her.

It was out of impulse, and up to right now Sasuke still didn't know why he did it. He figured it was to prove he was straight - but there were so _many _ways to prove that. So he tried not to think of it and just continue to shove the kiss under the category of 'Just To Prove To You'.

He met with her one last time today. Because of The Dobe and the Fairy-Girl. And she had annoyed him to no end. It's just... she was so _stubborn _and she acted so... so... _strong _like if she were some sort of Wonder Woman that could do anything. Because she really couldn't; sure, she could have some knowledge of some things and she could actually fall through with some others. But she was... she was... god, she was a pain. It annoyed him.

And the way she spoke of Naruto - he'd be damned if he let anyone other than himself know this, but he got mildly protective of him. That girl was fuckin' crazy. And he assumed Fairy-Girl must get annoyed from all the babying and protectiveness Sakura and her other friends felt for her.

Anyway.

Sasuke ran a hand through his hair, his jaw relaxing for a bit before it grew tense again. He sighed and walked out of his room, and down the stairs. Seeing that the lights to the living room were still on, he wandered in there, his eyes catching his mother resting on the couch, a book opened on her lap.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping," he asked her, coming to a stop right next to her.

She looked up and smiled at him, obsidian-black eyes that were identical to his, shining with warmth. "Oh, Sasuke-kun, I thought you were asleep already. I'm just catching up on my reading before I go on upstairs. Is there anything you need? A snack?"

Sasuke shook his head, his hand coming to his mothers head, fingers running through her glossy blue-black locks. "No... I was... I'm just not tired."

"Why don't you meet up with Naruto-kun and the boys," Mikoto questioned.

With his hands still running through his mother's hair, Sasuke shook his head again. "The Dobe's out with his new girlfriend. The others are... I just don't... I don't want to."

"Is something the matter, Sasuke-kun?"

"No," he bent down and placed a soft kiss on his mother's forehead, "I'll just go to bed. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Sasuke-kun," his mother replied, her smile still on her lips.

With another sigh, Sasuke headed back upstairs.

Today sucked more than anything in the world.

Stupid girl that gets emotional with public bathrooms.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa**: OMFG. DO I EVEN NEED WORDS? DO I?! hello, world, i'm in love with you today.  
**sonya**: they tease me. i'm sad. but i love your reviews _(& i'm really excited about my new itasaku & sasusaku stories. i'm sorry if itasaku bothers you, but it's my crack OTP...)._  
**les**: i yell and tell it that it's not my friend. i tear it down, i tear it down and then it's born again. I LOVE THIS CHAPTER. LOVE IT TOO. LOVE IT NAOW.


	13. how to be totally envious of Ccup boobs

hay. hi. hello. wassup. hola. como estan? anywho. thanks for the reviews!  
**dedication: **...to being supportive when a friend needs you, to trying to keep your head out of the gutter and to ramen. because ramen's amazing.  
**disclaimer: **back the fuck up. we don't own a muffin.  
alright. you know who else needs to back the fuck up? the ones that keep demanding, whining and whatever for a sasusaku. has the thought of the lack of sasusaku meaning that when it comes it's going to be amazingly epic ever occur to you? has it? because it will. stop bombing us with demands and whines. it'll come when it comes. also, i'd like to add, if you dislike a character - keep that opinion to yourself, you're offensive to the ones that do like said character. kthxzbai.

* * *

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* * *

To: runwithskizzers; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwaygoddess  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject:_ We're hooking Sakura up. No objections, and NO TELLING HER, INO_

Read subject, and help Hinata!

Naruto-kun and I have realized that Sakura & Sasuke are penpals. (DO NOT LET THEM KNOW. ON PAIN OF DEATH, I AM NOT KIDDING.)  
We figure the best way to do that is to keep bringing them together, so they don't have a chance to breathe, and so that they keep clashing.

Uhm, Ino, I think you already ended up doing that accidentally... something about skating?  
And Naruto-kun and I took them out to lunch together (I am not blushing, I am not blushing, ASFHJKL, I'M BLUSHING), and so... uhm...

Karin? Tenten? Your turn! :)

Sincerely,  
Hina-chan

* * *

To: runwithskizzers; dancelikenooneiswatching; moonsightdarklight  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _what makes you think i'd tell something amazing like that?! FLAIL._

OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD.

YAY.

I AM SO IN. LIKE, FER SERIOUSLY.  
....Can I have a second turn? Yes? Please? C'MON. THAT ONE DIDN'T COUNT.

(Sasuke's totally hot, btw. Just thought I'd inform.)

DUDE.

WE'RE AWESOME.

lessthanthree  
Ino

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; runwaygoddess; moonsighdarklight  
From:runwithskizzers  
Subject_:_ _LAAAAAAME. LAAAAAAAME._

Are you, like, fer serious? I mean. Dude.

Well... I do hate seeing Saks down on the dumps because of that lame idiot.  
I guess I'm in.... Only for Saks. I wouldn't do it otherwise.

I'll see what I can do.

See ya,  
Tenten

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight; runwithskizzers; runwaygoddess  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject_: I'm being relegated to this, aren't I? eff-you all_

You're leaving this to me?  
(Tenny, ily, but, like, seriously. You'd kill the kid for even _looking_ at you / Sakura / anyone whoever you were with wrong.  
PLEASE DON'T KILL ME.)

Mrrflr.  
My dad sent a cheque, let's party.

-Karin

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _I am bored._

And Kakashi's class sucks now that he has a girlfriend.  
Seriously.  
I almost miss his pervy-ness...

So, uh, yeah.  
I'm bored. And I kind of want to go swimming.  
And I think you should take me.  
Bring that awkward friend of yours - not the Dead-Last (I would be killed), and not Mutt (once again, I would be killed). The dark one, apparently?

Please?

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _That makes two of us._

You miss his pervy-ness.  
Aren't girls always talking about how much they hate that?

You want to go swimming. In the middle of your class.  
Oh, wait. I get it. Hah.

Why the hell does the Prick have to come? Hell no.

No.

-Sharky

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _Aren't you in Psych? With Machete's new mom?_

Eh, I dunno. His nostalgic/dreamy looks have gotten more frequent (and they're the scariest things _ever_), and his dirty jokes have gotten less frequent...  
I'd be willing to take the jokes back if he wouldn't look so damn _creepy_.  
And yeah, we do hate his pervy-ness, but we all agree... him having a girlfriend is just scary.

Yes. I want to go swimming.  
After school, stupid.

Pleeeeease?  
I'll get down on my knees!

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Yeah. But she's not being a bitch like she usually is. Well... not as much._

Ew. He sounds lovestruck. That's not cool at all.  
I agree with you guys, he should go back to being a perv.

No, I'm not taking you. You can go alone.

No.  
....And how will that help you?

-Sharky

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _I am not worried about our chances of escape - Kakashi's not paying attention to me anyways, he's glaring at Machete's phone. It's funny._

Yeah, kinda. And it's creepy.  
See?! EVERYONE AGREES.

Pleasepleaseplease take me?  
PLEASE? Superstar'll kill me if I back out!

It'll help because I'm pretty and good at the puppy-dog-eyes?  
And why else do you think it'll help, hm?

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _...You're going to skip class? Those are points off for your graduation._

It IS creepy. Like, what the fuck.  
Yes. I see. He should man-up and dump the chick.

No. I said no already.  
Good, go with her and leave me alone because I am _not _taking the Prick.

I could care less about puppy-dog-eyes.  
I don't know, I'm the one asking you. Smirk.

-Sharky

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _My attendance record is perfect. I have Kakashi for the rest of the day. I could tell him to his face that I was leaving, and he could care less._

Exactly what I told him.  
Something tells me that's not gonna happen - I think she's got him pretty whipped.  
Probably good sex, or something.

You have absolutely NO IDEA why I want this to happen, do you?  
YOU ARE STUPID. I'm trying to hook them up; apparently Dead-Last and Snow White realized they have a thing, or something.  
And Piglette was all for it. So here I am.  
Do you really think I would be asking, otherwise?

Suuuuure you could. Admit it, you think I'm cute.  
Don't start with me, I don't care if you _are_ older then I am, I am not a whore.

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Huh. That's interesting._

Damn right he's whipped. It's sickening.  
Good sex. It's got to be that. Or maybe she's a sadistic bitch and he's frightened.

No, I didn't have a clue. But now I do.  
And I'm tempted to say no again. Because the Prick... having a thing with someone?  
I don't think so. That's just not done. I'm going to be scarred.

But fine, just to get you off my case.

I could. And I'm not admitting anything like that. It's ridiculous.  
Hah. Okay, you're the one thinking wrong - that wasn't even on my mind.

-Sharky

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _Isn't it?_

Sickening? Completely. Scary? Definitely. Strangely cute-because-we-never-thought-it-could-happen? Totally.  
Or both, in which case it would be hilarious.

YAAAAAAY.  
I love you, right now.

It's also true. Why not stop lying to yourself?  
Wait, never mind, you just stabbed the Truth in the stomach.

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Yeah, it is._

What the fuck - cute? What? No.  
It's just lame. Period.

Huh. How adorable.

I'm not lying to myself, you're just hoping too hard.  
...I have no idea what you're going on about.

Be ready or I'll leave by myself to go check some _nice _stuff out.

-Sharky

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _You're boring, did you know?_

No, seriously! He jumps every time he gets an email.  
It's highly amusing.  
And stop being a jerk and agree with me.

Don't make me hurt you.

Ewh, hope is icky, get over yourself.  
I know you don't which just makes it funnier.

Please, I'm always ready.  
And once again, get over yourself, creep.

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _That's not what you always say, Toots._

Ah, stop spamming me, woman.

Get out of your class now. I'll be there in ten.

-Sharky

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _And you don't always deny that I'm cute, Jailbait._

I do not spam.

Front of the school? I'll see you in ten.

-Candii

* * *

Suigetsu looked up and nudged at Sasuke who was dozing off in his seat.

Blinking and an annoyed look coming to face by default, Sasuke turned to him and glared. "What the fuck," he snarled.

Suigetsu rolled his eyes and ignored him. Sasuke was such a girl - he _hated _being woken up. He should be used to it by now - like the time Naruto, Kiba and him crashed his house and threw themselves on top of the sleeping Sasuke who bolted off of the bed, but his feet tangled in the blanket and he landed flat on his face on the floor. Ah, those days were amazing.

"Let's get the fuck out of here."

Sasuke's glare hardened, "No...what the fuck?"

Suigetsu shrugged, "Let's leave."

"Why... Where?"

"Because Anko sucks and wherever we end up at."

Sasuke stared at him long and hard before he snorted, "I don't think so."

"Dude," Suigetsu rolled his eyes, "We have about thirty minutes left and Anko's sitting on her desk like a complete fatass. Ibiki isn't even here. Let's get the hell outta here. Or are you scared?"

Ha, he got him now.

Sauske's eyes narrowed into slits, "I'm not scared."

"No, I think you are."

"I'm not."

"No, no, it's okay. You can't take the challenge."

Sasuke growled and stood up, packing his things and storming out of the room. Suigetsu grinned and stuffed his things into his backpack. He stood up, and turned to give Naruto a nod, their eyes connecting and a memo was passed - Naruto wasn't _that _stupid... he understood.

Suigetsu smirked and led Sasuke towards the Corvette.

* * *

Karin stretched, grabbed Sakura's arm, and promptly dragged her out of the classroom. "Kaka-sensei, we're going to the bathroom!"

He didn't even look up from his porn - he just waved them off, and Karin knew that he knew that they were leaving. He was just too lazy to care.

Sakura looked bothered. "What are you- Karin?! The bathroom is down _that_ hall. How could you get that mixed up?!"

"We're going swimming, stupid, like I promised we would. I know you have your bikini packed - because you're a freak, and you always have it on you, and because I told you to pack it this morning - and it's gonna be fun. So stop complaining, and come on, we have a ride!"

Sakura just huffed, and allowed Karin to lead her out of the building, and into the weak October sunshine.

Karin whipped out her phone. Time to let the girls know what was going on; Ino would probably be wondering. Predictably, there were three texts; two from Ino, and one from Hinata. Karin ignored all three of said texts, and immediately started a new one.

**From: Candii  
To: Hina-chan; Piglette; Tenny  
phase one complete. we're about to get picked up, & then we're going _swimming_. love&kisses, people!**

Karin sent it off with a slight smile, and watched in smooth, smug satisfaction as a very attractive silver Corvette pulled quietly up to the curb. Karin nodded at it, and headed towards it, and Sakura could only stare at it in disbelief. "Karin, what are you-?"

Karin just laughed, and called over her shoulder with a wink "Stop _worrying_ so much, Sak! Oh, and, uh, _shot-gun_, honey!"

* * *

Suigetsu smirked at the cringe Sasuke gave.

"Fuck no, I'm not going wherever you...No. Just. No. You....No," Sasuke shook his head and...Just no. No. Absolutely not. No. It was... Sasuke hated when he sputtered, it meant he was affected. NO SHUT UP IN THERE, STOP IT.

"Ah shut up and go to the back, Emo-Prince."

Suigetsu laughed as he caught Sasuke twitch before he opened the door, got out and doubled over the passenger's seat and took his seat at the back. "Fuck you, Sharkbait. Fuck. You. I hope some bitch you fuck chops your balls off you little piece of shit."

"Yeah, I adore you too."

Sasuke growled and crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking out the window and not at all paying attention to the girls that arrived.

Suigetsu, though, did pay attention, and he watched Karin's (wonderful, wonderful) black sheer-tights-covered legs; his eyes roamed up, taking in her gray skirt and her deep red shirt before his eyes stopped on her face. He stared at her, watching her push the pink-haired girl forwards and barking at her to get inside the car. Once the stubborn pink-haired girl did, Karin pulled the seat back to it's rightful position and took her seat.

Without a word, Suigetsu took off to their new destination: the water park.

* * *

Karin could only smirk, smirk, smirk. Hel-_lo_, she had _seen_ that wonderful twitch on Sakura's face - and _that_ was what Sakura got for not telling her about whatever the hell it was that was going on between her and the guy who was getting in the back of the car (because, hi? Karin was not above revenge).

Karin put a hand over her mouth and _smirked_. Well-well-well, this was going to be amusing.

She curled herself comfortably in the passenger seat, arranged her skirt, and sent Suigetsu an unconscious, small, barely-there smile.

"Do you guys have swim trunks, or something?" she asked. Nothing like making a car ride uncomfortable.

* * *

Suigetsu thought about it as they came to a stop at a red-light. He blinked, thinking of the _emergency _clothes he kept in his trunk - none of that were good for swimming; boxers, wife-beaters, skinnies and t-shirts. Nah... that would make it difficult to move around in the water.

"Oi, Emo-Prince, you wouldn't happen to have some trunks on you, would you?"

Sasuke, turned to look at Suigetsu, their eyes meeting on the rear-view-mirror; as per usual, Sasuke looked apathetic and annoyed, no change in there. "Yes, I do. Because I'm an idiot that carries around swimming clothes for special occasions like these."

"So you do?"

"No."

Suigetsu snorted and rolled his eyes - Sasuke was still bitter about coming along in their adventure. "Looks like we're going to the mall."

"Oh _joy_."

Yeah, Sasuke was _definitely _bitter.

* * *

When they got there, Sasuke thought of an escape plan; but none seemed good enough for him. Walking away would seem the natural thing to do, but... How would he get home? The Mutt and The Dobe? Hell no. Hyuuga? Even worse. And don't get him started on that lame brother of his - that idiot seemed to be down on the dumps. Which made Sasuke inwardly cheer, but still.

So Sasuke just decided to go along with this stupidity until he found a way to leave; the tension he felt around the girl that got emotional with public bathrooms was bugging him to no end.

Her not talking to anyone at all since she got inside the car caused the bugging to expand.

Stupid girl that got emotional with public bathrooms.

* * *

**_How To Shop for Swim Trunks  
As demonstrated by Sasuke Uchiha and Suigetsu Hōzuki_**  
_(observations made by Sakura Haruno and Karin)_

**Step One: Choose The Perfect Store**

The foursome walked into the mall, already buzzing with conversations made by middle schoolers, high schoolers ditching school, college teens that had no classes (or whose classes finished), business people, housewives, trophy-wives, the list went on.

Through the mob, Sasuke, Suigetsu, Karin and Sakura weaved themselves around, walking pass, through, in between couples mobs of friends, and the like. While doing this, they'd keep their eyes peeled for a store that'd sell good quality (and nice looking) swim-trunks.

Suigetsu, dressed in light blue skinnies, black t-shirt and black converses, raised an eyebrow. "Abercrombie?"

"Isn't that the store with the stupid looking male models," Sasuke questioned, pocketing his hands inside the pouch-pocket of his red pull-down hoodie (which, just to inform, was complimented by light gray skinnies and black, beat up vans with red-laces).

The fair-haired teen snorted, "Yeah - those idiotic male-models do look like total fags."

Sasuke nodded and smirked.

With a smirk of his own, Suigetsu peered at his friend, "How about Forever 21?"

"Hell no," Sasuke said.

Next to them, the girls snorted.

"American Eagle?"

"No."

Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

"Fuck it, let's just go to Pac-Sun," he said in a drawl.

Sasuke sighed as well as he followed him towards the general direction of the store. Karin and Sakura gave each other a look as they went.

**Step Two: Make Sure You Search The Men's Section **

The two boys heard snickering, but they chose to ignore it as they delved in the thought of _what fag would wear such short shorts and did he like showing his hairy legs to the world? _

With a crinkled nose in distaste, Suigetsu tried another rack; from his side, Sasuke turned to a table. At the sign, Sasuke's blood ran cold at the utter stupidity he and Suigetsu committed - he blamed Suigetsu, though. That guy's slow-ness was contagious.

"Suigetsu you fuckin' dumbass," Sasuke hissed, storming towards the guy who was rubbing his chin in thought, "do you realize what section we're at?!"

Blinking, Suigetsu stared at Sasuke as if he'd grown another head, "Uh... Yeah? Men's section, duh. Though, I'm beginning to catch on that only fag--"

"Idiot! This is the _women's _section!"

It took a moment, but when it made sense in his head, Suigetsu's already pale skin turned paler. "Oh, fuck me sideways. What the fuck!"

They heard snickering from behind them and when they whirled around, Karin and Sakura had smirks on their lips as they snickered and all in all looked smug. Suigetsu and Sasuke looked livid.

"You knew," the amethyst-eyed teen accused.

"Well duh," Karin snorted, "it was amusing."

"And you didn't plan on telling us," Sasuke concluded.

Sakura gave a wide-eyed blink that denied any wrong doing. "Of course we were going to. It's just... I, at least, figured that you two were going to stop denying your undying love for each other."

"Aw, you guys suck."

**Step Three: Decide What's Your Style**

"Black."

"Dude, they have black on these too!"

"No. Black."

"Stop being a douche! Look! It's half off and everything."

"I don't care. I want all black."

"Sasuke, stop being a fuckin' douche."

"I am _not _wearing flowers."

"They're not flowers, idiot! They're Hawaiian... decorations. Yeah."

"No."

"Sasuke."

"No."

"Would you--"

"I'm getting these."

"You _suck_."

**Step Four: Make Sure You Got Everything Before You Pay**

As he was going to hand the clerk his credit card, it dawned on Suigetsu that, no, he was _not _going to walk in swim trunks, shirtless and with _converses_. Growling he turned to look at Sasuke who was in the same position: handing the clerk his credit card. "Dude, we can't walk around barefoot."

Sasuke froze, "What."

"What d'you mean 'what'? I said we can't walk around barefoot."

"Sir..."

Suigetsu gave the clerk an agitated look, "One second."

He turned his back on her and looked around the store, catching two barrels filled with flip-flops. Personally, he hated wearing those things, but... fuck... he didn't want to be inside the mall any longer and going to search for some other sort of sandals was not on his to-do list. He sighed and turned back to Sasuke, nudging his chin at the barrel with the bigger looking flip-flops. "There..."

"Oh great, flip-flops."

"Dude, I know."

"I still blame you."

"Fuck you."

They dug around for about five minutes (ignoring Karin and Sakura) until they found the right pair: black for Sasuke, black with teal and purple for Suigetsu. The two went back to their respective cashier and handed the sandals and then their credit cards.

With triumphant smirks, the two walked out of Pac-Sun, Karin and Sakura trailing them with amused looks.

* * *

Karin tossed her hair. How on earth was she supposed to be setting Sakura and Sasu-face (she had no idea where the nickname came from - it just was so against everything that Sasuke seemed to be, it just _fit_) up, if they wouldn't even _speak_ to each other?

And so Karin decided it was time to take drastic measure. And that meant she was going to have to make it ridiculously awkward. And that meant _skipping_ like a school-girl.

Karin proceeded to feel sick with herself for even considering it.

Instead, she sped up a little, and caught the very tips of Suigetsu's fingers. Yes, she was considering suicide. But it was better then _skipping_. (...Then again, there was very little that was _worse_ then skipping.)

She stuck her tongue out at him before he could get a word in, and all she said was "Can we go, _now_?!"

* * *

Blinking, Suigetsu looked down at their intertwined hands and then looked back up at him. "...Why are you touching me so familiarly?"

Because, _no_, he did _not _like her holding his hand (SHUT UP INNER THING. THIS WAS NOT OKAY.) because then pretty girls (like that sexy girl that just passed... damn she had a nice ass) would not know that _no_, he is _not _taken.

Dammit.

Karin raised an eyebrow and smirked. Suigetsu did not like that smirk.

Next thing he knew, she let go of his hand, stopped walking and stood there in her place. Suigetsu almost thought he had hurt her feelings, almost. And he was almost ready to apologize. Almost.

That was before she jumped on his back.

* * *

Okay, probably _not_ the smartest thing to do. He'd probably just toss her off. And, hi? That would hurt, and Karin was not in the mood for road-burn. But she wanted a piggy back ride, and she knew he was strong enough to hold her weight (hm-yes, definitely strong enough).

So she wrapped her arms around his neck, dug her knees into his sides, and said loudly enough for Sakura and Sasu-face to hear (she watched them both wince, satisfaction growing by the second) "Giddy-yap, cowboy. We're going swimming, and I need a _ride_."

And then she leaned down, and murmured in his ear "And besides. You didn't mind me touching you a week ago..."

"You're fuckin' crazy, Toots," he muttered back, but even so, she felt his hands curl around her thighs, and hoist her up, to keep her from falling. She shot a glance at a scandalized Sakura, and was very, very tempted to giggle her head off.

Karin smiled against his neck.

* * *

Suigetsu sighed long and hard.

This girl was _too _much to handle. Her bipolar tendencies _freaked _him out and god. Just... just... He mentally shook his head. Karin was weird. And fuckin' crazy. Suigetsu glared at the people staring at them - he almost froze completely when he felt her smile against his neck.

It made him shiver. Almost... Almost noticeably.

This girl damn well broke his balls. Figuratively, of course. But still. He squeezed his hold on her thighs and smirked at her barely audible squeak.

...That annoying part of him decided he liked her scent. A light, distinctive floral perfume... it was mixed, though, the scent - with strawberries and... and... a metallic tang. Yeah, that annoying part of him was right - her scent was.... was addictive.

Bittersweet addiction.

* * *

Sasuke was smirking.

It wasn't even a smirk, it was a grin. He was _grinning _because oh fucking hell, Suigetsu was _whipped. _It was something that would literally cause him to _laugh _and the only reason he wasn't doing that is because he's in public. But fuck, this shit was too fucking hilarious.

Suigetsu.

Was _whipped._

And the best part about it?

He didn't even _know_.

As he walked behind the _couple_ along with the girl that got emotional with public bathrooms, he watched as the redhead-girl jumped on Sharkbait's back... And his grin only broadened when he saw Suigetsu's hands curl around the girl's thighs.

_WHIPPED._

HE WAS SO _WHIPPED._

Sasuke snickered.

* * *

Sakura _did not like_ this situation.

She was being ditched, _again_. Hi? That was _not the way_ this was supposed to go! She and Karin were supposed to go swimming, but, like, this? _This was not cool_. This was worse then studying for final pre-med exams. And that was saying a lot - pre-med was Sakura's worst nightmare (only after, oh, finding out that you may have turned your boyfriend gay. _Great timing_, world, _thanks_ ever so much).

Sakura huffed, and crossed her arms over her chest, and shot a glance at Pretty Boy.

...It really was too bad that he was such a jerk. He was really very attractive.

And Karin was really not being a very good friend. How rude. Walking behind the two -since when had Karin, of all people, had a boyfriend? Wasn't that, like, against her religion, or something?- was far more then a little awkward.

And Sasuke was... Sasuke was _smirking_.

And it was _beyond scary_.

"What are you _grinning_ about?" Sakura hissed at him out of the side of her mouth, glaring out of the corner of her eye best she could.

She started smirking when his devilish grin disappeared.

Much better. Now she could start enjoying herself.

* * *

His smirk disappeared for a quick second at her voice.

It was being directed towards him. As in... she was _talking _to him.

Sasuke turned to her, facial expression on it's default impassiveness. Then he turned back to the scene;... Oh... Suigetsu _just _gave the redhead's thighs a squeeze. Sasuke's grin was back in place as he took note, took mental pictures.

"Blackmail," he said in his deep voice.

The palm of his hand rested on the glass of the mall's door, glaring at the dumbass that just _threw it _at him and... the girl that got emotional with public bathrooms. He pushed it open, walked out and held it open for her, holding it until the next people took a hold of it.

He was many things, but polite was on top of his list - he just ignored it most of the time. But what the fuck. Once in a while was alright.

"Blackmail?" Sakura hissed at him as they zigzagged through the parking lot, towards Suigetsu's silver corvette.

Sasuke nodded, "Yes. Blackmail on Suigetsu." He was grinning again, "If that fucker chooses to fuck with me, he's going to get blackmailed and he's not going to like it."

After that, he kept quiet. Because... Just because.

* * *

Sakura just stared at him. What the fuck, _blackmail_? He really didn't seem the type. Then again, Sakura didn't know him, but who cared? Karin was being bothersome, and this was just getting _ridiculous_. If she didn't know better, she would think her friends were setting her up.

But, seriously. They liked her too much to do that.

Right?

She narrowed her eyes.

Right.

...

Why was he so damn _quiet_? Didn't he ever speak? Sakura puffed her cheeks out, and glared at the ground. This wasn't going well. She could hear Karin laughing like a loser from up ahead, and Sakura was tempted to throw something at them, just to get them to make more noise, and make this walk less awkward.

Because _that_ was going to happen.

She was going text Karin. And she was going to scream at her. Because this was _just not cool_.

**From: Sak-ura  
To: Candii  
okay. can we go now please? & will you stop being being so skanky? kthnxbai**

A faint shriek and a half later, and Sakura knew her text had been received. She smirked a little, in a way highly reminiscent of Karin. Oh, _payback_, how we love thee...

**From: Candii  
To Sak-ura  
classy, Sak, real classy. & eff off, betch, we're almost at the car.**

Sakura could only roll her eyes, and snap her phone closed. Seriously. Karin was so annoying, sometimes.

She shot another glance at the Pretty Boy on her left. Why, oh _why_ did he have to look so much like Sai? This was just getting depressing. Her arms were still wrapped around her middle, and she hugged herself. Because, really, she just needed -and damn well _deserved_- a hug right now.

Sakura went back to glaring at the ground.

* * *

Karin could only laugh as she slipped off Suigetsu's back. Poor guy had freaked when her phone had vibrated against her boob - Karin had been wondering when Sakura was going to lose it. It was always amusing when she did, and apparently, this was just not a good day for Sak.

"I apologize," Karin told him seriously, a grin twitching across her face.

Seriously, this day was just going too great. That couldn't be a good thing - Karin wanted to be paranoid.

But, honestly?

She just didn't have the energy, or the motivation to be paranoid.

And Suigetsu was _really_ cute.

* * *

He opened the trunk, and dumped his bag in there along with the other crap he kept around; he left it open for Sasuke, calling out a "close it, Prick" over his shoulder as he made his way to the driver's seat. When he sat down, and did the necessary, he ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

...He did _not _like his insides right now.

They were being complete _douche bags_. Like, seriously. Since when was there a voice inside his head? Well... That little dude was always there, but since when did it fuckin' swoon over a girl? Who only happens to be a booty call? Like, seriously. It was just not done. Not done at all.

And those stupid butterflies that just decided that his stomach's a hotel? Yeah, they needed to back the fuck up.

Suigetsu glared at the car parked in front of him, ignoring one of his four best friends taking sliding inside (after closing the trunk, of course), ignoring the girl that perhaps was going to be said best friend's new catch, and definitely ignored the girl that slid in the seat next to his.

He gripped the steering wheel, started the engine and backed out of the parking space before heading towards their new destination.

"Alright," he said rather stiffly, "to the waterpark."

* * *

It was silent in the interior of the car.

...

It was silent in the interior of the car.

...

It was silent in the interior of the car.

...

It was _still freakin' silent_, and Karin was getting annoyed.

Okay, so she kind of hated awkward silences. And this was seriously awkward. Sakura was pouting in the seat behind her, and Sasu-face kept sending every one covert doom glances. Pfft, he had nothing on Ino when she was pissed, so Karin wasn't even a little bit worried.

...

GOD, THERE HAD TO BE SOMETHING - and then Karin realized that there was an iPod jack. iPod jack + Karin = beautiful things, and she grinned as she reached for the knob. Oh dear, they were probably all going to hate her after this...

BUT SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE. SERIOUSLY. THIS WAS NOT COOL, ANYMORE.

And besides.

The only thing that could make this ride more awkward, while destroying that evil silence was nineties boys bands (hey, Karin was a nineties kid - the Back Street Boys had _nothing_ on Five. _No-thing_. And honestly, after seeing Nick Carter dressed as a fat mummy, there was just no going back. None). She tugged her iPod out of her purse, and clicked it into the jack, and started to spin the dial.

From behind her, Karin practically _felt_ Sakura's eyes going wide, and her old friend yelped "DON'T LET HER-"

But it was too late.

_(If you wanna dance, this is our chance  
If you wanna dance, let's take a chance  
If you wanna dance, this is our chance  
If you wanna dance, let's take a chance)_

Karin was already grooving, and laughing at the horrified looks on the other occupants of the car.

"What?" she shouted, even as she turned the music up louder. It was practically pounding through the car - ohh, Suigetsu had good subs. Life was _so good_.

_(Jiggy jump to the beat  
Keep bouncin', 30 seconds and counting  
Hot one, this choice is critical  
Situation is difficult  
My calibre won't allow me to rhyme  
On a level where you people can hear me  
See me, guess I know you wanna be me  
In the meantime bounce to the beat  
Sing-)_

* * *

Suigetsu twitched as he entered the freeway.

His speed was picking up and _what the fuck _were they _listening _to? He glared at the iPod, and then turned to glare at the girl who was.... He blinked, turning to the road for a second before going back to staring at... Karin dancing in her seat. His ice-purple eyes scanned her, slowly, slowly and.... Damn.

"Keep your eye on the road, dipshit," Sasuke snarled.

Suigetsu blinked and shook his head, snapping his attention back to the road. He glared at Sasuke through the rear-view-mirror. Sasuke was glaring back; _this is your fault, you fuckin' idiot_, readable in his black eyes.

"Shut the fuck up," he mouthed with a sneer.

Sasuke smirked.

Suigetsu didn't like that smirk.

Blinking and trying to convince himself that, no, Sasuke was not being a douche for once and he was not planning something awful. He turned towards Karin again and glared.

"Would you quit that dancing and turn this shit off?!"

* * *

Karin smiled sweetly. "Nope! Sakura, you're with me, right?"

___(Music is my life 'coz my life is music  
The beat of the drum in your heart...)_

That got her what was probably the most awesome deadpan look she'd ever gotten in her entire life. This was great. This was _so freakin' great_. "No! You fail and I don't want to be your friend anymore because _you majorly suck_!"

Karin just laugh-laugh-laughed, and opened her window. The gush of cold-wet air was electrifying against her skin, and she threw an arm out into the moist oxygen, crimson hair whipping in the sudden onslaught of soaking-wet wind.

_(Let's dance! Like you mean it, can't ya feel it, don't you know?  
Let's dance! Cause you need it, better believe it, here we go!  
Let's dance! Give yer all when we come together on the floor.  
Let's dance! You know that you got what I like!)_

The shrieks of "CLOSE THAT FUCKING WINDOW, YOU BITCH!_" _were music to Karin's ears. She grinned when she shot a look up into the rearview, and saw that Sakura was cowering, almost literally as physically close to Sasu-face as she could be, without touching him.

And _Karin_ was the whore? Tut, tut, Sak-u-ra!

And out came the cell phone - with the window still open, and streaming cold air through her hair.

**From: Candii  
To: Sak-ura  
YOU LUUUUUURVE HIMMM. & admit it, you love Five as much as i do.**

She got the reply less then a minute later, even as the music blared.

_(Check it down! Dropping verbal bombs on the beat.  
Hoping that you people think the sound is unique.  
Cause I like to party, you like to party,  
Come on everybody, got to get it started!  
I got something... to get ya jumping,  
When I kick a freaky rhyme I get the dance floor thumping.  
Just step back and take time to check.  
When I rock up on the mic, you people never forget.  
So check it out...)_

**From: Sak-ura  
To: Candii  
i'm amazed your mother didn't drown you at birth. maybe i can help with that - cyanide induces choking?**

Karin just laughed some more.

* * *

Sakura was quietly plotting Karin's death via cyanide.

Seriously.

No joke.

* * *

Sasuke groaned and shifted in his seat, his right knee now touching Sakura's. He flinched at the touch, but just to show himself that he was not affected, he let the knee stay there. She was _sitting _a little to close to him. It was _her _fault.

He closed his eyes and pulled the hood of his red pull-down hoodie over his head, bangs now covering his eyes. Sasuke then shoved his hands inside the pouch-pocket and tried in vain to block out the horrible music.

"I am going to die," he muttered.

* * *

Suigetsu was livid after about ten minutes into the freeway.

"WOULD YOU TURN THIS SHIT OFF, KARIN," he snarled. "I can't fuckin' concentrate with these fags singing their mediocre music!"

His grip on the steering wheel was clenching now, knuckles white. God, he knew she was doing it on purpose. He knew it. She was a psycho. A complete psycho. Suigetsu turned to look at her still dancing in her seat, still ignoring him. He glared and poked her side with one of his hands.

"TURN IT OFF."

....It only caused him to freeze when he heard her laugh.

* * *

"Still not turning it off~!" Karin sing-songed, laughter being her primary means of communication, at this point. Seriously, they had no idea what good music was. THIS WAS EPIC.

_(Music is my life cause my life is music,  
The beat of the drum in your heart!  
Let's dance! Like you mean it, can't ya feel it, don't you know?  
Let's dance! Cause you need it, better believe it, here we go!  
Let's dance! Give yer all when we come together on the floor.  
Let's dance! You know that you got what I like!)_

Karin was sad - she could see the swimming pool from here, and they'd be there in less then two minutes - she wouldn't even get to listen to the full song. And that was depressing, because it was _so freakin' fun_. Altho', Suigetsu did look a little bit ill... Karin gave him an odd look, and clicked the music off. Seriously, if he was _that_ against it, _fine_, he could _be_ like that. He was just absolutely _no fun at all_.

Karin stuck out her tongue, and muttered "You _suck_, did you know that?"

* * *

Suigetsu stared at her sticking her tongue out at him.

"Put that tongue," He began, lowly so only the two of them could hear, "back in your mouth. Or I'll put it in mine." He smirked as he made a right turn and exited the freeway, and headed towards the Waterpark. He kept his eyes on the road, trying hard to fight back the urge to look at Karin's reaction.

Stupid flaily dude in his head. Stupid drunken butterflies in his stomach.

Who did they think they were?

Tch.

* * *

Karin just smirked. She breathed back "Oh? Is that a threat, or a promise?"

And mentally, she prayed _'Please do not let Sakura hear this, for I will never get away from her evilness if she does. And, seriously, that would just be deeply uncool. So, whoever is up there, are we clear? Sakura doesn't hear, and I stop being such a bitch to strangers? Maybe? Good? Good.'_

Of course, there was the slight matter of that indecently sexy look he was sending her - Karin was going to have to do something about that. The fact that he could do that _without trying_... well, that just wasn't fair. But Karin was female. And therefore had much more weaponry at her disposal.

And, hell, she was _so_ not above not using said weaponry.

They parked near the front doors - it wasn't that packed, and as she got out, Karin adjusted her shirt. Hm, cleavage, _yes_. Definitely the way to go. Skanky? Oh, yes, but at least it _worked_ (she watched a guy walk into a pole, he was so busy being distracted by her chest. _Win_). Karin grabbed her bag, promptly pulled a grumbling Sakura out of the back, and headed straight towards the water-park entrance.

"C'mon!" she called the two males over her shoulder, sending them a devious grin.

And with that, she marched Sakura inside, to let the adventures begin.

* * *

Suigetsu and Sasuke stood next to each other, watching the two girls walk off; Sasuke had his hood still on, his hair falling in front of his face, hands inside the pouch-pocket, Suigetsu had his arms crossed and a frown on his lips.

"Only they would want to swim in the middle of October," Sasuke drawled, slowly shaking his head.

Suigetsu mimicked his movements, "Dude...."

Sighing, Sasuke began to slowly move towards them and the entrance of the pool; Suigetsu moved towards the trunk of his car, opening it and getting the two Pac-Sun bags out of there before reclosing it. He shoved one of the bags at Sasuke and the two walked side by side. Glaring at the two girls.

"You shouldn't piss me off," Sasuke commented lightly.

Suigetsu's eyes narrowed, "What the fuck--"

Sasuke turned to look at him with a smirk, "I'm sure the the guys would love to hear how _whipped _you are." Sasuke snickered; it was almost passable to be a laugh. "And you make fun of the Mutt? You're worse than him."

Suigetsu glared and shoved the teasing Sasuke forwards.

Sasuke couldn't help but chuckle in amusement.

* * *

Sakura did not like being dragged around. Really. It did absolutely nothing for her temperment. But then again, Karin had never been one to do as she was told - and frankly, Sakura sometimes wondered if she had even ever had a chance.

She grumbled, and tried to adjust the death grip Karin had on her arm, even as she was steered through the automatic sliding front door. She wrinkled her nose delicately at the acrid scent of chlorine that had wound itself through the air particles, and bonded itself there, so securely.

Karin pulled Sakura -"ASGFKL, LEMME GO, I LIKE THAT ARM WHERE IT IS, BETCH,"- towards the counter, in a rather violent manner.

That was _it_.

Sakura was not going to stand for this abuse. Because it just sucked.

She jabbed her pointer finger into Karin's side - she knew her friend's weaknesses, and Karin's was that was ridiculously ticklish. Sakura was not above using it against her, either.

And so standing there, in front of the counter-guy (who was cute, bee-tee-dubs, damn it), one small, pink-haired girl genuinely tried to murder the other tall-ish, redhead. The shrieks of laughter / horror were simply ignored by most, but two guys stood at the entrance, and could only stare in utter beffudlement.

Sakura just smiled, her hands still curled around Karin's neck.

* * *

"Okay," Suigetsu muttered, his ice-purple eyes never breaking away from the two girls, "Those two? Right there? Yeah, they're weird."

"_I _wouldn't have to _be _here if _you _would just listen to me when I first say _no,_" Sasuke growled under his breath, turning his head to the side and shifting his weight from one leg to the other. Through his bangs, he caught Sakura poking Karin and Karin letting out fits of giggles. For some reason, this reminded him of the Pillsbury dough-boy - the one you poke in his fat belly and he says 'whoohoo'.

After that thought, Sasuke decided that he was losing it.

Suigetsu, though, was having an inner battle with himself. Because the little douche bag that lived in his head was still bugging around in there - flailing and running and screeching and having little, fat hearts as eyes and just _no_. And those fuckin' butterflies in his stomach were some mean ass party-ers. Like, seriously, what the fuck, life. stop being a bitch.

He glared and stomped towards the girls, Sasuke slowly trailing behind him.

Suigetsu _knew _he should have said no to her.

Tch, stupid Toots.

* * *

Karin dodged out of Sakura's evil tickle-inducing jabs, and raced to hide behind Suigetsu. "Don't let her get me!"

She carefully peeked out from behind him, arms curled around his sides. She could see Sakura, twitching in a most attractive way, and Karin could only grin in deep, deep happiness. This was going _so well_. And it was amusing.

"Get _back_ here, Candii," Sakura said, her voice scarily polite.

The deadly sparkle in Sakura's eyes told Karin everything she needed to know, and more. Karin quickly feared for her life, and kept Suigetsu and Sasuke between her, and her dear best friend. "She's gonna kill me, _don't let her get me_! She's gonna tickle me to death! And that would be a tragedy! I'm too pretty to die!"

That lovely twitch on Sakura's forehead got a little more pronounced. Ah, life was so wonderful...

* * *

Suigetsu was twitching.

_Why _oh _why _was she touching him so familiarly. He didn't like this. He didn't like this one bit. She needed to _back off_. Like, in all seriousness, this was _not funny_. Not funny _at all_.

He glowered as he and Sasuke paid for the entrances (Karin flailing around them as her attempt to get away from the evil pink-haired girl). He almost _tripped _on their way to the locker rooms because of her. He was _growling _aloud now. Because _what the fuck_.

Suigetsu hid his pout and stomped into the men's locker room - his pout only increased when he heard Sasuke snickering from behind him.

Life sucked, like, a lot.

When the two of them came back out (dressed in their swim-trunks, the stupid flip-flops and nothing else... because swimming with a shirt was for... idiots.) Karin and Sakura were still no where to be found. Suigetsu sighed vehemently. "Dude, they're going to take _forever_."

Sasuke's only response was leaning against the wall closest to him and getting comfortable.

"Stupid Prick."

"Shut the fuck up, Sharkbait." He smirked and that smirk made Suigetsu gulp.

Right... Blackmail.

Fuck.

* * *

Karin rolled her contact-wearing eyes -she didn't want to break her glasses again, her mother would never let her live it down-, and told Sakura "You look _gorgeous_, what are you _worried_ about?"

Sakura shot her a glare in return "Okay, try this on for size; I'm five-foot-two, pretty much flat, have _pink hair_, am wearing a bikini that _doesn't fit_ and _isn't the right colour_, and am _deeply annoyed_. And then there's you, Ms. C-cup chest-"

Karin studied her nails, and drowned out Sakura's whining. Hm, she really did need to repaint them - the Blu (HD; Hi-Definition Colour by Sally Hansen) was starting to chip off - she would have to decide between Cyber (intense purple), Lite (mega-watt yellow), and Three D (passably the most awesome orange in the history of the world). She pulled out a hair tie, and hummed as she put her hair up - it was way easier to deal with when it was up and wet, rather then down and wet. Pfft.

"-And it's just _not fair_, KARIN!"

Karin blinked at her innocently. "Your bikini is white-polka-dotta on lime green and epic, and you're _complaining_? Shut up, and let's go, okay? Okay."

And the redheaded girl proceeded to drag the griping Sakura out of the girl's change-room without letting her get another word in edge-wise. The two girls soaked themselves thoroughly in the shower, and then walked out into the wave-pool area.

* * *

_Yeah, hi, you've reached Suigetsu's head... He seems to be out at the moment, you can go ahead and leave your fuckin' message after the beep._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_BEEP._

_**Yeah. Okay. Little Dude? Stop fucking flailing all around my fuckin' head. It's annoying and it's fuckin' distracting. Oh, also, take those fuckin' fat hearts out of your eyes and wipe that fuckin' drool off your face, too. Because. Just. No.**_

_**Butterflies inside my stomach? Yeah. Gee-tee-eff-oh. Like, right now.**_

**_kaythanksbye._**

* * *

He didn't know it (because he's that distracted), but his eyes were slowly trailing up and down her body.

From her lime-green painted toe-nails, to her prettypretty legs, to her midsection, up her chest, up her neck and to her face. She looked... amazing. In that lime-green-white-polka-dot bikini. With a messy pony-tail. And...

...That's when Sasuke caught himself.

Blinking, he shook his head and looked away as the two girls passed him and Suigetsu. But he couldn't help it if his eyes wandered back.

DAMMIT.

What the fuck.

Sasuke became angry rather quickly. He glared at the back of Sakura's head.

Because this was _her _fault.

Stupid girl that got emotional with public bathrooms.

* * *

Sakura was tempted to throw something at Karin.

Sure, she was a little bit uncomrfortable - but who wouldn't be? Walking out into an open pool was like walking into a den of wolves, and Sakura was far too intelligent, far too cautious, to do something like that.

And those waterslides looked less-than-safe. She gulped.

Anything over ground-level could _kill_ someone.

They knew that right?

God, she hated Karin and her boy-toy.

* * *

"_There_ they are," Karin muttered, rolling her very-red eyes as she caught sight of the two boys they had -what _was_ the word? Conned? Forced?- into coming. She and Sakura walked towards them. It was really too bad Ino wasn't here, Karin reflected - she would have been the one to wave frantically.

A low, full-throated whistle reached Karin's ears. That was the third one, already. Winnage? _Oh yes_. Clearly, this bikini was definitely worth wearing. Three whistles, and they'd only walked into the place. Karin had been right when she'd woken up this morning - today was going to be a _good_ day.

She grinned, stood up a little straighter, and stalked towards the boys, Sakura trailing behind her (the girl was sending looks of deepest loathing at something - some_one_, probably, who had whistled. Sakura didn't like beeing hit on very much, especially when she was in such little clothing).

Karin wrinkled her nose, and let her eyes glimmer a little bit dangerously. Hel-lo, she knew Sakura was not big on waterslides. Best way to isolate Sakura and Sasuke? Definitely. "Well, the waves won't be starting for a bit, so... who wants to go on the waterslides with me?"

Daredevil. Tenten would be so proud.

* * *

Suigetsu was a daredevil - it had been more obvious when he was still in high school; but come college, it dimmed down even if just a bit. Back in junior year of high school, he used to go roof-hopping on market street with the guys, jumping across the roofs of the buildings that were too close together. He had been the one to discover a broken fire-escape at an alley (the thought of which alley was blurry) and showed it to the guys.

But when Karin asked who'd go on the waterslides with her, adrenaline pumped in his veins and completely prepared him for a day of complete and utter foolery.

"I'm game," he said with a smirk, turning to look at Sasuke rather expectantly.

And Suigetsu knew that when you give Sasuke That Look, he was tempted to not back down. Because that's just how this Uchiha Fucker was.

Sasuke, rather lazily, turned to stare at the waterslides for a good minute before turning towards them again. "I pass."

Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

* * *

Karin just smirked, her lips twitching up at the corners. _Oh, dear world, thank you for giving me this opportunity_, she thought.

"Sak?"

Sakura only paled. "No thanks. You know how I am."

Karin was tempted to pat her on the head. Good, predicatable, getting-hooked-up Sakura. Ahh, fun.

Instead, she looked at Suigetsu, smirked, and said "You and me, cowboy. Let's go." She was tempted to grab his hand again, and pull him along behind her, because... well, because she knew it would tick him off, and that was always funny.

But, ahh, right, she had to- "Sasuke, guess what. I'm leaving you with the job of taking care of Sakura while I drag this _thing-_" she paused to indicate Suigetsu, "- along with me to go on the waterslides. If she gets hurt and/or sacared, _I will hunt you down_. Okay? Okay."

Karin grinned deviously at Sakura's dropped jaw, and walked off towards the stairs leading up to the biggest slide, the sway in her hips more pronounced then it had to be. Please, if you've got it, flaunt it!

* * *

Did Karin think she needed a babysitter or something? She was _eighteen_. She could buy cigarettes and/or porn if the mood struck her.

But apparently her "friend" thought it wasn't safe enough (Sakura was studiously ignoring how there was a chance that her friends were trying to set her up with the Pretty Emo Mute Guy Who Likes Blackmail). She wasn't so depressed about Sai that she would go drown herself in the wave pool.

Glaring at nothing in particular, Sakura marched over to the wave[less] pool.

* * *

Sasuke had only stared at the redhead with a rather blank, impassive, does-it-look-like-i-care look on his face. He actually didn't really care if Sakura left or anything like that. He didn't even want to be here, so why even bother.

Sighing and running a hand through his hair, he made his way towards a beach-chair.

It was pure coincidence that said beach-chairs were stationed in front of the wave-less pool. Sasuke glared in the general direction of said pool, his keen sight already picking up Sakura's pink head.

...Someone took a seat next to him... And the only reason why he knew this was because said person made it a point to stare at him to the point where Sasuke was ready to twitch. With a glare, he turned to the person... Only to swallow a groan when he realized it was a teen-woman-girl, high schooler or college-goer... or whatever; the point was that she was here to flirt and woo him.

Not happening.

Sasuke stood and, with a heavy scowl, made his way to Sakura.

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa**: a) go re-read the notes at the top. this is the last time we're saying it, okay? b) hm-yes, Karin is still my favourite. and c) GO LISTEN TO FIVE. DO IHT. YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED. (actually, you might laugh your ass off - i did.)  
**les**: I STILL LOVE SASUKE-KUN. BACK OFF. BACK OFF NAOW.  
**sonya**: i love kleenex. i love chocolate. happy belated single's awareness day or The Day Of Chocolate (commercially known as valentine's day).


	14. how to make ammendments to dictionaries

omfg. actionnnnnn. hi, kiddies. thanks a bunch for the reviews! you guys are the fruit of our loom.  
**disclaimer: **we don't own a muffin. that includes naruto and the merriam dictionary.  
**dedication: **to winging things, to pulling all nighters. and to wanting to go apeshit on family members that suck major balls.

LET'S DO THIS.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Wave pools are just like normal pools- as in, they have chlorine and a lot of water.

Except they have giant waves.

Other than that, they're not really any different.

Sakura kept this in mind as she treaded water in the middle of the whole pool, her wet hair slicked back into something that looked like a pink waterfall pooling down her back. The ends of the strands spread around her like a giant anemone. In the chlorinated water, her swim suit looked more pale teal with sky blue polka dots, clashing with her hair.

Closing her eyes, she leaned back so that her upper body & head were floating while everything from her belly button and south of the border sunk a little below the mini-ripples. The air burned the back of her throat slightly, but it was a calming familiar feeling from when, during track season, they did water running.

Perhaps she was giving off a stay-the-hell-away-from-me vibe. After all, no one was approaching her. Not to brag or anything- because mostly they were weird people that made her twitch- but most guys at least came over to give her a smile (the weirdest ones do that thing where they run their fingers through their wet hair as if to prove, "Yeah, bitch. I'm a _real_ blonde. And you _know_ blonds have the most fun."), say hi, and maybe ask for her number.

She was about to give a contented sigh, but then she felt the unmistakable shift of the water around her.

Someone was coming up to her.

Even though there was no splashing, Sakura was pissed that someone was trying to- to- to _socialize_ with her. Did it _seem_ like she was in the mood? After Karin had forced her to skip school- not like Kakashi would have taught anything anyways _but that was besides the point_- she had been forced to go to the mall with the redhead, her fuckbuddy, and He Who Had His Main House On The Nile (after Sai, she could see the signs. Never be fooled again!).

Spinning around, she started ranting. "Okay, look here, _buddy_. I don't know who you are or what you want, but _I_ want you to-."

Her words were cut off when the wave pool was activated and a gigantic wave that would give Hurricane Katrina a run for its money caused her to end up completely and utterly flush against the person behind her.

Mouth included.

* * *

Sasuke was in the process of rolling his eyes at Sakura...Before she ended up kissing him.

Of course, Sasuke knew it was unintentional - the waves were causing him to move backwards, but his arms wrapped around Sakura's waist anyway. Because if he fell and she fell, they'd both, like, drown or something. Smirking, he moved his lips against hers and he found it amusing how she was hesitant, but kissed him back regardless.

He gruffly grunted against her lips when his back was met with the pole of that stupid mushroom-looking thing. But at least it steadied him... and allowed him to concentrate on what he was doing. Inner Sasuke was having a party and his alter ego was growing angry.

It was minutes later that she pulled away and Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her, "Do you just kiss any random stranger that kisses you?"

"You fricken bastard," she hissed, "Are you calling me a whore?!"

"No," Sasuke said slowly as if he was talking to a mentally challenged person, "I'm insinuating that I could have been a stranger. And yet you kissed me anyway."

Sakura's eyes glowed when they glared. Sasuke found himself unable to look away.

"_You _kissed _me_!"

Sasuke shrugged, "You kissed me back."

"I'm not arguing this with you," she hissed through her teeth, "You're practically down for the rainbow!"

Sasuke remained impassive as he stared down at her. His chest was prickled with drops of water, his swim-trunks already wet; his hair was damp and he was not liking the fact that he was here at all. Stupid Suigetsu and his stupid toy.

He sighed and shook his head. "Whatever. Your judgment and your stupid accusation means nothing to me."

* * *

Sakura puffed out her cheeks before deciding that poking her tongue out at him would be just desserts.

"You know, you look like you're five when you do that."

Ignoring him, she dove underwater where she couldn't see him and his stupid pretty face.

She let the waves wash over him.

* * *

Sasuke rolled his eyes again - she was so _childish_. What was she, five?

He wasn't going to move from there, though. He decided that the stupid looking-mushroom thing actually looked kind of comfortable; he hoisted himself up until he was sitting above it, legs still inside the water.

Running a hand through his hair, he stared at the stupid mural on the far wall - the one that had that little beeping noise that announced when the waves would come or go. He licked his bottom lip and..._tasted _the lipgloss she was wearing. Like... Like... Watermelon mint. And...

Sasuke glared.

* * *

Sakura resurfaced after being underwater for a minute or so. She wasn't really fond of that feeling you get when you hold your breath- that burning in your nose and your chest like someone is heating you there with hot pokers.

Gasping for air, she felt someone looking at her.

Not looking.

_Glaring._

Needless to say, she wasn't really surprised to find the Emo Blackmailer to be the perpetrator.

Giving him a smile that made her think of the sweetness of her lipgloss, she asked him, "Did you know that glaring is _really_ undressing someone with your eyes?"

This promised to be amusing.

* * *

Sasuke's glare only hardened as he continued to look at her and her stupid faux-sweet smile.

He knew what she was doing - she was trying to provoke a violent reaction out of him. She was pushing his buttons, wanting him to grow irritated and say things he'd kindabutnotreally regret later. So Sasuke decided he'd steer away from that reaction. And he'd play along with her.

"Yeah," he said with a smirk, "You're down to just your panties right now."

He nudged at said panties and swallowed his chuckle.

* * *

Her eyes narrowed.

So you want to play hardball in the big kid's league, Sakura thought, a wicked smile over her delicate features.

"Well, you certainly have a lack of imagination considering that's basically all I'm wearing right now. I've got you down to your underwear too. Now the only question is..."

Her voice was certainly huskier now.

"Boxers or briefs?"

_I call your raise and I'll raise you another fifty._

* * *

Sasuke's smirk was still in place and he raised an eyebrow as he jumped down from the mushroom and headed towards stopped once he was an inch or less away from her.

And then he lowered his head down a bit to be in level with hers.

"How about," he murmured his voice deep, low, smooth, "you find out for yourself?"

* * *

Sakura didn't do this.

She _didn't_.

So she treaded water a few meters away from him and turned to look at him through her lashes.

"Welllll." She dragged her answer out. "You're wearing a swimsuit, so it's not like I can find out _here_."

Swimming farther away, she gave him a coy teasing smile before picking up the pace and heading towards the shallow end...

Towards the men's locker room...

_Can you catch me?_

* * *

You'd think his smirk would drop and his glare would come back into place. Usually, that'd be the thing Sasuke would do. But instead, he went after her.

"Oh really? You're right," he said, still low, but she could still hear him, "But would you do it when we get to a better place, that's the question."

He grinned at her.

_Of course I can catch you._

_

* * *

_

On the inside, Sakura was panicking.

...

Perhaps a little on the outside too.

But there was a little bit of excitement stirring inside her too. She'd never felt this way before. Not even with-.

Yes, no one had ever made her feel this way.

Sasuke was just on her heels as she emerged on the shallow end. Darting for the locker room door, she turned to give him a quick saucy smile that promised his defeat at her hands.

_I'm running. Can you catch me _now?

That was before she slipped...

Right through the doors to the empty locker room.

Turning around to see a smirking boy at the door, Sakura felt like smacking herself in the face.

_Oh god, what have I done now?_

* * *

Oh, so smooth, he wanted to say, but instead he allowed his smirk to come out to play as he neared her until he was standing right in front of her. Sasuke crouched down and reeled in until the tip of their noses poked at each other, "Huh. So... you were saying?"

He tilted his head to the side, his bangs obscuring his vision a bit. But still. He'd admit she looked very... very.... uh, pretty there (_tempting, you idiot, the term is tempting, _Suigetsu growled in his head) but it was all about how far she was willing to take this.

Sasuke was _not _going to back down.

Not anymore.

She wanted to continue to say he was gay?

He's going to show her how straight he really was.

At her lack of reaction, Sasuke's smirk turned into a small grin.

* * *

Sakura's mind was kind of drawing a blank.

Let's look at this closely, shall we?

1) Hot wet guy all in her face. Water was dripping over the angular planes of his body, emphasizing high cheekbones and clinging to his lashes. His hair was still spikey in the back

2) She was sprawled over the floor, bracing her upper body on her hands.

3) They're in the _men's_ locker room.

4) Said locker room is _empty_.

Unfortunately, her mouth wasn't finding it that hard to function.

"So you were going to show me something... Care to remind me?"

_Damn mouth_.

* * *

_Ooh, daring girl._

Sasuke's grin remained, though. "Are you sure?"

She raised an eyebrow: _backing out already?_

So Sasuke stood and dug his thumbs into the inside of his swim-trunks and tugged them down - just barely. You couldn't even notice the difference.

"Ready," he teased.

His eyes were shining, searching her and waiting for any change in her reactions.

There really weren't any - none that he could see at least.

So he tugged his trunks down a bit lower - his red, black, blue and green plaid boxers were coming into view. But Sasuke was tugging down agonizingly slow.

He was smirking by the time the top half of his boxers were in plain sight.

_Want to continue to test me?_

_

* * *

_

He was raising the stakes. They both knew it.

She felt it.

Sakura wondered if he could feel it.

Invisible sweat was beading on her forehead as she stared at him as fearless as she could. Any obvious reaction from her would mean he won.

To be honest, Sakura didn't know why she continued to bait him. She was positive he wasn't gay before this whole thing started.

So why was she still trying to annoy him? Why was she asking the question over and over and over again? Was it just to make positively certain that he wouldn't be another Sai? His name still hurt her to think about, but she knew- at least _hoped_- it would get easier.

Nervous, she licked dry lips before freezing.

Wrong move.

His eyes fell on her even more heavily now.

_What to do now..._

* * *

Raising an eyebrow, he neared her again and crouched down in front of her, head tilted once again.

"Anything else," he asked in a low drawl.

He saw her lick her lips - he didn't take it as bait, whether it was or it wasn't. He didn't take it because he... because... just because.

Sasuke licked his own lips before going back to looking at her with a blank, yet completely teasing, expression. In all honesty, he had no idea why he even went along with this - he didn't even care what she thought of him. But still... she... her constant question just fuckin' irked him to no end.

He continued to stare at her, a smirk crawling onto his lips when she didn't meet his eyes.

_Do you give up?_

* * *

Sakura raised her eyebrow at him in return as she leaned forward and delicately traced nonsensical designs over him. Over his abs, up his chest, Sakura's fingernail lightly trailed up his neck until she was drawing invisible lines over his face.

Tilting her head at him, she gave him as much of a disarming smile as she could.

_I see your call and raise you a hundred._

_Think you can deal?_

* * *

Sasuke fought down the shiver that wanted to be unleashed, fought down the urge to lean into her touch, fought the urge to flutter his eyes closed because her touch was soothing. But Sasuke was not going to fall, he was not going to lose.

So he did the next best thing... he kissed her.

_I'm dealing, what's your next move?_

* * *

She fought the blankness that threatened to over take her brain...

_You Fail. Return to Go._

So Sakura gave in, tangled her fingers in his hair, and kissed back.

* * *

She wasn't supposed to kiss back... Yet she was.

And Sasuke wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. So he ended up doing what he always did when it came to him, her and their lips pressing together - he kissed her; moved his lips against hers, licked her bottom lip just to tease her, nipped here and there.

By the time his fingers were ghosting up and down her exposed curves, he didn't even know he was doing it. By the time he was hovering above her, he didn't even know he was.

He was lost in the way she kissed him back and fuck was it good. His mind vaguely informed him that, yes, he _did _win.

There was a sound - like if someone was coming into the men's locker room. Sasuke pulled away from this... heated... kiss and turned to look towards the entrance; underneath him, Sakura was breathing heavily - but that was alright because so was he.

But he didn't even delve into the thought - not that he was going to even if there was a chance - because he quickly stood up, pulling a dazed Sakura along with him. Sasuke looked around the place, deciding to push Sakura behind the walls of the showers.

He placed a finger to his lips, eyes boring into hers and she only nodded. Blinking, Sasuke pulled his swim-shorts back up - just a little.

And then he just stood there, in front of her - more so, blocking her from whoever had entered.

* * *

Sakura was not staring.

Really.

She wasn't staring. She wasn't looking as his chest moved up and down with every ragged breath he took after being liplocked for, like, an _eternity._ She wasn't watching at how his eyes held hers whenever she dared to look away from him.

Okay, so maybe she _was_ staring.

But he was all - wet and he was looking back at her with this intense look that _almost_ made her lose her breath.

However, Sakura tended to be a competitive girl - especially with guys, so she just _had_ to say something else. Or else Sasuke would win and they had never really decided what was the prize for- well, whatever they were currently doing.

"Sooooooo..." she purred quietly as she leaned against him and innocently rubbed her legs smoothly up and down his. "Don't you think this is a bit cozy?"

She ignored how the shower cubicle was at least seven foot by seven foot.

* * *

Sasuke's blank expression disappeared and a slow, lazy smirk appeared on his lips as he raised a brow.

The man that had entered was changing just over the wall, but that didn't matter.

Sasuke _knew _she wasn't ready to give up. He knew it. He was kinda glad she didn't, too. Kinda glad she was continuing even if he found no reason for what they were doing. But whatever.

His smirk was accompanied by a raised brow, "Oh, yeah, very," he murmured.

He leaned forwards a bit, trapping her against his body and the wall, caging her in between his arms. He had to do _something, _say _something_, so that he didn't lose. But... what? His smirk widened as he ran his lips down her jaw, down her neck. He nuzzled the joint-spot where her neck and shoulder met and smirked against her skin.

* * *

She was glad he couldn't see her face. Otherwise he would have seen an almost-devious look cross her face. Okay, so his warm breath against her wet, cold skin was distracting, but Sakura wasn't called Forehead for nothing. So people were referring to the size of her forehead when she was younger, but now it was more applicable to the brain that forehead hid from view.

Ducking low, she scampered to the other side of the small stall and plopped down on the bench, her feet hidden from whoever else was in the locker room.

Sakura gave the boy a saucy wink that just **screamed**, _whatcha gonna do about that?_

The ball was in his court now.

* * *

He narrowed his eyes and looked towards the direction the other inhabitant before flashing them back towards her.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow again and turned on the shower, allowing the drops of cold water to run down and wet him. If the other fool knew someone else was there, he might as well make him think he was there for a reason. He stepped out of the shower-thing and ran a hand through his wet hair, pulling his bangs back just so that they'd fall back into place.

Repeating the movement, he walked towards the bench and sat down next to the weird girl that got emotional with public bathrooms, lifting one leg and stretching the other. He turned to look at her, his eyebrow raised once again: _what do you _want _me to do?_

He smirked at her and before she could react, he dipped down and kissed her. It was all he could do - he wasn't going to _touch _her or anything like that. Kissing her is all he was able to do.

Not that either of them were really complaining.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Karin looked at Suigetsu. "They've been gone for almost an hour, now... y'think he shoved her into a bathroom and had his way with her, yet?"

Suigetsu stared at her, deadpan. "Nah, the Prick doesn't have the balls."

She raised an eyebrow, and then surveyed the whole pool-waterpark area. Karin caught sight of a blob of pink-and-green-and-white, followed why a blob of black-and-white skin-and-black. "Oh? Something tells me you're wrong - 'coz I see Sakura, and if I'm not mistaken, that's a hickey on her neck."

Suigetsu's head shot up, and Karin watched a dangerous, _evil_ grin spread across his lips.

Huh, he was really actually attractive, when he smiled...

* * *

"Ha," he chuckled, his grin still in place, "Well that sonuvabitch really had it in him."

As he watched his friend along with the pinky, he couldn't help but... zero his eyes on that hickey on the girl's neck. And fuckin' god, since when was someone like Sasuke Uchiha good at this?! He was _Sasuke_, he had never had a relationship, let alone _kissing_ someone... Right?

Of course!

'Coz if he had some flings or one-night-stands... he woulda told them about it, right?

Yeah!

But nonetheless did Suigetsu chuckle.

"Ha, the table's turned, you fuckin' Prick."

* * *

She could feel someone- or some_twos_- looking at her. Or on a certain part of her body.

Her neck.

Did the Emo Prick Who Is Surprisingly Good At Acting Like A Heterosexual Male do something?

"Uchiha, is there something on my face... or neck?"

Sakura narrowed her eyes at him.

* * *

Sasuke turned to look at her with a bored expression and then turned to her neck.

And then he was smirking.

"No."

But even so, he lazily lifted a hand and made sure some of her hair covered her neck.

And then he continued smirking a lazy smirk.

* * *

Oh dear freaking god. Sakura had a hickey. _Sakura had a hickey_. SAKURA HARUNO HAD A HICKEY!!!

Karin was having a mental freak-flail-out. She watched the way Sasu-face moved Sakura's hair to hide said hickey, and she smiled. Oh, this had 'blackmail' written _all_ over it - 'blackmail', and 'I am going to tease you forever'.

But it would have to wait. Karin grabbed Suigetsu's hand, and tugged him into the pool. Over her shoulder, she called "MARCO!"

Seriously, Suigetsu and Marco Polo and hickeys on best friends' necks and water parks?

Could life _get_ any better?

* * *

Suigetsu blinked and looked around.

Marco? Who the hell was Marco?

Wait... no.

Oh fuck no.

Not that stupid annoying game. Suigetsu _hated _this game because... Well, fuck, what the hell was fun about yelling like a complete idiot? Seriously.

But nonetheless did he allow her to pull him to and fro.

* * *

Sasuke was in the process of deciding whether he wanted a bottle of water or not....

...That was before someone grabbed his hand and pulled him forward.

"POLO," Sakura yelled.

Sasuke decided he should have stayed in the locker room.

* * *

Karin held a finger to her lips, and pulled Suigetsu behind a group of people, and ducked down into the water. She tugged him down with her, and with a frantic, whispered "_hold your breath_!" dunked him below the surface as Sakura -dragging Sasu-face, _ha_- came barreling around.

And Karin knew Sakura - she would be scanning everywhere, _except_ right beneath her own feet.

It was always funny.

Karin jerked her head underwater at Suigetsu, and indicated that they ought to swim out deeper. She broke the surface, yelled "MARCO!", again, and slid back underwater.

Heeee, Marco Polo was still the best game ever.

* * *

Suigetsu hated this.

Don't get him wrong, he liked swimming. He just hated playing this stupid game. He broke the surface and gasped for some air, running a hand through his hair to get it out of his eyes. he glared at the girl that surfaced next to him... Just to push him back down.

Suigetsu inwardly cursed everything to hell.

* * *

Sasuke watched as Sakura searched rather frantically for her redheaded friend.

He already saw where the other two went. He just found it quite troublesome to let her know. So he just stood next to her - trying to get his wrist out of her grip - and just watched Sakura's calculating green eyes with little to no interest. Really.

"POLO," she yelled out.

Sasuke cringed at the attention those yells were bringing towards them.

* * *

Suigetsu was _being annoying_, Karin grumbled to herself. He was just not participating, and being _totally boring_.

She was going to have to fix that.

Karin swam close enough to him that their bodies were almost touching - everything was blurry, but Karin knew where he was, the way fish knows how to swim; it was hidden in the currents, the way people _moved_. So she got as close as she physically could, -her lungs were screaming for air, but that could wait- and kissed the tip of his nose.

And then she was off, lost in already-beginning waves.

"MARCO!"

* * *

Karin was _being annoying_, Suigetsu growled to himself. She made it a point to continue playing this stupid game that was _not fuckin' fun_.

He wanted to ditch her.

....That was before she kissed the tip of his nose. After _that_, he followed her (swam after her) like a lovesick puppy. Not that Suigetsu'd ever admit that to himself... His thoughts were lost right after the already-beginning waves attacked him.

Dammit all.

* * *

Oh great, Sasuke thought, the fuckin' waves were starting again.

He hated the stupid waves, hated them with a passion. He growled as Sakura still made it a point to hold on to his wrist, swim-walking around and searching for Karin. If Sasuke was any other person, he'd be pouting right about now, or visibly sulking. But he was Sasuke so he continued on with his blank face.

"Do you mind letting me go now?"

"Shhhh."

Sasuke scoffed and looked to the side. They were under the water, using the stupid waves to their advantage and this girl still had no clue. Wasn't she, like, supposed to be smart or something--

"POLO."

Sasuke glared.

* * *

Sakura continued to scan the pool area. Stupid Karin, starting this game - Sakura had never been good at Marco Polo (it made no sense - she was normally very observant), and Karin _knew_ that. She huffed, and shot a glance at Sasuke.

He was glaring around like a heffalump. Stupid pretty boy.

"I don't like Marco Polo," she muttered before a mischievious grin lit up her face. Crooking her finger at Sasuke, she leaned over and whispered conspiratorially in his ear. "When Karin comes by, we'll tag her _first_. And then we'll run- or swim, I suppose- away before she gets it and tags us back." She let her breath whisper down his neck a little longer than what was probably necessary before dragging herself away to search for Karin

Shaking her head to clear it, Sakura scrunched her nose, and caught a flash of bright red; it looked to be exactly the same colour as Karin hair. She screeched "HA!" and dragged him deeper into the water, after the flash of Karin's hair.

"C'mon!" she told He-Who-Was-Still-Glaring-About, with a playful sort-of grin. "Just have some fun, okay? You're letting them _win_!"

* * *

Sasuke shifted his glare towards the girl who got emotional with public bathrooms.

He sighed and declared this the worst day ever. He hated this all, really he did. The only thing that was remotely alright was... He smirked and turned to look at Sakura's neck. Oh. Yeahhh.

But still.

Marco Polo.

This game was so fuckin' _annoying_. All you did was scream at each other - maybe there's a guy named Marco here and he's, like, almost paranoid because he keeps hearing his name being shout out.... Or maybe Marcos avoid pools because of that. Sasuke furrowed his brow as he gave this a nice thought...

...And then he shook his head and decided he was losing it.

Sighing, he muttered, "Over there, where the waves are strongest."

* * *

Karin eeped - Sakura was charging straight towards her. She laughed a little crazily, and swam to a slight more shallow area - just a little deeper then waist-deep. She popped her head above the water, hollered "MARCO!" in Sakura's general direction, and took off again.

Huh, what other games were there that she could use to push Sakura into touching Sasuke?

She froze. A dangerous, _evil_ smirk crossed her lips. Oh. _Oh_. **_OH_**.

Suigetsu was right behind her, and she swung around into his chest.

"Pick me up," she whispered into his ear.

"_What_?" he hissed back.

"Chicken!" she whispered back, a dare-devil glint giving her eyes a slightly manic cast. Sakura would _never_ say no to Chicken - Sakura did _not_ enjoy losing at _anything_. Even something as reckless as Chicken. And, 'sides, Chicken was passably the most amazing game in the world.

"You're fuckin' _crazy_," he told her flatly.

Karin smirked at him, raised an eyebrow, and murmured, her voice suddenly low and husky, "I'll make it worth your while..."

* * *

So now she was trying to seduce him, huh.

Suigetsu stared back at her, face blank and lips pressed into a thin line. He hated being seduced. Because that made him think that women thought he was like any other man, and he so was _not_. He could handle someone talking dirty to him without having the urge to just screw their brains out - he could also handle seduction without batting an eyelash.

His hands gripped her waist as he lifted her up and Suigetsu found himself realizing that everything was different when it came to Karin.

"You're fuckin' _crazy_," he repeated as she got comfortable on his shoulders.

* * *

Sasuke completely froze when he caught sight of the other two. And he froze not because he saw them... more so because he saw them and their new intentions.

Sasuke was not one to like playing chicken.

He shook his head slowly and took a few step back.

"No," he said before Sakura even had the chance to see Suigetsu and Karin, let alone demand he pick her up. "No."

"What are you--"

Sasuke watched her eyes narrow and her lips purse... He also caught himself staring at said lips and it made him all the angrier. "No."

"Pick me up, Sasuke."

"No."

"Uchiha."

"No."

"Are we just gonna let them win?!"

Sasuke growled. He hated losing... But... He glared as he found himself lifting Sakura up to his shoulders. Suigetsu was going to die for ever bringing him here in the first place. God did he hate the world so much right now.

* * *

Sakura shrieked laughter as Sasuke tossed her up on his shoulders like she weighed less than nothing.

This was good. This was _very_ good. They were probably going to get in a load of trouble for this. Sakura knew that the pool supervisors were probably having a fit right about... _now_.

Honestly, though? Sakura didn't even care how much trouble this was going to get them in - it wasn't like they were the only ones. So Sakura figured this was as good a time as any to beat Karin at her own game.

Sakura tried _very_ hard to ignore Sasuke's hands curling around her thighs.

* * *

Karin heard Sakura's shriek of laughter - heard it turn to a squeak of surprise as Sasuke held her in place.

"Let's go knock them into the pool, okay? And you don't ever have to let Sasu-face live it down. And I know I'm insane. It's why you like me," Karin told Suigetsu. He just shook his head, probably in amazement. Karin didn't even really care.

She shot a glance at Sakura and Sasu-face - they weren't far away now.

Well.

_This_ was going to be fun.

Ah, Sakura, she had absolutely _no_ idea what she was getting into...

* * *

"Okay, whatever," Suigetsu growled, "Just stop pulling at my hair."

He had the decency to pout as he slowly led them towards Sasuke and Sakura, his eyes telling Sasuke's (once they clashed) _dude, this woman is psycho_. Suigetsu could have sworn Sasuke's eyes said: _this is what you get, bitch. Get us out of here. _Oh, how Suigetsu wished he could do just that.

Now that they were face to face, Suigetsu was glaring.

If Sasuke and Sakura dropped them... That meant they would fall to the water, right?

....Oh god.

* * *

Sasuke wanted to go home.

He wanted to go home _so badly_. Maybe kill some zombies, or play some Grand Theft Auto... Anything. Anything was fuckin' better than this. He had a weird girl on his shoulders, Suigetsu had a crazy on on his and god he just wanted to leave.

Seriously.

He shook his head at Suigetsu, his way of saying 'this is all your damn fault'.

Sasuke hated Chicken.

His hands tightened around Sakura's thighs.

* * *

It was all Sakura could do to cling tightly to Sasuke. How she managed this was something of a mystery - it wasn't like there were many places a small teenage girl could cling, while playing Chicken. She stared at the villainous sparkle in Karin's eyes.

Well. _That_ couldn't be good.

Sakura clung to Sasuke all the harder. "I will _poison_ you if you drop me."

"Hn."

In retaliation for that horrible, horrible word and the way he was mercilessly teasing her, the next time she grabbed his hair, she tugged.

Hard.

* * *

Karin smirked.

She just _smirked_.

Let the games begin!

---

Ten minutes later, both teams were soaking wet -the boys having "accidentally" dumped the girls in, and the girls immediately having sought revenge-, and somewhere close to either laughing until they cried (excusing Sasuke), or passing out from exhaustion and hunger.

Karin looked over at the other three people she had pretty much forced to come along with her. "Want to grab some food, and then get out of here?"

The fervent nods told her everything she wanted to know. So Karin grinned, and said "Let's bounce."

* * *

Suigetsu rubbed his exposed stomach and groaned for the nth time.

"Can you stop being picky and let's just stay in a single place," he groaned again, "They all basically sell pizza and chicken strips."

"And fries," Sauske added in a drawl.

Suigetsu nodded and groaned again, he sat down on the yellow-bench thing from the closest restaurant (Something named Rootin' Tootin' BarnHouse. Home of the Best Pizza). Suigetsu wondered when pizza became all rodeo. He blinked and leaned his back against the table.

"I'm staying right here. We're eating here."

* * *

Sasuke exhaled and took his seat on the other side of where Suigetsu had sat. He _was _kinda hungry and those girls were so _picky _with their foods.

"Dude," Suigetsu said, "maybe we shoulda gone play some fuckin' football at the park."

"You're the one that made me come here." Sasuke leaned his chin on his palm and stared at nothing in particular. "So. Pizza."

"Yup," Suigetsu nodded.

The two turned to the girls with smirks on their lips.

* * *

Karin eyes them both warily. Both Suigetsu and Sasu-face were giving them The Look.

(_The_ Look. Read: "_you are going to regret ever forcing this on us_." Please, Karin was not the type to _regret_ - Karin regretted _nothing_.)

She stood up, and tilted her head at Sakura. "C'mon, let's get some food. I want fri-i-i-i-ies."

Sakura shrugged and nodded, and allowed Karin to lead her straight towards the counter where they were selling food - generally every unhealthy thing on the planet. Karin smirked, and ordered the large fires that Suigetsu had requested -the only reason she had not told him to fuck off was so that she could steal some-, and a milkshake (Karin was one of those weird people who loved fries dipped in milkshake - she knew the other girls thought she was insane, but it was _so_ good!)

* * *

"So," Suigetsu smirked at Sasuke, "I see Sakura's sportin' a hickey."

Sasuke looked up from the table and locked eyes with his friend. He narrowed his eyes and looked away, "You don't say."

"Oh, cut the bullshit, Prick!" Suigetsu's smirk widened into a grin, "You gave her that hickey - she didn't have it before."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Sasuke snorted and shook his head, a sardonic smirk on his lips. Damn, he wasn't fast enough... Suigetsu saw it and next thing he knew, so did whatsherface. Fuck, this is what happens when you lose control, Sasuke. Seriously. But, fuck if he didn't like-- NO.

Absolutely _no _thoughts like that.

"Sasuke, eff off it, dude."

"Suigetsu, just shut up."

Suigetsu rolled his eyes, "Dude, it's alright to have hormones. Besides, Sakura's hot."

And if Sasuke glared, it was because some girl was giving him the come hither eyes. Not because of what Suigetsu said.

Seriously.

* * *

The girls were waiting for the food. This was possibly the perfect opportunity to interrogate, bother, and embarrass Sakura, all in one.

Ah, life was so wonderful.

"So, daughter of my heart," Karin said, a smirk etching itself onto her lips. "Tell me. Where _did_ you get that lovely bruise on your neck?"

The glare that Sakura sent in Karin's general direction was _wonderful_. It made Karin's lips quirk up in a Cheshire Cat's smile, and she wondered how long Sakura would be able to stand the needling. It was always the question; how long until Sakura snapped and threatened arsenic (or something equally as icky - Karin didn't _really_ want to die; she was too pretty!).

"I slipped," Sakura said. There was a very sour look on her face.

Karin bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. "Sure, honey. Well, at least I know where _his_ lips were... but where were _yours_, Ms. Not-So-Innocent?"

* * *

Sakura didn't try to avert her eyes, even if she knew that Karin would be able to read every lie in them.

Die of possible embarrassment with your head held high, not whimpering and staring at the ground.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. But you and Suigetsu had plenty of... _alone time_. What were you two doing?"

She paused, giving the question more thought. To tell the truth, Sakura didn't really want to know (she was pretty sure it was mind-scarring), but if it would get her out of the Interrogation Unit, she would take that route any day.

_Soldier, we knew thee well..._

* * *

See, _there_ was that little vixen that Karin knew that Sakura had inside her. She knew her friend had it; she just needed to _let it out_ once in a while (and not with stupid, lame, exceedingly _how-did-you-not-notice-this-he's-**flammingly-homosexual**_ boys. Jeez, Sak, sure can pick 'em, can't cha?), and that was _exactly_ why Karin existed.

Of course, making everyone in the vicinity uncomfortable was another of her billions of talents - hel-_lo,_ this was _Karin_!

So Karin just raised a dark-red eyebrow (goddamn ginger, grumble, grumble), and said "Excuse me? Am _I_ the one with visible _bruises_?"

Sakura twitched, and looked like she was about to say something. But Karin ignored her, and continued with "He _knows_ what I'd do to him if he left bruises where people could _see_ them, duh. We'd _both_ be pissy-" she paused, and grinned. "-And we'd both probably end up having violent make-up sex."

Sakura _just_ _stared_.

Karin _just stared_ back, a slightly indecent look in her eye. "Wha-a-a-at?"

* * *

Sakura didn't need to know that fact.

At all.

In _fact_, now she wanted to go drop herself off the high dive and hopefully get that... _icky_ image out of her brain.

And she didn't even _like_ heights.

So she sighed, faced Karin, and said, "He's _excellent_ at kissing. That is all."

She turned to the little tray and picked up a thing of french fries and moved along.

* * *

Karin threw back her head and laughed, even as she trailed along after Sakura. Pfft, best way to make Sakura awkward? Apparently, mentioning anything that had to do with anything other then lip-against-lip action set Sakura off.

But Karin already knew that.

So she just smiled, and said "Sure, hon, whatever floats your boat. Oh, and this is _so_ not over - Ino will hear."

Karin watched Sakura pale, and smiled again. It was a little more evil, this time.

Well, there was a lot of time. And Karin had better pasttimes. Like teasing Suigetsu - and almost every other teenaged male in the vicinity.

The two girls headed back towards the boys. When they placed the food down, Karin kept purposely stealing Suigetsu's fries, right in front of his face, and leisurely dipping them into her milkshake. She slowly licked the thick, milky treat of each individual fry. Watched his fists -almost hidden underneath the table- clench.

Mission accomplished.

Uhm. _Yum._

_

* * *

_Suigetsu narrowed his eyes and stared off at the space behind Sasuke.

This girl was making it a point to tease him and Suigetsu didn't like it. He didn't like it _at all. _He growled deep and low within his throat, his eyes narrowing down into slits until only specs of ice-purple were viewable. But he didn't care. Nope, he didn't.

He reached for another fry and popped it into his mouth. And he ignored Karin and her stupid teasing-game; Suigetsu hated playing games. He was a straightforward guy - for example, he banged a girl and then never talked to her again. He wasn't going to ease her out on the whole shit. Hell no. It just wasn't him.

So yes. He ignored Karin.

"What're we doin' next?"

"Next," Sasuke answered, "you're dropping me off at the uni so I can get my car."

Suigetsu rolled his eyes, "You're such a drama queen when it comes to that tin-metal-shit."

"It's a _classic_ - Kiba'd bitch slap you if he heard you say that."

Again, Suigetsu rolled his eyes. "You and Kiba and all those metal-shits can go jump off a bridge."

He turned his smirk at Sasuke and then froze... He was giving him one of those looks that translated into _I got more blackmail on you than you can ever think, don't fuck with me or it'll go worldwide, bitch._

And Suigetsu woulda been offended and scared and intimidated if he didn't have blackmail of his own. _Yeah, well wait till I tell the guys that you're actually as much of a manwhore as you make me out to be_.

And thus the two commenced in a glaring war.

* * *

Karin wrinkled her nose. Okay, hi, he was doing that ignoring thing again. Yes, she was an attention whore, she would not deny it.

But really, she was only an attention whore to people she genuinely-

WAIT. NO. NO. NO.

She did not like him. No.

Denial? Swimming? Nah, what was _that_ about?

Karin pouted to herself, and dipped another fry into her milkshake. After consuming it entirely, she licked her fingers, wiped them off on a napkin, and reached up to undo her hair. She had a feeling that they were probably going to be leaving the waterpark, and soon - Sakura was fidgeting uncomfortably, and Sasu-face and Suigetsu were... _glaring_ at each other.

Huh.

Karin really did have to wonder what _that_ was about. She started to sort her hair out - unknot the knots, untangle the tangles, wring the water out of the rats' nest that it was. It wasn't working very well.

...

Eff.

And so then she just gave up, and stole another one of Suigetsu's fries. Blah.

* * *

He sipped at his soda, his eyes never breaking away from the glare he and Sasuke were having.

Okay, the relationship between the Uchiha and him was a love-hate one - they were best friends, yeah, but they were always at each other's throat. It was different than the Kiba-Suigetsu combo and straight up different from the Sasuke-Naruto combo, but it was aggressive nonetheless.

"You utter a word, and I'll tell them," he muttered at him.

Sasuke's glare darkened, "Say something, and you die."

"I'M GONNA GO CHANGE NOW."

The two blinked, breaking the battle for the first time, and turned towards Sakura who had already stomped to Suigetsu and Karin's side, grabbing the latter's arm and dragging her off. Suigetsu raised an eyebrow and watched them go before turning back to Sasuke.

"Okay, fuck it, I have to know," he chuckled, "While _your _mouth was busy at her neck... what was _she _doing to _you_?"

* * *

Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he turned to stare at Suigetsu again.

"Shut the fuck up."

"C'mon, dude, tell me! This is what friends do!"

"No."

"C'mon!"

"Is she good?"

"I didn't fuck her."

"But you want to, right?"

Sasuke smacked Suigetsu, standing up and stalking off to the changing room. Suigetsu followed him, a grand smirk on his lips as he continued to pester his friend. "So.. you're not a virgin then? Dude, why didn't you say anything! You're, like... Not a virgin!"

"Suigetsu, shut up."

* * *

Sakura dragged a flailing Karin behind her. The Soon-To-Be-Neuro-Surgeon stomped towards the changing room, completely and utterly ignoring her red-headed best friend.

Karin was clearly distressed. "SAKURA, THAT WAS IMPORTANT INFORMATION THAT I MUST KNOW TO LIIIIIIVE-"

"Oh, you're making a scene," Sakura muttered, ungrateful, and rolled her eyes at Karin's antics; really, so over-dramatic, for something so utterly simplistic and/or moronic. Boys (even Those-Who-Are-Pretty-Assuredly-Straight-Even-Though-It's-Questionable were really just _damn_ attractive) were just dumb.

The rosette shoved Karin into the changeroom. "C'mon, I'm getting cold."

* * *

Karin let out a strangle-choked scream that went something along the lines of "SO WHY DID YOU FORCE ME TO COME WITH YOU?! SDLGKJRDSLGH."

Sakura didn't reply, so Karin figured that she was simply being ignored, and that it was probably just better to go along with Sakura's wishes. If only just this once.

And that was really only because, well, Karin's Mission For The Day had been accomplished. Sakura had gotten past the hardest part after a break-up: The Acceptance. That phase could either last a really, really long time, or barely any time at all.

Karin was glad, for Sakura's sake, that this one had not been too long - it meant that Sakura wasn't mourning the relationship too much, and that she was getting ready to Move On.

And, hey, if it meant she was Moving On to Sasu-face, Karin was totally okay with that.

So she grinned, and went to get changed.

* * *

"So dude," Suigetsu said, pulling his flard skinnies up and buckling them just an inch over his hips (meh, they were loose anyway), "who was the chick?"

Sasuke, in the process of pulling down his black v-neck shirt stopped to glare at him. "It's none of your business."

Suigetsu laughed at this, fixing the cuffs of his skinnies he turned to peer at the other male through his silver-white bangs. Honestly, he found it completely surprising that _Sasuke _was _not _virgin. They've spent so many days, weeks, months and a couple of years making fun of him being a virgin - and he _wasn't_. He coulda defended himself, yet he didn't.

But then again, it didn't surprise Suigetsu in the sense that Sasuke kept a lot of things to himself - he wouldn't even tell Naruto most things!

"Dude, I'm not gonna tell," Suigetsu pulled down his black t-shirt and turned to Sasuke. "Like, seriously."

Sasuke studied him for a quick minute before pulling his light-gray skinnies up to ride low on his hips. He sighed a resigned sigh, "Shut up."

"Ah, fine. You suck."

"Your face."

"Dude."

"Hn."

The commenced in shoving each other, grabbing the bags filled with wet clothes (Sasuke grabbing his red hoodie which he was too lazy to put on at the moment), they exited the changing room and went to wait for the girls.

* * *

Oh, life was beautiful - Karin's hair was warm and dry, finally. She'd spent a good ten minutes standing underneath the hand dryer to get it to be so; the awkward looks from the other females in the change room were _priceless_, and Sakura had simply pretended that she just didn't know Karin.

Things usually were better when it worked out like that.

Karin walked back to her locker (Sakura was towel-drying her hair - Karin had given up the long, warm shower, for the dry-for-the-rest-of-the-day hair. It was a fair trade), and grabbed one of the many hairbands she owned. After tucking it up into a loose bun, she shot a glance first at the mirror -she was honestly too lazy for make-up, Suigetsu could suck it-, and then at Sak.

"Almost ready to go?"

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Am I the one checking myself out? I think _not_."

"I'm going to take that as a 'Oh, yes, Karin, my leige-lord and ruler of all that is the universe'," Karin told her plaintively.

Sakura simply stared at her. "I can't believe you're my best friend, sometimes."

"LOVE ME." Karin smiled widely, and variably threw herself on Sakura. The shorter girl made a choking sound in the back of her throat, but it was still a good-natured grin; being friends with someone for too long does that - you kind of end up losing any sort of reservations you had around that person, in the first place.

And then the two slipped out of the change room, and found two boys waiting for them.

* * *

By then, Sasuke and Suigetsu had quit arguing - or, better told, Suigetsu had quit trying to get the 411 on who Sasuke had banged and when. Now, Sasuke leaned against the wall, hoodie back on and hood covering his head, and his hands holding his G1, which he was using to surf the web. Suigetsu, stood a foot or two in front of him, hands dug into his pockets as he bobbed his head to a song he was singing in his head.

"Dude, so am I the only one that thinks Anko's batshit?"

Sasuke looked up from his phone and smirked, "Fuck no. That woman needs some extreme kind of counseling."

Suigetsu laughed, "Dude, Neji says she _adopted _someone."

"No shit?"

"Yeah. Dude. It's scary - another Anko in the making."

Sasuke's eyes widened for half a second, "Don't even go there."

The conversation stopped just as soon as Sakura and Karin came into view.

* * *

Karin smirked at them. As they headed back towards Suigetsu's car, she asked "So, what now?"

The guys shrugged, and Sakura sent her rather noteworthy, _dark_ look.

Well. _That_ couldn't be good. There was a significant "I am going to kill you if you make this last any longer because I want to go home and sleep" vibe coming off of Sakura; Karin figured it was probably best to just give the girl a break.

So she cracked her neck, sent Suigetsu a slow grin, and practically skipped over to his car. She heard Sakura groan behind her, and Karin could only smile.

* * *

Suigetsu decided, as he watched Karin skip away, that he was still kinda hungry.

Maybe after he's dropped everyone off, he'd go to a drive-thru.... No.... Luffy's. He'll go to Luffy's and pig out on one of their tasty burgers. Suigetsu's mouth watered just at the thought. But then his eyes caught Karin's skirt flow up as she skipped and his attention was switched from Food to Nice Ass in a millisecond. His pace picked up, his attempt to try and catch up with her.

A growl almost escaped him as he caught two guys appreciating the same thing he had. It only fueled Suigetsu's need to get closer to Karin and once he did, he glared at the two males; _back the fuck up_, written all over his face.

And it was only for her safety. He was not jealous, what the fuck gave anyone _that _idea?

* * *

Sasuke shook his head just as soon as he arrived to the car, stepping into the back seats along with Sakura.

"You're taking me to get my car back."

"Dude," Suigetsu started the car and looked at Sasuke from the rear-view-mirror, "how much can it hurt to just leave it there for the night? I mean, you don't have any classes tomorrow anyway."

Sasuke growled, "'Getsu, I'm taking it to Kiba's tonight."

"Okay! Okay, jeez. I swear, you two and you obsessions with these metal-shits is crazy."

Sasuke was too busy having a triumphant smirk on his lips to say anything. Besides, once Kiba heard Suigetsu say such things.... It almost made Sasuke laugh.

* * *

**_The Merriam-Webster Definition Of Awkward:_**

_Main Entry: **awk·ward** _

_Pronunciation: \ˈawe-kwərd\_

_Function: adjective_

_Etymology: Middle English awkeward in the wrong direction, from awke turned the wrong way, from Old Norse ǫfugr; akin to Old High German abuh turned the wrong way_

_Date: 1530_

_**1** obsolete **:** __perverse_  
_**2** archaic **:** __unfavorable__, __adverse_  
_**3 a** **:** lacking dexterity or skill (as in the use of hands) **b** **:** showing the result of a lack of expertness  
**4 a** **:** lacking ease or grace (as of movement or expression) **b** **:** lacking the right proportions, size, or harmony of parts **:** __ungainly__  
**5 a** **:** lacking social grace and assurance **b** **:** causing embarrassment  
**6** **:** not easy to handle or deal with **:** requiring great skill, ingenuity, or care._

The Sakura Haruno Addition To The Merriam-Webster Entry:

_**7 : **Sitting in a car with two scheming friends while sharing the back seat with a guy who you had heatedly made out with in the boys locker not any more than three hours previously._

**May the Force be with you.

* * *

**.

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Extra thoughts from us:

**les**:don't get sad - get glad! also, get imaginations - if there are no emails in a chapter, doesn't mean they've stopped emailing for weeks.  
**sonya**: sara is the queen of typos. it makes me laugh. hopefully you all liked the sasusaku. we love you all.  
**Saraa**: if this doesn't even _begin_ to make sense, it's probs my fault. LOVE&AIR KISSES!


	15. how to feel awkward around one's cousins

So. Hi. (Bee-tee-dubs, thanks for the support, but just so you all know; the more you tell us to tone something down, the more outrageous we get. Why? Because we can, kthnxbai.)  
**Dedication**: To all those that review on a consistent basis - we ADORE you ladies and gents (and you know who you are).  
**Disclaimer**: Own? What is this "own" of which you speak?

* * *

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* * *

"Where's my car?"

Itachi's eyes flickered out of his law textbook to see his little brother, hunched over with his hands stuffed into his pockets, before returning to how the Magna Carta changed how governments functioned.

"Did you misplace it or something?" Of course he _knew_ where his foolish little brother's car was, but if its owner didn't know...

Well, that could only be used for a bit for amusement.

He barely contained a smirk as he heard Sasuke growl under his breath.

"No, I did not. How does someone misplace a _car_?"

Unable to hold back any longer, Itachi lowered his book and smirked at Sasuke. "Well, I was about to ask you that very question."

Sasuke looked like he was about to lunge at him, but he just _barely_ contained himself.

Itachi couldn't help but stiffen when Sasuke's eyes narrowed with the predatory gleam that all Uchiha's- except for Shisui, who was way too nice- got when they wanted to manipulate someone into doing what they want with information that would have a negative effect on the one the information is about. He often had that look and it made him weary that _Sasuke_- who was not really the best at using said information to his advantage- got that look. He was _very_ weary indeed.

"Itachi, drive me to the Mutt's house," his brother pronounced.

He blinked. "No." After all, he was busy and Sasuke couldn't even be bothered to use basic manners! Where was _please_? Not that he would have said yes even if it _had_ been used...

"You will." And then there was almost a maniacal look in Sasuke's eyes... "Or..."

"Or what?" Itachi narrowed his own eyes.

"Or I'll tell Shisui about that one time where you spied on her, Hana's, and Temari's Girl's Night In to find out if they were _really_ going to sneak out to a party with Kotetsu."

And right before Itachi's disbelieving eyes, he flashed a DVD in front of his face.

"I bet it's blank."

"Really?" Sasuke brought it a little closer. Itachi could see the colored rings that meant that there was material recorded on it. Taking advantage of Sasuke's distance (or lack thereof), Itachi swiped the disk and broke it in half.

He smirked...

... until he saw his little brother smirking too.

"You really think that's the only copy?"

* * *

Hana's house was kind of Shisui's go-to place, when there was nothing else to do. There was always something going on, always someone around, always something to get in to, always something to _do_. Shisui's own home was nothing like that.

She was curled up on Hana's couch, almost three-quarters of the way asleep. Hana had just gone out to get more sherbet (Hana was fond of the icey, fruity treat) - if Shisui was lucky, it would pomegranate.

And even right now, when her own friend was elsewhere, Shisui was welcomed. Hana's mother (the woman was Shisui's hero - feminism _for the win_) had always been good about that. Really, the only other person in the house was Hana's younger brother, Kiba.

And he didn't pose much of a threat. He was too laid back to care what Shisui did.

For that matter... He was standing in the kitchen, and from what Shisui could see, he wasn't wearing a shirt. Mmm, pretty boy. "Kiba, could you grab me a Coke, or something?"

Kiba looked up, and blinked at Shisui. His older sister's best friend was lounging on the couch, her long, curly black hair piled on top of her head. Long bare legs, too - how the hell was she wearing a skirt in this weather? It was bloody well freezing out there - winter in Konoha was not a pleasent thing by any stretch of the imagination.

Distantly, Kiba thought that Shisui was very pretty.

But she still had nothing on Ino.

And she was kind of like an older sister to him, anyways. So he grabbed a can of Coke out of the fridge, and brought it over to her. He was tempted to dump it over her head, but figured that keeping his balls attached was probably the better, more intelligent, infinitely less painful thing to do.

"Here you go, weirdo," he told her with a bored, bland look.

"Thanks, kiddie," she replied with an equally bland look, before it morphed into a mischievious smirk. "You might want to grab your phone, it's buzzing in a very pissed off way. Just so you know."

"Shit," Kiba murmured, and dove at his phone. A text from the Emo Prince. Of course.

**From: Emo Prince  
To: Mutt  
I'll be there in ten. Don't do anything stupid.**

Kiba rolled his eyes, and pretended to not hear the dark giggles coming out of Shisui's mouth.

**From: Mutt  
To: Emo Prince  
fuck off.**

He sent the text off, and started when he heard the door open. Hana walked in, carrying a bundle of what looked like supplies for a Girls Night In. Kiba shuddered. Whenever those _horrible_, _horrible_ things happened, he got the hell out of the house. But the stupid Prick would be over in a bit...

"KIBA, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, AND HELP ME PUT AWAY THE GROCERIES!" Hana bellowed from the front door.

Kiba scoffed, and went to do as he was told.

* * *

"Stop."

The terse command didn't sit well with Itachi, so he accidentally-on-purposely stepped on the accelerator and not the break.

"Wait, did I just go past it?" he said with sarcasm, speeding up again. "We'll just go around the block."

"You _moron_. Why don't you just turn into a driveway and I'll _walk_?"

"Mother does not want you to strain yourself."

"Kami, Itachi, I'm not a friggin' invalid."

"Well, you could have fooled me." Itachi stopped on the other side of the block. "You can walk from here, right?"

"Just go around the whole damn block already!"

* * *

"Need help with those bags?"

Itachi leaned on the side of the car, a smirk on his lips as the stupid _wind_ blew his ponytail. If she hadn't known him since middle school, she would have thought that he was going to hit on her. If she hadn't been dating Kotetsu, she would have called him attractive.

But Hana knew better and she knew he was a complete _pansy_ who didn't realize he was in _love_ with his 'cousin'.

So she smacked him upside the head and gave him the lightest bag. "Do you think you can handle that, sweetums?"

He gave her a blank stare, and Hana just raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't make me hurt you, Ita. Put that in the kitchen."

* * *

Scowling, he grabbed another bag before the Inuzuka could reprimand him for not having faith in his masculinity

Itachi stepped through the front door and immediately started removing his shoes. A casual glance around caused him to stop and direct his attention down.

At a pair of heeled boots that he knew almost as well as his own leather shoes.

Shisui- who he hadn't seen in two weeks despite a plethora of voicemail messages, emails, and texts- was here.

He didn't know how he should feel. After all, by now, it was easy to see that she had been avoiding him, which made him feel more than a little betrayed. Best friends- because they were _best friends_- didn't avoid each other. They discussed problems thoroughly to solve them. That much he knew. Until now, he had been a little doubtful that she was still in town. The idea of talking to her parents had crossed his mind a few times, but it was always uncomfortable because they gave him this penetrating stare as if they could x-ray him and see that he had done _something_ wrong. Talking to Sai? No way. Itachi honestly had no trouble with his younger cousin being gay, but he didn't feel quite _comfortable_ with him just yet.

Another part of him felt relieved that she was okay- after all, she hadn't been abducted by little green men or pirates from Somalia.

But all of these thoughts and feelings and questions were pushed aside for the burning _need_ to see her again... And because he was shoved aside by his broody younger brother. Itachi turned to stare at said brother (and only brother, he'd like to add) as he kicked his red vans off his feet.

"You ponder about _everything, _Itachi. It's annoying. Take off your shoes. That's all you have to do." Sasuke was teasing him. With an indifferent tone. How this was possible, only he and Sasuke could know. Sasuke shoved him again, going into the foyer and greeting the Inuzukas as politely as Sasuke could.

Itachi shook his head and stared at the boots again. His heart escalating. But that was only because he needed to see her again. He did. And he _would_.

So he sped into the kitchen, carefully set down the bags, and traversed the house with the intention of finding his wayward cousin.

Side two kicked Side One in the jugular for being so unromantic.

* * *

Shisui froze.

She could hear footsteps against the linoleum floor - and she _knew_ that walk. She _knew_ that cadence, the same way she knew her heart beat just a millisecond faster then his did. Oh no, oh no, oh no, no, no, _no, no, NO_. _Damnit_, it had been going so well - he had been out of her life, and, sure, it had hurt so much that most days, she thought she was going to be sick, but this - this wasn't fair.

She had to _get out of here_ before he managed to get through the front hall, and past Hana - had she forgotten?

No, Shisui figured; Hana didn't forget things like that. It had to be that she wanted them to figure their 'issues' out.

But there weren't any issues.

None.

How was she going to get over him if he never gave her the chance to... to just stop, and breathe, and stop _thinking_ for a bit? Shisui had never been good at confrontation. This was no different; she just wanted to let everything between them _die_.

She bit her lip, and steeled herself for the inevitable meeting.

Unless.

Unless.

Unless she drew him on a wild goose chase through the house, grabbed her boots, and booked it home. Could she steal Hana's shoes? They were better to run in - but it was cold. And Shisui wasn't in the mood to deal with freezing cold legs. Then again, it was probably better to just _get the hell_ out of there.

"Shisui," a cool, gray-ribbon-of-silk voice uttered.

Shisui gulped, and let her curls curtain around her face. _Please, god, why me?_ she thought. This was _not_ going to be pretty.

* * *

She didn't look any different than she had the last time Itachi saw her. Her hair fell around her face in inky spirals that he wanted to touch to see if they would curl around his fingers.

But there were some changes, he had to admit.

Dark eyes warily watched him as he stood in the doorway. It was almost like a slap in the face, seeing her treat him as a stranger, long legs tense, poised to run at his slightest move. Not only were her eyes wary, but they seemed to analyze him, calculating. Tight lines had begun to appear around her eyes. Her jaw was clenched as if there was something she wanted to say, though her eyes displayed a reluctant anger and trepidation at his appearance.

She said nothing.

"Are you okay? You look... stressed."

* * *

She let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She had been _trying_ to relax. And failing, yeah, but that was a given. And he didn't need to know that. It just- just- yeah, he didn't need to know that.

"I'm - fine," she murmured, barely loud enough for him to hear, mute over the static that was the tension in the room. She tucked her hair behind her ear, and got up off the couch, knees bending, body taut with apprehension, and she stood before him, dark eyes -blue, today, again, like always- flashing dim anger and emotional exhaustion.

"Hana," she called, "I'm going home. Can I catch a ride? It's cold out there."

She wouldn't even look him in the face - she just couldn't. Because she knew that if she did, she would break, and two weeks worth of work, two weeks of pain, two of avoidance of her favourite person on the planet, two weeks of tired-from-crying eyes... Two weeks of her life would go down the drain, and Shisui just wasn't okay with that.

She brushed past Itachi's chest as she breezed oh-so-casually out of the living room. She caught a whisper-scent of his cologne, and she was almost - _almost_ tempted to turn around and start screaming at him. She didn't even know how she managed to restrain herself - no clue, really.

She told herself not to breathe.

* * *

How do you describe losing someone?

It's that sinking feeling in your chest where a hole gradually grows until it feels like it's eaten away all of yourself. It's like eating all of a bag of chips and reaching your hand into the bag... only to realize that there's nothing left- that you've used up your time and it's time to move on, even if you don't want to. It's how you stare after someone that you've grown to feel like it's a part of you, watching them drift away, detached. It feels like dying, oh so slowly, with not even pain to keep you company while you die.

Itachi felt like that, but nothing at the same time.

So he just dropped the facade that he was Okay When He Was Not and did what he felt was right.

He ran after Shisui.

Not his cousin.

Shisui.

The girl that confused him and messed up his insides.

He ran after her.

Side Two laughed maniacally at Side One as it did a dance not unlike what is seen when a touchdown is scored.

* * *

Shisui skidded through the house, grabbed her shoes, and ducked into Kiba's room - first open door there was.

And there was _nowhere to hide_.

**_Crap_.**

And, really, Shisui was _not_ ready for this confrontation. She wasn't ready for it at all, because she knew it was going to hurt. And she wasn't ready for the hurt. She hadn't built up an resistance to him yet. She hadn't even-

The only place to hide, Shisui realized, was under the bed. She gulped, and prayed that Kiba would forgive her the intrusion, because she _really_ needed somewhere to hide. She dropped to her knees, and carefully squeezed underneath the bedframe - luckily, it was high off the ground, and it would cover her entirely - the bedsheets and skirt ran long.

She slowed her racing heart with slow, minimal breaths. _Please don't let him hear me. YOU OWE ME THIS, WORLD. I need some _time_, okay?!_

_

* * *

_The world didn't seem to be on his side today.

Itachi didn't know the Inuzuka house really well, unlike Shisui, who came over to have Girl Time with Hana at least three times a week. And, considering how she ran from him, he had to find her if he wanted to talk to her.

Dammit.

He came to a hallway with only a few doors open. Since she had moved so fast, if she had opened a door, he would have heard it.

So the open rooms...

The first one he came to was Kiba's, evident from the hockey and football gear strewn around the room. Something that looked suspiciously like a sock was dangling precariously from his hockey stick in the faraway corner.

There was a lot of places for Shisui to hide here...

Itachi hesitated by the door.

* * *

Kiba had just finished putting away the groceries when Itachi went blowing past him, chasing after the black-and-cream flash that was probably Shisui. Kiba sighed. Great - they were going to have a spat; and that could never be a good thing (from what Sasuke had said, Itachi and Shisui had been having angst / unresolved sexual tension issues over each other for years. Then again, that _was_ Sasuke, so it very well may be questionable...).

And so Kiba figured he might as well follow the older man, and figured out just what the hell Itachi thought he was doing. He ambled after the frantic Itachi, and found him standing haphazardly in the middle of Kiba's room, looking a little bit... _flustered_.

Kiba was very, very tempted to laugh. "Dude, Itachi, what the hell? You look like you just saw a ghost, or somethin'."

* * *

Uchiha's did not sulk, but Itachi was pretty sure he was coming close. Shisui was evading him more than she avoided AP Calculus their senior year and there was _nothing_ she hated- hate is a strong word, but there was really no other word to describe how much she _really, really, really_ didn't like it- more than calculus.

It made him wonder what that said about him.

"Dude, Itachi, what the hell? You look like you just saw a ghost, or somethin'."

Itachi saw Kiba approach him from the corner of his eye, heard his query, but didn't say anything, prefering to keep his attention focused on the current suspected encampment of his cousin _(Side One pushed Side Two over for that)._

Kiba's room.

He waited patiently for said owner to _get the fuck away_.

* * *

Kiba just stared at Itachi's back.

When Itachi didn't answer, he didn't even blink.

Seriously, when it came to Itachi (actually, when it came to most of the Uchiha family, excluding Shisui), sometimes it was just better to let them do what they wanted. This was _clearly_ the case, here.

So instead, Kiba just shrugged, and walked away. Eh, as long as the dude didn't fuck around in his room, he didn't give a shit.

* * *

Itachi was tired.

Leaning against the doorway, he turned his gaze to the grooves on the floor where someone had apparently run their hockey stick over it manymanymanymany times over.

"I know you can hear me, Shisui," he said quietly, examining the wood-scars as if they had all of the secrets of the world on them- like how to deal with your best friend-cousin-person-who-feels-more-than-your-cousin-on-occasion.

"So I guess I'll say it now because I know you'd never hear it if I said it to your face and I don't think I'll be able to say it to your face anyways." There's a rattling gasp when Itachi took a breath, feeling as if he was close to hacking up half a lung, but there was this weird pain in his heart that felt like it was breaking into a million different pieces.

Perhaps it was heartburn?

"I don't know what happened. All... God, I sound like a combination of a soap and Uzumaki. But that's not really that important.

"The past... what, two weeks have been the strangest of my life. We've been best friends for years. You were the reason I went Trick-or-Treating every single October thirty-first. Not even Mother could convince me, but you did. Because of you, I've done so many things that, I'll admit, would have never happened without you.

"I'm saying this, aren't I?

"But ever since the ice skating mission thing- when we followed Sasuke... and we had that fight after going to The Magic Bean...

"What was that even about? You suddenly walked out of there and it is one of your favorite places. Even I could tell you were upset... All I know is I said something that really upset you. And you know, I have no idea what I did wrong."

Itachi pushed off of the door frame and stood in the middle of the doorway. Taking small steps backward, he whispered a whisper that echoed in the small room.

"If you really hate me- and it seems like you do- I am not going to force you to see me. I love you, but that means I only want what you want-" breath "-whatever you want me from me.

"You know where I am."

He stuffed his hands in his pocket similarly to how his brother did on a daily basis and walked away.

Down the hall...

Down the two front steps...

Into the snow...

...and out of Shisui's life.

Hours later, Itachi still couldn't figure out what kind of love he had been referring to- Side One and Two weren't talking.

Because some things you have to figure out for yourself.

* * *

Shisui stayed under Kiba's bed for a long time.

She wasn't thinking.

She wasn't feeling.

She was barely even breathing.

She was just _blank_.

Love? Did Itachi even know what love _was_?

She would get that far, and then she would go blank again. She didn't - couldn't think. And she probably would have stayed there the rest of the day, and all night, had Hana not come, and pulled her out.

Shisui didn't even mind the scolding. It went in one ear and right out the other.

_**Does** **not** **compute**_.

* * *

Hana stared at her best friend.

She had stopped talking to Shisui half an hour ago, but it didn't look like the shell-shocked girl had realized it. Her eyes were wide and glazed, looking for all the world like two blueberry Krispy Kreme doughnut holes.

Shisui looked like she had been metaphorically ripped to shreds and then sewed back together by Jack the Ripper.

In other words, she seemed to be in a worse state than she had been before Itachi had come over. Hana had tried to give the two privacy so they could fix the mess that was the two of them...

But she should have known better.

_It_ was an _Uchiha_, after all.

Therefore The Mission: Hunt down the Uchiha and tear him to pieces.

Hana _liked_ this plan.

A lot.

* * *

"Can I go home, now?" Shisui asked Hana.

She'd been force-fed ice-cream for a good two hours, and she was really starting to feel ill. At this rate, she wasn't gonna be able to eat ice-cream for a week. She had a massive brain-freeze. It was horrible. And, seriously. No ice-cream.

That was a tragedy. No joke.

Hana just glared at her, and Shisui stared straight back. She was still almost entirely blank of emotion. Really, all she wanted was her bedroom, and sad music, and maybe-possibly to break something. Or anything.

She just didn't really want to think anymore. Everything was just... just... ASFJKL, NO WORDS.

Hana sighed. Shisui was tuned out again. "Alright, I'll take you home, you... bah, I'm killing that bastard."

Shisui smiled at Hana weakly - it was the first emotion that had showed up on her face in more then a two-hour period. Hana found this to be an improvement, and got Shisui home in ten minutes. Easy as pie.

She waved at her friend as Hana drove off -probably to pester Kotetsu - seriously, she was glad they were dating, they were good together-, she steeled herself, and walked into her house. _Pleasepleaseplease just let me get upstairs and go to sleep. I'm sick of living._

"Shisui? Is that you?"

Shisui mentally banged her head against a wall. She walked into the kitchen, and tilted her head at her mother. "Yeah, mom?"

Her mother smiled. "Oh, good, it is you. It's Sunday; we're going to your aunt and uncle's tonight for supper, remember? Wear something nice, dear."

Everything inside Shisui shut down again. Oh, _dear fucking god._

_WHY?!_

* * *

Itachi came home to his mother setting the giant table for a massive dinner.

Great.

Shisui was coming over.

After his little talk at Hana's, he most certainly didn't feel ready to face her.

Kisame, Deidara, and Sasori _had_ been complaining they hadn't seen him very much. They were _also_ upset that they hadn't gotten much of Mikoto Uchiha's cooking lately...

Why not kill three birds with one stone?

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Shisui smoothed her black dress-with-a-tulle-skirt-underneath (hee, tulle skirts were either wonderful or horrible - this one was wonderful; edged in satin) down over her thighs; she seemed to be doing that a lot, lately. It was a good distraction from her mother's constant hovering, and her brother's constant I-just-came-out-this-is-awkward, and her father's constant denial.

She was _really_ not in the mood for this.

_Really_.

But Shisui knew there was no way she was getting out of this. She sighed, and leaned her head against the window of the car. What was even the _point_ of driving? Seriously, it took less time to walk then it did to drive. Shisui sent a pessimistic glare out to the rest of the world.

People were going to die at this Family Dinner.

Shisui was sure of it.

* * *

One minute and seventeen seconds.

Itachi's mind was functioning as a countdown clock like a bomb, counting down to when Shisui would arrive. What would happen, he wondered. He knew that she had heard what he'd said, but what had she thought?

Shaking his head, he snapped his neck around when someone said, "Are you okay?"

At seven feet tall, Kisame towered over Itachi's head much like his father had towered over him when he had been young. The biggest difference was simply the look of genuine concern on his college roommate's face. He only roomed with Kisame during the week, but he knew him even more from their jobs at Akatsuki. It spoke well of their comraderie of sorts that he could tell simply from Itachi's rigid back that something was bothering him.

"Shisui..."

Nodding somewhat sagely, Kisame asked, "Is this about the kiss thi-aksjdhf?"

With the speed of lightning, Itachi clasped his hand over his friend's mouth. "That never happened," he hissed. Removing his hand slowly, he turned to stare at the door with a haunted look in his eyes.

For a few seconds, he didn't talk before abruptly saying, "She's not talking to me. We got into a little argument and, ever since then, she hasn't talked to me. Shisui has been _going_ out of her way to not talk to me, I think."

Kisame clapped him on the back in one of those "manly hugs of solidarity" that he was always talking about when he wasn't discussing meditation and deep breathing.

"Women are complicated."

Itachi bit his tongue slightly when he wanted to say that Shisui was his cousin, not a woman per se.

Side Two clapped himself in the forehead and bemoaned something about two steps forward and one and a half steps back.

* * *

.

* * *

Sasuke was lounging on the Inuzukas' living room; on a couch, to be specific. He had that completely bored look on his face as he stared at the blank screen of the TV. He was slouched, his knees almost meeting the coffee table (filled with... magazines?) and his hands stuffed into his Northface jacket's pockets.

He was in the process of thinking when Kiba stalked over and with an amused (excited, god, the Mutt was _excited_) voice said, "Ino's coming over."

It took a second for that to sink into Sasuke's brain before he was up and making his way to the door. "...I'm getting the fuck out of here."

He ignored Kiba's chuckles and slipped his red vans back on, muttered some obscenities and opened the front door. His blood ran cold (though, being Sasuke, he did not show this on the exterior) when he saw a convertible park right behind his newly polished Camaro. The people riding said convertible? A blond and a rosette.

Hell no.

Sasuke slammed the door shut (just to be reopened by the ever amused Kiba), skipped the stairs by jumping them and made his way to his car, keys already at in his hands. What he had forgotten in his haste to get away from the flaily blond and the annoying rosette, was that it was an inevitable fact that he was going to have to cross path with them... they just _had _to park their car in back of his, didn't they?

Well, maybe if he kept his eyes lowered and continued to walk at a fast pace, they wouldn't bother talking with him. This seemed to be working as he neared the passenger's side of his car... _seemed _being the key word.

"WAIT."

Sasuke damned himself for actually stopping to look. His eyes landed on Sakura's distressed face. He darted his eyes to a grinning Ino and then to a _still _amused Kiba before returning his attention to her, an eyebrow raised an question. She looked around, as if this place was unknown territory and she wanted out ASAP. "TAKE ME WITH YOU."

He blinked as he watched her near him, cling to his arm almost helplessly. Sasuke was bemused at her actions and began his attempt to shake her off. "Let me go, will you?"

"Get me out of here," she hissed at him as she released him.

His eyes darted to the hickey on her neck and a smirk fought it's way to his lips as he turned to look at Ino and Kiba again. "Fine," he spat out as he walked to the driver's side. He unlocked the door for her, waited for her to get inside and started the car. He drove off in a fury, his way of escaping the horrible teasing Kiba was _so _going to be doing to him for the next century.

He was about to demand directions to where she wanted to be dropped off before a vibration in his skinnies' pockets stopped him. With one hand on the steering-wheel, he took his G1 out and scanned the message.

**From: Mother  
To: Sasuke-kun  
Sasuke-kun, tonight's the dinner with your uncle, aunt and cousins. Are you planning to arrive home any time soon?**

Sasuke sighed and waited to come to a stoplight to reply**.**

**From: Sasuke-kun  
To: Mother  
Yes, I remember. I'll be there in a bit.**

He placed the device on the cup-holder-thing and made a right turn on the next stoplight. From his peripheral vision, he caught Sakura looking around with wide eyes, trying to make up where he was heading to. "Where are you taking me?" she demanded.

"My house."

"...._Why_?"

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Look, there's this family dinner shit about to go on. If I'm late, I'll be in the spotlight and that's the last thing I want. So just sit tight, and appreciate the free meal... and ridicule you're about to witness."

Sakura scoffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest, "You don't have to be such a damn jerk about everything."

"Hn."

"I _hate _it when you say that!"

* * *

Sakura had no idea where Sasuke's house was. For all she knew, it was halfway between Konoha and Kiri.

Snuggling herself as far into the leather seats as she could, she tried to ignore how she could smell _him_ with every breath she took. It was rather disorienting.

To distract herself from how it brought back quite a few memories considering she'd only known him for a few weeks- or was it months?- she closed her eyes...

Drew in a deep breath...

And let herself relax...

:::

Before Sasuke's stunned eyes, she fell asleep.

* * *

.

* * *

Shisui blanked her emotions out. Flattened them, squashed them, pressed them into a tiny little box for further examination, when she had the time and the solitude that would be required for the the cry-fest that was sure to come. She folded her hands neatly in her lap.

Waited.

Shivered.

Waited some more.

Her father parked the car on the street, and Shisui unbuckled herself. Slid out of the car. Let her hair fall pell-mell across her face. Hide her eyes. She had stopped praying. Seriously. If there _was_ such a thing as a Higher Being, he or she was _clearly_ a jerk. Obviously. It was _not_ her fault she was shaking. _Obviously_.

Or maybe it was just that Shisui had no idea to deal with what was coming next. Really, she didn't even know if she _wanted_ to deal with it.

Her stomach churned as her family - Sai kept close to her side, little-brother-worry -they always know in his dark, _Uchiha_ eyes. Shisui smiled tiredly at him, and reached over to ruffle his hair. He was taller then she was, now. Awkwarder then she was used to. He looped his arm around her shoulders (and she saw the flash of a rainbow-bracelet on his wrist - seriously, how had she _ever_ thought he'd been straight?), and she hugged him. He was still her little brother.

Shisui didn't care about anything other then that. He was still her little brother.

Still her little brother.

* * *

Itachi opened the door to see Shisui and Sai standing on the doorstep with their parents. Silently, he held the door open. Perhaps he imagined how Shisui was the first one to pass through. Maybe it had been his imagination when he saw her pause slightly by him. There was no way she had opened her mouth to say something.

Because she glided right past him.

He didn't notice how the black dress she wore enhanced the natural lithe build of her body and hugged every curve it could find. He didn't see long white legs that disappeared as she walked away with unusual speed.

At least that's what he told himself.

* * *

Shisui headed straight for the family room. She refused to look at Itachi, refused to look anywhere but straight ahead of her. She would stay for dinner, and then ditch out on a homework plea... something, _anything_ to get her out of here.

Everything had acquired a blurry, painful tinge to it.

Shisui clasped her arms around herself, and slipped into said family room. She suddenly wasn't alone; Kisame, Sasori, and Diedara were sitting around, one the couches. She smiled at them; it was Kisame who stood up. He gave her a sympathetic look, and opened his arms to hug her.

Shisui bit back another smile. Seriously, she adored Itachi's friends - missed them. Why had she not made the effort to see them, recently (oh, yeah, it had to do with a certain adoptive cousin, and possibly a very, very drunk Temari)?

So, instead of wailing like she wanted to, she simply threw her arms around Itachi's best friend, and practically hugged the life out of him.

* * *

Kisame liked water.

Like, a lot.

Maybe not as much as one of The Little Itachi's friend seemed to like it- the dude was probably draining the world's oceans as he thought and then _everyone_ was going to be standing on massive landmasses and looking down into these deep trenches- but anyway.

He didn't really like how his shirt was gaining a lot of wet weight.

But he knew Shisui almost as much as he knew Itachi's Foolish Little Brother and he knew that there was one Uchiha trait that she had that was probably nurture more than nature (he thanked Ibiki-sensei for beating that into him a few years back) - emotion suppression. Considering the state of his shirt, he was pretty sure she'd been holding in tears for weeks.

When Itachi peeked his head into the family room, Kisame made a show of patting the bereft girl on the back.

All the while flipping Itachi off for being a complete _slowmo_.

Had Itachi ever looked into Shisui's eyes?

Buddha, Uchihas were stupid.

Almost as much as girls were complicated.

* * *

Shisui pulled away from Kisame's now-pretty-much-soaked shoulder. "Sorry," she said quietly.

He gave her a sharp-toothed grin, and gestured to the couch. Shisui was pretty sure her eyes were red, but she just sat nodded, smiled a little, and sat down next to Deidara. The blond put an arm around her shoulders, and murmured "Let's get you some cover-up. And you just cried your mascara off."

He tutted, and Shisui let out a watery giggle.

Oh, why couldn't straight boys be this amazing? (Sure, Kisame was straight - but he and Yuugao had been dancing around each other for _months_ now. And as much as Shisui hated to admit, she had probably over-reacted at The Magic Bean... and she knew Yuu-chan thought Itachi was too much of a prick to ever want to date him... but _still_.)

Deidara tutted, and simply dragged the just-cried-her-eyes-out girl towards the bathroom.

Shisui had almost never been happier.

* * *

.

* * *

You know what Sasuke hated? He hated when his parking space was taken. Like, you know... _his _parking space. His. The one where _his _car goes. God, sometimes he wanted to torch Itachi's friends alive. Seriously, they were so goddamn annoying - they were _worse _than Suigetsu, Naruto, Neji and Kiba. In all seriousness.

And why the hell were they _here_?! God, his mother needed some restraint. She loved those idiots way too much.

Growling and grumbling, he parked his car right behind his uncle's (WHICH WAS NOT HIS PARKING SPACE, DAMMIT.) and turned the ignition off. He turned to the sleeping girl and narrowed his eyes. Why did he bring her again?

...She was _sleeping_. Part of him wanted to leave her here because he wouldn't want to bother with waking her up. That other annoying part of him demanded he wake her, though. So Sasuke took one of her shoulders into his grip and shook her awake.

"Wake up."

He blinked when an arm automatically shot up to smack him.

* * *

Sakura was always intolerant of being woken up before she was ready.

She liked to think that she was a very nice person who could compromise on everything.

Everything but her sleep, that is.

So, when she was in the middle of this delicious smelling dream, she was understandably upset when this really pretty voice told her to wake up and started shaking her like she was three.

Solution: smack said pretty-voice, pretty-smelling guy in the face.

When she opened her disoriented eyes, Sakura yawned. "Are we there yet?"

* * *

Sasuke rubbed at his temples and unlocked the doors, "No, Sakura, we're not. There's no reason for me to have parked here. Really."

Rolling his eyes, he stepped out of the car, slamming the door closed, he waited for Sakura to grasp what he said and did and therefore step out of the car as well so he could relock them. Sighing, and stuffing his hands back into his jacket's pockets, he stared at his house, already dreading the entrance he was fated to make.

He shook his head and made to walk up the walkway.

"C'mon," he muttered.

One thing, he decided, that was for sure: his mother was going to _flail_.

* * *

Sakura easily caught up with Sasuke's longer strides, not even slightly out of breath from running.

"So what is this about?" she asked as they approached the front door of a rather imposing Victorian-style house. Many windows cluttered its cream walls, giving Sakura the eerie feeling that she was being watched.

Sasuke seemed to huddle deeper into himself. His mouth stuffed into the collar of his dark northface, Sakura barely caught the words, "...bi-monthly dinner thing..."

Upon reaching the door, her mouth twitched. "So I'm about to meet your parents? Wow..."

Sasuke looked horrified, which only grew more horrified as the door flew open and a woman exclaimed, "It's my Sasu-chan! And he brought home a _girl_. We're going to have to expand the size of his bedroom now..."

* * *

Sasuke wanted to die.

A quick and painless death. Because, dear god, his mother was so fuckin' _embarrassing_. Seriously - he could already feel the burning in the tips of his ear... They were probably growing red already. Sasuke shrunk back into his jacket and huffed indignantly.

"Mother, would you stop that," he drawled, "It gets annoying."

"Sasu-chan! Who is this lovely _girl _you have brought as your guest?"

Sasuke blinked and turned to Sakura and then back to his mother. "This is Sakura."

He walked up the steps of the porch and tried to get passed his mother... but the flaily woman was blocking the entrance. Mikoto was staring at Sakura with a big grin on her lips and Sasuke decided that bringing her along had been a _baaaad _idea. Seriously. Now his mother was going to think she meant something special to him and flail and ask for her and demand he bring her over and Sasuke couldn't handle this.

He groaned in displeasure.

* * *

If that... _child_... If Sasu-_chyan_, was groaning about her, Sakura was going to put an end to the Uchiha line with the stomp of her high-heeled leather boots.

On the outside, she put on her shy smile- the one she won over parents with. "Hi, I'm Sakura Haruno. It's really nice to meet you, Mrs. Uchiha." She really didn't care that Sasuke was giving her the _you suck-up you_ look because the really happy look on his mother's face lit up her pale face and made her black hair shine even more. It made it worth dealing with Sasuke and (if she were to judge based on him) his weird family. "I'm sorry if I'm dropping in, but Sasuke decided to bring me here for some... somewhat unexplained reason."

She turned up the wattage in her smile.

* * *

"Oh of course, honey! Any friend of Sasu-chan is welcomed here!"

Sasuke sighed and shifted his weight from one leg to the other, "Mother, can I get inside now."

Mikoto _beamed, _she was so... happy. And she nodded her head vigorously and allowed the two inside. Her heart pounded and she was so excited and maybe this girl was it! She just _had _to be! She was beautiful and her eyes were gorgeous and she was... Oh, Mikoto could only hope.

Sasuke, on the other hand, shook his head and walked inside, heading straight for the dinning room. Of course, he had to make sure Sakura was following him and not becoming a victim of his mother; when he saw said mother going in for the attack, Sasuke grabbed Sakura's hand and pulled her closer.

* * *

They were just a few feet away from his mother when Sasuke drew her close so that he could say something quietly just to her. From everyone else's perspective, it looked like they were simply having a boyfriend-to-girlfriend talk. A way for a nervous girl to be comforted by her boyfriend when it came to meeting his family.

Relatively normal.

Unless you heard what they were saying, of course.

"Whatever you do," he hissed in her ear, "do _not_ mention: babies; the future; plans; conception; inheritance; or anything of that nature."

Sakura gave him a weird look. "Ummm... what did you have between when we entered your house and five seconds ago?"

Sasuke shot her a glare. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Welllllll... why don't you tell me what you mean?" She felt like rubbing her temples and screaming in pure frustration. While Sasuke's mother seemed like a nice enough lady, the way her son seemed to treat her like a ticking timebomb... Well, it made her at least the slightest bit nervous.

"If you want to make my mother flail and squeal about pink-haired grandchildren; make my father and brother choke on their food and/or drinks; and make everyone else ask us when we're getting hitched, go right ahead."

"Babies, future, plans, baby-making, genetic linkages?"

"Yeah."

"... Got it."

"Good."

And so the two marched into the room, grasping each other's hands all the tighter as if getting ready to enter Hell itself and meet the devil.

* * *

It was _so goddamn _annoying how everything stopped in the dinning room. All conversation. All interactions. Everything.

Sasuke found himself subconsciously squeezing his hold on Sakura's hand. He sighed and pulled her over, introducing her to his father who had been talking to his brother about some sort of something that didn't really interest Sasuke. And then... And then they took their seats.

When Sasuke looked up, he groaned once Sai came into his focus.

Just great.

* * *

Sakura wanted to throw up.

She legitimetly wanted to empty her stomach completely when she saw that asshole's face. He had _cheated_ on her. There were so many things that she wanted to do- cry, scream, beat him up...

The only question now was- in what order?

* * *

Sasuke stared at Sai.

It was said that they were both quite similar - always devoid of emotions, always blank-faced. Always this, always that. But Sasuke and Sai had one difference - Sasuke was straight, he liked girls. Sai? Sai was gay, he liked guys.

And no, Sasuke did _not _have a problem and he was _not _homophobic. Sai was still his cousin, no matter what. Said cousin just always managed to _irk _him. A lot.

He nodded at him, "Sai."

"Sasuke," Sai nodded back. And then darted his eyes towards Sakura.

Was that a possessive growl rumbling within Sasuke's throat? Of course not, Sai was _gay_.

But Sakura looked like she wanted to cry.

* * *

Sakura felt Sasuke's eyes alternating from glaring at Sai to glancing almost worriedly at her. The sarcastic, teasing side of her wanted to ask him if he was actually worried about her, but most of her...

Most of her was _lost_.

Like, Bermuda-triangle, lost-in-Sasuke's-eyes lost.

Standing up, she smiled jarringly at everyone.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

* * *

Sasuke wondered if she moved on from being emotional in public bathrooms to private ones.

He told himself that the reason he was following her was because he didn't want her to leave a mess in the bathroom that his mother just had redecorated when she tried to drown herself in the showers.

_Liar, liar, pants on fire._

* * *

He stopped right in front of the bathroom in the hallway (she had dashed to the nearest bathroom... weird girl), and part of him wanted to get the fuck out of there and go back to the table - or maybe even his room. But there was this other part of him that... wanted to know if she was okay.

Sasuke was an ass; he knew that he was. But when... God, when people looked like Sakura did - so lost and so confused... He just couldn't set that aside no matter how much he wanted to. Because it was in his nature to not give a rat's ass. It was totally him to care less about people's lives. But this girl... she... He didn't even know. It's just that he... Was actually worried.

He'd admit it now. He cared and he was worried and... what was _wrong _with her?

So with a hesitant hand, he knocked once on the door... and then opened it. Smart girl, he thought sarcastically, she left the door unlocked. Sighing, he slipped inside and closed the door quietly. His eyes framed her in his stare, watched her sit on the closed toilet seat, her face hidden and buried in her hands.

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he stopped a foot away from her sitting for. And with blank, smoldering black eyes he stared at her sitting form, actually _wondering _what was wrong with her. Quietly, he found himself asking, "Are you alright?"

* * *

.

* * *

Itachi stood poker straight by the door, discreetly looking towards the bathroom every couple of seconds. Even if he couldn't see through the door, he felt a little more... reassured when he was keeping an eye on Shisui. Despite it being a roundabout caring habit of his...

He knew he had nothing to worry about with Deidara being alone in the same room as Shisui. After all, the man was in a nice, fulfilling relationship with their other friend, Sasori.

So he tried to ignore the little tinge of worry about Shisui's rather out-of-character behavior that had burrowed itself into his mind and attempted to focus on his foolish little brother.

As in why the boy was rather late and, now that he had made his appearance, he was with the girl with pink hair (Sakura, he recalled Shisui calling her).

Family-dinner-crasher, eh?

And Sai was going to be at the dinner table...

Despite any of his reservations, Itachi was sure that this dinner was about to be _very_ entertaining.

And painful.

A few rooms over, he heard his mother exclaim from the window where she had been watching for Sasuke, "Sasuke's with a _girl_?"

...

But mostly entertaining.

Shaking his head at the sound of his mother trying to get to the door before Sasuke could open it, he made his way to the dining room, which, of course, meant he had to pass the Bathroom of Destiny...

* * *

Shisui was sitting on the toilet seat in the bathroom in the basement - the newly refurbished bathroom on the main floor was simply too small for a man of Deidara's caliber to do make-up in (every girl being made up has had this happen to her _at least once_; don't you dare deny it, Yuugao!), and was having herself made pretty. She let Deidara dust concealer under her eyes; let him wield the mascara brush like a pro; let him pinch and poke and prod, until she was up to the man's very high standards. He sat back, surveyed his work for a moment, and then he clutched his heart.

And then he said, "Shi-chan, love, you are so attractive right now, I would go straight for you if Saso-kun wouldn't get mad."

Shisui just looked at him, mostly deadpan. It was impossible to turn the crying mess that she had been into something remotely attractive - it just _wasn't possible_, no mattter _how_ gay one was. "You're a liar, Dei-Dei."

He looked utterly offended, and flipped his blond hair over his shoulder. "_Please_, Shi-chan! I do not _lie_ about _beauty_!"

And then he moved out of the way, and Shisui got a look at herself in the mirror. Uhm. Well. _Wow_.

Whatever it was that Deidara had done, it had made her _glow_. Her cheeks were sparkling, all traces of her tears were gone, her eyes were smoky and sultry, her lips were the definition of _sheen sparkle sparkle_, and everything was just... _so pretty_. Deidara had folded his arms over his chest, and surveyed her critically again. "Yes, you'll do. Now get _out_ there, and go make Itachi flail like a girl, yes?"

And then he grabbed her, pulled her up off the toilet seat, and shoved her outside, back into the hall.

Shisui stumbled -stupid gay Deidara and his stupid strength-, and hit a very warm block of person. She looked up, and gulped. Life hated her. It just hated her.

"Hi, Ita," she managed.

* * *

_Hn. You have reached Itachi's brain. You know what to do._

_..._

_..._

**_BEEP._**

**... Dear Outer, this is your inner speaking.**

***insert slapping noise***

**Fine, fine, inner_s_ speaking. More than one, you lucky bastard.**

**Side Two: "Now, your kinda sorta lady love is speaking to you. YOU MIGHT WANT TO MOVE YOUR MOUTH SOMETIME SOON."**

**Side One: "Side One is the one that reads those gooshy romance novels. SAY 'HN' AND MOVE YOUR ASS ALONG."**

**If you can't decide, flip a coin.**

**Side Two: "Have a good time!"**

**Side One: *shoves Side Two into a burlap sack, drags him away, and hangs up***

* * *

Shisui bit her lip, and carefully extracted herself from Itachi's arms. He looked more then a little shocked, and Shisui just sort of smiled at him. He hadn't said anything as of yet, and, really, Shisui didn't want to face this.

"C'mon," she told him quietly. "Supper."

There was nothing else to say, was there?

* * *

Itachi wasn't good at words. Never had been, never would be.

If someone wanted words- poetic, charismatic words that were meant to get to people- they should go to Kisame. The man was a bubbling fountain of knowledge. He had phrases and pearls of wisdom for any occasion.

But that's Kisame. Big, blue-ish, shark-esque guy.

Itachi wasn't Kisame.

So he just reached really fast for Shisui's hand and walked with her, side by side, to the dining room.

* * *

Shisui's insides contracted.

That was her _hand_.

Okay, if they had nothing "going on", WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Shisui was very tempted to pull her hand out of his grip, but she really just didn't have the heart. Then again, she didn't know how long she was going to be able to stand this - she hoped to every deity she knew that she didn't have to sit beside him, across from him, anywhere _near_ him.

If she was lucky, Aunt Mikoto would put her far, far away from Itachi.

But with Shisui's luck, she was probably going to be sitting right next to him, because life just hated her.

The two slipped into the dining room. There was an almost-awkward silence... And then, from far away, was the slamming of a door. Shisui blinked, and peeked out towards the entrance. Standing in said entrance were two people.

Shisui nearly started laughing.

Uchiha Tobi. Uchiha Madara. The former was tugging on the latter's sleeve, and the older man just looked bothered.

So this had turned into a family reunion. How lovely. Shisui smiled to herself.

This was going to be _interesting_.

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa**: i am loving Shiny Toy Guns. like, for realz. OH, OH, OH, KORA/ERSKEN FTW. (if anyone gets this reference, you will get love and hugs and cookies, yesyesyes?)  
**sonya**: ROSTO/BEKA. FOREVER & EVER & EVER. i'll give you virtual brownies if you get the reference. ;)  
**les**: now, don't you tell me to smile. punk. shiiiiittt. *insert innocent smile here* i just noticed i have no reference to keep up with... damn, i'm lame.


	16. how to push your kid into premarital sex

we do not apologize for the skipped week. the three of us really needed a break. that, and sonya's computer is kind of a bitch. still.  
**disclaimer**: ha. ha. funny.  
**dedication**: to taking Nice Long Breaks From Everything, making faces in public, being awkward, and **THE CANADA PLAN** WHICH LES MUST BE IN ON. (LES: STOP REMINDING ME HOW MUCH I FUCKIN' SUCK!) (SONYA: EVEN ME WITH MY OVER-PROTECTIVE PARENTS HAVE FOUND A WAY.)  
**notes**: guys, the shit is going to hit the fan soon. bahahaa.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Itachi had never really _liked_ Tobi.

He was like that one cousin you had who, when they ran into you in public, you pretended you didn't have a clue who they were. He was that crazy family member you locked up in the basement or attic when company came over.

But family was family- blood was thicker than water and all that crap- and so he tolerated him.

That was why when Tobi ran over and nearly squeezed Shisui to death in a hug of some sort that looked like an attack, Itachi merely brandished his knife at the over-affectionate Uchiha under the table.

"Tobi-san, Shisui-nee seems to be turning blue," Sai observed clinically.

* * *

Shisui just laughed out loud, and death-squeezed Tobi back. "Hey, you! How have you been?"

Tobi looked her straight in the face, and said very serious "Tobi has been a good boy." He shot a glance at Itachi, and a strange, childish, _scary_ smirk made it's way across his face. He leaned very, very close to Shisui, and murmured in her ear "Shi-chan, Tobi has a new goal for tonight."

Shisui giggled, and whispered back "Oh? What's that, Tobi-chan?"

Tobi's brow wrinkled, and he told her, in his most serious, quiet stage-whisper (Shisui realized he actually was trying to _not_ announce whatever it was to the world - she smiled and hugged him a little tighter. Oh, Tobi) "Tobi's new goal is to make Itachi-san as jealous as Tobi can!"

"And why is that?" she whispered right back.

"Because Itachi-san doesn't understand what Shi-chan is feeling, and Itachi-san _needs_ to understaaaaaand, because Shi-chan is _hurting_!"

And then Tobi was roughly wrenched away, and Shisui found herself staring up at her uncle. She grinned wildly, and shot up straight to hug him "Hi, Uncle Maddy!"

The older man rolled his eyes, but allowed his niece to hug him - Shisui knew he was one of the only people besides her parents and Sai to know that she wasn't strictly Uchiha. Madara was her favourite uncle; always had been, always would be. He was the one who got her the best presents, the one who had taught her to play a piano, the one who had started her on running.

"Hello, Shisui," he told her gently, and Shisui knew his eyes were smiling.

Gosh, she loved her family.

* * *

Growling was rude. It was up there with burping, strangling, and diving at people in public.

Itachi (of course) was usually a exemplar model of decorum. He sipped delicately from his soup spoon; he "bless you"-ed anyone who sneezed within hearing distance of him. For heaven's sake, _he walked little old ladies across the crosswalk if they looked like they needed the help._

The keyword being "usually".

The knife had gone from being shoved at Tobi's pants to his face, but Shisui was always quick on her feet and knocked it away. "Itachi." His name carried all the warning tone that was needed for him to stuff it back into the napkin beside his plate.

"Uncle Madara."

"Itachi."

He was being given a stinky eye by his uncle (he always _knew_ that Shisui was the favorite nephew/niece) while Tobi- _Tobi!_- was giving him a devilish, scheming look.

_Why him?_

* * *

Shisui _fumed_.

There was _no other word for it_. She was **_fuming_**.

Uncle Maddy had gone over to talk to her father, and Tobi had sat down comfortably next to her. He was twitching like a child, and had somehow managed to sling an arm across the back of her chair. It would take all of Shisui's will not to fall over laughing.

Oh, Tobi.

But, really, she was _not_ appreciating the way Itachi was - she didn't even know the word. She did not appreciate the way he was _acting_, the way he was _being_, the way he was _practically fucking **snarling**_.

He didn't have any goddamn right.

Shisui smiled thinly, her lips pressed together, and leaned back against the back of her chair. Silly Tobi. He was chattering animatedly about - something or other. Then again, that was just the way Tobi was - he flailed around like such a _girl_, it was _so funny_, sometimes.

"Tobi-chan, stop poking me!" Shisui half mutter-whined.

Tobi snickere-grinned, and poked her in the side again.

He shot a childish, not-very-subtle glance at Itachi. Tobi admired the lovely muscle twitching in Itachi's jaw. Making Itachi jealous was Not Very Hard, as Tobi had obviously discovered. Hm. Now, how to go about _using_ this information?

Tobi sighed.

So many posibilities, so little time.

* * *

Little cousins are annoying.

Or cousins that act like they're little.

Actually, Itachi had no idea who was older: him or Tobi. So perhaps it was "Cousins named Tobi who are trying to play the Jealous Game are annoying."

Because Itachi- even _Itachi_- could see what he was doing. Tobi had the gift of Obvious. In his not-so-professional opinion, Tobi was probably switched at birth with the _real_ Uchiha child whose name he took because Uchiha's are never obvious.

That's why Itachi unceremoniously tugged Shisui out of the chair _she_ was sitting in and into the seat next to him.

_Tobi: 1. Itachi: -129387._

* * *

.

* * *

The bathroom was a hallway down, but Sakura felt like it was a mile. It didn't help that her ex-boyfriend who she _might or might not_ have turned gay (The optimistic side was already musing on how he might have been gay the _whole fucking time_ and had been using her as a cover-up.) had just said something about someone turning into a giant smurf or something.

She hurried, entered the bathroom, and closed the door as slowly and quietly as possible.

_(sfx: SLAM)_

Turning to face the mirror, she could see the telltale signs of her anguish as the heartache that had been bandaged up so it could mend started bleeding again. Her green eyes- the one that Sai had always said were like literal _windows into her soul_- were glossy with tears that were almost ready to burst the emotional dam she had created to hold them back.

But she had never been the type to last long without showing some kind of emotion. Surprisingly, she had made it so far without crying.

Sasuke.

She was sure that was why. For the past couple days- or weeks, she lost track of time- she had been suspicious, pretty sure that her friends and their "friends" were trying to set her up with that pretty boy with no emotions in his eyes and an icy grip on his heart. But now, she could see all the good that had actually done her.

She owed them- and him, she supposed- the happy times. Since her breakup- although never official (she'd just _assumed_ they were over since she was obviously not his type)- Sakura had _laughed_. A lot. More than she had probably laughed the whole time she had been with Sai.

The door creaked open and Sakura stiffened until she saw the familiar hair walk through the door in the mirror.

It was because of _him_.

* * *

The only renovation his mother had done to the main-floor-bathroom (as Shisui liked to call it, usually he snorted at it... and then she'd smack him... yeah, right) was adding some new kind of tiles to the floor and giving it a new shade paint-job. After all, the main-floor-bathroom was only that: a bathroom. Such as a toilet and a sink (which Sasuke now remembered was new as well) and a fairly large mirror.

It was a small room, smaller than all the other ones around the house, at least.

Sasuke swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbling in protest. He didn't know if anyone had noticed, but, Sasuke had never really been all that good at consoling people. Not even Sharkbait - when _it _happened, he'd only been able to allow his presence to be near his friend as his way of... consolation and even now as the anniversaries of _it _came and went, the most he was able to do was pay for their bar trips.

So imagine his utter awkwardness at seeing Sakura almost in tears.

He didn't know what he had imagined would happen if he stepped inside the bathroom as he chased after her; maybe he would have been alleviated in watching her seething, angry, ranting or possibly giggling at the complete eccentric-ness that was his family. Never had it crossed his mind that she was... in some sort of inner woe.

...What should he do _now_?

He had asked if she was alright, he did. She just didn't answer and instead continued to stare at him through the mirror's reflection. And being an Uchiha (_Sasuke_, more specifically) he did not back down and instead held her stare, face blank, eyes dimming down the worry he had been feeling. Because Sasuke Uchiha does not worry.

...Much, but still.

"Are," he cleared his throat, dug his hands deeper into his pockets and shifted his weight from one leg to the other, "I asked if you were alright..."

* * *

As discreetly as possible, the girl wiped the tears from her eyes. They hadn't fallen yet, but they were on the brink of making their appearance on Sad Girl's face. It was a ticklish feeling and, in the mirror, she could already tell that the redness around her eyes from holding back the tears was making a grand entrance.

"I'm fine." Sakura whispered as she turned on the faucet and splashed her face with the water that streamed out. Thankfully, she had decided to go with a natural look, so mascara residue and eyeliner didn't give her a wet raccoon appearance. "Why would you ask?"

To prove it, she turned around to give Sasuke her biggest, brightest smile.

Unfortunately, he reminded her of Sai.

She promptly burst into tears.

But, even as Sasuke gained that terrified look boys sometimes get around emotional girl that said _What in the name of Gouda cheese am I supposed to DO_, Sakura realized something.

Tears have meaning. They say sad, happy, joyful, woe be gone, and everything in between. They also are directed at someone or something that bring out a big emotional response.

Which was why Sakura happened upon a realization: She was over Sai. All the emotional overload was about the way she was confused about the truth. The way she didn't understand what had happened in that bathroom at Akatsuki. The way she didn't know Sai that well after all. Looking back, she could see all the signs that said he was covering something up.

And she had ignored it.

The feeling that she was finally understanding all of the turmoil that she had ignored enveloped her and slowed the tears.

Of course, that didn't mean she didn't need to talk to someone...

Who to talk to...

Her eyes settled on Sasuke, who looked startled at the slightly evil look that came over her face.

Slowly, she reached for the door, closed it, and locked it.

"Soooo... Sasuke..." Sakura all but purred.

Was it just her or did it look like he was praying?

* * *

Okay, if Sasuke had issues with girls and their emotions before - Sakura just reinforced those feelings with her utter bipolar tendencies. She _had _been nearly in tears. Those tears _were _ready to come out. They were _there_. But she just hid it all under a mask. It frightened him, and yes, it did occur to him that this was what he tended to do on a daily basis.

It was different being at the other end of the mask, though.

He stared at her, though. Never backing down, no matter how much the urge to just run and hide came to him. And even _that _would be futile because she locked the door behind him. So he continued to stare, tried not to look scared, and swallowed.

Sasuke leaned his back against the wall, allowing his bangs to shield and shadow his eyes. But even through his bangs he stared at her, his eyes lazily trailing down to her shoes, up her legs, up her torso, up her chest, up her neck and to her face. Sakura confused and annoyed him all in one, he decided.

She had this weird hostility towards him one second, the next, they were talking like normal people and after that, they ended up doing... things. Things that involved pressing against each other and kissing and--

--She was purring at him now.

Sasuke gulped invisibly.

"What is it?" he managed to murmur.

Please, someone, save him.

* * *

She hid a smirk at the obviously distressed look on his face. Prowling towards him, Sakura gave him a bright smile. "Well... Considering that your family is rather dysfunctional and, if your brother- who is pretty, _wow_- is anything like you, we'd do better staying in here.

"We can... _talk_."

Sasuke gulped almost inperceptively and Sakura's eyes zeroed in on the movement, her lips curving even more.

The game she had just discovered, _Make Sasuke Uncomfortable_, was _fun_.

She should challenge Naruto or Itachi some time to this game...

* * *

Okay.

Okay.

Steady, steady, calm down.

Bah, who was he kidding - her proximity to his person was making him feel utterly uncomfortable. And hot and bothered. Was it hot in the bathroom or was it just him? He should probably take his jacket off or something. Yeah.

Because it was the jacket's fault he was hot. Not Sakura.

Pffft, definitely not Sakura.

But he blinked. He was Sasuke and he would _never _admit that he was bothered or hot or uncomfortable, and playing it smooth and unaffected was totally his thing to do. So he stared at her, watching her lips curve into a smile; his eyes narrowed just the slightest.

"Talk about _what_?"

* * *

She prowled closer until she could softly- because she wasn't _hurting_ him- push him down until he was sitting on the floor. When he tried to stand again, Sakura plopped into his lap. Instantly, his hands steadied her around her waist and she let her head rest under his chin.

Softly, she whispered as innocently as she could, "I don't know...

"_Tell me about yourself."_

In the distant depths of her mind, she remembered all the... _fun_ at the water park and the skating rink, but she knew next to nothing about him.

Well, except that he was quite insistent on his sexual orientation.

But now that she could recall the amount of times they'd kissed, made out, hugged, held hands (in a manner of speaking)...

What did that make her?

* * *

He damned the impulsion of wrapping his arms around her waist. He hated it. Damned it. Abhorred it.

Sasuke was still slightly stiff, even after she placed herself on his lap, tucked her head under his chin, and then all he could smell was her. He was still stiff. And hot. And bothered. And what the fuck, this was his bathroom. If anything, he had always thought it'd be Itachi who'd do something like this. Not him.

_"Tell me about yourself."_

Well... what the hell did she want to know? She knew his name, and how he looked - wasn't that enough?

And then he thought about all the kissing they'd done. All the making out. All the hugging. All the hand-holding. And what the hell, when did he become so physical and so... so _this_? Sasuke blinked, unknowingly taking a deep breath and all he got was her scent and he went slightly dizzy.

"Hi... I'm Sasuke Uchiha. I was born on July 23rd. I'm nineteen. And I work at the mall."

He blinked, but totally disregarded the Alert going off in his head.

* * *

"Hi... I'm Sasuke Uchiha. I was born on July 23rd. I'm nineteen. And I work at the mall."

Sakura's voice mocked him even as she let her breaths caress his neck on every exhale. She fought the childish urge to giggle at how bothered he was getting by these simple actions.

"Well, _Uchiha_, I'm Sakura Haruno. I was born on March 28th. I'm eighteen. And I like hanging out with my friends at Akatsuki."

Tilting her head so that her hair brushed against his chin and completely focused his attention on her, she batted her eyelashes at him and snuggled into him like she was a fangirl or a cat.

Or a fangirl-cat.

"Oh! And I like spring and waterfalls and watching the stars come out at night and..."

Her smile widened.

"Let's play _Truth_."

His expression seemed to crash into the ground.

* * *

"Let's play _what_?"

Of course, he knew what Truth was. He'd seen idiots playing at it when he was still in high school - even at the Uni there were still people that played it. It was the most annoying game Sasuke had ever heard of - next to 20 Questions, Truth or Dare, 7 Minutes in Heaven and Would You Ever.

But for some reason... Sasuke didn't have the energy to decline or huff or anything - mostly, because he was at her mercy and she was on top of him and that smile... He glared at the bottom cabinets of the sink. He sighed and closed his eyes.

"And you play this _how_," he asked in a low drawl.

Not that he didn't know how to play it. But Sakura didn't need to know that.

* * *

Sakura gave a snort and, as fast as she could, pinched his hand.

"Ouch! What was that for?" She could tell that he was about to add 'bitch' to the end of the sentiment, but was pleased that he restrained himself. Else she would have had to punish him. In a way that he probably wouldn't appreciate.

"I don't believe you don't know how to play Truth, Sasu-cakes," she cooed as she delicately traced his carotid arterie with her fingernail. His pulse began to speed up as she enjoyed the... _power_ she had over him.

"Are you that... how should I say this... _stupid_?"

* * *

"_Don't _call me that."

He glared and pouted as she continued to do as she pleased with him. Honestly, what had become of him - he'd understand if The Dobe would allow all this to happen, he'd understand if The Mutt would allow this to happen. He'd understand even if The Hyuuga allowed this to happen. But he and Sharkbait were the hard ones.

And look at him now.

He hated life.

"And I'm not stupid either," he huffed, "So either you tell me how you play it, or we won't play it at all."

* * *

With her head under his chin, Sasuke couldn't see the devious expression that came over her face, complete with narrowed eyes.

He _knew how to play_.

She knew it just as well as she knew her name was Haruno Sakura and she also knew that he was stubborn.

But she was stubborn-er.

So with that thought in mind, Sakura abandoned the tracing of invisible lines on his neck to instead focus on forcing him out of his jacket. For a few seconds, he complained and played the part of reluctant "I am man hear me roar" guy, but he shed his jacket easily enough after he seemed to think that he fussed enough. Beneath his jacket, Sasuke wore a short sleeved black t-shirt that displayed his arms, to which Sakura had decided to pay special attention to. She lightly led her fingers around his arm, finding the places on his skin that she knew to be most sensitive. He trembled a bit, but his mouth stayed sealed.

Her fingers went up until they were making their way around his bicep.

She whispered in his ear, letting every exhale find his ear.

_"Sasuke..."_

Perhaps Rome was built in more than a day, but it would take her significantly less time to break Sasuke.

Sakura hadn't had so much fun in a while.

* * *

Sasuke had never been one to liking the idea of being touched. Not even by his family and/or friends. It was a bad-habit (you can say) he'd had since he was a child. It wasn't that he was afraid of germs or anything, it's just that it irked him. A lot.

When Sakura touched him... Sasuke found he was prone to lose control easier than losing his patience. But what he lost when Sakura touched him was his self control, he soon realized. Sakura... did some weird things to him that Sasuke was still not ready to admit.

So when she continued to ghost her fingers up and down his arms, and he continued to shiver, he thought he'd be able to handle it. But when she began to breathe his name out in his ear, allowing her breath to tickle his sensitive skin, he decided enough was enough.

"Fine," he spat out, his lips curling into a sneer. "Okay. We'll play it. No need for instructions or whatever."

He practically felt her smile against his skin.

* * *

"Fun..." The word rolled off her lips and she resituated herself so that she was comfortable in his lap.

Sakura lent back so that she could rest her head on Sasuke's shoulder and her face in the crook of his neck.

She gave a delicate exhale and was rewarded with a gulp.

"Since you were so... _cooperative_, you can go first."

* * *

He fought back the groan that was itching to escape - _why _did she have to move so much? Especially when she was _on his lap_?! Sasuke glared and decided that if anything, Itachi'd be laughing his ass off at his current predicament.

(In the dinning room, Itachi sneezed. Then went back to glaring at Tobi.)

Sasuke stiffened a bit. And then exhaled softly through his lips.

"Alright," he cleared his throat, "before - why were you about to cry? Did... Was it something I did?"

He glared at the sink again.

* * *

Sakura stiffened a bit before telling each muscle to relax separately.

It was strange. Everything he did screamed '_I don't give a flying fuck_' but his eyes said '_I'm really a teddy bear with a I Really Care shirt on deep inside me_'. She didn't understand Sasuke and she had a feeling that all she could do would be to scratch the surface. He was always so... cold and uncaring... It made it harder to trust him, but there was something about him that told her that he was more than his exterior.

"I... don't really know," she said slowly, looking at her fingers and examining the lines on her palm. "There are just some people that make you question yourself. How capable you are- who you are at the very basic of all things. You don't have to know them really well, but they make you feel weak. Insubstantial. Just a speck of dust flying in the wind. And I guess I was just taken by surprise. Because I didn't know the person who made me feel inconsequential at all. But I felt like I was three again and trying to show people that I could be more than a big forehead."

Maybe it sounded like a lie. Technically, she knew Sai. But she didn't _know_ him.

And to her, that made the biggest difference in the world.

Shaking off the heavy weight that threatened to bowl her over, Sakura shook her pink locks and gave Sasuke a curious smile. "So... what about you and Itachi? What's your relationship?"

* * *

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and sulked.

Seriously, he had a hunch that Sakura wasn't one of the many stupid girls that fell for his older brother - that she was merely ogling. But still, he hated the idea of her thinking about stupid Itachi. Because Itachi was... He was _Itachi_. What other explanation was there? Sakura was a level-headed, smart girl. She didn't seem to be the kind that went for good looks alone.

So he sighed and rubbed at his temple with one of his hands.

"Itachi's my idiotic older brother. He's my father's favorite, the _good _and _intelligent _one. The one that's my father's _pride_ and _joy_. He part owns Akatsuki. His friends are annoying as fuck. His best friend, other than those other goons, is my cousin, Shisu.i And Itachi's an ass. He believes he knows everything about me, uses a lot of things against me and is always set and ready to embarrass me." He rolled his eyes. Itachi in half of a nutshell. "But through it all, he's still my brother, I guess. We don't fight a lot - argue, maybe, but never fight. And there's a lot of blackmail involved between us... I suppose we're just like any other brothers."

And it was so weird how he spoke so much.

"Alright, you're issue with the need to keep poking at my sex-drive. What's up with that?"

* * *

She couldn't help but lick her lips.

"Ummm... Well..."

Sasuke was giving off the vibe she had gotten to know as "stop blathering and get to the point, woman".

"See, my last boyfriend cheated on me..."

Her voice faded, but Sasuke wasn't an empty-headed fool, so he completed her statement.

"... with a guy."

Nodding, Sakura continued, "So I've been kinda... _paranoid_, for lack of a better word, when it comes to guys. I've learned to put my gaydar on its highest sensitivity.

"You also have quite a number of stereotypical gay-guy attributes..."

* * *

Sasuke leaned back and glared at her.

"No, no I _don't_." He sneered at her, "I'm quiet by default and introversion is a family shit. Nothing else I do is even near insinuating I'm gay." He smirked and neared her, his lips brushing her cheek as he murmured something in her ear, "Besides, when I walk down the street, it's the girls I notice, not the guys. Just like I noticed _you _at Luffy's."

He felt triumph at her shiver. Oh yeahhhh.

"Oh, is that so? Well, how about the fact that--"

She was interrupted by his lips pressing against hers. And it was how almost instantly they began to kiss each other with a need that seemed almost ridiculous to them both. But it was amazing, he knew. His lips and her lips moving against each other, tongue action, nipping - everything.

Sasuke soon came to realize that kissing Sakura was a new addiction.

* * *

"You know," she said with the first breath that she could manage without his lips- which she _so_ wasn't thinking about-, "while that is a pleasant and fun way to get me to shut up, you're going to have to stop kiss-."

Sakura was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"We're busy in here," she yelled, cuffing Sasuke before he could say anything.

Sasuke.

Say something.

_Ha_.

"Normally, I would have to interrupt your heart to heart but...

"This is a bathroom. And it has its uses. One of which I need. "

Sasuke seemed to pale at the voice.

* * *

He glared and glared and glared and glared.

Sasuke hated life right now. So much. He tried to get Sakura off of him, but being the stubborn girl she was, it took a hard nudge to send her off him with a soft groan and a glare of her own. He stood up a second later, grabbing his discarded jacket and slipping it back on.

Life, you may proceed to suck on something and choke on it.

Because...

Mikoto? He could handle.

Fugaku? He could handle to an extent.

Shisui? He could handle.

He could even handle _Sai_.

But he could _not _handle his older brother on the other side of the door. Seriously.

"What do you want," Sasuke growled, the hairs at the nape of his neck prick up as soon as Sakura came to stand in back of him.

Sasuke hated Itachi at the moment.

What. A. Cockblock.

* * *

Itachi smirked as he heard the shuffling of _two_ pairs of feet. A mental tally of the people at the dinner table led him to a conclusion.

Or two.

Maybe even _three._

Sasuke was missing from the table.

And so was the pink-haired... _girl_ he had brought with him to dinner.

Now, _where could the girl reminiscent of cherry blossoms be if his brother was in the bathroom?_

"It's nothing, Sasuke," he drawled. "But it _just so happens_ that the room you are in serves a great purpose in the ways of mankind.

"It's okay, though. There's another bathroom downstairs."

Really, Itachi was just suspicious of what could happen in the amount of time it would take for his rather foolish little brother and his... _friend_ to pull themselves together. He had left Shisui and Tobi alone, for all intents and purposes. There was a lot of trouble those two could get into in five minutes, so it was best that he wasn't away for long. It wasn't his best friend that he was worried about. It was more about how she was so very weak when it came to Tobi. The boy could probably convince her to help him rob a toy store or a bank in ten seconds flat.

But he would be lying if he said that was all. He was also worried about his hand. It was slightly bloody from him digging his fingernails into his palm to keep himself from strangling his... _little_ cousin. Itachi would never say that he was jealous. No, he was merely concerned that Tobi would suffocate Shisui with his over-affectionate, frequent hugs.

Shaking his head before starting down the hall, Itachi spoke just loud enough that Sasuke and the girl could hear him if they strained their ears.

"Just don't forget to remember- condoms cost less than babies. And when you do things in the bathroom, look out for both the sink and the toilet.

"While the skull is rather hard, porcelain is even harder."

* * *

Sasuke was... _speechless_.

His ears were growing hot again. And red - whenever they grew hot, they were in the process of turning red as well. God, he hated being pale-skinned. Stupid skin.... No he was not flushing. What the hell. Seriously. Itachi was just an ass.

He cleared his throat, jaw clenching and twitching from the strain.

Sasuke hated older brothers.

"Stupid asshole," he growled, yanking the door open (after unlocking it) and stalking after said older brother. And this time, he _tried _to not look back and see if Sakura was following.

* * *

Sakura blinked.

Why was Sasuke going after him?

Like, really fast?

Did Sasuke have a problem?

Well, she wasn't going to follow him. Especially after such a... _helpful_ piece of advice from his older brother.

Nope.

Waiting for thirteen seconds for the footsteps to fade away, she slipped out, prayed the blush had disappeared, and went to rejoin everyone else at the dinner table.

If she had anything to say about it, she would never talk to Itachi or anyone in their family ever again.

And she had thought _Sasuke_ was weird.

Wow.

Well, now she knew where he got it from...

* * *

"You know, Sasuke," Itachi said smoothly as he descended the steps to use the bathroom, "I prefer using the bathroom by myself."

When his brother continued to follow him with heavy _angry_ footsteps, he added, "When I say that, I mean, _go back and continue macking your girlfriend_."

He didn't really know why he was still taunting Sasuke. Normally, he ignored his brother's love and social life- both of which he had assumed were nonexistent, therefore in no need of his attention- but there was something that made him want to make Sasuke snap.

Shisui, of course, had _nothing_ to do with that.

Really.

* * *

Sasuke wanted to lunge at the fuckin' idiot - possibly bash his skull against the wall and then kick him or something.

But his mother had visitors. So Mikoto would fuckin' _kill babies _if Sasuke and Itachi got in a fight. With company in the house.

So he just growled, glared and gave Itachi The Eye that clearly said _I'm watching you bitch, and I'm going to fuck you up when you least expect it._

With another growl, Sasuke stomped into the dinning room and took his seat.

_

* * *

_

Itachi quietly shut the door to the bathroom and leaned his head against the cool wood, eyes shut.

He was alone.

And so very confused.

Feelings had never been his strong point. He could do at least seventy-five pushups without stopping, losing his breath, or sweating. He could recite the Magna Carta from memory. He could remember what day and time he had filed a restraining order against his biochemistry teacher.

But he could never confront his emotions. Not when he had liked that pretty check-out girl from the 7/11 (he asked her if she had a blood pressure problem when she kept blushing around him). Not when Kisame had given him a goldfish for his birthday (the animal died from a frantic Itachi giving it food until it gorged itself to death). Not when Sasuke had been in terrible shape after his fishy friend Suigetsu's mother had died (he had given him money to go get his friend drunk out of his mind).

But there's a first time for everything.

So Shisui...

He liked her. A lot.

More than he liked Tobi, which, wasn't really remarkable considering how little he actually liked Tobi.

But, yeah, he liked her (a lot).

Which wasn't okay for many reasons. The least important of which was, of course, because they were _best friends_. It was against some code book: best friends were supposed to stay just that: best friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Always be there for your best friend, but you weren't supposed to want to be _right there_, kissing your best friend.

You weren't supposed to want to spend the rest of your life with them, sitting in rocking chairs side by side on your front porch, watching your grandchildren frolic (note: Uchihas do not frolic under any circumstance) while you hold hands.

You weren't supposed to want to give them a hug over every little thing, enjoying the warm sensations in your body and heart from the close proximity.

The most important reason: cousins don't love each other.

Correction: cousins don't love each other in a way other than platonically or familially.

_He shouldn't want to never let go of her_.

Which led Itachi to a very, very, _very_ important conclusion.

He was in love with Shisui.

So what to do?

While he felt lighter after giving up on denial, he still... wasn't ready. He would talk to her. Behave normally.

But he had no idea what to do _about his feelings_.

Usually, when he had a problem about emotions, he would find a roundabout way to get Shisui to help him figure it out.

Obviously, that wasn't an option here.

With that revelation (he _loved_ her) burning holes in his mind, Itachi strode out of the bathroom.

_What to do?_

* * *

Shisui watched Sakura walk in, all alone. She raised an eyebrow, and tilted her head at the seat beside her, and the rosette girl took it with a grateful nod. They two females blinked at each other, and chatted quietly for a moment or two - that quiet catching up between two once-almost-used-to-be-friends.

Poor Sakura, Shisui realized. She was dealing with Uchiha family insanity at it's very, very best (it was Jersey Shore material, sometimes, people. If slightly less trashy). Tobi was giggling like a school-girl on Shisui's other side. Shisui's parents, both her uncles, and her aunt were all in the kitchen, probably already half-way through several bottles of wine. Kisame was watching the entire exchange with an amused grin - and Sasori and Deidara were nowhere to be found (Shisui didn't even _want_ to know). Sai was sitting at the other end of the table, looking awkward.

Shisui honestly thought it couldn't get any worse.

And then Sasuke came in.

That was when Shisui decided it was time to excuse herself, and find Itachi. He'd probably gone and run off, or something and, like, seriously, that was just Not Cool. Ditching out on family dinners? Totally unfair.

And besides. This was way awkward. The Sasuke-Sakura-Sai trio was blinking at each other like they had never really had much contact, or like they had had a very, very uncomfortable history with each other.

Shisui had this horribly giggly feeling that it was the latter, not the former, and so she quietly excused herself, and slipped out into the hallway.

Where could he have gone?

Shisui paused, and considered. Itachi's bedroom was in the basement. Well. She could try that, although she had a feeling it would be pointless. When Itachi wanted to be found, he'd be found, not a second earlier. But Shisui figured she'd try it anyways. It couldn't hurt.

She walked down the dim hallway, and reached for the doorknow that opened the door that led to the basement. She slipped through said door, and started descending the stairs. And then she hit a rock-solid chest.

_Damn_ it.

* * *

When Itachi had come to that conclusion that he _loved_ Shisui in a Alice-and-Mad-Hatter, child-and-cookies, Zuko-and-Katara, Shawn-and-Jules way, he hadn't actually considered acting on his feelings. It made sense for all the reasons he'd thought of before in a hypothetical situation.

_(How could she do that to him?  
Make him fall to his knees?)_

But when someone came bowling into him, he instinctively held onto her tight. Itachi was rattled by the strong scent of pears and caramel and silk. It made him think of the times he and she-who-would-never-be-named spent plotting how to sneak dango out of the kitchen when they were children. They brought back memories of competitions over who could run a mile around the track faster in their adolescent years. He could remember spending hours at a time in his kitchen, eating his mother's special onigiri, and Shisui would laugh at his possessive behavior over-.

He had thought her name.

Part of him was fighting to hold on to her tighter while the other wanted to push her away.

_(She wasn't making this any easier for him_.)

* * *

Shisui blinked up at her older cousin. Itachi looked...

Well. He looked something like he did after the time she'd dared him to eat one of Chiyo-baa's (the old lady who lived next door) peppers. They were pretty much murder, and Itachi had choked. And right now, he basically looked the exact same as he had, then.

Shisui wasn't sure if it was funny, or what.

Actually, it was kind of worrisome, to be honest.

"Ita?"

* * *

Itachi couldn't help it.

He twitched.

While he'd always been a person with iron will, Shisui had always been the exception to any and all rules that pertained to him as well. Perhaps she didn't know it, but she didn't play fair. Therefore, Itachi concluded, it was her own damn fault for him being unable to fight the _need_ to pull her closer to him.

He couldn't help but look her deep in the eyes in an unblinking stare. Maybe the conflict and care in her eyes was a reflection of his own eyes.

* * *

Itachi was _staring_ at her. Shisui continued to blink at him.

Well.

_This_ was strange.

He normally would have let her go, by now. Shisui thought nothing of it. It was dark, and they were on stairs, and she was mentally supressing everything that had happened between them, so far, anyways. It was definitely better that way.

"Itachi? Hello? Are you alive, in there?" Shisui asked, even as she reached up, and tugged on the right side of his bangs; it was a habit she'd aquired after she'd realized he couldn't stand having his hair touched. Shisui had always liked that she'd been the only one to get away with it.

God, they had too much history.

* * *

For some reason, this reminded Itachi of something. Something that involved shrubbery and close encounters (of a terrestrial sort, not anything _extra_) and hidden and heated moments...

But he was distracted by someone giving strands of hair a sharp tug. It was never okay, but there was one person who persisted in doing it because Itachi never did anything more than narrow his eyes or grumble at her for it.

"Shisui," he growled.

* * *

"Yes, Ita-chi?"Shisui dragged his name out, nails against chalkboard. She knew that growl - it was the I'm-Not-Happy-Let-Go-Of-My-Hair-You-Cretin growl.

And it didn't stop her from giving his stupid bangs another short, sharp tug.

Nor did it stop her from starting to giggle.

Oh dear.

* * *

"That is my hair you're pulling on. I'm not about to get in a cat fight with you.

"Because you will not win."

Itachi was satisfied to see her eyes fire up.

* * *

Shisui scrunched her nose up. "Won't win, will I?"

Pffft, what did he know?

Clearly, very little. Shisui didn't like losing - never had, never would. That's why she was such a runner; running was easy. Legs long, summer wind, setting sun; those things, Shisui knew. Running was easy. And you couldn't lose.

Shisui tugged on his hair again, and said "Ita, you should know by now. I _always_ win."

* * *

She needed to stop calling him that.

It made his heart race, the skin on his arm crawl, and his eyes sharpen.

She just... _needed to stop talking_.

You know what they sometimes say about mouth-to-mouth contact?

It's the most pleasant method of getting someone to shut up.

But it also does very little for two hearts in pain.

* * *

Why didn't he ever say anything? Silly. He was so silly.

Shisui had always hated being ignored.

And she knew that he knew that. So she very, very gently tugged on his hair (_pay attention to me, stupid_-), yet again, and murmured "Ita, what's wrong? You're just... really out of it-"

"_Hn_," he grunted, his lips pulling up in an almost sneer. The look in his eyes was... there was conflict, and confusion, and part of Shisui was hissing in caustic, venomous delight, because maybe, _maybe_ he was finally getting it, even just a little.

"You," she muttered," are so_ ridiculous_..."

He'd kissed her, last time.

Now, it was her turn. She tugged his hair again, and forced his head down. Shisui stood up on her very, very tiptoes, and -careful, careful-, sealed her lips to his.

Oh yeah. She was definitely going to hell, for this.

* * *

She stole his breath and his heart in one simple motion.

He'd never been able to deny Shisui anything- not lollypops or driving her around the one week where he had his license and she was waiting to get hers or the first place in a race (okay, so maybe he had denied her _that_. He had his pride, dammit!).

He wouldn't start now.

So Itachi kissed back and gave all of himself into that one kiss.

Even if he didn't understand what, exactly, he was giving and receiving.

* * *

Itachi had Shisui backed up against the stairwell wall. Shisui's arms had snaked themselves around him, even as her fingers curled themselves into the soft dark fabric of the back of his shirt. Everything was blurry and dark, and the only thing that registered in Shisui's brain was the fact that he was kissing back, _he was kissing back, **he was kissing back**_.

**_He wasn't supposed to be kissing her back_**.

He was supposed to- supposed to- _not_ kiss her back! He was supposed to do something that was Itachi-ish and normal and _not kiss her back because that wasn't fair_!

Shisui pushed him away, the thoughts in her head whirling.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

And then she was gone.

* * *

Itachi tried to catch his breath as he leaned against the wall.

It was becoming some kind of _thing_ with them- one kisses the other (the Thing Behind The Shrubbery Incident, for example), then the one who initiates runs like hell for the exits.

He knew where Shisui would go; he could catch up with her easily.

But maybe they both needed it. She had let him go sort himself out, after all...

He would return the favor _(was it really a favor?)._

If only he could convince his legs to stop twitching to go after her...

* * *

.

* * *

Sai studied his nails.

Well.

_This_ was awkward, wasn't it? He stared at Sakura, across the table. It really was too bad he just wasn't into girls _like that_, Sai thought. Sakura was, really, very pretty. She had chatted amiably with Shisui-nee for a bit, and then, when his older sister had left, sat there, very tall and proud.

Sai looked at her for another minutes.

Maybe he should try to make amends.

"You know, Sakura darling, your taste in men really hasn't improved at all."

Open mouth, insert foot.

* * *

Manners are very important. There are things like holding doors open for people, saying "please" and "thank you", and wearing a napkin.

Then there are things like respect your host and, while, Sai didn't _live_ in this house, he was a close relative to the people who did.

So Sakura decided to stick with being polite.

"I'm sorry," she said coolly, her glare sharp. "Want to compare notes? You seem to have a successful method."

* * *

There was one thing that annoyed Sasuke, more than anything else that annoyed him.

And that was sitting next to Tobi. Or, in this case, having Tobi flail to the empty seat next to his, and generally threw himself on Sasuke. He didn't want anyone to get him him wrong; Sasuke cared for his wild and weird family, but Tobi was all things annoying. Like right now. Sasuke was being _hugged_.

Since when did Sasuke look like the type to like being hugged?

He growled, "Tobi. Get off Sasuke."

"But Tobi's a good boy! And Sasu-chan looks all _lonely_!"

"No," Sasuke hissed through his teeth, "Tobi is _not _a good boy. Tobi's an _annoying _boy. So leave _Sasuke _alone. _Then_ you'll be a good boy." Looking around the table he noticed that Shisui and Itachi were gone, as were the adults... and Itachi's blond and red-headed friend.

...And that Sai was talking to Sakura.

Sasuke grew ten times more irritated at that. Not that he would ever admit such thing.

* * *

Tobi looked at his youngest cousin, and pouted like a child. "Sasu-chan, you aren't being fair to Tobi-chan! TOBI-CHAN LOVES SASU-CHAN!"

A muscle twitched in Sasuke's jaw, and his voice was slightly strained as he said "Go love _Sasuke_ somewhere _else_, then. Shoo."

Tobi admired the twitch for a long, long moment. Now, the question was - how to make Sasu-chan even _more_ angry? (If there was one reason Tobi loved family reunions, it was because he got to do things like make Sasu-chan's life miserable. Oh, and tease Itachi and Shi-chan! Because that was always fun, _always_!)

Tobi pouted some more. "Sasu-chan, hush up and let Tobi-chan do what Tobi-chan _wants_! Or else Tobi-chan will tell Aunti 'Koto about the time that Sasu-chan smashed Tobi'chan's face in the sand-box!"

* * *

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and a small smirk came to his lips at the memory. Tobi and Sai annoyed the hell out of him when they were younger, pushing them into the mall or stuffing their faces into the sand-box was one of his favorite pastimes - not even when Tobi would snitch on him or Sai would pull a revenge move on him. He always got them back. Who's to say Sasuke was always being grounded... Bah. Good times.

"If Tobi does that," he said in a tight drawl, "Sasuke'll tell Uncle Madara what _really _happened to his leather pants."

"Pffffft. Maddy-chan already knows what really happened to the leather pants. And he wouldn't believe Sasu-chan, anyways."

If Tobi did the whole evil laugh and evil smirk thing, he'd be doing it right now. Sasuke only glared at the disturbing guy and tried to push him off his person. "Listen, Tobi, if you don't leave Sasuke alone, Sasuke is going to shove his foot up Tobi's ass. Just get off me, and _go_ _away_."

...He didn't mean for the idiot to actually listen and go glomp Sakura in her seat.

Sasuke growled lowly.

* * *

Tobi threw his arms around the pink-girl sitting where Shi-chan had been, before. He shot a child's glare at both Sai (who looked like he was about to say something scathing in the pink-girl's direction), and at stupid, mean Sasu-chan (who looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. What an icky sight).

"YEAH, WELL, SAKURA-CHAN LOVES TOBI-CHAN MOAAAAR THEN SHE LOVES SASU-CHAN. AND SHE WILL PROTECT TOBI-CHAN FROM EVIL MEANIE SASU-CHAN."

The twitch grew more pronounced. "Tobi, get your _ass_ over here. _Now_."

Tobi was satisfied to see something like rage flickering in Sasuke's face. Well, well, well, both of his adorable little cousins had fallen in love! IT WAS ABOUT TIME. (Seriously. Tobi was getting worried that Auntie 'Koto was never going to get the grandchildren she wanted, and that was just _not fair_!)

The child-man did something like a spasm-flail, and hid behind Sakura. "NO. SASU-CHAN IS MEAN AND SAKURA-CHAN IS NIIIIICE! AND TOBI-CHAN IS GOING TO STAY WITH SAKURA-CHAN _BECAUSE SHE'S NICE_ UNLIKE _STUPID MEANIE FACES LIKE SASU-CHAN_!"

* * *

Sasuke smacked a hand to his forehead, letting the hand slide down his face. He let a low exhale of utter annoyance as he continued to glare daggers at Tobi. Honestly, when he gets the chance, he is _so _killing him. Because, like, seriously, Tobi was _out to annoy _Sasuke to death.

And at the moment, it was working like a charm.

"Tobi, shut the fuck up and come sit your ass back here next to Sasuke." Tobi shook his head and continued to nuzzle against Sakura's arm. Sasuke's left eyebrow twitched. "Dammit, Tobi, get the fuck off her. She doesn't want your stupid hugs!"

That caused Tobi to stop his head shaking and his nuzzling and look down at Sakura and blink. "But," he started in a pathetic-wimpy tone, "Doesn't Sakura-chan... _love _Tobi-chan?"

"Sakura-chan doesn't _know _Tobi-chan," Sakura said with a little-lot of awkwardness in her voice.

Sasuke couldn't help but _smirk_.

* * *

Tobi just half-shrugged, his arms still wrapped around Sakura. "That's okay. Sakura-chan can get to _know_ Tobi-chan, and then Sakura-chan and Tobi-chan will be friends forever!"

He grinned down at the pink-haired girl in his arms, rather happily. In return, Sakura gve him a weak and/or slightly-scared sort of grin. Tobi squealed like a school girl, hugged her tightly, and began to recite exactly what Sasuke was like, as a child.

Sai could only look on in slightly disgusted, magnimonious disbelief.

* * *

It got to the point where Sasuke could not take it anymore. Seriously, he _hated _it when people were all up on his women... Wait.... Wait... Not that Sakura was his woman or anything. She was _his _guest, though, and therefore qualified. He hated that. Hated it.

Tobi could not be murdered here and now, for there were too many witnesses. But the day wpuld come. Oh _fuck _yes, it _would_ come.

So until then, Sasuke was going to play it cool - do something that does not involve strangling Tobi, or a knife, or his foot. So he stood up from his seat, rounded the table until he was in back of Tobi and Sakura - and _wrenched _Tobi off of her before pulling her up and leading her away.

"Let's get the hell out of here," he muttered, "before I kill someone."

He led her up the stairs, down to the room on the very end of the left corridor. He opened the door, nudged Sakura inside and then closed the door behind him.

His room was his favorite room in the whole house. It was neat (with the occasional article of clothing laying around), his bed was... usually always made and his precious gaming platforms were.

Almost instantly, he felt the raw need to smack Tobi dwindle. Okay. Things were getting better.

* * *

Tobi, still sitting at the table, started to giggle.

Sai tried his very, very hardest not to vomit.

* * *

Sakura blinked as Sasuke practically picked her up, and carried her out of the dining room, a vein twitching in his neck.

Well. _That_ had been somewhat awkward. The interior of Sasuke's room was almost a perfect reflection of his personality. The walls were a pale gray (what _was_ it with boys and such boring, neutral colours?), his bed was neatly made - navy sheets, and generally, the room was kept clean. A good third of the room was taken up by electrical paraphenilia, and in another corner sat a guitar and an amp.

Sakura tried not to swoon at that last bit.

She stood just inside of the door way, and fidgeted, a little bit uncomrfortable. She looked at Sasuke.

The only thing that came to mind were the words "Your family is _incredibly_ bizarre, I hope you know."

She paused for a second, still slightly distracted by the guitar. "And nice guitar."

* * *

Sasuke peered at her through his bangs, a dry smirk on his lips. "I know - they're all annoying."

He walked towards his bed, waving a hand in the air as a sign for Sakura to do whatever it is girls do in rooms. He leaned his back and the back of his head on the headboard, his eyes scanning Sakura through his bangs.

She was still standing a bit awkwardly by the door, looking around with mild curiosity. Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Rooms don't bite, Sakura."

"I _know _that," she glared and stomped towards his bed, taking a seat on the corner-edge of it, "just shut up."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and stood up, taking off his jacket and hanging it on the back of his deskchair. He turned around, back towards Sakura and smirked when he caught her staring at him. And his blood boiling again because of Stupid Tobi and Stupid Sai, he marched towards her and stopped once he was right in front of her.

Sakura looked up at him with a questioning look - it was probably wiped off when he kissed her.

* * *

Sakura "eep"-ed.

Which then turned into a hum of pleasure.

Which then turned into her pulling him down on top of her. Sakura felt daring, but it was so nice to feel his breathing speed up, and the way he practically growled against her lips had Sakura shivering in delight. She sighed softly against his mouth, and curled her fists into the fabric of his shirt.

And then the door opened, and a voice filtered into both their ears.

It was Mikoto.

Sakura gasped, pulled away from Sasuke, and they both looked at the woman. She was standing there, hands over her heart, stars in her eyes, tears of joy running down her face. Apparently, wine had a negative effect on the Uchiha matriach; it made her more squealy then usual. "Oh, Sasu-chan! I _am_ going to have grandbabies! OH, THANK YOU KAMI-SAMA. MARRY HER, SASU-CHAN, MARRY HERRR!"

Both Sasuke and Sakura mentally vowed to never speak of this experience ever again.

* * *

.

* * *

Running.

She was good at that.

Running.

Shisui was a runner. It was what she did best. Even in heels, Shisui knew how to run; how to escape a situation that threatened to overwhelm her.

She was running again, now, to get the hell away from Itachi and her family and just _everything_. Because there was nothing that Shisui hated quite so much as when there was a miscalculation; especially like the one that that whole kiss fiasco had been.

_He wasn't supposed to have kissed her back_.

The calming runner's mantra in her head was absent, for once (stupidstupidstupidstupid- that was what was running through her head. Shisui didn't think it was possible for one person to be so freakin' stupid, but, apparently, it was entirely possible. _Damn_ it).

Shisui wasn't even sure of where she was going.

She just knew that she needed to get away, and somehow get rid of all the pent-up energy and all the emotions that were humming beneath her skin.

And the best place to do that was at Kurenai's dance studio. Maybe she could dance it out of her body - Kurenai was an old friend of Shisui's mother's (and Shisui looked more like her then anyone else - sometimes Shisui wondered...). It would work. Everything would be cool. And maybe Shisui could figure out just what the hell was going on.

Or maybe it would just make things worse.

Shisui somehow doubted it, though.

* * *

Whenever she was teaching the little snot-nosers, Ino's usually bright, soft, glowing blue eyes would turn as hard as steel and as dark as cerulean. She stood in front of her class, watching with eyes of a hawk as the snot-nosers practiced their pirouettes.

She liked children, really she did - like, hello, she was _Ino_. Ino loved everyone, unless they managed to piss her off. But... try teaching a class of nine-year old little frufrus that gushed over little fart-knockers and, all in all, _not _listen to her. HA. They had another thing coming when they were being instructed by Ino! With a hard, loud, anger-induced yell, she'd make them all yelp and obey even the most ludicrous command.

Yeah, Ino had the power.

She grinned --

--And then it was wiped off her face when the door to her dance room was opened. She turned around and caught sight of a pretty-pretty-pretty girl with curly ebony-black hair falling down behind her back and these cerulean eyes that made Ino jealous. She was gorgeous.

The girl-woman looked around and shot her an apologetic smile. "Sorry," she breathed out.

But Ino paid no heed to it. She'd caught the look of sorrow cross the girl-woman's face. Instantly, Ino wished she could help. She turned to the little snot-nosers, holding a finger up at the girl-woman as a sign for her to wait.

"Alright, listen up, maggots, "Ino declared, "Go off to Ami's dance room and tell her I sent you." She stared at the little snot-nosers and narrowed her eyes when they stared back, "_NAOW."_

And they were out of her sight.

She turned back to the girl-woman, who'd move out of the little snot-nosers' way. Ino's look changed completely from I'MMUNA EAT CHOO to OH-EMM-EFF-GEE WHAT IS WRONG, DO I NEED A BAT?!

"Is everything alright?" she asked lightly to the girl-woman, "I carry a bat in the trunk of my car. I can go get it so we can get the bastard like some sort of pinata."

* * *

Shisui stared at the pretty blonde girl - she was dressed like one of Kurenai's dance teachers, and the older woman was nowhere to be found.

So Shisui smiled a little tiredly, and said "Boy trouble, I guess."

The girl gave her a very serious look. "Those things are useless. Except for, like, being pretty. Come and talk to me."

Shisui shrugged. "I just need to vent it out, I guess."

The blonde girl nodded towards the window seat, tossed her hair, and said "I am Guru Ino! And I _will_ make your life better! Because I am gorgeous and intelligent, and making people feel better is what I excell at. Who are you?"

A snort past Shisui's lips. "I'm Shisui. And I may just possibly be in love with the most unattainable man on the planet."

Ino gave her a blank stare. "No man is unattainable, please."

Shisui sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair. She opened her mouth, and began to try to explain. "Well, this one... he might actually be untouchable, and there's - nothing I can do about it..."

* * *

Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa**: i really like Shisui, not gonna lie. but Karin is me. she's just me. and, DUDE, ANKO-CHAN. FER SERIOUSLY. this probs makes no sense. =D  
**les**: i actually have nothing witty to say. wtf is _wrong _with me.  
**sonya**:I'M SORRY FOR MY COMPUTER & MY PARENTS ADDING A 3-10 PM LOCKDOWN ON MY COMPUTER. but the next chapter WILL be out next friday.


	17. how to confess to Mufasa's murder

well hello there fellow inhabitants of this grimy world. do you how do? THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS.  
**dedication: **to music, soda, breaks and sara's scary peacocks.  
**disclaimer: **yeah, and at night i turn into a pretty ballerina.

**A NOTE FROM SARAA. PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEE**: A) we're perfectly within our rights to update whenever we want, so stop bitching. B) i went to mexico (and sonya and les were sad without me. this made me feel loved). and C) all three of us have lives. we DO actually do things other then fanfiction. SO STOP BITCHING. **please**.

**A NOTE FROM LES. BOW DOWN BEFORE I BRING IN MY BUNNIES: **alright. look. i like to think of the three of us as laid back chicks. and we definitely are. we have conversations about emoticons, okay? and we are all for the "everyone has their own opinion, and therefore we respect each other and the world is a bit nicer". we are. and we grasp your opinions the first time you say them to us. _so don't repeat them_. don't tell us something we have no care about - because we respect your opinions, does not mean we have a care for them. the pairings are what they are. its final. it's finite. esta terminado. stop. whining.

i love you all.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Sakura couldn't even see her hands in front of her face.

It wasn't like she wasn't _trying_. Hell, she'd tried looking at them up close, but every time, she misjudged the distance and ended up hitting herself in the face.

But it was time to stop trying to do that because she could hear a few maniacal giggles and murmurs of things like,_ "I'll get you, my pretty- and your little pretty boy too,"_ (which, bee-tee-dubs, was scary as fuck) that were barely over a whisper. Sakura was pretty sure she would be dead meat if _she_ could hear Sakura almost-slapping herself. So she curled her fingers around the trigger of her gun as she hugged the barrel to her chest.

Creeping away from the mats, Sakura quietly Army-Crawled herself towards the closest passage away from the scary voice. Once she was around the corner, she started running, not caring that her feet were pounding the ground and drawing the girl with the scary powers and voice towards her. There was a reason she had been on varsity high school track in eighth grade- she could run like the wind she wanted to. As soon as she felt she had gotten enough distance, she slowed down and began sneaking again.

Except...

The point of sneaking is to get around people.

Not bump into them.

Sakura wished she could see whoever owned that rock-hard chest.

Except if it was the Crazy-Bitch's partner.

Then she wanted to tear her mind out for thinking about _him_ that way.

That social _loser._

* * *

Sasuke was walking slowly, ever so damn slowly; one step at a time, so soft that you'd think he was actually floating in the air. The gun was positioned at the ready, pointer finger of his right hand on the trigger. Some of his stupid bangs were in his face, and, contrary to popular belief, they made it even _harder _to see. Especially in the dark.

He licked his bottom lip, eyes focused on his surroundings. Just _why _the hell did he agree to accompany the Hyuuga and his Psycho-Friend to this? Gah, the messes he ended up getting himself into...

He froze just as soon as he heard the steps coming towards him, and fast. His eyes zeroed in on the spot where the person was going to appear. And he waited, frozen still.

And then the person bumped into him.

Sasuke shot out his arm to grab onto the person before they fell. Just as soon as the deed was done, he let his arm fall back to his side. His eyes narrowed as he tried to make out who was in front of him.

He readied his gun, just in case it was Hyuuga - and most definitely got ready if it was his Psycho-Friend.

"Who are you?" And he pointed the gun at the unknown-person.

* * *

"It's Sak, you nitwit," she hissed, dragging him down to the ground. "You'll bring Tenten to us and then we're all dead. I mean, she's so trigger happy... I heard Neji-san complaining that they were on the same team and '_why in the name of all the kami'_ is she shooting him when they're on the same team. Apparently it's happened at least thirteen times. So if we want any chance of beating them, we'll have to listen for them nattering at each other again. So shut your mouth and let's be_ sneaky_. Listen for Tenten giggling and mumbling to herself about how she wants the gun the police confiscated from her back."

It wasn't until she finished talking that she realized that she could see Sasuke now in detail- spiky hair that looked like something seen in a chicken coop and thin lips that she remembered weren't exactly novices at kissing. All of this detail wasn't because of an increasing amount of light, unfortunately.

Actually, it was more because her nose was nearly touching his. She could see little sparks of red in his eyes that had, at first, seemed to be pure black.

She could feel his breath on her lips. It smelled like Stride gum, fresh and spearmint-y. Shivering as she could feel the heat from his breath mingling with the freezing sensation of gum, her eyes darkened slightly.

Holy frackin' shit.

"Then again, if you don't want to be quiet, I'm sure I could make you shut up." She bit her lower lip and looked at him sideways.

* * *

Sasuke barely caught what she said, he was too busy feeling awkward and uncomfortable at her very close proximity to his person. And her eyes were this fricken bright green that, if any brighter, could be used as flashlights to navigate themselves. And... they were so pretty... And green... And just... so very pretty.

She was so goddamn annoying.

He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing at the motion as his brow furrowed.

His eyes darted to her lips, and then back to her eyes. Part of him... oh, God. Part of him wanted to kiss her... those lips... she was so damn... fucka--

That part of him was promptly bitch-slapped by another part of him that demanded they stay cool, calm and collected like they always were. And then the first part got really angry and started ranting about going with what the heart wants and... it became an all out brawl and...

"How about _I _show you how to shut up," he found himself muttering.

Now Sasuke was left with no guidance. He was hesitant and he wanted her away from him because she was annoying and--

Next thing he knew his face neared hers. And their lips touched.

* * *

First, his eyes had gone, like, _fire-hot_. It was like passion wrapped up in a firestorm.

Then they looked kind of indecisive for a few seconds before he closed the gap and there was no space between them.

...

There was not really anymore thinking after that.

* * *

The kiss in itself was... it was...

What was it?

Just as soon as their lips touched, their guns were discarded, thrown aside as she crawled into the space in between his legs. Their breathing went hard, the kiss going rough with biting and sucking and... Fuck, it was a nice kiss.

His back and the back of his head were leaning against the... wall-thing that was behind him, his hands finding the sides of her face before they slid down to her waist. The kiss never broke, not as she snaked her arms around his neck, not as he switched them around so that he was on top.

Gnawing.

Sucking.

Licking.

Teeth.

Tongue.

...And was that a softsoftsoft barely-audible moan?

God, Sasuke felt intoxicated with... with this... kiss.

And then there was the sound of footsteps coming closer towards them.

Sasuke broke away from the kiss, breathing hard, yet quietly, through his parted lips as he tried to make out where the footsteps were going to come from.

"Shit," he muttered, grabbing his gun and standing back up - and (reluctantly) bringing a dazed Sakura up with him.

* * *

Her ears were ringing from the mind-blowing-ness of the make out session Sasuke had started, but Sakura could still hear people coming their way.

...

Was that giggling she heard?

Eyes growing wide, she seized Sasuke's hand that didn't have a gun in it and dragged him away. "It's Tenten. We've gotta relocate STAT."

"What about Hyuuga?"

"He can't be as scary as Tenten with a gun."

Maybe Sakura couldn't see him, but she could tell that he had cocked an eyebrow. "The little girl with the ponytail. Scarier than Hyuuga, who is almost six foot. What do they serve at your high school's cafeteria?"

"Tenten wants to be a freaking _assassin_ when she grows up. She's been studying weapons with this one instructor. Once, I watched her practice and she shot a hole in a flipped coin _dead center_ from around the corner _of the coin_. Giving her a gun is like giving that hyperactive blonde guy who my friend Hinata is seeing a weapon. You might as well stand in front of a car moving at one hundred twenty miles per hour. _That's_ how scary Tenten is."

She let go once he started tugging _her_ along.

"If she's like that, let's _get the fuck away from her_."

* * *

Holy fucking shit, that girl must be the personification of the apocalypse.

Sasuke did _not _want to meet her any more than he had to. Fuck, she must be one Psycho - with a capital P. Seriously. _What _kind of _masochist _was Hyuuga for hanging around with _her_?

Jeez.

He instinctively froze when he heard another set of footsteps - fuck, one from behind and one from up front. Sasuke looked around where he and Sakura stood; his eyes had gotten used to the dark already and from what he could see... there was a small spot where the walls did a turn that fit for... one of them.

Well, fuck.

He pulled her towards the spot just as soon as the footsteps got too close to them. He threw himself down, back pressed against the wall. He bit back a grunt just as soon as Sakura fell on his lap.

But he had no time to request her to get off of him.

Hyuuga and his Psycho-Friend where standing exactly where they had stood not even a second ago.

"Don't even breathe," he whispered into Sakura's ear.

* * *

It was stupid advice and Sakura wanted to tell him so.

If she didn't breathe, she was going to suffocate. If she suffocated, she was going to be dead. If she was dead, she was going to make sure to come back to this world and _haunt his pretty ass until he_- well, until she felt like it, to be sure.

But then Tenten snuck past them, not bothering to look in the nook.

Sakura was just about to let go a sigh of relief...

...when Tenten jumped back.

Had she found them?!

...

"HYUUGA, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE. WE'VE GOTTA REGROUP," Tenten whisper-yelled.

...

Apparently not.

* * *

Sasuke let a soft sigh of relief escape him.

The Psycho one missed them.

His eyes narrowed as he watched them walk away. And then he froze as Sakura shifted around, still on top of him. He growled low in his throat, "Alright, you're going to have to get off if you keep moving like that."

"I-I...I... What?!"

"HEAR THAT?! YOU _IDIOT_! HYUUGA HOW COULD YOU HAVE MISSED THEM!"

"Me?! What about _you_?!"

"AH, SHUT UP AND LET'S GO BACK, IDIOT!"

Sasuke's eyes widened, just a bit. "Holy fuck, that crazy harpy's coming after us. Get off, Sakura, we got to get the fuck out of here."

But he didn't have to tell her twice before she was off, he was up and they were running away for their life. Hand in hand. For some reason this made him twitch.

"Where's your gun?"

If possible, he watched her eyes widen. "Oops."

"'Oops'? Fuck."

And then he heard the snickers that made him shiver and he began to sprint as fast as he fucking could, Sakura right next to him. They were going to die. Oh, god, they were going to die.

Screw the laser-tag - Psycho-Girl was crazy as fuck!

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _and then we'll do it doggy style._

YOU.

I want to go laser tagging. And so do you.

Let's go.

Now.

And bring the Non-Sparkling Vampire with you.

Fosho.

-Machete

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _you and me, baby._

Let's go laser tagging.

Okay? Okay.

I'll go pick you up in twenty.

Later,  
Tenten

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
Subject: _Do I want to know?_

I have kendo.

...

I don't have a choice, do I?

Fine, I'll bring the Uchiha.

-Mastermind

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _It *is* just you & me, right?_

Fine.  
But what would you have done if I'd told you I was busy with a cute guy?

Cha!  
Sakura

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _It's a song, Your Highness._

Nope, you don't.

I'm glad we share this connection, person.

PICK ME UP.

KTHXZBAI.

-Machete

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Of course, sweetheart._

I would have told you to ditch him.

Chicks before dicks. Or however those lame things go.

So yeah.

Be ready.

BAI.

-Tenten

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Sakura kept her breathing relaxed as she headed for another safe area that she had hidden in earlier. It was small and they would be cramped, but as long as it kept them away from Tenten in her element, she didn't really care.

She wondered for a while why Sasuke had been so snappy, but it wasn't really the time to ask questions.

"Oi. Under the mats. And leave some room for me."

Sliding in next to him, their arms were stuck next to each other as they tried their best to fit. Sasuke moved his gun so that it was in front of his face. Glad to see the trigger facing out while remaining under the cover of the hideout, Sakura tried to ignore how warm he was and stayed completely still.

Pounding footsteps were coming their way.

Her heartbeat picked up.

* * *

He bit his lip as he watched with a calculated stare. They would be passing by soon - and knowing these two, that bickered more than The Dobe and him, they'd stop right about....

"Ugh! HYUUGA!"

...Now.

There went the girl - but she was facing sideways, therefore not having any of her targets at view. He crawled out of his and Sakura's hideout - he raised a hand at Sakura's protesting movements. He crawled and crawled and then he silently stood, eyes never breaking away from the duo.

Neji, from what Sasuke could see, was running a hand through his hair. Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he pointed his laser-gun at Hyuuga's target, the one right on his chest.

And he shot.

_"Team Alpha: One point - Team Beta: Zero."_

"WHAT?! HE SHOOTS!"

And the rest happened in slow motion, really, it did.

Before Sasuke had the chance to move out of the way, Tenten twirled around - her lethal ballerina style - laser-gun already pointing and shooting at her "enemy".

And she got him... on the same target he had gotten Neji on.

_"Team Alpha: One point - Team Beta: One Point."_

Before anything else could be done, and before Tenten could search for Sakura, the lights were switched on.

* * *

.

.

.

.

* * *

"Neji, you suck."

Tenten pointed her barded comment at him as she sucked furiously on her soda. Sakura just rolled her eyes. Tenten and her "slave" argued too much about the silliest things. Neji's remarks seemed to anger her friend as she took everything he said as sexist.

"It was your fault," Neji sulked. "You were the one yelling at me and distracted me so that Sasuke could hit me. I bet Sasuke and I could beat you and Sakura."

A high shriek erupted from Tenten's mouth. Grabbing Sakura's hand, she started dragging her away toward the entrance.

"I hope you're ready to _die_, you _idiot_!"

* * *

"That stupid prick! I swear when I beat him in this round he won't even know what hit him!"

Tenten was sulking as she stomped away, dragging Sakura along with her. God he was such a jerk! Seriously! He was the one that was just walking around he had to _look_ for Sasuke and Sakura and did he _look_? Tenten thinks not! Seriously!

"Can you believe him, Saku? I mean, seriously! He's such a jerk. I hate him. I hate him so much!"

With her free hand, Sakura scratched at her temple. "Okay..."

One thing was for sure, Tenten was going to unleash hell on Neji. And Sasuke?

Sasuke was just the Hyuuga's accomplice - he was going down too.

* * *

Sasuke watched them go, lazily sipping at his soft-drink.

"Lovely, you set her loose," he drawled. He turned his eyes towards the silent Hyuuga and raised a brow. "It's one thing if you have a death wish, Hyuuga - but fuck, putting me up to it too? That chick's _crazy_."

"Don't remind me."

And now, Sasuke was actually fearing for his life.

* * *

"So Non-Sparkly-Vampire-Boy- what can you tell me about him?" Tenten's eyes narrowed onto Sakura as they huddled by the entrance, the green light giving her a slight demonic-like aura.

"He only does things when blackmailed. He hates rainbows and people accusing him of being gay. He doesn't like talk-." The Bunned One With _Powers_ waved her hand in Sakura's face, impatient.

"Nononono. I meant- his skills."

"Well, he's really good at kiss-."

"NO. His skills in this game. You were on his team."

"Oh."

Sakura scratched her chin and thought.

* * *

"So this is what we do," Neji said to Sasuke, voice in total business tone.

Sasuke leaned against the wall, the sole of his left converses planted on it, knee bent, arms crossed in front of his chest. He stared at where Neji stood, not really able to see him thanks to the darkness. He sighed and let the Hyuuga go on about plans and whatever.

And then he began to walk to the right when Hyuuga said left.

"What are you doing," Neji hissed.

"Going right."

"I said _left_."

"Exactly."

Neji was able to hear the smirk on that one. He glared, "Stop fucking around, Uchiha."

"I'm not. I'm just following my instincts."

"We have a _plan_."

Sasuke smirked again, "I wasn't listening."

He felt complete and utter satisfaction at Hyuuga's murderous aura.

* * *

"Maybe your instinct can't read a map."

Despite the fact that their chance of winning was even less than it had been when they had started, Neji couldn't help but feel smug. After all, the Know-It-All-And-A-Little-Bit-More Uchiha was completely lost.

They'd been wandering in the maze for the past half hour, it seemed, and they had not come anywhere near two crazy girls.

But, see, Neji didn't have ninja powers. He couldn't see and think to himself at the exact same time, and, since Sasuke was ignoring him...

They got separated.

He cursed his luck even more when he remembered how he had forced Sasuke to hold the guns because of his seniority.

Damn Uchiha.

* * *

Sasuke continued to walk, intentions focusing on proving that damn Hyuuga wrong. Who the hell did he think he was, trying to seem superior? Tch, as if. Who ever said Sasuke was one to following orders?

"Let's go this way, Hyuuga."

He began to walk...

...And heard no one else with him.

"Hyuuga."

No reply.

"Hyuuga."

Still no reply.

"Fucking Hyuuga." What a complete idiot.

* * *

Fucking Uchiha. What had he been thinking, wandering around in here and leaving him behind? Now they would-.

Wait.

Was that a malicious giggle? Followed by croonings over guns?

It was time to pray, Neji thought, dropping down into the prayer position that Uncle Hiashi had taught him for meditation.

...

Shit.

He didn't remember any prayers.

Scrambling up, he decided that the best course of action would be to go _away_ from Miss Apocalypse-Please.

Yes, that sounded like a good plan.

With that, he set off at a stealthy jog.

* * *

Tenten smirked as she followed Neji without a problem.

What she didn't let others know: she had a pretty good sight in the dark.

She twirled and skipped, living up to her Lethal Ballerina style, hummed and giggled. And damn did she really want that gun the police confiscated from her. But that could wait. An idea popped into her head.

Stopping her twirling and skipping, she jogged fast enough to catch up to Neji. Once she did, she jogged next to him in a teasing manner until he felt her presence at her side. He turned to look at her and that's when she slammed him against a wall; oh, how she liked the advantage she had.

"Helloooo, Ex-Partner," she murmured, lips moving against his neck as she spoke, hands still holding on to his shoulders. And how she loved flustering Hyuuga.

* * *

Neji knew that voice [unfortunately].

It was the one that kept him awake at night and, on the occasions when he fell asleep, he woke up in a cold sweat.

Scary bitch.

Black fingernails dug into his shoulders, keeping him in place.

But he was just _frozen_.

Scary bitch from hell.

...

Then why did she make him feel tingly? Neji resolved to find the answer to this question.

* * *

She twirled a lock of his hair around her finger, eyes staring with mucho amusement as his jaw clenched.

"Now, now, no need to go all stiff. I'm not gonna do anything to you... yet." She giggled, removing her hands from his shoulders and pressing one of her hips on his thigh to keep him in place. "So how are you this fine afternoon?"

Neji remained unresponsive.

"Hmm, not the talkative type when caught?" She grinned, "Where's ya gun, Hyuuga?"

Still no response.

"Really. So you're choosing to ignore me." Tenten pouted and shook her head, bangs whipping back and forth on her forehead. "You know I don't like that."

She pulled at his hair softly, head tilted to the side. Even through the darkness she could see his silver-white eyes narrowing, jaw clenching all the more. Ah, how amused she was. She went up on her tippy toes, hands going back up to his shoulders and she smirked.

"Maybe this will get ya to talk." Her smirk widened as she neared his face, stopped for a second, move closer the next, stopped another second, move closer one more time, and then she stopped when her lips were a centimeter away from his. "Huh, interesting," she whispered.

* * *

Neji had been holding his breath for the past minute and forty-seven seconds.

It was moments like these that he had to admit that he wasn't some powerful, all-knowing deity because, hi?

What god would _not_ be able to hold their breath for at least five minutes straight without becoming dizzy?

Anyway.

This whole charade of pretending that he wasn't affected was going to end soon. The second his nose had picked up her scent- a mix of jasmine and tangerines- he stopped breathing. He could feel his lungs fighting like birds trapped in a cage to take in air, but he could not lose control.

No matter how tempting her scent was.

Because a ring meant a promise.

And not just because it had been called a promise ring.

Because it was a promise to _God_.

Psh, the Jonas Brothers had nothing on _him_.

He smirked.

...

Which probably was a bad move.

* * *

At his smirk, she raised perfectly thin eyebrow and narrowed her eyes. Okay, it was one thing to ignore her while she was talking, but ignore her ministrations while she was trying to... do her job and tease him - that was not good. Not good at all.

Oh, and she so knew he was off in his own world. How Tenten knew this? She's in his personal space. Her lips are centimeters away from his. He's a virgin - he's all into the don't-touch-me-thing. WHY would he be smirking at that?

Exactly.

Tenten growled.

And then...

...Then she smashed her lips against his in a very territorially harsh kiss. She stuck her tongue out, licking his bottom lip with the tip of it; and inner Tenten was cackling in amusement. Her grip on his shoulders tightened, her knees pressing on his thighs so he wouldn't move.

Oh, she was going to teach him. She was going to _teach him_.

Her kiss turned soft. Then went harsh again.

* * *

Neji was scared to death.

That's all he could think was that Tenten was sexually assaulting him.

Because it was beyond harassment now.

Therefore, he refused to like it and go along with it.

* * *

Tenten didn't like Neji.

Not like that.

Bah, she barely liked him as a friend. Or an acquantince. But she did love teasing him, and making him feel uncomfortable. Oh, she loved that. That's why she was doing this; she wouldn't do this because she wanted to but... rather, did it because. Just because.

No. She didn't like it.

She pulled away, lower lip caught in between her teeth. And there was an evil gleam in her brown eyes.

"I suggest you _don't _ignore me, Princess," she hissed as she pulled him away from the wall. "Take me to your non-sparkling-vampire-partner. Now."

* * *

Neji had never really liked the Uchiha, so he didn't really feel like defending him. It wasn't like he would ever know that this girl who was batshit crazy compared him to sparkly, nonexistant vampires, after all.

But he kind of _liked_ living, so he sighed and led the way silently, listening for the Uchiha's quiet-as-death breathing.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Sasuke was dead-quiet as he walked, slow, slow, slowslow. Right after left, left after right. Bah, he barely breathed; he was scary good on these things. Days upon nights upon days of playing Resident Evil got him to be veryvery precautious. Che.

He'll admit something to himself and only himself: he was fucking scared of Hyuuga's Psycho-Crazy friend.

But Sasuke tried to ignore the fear and continued to walk around aimlessly (if you want to count hiding from the Psycho-Bitch an aim, so be it). His black eyes darted from left to right to front as he checked for any shifting within the shadows. It was almost like a horror movie - which amused Sasuke.

The only upside of the horror movie: Psycho-Bitch probably got Hyuuga. And therefore was away from Sasuke.

At this, Sasuke smirked.

* * *

Sakura was stalking Sasu-cakes.

Not in the way the paparazzi do to famous people.

More like the Mafia people, trained to take out their targets.

Smirking at the rouse she and Tenten had pulled, she decided that following him around was getting boring.

So it was time to end the game.

She sped up and silently came behind Sasuke, placing her guns right between his shoulder blades.

Fighting the urge to giggle, she mumbled like Tenten at her craziest, "_I've got you, my pretty._"

* * *

Sasuke instantly froze in his place, body going stiff and eyes staring at that black speck in front of him.

Holy shit. He was a goner. And he never got the chance to smack the Dobe upside his head. Never got the chance to get the Mutt to pay back on that Bacardi-bottle he let him borrow. Never got Sharkbait to squirm around at his driving one more time.

Oh god.

This was scary.

Sasuke gulped quietly.

And turned to look at the... Crazy-Bitch over his shoulder.

And was that...red...? No..Wait...

He blinked.

* * *

She couldn't help it.

Sakura giggled.

"Tag, you're it."

* * *

Sasuke cleared his throat and tried to calm his nerves down because it wasn't the Psycho-Bitch.

It was just the girl who got emotional with public bathrooms.

The annoying one.

"You shouldn't talk like that," he said slowly, "makes you sound creepy as fuck."

"That's the point, stupid."

At that distraction, Sasuke turned his heels towards her, took a hold of either of her wrists and backed her up against the wall, pinning her hands up and making sure she couldn't reach his targets. He smirked at her gaping face. She was far too annoying to lose to. Seriously.

"Huh."

* * *

"LEMME GO, BUB," she shrieked, trusting that Tenten had already taken care of The Social Loser.

And it wasn't like the boys had _guns_.

So she did her best to pummel the guy who was still smirking at her as he had her against the wall.

That realization hit her in the head. Sakura struggled even more, flailing with the guns every which way.

Sasuke was, like, _sexually harassing her._

* * *

"Would you shut up, that crazy friend of yours can hear you." He hissed through his teeth as he glared at her.

From what he could see of her face, he could see she was pouting and glaring right back at him. "That's the point, doofus!"

"Shhh."

"No! Lemme go. Now!" She blinked and began to thrash around in his hold. "RAPE. RAPE. RAPE. RAPE. RAPE. RAPE."

Sasuke began to grow more than irritated at her annoyingly loud voice. Like, seriously. As if he'd ever want to rape her. "Sakura, shut up."

"RAPE. RAPE. RAPE. RAPE. RA--"

He was just trying to shut her up. Really. Because he got seriously irritated and annoyed and tired and she was being so damn loud. So he wanted to shut her up by any means possible.

That's why he kissed her a second time that day.

At least that's what he tried to tell himself. Because, like, it was the _truth_. Righht.

* * *

How many times had this happen? Sakura had stopped trying to count.

It did make her forget Sai, so she supposed it was okay that there wasn't really anything between her and Sasuke.

She ignored the voices- one that reminded that there was nothing _yet_ and the other that said _yourejustusinghimyousluthe'sthereboundboy._

So she shut her voice and lost herself in the kiss.

* * *

Sasuke's had five months of experience at kissing. It's how he was so good at it; lip sucking, teeth nibbling, tongue squirming. Sasuke knew how to do it all; its just that he never showed these skills to anyone.

Anyone other than Sakura. Coz she was annoying. Seriously.

After those five months were over, Sasuke decided that dating really wasn't his thing; he just continued to check girls out in silence (like Konan and Hana and Yuugao and damn were they hothothot) but... Dating was not his thing. Not his thing at all. And... Come Sakura. His need to just refuel his... It was complicated. Sasuke didn't understand it at all.

Which is why she was so damn fucking annoying and he disliked her and why must he meet her more than he actually wanted? Couldn't she, like, go away or something?

But ranting wasn't going to help him out at all. So he ignored his brain and concentrated on the kiss.

How Sakura's lips moved against his. How her breathing sort of escalated when his tongue ran against her lower lip. How she sighed when he nibbled on her lower lip.

And he ignored that weird feeling he was beginning to feel. He pushed that one right next to the Sakura Is Annoying Make Her Go Away By Being An Ass feeling.

* * *

They separated and Sakura tried to catch her breath, but every time she looked into his eyes...

...she lost it again.

She tried remembering what had happened before kiss no. 198, but came up with blanks. Looking down at her hands, she saw two guns. Her eyes widened and she looked up to find...

* * *

Sasuke would have liked to keep that kiss going and going and going. He'll reluctantly admit that.

But a stronger side of him preferred survival. And he was _damn straight _proud of it.

So he sprinted away from her. Turned, ran, turned, ran, turned, slammed his right shoulder against the wall, and ran some more.

Where's that fucking Hyuuga?!

And...why did he want to go back and just...Sasuke shook his head and continued to run.

* * *

Giving a frustrated signal, Sakura dashed after him, following the thumps as someone kept running into the mats and cursing at the pain.

She was going to kill that guy for messing with her head and _kissing_ her as a distraction.

Did he just not have a sensitive bone in his body? Because, at this rate, he would not have even a bone.

_Period._

_

* * *

_And then Sasuke stopped to catch his breath. He hasn't ran that fast since he scored the winning touchdown of his high school's football team.

And that's when he heard someone come to a stop behind him.

Sasuke froze and turned to stare at her.

Oh fuck.

* * *

Hissing in frustration and at the cramp in her side, Sakura braced her hand against it. It was a little painful to stand, but she managed to stand to her full height as she shakily held one gun right in front of her.

She ignored how she was still shorter than him.

Sakura took care to breath out more than she breathed in and relaxing slowly as the pain gradually disappeared.

The annoyingly _pretty_ boy wasn't moving- was he even _breathing_?- so she smiled savagely at him. She probably looked almost like Dog Boy, the way she bared all of her teeth at him, but she didn't really care because she _really_ wanted to hurt this guy for making her run enough to get a cramp.

"Any last words, _asshole_?"

* * *

Sasuke blinked and stared at her hand holding on to her side. Was it him or was this _too _much like a movie; this was like in those cliche movies in which the girl, all battered up and wounded was going to unleash her revenge on the big bad guy, a gun at hand and pointing at said big bad guy and the other hand clutching her big wound on her side. Sakura even said the right words to wrap it all up.

This was why Sasuke was bitter with life.

It was completely stupid.

"Yes," he said in a deadpan voice. "I killed Mufasa."

Through the darkness, Sasuke saw her tilt her head to the side and remained quiet for at least five minutes. "Are you serious or am I supposed to be laughing."

"It wasn't meant to be funny." He said, tone unchanging. "Do I look like someone to give out jokes?"

Sasuke went stiff as she neared him, the hand holding the gun raising up towards his head. "Good because that." She hit him. "Was." And she hit him again. "Not." And again. "Funny."

He winced and pulled away a hand shooting up to cradle the tender spot where the crazy girl hit him. "That hurt, you crazy person."

"I mean, in all seriousness. That was the most saddest part of ANY Disney movie. I still cry every time."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Okay."

She flashed him a glare and Sasuke ignored it, choosing instead to lean against the wall, arms crossed in front of his chest and the sole of his right converse resting on the wall. "My cousin - _guy _cousin- gets emotional about it all the time."

* * *

"... Not to sound like I think all gay people are like that- because they aren't- but is he gay?"

Sasuke made a choking noise that sounded like he was disagreeing with her, but she waved his hand at him in an effort to tell him to stop making those noises and choke to death after she said what she had to say.

"Like, Kurt."

Sasuke managed to stop the choking noises long enough to rasp, "What kind of name is _Kurt_?"

Menacingly approaching him, Sakura hit him with the gun again, but he managed to grab the end.

Trying to tug it away from him, she hissed, "Like, from _Glee_. The cool gay guy who can sing, has awesome fashion sense, and can play football? I'm not stereotyping, but I'm pretty sure you think I do considering how often I ask if you're gay, but I only ask because you seem rather _interested_ in males than females."

She gave the gun another hard yank, but he pulled at the exact same time even stronger. She squeaked as she tumbled into his arms, keeping a grip on the trigger end.

* * *

He stared down at her, face void of any emotion, still gripping on the gun.

"Just because I'm not constantly asking you out on dates or asking for your number," his voice was quiet, not giving off exactly what he was feeling, "or claiming you look 'hot' or whatever doesn't mean I'm gay. It means I have better things to do than pick up girls."

Sasuke leaned his face down towards her, eyes locking on hers as he stared at her, face blank as ever. This girl annoyed him sometimes; seriously, what was he supposed to do for her to stop asking if he was gay? Say 'damn, girl, let me hit that one time'? Or what?

He was not one to do that.

At all.

"So for the last time," he hissed, "Sakura. I'm not gay."

* * *

Sakura's heart stuttered to a near-stop at the close proximity. His face wasn't as close to hers as it had been many times before, but she could only thank Buddha that it was too dark to see how red her face was.

But she wasn't going to let him win.

"Ummm, I didn't ask if you were gay for the nth time.

"I asked whether it was Sai or Tobi that cried during the Mufasa death scene, not you."

* * *

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I know that's what you were asking. And it was Sai, for the record. Although the only reason Tobi didn't cry was because he thought Mufasa was just playing dead..." He thought about it, eyes shooting up in a typical thinking pose. Sasuke decided that Sai was just a big idiot - that's why when they were younger, Sasuke'd push him down on the sand or the mud because the big softie always cried. And that's why when Sasuke had been seven and Sai had been six, Sasuke told him that if he didn't hand over all his tomatoes to him, the boogy man was going to come after him. Sasuke remembered Shisui telling Itachi that Sai didn't sleep for weeks.

A smirk came to his lips at the memory. "No, wait. Yeah, he is. Little fag."

And hell yeah, did he ignore the image of Sai and that unknown-guy in the public bathroom at the park. Because then he'd just gauge his eyes out, slit his wrists and just... die. Because that was the most horrifying scene he ever witnessed.

Sasuke shuddered.

* * *

"Well, now that we've cleared up you and your cousin's sexual orientation..." Sakura tried to squirm her way out of his embrace, but his arms tightened around her as his smirk returned. "Would you just let me go now?!"

"What if I like this position?" he drawled, tracing an invisible line up her neck with the very _tip_ of his nose.

She blushed as she tried to repress a shiver. "Well, _if you don't let me go_, I'm going to shoot you!" Struggling to bring the gun up, she gave a wail as his arms acted like iron bands around her, keeping her arms by her side.

Maybe this was wrong, she thought as heat from Sasuke burrowed its way into her veins. Maybe this wasn't the right way to get over Sai. Okay, so Sai wasn't the right guy for her. She got that! But these feelings that Sasuke stirred in her... How could she be sure that she wasn't just reacting to him because he was _like_ Sai in so many ways yet so very different? Sakura didn't want to be like one of those girls who rebounded into some guy's arms, got close to him, and then let him down because it was just the need to _have someone_ that made her react to him.

But the heat was just so _intoxicating_ like strong liquor and a warm bed...

Should she give in?

* * *

He chuckled lowly, deep at the back of his throat.

"Shoot me," he asked in a drawl, "Really."

Sakura pouted and furrowed her brow. "Yeah, shoot you! Lemme go, Sasuke."

Sasuke smirked against her neck, eyes closed. He pulled back, but never undid his arms from caging her against him. Their faces were centimeters away from each other - kinda like some hours ago when they had been on the same team. He had a brow raised, smirk on his lips and a glint in his eyes.

And he continued to just stare at her, "Is that what you really want?"

"No." At that he smirked; but Sakura widened her eyes and stammered. "I-I-I... I mean yes. Uh. Wait. I....FUCK."

Sasuke smirked.

How interestingly annoying.

* * *

She needed to get her brain to start functioning...

But the way she could feel his lips curling against the sensitive skin of her neck...!

She remembered playing laser tag...

And Sasuke was the target!

Her mind flashed, the images a little haphazard- fuck, this was an uncomfortably comfortable situation.

She couldn't do much, Sakura thought annoyed, because he was holding her captive in his grip _hotterthanthesun_.

Her one option?

_Surprise him into letting her go_.

What to do, what to do, the girl wondered absentmindedly. She couldn't really feel Sasuke around her anymore, so caught up she was in her thoughts. Thankfully she didn't let go of the guns...

There was one thing she could do.

Quietly, she dropped the guns beside her so her hands were free...

... grasped Sasuke's chin from where its place near her neck...

... and dragged his head up so his lips could meet hers.

* * *

_That _caught him completely off guard. Well... he _was _on-guard but a completely different reason; the last thing he thought this weird girl would do was kiss him.

Which was what she was doing.

Sasuke went stiff, his lips frozen in place as hers moved against them. His eyes were snapped open, slightly wider than their usual size and oh fucking hell. Sasuke didn't know what to do because part of him was urging him on to kiss her and maybe feel her up while the other part of him bitch slapped said side and told him to be the gentleman Uchihas were and push her back respectfully.

But Sasuke was a different kind of Uchiha. He wasn't a complete gentleman nor was he a molester; he was Sasuke and Sasuke did things his own way.

So he kissed her back. The kiss turning hungrier just as soon as his lips moved against hers.

And the rest was history.

* * *

_Hello, you have reached the head of Sakura Haruno! She's kinda occupied with an appointment with Sasuke's lips and tongue at the moment, so her brain's not really functional right now. Please leave a message after the beep._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_**DING**_

* * *

Sasuke has never been the type to get distracted easily; he was actually excellent at multitasking and anything related to that. But fuck if Sakura made him completely lose track of what he's doing.

In the few times that he had spent with her, those blind-meetings that have happened between them and those... kisses they'd stolen from each other, Sakura had been able to make Sasuke not question a lot of things; like, why she was so bipolar and why the hell did he actually put up with it while they were together. And she actually made him... wonder how her lips felt against his (softsoftsoft) or if he--

His eyes snapped open and his lips pulled away from the kiss.

_Team Muffinhumpers: 0 points - Team Hoopla: 1 point_

And she made him let his guard down.

* * *

Even through kiss-bruised lips, Sakura managed a smirk as she had the gun still pointing at him. The triggers were still compressed and her hands were shaking, but she fel_t __victorious_and_brilliant_and_sexy..._

They were all things that she hadn't felt in a while and it made her wonder...

Maybe this wasn't just a rebound.

"Gotcha."

_(In more ways than one.)_

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Tenten froze and blinked her eyes.

_Team Muffinhumpers: 0 points - Team Hoopla: 1 point_

A huge grin appeared on her lips and she turned towards Neji who was stiff, frozen in place and silver-white eyes wide. She brought up her laser guns and the grin turned into a triumphant smirk. "Oh fuck this," she drawled.

And then she shot the guns on each of Neji's targets

_Team Muffinhumpers: 0 points - Team Hoopla: 4 points_

Tenten cackled.

* * *

Neji was confused about something.

How did _Sakura_- because Tenten shot him after someone got the Uchiha- shoot his partner? After all, he'd given his gun to Sasuke...

And he knew that, like himself, Sasuke would never give the guns to either of the girls...

But since Tenten had _two_ guns...

Neji's head hurt now.

What the _fuck_ had gone down?!

* * *

Tenten was too busy doing the tootsee-roll and chanting "we won, we won, we won" to really notice Neji trying really hard for an epiphany to come to him.

Like, seriously. She just proved Neji wrong because, hi, hello, she and Sakura _won _and he and Sasuke _lost _and "IN YOUR FACE HYUUGA. HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES!"

And then she froze.

"Oh crap my pants are falling!" She dropped the laser guns to the ground and pulled her flared skinnies back up to her hips, a small blush on her tanned cheeks. "I _knew _I shoulda worn my belt but nooo..." She blinked and turned back to Neji who was still trying to figure something out. "WE WON. FUCK YEAH. YOU LOSER - NEXT TIME YOU TRY TO HAND YOUR GUN TO YOUR PARTNER MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T HAVE A PONYTAIL, SIR DOOFUS!" As she said this she lightly pulled at her ponytail and rolled her eyes.

Neji's face cleared up as it all added up in his head.

"Yeah, yeah, save your crying for later, sugar-plum."

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

At the stupid machine-voice-thing announcing that Sakura's team earned three more points... and Sakura only shot him once, Sasuke decided that something was wrong.

Because Sakura had two guns. Which meant Tenten wasn't supposed to have any but here we are now in the aftermath of the game in which Tenten and Sakura won and Neji and Sasuke lost and Sasuke was kind of confused... What happened?

His brows furrowed and he grunted.

God, he hated stupid games like these.

* * *

That confused, frustrated face of Sasuke's was adorable, but Sakura didn't really know how to explain it. It might have had something to do with how he wrinkled his forehead and pursed his lips in thought.

"You know..."

She let her voice trail off as she kissed him swiftly on the forehead and began walking towards where she could hear Tenten yelling at Neji.

"You should be careful in the dark. Look closely at who you give things to."

With a wink, she disappeared around the corner.

* * *

And Sasuke blinked yet again as he felt her lips touch his forehead.

Dumbfounded, he watched her turn the corner and it was only a second later that he stood up and walked after her. Her words played through his mind like a broken tape recorder and it wasn't until the tenth round that he understood what she meant.

Sasuke fumed and stopped walking.

"Dammit, Hyuuga."

* * *

Sakura hadn't walked away completely. For a few seconds, she stayed just around the corner ahead of the Pretty Boy Who Was Slightly Blind And Was An At-Least-Okay At Kissing so that she could hear his reaction to her words.

"Dammit, Hyuuga."

Smirking, she ran silently toward Tenten and her loud voice and Neji.

Honestly, Neji and Tenten's relationship confused her. Tenten was so abusive to Neji and Neji was kinda like Sasuke but more... socially stupid.

She shrugged, deciding that almost everything that concerned Tenten gave her headaches, so she'd just ask Tenten about it later.

...

Or not, because Tenten wasn't exactly the type for relationships...

So, when she bounded into the small area where Tenten and Neji were occupying, where they were basically forehead to forehead. Neji was just blinking, as if he had no idea what was going on. Tenten, on the other hand, had a devious grin on.

When Sakura came close enough, she heard the brunette say, "So are you nervous yet, Neji-_kun_?"

* * *

Tenten hated being ignored. It was one of the easiest way to make her snap. But, surprisingly, when it came to Neji ignoring her, she didn't snap in pure unadulterated anger like she normally did. Instead, she'd snap by making him feel completely uncomfortable.

And that was very easy to do.

She was smirking, her fingers tugging on the collard of his shirt. And like before, she had him against the wall. He hasn't caught on, she noticed, on what was going on by the simple way he blinked at her; normally, he would already be red in the face or... all those other things he does when he's flustered.

Tenten looked up at him through her lashes, inwardly thanking Anko for the tips, and smirked like the true vixen she was.

"So, Neji-_kun_, are you gonna continue to ignore me... or should I make you more nervous?"

She raised an eyebrow and watched him blink again... And was that... Oh, he was flustered again - he was practically sweating under the pressure. It made Tenten feel proud of herself.

"Is that a yes... or a no?" She tilted her head, stared at him and sucked on her lip-ring as she waited for him to fricken _speak_.

* * *

Needless to say, Neji was _very_ happy when Sakura came in and asked, "Can we go get ice cream?"

It sufficiently distracted the maniacal girl from him.

Now, all he had to give her was his money, not so much his attention.

* * *

Tenten turned to glare at Sakura.

Glare, glare, glare, _GLARE. GOD SAKURA SUCKED. SUCKED. SHE WAS SUCH A COCK-BLOCKER. BREAKING HER IMAGINARY BALLS._

_You suck major ones, Sakura and you **will **pay. _That's what her eyes told the pink-haired short-stuff as she continued to look at her.

"Sure," she spat out through her teeth, her glare never ceasing, "I _love _ice-cream."

* * *

Sasuke appeared in back of Sakura, his hands shoved into his pockets and a bored look on his face. He turned to glare at Neji for a quick second - _this was **your **fault, Hyuuga_, it said - before returning to the blank-bored look he had by default.

"What," he asked - his way of asking what they were going to do now.

Surprisingly, Psycho-Bitch picked up on it. "We're going for ice-cream, Sasuke."

He nodded his head at her.

"I don't like sweets."

The two girls just stared.

* * *

Sakura wasn't that surprised.

After all, he didn't seem to have a sweet blood vessel in his body.

But apparently Tenten was about to have a coronary based on the shocked look on her face...

* * *

Tenten blinked. And blinked. And blinked again.

He didn't like sweets? What...? What kind of monster was he?! WAS HE REALLY A NONSPARKLING VAMPIRE?! REALLY?!

Her mouth opened and then closed. This happened three times before she was able to speak, "...Are you human? Are you?"

She began to poke him and poke him around, his arms, his chest, his stomach his cheeks. Her brow was furrowed as she continued to poke around, asking him if he was human or some sort of monster.

"Dude, I can't believe you don't like _ice-cream._"

* * *

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Sasuke, at least come with, 'kay?"

Nudging him in the leg with her knee, she whispered in his ear, "You can get some water or coffee or something if you come willingly. If Tenten forces you...

"She will do _anything_ to force ice cream down your throat."

* * *

Sasuke did not like the sound of something being shoved down his throat without his consent. Scratch that, he didn't like anything being shoved down his throat PERIOD.

So he just gave a quick curt nod and restuffed his hands inside his skinnies' pockets - after he had grabbed Tenten's poking hands and muttered a "would you stop that" Saying that he was relieved that she didn't go apeshit on him was an understatement. Like, seriously.

He sighed and glared at Neji before returning his attention to the two girls. "Can we go now?"

* * *

Why was the Uchiha glaring at _him_? That guy had no idea what it was like being bound to this... strange, hyperactive, bipolar girl all the time.

He had no idea what it was like, cowering in wait of the _apocalypse_.

Foolish mortal...

* * *

Tenten... Was plotting, to say the least.

She was planning on a good way to make Sakura pay for disrupting her Make Neji Feel Flustered time. Seriously. Those were precious times that Tenten held dear. Besides, Neji was a complete ass and she wanted to smack him so much. Like, seriously.

....How can she leave (along with the idiot) and leave Sakura with the Non-Sparkling Vampire That Hates Sweets.

Huh.

* * *

She really didn't like that look on her friend's face. It reminded her of Ino, Hinata, and Karin- that contemplative quality that ended in Sakura being left alone with The Guy.

No, not The Guy...

Just That Guy.

The one that she always ended up arguing with and in really _nice_ situations, really, that were awkward when they were no longer private.

"Let's go get ice cream. _Now_," Sakura suggested quickly before dragging Sasuke behind her.

* * *

No, that was _not _a growl that escaped him once Sakura grasped his arm and dragged him in back of her.

There was a deep frown on his lips as her grip only tightened as he tried in vain to get loose. Seriously, this girl had an iron-grip. Quite literally. Sighing, he dropped his hand back to his side and decided that he was bound to be dragged for forever, as dramatic as that sounded. But still. His arm was hurting and it was probably red.

And then an idea struck him...

...With his loose hand, he grabbed her wrist, yanked her grip off of him and then... And then...

...He slid her fingers in between his.

* * *

It made her lose her breath.

This little alarm that rang _clicheclichecliche_ went unheeded as she wondered what it meant.

Sasuke went from being rather scathing to her (Maybe it was at least a _little_ her fault for baiting him all of the time or questioning whether he was gay) to being kinda in lust with her or something to being rather sweet.

He confused her.

She was also perplexed as to why there was a small smile on her face.

* * *

It was stupid.

It was annoying.

It was ridiculous.

Actually, he had no idea why he had done it - it was out of impulse and those two other voices in his head kept fighting so he was left with no guidance. Again. So he just went with it and now here he was, holding Sakura's hand. And she was smiling.

It was ludicrous.

But that didn't keep him from giving a small hybrid of a smirk-smile.

* * *

Why was that fool smiling?

_THE APOCALYPSE WAS FUCKING NEIGH._

Neji was rather distraught and woebegone.

* * *

Tenten had a crooked grin on her lips as she watched Sakura and Sasuke holding hands.

The sadistic side within her was rumbling. Oh, it's okay, it's okay. They were still going to end up alone... Right after you get that milkshake. And ice-cream. She turned to look at Neji - might as well continue with her Make Neji Flustered time.

"How come you never hold my hand like that," she demanded, feigning the deprived-housewife scene, "I swear. This can never work if you don't put your part, Neji! I cannot believe you. I swear. I want a divorce. First, you suck in bed, second you're not compassionate and you _don't _hold my hand! Honestly, there is no hope for you."

It took all her willpower to not laugh right then and there.

* * *

Neji never thought he'd be a martyr. It wasn't like he was the type to lay down and let people run all over him. There had never been any _signs_ that that would be his fate. But now that it had shown itself, he accepted it. Fate and destiny were final. No mortal could change it simply because they didn't like it.

What he did not accept, after all, was the taunting and innuendos thrown at him.

Didn't martyrs deserve some kind of respect or something?

* * *

Sighing, Tenten slumped her shoulders.

"It was a joke," she bit out, glaring at him with all the vehemence that she was known for. "You can't even take that. God, I can't believe this."

She shook her head and looked forwards. Tenten liked to think of herself as laid back. She was _laid back_. Seriously. But... god, she couldn't even be that around this guy because... god, just _look_ at him; he's always so uptight, so stiff, so... so everything she's not and she hates it. She hates that about him and she hated _him_.

Tenten disliked him... so damn much.

"I hate you," she muttered to him before walking ahead.

* * *

She wasn't looking at him when his face broke slightly with surprised pain, but he quickly covered it up with his usual robotic indifference.

What is pain, Neji wondered philosophically as he followed the biggest contradiction and source of confusion he knew walk away from him with his eyes.

He answered himself. Pain is acceptance. It's accepting that something you've slowly come to have a feeling for without knowing it is walking away. It's accepting that it will never be yours, will never _accept_ being part of you.

Emotional pain is dull. It isn't sharp, like a knife getting stabbed through your heart. It is dull like rubbing your knees against carpet until there is a throbbing pain in your legs and walking hurts and you can't walk away anymore because it hurts _so damn much_.

He'd been rubbing his knees on sandpaper- harsher than carpet- and he'd been runningrunning_running_ until he couldn't breath and his legs hurt too much. His knees weren't just skinned- they were bruised from hitting this invisible wall. His legs wouldn't move and trying to move forward and ignoring what was inside... It was more than he could deal with.

Neji turned around and faced her back- watched brown hair that meant more to him than just earth-colored strands of keratin because none of it made sense. His metaphorical heart hurt- that pink, anatomically-incorrect mass of pixels that was everywhere on February 14th- and he didn't _understand_.

But that didn't mean he couldn't _try_.

So, with one foot put in front of the other, he made his way after Tenten, a few steps behind her.

After all, if he was just a couple steps behind her, he could always catch her if she fell.

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**sonya**: my brother's a bitch. srsly. love you all & sorry for that long break. it's the middle of spring break right now...  
**les**:WHERE'S MY ANGELLLLLLLL. Neji and Tenten break my heart. Idiot One and Idiot Two. Le sighhhh.  
**Saraa**: i said my piece at the start. if you didn't read it, GO BACK AND READ IT, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.


	18. how to be set up to be knocked down

hayy girl hayy. hi. so. yeah. hi. thanks for the reviews!  
**dedication: **to lady gaga. and candy. and wearing the pants in a relationship. fosho.  
**disclaimer: **we own nothing but a muffin. and Snapple Spines. and Muse-ic. And the colorful store-place. yeah. (**Saraa's insert**: IT'S CALLED BENNY LAVA'S HOBBY SHOP. GET IT RIGHT.) (**LES' WAILS: **WELL EXCUSE ME FOR NOT BEING PERFECT. GOSH. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, WOMAN?!)

* * *

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* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; runwaygoddess; runwithskizzers  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _It's almost Halloween._

My dad's out of the country. And my mom just sent another cheque.  
We have money, funds, and an empty house.

CAN WE GO PARTY, _NAOW_?!?!?!

-Karin

P.S. Does anyone have any idea what we want to go as?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwithskizzers  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _No fricken duhhh, Sherlock._

Oh yay! Your dad is a complete jerk. And your mom just amazes me on how she spits out cheques at random...  
....Wait, wait, wait.

Money. Funds. AND AN EMPTY HOUSE?!

CHICAS, WTF ARE WE WAITING FOR?!

lessthanthree  
Ino

P.S. I want to be a fairy... No, wait. I want to be... I'll be... Um..... I don't know.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwaygoddess  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Hi, captain Obvious._

I hate your dad, we all already know this. And money's always amazing so your mom has my respect atm.  
Do I _have _to party?

...Will there be booze? Because if there's booze _I am so there._

later,

Tenten

P.S. I want to be.... HAHA. I'm gonna be a Lethal Ballerina.

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar; runwaygoddess; runwithskizzers  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Yes, Karin dear, we know._

Karin, you know I said you could come stay with me... I wish you would?  
Why am I suddenly so scared?

NO SLUTTY COSTUMES FOR ME, PLEASE.  
Because I might faint and just _die_. T_T

Sincerely,  
Hina-chan

P.S. Uhm... I - I dunno what I want to be...

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; moonsightdarklight; runwaygoddess; runwith skizzers  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _Really? I so thought it was Valentine's Day soon... Damn, no chocolate. WAIT. TRICK OR TREATING. h33_

I'm surprised that your dad hasn't fallen into your garbage disposal yet. You should push him into it.  
Money makes the world go round. ^_^  
(Doesn't money=funds...?)

Cha!  
Sak

P.S. Salsa dancer... Doctor... hmmm...

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; runwaygoddess; runwithskizzers  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _I am TRYING TO PLAN SOMETHING. STOP MOCKING ME, BITCHES._

Let's not talk about my family, okay?  
We all know how I feel about it.  
And Hinata, your family scares me. So no.  
(Also, yes, Sak, money does = funds. Meh.)

Tenten. Think about it for a minute.  
When was the last time I threw a party that DIDN'T have alcohol involved, hmmm?  
GIVE ME SOME CREDIT.

-Karin

P.S. I want handcuffs. Yesyesyes.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; dancelikenooniswatching; runwithskizzers  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _SHUT UP, SKANK, YOU LOVE US. LOVE US NAOW._

Ah whatever. Your parents suck; the end.  
On to much more important matters.

LIKE PARTYING.

I am so there. I will so dance like my ass is on fire. And I will so get shitfaced.  
Because IT'S HALLOWEEN.

Hey, Tenten, isn't that, like, your second birthday? HAH.

-lessthanthree  
Ino

P.S. Oooh. Dominatrix. Ino liiiiiiikes.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwaygoddess  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _I SLAP YOU LIKE A BITCH AND YOU TAKE IT LIKE A WHORE_

I agree with The Porkster on this.  
Now...

I AM THERE, THEN.  
Because I am going to get so drunk, the most drunktart at AA won't have nothing on me.

...Ino I am going to bitch slap you the next time I see you. SEE HINATA, SHE'S THE ONE THAT STARTS IT!!!!

later,

Tenten

P.S. Ever the slore, Karin.

* * *

To: cherrlipssuperstar; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwqithskizzers; runwaygoddess  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _I... how are you my _friends_?!_

Am having trouble _not_ agreeing with Ino.  
STILL. YOU SHOULD COME LIVE WITH ME.

Alcohol = bad for Hinata.  
Uhm, who would we be... uh, inviting?

And Ino, stop baiting Tenten, that's not nice. Don't make me find you and make you regret showing me how to use blackmail.  
Tenten, stop letting her get to you.

Sincerely,  
Hina-chan

P.S. Is there anything I could go as that's... I dunno... _not_ slutty?

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight; runwaygoddess; cherrylipssuperstar; runwithskizzers  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _Tch, Hinata, you adore us. 'Sides, isn't that _Sak's_ line?_

Well, yeah. I know. T____T  
No way. Your family is _way_ too scary, thanks.

Alcohol = GOOD FOR THE WHOLE WORLD.  
Huh, I dunno... everyone from school?

-Karin

P.S. I AM NOT A SLORE (most of the time). STFU.  
P.P.S. No, Hinata, there is no such thing as a non-slutty girl's costume. Sorry, it comes with the territory.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwithskizzers  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _SAKURA LOVES US TOO FOR WE ARE AMAZING._

I have to agree with Candii on this one.  
Your family is really really scary, Hina.

ALCOHOL EQUALS MY ONE TRUE LOVE.  
Ewwwww. No. Don't invite people like that girl that sits next to me in chem. She ANNOYS me.

Hina, I have no idea what you're talking about. I was being nothing but polite to our dearest Ten-chan.  
TENTEN SUCKS BIG FAT DILDOS!!

lessthanthree  
Ino

P.S. YOU'RE ALWAYS A SLORE, STFU.  
P.P.S. HINATA SHOULD BE A FAIRY. BECAUSE SHE IS SHORT AND ADORABLE AND REALLY PRETTY. BE IT, HINA. BEEEEEE ITTTTT.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwaygoddess  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _SAKURA'S TOO BUSY TO LOVE US. LET'S ANNEX HER._

Pffft. Hinata's family isn't that scary.  
Hina's the only scary one. Other than that, they're all a bunch of wussies. LIKE A CERTAIN SOMEONE WHOM WE SHALL NOT SPEAK OF.

Alcohol's the most amazing thing in the entire galaxy. When I become ruler of the world, there shall be a National Drink Alcohol Day.  
No exceptions, sorry Hina.

ALSO. DON'T INVITE ALL THOSE LOSERS THAT KEEP ASKING ME FOR INO'S NUMBER FOR I WILL GO APESHIT ON THEM AT SAID PARTY.  
Don't invite that freaky chess-freak that has this weird crush on me. For it is scary.

Hinata. I have no words for you. YOU OFFICIALLY SUCK TOO.  
YOU FUCKIN' FAT SACK OF SHIT, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT. YOU'RE THE OWNER OF ALL THE COLORFUL DILDOS.

You can make a commercial; Dildos - taste the rainbow.

HAHAHA.

later,

Tenten

P.S. Karin, you're always a slore.  
P.P.S. I agree, for once, with the Pig. Be a fairy Hina. You'll look cute.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwaygoddess; runwithskizzers  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _AFHKLJL._

I'm not... _that_ scary...

BOTH OF YOU.  
**SHUT UP IF YOU WANT TO LIVE**.  
**I AM NOT IN THE MOOD**.

ARE WE CLEAR?!

...Never mind. I lied, I am scary.

Sincerely,  
Hina-chan

P.S. ...Can I be a _not_ slutty fairy?

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; moonsightdarklight; runwaygoddess; runwith skizzers  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _HINATA. WHAT KIND OF FRIEND STEALS THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF ANOTHER FRIEND'S MOUTH?!_

Hinata's family is so teddy-bear-like. I mean, Tenten's squashing all of Neji's willpower as we speak-email-whatever...  
But Hinata is friggin' scary.  
LOVE YOU.

Alcohol... Tsunade drinks a lot of it.  
It makes her lazy when it comes to necessary paperwork. She's no Cuddy, that's for sure.  
But if she was Cuddy, who would be House...?  
Shizune would be like Dr. Cameron...

Cha!  
Sakura

P.S. Hinata would fail at being slutty. LET HER BE THE MOST ADORABLE FAIRY EVERRRRR.  
But not so cute that she ensnares Naruto with her fairy charms.  
We will ignore how kinda cute they are together.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; runwaygoddess; runwithskizzers  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _I don't know you I don't know you I don't know you._

Yes, Hinata, you are.

...

...

...

And _that_ is why Hinata could lead a rebellion, and we never could.  
She'd get annoyed to the point where she'd snap, and then go on a fiery rampage of doom, and destroy all that dared to oppose her.  
Don't you _dare_ deny it.

-Karin

P.S. No, Hinata, there isn't. Stop kidding yourself, you'll be gorgeous anyways. And a fairy would suit you.  
P.P.S. She would NOT fail at being slutty! NO GIRL CAN FAIL AT BEING SLUTTY.  
P.P.P.S. **I AM NOT A SLORE. EFF YOU.**

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwithskizzers  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _wow. i have no words. no words at all._

Ahem.

LET'S GO COSTUME SHOPPING.

NAOW.

NAOW.

NAOW.

lessthanthree  
Ino

P.S. I have no words for Hina. But she'd make a slutty fairy look decent so it'll work.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; dancelikenooneiswatchng; runwaygoddess  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _throw a peace sign and say hey pimp daddy!_

I am completely looking over the part where Hina goes Psycho on us.  
Seriously.

And, to the Pig, I'm free.... I guess.  
Just as long as we don't stay at the mall for all eternity. I get hungry.

later,

Tenten

P.S. Just do ittttttt.

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; runwaygoddess; cherrylipssuperstar; runwithskizzers  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject:_ Now, we're all in a better mood, yes?_

And I did not go psycho on you.

Which mall, and do I have to pick anyone up?

Sincerely,  
Hina-chan

P.S. BUT I DON'T WANNA BE A SLUT. DDDDDX

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; moonsightdarklight; runwaygoddess; runwith skizzers  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _Well, you'd better prayyyyyyy_

I need a pick-up!  
Please and thank-you. :)  
And I don't care what mall.

Someone needs to help me decide on a costume!

Cha!  
Sak

P.S. Again, Hina and slutty? They're antithetical.  
Or something.

* * *

To: runwithskizzers; moonsightdarklight; cherrylipssuperstar; runwaygoddess  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _BAHAHAHAHAHAAA. BITCH. She so owns you two_.

Shopping is defs good.

As long as there are handcuffs, I will be happy.

Also, I don't wanna drive.  
So yes, Hinata, I need a pick-up.  
And we're going to Sunnyside, right?

-Karin

P.S. EMBRACE THE SLUTTINESS, HINATA. EMBRACE IT. Because, really, it's embracing and loving it, or denying, and then getting into really sticky situations in which you can only escape by BEING a slut. This goes for you, too, Sak.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwithskizzers  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _bitch, you're just jealous because you are no longer my secret lesbian lover. I HAVE ABANDONED YOU._

Alright. Let's meet in front of the mall then, coz I'll be driving myself...Unless..

Tenten do you need a ride?

lessthanthree  
Ino

P.S. EMBRACE ITTTTTTTTTT.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar; moonsightdarklight; dancelikenooneiswatching; runwaygoddess  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _i own myself, kthxzbai._

Nooo.

Hah.

I just found myself a ride. Smirkkkk.

See you guys there.

later,

Tenten

P.S. What they said. Seriously, Hina. It's either join them or die. Because you definitely can't beat 'em. Trust me, I've tried.

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; runwithskizzers; cherrylipssuperstar; runwaygoddess  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _I hope you all die a painful death._

Alright, then I'll pick Karin & Sak up...

See you all in ten.  
Sunnyside, it is.

Sincerely,  
Hina-chan

P.S. NO. NO. NO.

* * *

To: runwaygoddess; moonsightdarklight; runwithskizzers; cherrylipssuperstar  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: ..._OUCH. Oh well, I'm still getting laid. ;D_

See you all, then.

-Karin

P.S. EMBRACE. EMBRACE. EMBRACE.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Karin looked out her front window, and waited for Hinata to pull up. She studied her nails -Hi-Def, today-, and tried not to start a list of all the people that would be invited to this party. It would probably be the length of The Odyssey, and as far as Karin was concerned, that could not be a good thing.

Because, really, The Odyssey was just so _boring_.

And the party? Well, it was going to be _not_ boring, so that probably wasn't a very good analogy. Huh, maybe Harry Potter length; it made a little more sense.

And Harry Potter was definitely more interesting then The Odyssey. _Definitely_.

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
i'm bored. you have no idea how bored i am. talk to me.**

* * *

Ino hummed as she skipped to her car, her daddy's credit card in her tote-bag. Today was a gooooood day! Ino loved good days, they made her feel radiant and amazing and powerful. Giggling to herself, she hopped into her car, throwing her bag on the passenger's seat and started the ignition. But before she could even go ahead and drive off, she made sure her ugly car was at least blasting a good song.

That's when Blink 182 started blowing at her speakers.

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

Ino flailed as she turned up the volume and mouthed the words to "Feeling This".

And then, in a blink of an eye, she was driving off towards the Mall. Her best friend.

* * *

**From: Booty-Call #1  
To: Candii  
asdfghjkl; wtf... what time iz it? ...whattttt.**

* * *

Tenten was a _lethal ballerina_, dammit!

That was what _everyone _compared her too. She was lithe and swift and quiet and totally ninja! As she made her way down the hall of her new home, she hummed the theme song to Mission Impossible, headbanging every now and then, stopping, leaning against the wall and then repeating everything. Of course, she was _supposed _to have major fun in doing this.

She peeked her head through the bar-breakfast-table-thing and made sure the coast was clear. And then the living room. And then she shrugged - Anko was probably still sleeping anyway! So she continued on her way, still humming, still being slick and grabbed Anko's car-keys from the hanger-thing.

...And then, cackling maniacally, Tenten was out of the house and on the orange BMW M3. Blasting some amazing music (Such as Sirens by Angels & Airwaves) on the radio, via her iPod.

After that, Tenten took off to doomsday in a mall.

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
it's past noon. i'm waiting for Hinata to come pick me up. talk to me.**

* * *

Hinata parked in front of Karin's house. She didn't even bother getting up - she just gunned the engine of Neji's old hand-me-down car, and Karin came bobbing out of the house, a very ridiculous grin on her lips.

This was nothing new. Hinata just shook her head as Karin bounced into the passenger seat, that odd grin still plastered on her face. As she buckled herself in, all Hinata asked was "Wh-what are _you_ s-smoking?"

Karin flicked her iPod on, scrolled through the boy bands -it wouldn't annoy Hinata; therefore, there was no point-, and when she finally got up to the Beatles, she just smiled, and hit 'Play'.

The sigh of relief and love that issued from Hinata was more then enough to make up for the lack of boy-band-age. Karin just cracked her neck, sat back, and smiled as they listened to Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, her fingers toying with her phone, waiting for it to buzz again.

Hinata honestly had to wonder who she was texting. But then, Hinata was never one to pry, so she let it go, and concentrated on the road, and getting them to Sakura's place before heading to Sunnyside without crashing into something and _killing them all_.

* * *

**From: Booty-Call #1  
To: Candii  
well... what do you want me to say. i just woke up...?**

* * *

Ino blew a kiss at a guy who was staring at her for far too long. Usually, doing that did the trick - caused them to flush and feel weird and by the time they regain their resolve to do something back, she was already gone.

Giggling, she bobbed her head to the next song on her amazing Blink 182 bonanza - "What's My Age Again?". She cranked up her speed, going at just about 85 mph down the freeway, criss-crossing through the slow drivers.

What made Ino feel super-fantabulous was the wind tickling her face, dancing with her hair. It felt super amazing.

It wasn't long before she arrived to the mall, parking her convertible in one of the few parking spaces. Then, pulling the top part of her red tube-top back up her chest, she walked towards the front of Sunnyside, smirking at all the stares she was receiving.

Oh, eat your heart out, boys.

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
i know. but i need you to do something for me.**

* * *

Tenten glared at the stupid douche bag that thought he could drive faster than her. She raised an eyebrow as a challenge and before she knew it, she was speeding off-off-off. She cackled when she did a sharp turn to the freeway, making the idiot speed off by himself.

This car was sooooo pretty. Tenten loved it.

And the color! Oh, it was _amazing_.

She continued to coo over it, changing the song to "Fat Lip," and headbanging her head to the beat. Gah, how she hated taking the freeway. Seriously.

It would be _forever _before she got to the mall...

...And now she was _hungry_!

* * *

**From: Booty-Call #1  
To: Candii  
and what, may i ask, is that?**

* * *

The red-headed girl smirked, and tossed back her hair. Really, she had no idea how Hinata did it - the girl managed to drive at scary-fast speeds, and yet manage to make the ride smoother then cream, and far less scary then Ino ever managed to.

Karin quietly thanked the stars; Hinata was a far saner driver then Ino was, and it showed; the fact that Karin was not a bubbling mess of snot and fear was proof of this. She grinned, and tugged Hinata towards the mall's doors.

After all, if anyone else was here, they would be in the food court; that was the general meeting place, when they met up. It didn't matter where they were - if they got lost, they would just head to the food court, and would find each other later on. It was a system that worked.

And so that was Karin's reasoning for dragged Hinata towards the closest fast food place - god, there _had_ to be some fries and a milkshake around there _somewhere_...

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
i want you to help me plan a hallowe'en party.**

* * *

Ino, while she waited for the other slowmos to arrive, had helped herself to some latte from Starbucks... Though, she'd admit, it had nothing on the lattes from The Magic Bean, she mused as she sipped at it.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked around the food court. Bright blue eyes brightened all the more at the sight of red and ink-blue and pink. She flailed over towards them and glomped Hinata - all while making sure not to drop any of her latte.

"HINA! I've missed you so!" She cradled the smaller girl in her arms, giggling and flailing and just being plain Ino.

Honestly, without her, these girls would be nothing! Nothing!

* * *

Tenten damned everyone as she parked the car and dashed towards the mall, her stupid pony-tail flying all over the place behind her.

She made her way straight to the food court, dodging ignorant people that did not move out of her way, walking right through couples, zoomed passed little kids until she had the scent of food going through her nose.

Tenten was in paradise.

Amazingly, she passed by her four friends and waved, "No time. I have to find food before I combust."

And then she made line for some Panda Express. Because she got in the mood for some fried rice.

Her mouth watered.

* * *

Hinata mentally sighed while Ino coddled her. She was really used to this sort of treatment. She heard Sakura exhale noisily -Sakura was the least tolerant of Ino's coddling habits, only after Tenten-, and Hinata just smiled a small smile.

The girls (minus Tenten - she was still off getting fried rice) settled at one of the tables in the food court. Karin ran off to get fries and a milkshake -freak-, and Hinata just sighed. Her friends were so weird...

It would take less the ten minutes for all of her friends to return, and they were sitting around the table, happily munching on the several boxes of fries that Karin had come back with.

"S-so," Hinata said. "Wh-where first?"

* * *

Ino sipped at her latte and gave Sakura a smug smirk. Just to annoy her because annoying Sakura was one of her specialties. Like, seriously.

"Welllll," she said, puckering her lips up as she thought of something. "We can always start at Hot Topic - they usually have nice things there for Halloween." A big, big grin appeared on her lips once she caught Sakura and Hinata's twitches.

"Awe, c'mon guys! I'll let you hold my hand!"

"Ino... I-I... Don't think..."

"Nonsense! We'll eventually go to Spencer's and then, well, we have all the time in the world! We can go _everywhere_."

* * *

Tenten appeared with two orders of fried rice, a content grin on her lips.

"We can go _everywhere_!"

She blinked, "Okay, why don't I like the sound of this?"

"Because she's making us go all over the mall," Sakura answered.

Tenten wondered why _she _was labeled the asylum escapee, when clearly that was _Ino_. Seriously. She shook her head and took her seat, smacking her lips together in pure glee at the sight of her _foooood_.

"I'll just need a lot of fuel-age... And maybe I'll escape all of you and go home."

"NEVAHHHHH."

* * *

Karin stared straight at Tenten, a very deadpan look on her face.

"You bitch. If you _try_ to escape, we will _hunt you down_, and make your life _very_, _very_ sketchy. No, we are not above that. Be afraid. Be very, very afraid."

It was rather quiet for a moment.

Hinata just shook her head, and murmured "I c-can't believe I _k-know_ you people..."

* * *

Ino nodded from Tenten's side.

"She's absolutely right! I have _a lot _of blackmail on you and I _will _use it to my advantage-- Who the hell are you texting while I'm being a blackmailer?!"

Tenten blinked and looked up from her cellphone's screen. Her goofy smile disappear in a blink of an eye and she cleared her throat, "U-uh... No one. Nope. No one - guy, what guy? You're crazy."

Ino narrowed her eyes, "A guy? He's a guy? Who is he, spill it out."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"TENTEN."

"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO SMILE!"

Ino then began to wrench Tenten's phone out of her hand.

* * *

The three other girls -Karin, Hinata, and Sakura- all immediately began to back away; shrinking into the slightly grimy, strangely plushy seats of the food court booth they were sitting at, and _away_ from Tenten and Ino, struggling with the phone.

Because, hi? Getting in the way of one of Ino and Tenten's fights was like getting in the way of a raging bull, who had just been stuck in the ass by a matador's sword (Karin still remembered the first and only time she had watched a bull fight - she'd been cheering for the bull, and had screamed support when the matador got gored. This was exactly the same), and who was in extreme pain.

It was just not a healthy thing to do.

Actually, it was probably the most insane thing any person in the _entire world_ would ever, _ever_ do.

Really.

Seriously.

But even so, Karin was reaching dangerously close to the fight, so that she could grab her fries and her milkshake, and book it the hell towards Snapple-Spines, the random little bookshop that was tucked away in Karin's favourite corner of the mall - the least-frequented part.

Closer, closer, closer...

And then she snatched the fries, grabbed her milkshake, threw her bag over her shoulder, and sprinted away.

"I'M GETTING AWAY FROM THEM BEFORE THEY BLOW THE MALL UP, KAYTHANKSBAI," she yelled over her shoulder, canvas bag swinging behind her wildly. She wasn't sure if the others (read: Sakura and Hinata) were going to follow her, but she kind of didn't want them too.

It wasn't that she didn't love them... but Snapple-Spines was _her_ little piece of heaven.

* * *

"KARIN," Ino shrieked, stepping into Snapple-Spines (of course that was where she would run off to. Karin was weird like that), and almost automatically pinpointed where the red head was at. "KARIN!"

She appeared in front of her, blue eyes shining as she waved Tenten's cellphone in the air between them. "Tenten's got a booty-call! His name's... Um... Hold on lemme check."

Ino loved play-fighting with Tenten because Tenten play-fought back. Play-fighting with Sakura involved brains (which she had, of course) because the pinkette always went off in a rant about arsenal and poisons and whatever. Play-fighting with Karin ended up with name-calling and tongue-sticking-outs and they weren't fun. And play-fighting with Hinata was just not done.

So Tenten was her last hope.

Seriously.

"Um... She has a booty-call!"

* * *

Karin _doom-glared_ her. "You! I run away from you and your fights, and you _follow_ me! You bad, bad frie- Wait, Tenten has a _booty-call_?"

Ino promptly ignored everything Karin had said, except the part about the booty-call. "Yup! LOOK. LOOK, AND BE AMAZED."

Karin grabbed the phone from Ino, and scanned the texts in Tenten's inbox. After reading the contents of three sexually-charged texts, it was all Karin could do to cover her mouth, and giggle "_Omigosh_, she's as dirty-minded as _I_ am! I didn't even think that was _possible_!"

She giggled again, and filed away this information for later use.

Tenten was _so_ not going to live this down.

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
FOR GOD'S SAKE, SUI, WAKE THE FUCK UP.**

* * *

Tenten practically boomed into Snapple-Spines, a heavy glare on her brow and her eyes narrowed.

Oh, it was _on_, it was _oooooooon_.

She stomped towards the two girls, her teeth grinding with every step she took. Seriously, this was not cool. Not cool at all. SHE WANTED HER PHONE BACK, THANKS! She glared at the blonde and flared her nostrils as she exhaled. "Gimme the phone, and no one gets hurt."

Ino only snorted. Tenten's threats never meant a thing to her. Seriously - Asylum-Escapee-Lethal-Ballerina or not, the shorter brunette was nothing of a threat... Most of the time. But still. Ino liked challenges. "Tenten - you got a booty call and you didn't even tell us?!"

"Gimme. The. Phone." She outstretched her hand, palm facing upwards.

"No." Ino raised an eyebrow and smirked.

And then there was an eruption: "....GIMME THE PHONE, PORK-CHOPS!"

"Not until you tell us about... _Shino-McSmexy_, as you so amazingly called him here," Ino had a wide grin on her lips as she watched Tenten's cheeks grow red.

* * *

**From: Booty-Call #1  
To: Candii  
asdfghjkl; leave me aloneee.**

* * *

Karin raised an eyebrow. "Shino-Mc_Smexy_? Tut, tut, Tenten, _why were we not informed of this_, hmm? Hi, we're your best friends, and you're _leaving us in the **dark**_!"

She proceeded to pretend to cry, even though Tenten looked like she was beginning to steam - Karin had simply come to the conclusion that Tenten wouldn't _actually_ hurt them, not unless they did something _really_ bad (like hurt BunBun. Because that was just a no-no, and, like, an _invitation_ for Death. Seriously).

And so Karin and Ino danced around the bookshop for a good ten minutes, playing Keep Away with the phone.

It probably wasn't a good idea, but, meh, who were _they_ to deny the urge to have fun?

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
pfft, fine. be like that. there are other boys who'll help me do what i want.**

* * *

Ino loved teasing.

It's just an Ino-thing. Of course, she knew her limits and therefore never caused any severe problems, which was good. Teasing Tenten was better than just random teasing. Because teasing Tenten was like... Like a fat-kid winning a free box of Ho-Ho's. Seriously.

She giggled and flailed around, Karin right next to her, the cell phone dancing back and forth from her hands to the redhead's and so on.

...That is until they came to a stop right in front of Hinata. Hands on her hips.

Ohhhh. Shiiiiit.

* * *

**From: Booty-Call #1  
To: Candii  
stop fuckin' around. what do you want me to do with your dumb party.**

* * *

Hinata stood in Snapple-Spines, her white-moon-eyes _flashing_ at the two girls who had taken the teasing just a _little_ bit too far, in Hinata's taste. She stared at the two girls, and said, very, very slowly "I think y-you should g-give it back. _Now_. A-are we _clear_?"

The look of gratitude that Tenten sent her way was not missed, and Hinata smiled.

She stared both Karin and Ino down, until Karin -who had the phone, at that point- carefully handed it back.

And then, Hinata said, voice still low and slow, "A-apologize. That was _rude_, and yo-you're _friends_!"

Hinata watched both Ino and Karin wince in satisfaction, Okay, so maybe she was a _little _bit scary when bothered, but, really, so what if Tenten was possibly hooking up with someone? It happened. And neither Ino _nor_ Karin ought to be ones to talk.

So Hinata sent them variable _doom_ glares, until both girls gave Tenten apologetic looks, and murmured a few soft "Sorry, Tenny..."

Hinata crossed her arms over her chest, and smiled to herself. Definitely worth it.

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
****that's what i thought. i need you to come save me from Hinata, 'coz she's scary. and i want you to help me decorate.**

* * *

Tenten smirked triumphantly as her precious phone was handed back to her (a Motorola Karma, because Anko had decided her old phone had too many dents and _far_ too many cracks. Oh, how she loved that woman), and a few mumbles of apologies were given.

Upside of her tease-fighting with the Ino-Karin duo? Hinata was on _her _side.

Who said Tenten was scarier than Hinata.... Pffft. They had no idea what they were talking about.

Eagerly, and after shooting the duo a glare, she went back to texting. Ignoring as they all argued and whined about where exactly they were gonna go search for their Halloween costume. Sighing, and pocketing Roxy back in her hoodie's pouch-pocket-thing, she looked up at them.

"I GOTTA FEELING."

And she loved how they all just stopped to stare at her.

Tenten grinned and waved.

* * *

**From: Booty-Call #1  
To: Candii  
decorate. wtf. does it look like i'm good at that shit?**

* * *

Karin decided that it was clearly a good idea to hide behind Ino for the rest of the day - once one had pissed Hinata off, it was best to just let her alone, and let the small, not-easily-angered girl cool down.

(Because, seriously. _No one_ was as scary as Hinata was when she was pissed off. _No one_.)

She caught the doom glare that Hinata was still emanating, and gulped. Okay, time to defuse the situation - and the best way to do that was to distract them all. "Okay, who wants to get some shopping done? And - wait, where did Sakura go?"

Hinata huffed. "She's wa-waiting outside. C-c'mon."

Karin gulped again, shot a terrified glance at the quailing Ino and at the happily -albeit silently- cheering Tenten.

Oh dear.

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
i just need a guy to help put up the things i can't reach. and it's not like you won't get... rewarded.**

* * *

Ino puffed her chest out and quit her inward woebegone.

"Okay, let's just get the shoppin' going because obviously Tenten's just sexually frustrated that Hinata's cousin is so lame so yes. Anyway, let's just go to.... Hot Topic, then? Yes?"

Tenten was glaring daggers again and with an indignant pout, stomped out of Snapple-Spines and went off in the general direction towards Hot Topic, dragging along a poor Sakura with her. Ino grinned because that's what she was aiming for - Tenten quitting her cheering.

Because she may have one this time. But, oh hell, the war was _not _over.

"Alrighty then," she grabbed Karin's arm and Hinata's as well, "LET'S GO!"

* * *

**From: Booty-Call #1  
To: Candii  
well when you put it that way, i'm there.**

* * *

Shopping was either really, really boring, or really, really fun.

Right then, it was _not_ fun. Ino would run into a store, peruse things for half a second, and then pronounce the store to be "Not Halloween Material! LET'S GO!"

It was all Karin could do to allow herself to be dragged from store to store.

This continued until they came to Benny Lava's Hobby Shop. Ino bounced into the (very) flamboyant store. She looked about for a minute, before deciding that this was clearly the place where they were going to be getting their costumes.

Karin pursed her lips.

The place was _exploding_ with boas and masks and feathers of all shapes and sizes. The walls were lined, floor to ceiling, with packets and packets of pre-created costumes. But there were also racks and racks of dresses, capes, and, well, _more_ boas. The owner was no where to be found -probably in the back room-, and the five girls were the only ones in the little shop.

Well. It was _interesting_, at least. Karin pushed her glasses up her nose, and watched as Ino turned to face them. It was a very, very slow, and very, very scary.

But the slow turn had _nothing_ on the grin that was plastered on Ino. Karin mimicked the gulp that issued from her friends.

This was about to get _very_ messy.

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
COME SAVE ME. PLEASE.**

* * *

Tenten did not like that smile.

She did _not _like it _one bit_. It was screaming out I AM SO GONNA ABUSE OF YOU ALL SOMEWAY OR ANOTHER, EITHER PICK OUT YOUR COSTUMES NOW OR FEEL MY WRATH IN WHICH I CHOOSE FOR YOU_. _Tenten quickly scurried to anything... remotely similar to the outfit sketched in her head.

Imagine her utter pleasure when she found a black tutu - which was... weird since the place seemed to choke on _colors_ and more _colors_. Tenten surveyed it, scrutinized, felt the material, pressed it against her hips, looked at herself in the mirrors and -- were those fishnet stockings?

A snicker passed her lips as she skipped towards it and decided that you know what? Screw the leggings she had planned to wear under - these will do.

"TENTENNN."

Eyes wide, Tenten began to search for a hiding place, "TENTEN'S NOT HERE AT THE MOMENT, PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP!"

"Tenten!"

"NEVAH!"

"Ten-- Is that... a _whip_?"

* * *

**From: Booty-Call #1  
To: Candii  
will you hold on, i'm gonna eat and shower. i can't do anything without food.**

* * *

Karin only vaguely heard the word "whip". Honestly, she didn't even _want_ to know.

She was already booking it in the other direction (hint; the direction of the till. Hey. She'd found a police costume. And it had the _hand-cuffs_.

**_Good-quality_** hand-cuffs.

Suigetsu was not going to know what _hit_ him.

But to actually _use_ them, she was going to have to _survive_ this mess of a shopping trip. And that meant that she needed to escape with her body intact. It would take careful planning.

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
hurry, okay? please?**

* * *

Hinata was _choking_.

There was no other way to describe it.

_Every single costume_ in the place, for a female of her stature, was made of little more then lace and gauzy-sheer fabric. It was _terrifying_.

There were a pair of pretty, glittery fairy wings on the rack - Hinata carefully picked them up, and held them up, to get a better look at them. Under the incandescent light, the white wings turned glowy-green, shimmer-white, and a brilliant-wet-blue that was the sky on a summer day.

They were _gorgeous_.

And _scary_.

Hinata gulped.

* * *

**From: Booty-Call #1  
To: Candii  
asdfghjkl; back off. i'll be there in a while.**

* * *

Ino stared at the whip... It had, like, those halo-things - it was like sheen sparkle sparkle. It was calling her name. It was saying _buy me Ino... Buy meeeee and whip some boys into shape_. Ino tilted her head as she walked towards the black whip, a devilish grin coming to her lips.

Catwoman. With a whip.

"OH-EMM-EFF-GEE!" A thought struck her.

The usual Catwoman suit, sure... With a whip and _thigh-high boots_.

...Only where could she find these thigh-high boots? Ino flailed and grabbed the whip in her grip.

"GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. I HAVE A WHIP. I HAVE A WHIIIIIIIIIP!"

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
p.s. i think Ino wants yours friends to come to said halloween party. i'm apologizing in advance.**

* * *

Hinata blinked at Ino.

"U-uhm Ino, what w-would you need a wh-whip for?"

Her face turned the colour of a tomato on the word "whip", and when Ino just _smirked_, it didn't get much better. Hinata could only mentally flail, and try to stuff her fingers in her ears.

It didn't work so well.

* * *

**From: Booty-Call #1  
To: Candii  
...oh great. i'm sooo excited. note my sarcasm.**

* * *

Ignoring Ino's flails over a whip, Tenten flailed for other reasons.... THEY HAD THOSE PRETTY FAIRY WINGS.

IN BLACK.

Tenten just _knew _she was going to be simply _amazing _for this Halloween party. Seriously. A _Lethal Ballerina_ - and it was copyrighted, too. Smirking, she went off to go pay... then, she might even have the chances of escaping!

This just made her snicker all the more.

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
look, it's either that, or Ino is going to own my my soul for a week. and that means she will know everything about my sex life - my sex life meaning YOU. do you WANT her to have that sort of power over you?!**

* * *

Karin had just finished handing her debit card to the till guy (he'd shot a glance up and down her body -focused on her boobs-, and had proceeded to give her a discount), when Tenten came blowing towards her, looking like a manic freak on weed. Or something.

"What are _you _smoking? You look like a squirrel on speed!"

Tenten just shot her A Look. "Do_ you _want to deal with Piggy over there_? No, _thank you!"

Karin just smirked. "You're just angry 'coz she's got a whip, and you_ don't_!

Tenten looked affronted. "DIE, BITCH!"

The poor guy at the till looked utterly confused, and far more then just a little bit scared. Karin shot him a her most sensual grin, grabbed the handcuffs / police outfit that he had just bagged, and headed for the door.

That was much, _much_ better.

* * *

**From: Booty-Call #1  
To: Candii  
toots, would you be quiet for one fuckin' second. you're annoying me, over txting. just stfu and hold tight i'm already on my way.**

* * *

Ino sighed, all her shopping-spirit drained.

Suddenly, she felt like... like.... going home. Which was totally weird. Shopping and Ino were one in the same. They were _best friends._

But it was trueeee. She wanted to go home. Or something. Seriously. These people she was with were totally cramping up her style - seriously. So, sighing dejectedly she made her way to pay for her whip and decided that _her _Catwoman outfit was going to have a corset along with her thigh-highs and her whip. Hah. Total dominatrix.

Ino liiiiikes.

A small smile came to her lips.

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
i adore you at this moment, even tho' i'm insulted. see you soon.**

* * *

Karin was about to go out the door when she felt a chill at her back.

It was the same kind of chill that usually preceeded Tenten trying to kill someone - or Hinata going super-scary - or Sakura pulling out the arsenic - or Ino - or Ino _losing her interest in shopping_.

To be fair, that last one had only happened once before, and that was right after Sasori had dumped her. So it couldn't be that, could it? Karin whipped around, just to check. Ino was standing in the middle of the store, looking forlornly at the whip she was holding.

Okay, that was just _scary_.

"Ino, are you okay?" Karin called across the empty space.

* * *

**From: Booty-Call #1  
To: Candii  
...yeah. okay. whatever.**

* * *

Ino let a small smile come to her lips and nodded her head, "Yeah. I just don't feel like shopping... Maybe I'll just leave and... come back for the rest of my costume some other time..."

She sighed and went off to the cashier, ignoring how he checked her out and whatever. Automatically, she took out her father's credit card, paid and headed for the door, seriously. She was just... It's not like she was angry or whatever - it's just that she... She didn't know. It was weird.

Whatever.

"I'll see you girlies tomorrow...?"

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Booty-Call #1  
WHERE ARE YOU, INO'S BEING FUCKING CREEPY-SCARY. p.s. you love me, don't deny it.**

* * *

Karin eyes narrowed.

She stared at Ino's emo-looking form (what. the. fuck. Ino and emo? Hello, _not done_!), and simply said "Ino... go find... Whatshisface. You'll feel better. Seriously."

Ino brightened considerably.

Really, it was almost disgusting - Karin felt slightly sickened - did _she_ look like that when Suigetsu appeared? Oh, _hell_ no, she did _not_! Ino had _no right_ to be love-sick! Wasn't she supposed to be helping hook Sakura up, or something? Like, _please_!

Karin pursed her lips.

...

She was _not_ that pathetic!

Seriously!

* * *

**From: Booty-Call #1  
To: Candii  
will you stop fuckin' annoying me? i'm outside, hurry the hell up or i'm leaving.**

* * *

Tenten snickered and flailed out of the store, yelling an "I'M SORRY I KINDA STOLE ANKO'S CAR OVER HERE NOW I MUST GO RETURN IT OR SOMETHING, AND GET A MILKSHAKE, BAI!"

Okay, the list:

Tutu - CHECK.

Fishnet stockings - CHECK.

Black fairy wings - CHECK.

And she had her 3D glasses (which she plucked the black lenses out of) and those combat boots from that one time were still around and.... HOLY CRAP. Her Halloween costume was finite! This caused Tenten to flail all the more.

SHE WAS _SO _GONNA GO TRICK-OR-TREATING.

* * *

Hinata looked at Sakura, and raised a single dark eyebrow. Sakura raised a pale pink one in return.

"S-so I'm gonna be a s-slutty fairy, and y-you're g-going to be a h-hooker-doctor? Good costume c-choice, Sakura."

Sakura smacked her. "I AM NOT A HOOKER DOCTOR!"

Hinata just blinked at her. "In t-that outfit, you will be."

And then Hinata ran away, and hid in a rack of feather boas. She laughed to herself a little evilly, and waited for Sakura to chase after her. Bahahaa, reveeeeengeeee...

* * *

Karin called over her shoulder to Hinata and Sakura, both still searching for costumes (and poor, emo-looking Ino) -Tenten had already sprinted off- "I'VE GOTTA RUN. But I'll see you three, uh, later, okay?"

And then she grabbed the plastic bag that was carrying her costume, and booked it out of the store.

(Part of her was sick that she was almost giddy. Seriously. Sick. Just sick.

This was pathetic.)

* * *

Ino siiiighed dejectedly again and waved a hand, "I'm out."

And she left, fishing out her phone and texting a number that perhaps was a crime to have already memorized. But what the hell, Ino had done worse things, seriously. So she let a small smile come to her lips and texted at the speed of light with one hand as she made her way towards her car.

Because she was _that _amazing.

* * *

**From: kiddo  
To: Stud  
hey there hot-stuff! ;)**

* * *

Kiba seriously hated working, sometimes.

He hated it almost as much as he loved getting off work, and taking five minutes to shower.

Seriously, best part of his day. Kiba ran a towel over his still-wet hair, and went to find his clothes, another towel hanging off his hips, water dripping down his torso.

"Goddamn grease-monkey," he muttered to himself, and opened his locker, pulled out his shirt -what the hell, where did _that_ hole come from?-, tugged it over his head, and grabbed his phone, as it was about to fall to the floor, and flicked it open.

He grinned as he saw the single text.

Crazy girl.

* * *

**From: Stud  
To: kiddo  
hey babe. what's up?**

* * *

Ino grinned at the vibration that erupted from her precious Blackberry. She looked at it and grinned; and then she looked at the time and figured he was still at work... Possible. Well...

She drove along on the freeway, looking for a the next exit because the freeway was just not being Ino's friend right now. Seriously - have people ever heard of staying home or something? It wasn't necessary to go out and cause such a traffic jam.

"Ughhhh," she groaned to herself, "today's not my day. Seriously... I need some happiness or something."

...Was that a _stain _on her red tube-top?! Oh god, Ino wanted to bitch at something as of right now.

WORLD, BEGONE!

* * *

**From: kiddo  
To: Stud  
just left the mall... i got a whip.**

* * *

While Kiba waited for his pretty girl to text him back (_You're **so** fucking' WHIPPED, man, it's fuckin' **degrading**, I can't believe I **know** you_, Suigetsu muttered in a bothered voice, in his head - it was totally normal, this was _Suigetsu_ he was talking about!), he finished getting changed.

He grabbed his leather jacket, slipped it over his shoulders, grabbed his cell and his wallet, and then slammed the locker closed.

Kiba headed outside (he was almost tempted to stop, and yell at one of the many peon-underlings; but he figured Shikamaru already had it well in hand - Shikamaru was a hundred times more anal retentive then Kiba ever had the energy to be), and headed straight to his car - his baby was finally back to it's normal, wonderful, _working_ shape. He unlocked the driver's side door, slid in, and settled back into the comfortable, well-worn seat.

* * *

**From: Stud  
To: kiddo  
..._kinky_.**

* * *

Ino was _finally _out of the freeway and down the starting point of Market. She hummed tot he slow-beat song playing on the radio as she drove slower than she was actually accustomed to. She was still finding something to do... Something to bump her back to her flaily self because her being like _this_ - all anxious off of nothing was just not done. Not done _at all._

Honestly! Since when are Saturdays known to make someone depressed off of nothing!? Since when are Saturdays boring?!

Never!

It was just not done!

She chewed on her lower lip and tapped her fingers to her steering-wheel, completely ignoring the lustful looks men were throwing down at her. Seriously, pedophiles, much? Ino was beginning to lose hope on this day when suddenly she received a text from that sexy guy she was going crazy about.

...Duh, Ino! Maybe she could meet up with him!

* * *

**From: kiddo  
To: Stud  
i knew you'd think that. ;) heyyyyy, i'm bored wanna meet up?**

**From: Stud  
To: kiddo  
when and where?**

**From: kiddo**  
**To: Stud**  
**today. maybe right now. and i don't mind where.**

**From: Stud**  
**To: kiddo**  
**wanna grab a coffee? the magic bean in ten?**

**From: kiddo  
To: Stud  
i'm there. see ya! hughugkiss.**

* * *

Kiba slammed the clutch into reverse, and pullled out of the parking lot at work. He hit the gas, and headed towards The Magic Bean - because, hell, he missed Ino. And he wasn't Suigetsu - it didn't _hurt_ him to admit him that he actually _cared_ about a girl.

October was a dreary month.

But, still. A whip.

A dirty grin flickered across Kiba's lips.

Well, there were _lots_ of things they could come up with, to do with whips...

* * *

Ino made a left turn on the next intersection, her speed picking up because _hell yeah _did she miss Kiba. It was crazy! Like, not seeing him kinda made her yearn for him and.... It was so weird. But she liked this weird. She's never felt this kind of weird.

So whatever, she'll go with it - not like it'll end up blowing in her face or something.

Seriously.

So she drove off towards The Magic Bean, the road towards the place already becoming as familiar as the smile-wrinkles on her daddy's face. Inwardly, she was flailing, almost counting the _seconds _till she was there and ready to meet him.

...Did she look good? She spared a glance at herself, the red tube-top (STAINED. STAIIIIIINED.), some dark blue skinnies (the fashionable ripped kind, thanks) and some red flats with gold trimmings. Yeahhhhh, she looked amazing. But, not trying to be vain... when _didn't _she look amazing?

At that, Ino smiled - eyes glittering when The Magic Bean came into view.

* * *

Kiba skidded into The Magic Bean's parking lot, threw open the car door, jumped out, clicked the lock shut, and went to find Ino. Her car was already parked, so he figured she'd be inside.

As he slipped through the glass door -the bell jungled above him-, he shot a glance around the whole place. Everything still looked the same - the steamy windows, the cappuchino machines whirring and hissing behind the counter, the odd little knicknacks, the dusty red brick; still the same. A grin quirked Kiba's lips up. He liked that this place was simply constant, resistant to change.

Yuugao was behind the counter, and he shot her a look. "Hey, Yuugao. Have you seen-?"

And then Kiba was almost bowled over by a fast, blonde blur.

* * *

"Hi!" Ino managed to greet, her head nuzzled on the crook of his neck. He smelled so good, it was quite addicting.

But you know what caused her to giggle? It wasn't Kiba's hands automatically wrapping around her waist or the rumble in his chest - it was the dejected looks all those guys that were giving her The Look had that made her giggle. Seriously? They thought a girl like her was single?

Ha.

Taking Kiba's hand, she dragged him to Their spot, a grand smile on her lips. "I'm so glad you got here, I was close to taking out the whip and whipping all these pervs."

* * *

Kiba snorted, and sent a slow, menacing glare around to all the other people in the Bean. Seriously, it was one of those "Back the fuck off, she's _mine_," looks, and Kiba wasn't going to deny the fact that he did _not_ like the way those _things_ were looking at his girl.

"That whip better stay hidden, kiddo, or I might just get jealous," he told her, and kissed the top of her head.

As he and Ino sat down, he shot a glance over at Yuugao. She stood at the counter, raised an eyebrow at him and just smiled, and started to make a couple of raspberry cappuchinos. Oh, that kid was _so_ going to _owe_ her.

* * *

Ino's grin transformed into a smirk. A _seductive _smirk, that is.

"But," Ino said, scooting her way closer to Kiba, "I like it when you're jealous; it's a turn on."

She swallowed her giggles as she watched him grin. Next thing Ino knew, she was being kissed and everything became completely unnecessary. Seriously, once in Kiba's arms, the world could only be five minutes away from self destructing and she'd be okay with that.

Which is stupid, weird, and utterly ridiculous. But it was the truth.

"Besides," she murmured against his lips, "I bought the whip specifically for _you_."

* * *

Kiba nipped her lip, and pulled her a little closer. "Damn straight, it's mine, kiddo."

And it probably would have progressed how it usually did, had Yuugao not brought their coffees over, and told them both rather frankly "Children, please, this is a public place. Keep it in the bedroom, yes?"

Kiba shot the purple-haired barista a glare - it looked like it didn't even affect her, but then again, she _was_ Yuugao, and she _had_ a good portion of her life helping Hana make Kiba's life hell. She flipped him the bird, and headed back to the counter.

Instead of doing something _else_ to piss Yuugao off, Kiba looked down at Ino. "So how's your life?"

* * *

Ino hummed, closing her eyes and allowing the steem of her coffee to warm her face up.

"Life," she murmured, "is a party, and I'm the VIP."

She flashed her eyes open and gave her kinda-but-who-knows-boyfriend a sweet smile. "Oh, by the way, Karin's throwing a Halloween party - you're coming... right?"

* * *

Kiba tilted his head down at her, and raised a dark eyebrow. "A Halloween party, huh? Would I have to dress up?"

The look Ino gave him told him more then he needed to know.

Kiba could only groaned.

"What would I even dress up _as_?" he asked her, rather seriously. Because what the fuck, what the hell do guys even dress up as?

* * *

She shrugged and grinned, "I don't know - just let your imagination run wild, babe." She blinked and as an after thought she added, "Just don't go as a vampire, because I might just pretend I don't know you."

Ino had the decency to laugh when she caught Kiba's disgusted face.

He could only look disgruntled, and growled "Vampires got gay when Robert Pattinson decided to sparkle. Just - no. No. Never. _Fuck_ no. Christ."

Ino was stiffling giggles, and she hugged him. Kiba wrapped his arm around her, and reached to sip his drink.

He was _so_ whipped.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Hinata was really just going to kill everyone else. They'd all run off, and it was _rude_.

Instead, she shot a glance at Sakura - the girl was eyeing the Hallowe'en outfit she'd bought, a look of slight distaste on her face.

"Sakura, wh-where to, now?" Hinata asked, softly, with a smile on her lips. Well, they were at a mall. What sort of trouble could they get into, like, really?

* * *

Sakura loved music. She was the girl when, upon the tragic death of her parents to the rush of Christmas ornaments, had picked up her mom's old acoustic and started quietly learning to play C-chords and F-chords (barre chords suck like nothing else in this world but straws and Sai). Karin, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata had to tear the instrument out of her arms and only gave it back when she cried in earnest.

Some people loved drugs, other loved drinks.

Sakura loved _music_. It was her drug. There was nothing in Sakura's world that was quite like music. Nothing else could bring her up when she was flat on the ground. Nothing else could make her cry like a baby after her graduation, which had been surrounded by everyone she loved (not her parents, because no one can bring back the dead, but she tried not to think about that).

So her choice was obvious.

She dragged Hinata to Muse-ic.

* * *

Hinata groaned as Sakura immediately headed towards the nearest music place - Sakura _oriented_ herself around the music stores in any mall she entered.

So Sakura had slipped her arm into Hinata's, and had promptly headed straight there. Hinata didn't even fight it - honestly, when Sakura got like this about her music, it was better to just let it go, and let the crazy rosette do what she wanted to do.

It was really no wonder that Sakura was so consistently broke - she bought all her music in CD format; she maintained that it was the only good way to get music, and that the only thing that topped CDs was vinyl (Hinata hated to agree, but it was true).

As they walked into the store, an old Beatles song washed over Hinata, and she started to smile.

* * *

Humming happily to herself, Sakura skipped to the back of the store. The discount rack was kept far from the front, but considering Ino would force her to buy a costume, she had to go for discount instead of the new CDs. She ignored the pull that the new Sum 41 had on her. If she had even the _slightest_ glimpse of it, she wouldn't be able to keep herself from buying it.

And she kind of liked her shoulders the way they were, without the crescents Ino's fingernails bore into them when she gripped and shook her when she was in an upset tizzy.

So she focused on the rack of CDs, gasping as she saw the old Metro Station CD (hers had gotten lost on a trip to Suna) and a rather old copy of Sugar Ray's _Lemonade and Brownies_.

"I've hit the motherload," she sung underneath her breath.

* * *

"I wanna hold your haaaand..." Hinata hummed-sang, as she rifled through the lines of vinyl, her voice soft and high. She was perfectly happy to stay in the back of Muse-ic, where all the old vinyls were kept, and sit there, on the floor, ignoring the rest of the world. This was normally Sakura's position, but Hinata figured that she kind of had a claim on it, too.

As she walked past a line of really horrible posters (_"Really? Sparkly vampires? Please. Get a life. Or go drown yourself. One or the other. Preferably the other._" - Hinata unsuccessfully tried to shut the Karin in her head up), Hinata turned her face, and stared up at the ceiling. The glass sun roof let in the light of the setting sun, and the whole place was ablze with red sunlight. It was really very lovely.

Hinata actually wasn't watching where she was going.

And she walked straight into someone. That someone was a lot bigger then she was. _Crap_.

Hinata ended up sprawled on the floor, staring up at... someone.

Someone who looked suspiciously like Sakura's future-boyfriend-person.

Hinata had a very strange urge to giggle. Oh dear. This was about to get interesting.

* * *

Applying for a job at Muse-ic was the best thing that Sasuke had ever done.

It was his haven, like, seriously. The people that whined and detested their jobs? Yeah, _idiots_. Sasuke liked being here. Music always blasting from the speakers that hung up on the walls, CD's and vinyls and headphones and...god, the vibe was just what Sasuke yearned for.

Even the uniform was good - black polo with red trims; Sasuke usually used a long sleeved under shirt under it.

Anyway.

Right.

Back to the present.

It was Fairy-Girl. And she bumped into him. And now she was on the ground.

Huh.

Raising his eyebrow, he pulled her up with one hand rather effortlessly. "Yo."

* * *

Hinata blinked at him.

Was he, like, being _nice_? That was _so weird_.

She dusted her skirt off, and tilted her head up at him. Stupid tall person - why was everyone so much _taller_ then she was? _It was an outrage_. She pushed her bangs out of her eyes, and smiled at him. Well, he _was_ Naruto's best friend - it _did_ make sense that he'd be at least a _little_ bit pleasent, on some level. Naruto wouldn't be friends with someone who was a bad person. It wasn't in his nature.

"Wh-what are you d-doing here, Sasuke-san?"

* * *

Fairy girl was as short as Sakura was. He had to look down at her if he wanted to talk to her "face to face"; it made him inwardly snicker at being around such a short person. Normally, he was... Well, he was short, too, he vehemently confessed. What, with Naruto being taller than him - _Naruto_ of all people; Hyuuga and the Mutt, he might understand... but _Naruto_?

Seriously.

What the hell happened there.

"I work here," he said shortly, indicating to the box filled with CD's he had dropped to help her up. "What are _you _doing here?"

Hinata... He could handle Hinata. But not the blond... Or Suigetsu's new friend. Oh, dear god, and he could _never _handle Hyuuga's psycho-friend. Hinata, he could handle, though.

And maybe Sakura, but that didn't count. At all.

* * *

Hinata shrugged.

"We were sh-shopping for H-Halloween stuff. And then the o-others ditched us, so S-Sakura and I ended up coming he-here. I-I think she w-wanted to pick up some new CDs..."

She watched him stiffen at Sakura's name. Dear god, all ice-cubes were the same - Neji did that _exact same thing_ when Tenten was mentioned (albeit, Neji's had a flavour of terror to it that Sasuke's didn't. Hinata knew Tenten could be one scary bitch when she wanted to be).

"S-She's over by the bargain CDs, i-if you w-want to talk to her," Hinata offered, and watched his eyes dart to where Sakura was standing. He must not have seen her, before.

And, please. Hinata knew want when she saw it. And, dear god, did this boy _ever_ want her old friend.

Hinata just smiled, and moved out of his way.

* * *

Sasuke stared at Sakura for a few more seconds before one of the many voices (that thankfully were none of his friends') in his head finally growled at him to _stop_. Sakura was just some girl he's met with more than once.... and kissed more than once, as well.

That is all.

Seriously.

"I don't want to talk to her," he said, turning back to look at Hinata with his blank face.

He stared at Hinata as she stared at him back; her expression said "Save it for someone who's stupid enough to believe that."

Sasuke hated the world.

* * *

"Yo-you're a very bad liar, Sa-Sasuke-san, I-I hope you know t-that," Hinata told him pointedly.

She stepped behind him, and gave him a gentle-but-firm shove in the oblivious Sakura's direction. Really, Hinata had no want to tolerate spinelessness - she had enough of that on her own, thank you, and it ticked her off to epic proportions when it came from other people.

"What the hell are you _doing_?!" he hissed at her.

Hinata's gaze got steely, and that stupid stutter disappeared. As much as she hated it, it _did_ often go away at convienient times (it would come back later with a vengence, but for now... well, this mattered more). She hissed "_Go. Talk. To. Her._"

"I'm... _working_. I can't... _socialize_."

Hinata simply _stared_ at him.

"I said _go_, Sasuke-san. I didn't give you a choice."

* * *

Sasuke cowered.

Dear Kratos (gotta love God of War), he _cowered_. _This _was The Dobe's girlfriend? This... this... _monster_? Sasuke went stiff and stared at her. "Can you just call me _Sasuke_? I hate 'Sasuke-san'."

Never in his life had he ever changed a subject - okay, so he had, but this was... god. Sasuke officially disliked his job.

Hinata continued to stare at him, her expression never changing. Sasuke groaned, growled and a second later he stalked off with the box of CD's.

His direction: Sakura.

* * *

Hinata smiled to herself in a very satisfied manner.

There, that was better. Sakura would invite Sasuke to the Halloween party (because Hinata knew her friends, and she _knew_ Sakura had a thing for Sasuke), and then they'd start to work out the eight million and one issues they had with each other. Of course, it wouldn't be the _end_ of those issues -there would probably _never_ be an end to those issues- but it would certainly be a start.

And so Hinata went back to rifling through the shelves of old vinyls like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa**: so i'm pretty happy, yeah? make a wish, ladies and gents, it's a shooting star!  
**sonya**: i like biking & sushi. does anyone else want beachtime? love you allllll.  
**les**: lookin' at, lookin' at, lookin' at me. look at that, look at how they lookin' at me. eyes all sticky like honey on bees. so... yeah. hi. hello.


	19. how to not let life pass you by

ASDFGHJKL. so. like. hi. super long chapter, man. (read: if i hear _any_ whining about our update schedule, i'm going to lose it. we clear?)  
**disclaimer**: haha.  
**dedication**: to being bee-eff-effs, even when all it comes down to is really, _really_ late nights. because that's kind of all that matters. oh. and mochas / hot chocolate. those are pretty kick-ass, too.

* * *

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* * *

Karin smiled around at her house.

The place was _transformed_. There was absolutely nothing left of the pale-yellow-on-white colour scheme Karin's mother so loved - the walls were dark and ghoulish, the windows were covered in black-out curtains, there was a _graveyard_ where the formal living room used to be, and generally, the place had been turned into the quintessential Haunted House.

And Karin could only smirk triumphantly.

She turned to look at Suigetsu, staring around at the finally-changed house with something like bemusement. It was like he wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

"What?" she inquired, but she already knew what he was going to ask. He opened his mouth to say something, stopped, closed it, looked around the room, looked back at her, and then opened his mouth to say something.

She cut him off with a smile. "My mom's always loved holidays. Something about the magic of them makes her happy, I guess. Holidays -doesn't matter which one, really- were always fun, when I was a kid. Christmas and Hallowe'en were her favourites, so there's the most decorations for those two. I think we did pretty good."

* * *

Suigetsu listened rather quietly as she told him one of her Facts of Life. He never really knew how to react to these kinds of conversations, let alone one that included Karin's parents; they were people that Karin never really mentioned... And... it was just freaky.

He nodded his head and slumped his shoulders, not having the heart to say anything crude like he usually did. He ran a hand through his silver-white hair and looked around again. Suigetsu vaguely (pfft, who was he kidding? The memories were as bright as day) remembered Halloween; how in the earlier years, his father would take him and his brother out through out all the neighborhoods, filling up bags upon bags of candies and then they'd go back to their awaiting mother who'd fight for the candies she wanted.

And then he remembered when his father and his brother left and it was just him and his mother. He'd remember how she'd take him trick-or-treating, sometimes demanding candies for herself as well. And then they'd go to the mall where there was a DJ blasting music while kids trick-or-treated around the stores... And then he remembered how it suddenly stopped. How, instead, he'd make sure his mom was safe and asleep before he'd leave with Kiba and Sasuke and Naruto and Neji and they'd go to the graveyards and see who chickened out first. Or how they'd tepee houses, maybe even egg them or maybe even both.

Suigetsu didn't like to remember, though.

So, mentally shaking his head he turned back to Karin, "I'm hungry, Toots, feed me... And then I want my reward."

* * *

Karin wrinkled her nose. All he ever thought about was food, the stupid idiot. And he _would_ remember that there was a reward associated with his help.

It was Suigetsu. Of _course_ he would remember that part of the deal.

Karin smiled delicately. "You are _incorrigible_. What do you want to eat? Please remember, I am not a maid at your constant disposal, and I'm _way_ bitchier, and if you piss me off enough, I may just have to dump a pot of ice-cold water over your head while you're asleep."

Suigetsu blinked at her. "What did I do now? All I asked for was food. And I want something fast - like.... ramen. Or maybe some of those grilled cheese sandwiches you make."

Karin rolled her eyes heavenward. "Nothing, silly. You're just rude. Grilled cheese or ramen, take your pick, because I'm not making both, and after you nearly set the house on fire, I'm not letting you touch a stove again until we've got a proper fire extinguisher, hm-yes?"

* * *

He controlled the blank face as he took the few steps he needed to be right in front of her. She was still glaring and pouting and she huffed and looked away; Suigetsu smirked and wrapped is arms around her, his face now buried in her neck and he nuzzled the sensitive skin.

"C'monnnn," he murmured, "if I'm well fed, I have more energy to do _stuff."_

"Since when do you need energy for _that_? You could fuck me in your _sleep_." He could already picture her face; an eyebrow raised, looking as if she was going to glare again, or maybe even give in. Suigetsu smirked.

"Huh," his smirk widened, "you know me so well. I kind of like that."

He heard her smirk as she said, "Whatever you say, Cowboy."

It's then that Suigetsu began to lead her to the kitchen.

* * *

"What the hell, when was the last time we stocked the fridge...?" Karin muttered, eyebrows crunched down into an annoyed line. Seriously. What the hell was this?

She sighed, backed away from the sad state of the fridge, and turned to look at Suigetsu. Her voice was teasing as she said "This was _your_ fault. _You_ are the reason there is never any food in this house."

Suigetsu just snorted.

Karin looked up at him, closed the fridge door, leaned back against it, and raised a single eyebrow. "We have to stock this fridge, mister. Otherwise, we are fucked for this party tonight."

He _smirked_. "I think you're going to get fucked anyways."

She stared him straight in the eyes, a smile almost tugging at her lips. "Yeah? Says _who_?"

His smirk grew in size, his canine peeking out from the corner of his mouth. He moved, like a predator, until he caged her against his body and the fridge, his arms slamming on either side of her head. And then, his face hovered, inches away from hers as he stared at her right in the eyes.

"Says _me_, Toots."

His smirk was still intact, even as she threw herself on him, smashing her lips against his.

* * *

.

.

.

The floor was surprisingly comfortable, Karin decided. She was slightly drowsy and quietly happy (getting laid always did that to her), tucked carefully in between Suigetsu's legs. She leaned back against him, and popped her neck. The resulting _crack_ had her smiling.

"Hey, Sui... how many places has this been, now?"

"Huh?"

"That we've fucked. Like, the counter-top there, your bathroom, _my_ bathroom, both our bedrooms, your couch, against my _fridge_..."

"Not enough, Toots. Quiet, now."

Karin just exhaled a soft sigh through her nose. She didn't have the energy to do anything more then lie back against him, and close her eyes. Huh, who knew that something as hard as the floor could be this _comforting_? It was _weird_.

"Don't move," she murmured to him. "You make a very nice pillow, and I like you. We'll stock the fridge... later."

* * *

"Shut up, you talk too much, lemme sleep--asdfghjl."

His eyes were shut as he leaned the back of his head against the fridge. He didn't move the strands of his hair out of his face, like he usually did, he was too lazy and too tired to do that. His arms instantly wove against each other, caging her against his chest.

Suigetsu's smirk widened as she curled up against him all the more.

...And then his stomach growled and his hunger came back one hundred times stronger.

"Kariiiiiin, I'm _hungry_."

* * *

There was a time and place for whining, and this was clearly it. Karin rolled her eyes beneath closed lids, and nuzzled her nose against his collar bone. She wondered how long it would be until he cracked, and let her alone to sleep.

"Suigetsuuuuuu, I'm _sleepy_. I'm not moving to make you food."

"Mooooove."

"Nooooooo."

"Mooooove."

"Nooooooo."

"Kaaaaaarin."

"Suigetsuuuu."

"C'mooooonnnn."

"Nooooooo, you're comfyyyyyyy."

"But I'm hungryyyyyyyyyyyy."

"But I'm comfyyyyyyyy."

"I'm going to dieeeeeee. And it'll be your fault, don't you caaaaare?"

"...Not really?"

"Shame on you then - who else is going to fuck you like I do?"

Oh, silly boy, he just _had_ to go there, Karin thought. And he couldn't do anything about the fact that she was trapped against him - hi, he was _keeping_ her trapped there. Karin smiled politely, and murmured against his collar bone "Who else is going to fuck you like _I_ do?"

Suigetsu rolled his eyes at that - he had _a lot _of girls on the sidelines; ones that he was neglecting at the moment for a certain redhead that broke his balls more than she should. But he wasn't going to say that to her - not because he was scared of getting slapped or whatever. More because if he got her mad, she wouldn't cook for him.

"Okay, right, sure. Can you move now? I'm going on a food hunt."

"I'm not moving - you're comfyyyyyy."

"Karin, I'm _hungry_. I'm like a fish without water when I'm not fed."

"...I can NOT believe I'm caving to this..."

Suigetsu smirked.

* * *

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.

.

* * *

Kiba rolled his eyes. He wasn't sure whether he ought to be scared, or amused. Ino was bouncing around next to him, fingers twined through his, and she looked fiercely determined. His pretty girl was intent on something, and Kiba wasn't sure whether he wanted to know what it was about, or not.

The two were outside, having just left the Magic Bean. They were headed... _somewhere_. Kiba had a sinking feeling that it probably had to do with that party that Ino wanted him to go to. It would make sense, after all - she had brought it up in the Bean, and Ino _did_ love to shop.

Silly girl. Kiba sighed, and looked down at her wheat-blonde head.

"Where're ya taking me, kiddo?"

* * *

Okay, so, she had had that fall-down in her high back at the mall with the girls, where she just didn't feel like shopping anymore... Well, now it was back, full force and her new victim was, not only very sexy, but completely clueless.

"We are going to my palace in which I am the princess."

Something gave her a hilarious feeling that Kiba's first thought was her house. Where her Daddy lived. Her Daddy which would stuff all the throw pillows in the living room down his throat. Her Daddy, the Overprotective Daddy. Her Daddy, the one who's Little Girl she is.

This made her want to stop and laugh her ass off - the kind of laugh that had you doubling over, hugging your stomach and slapping your thigh with one hand and wiping your tears with the other. Because, like, really, her house would be the last place she'd take him. She'd like to keep Kiba, thanks.

She led him towards his car, ignoring any other question he'd throw at her. When his most price possession (Ino had the decency to feel jealous) came into view, Ino slammed him against the front of it (gently, though, because, like, she thinks he'd cry if his car broke or something) and gently, playfully ran her pointer finger and middle finger up his chest - like a little guy going up to his prize.

Ino smiled at him playfully.

"Are you ready to see my palace?"

* * *

Kiba was not terrified.

At all.

"I'm not ready to die, kiddo, I hope you know that," he muttered, and slung an arm around her shoulders.

* * *

Ino had the decency to snort at that.

"Oh please, my Daddy is going to _love _you!"

Hey, might as well have fun in torturing someone, right? And who said Sweet, Flaily, Touchy-Feely, I-Have-My-Heart-On-My-Sleeve Ino wasn't sadistic? Like, hellooooo, she was friends with _Tenten _and _Karin_. Yeah, try to keep up here, man - she was just as bad as those two.

"Okay, we'll take your car, but then we have to come back to pick up... The Thing."

She kissed the tip of his nose and flailed to the passenger's door... and then waited for him to unlock the thing.

* * *

Kiba sighed, and slid into the driver's seat.

Okay.

So.

There was a high possibility that, if Ino was not kidding, Kiba was just going to get murdered. He would be mercilessly killed. Flat-out DEATH. Ino was an only child, and only _girl_, and Kiba knew that. And Kiba also knew the way fathers were.

After all, if Kiba ever had a daughter, Kiba was just going to kill any males that went near that little girl. Kiba knew the way boys were. And _fuck_ if he was going to let them anywhere _near_ his daughter.

"So where to, kiddo? I need directions, 'coz I've never been to your place."

* * *

She fought the urge to snort out loud and instead settled for doing it mentally. And rolled her eyes mentally, too.

Males.

Such dorks.

"Okay, well," she said, putting on her seatbelt, "get on the freeway, for starters."

Her blue eyes were entranced in watching him grip the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. God, she has never felt so happy in her life. She was an evil, evil little girl, yes she was. But then again, almost seventy percent of the princesses were conniving little bitches. Ino liked to think of herself as their leader.

Smiling widely, she patted his tense shoulder.

* * *

Kiba was tempted to shake her off.

But he didn't.

Christ, he was _so_ whipped.

* * *

God, he was _no _fun_. _No fun at _all._

Rolling her eyes, she began to bob her head.

"GET 'EM ALL, GET 'EM ALL, PACK IT ALL UP. STACK UP YOUR FUNDS LIKE A MILLION BUCKS. ACROSS THE POND, THEY ALL KNOW US, INTERNATIONAL - WHOA. DRIVING MY CAR TO A FOREIGN PLACE, LOOKIN' AT ME, NOW THEY KNOW MY FACE. WE WANT IT ALL NOW, WE GOT IT ALL, YES. LOOK AT THAT, LOOK AT HOW THEY LOOKIN' AT US."

Honestly, Ino blamed her random taste in music on Tenten; Tenten listened to Blink, The Beatles, Linkin Park, Sum 41.... and then she'd switch to 2Pac or Eminem. Seriously.

She had a broad grin on her lips as she continue to bob her head.

"Make an exit here, babe," she said after ten minutes.

* * *

Kiba blinked, and took the exit.

This was - weird. They weren't near the suburbs, and Kiba had been pretty sure Ino had lived in the suburbs...

Kiba shot a look at Ino.

The crazy girl was _smirking_.

...

Oh, _motherfucker_.

Using her innocent face was like second nature to her - what with all the things she's done behind her Daddy's back (she'd do it with his knowing if he weren't so overprotective). So, it was no surprise once her smirk was replaced by Hi I'm Innocent Love Me Please.

"A turn here," she said with a tone that was as light as a feather.

They were currently driving down the side of the big ol' mall. Ino continued on with her innocent facade, "Aaaaand make a right here."

And then they entered the mall's parking lot.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Tenten drove around the city, fast and kind of chaotic. But Tenten was everything fast and chaotic. So it was okay.

She didn't know where the hell she was going, but it wasn't like Tenten ever planned anything - she just went with the flow. So she made a right, a left, a right and then went straight again; she pumped up the volume of of the radio as it began to blast Shake Tramp, straight out of her iPod. She bobbed her head and grabbed her cellphone from it's place on the cup-holder.

Pursing her lip, she tried to figure out who to call or who to text... The light was in yellow, almost red - she sped up, going faster and faster and passing the street just as soon as it turned red. She sighed and opened her email account.

She'd hate it, but what the hell. Might as well.

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _NO SUBJECT FOR YOU._

Meet me in the park in ten, yeah?

DO IHTTTTT.

-Machete

* * *

Neji was hiding.

It wasn't the hide 'n' seek kind of hiding, where it's fun and you can find people by following the sound of giggles muffled behind hands that are a mite too small to completely smother them. He never played those games unless forced into submission by someone ridiculously scary.

Like Tenten.

But he was hiding _from_ Tenten and he didn't giggle.

He didn't even _laugh_ on a daily basis.

He didn't know what scared him more- the growing revelation that he cared for Tenten on some level or Tenten herself.

So he kept himself on radio silent, his phone off. Tenten only contacted him through text and if she saw him.

Therefore, as long as he kept his phone off and out of sight, he wouldn't have to worry.

He sipped his vanilla latte, enjoying the sun playing off his face as he sat in the park.

* * *

A very angry Tenten sucked on her lip-ring, her grip on the steering wheel slacking as a way to be able to drum her fingernails on it. See, she always knew Neji was very lame; she just never thought he was _this _lame.

She sighed and rolled her eyes.

Whatever. He wanted to be an ass, fine. It's not like she liked his company anyway! He was... like... the embodiment of killjoy. So she'll go to the park on her own _anyway _and play on the swings and the monkey bars and the slides and have fun and maybe make some new friends even if little kids annoyed her because it was alright because they were _so _much better to be around than _Neji_.

SO THERE.

So she drove Anko's car down the block until she finally arrived to the park. She parked the car, not noticing a familiar one close by, and walked towards the playground. She was so into her thoughts of killing one certain Hyuuga, that she missed said Hyuuga by a long shot.

She sat on the swings and began to swing back and forth, back and forth.

"I bet I can go higher than you," a little boy said from the swing next to hers.

Tenten smirked and narrowed her eyes, "You're on, kid!"

* * *

He could have sworn that he heard his ears prick up when he heard a somewhat familiar voice becoming rather... vocal. A cool breeze passed over him, his Gucci sunglasses became unnecessary as a cloud covered the sun, and his skin fairly _prickled_ with goosebumps.

Neji couldn't tell what the person was saying but he would be able to recognize the... _enthusiasm_ if he were deaf.

So this is what the apocalypse looks like...

About to stand up, he paused. Why was he even going to find her? Wasn't the point to stay away? Like those nature shows said, stay away from dangerous creatures.

But people always did say "Curiosity killed the cat" more.

* * *

She's never really liked kids. Never - they were annoying and they cried so much and they pooped even more and they were always so blubbery and messy and they pulled hairs and just.... No. Kids just weren't her thing.

But this little guy was alright. They were high up off the ground by now and he didn't even seem scared; if Tenten were to admit it, it actually seemed as if he _could _go higher than her. She laughed and the kid turned to her with a grin.

"I'm jumping," he called out.

"Me too!"

And then they jumped and they laughed when they both fell on their backsides. Tenten patted his head, "You're alright, kid. You're alright."

"You're not bad yourself, nee-chan!"

Tenten blinked at the name of endearment, waving at the kid as he left. She blinked and shook her head - what were the chances of her ever seeing the little thing again, anyway? She stood up and cleaned her clothes from any sand and made towards the swings again. But then she heard footsteps and, being the paranoid, curious person that she was... She froze and waited to see who was coming.

* * *

Nature shows had one rule for dealing with potentially dangerous creatures: **no sudden movements if you still want your head to be connected to your body at the end of the encounter.**

So Neji walked as sedately as he could towards her, hands stuffed as deep into the pockets of his black jeans. He tried to ignore the dark, frigid look she was giving him, but it didn't really work.

To tell the truth, he didn't get her. Not the slightest bit. He gave her what she wanted and he didn't really fight back. He paid attention to what she said and made a comment to prove the fact. He didn't _harass_ her and he let her get away with almost anything. _He had given her- _a crazy Anko-wannabe who is probably more dangerous than twenty nuclear bombs in free fall- _a __**gun**__, for heaven's sake_.

And she still treated him like chewing gum on the bottom of her size 5 Converses that are so bright they almost glow neon green in the dark. You know that kind of gum? The sticky chewing gum that doesn't blow bubbles really well and loses its flavor in nanoseconds? He felt like that. Like a piece of gum- a bug, really.

What else could he do?

Perhaps the answer to it was nothing, but if it was nothing, what could he do?

Neji wasn't the type that did _nothing_.

So he shrugged his shoulders in so that they looked almost like an extension of his chin, slouched down a bit, shuffled up, and was ready to stun her with his eloquence.

"Hey."

* * *

Tenten stared at him, her glare icy and hot all in one go.

He didn't answer her email. And when she tried to call him, his phone was off. He angered her - Tenten didn't understand _why_. He just did. Around him, she felt... she felt so claustrophobic, like if she was being stripped of her freedom. And Tenten valued her freedom so much.

He was so stiff and... and... stoic and impassive that he made _her _feel like that. And everyone knew Tenten was _nothing _like that. Tenten was wild and energetic.

"Hey."

Tenten raised a dainty eyebrow.

"Hello."

* * *

He cleared his throat.

She scared him with her wildness. The way she did whatever she wanted without giving a damn. It was more like he envied her "fuck you" attitude and the way she lived for herself.

Giving a cough, he said slowly, "Sooooo..."

Neji knew the look she was giving him. It was the "You have something to say so stop dawdling and say it, you fruit" look that she gave him a lot.

He wasn't _like_ her.

So, throwing all caution to the wind, he asked her a question.

He could only hope she didn't take it the wrong way.

"So how are things going with Anko?"

* * *

She shoved her hands into the back-pockets of her light skinnies. She nudged her head to the side, moving her overgrown blunt-cut bangs out of her eyes and stared at him for a good two minutes.

Neji was attractive, Tenten thought. His hair was longer than hers... hers was wavy and ends at the top of her shoulder-blades; his was under his shoulder blades. But it was so pretty, she actually wished to run her fingers through the strands and see if they were actually as silky as they looked (she didn't do it because he was Neji and she was Tenten and Tenten disliked Neji). His eyes, though the same milky-silver as Hinata, were pretty and... like, almost violetish. And....

She turned to stare at a tree.

"We're good. We get drunk everyday." Okay, so she said that just to see what he'd say, but still.

"That's.... good." She watched him avert his eyes again. "I'm glad you two are getting along."

Tenten nodded, "Yup... What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd find you here."

She shifted her weight from one leg to the other, crossing her arms in front of her chest in a defensive manor. "Oh... Well... Here I am..."

* * *

The mood was getting increasingly uncomfortable as they took turns staring at each other before looking away just when they got caught.

It was like a game of cat and mouse.

Coughing awkwardly, Neji asked, "Do you want a burger? Or a vanilla milkshake? My car's..." He gestured in the vague direction he thought his car was in instead of finishing his sentence.

Surprisingly, he actually _wanted_ to go to Luffy's with her...

* * *

She couldn't help but smile bashfully at him; and for that, she ducked her head low, just so he wouldn't see it. Something, an evil voice inside her head that sounded like a combination of Karin and Ino, told her that he already caught it.

"Um," she crossed her arms tighter around her chest and tried to make the smile go away. "No thanks, I'm not hungry."

...Suddenly her stomach rumbled and Tenten was now not only smiling bashfully, but blushing as well. She lifted her head and caught Neji staring at her, an eyebrow raised. And she giggled nervously.

"Okay, fine," she said. The bashful smile coming back. "We can go."

* * *

There was a glowing feeling spreading from somewhere around his stomach as Neji let go of a breath he didn't _quite_ realize he'd been holding. He suddenly felt the urge to- well, not _smile_ per se, but give her a somewhat... _happier_ look than usual.

He briefly wondered if he was coming down with something. It _was_ getting colder out and recently- like, in the last five minutes- he felt flashes of heat on occasion. For some reason, the... hot flashes, for lack of a better word, came whenever he looked at Tenten..

But he shook it off and waited for Tenten to reach him before setting out for his black Audi in the park's mini-parking lot on the east side.

Neji felt as if his and the brunette's relationship was finally going somewhere other than heading for the hills, but... progress is progress and he didn't want to go backwards. From what he'd learned of her, Tenten didn't really like a serious relationship. He would even go so far to say she was scared to death of them (probably because they symbolized some form of permanence).

So even as his fingers twitched to envelop her smaller hand in his, he restrained them and walked stiff armed.

Even if he thought it would feel _just right_.

* * *

Tenten sucked on her lip-ring, hazel-brown eyes looking around as they walked. She caught him being all stiff and it kind of made her feel stiff - she never really understood why that was. Whenever Neji was stiff, so was she. But if Neji was impassive or being a little prick and ignoring her - Tenten wished to just... just... _get his attention_. And that usually involved her making him feel uncomfortable by getting in his personal space...

...Since when did Tenten care about this?

This was _Neji_.

She turned to look at him and rolled her eyes... before a smirk came to her lips and she stopped walking. He hadn't noticed, though, and therefore kept walking which was precisely what she wanted - when he was a small distance away, Tenten ran.... and clung to his back; her arms snaked around his neck and her legs snaked around his waist and she laughed as he staggered.

Annoying Neji was so much fun to her.

* * *

For a second, he almost lost his balance completely, nearly sending them both into the hillside where he often saw dogs playing when he came to the park for a run or simply to read a book in the pleasant summer sun.

Fortunately, he had always been good adjusting to quick changes.

Grabbing her legs, he began to run. Neji could just _tell_ she was trying to irritate him, so he went with the classic advice: don't give them (whoever _they_ are) what they want. He could hear her whooping in the wind, eventually letting go of his neck and flailing all over the place.

He allowed himself a little grin as he slowed to a stop by his car.

* * *

"Oh my god," she squealed, ignoring how her hair was a mess. Since when did she care if her hair was a mess? "That was so much fun - let's do it again!"

He set her down, and as she turned to look at him she caught his serious look as he said, "Sure. In the next Olympics."

She just stared at him.

"Whenever you feel like asking to do it again," he added and Tenten rolled her eyes and grinned.

She walked towards the passenger's side of the car and waited for him to unlock the doors. Once he did so, she jumped into the seat (she already felt terribly comfortable in it, since she always has him taking her to places) and put on her seatbelt.

"I want a big, big milkshake, Neji," she said, showing him, with her hands, how big she wanted her milkshake to be, "And... and... and... with chocolate syrup and... Not nuts, I don't like nuts." She shook her head and turned to look at him. And... just because she was caught in the moment, she allowed herself to give him a smile.

* * *

She had a pretty smile.

Neji stopped the thought parade there because it was already leaning into a _horribly_ dangerous direction.

He ignored the fact he gave her a small shy smile in return before turning the keys and feeling the car silently thrum and hum beneath his feet.

"Okay, okay," he told her when he remembered what she had said about the milkshake. "Though I'm not sure they'd have a glass that big.

"So you might have to live with two or three of their large milkshakes instead."

He didn't add any of his other thoughts (i.e. _I'd do anything for you_) because they just weren't him. He wasn't Romeo, with silver words that fell off his tongue. He was more like a Darcy.

Girls _do_ like Darcy's, don't they?

* * *

As she thought about it, because, though Tenten was psychotic and sadistic, she didn't like disliking people - it wasn't Neji that she disliked... it was his way of being; his... it was hard to explain. But it wasn't _him_ - not his physical self. It was his _attitude_, to put it short.

She turned to look at the front, once again sucking on her lip-ring. "Karin's having a Halloween party tonight."

"Oh, yeah. I think Sasuke might have mentioned it," he blinked and then turned to look at her for a second before going to look back at the road, "Why?"

"You're coming, right?"

"...Are _you _going? ... Of course you're going." He went silent for some minutes before he said, "I guess so."

Tenten perked up, "Great!" She grinned at him and gave him a wink. "I'm gonna be a Lethal Ballerina - what'cha gonna be?"

"...I'm going to be a ninja."

Tenten turned to look at him, eyes shining with a new found respect. "You... are _amazing_."

* * *

Neji had kind of blanked when she had asked him what he was going to be.

A costume... Fucking Halloween...

So the next question was quickly answered: what did he have in his house that could make a costume. Black clothes & one of the practice katana in the dojo that _looked_ real but was really as sharp as a butter knife...

A ninja.

And so ends the oh-so-difficult process of picking a costume.

Returning to the present, Neji just gave her a smirk. "Thank you. You are too."

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Sasuke sighed as he neared Sakura.

She was still pretty much clueless - too caught up on the albums she was checking out. Sasuke couldn't blame her; he was exactly the same. So when he reached her side, and leaned the box of CD's on the stand-thing, he stared at her.

"Hey," he said, trying to not sound as awkward as he felt. But, god, The Dobe's girlfriend was scary and Sasuke didn't really want to get his ass whooped by that little thing. Seriously.

He watched her jump, lightly, and then snap her head towards him. Her green eyes were wide, but once she caught sight of him they went back to their normal size before they narrowed down. "What are you doing here? Are you stalking me?"

Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes. "Why would I stalk _you_? I happen to _work _here."

* * *

For the moment, Sakura decided to ignore his second sentence.

"Is there something wrong with me that would make it impossible for anyone to want to stalk me?" She knew she sounded kind of mocking, but she also knew that he knew that she was not really upset, just teasing.

"Hn."

Rolling her eyes, she still managed to smile at him. "So... you work here." A small plan was making itself known from the corner of her mind.

"Aa."

"Do you have employee discounts?" Coy smile, present!

* * *

He stared at her, a small smirk fighting it's way to dominate his lips. He shook his head and chuckled; Sakura was such a weird girl, he decided. Short and weird - he wondered how she'd managed to take a firm grip of his attention.

"Yeah," he said, "I do." And for the hell of it, he decided to tease her back, "Why?"

"Because there are so many CDs I want. How am I going to LIVE without my Marianas Trench CD?" She made a face that just _described _and _showed _her distress.

Sasuke took a couple steps back and cleared his throat. Suddenly, he smirked - that teasing smirk he rarely did. "Okay, I can give you a discount. But what do _I _get in return?"

He watched her chew on her lower lip as she thought of something. Finally she said, "How 'bout an invite to a friend's party? I promise it'll be worth your while."

A frown came to his lips as he thought back to 'Getsu's whining-texts and how he _demanded _he go because 'dude, if one of us suffers, we all have to suffer.' He shook his head. "I'm already invited, sadly."

"Then I guess I'll see you there." He stared as she gave him a wink.

Sasuke hid a gulp.

* * *

Swallowing a giggle at the almost-strangled look on his face (Sakura could just _tell_ he was trying to hide it), she gave him a sweet yet saucy grin. "So about that discount..."

She pulled out the Marianas Trench, Sum 41, Metro Station, and Sugar Ray CDs out from behind her back, fanning them out in front of her for his perusal.

Her foot nudged his foot to make sure she had his attention. She lowered her eyes when she knew Sasuke was looking at her.

"Sooo... what do you think?"

* * *

Sasuke dropped his box to the ground and picked the CD's out of her hands; he looked at the four covers and gave a nod (he was purposefully ignoring her look, because, fuck if Sasuke didn't want to just... just --).

"These are good," he nodded, "Sum 41's CD's, alright, tho'. I only liked about... two songs."

"Really," she took Sum 41's "Underclass Hero" and stared at it, considering whether to buy it or not. "Well, do you have any recommendations then?"

When she looked up at him, Sasuke instantly thought _my bed_, but then he bit his tongue before his mouth would utter that out. He cleared his throat again and looked away. "Do you have their old ones? 'All Killer No Filler', 'Chuck', 'Does This Look Infected?' - those are awesome."

He backed away, once again, when she gave him a scandalized look. "Of course! What kind of person would I be if I didn't?!"

Sasuke coughed awkwardly, and then shrugged, "Alright, then just get this one. Then you'll have all their CD's. Besides - your taste is different than mine."

* * *

"Do you have a back room? With, like, more CDs?"

She tossed her most innocent look possible.

"Are you looking for a specific one?"

"Well... I wanted to find that old 3 Doors Down CD. The one with 'Be Like That'? I lost mine."

"You seem to lose a lot of CDs."

Sakura flushed. "Well, I'm sorry that I can't remember where I put absolutely everything. Just help me find the damn CD.

"Please."

Yelling at herself on the inside, she _pouted_.

* * *

He rolled his eyes and grabbed the damn box that had become more of a nuisance than he'd like. "Alright, alright. Just... don't do that face - c'mon."

Sasuke led her towards the backroom, looking around at the littering people inside Muse-ic. When they got to the back room, he tossed the box filled with CD's aside and then turned towards her, stuffing his hands inside his skinnies' pockets.

"Okay, there's some boxes over there," he nudged at a stack of boxes. And then, as if he realized that she might not be able to unstack them, he went over to help her. He grabbed the one at the top and set it down, then grabbed the other and did the same until they were all on the ground where Sakura could crouch and see.

And she did just that.

Sasuke caught himself staring more than he would have liked.

* * *

A smile curved itself on her face and she found herself enjoying the fact that Sasuke- who she could never forget was kind of ridiculously pretty and handsome and attractive and- _there wasn't really a way to put it._ Anyway, she could feel him looking at her. Paying attention to her.

It was funny how something so _simple_ could make her feel so... wanted.

She had never felt like this with Sai.

Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she looked at him with a frown. "And these are organized _how_?"

* * *

Sighing, Sasuke moved to crouch next to her, his hands grabbing a box and bringing it closer to him. He tried to ignore the sudden urge to just... just... he just ignored that urge, okay? Because, seriously - he was at _work_ and.... stuff. Yeah.

"They're not really organized... not yet, at least. You just have to have patience." He began to run his fingers through the stacks, picking some up, scanning and then setting them aside.

"I never knew Muse-ic was so unorganized."

"Sakura, there's a reason why they're in the back room right now." He rolled his eyes and turned to look at her with an eyebrow raised. "Besides, what's your hurry?"

* * *

"It's a _Halloween _party."

Sakura put a rather heavy emphasis on the word "Halloween". Seeing his raised eyebrow, she gave a frustrated sigh.

"It means costumes galore. And if I don't find mine, Ino is gonna be _super_ pissed.

"And if it isn't anything... well, _somewhat revealing_, she's going to shank me."

Misinterpreting his look, she nodded. "She _will_ shank me. Faster than you can say, 'disestablishmentarianism'."

* * *

"You. Showing off some skin. Huh."

Sakura stared at him for a second and Sasuke almost managed to groan aloud as she said, "I can give a demonstration right now."

It took him a second. First, he was incredibly still - so still, you'd confuse him for a statue if it weren't for his breathing. Then he blinked and... almost instantly his need to tease back came and he turned to her, a smirk on his lips and an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah? I might just take you up for that, because I don't really believe you."

* * *

She was almost angry.

She _knew_ he was testing her.

She _knew_ he wanted her to be less than active but more than passive.

She _so fucking knew he was teasing her_.

'Can't put Baby in a corner' and all that jazz, right?

She knew everything as she quickly almost _dove_ forward and pushed Sasuke down on his back.

Perching over him, she smirked and leaned forward. Just short of their lips touching, she whispered, "Do you believe me now?"

Then _she_ kissed _him_ and somewhere, in the extreme depths of her mind, Sakura felt her mind depart under his drug-like effects. He had probably had had her heart a long time ago, but she didn't think about that.

She just thought about the moment.

* * *

Sasuke had been clueless as to what she was going to do to him just as soon as she pushed him to the floor. When he had leaned his head upwards, all he saw was her, and how her pink hair served as a curtain and then she whispered something but Sasuke was far too drugged by then to actually listen.

And then she was kissing him and he was kissing her and... Fuck, if he didn't like it.

He liked it. He liked it _a lot. _Too much, maybe.

He didn't care though. Because all that was important right now was the motion of their lips against each other and how their tongues--

Sasuke managed a low groan before he switched their positions and _he _was hovering above _her_. Her arms instantly came up and snaked around his neck, and Sasuke nipped at her lower lip. He all but lost it when he heard that soft, soft, soft barely audible gasp-sigh-moan that she always gave off.

And suddenly their kiss became fiercer; as if they were trying to dominate the other. Sasuke didn't quite remember what happened after that.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Naruto was sitting in front of his computer.

God, did he hate having essays to write. He hated them _so badly_. Like, seriously - what was up with these people and giving essays to write about every little thing they read-talked about during the lecture?! His feelings about that book? Yeah, it was utterly lame and it made him want to sleep or slit his throat. No, he didn't quite connect with any of the characters; they were all a bunch of douches and Naruto was kind of _awesome_.

Seriously.

Like, it was _Halloween_. He was supposed to be getting ready for the night! The thrill! The candy! The fun!

Not the babes, tho'. Because Naruto had his Hinata-chan and she was very pretty and he liked her a lot. Like, seriously.

Sighing, he got up, rubbed a hand down his face and made his way to the kitchen. His mother was there, off for the rest of the afternoon so she could hang out with Mikoto and maybe, he wasn't sure, Tsume. She was washing some dishes as he arrived and sat on the island.

"Maaaaaaaaa. That essay's being a jerk."

Kushina turned to look at him and rolled her light eyes, "Naruto-kun - you just have to write it, god."

"But the book was _boring_! I mean, a while ago, when me and Sasuke-teme were reading it in my room - he fell _asleep _with the book over his face. Since when does Sasuke-teme do that? That's how boring it is, Ma!"

By then, he was flailing his arms around and looking completely wild. Kushina snorted at him and went back to doing the dishes. "Maybe you just need some food - want some ramen?"

Naruto perked up at that, "Yes!"

Laughing, Kushina went to boil some water; Naruto watched her for a second before he fished his cell out and sent that Pretty Girl he was crazy for a text.

**

* * *

**

**From: Naruto-kun**  
**To: Hina-chan**  
**hiiiii, hinata-chan! ;)**

* * *

Hinata was sitting outside Muse-ic, sitting on the squishy chairs that were sitting in the middle of the mall hallway (you know, those wonderfully squishy leather chairs that were just, well, _wonderful_), happily browsing through the CDs she had just paid for. There was the bag that had her fairy costume (the beautiful, filmy _short_ skirt still scared the life out of her) in it sitting next to her - Sakura had refused to buy the stupid doctor costume, even tho' Hinata _knew_ that they would end up going back and getting it anyways.

The mall was nice on days like this, Hinata thought.

The sun was filtering in through the glass ceiling, the mall was mostly (okay, not completely, but _mostly_, and that was what _counted_) and it was just _nice_.

Hinata's phone, cradled in her lap, beeped happily at her, and she blinked down at it.

Who on earth would be texting her?

Naruto.

Oh.

_Oh._

_Flush_.

* * *

**From: Hina-chan**  
**To: Naruto-kun**  
**Omai. Uh. Hi! Uhm. How are you?**

* * *

Naruto was in the process of devouring his ramen (it was always best when his mom made it, seriouly) when he received a text and it was almost automatically that his brain said _Hinata-chan_ and it was almost instantly that his hand dropped the fork and instead reached for his iPhone.

He was grinning as he reread the message.

He found it completely adorable how she managed to flush even through texts and emails.

So into the thought of that pretty girl of his, Naruto didn't even notice his mother staring at him with a knowing look.

**

* * *

**

**From: Naruto-kun**  
**To: Hina-chan**  
**i'm fine! how are you? d'you wanna hang out tonight? IT'S HALLOWEEN.**

* * *

....Was he asking her _out_?!

ASDFGHJKL.

Hinata half started texting "No, I'm totally free tonight," back to him... but-but-but... Hinata _also_ knew that Karin would absolutely rip her throat out if she missed the stupid Halloween party. It wasn't anything personal; it was just the truth. Karin was just crazy like that.

So Hinata just sighed.

Well, Karin's _did_ want as many people as possible to come...

**

* * *

**

**From: Hina-chan**  
**To: Naruto-kun**  
**Actually, I'm, uh, kind of... going to a party, tonight. Uhm, d'you, uh, maybe want to come? It's at Karin's house..**

* * *

"WATAY?!"

"Naruto-kun, what have I said about talking with your mouth full?"

Naruto swallowed and apologized, like a child caught with his hand inside the cookie jar. He wiped his hands on his jeans and then flailed towards the sink, and discarded of his empty bowl. He was in the process of flailing back to his room before Kushina's heated stare reminded him that he had to wash his dishes.

Grumbling, he did so - hastily, but it was cleaning nonetheless. After that, he practically flew to his room.

**

* * *

**

**From: Naruto-kun**  
**To: Hina-chan**  
**party?! i love parties! i'll go... d'you, like, want to go together?**

* * *

Hinata comfortably sat back, and waited for Naruto to text her back. He _always_ texted her back. _Always_. It was so adorable; Hinata wasn't used to the kind of attention Naruto was bound to lavish on her. It made her smile uncontrollably.

Actually, _everything_ about Naruto made Hinata smile uncontrollably. It was easy, for Hinata, to sit next to him, and just _talk_. She wasn't normally like that - talking, that is. Being in his presence was easier then breathing. He was silly, and gave smiles and happiness away easily, and Hinata... she just - she just -

There were no words for how much she appreciated Naruto's unfailing kindness.

(And so he made her swoon a little bit. And that really had everything to do with everything.)

**

* * *

**

**From: Hina-chan**  
**To: Naruto-kun**  
**I - I'd really, really like that. Uh, want to meet there at, uhm, seven, maybe? Or earlier? Or, uh... what?**

* * *

It was all Naruto could do but jump up on his bed and just... _fidget _as he waited for her to text him back.

Hinata made Naruto seriously happy.

Like, he'd never met anyone like her - he'd been with, dated, a lot of girls, most of them whose name he'd forget five minutes after meeting them. But, Hinata was completely different - she made Naruto actually _see her_. Be _aware _of her. Want her to _see _him. And _be _with him.

He liked being with her, liked being around her. He wished he could keep her forever - not as a pet, or a prize, or a trophy... but like... like...

Naruto blushed and grumbled some things to himself.

**

* * *

**

**From: Naruto-kun**  
**To: Hina-chan**  
**how about i pick you up at your house? i mean, if that's okay with you...**

* * *

Hinata stared down at the text, and flushed bright red.

There was actually nothing to say other then "yes".

**

* * *

**

**From: Hina-chan**  
**To: Naruto-kun**  
**That - I'd really like that. Uhm, see you then, okay? :)**

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Suigetsu had a cup filled with Bacardi Razz and coke. It actually had more alcohol than soda, the way Sui liked his drinks to be. And he was having a blast.

He wasn't dressed as anything. Not Batman, or a zombie - nothing. He was plain Suigetsu, dressed in a black v-neck t-shirt, dark skinnies and black converses. He knew Karin was acting pissy for that - or, well, was... when he first got there. She was lost in the crowd by now.

Not that Suigetsu cared - he was too busy staring at the millions of girls dressed in skimpy Halloween outfits that, if they'd bent down, he could see _everything _they could offer. He smirked and took a nice, big gulp of his drink, his lips pursing as the liquid went down his throat.

His amethyst eyes followed a certain girl - she captured his attention from the star. There was nothing extraordinary about her; dark hair, light eyes, fair skin... nice boobs, nice ass, nice legs... Sui stared at her as she giggled and talked with her friends.

...And then she turned to look at him, a coy smile on her lips.

Suigetsu smirked at her and, with his eyes, beckoned her over. She did so, after her friends pushed her forwards with giggles and 'ohmygod, he's _pretty_'. She came to an abrupt stop right in front of him and Suigetsu's smirk widened.

He didn't even have to _try_, he knew she was already in his grip.

* * *

Karin actually honestly had no idea where she was. She did, however, know four things. They were four very important things, so Karin was obviously pleased with herself for knowing them.

One, she was very, very, very drunk. This was nothing new.

Two, she was not wearing much clothing. This was _also_ nothing new. It was Halloween, and she was dressed as a cop. Was there really any indication that she'd _be_ wearing clothes? (And anyways, clothes were over-rated.)

Three, she was surrounded by a sea of ridiculously attractive boys. This was not new, but pretty boys were always nice, even though Karin _did_ have a feeling she was doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing - flirting, because wasn't she dating someone, or something...?

And four, she had a pair of _handcuffs_. She was swinging them around the tip of her right index finger, around-and-around-and-around, in a dizzying circle that sort of made her giggle. And all the pretty boys that were around were eyeing her like wolves.

She was _probably_ going to regret this tomorrow. And it would _probably_ take her three or four showers of scrubbing her skin raw before she felt anything like clean. (Wasn't there someone who didn't make her feel dirty? He was - wait, who was he, again?)

But for right then...

Well, there was _alcohol_, right then.

Didn't that kind of trump _everything_?

* * *

Suigetsu had already gotten not only the nameless girl's number (what did she say her name was? Nami? Salami?) but her friends numbers, as well. He was smirking and flirting and just being the Suigetsu he was before he met... What was that girl's name again?

As he tried to remember, he made to drink more of his drink - that's when he realized the cup was empty. And that was not good, not good at all - he needed his booze, like, seriously.

"Excuse me," he muttered, moving the girl out of the way when she didn't even flinch. Honestly, stupid deaf people.

He marched towards the kitchen in search for something strong and amazing...

...He nearly froze when he caught red in a sea of black and light blue and cool gray and brown and blond and... Red... Red... Red...

Red hair, red eyes.

Suigetsu blinked and went towards the red. And when he neared, a feral growl escaped him as he saw a redheaded girl, dressed in a skimpy cop-outfit, surrounded by guys. Something told him that this red-haired girl was _not _supposed to be with all these idiots, but rather with him.

His ice-purple eyes narrowed.

* * *

Karin was smiling at the really pretty boy-with-dark-hair-and-blue-eyes on her right. Because, yum, he _was_ pretty.

She tossed her hair out of her face, and stood up. Her pretty red cup was empty of whatever it was that Ino -that blonde chick _was_ Ino right?- had given her, and that was simply unacceptable. A whistle erupted behind Karin as she stood, and the red-headed girl whipped her hair around, and shot a darkly seductive look over her shoulder, and made sure to swing the cuffs around again.

Eh, well, she _was_ getting laid tonight, and having them understand right from the start that _she_ was going to have her way completely was better than them _not_ understanding it, even though it was _clearly_ the case.

The room tilted a little crazily, and Karin took two steps before crashing to the floor in a cascade of laughter.

Three boys were helping her up, and Karin hadn't felt prettier in a long time.

* * *

Suigetsu saw red as he saw three _cock-suckers_ touching _his _woman (...that was _his _woman, right? Of course it was - these manly things never go wrong). He moved, then. Pushed some idiots out of the way, kicked others, shoved others.... Oh, oh...

...When he got to the ones that were _touching _her... he growled loudly until they turned to look at him. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her closer to him.

"_Mine_. Touch her again, and you'll _die_."

He heard her laugh behind him, but he ignored her and just continued to _glare _savagely at the idiots until the point was made and it stuck into their thick skulls and they _stayed away _from _his _woman. Some backed away almost instantly, others were lost and others wanted to put up a fight. But Suigetsu was a psycho when he was pissed; and he _was _pissed. And _drunk_.

Psycho plus drunk equals _chaos_.

Luckily, nothing happened, though, because Suigetsu's attention drifted to the idiotic girl that kept laughing off of nothing. He growled at the boys one last time before he dragged her away.

* * *

Who did this person think he _was_?

Okay, he was pretty, and vaguely familiar (Karin had a bad feeling she may have slept with him at one point; it wouldn't have been the first time), but, still. Karin did not appreciate being manhandled the way she was currently being manhandled!

...

But then Karin got a good look at his face, and through the drunken haze, only had a single thought: _Yow_.

He was _attractive_.

So Karin did what any rational (read: inebriated) girl would do. She nuzzled her nose against his throat, and carefully nipped at his earlobe. "You know," she murmured - and her voice was perfectly controlled, "I'm going to have to arrest you, 'coz you're not dressed up..."

* * *

Almost instantly did Suigetsu's scowl turn into a smirk, his arms brought the girl closer to him and allowed himself to bury his nose in her hair. Her hair smelt nice- it felt like he knew this scent, tho', he was too drunk to actually know what that scent _was_. But he knew it, he did.

His eyes snapped open when he felt a cool metal snap around his wrist. Breaking away from the good-familiar-smelling hair, he looked down at what the hell was around his wrist. He growled when he noticed it was a pair of _handcuffs_.

"What the hell, woman?"

He stared at her as she smirked, an eyebrow raised in a mocking manner... so he thought, at least.

"What," she said, "you don't _want _to be cuffed?"

Suigetsu blinked and thought about it. Handcuffed by a sexy cop. What was this sexy cop gonna do to him, he wondered. And then that made him smirk and decided that... it wasn't so bad, right?

"No, I _need_ to be cuffed," his smirk widened, "I've been a _bad _boy."

* * *

Karin just smiled a slow, dark, lazy smile, her glasses slipping down her nose.

"That's what I thought," she murmured again, and a low giggle slipped past her lips. Karin always giggled when she was drunk - she loved people, when she was drunk, and, really, he was just so pretty, and it wasn't like she was going to get in trouble (well, maybe she would be if SakuraHinataInoTenten found her, but for now, she was in the clear).

So Karin fisted her hand in his shirt, locked her handcuffs around his wrists, and was perfectly content to drag him, stumbling and barely able to stand straight, up the stairs.

The party?

Please.

Karin had better things to do.

* * *

Suigetsu had never been one to like being dominated - at least, that's what his brain was telling him.

But, this girl was _hot _and she made his heart beat faster, for some unknown reason... And she was _hot_. And she was a _cop_.

She could do whatever she wanted to him.

He vaguely remembered her pushing him inside a room (how the hell did he get to the second floor, yo?) or how he got handcuffed to a bed; but as he felt, and saw (his vision was blurry, tho') this red-haired, red-eyed girl who was very pretty and who smelled good climb on top of him...

...He decided that he should be a bad boy more often, if this was the punishment.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Kiba was holding a glass of scotch. He wasn't even close to buzzed. He stared out around the room over the rim of the glass of amber liquid, scanning the crowd for a familiar flash of blonde. It wasn't that there weren't plenty of hot chicks around - it was just that Kiba wasn't interested.

(He had a vague idea she'd ruined him for any other girl. Whatever.

He wasn't even sure if there was ever going to be another girl after her, anyways.)

And there she was. His summer girl; only, now, she was drenched in black leather and sex, and that _whip_. It took all of Kiba's not-inconsiderable self-control not to grab her, throw her over his shoulder, and drag her home where he could keep her safe from the dark looks she was getting.

For fuck's sake.

He put down the scotch, and headed in her general direction.

Silly Ino.

* * *

"YEAH, HI. YOU'RE VERY PRETTY."

Ino's blue eyes glittered as she looked around. There was so many pretty people here that glittered with every sexy fiber of their youthful being. No, she didn't even feel creeped out that she sounded like Gai-sensei. Because, like, she didn't know if anyone had noticed - but she was _drunk_. She honestly didn't even remember what she drank, but it was _good_. And-and-and... the drink Karin's new boy-toy had mixed up for her was _fabulous_ and oh, my - that girl was _pretty._

"OMAI. YOUR COSTUME MAKES YOUR BOOBS LOOK _FABULOUS."_

She took a big gulp of her drink - what was it again? Jack Daniel's? - and looked as a _very _pretty guy passed her by. Her blue eyes scanned him and she giggled, "HEY, YOU HAVE A NICE ASS, HUNK!"

Suddenly, arms wrapped around her waist from behind and a voice she knew and made her shiver said against her neck, "You better be talkin' about me, kiddo."

Ino giggled and leaned into his chest.

* * *

Crazy girl. Even clad in that black leather catsuit and oozing danger, Ino was still the most beautiful girl Kiba had ever had the fortune to touch.

"You're drunk, Ino," he murmured against her neck.

"Mhmm," she mumbled. Her pupils were dilated almost to the edges of her irises, and Kiba almost wondered whether she'd been smoking anything - but he knew she hadn't, because she was Ino, and that just wasn't Ino's style.

He pulled her away from the crowd of people, the pounding music making it hard for him to concentrate on little more then the fact that she was pressed close to him, and that he could smell her skin.

Silly, crazy, _insane_ girl.

* * *

A new grin appeared on her lips as she let him drag her away from the crowd. Ino didn't do crowds... much... Right. Anyway. This was Kiba - she'd go to a pit full of snakes, if he was there. And it was sad, she thought, how... Bah! She's too drunk for all those thoughts that usually consume her.

"Where ya taking me," she slurred, blinking her blue eyes and staring at the people that came and went.

She didn't wait for an answer, though. She turned in his grip and she backed him up against a wall; this was Karin's house and Ino knew it like she knew her own house. Right now, they were in the hall - the hall that lead to the stairs. Bah, Ino didn't want to move now. Besides, she had her pretty, pretty boy with her.

"I don't think I got my hello kiss,"she mumbled, her lips inches away from his. She didn't take notice of his costume, not right now at least. Her mind was too busy in the one thought of kissing him. And when she did, it was as if explosions went off behind her eyelids.

Ino brought him closer. Because the closer Kiba was to her, the more complete (bahaha, oh, her and her clichés) she felt.

* * *

She was way too close and way too drunk for Kiba to really be able to kiss her, without feeling like he was taking advantage. He grumbled, pecked her carefully on the lips -she tasted like Jack Daniels, and Kiba's head got a little dizzier then it had been a moment before, because, seriously, his favourite alcohol on his favourite girl, fuck-, and tried-and-failed to control the urge to pull her closer.

"You nutcase," he mumbled. He was slightly distracted by the straight layers of long blonde hair; Ino didn't often let her hair down, and it was a damn shame, because she was most beautiful, then.

"Ngghn, quiet now," she told him, and the simple command was more then enough to shut Kiba up.

She'd threaded her fingers through his hair, and Kiba could feel her nails grazing lightly along the nape of his neck. He stared at her. Ino just smiled at him in a razor-sharp way that had him snarling and pulling her closer again.

Motherfucker, she was going to be the death of him.

* * *

Ino didn't want a _peck_!

Ino wanted _more _than that! She wanted her lips moving with his, she wanted his tongue (oooh!) and she wanted... She wanted... She didn't want a _peck_!

....Kiba didn't like her anymore, huh? That was the problem. It _had _to be! With that in mind, Ino's hand slid off from being snaked around his neck. She had a pout on her lips and her eyes were burning as the thought sunk in.

"Ino wants a kiss," she mumbled sadly, "Why does Kiba not want to kiss Ino? Does Kiba not like Ino anymore? He thinks she's ugly doesn't he?"

Tears brimmed her eyes and she sniffled.

* * *

Kiba blinked down at her.

Christ, she was talking in third person, that was never a good sign.

From the few times he'd experienced Ino's tears, Kiba knew that as soon as she started actually crying, as soon as she was _actually_ upset, he knew that he would be able to deny her nothing. It was probably his worst flaw and his greatest attribute; but he really, really, _really_ hated it when girls -especially Ino- cried.

Kiba dipped his head down, and very gently kissed her. "Ino's _very_ pretty. Kiba just wants to keep Ino safe."

* * *

Ino shook her head fervently, waterfalls of platinum-blond hair flying everywhere.

"Ino doesn't need saving! She could save herself! Ino has a _whip_."

All she wanted was to kiss him. That's all. A kiss. Because she was addicted to him and she couldn't just _not _kiss him when he was standing right in front of her, looking so damn sexy and Ino _wanted _to kiss him... And she might be cruel for this, but maybe this was the only way.

"Fine!" She sniffed again and wiped at the tears, "Ino will just go find someone who _will _kiss her! There are some pretty guys and girls around that are willing!"

* * *

Kiba groaned.

Seriously. This was just going to turn to crap. If he kissed her, he probably wouldn't be able to control himself, and that would be taking advantage, which, frankly, just wasn't right. But if he _didn't_ kiss her, she'd cry some more and/or possibly go find someone else, and that would just make him feel like an asshole.

(The mere thought of her kissing _someone else_ had him mentally snarling. He didn't want to think about the implications of that, but there it was. He was jealous.)

And so Kiba took the easier route.

He locked his arms around her, pressed her against the wall, and smashed their lips together.

* * *

It was only right that she smirked triumphantly against his lips.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him closer, until she was sandwiched between the wall and his body. She could never really get enough of Kiba. Never - she was always left wanting more. Needing more. Craving more. She knew he had that damn thing of his where he continued to hold back and it, frankly, angered her to no end. She didn't understand and she didn't want to; which was why she never asked.

But... All that mattered was that he was kissing her. Not a peck, but how she wanted to be kissed and Ino was satisfied with that.

She wanted more, but she knew he'd never give it to her... So, with all the willpower she had, she allowed herself to break away from the kiss once she was out of breath. Her blue eyes remained closed, even ass she smiled and cupped his cheeks.

"There... That's all I wanted," she whispered.

* * *

Kiba smirked.

"You weirdo. C'mon, we're going somewhere."

She blinked wide blue eyes at him. "What? Where?"

He just shrugged, and grinned a fanged, feral grin at her. "I dunno. Somewhere. Anywhere. I just wanna get out of here."

He didn't tell her that he hated watching the way the drunk assholes in the room followed her with their eyes, because, okay, yeah, Kiba got jealous, and stuff, because he _was_ a guy, and she _was_ his girlfriend (sort-of girlfriend; they hadn't made it official, or whatever, but - wait... oh, _fuck_ it), and he _really_ didn't like sharing - and more then that, he hated the way they looked at Ino like she wasn't a person, just another piece of meat.

That had always pissed him off about his own gender. Fuck.

* * *

Ino blinked and looked around.

"But.. But... But... I want to _party_! Kibaaaaaa - Party Hardy!" She pouted and dug her heels to the ground. "Remember?! Life is a party and I'm it's VIP! I MUST BE HEREEEEEE."

There was so many pretty people and they were so pretty and they glittered and it was all so amazing and why was Kiba trying to take her away from this amazing place?! Like, seriously - there was booze, and music, and food, and dancing, and glitters, and pretty people and - INO WANTED TO STAY.

"W-we can play... a game! Yeah! A game! Les's play a game!"

Ino did _not _want to leave, and if he made her leave... She was going to be very angry.

* * *

There was a debate to be had, here.

Kiba could feel his stomach knotting, and he really just wanted to leave. There was no reason for it. Normally, he'd be the first person to be perfectly happy to get lost in the night (it was part of what he _did_ - and he liked partying, but this was different), but right then, right at that moment, all Kiba wanted was to gather Ino up in his arms, and _get the fuck out of there_.

It was irrational and crazy, but Kiba didn't even care.

But the problem was, Ino was looking up at him, and Kiba knew he could never deny her anything. He groaned, and pressed his face into the side of her neck. She smelled good.

What the hell was this, he was acting like some fucking pansy. Suigetsu would never let him live it down. Kiba pulled his face away from her throat, kissed her on the lips again, and then murmured "Let's go back downstairs, kiddo. Whatever you want to do."

* * *

Ino smiled and interlaced their fingers, then she began to lead him downstairs.

"We can play 'I've Never'! Ju-just to start off small. Then we can play the hard stuff. Jus' you 'nd me!"

As they descended to where the party was, Ino turned to stare at Kiba; she watched the look on his face, and, though she was drunk, she could see the unease he was feeling. Sometimes, Ino didn't really understand what went through his head - whenever he was with her. He was usually possessive, which made her giggle. But...

"Hey," she smiled at him, moving his face so that he'd look at him, "Chin up! I'ss'a party - Halloween!"

* * *

Kiba laughed, despite the knot that was his innards.

"Whatever you like, kiddo."

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Naruto was drunk.

Point blank - he was_ drunk_. When Hinata got lost in the mosh of people (along with Cop Karin and Catwoman Ino and Nurse Sakura and Ballerina Tenten), he'd just shrug and went to the kitchen where all the _good stuff _was at.

That was almost an hour and a half ago.

He'd figure Hinata would find him (like, hello - he's wearing a bright-kill-me-now-here-I-am-do-you-see-me orange prison jumpsuit like the ones they wear in Guantanamo Bay, so how could one miss him?) but... she hadn't and Naruto was freaking out. Or, well... some part that was still was it's normal self and not drowned in alcohol.

Something told him he was going to die if he didn't find her. He saw the blank look Neji had given him when he saw them walk in. Neji was... kind of awkward, true. But... he was a beast... seriously. He'd seen him at those practice-things he goes to. HE WAS SCARY AND SASUKE-TEME WASN'T HERE TO HELP HIM OUT (he has no idea where Kiba and 'Getsu went).

So he drank the remnants in his glass and went off to the living room to find her.

* * *

Hinata was, right at that moment, freaked out of her mind.

She was not only probably the single sober person in the whole house, but she was also surrounded by males, all of whom she didn't know, and all of whom were very, _very_ drunk, and were starting to hit on her and _it was scary_ and _WHERE THE HELL WERE HER FRIENDS WHEN SHE NEEDED THEM_.

Hinata bit her lip, and inched away from the alcohol-bright eyed guy on her right. His hand was starting to run up her leg, and Hinata was actually going to start screaming if he didn't take his hands off her body _right this instant_.

* * *

The first thing that came into view when Naruto entered the living room, was the punch-and-food table.

And a mob of boys-that-think-they're-pretty.

He wondered what they were all surrounding - maybe it was, like, ramen or something. If it were that, Naruto wanted some! So, quickly, he moved towards the mob. He pushed and shoved and pushed and shoved until he was right in the center of what they were all supposed to be surrounding.

And it wasn't ramen.

It was _better_.

It was... it was a _fairy_.

She was such a pretty fairy. With long dark ink-colored hair that fell in straight down her back, porcelain skin and eyes that were silvery-white. And she was such a pretty fairy and... why was that guy running his hand up her leg. A fairy was sacred. Fairies weren't meant to be touched - DUDE THEY WERE GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF THIS IDIOT!

Naruto moved forwards and it was then that the fairy warped into Hinata and Naruto saw _red_.

"HEY. GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY GIRL, BITCH."

* * *

Hinata was thirty seconds away from crying, losing her composure, and having a full-out panic attack, when Naruto was suddenly in her line of vision. He was looking like he actually going to break someone's bones. Of course, that was flattering and wonderful, but Hinata didn't want him to get charged for anything. She slapped the creepy-drunk guy's hand away from her thigh, jumped up, shuddered, and managed to get to him without anything stopping her.

Naruto had wrapped his arms protectively around her, and was death-staring around at all the guys who had previously been creeping Hinata out. She was tempted to giggle, but she didn't, because she knew that that would _not_ help the situation.

But still.

It _was_ a funny image.

But Hinata really didn't want to push it, right then.

She exhaled softly, relief in all her body language, and she sagged against Naruto. She was still vaguely terrified in a far-away sort of way, to the point that she didn't even stutter. "Please take me home, Naruto-kun, _please_."

* * *

Naruto found himself nodding, even if he didn't quite catch what she asked. His drunkness went away (though it was still there, it was just moving out of the way for a minute) and he was in Feral Mode. He was ready to rip heads. He was going to _kill _these asses.

But then her request replayed in his head and her desperation was as evident as her fear was and Naruto was not going to deny her this. He'd take her home and he'd protect her and keep her safe. Because, like, really... if anything happened to Hinata, he'd go nuts.

So he gave the douchebags one last Glare of Doom (thank you Teme and 'Getsu) and turned around, leading her towards the door.

"Okay... We can just chill at my house for a bit, okay? It's... it's still too early, Hina. And... I'll protect you!"

* * *

Hinata managed a weak smile, and tucked her face into the hollow of his throat. She knew she was trembling, but Hinata had always been really, _really_ bad at dealing with being hit on. Usually Sakura or Karin or _someone_ was in the way, and, _usually_, Hinata had nothing to worry about.

Stupid Halloween.

"Yo-you're house will be f-fine. I-I just sh-should let someone k-know that I-I'm not... _dead_... or so-something..."

She was so tired. She clung to Naruto, because he was safe and secure, and he wouldn't hurt her, even accidentally. Hinata knew he'd keep her safe, and right then, that was all that she cared about.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

The party was going fantasorgasmically great. Some awesome music was always playing (right now, they were blasting "Fer Sure" and Tenten had a feeling that Ino was going crazy on the dance floor - just like she should, but Tenten preferred to stick around with her rum) and the food was _delicious _and there was _alcohol_ galore.

Tenten could live like this forever.

Not to mention that she scared off about ten creeps that kept coming after her skirt. Literally - the one time Tenten goes out her way to wear a skirt (it's a tutu, but to her it counts as a skirt so back off) and these douches just had to kill it by being unable to handle their hormones. Like, seriously.

Tenten was a Lethal Ballerina.

She was the _only _person that could make it work and the _only _person that could rock it because this was _her _nickname. It was _copyrighted_.

Dressed in a black tanktop, black tutu, fishnet stockings and black combat boots (accessories: black fairy wings, black nerd-glasses and black-bead necklace), Tenten felt completely awesome. And by the way people were staring, she looked awesome too.

She grinned at that, tilting her head back and chugging the remainder of her drink until the cup was empty.

Blinking, she turned to the person standing next to her, also dressed in black, and tugged on his sleeve. "I'm out of drink!"

"What," Neji called out.

"I'm out of drink! I want more drink!"

"You need a shrink?"

She heard him say something-something-brink. Blinking, Tenten went on her tippy toes and yelled in his ear, "I WANT MORE DRINK."

* * *

She didn't _need_ more drinks. Neji was pretty sure that one more drink would send her completely over the edge.

Which would be bad.

So he made a suggestion that he thought he'd regret eventually...

"What about trick-or-treating?" he yelled in her ear over the pounding bass of the speakers.

Sugar instead of alcohol.

It made him wonder what she'd taste-.

Damn her for screwing up his mind with her stupid way of smelling like tangerines...

* * *

Blinking, she nodded her head vigorously and jumped up and down; it's then that she froze and felt the head-rush and she couldn't help but mumble an "ow", even if it didn't really hurt. She turned to Neji and, like a little girl, pulled on his sleeve.

"Can we go _now_?"

He gave a curt nod and made for the front door.

But Tenten had to make a pit stop. So, she slipped her grip out of his hand and flailed to the kitchen. She stared at what could possibly be the ultimate shrine of what she loved the most in life. And with a wide grin she grabbed a _big, unopened _bottle of Bacardi and flailed back to the front of the house.

Neji was already waiting for her outside; she grinned and raised a bottle.

"I love candy, but alcohol's my lover."

* * *

Neji considered it for a second.

Tenten+more alcohol= possible hospital visit after much craziness.

"You can't bring it..."

Anger seemed to bubble from the tips of her black combat boots to the tips of her ears.

"... unless you share it. Sharing _is_ caring, am I right?"

* * *

Tenten blinked. And blinked. And blinked again.

Out of all the things she was expecting him to say, bargaining to be allowed to drink with her was not it. She was actually expecting him to say she couldn't bring it because the people weren't gonna want to give her any candy if they saw her with a bottle of Bacardi.

But then again, Tenten was buzzed, so she could just be dreaming all this - or hearing things she wanted to hear. But, nonetheless did she shrug and open the top of the bottle and took a quick chug; her lips pursed and her throat burned, but she passed the bottle to Neji anyway.

And they continued to do that, drink-pass-it-on-drink-pass-it-on, as they walked towards the Candy Island. Like those idiots on TV, Tenten giggled.

"Nejiiiiiiii."

* * *

Neji stared down at the bottle of Bacardi in his grip. He'd never really _liked_ Bacardi - it burnt on the way down, and not in the good way that Grey Goose vodka did. Bacardi was almost vulgar; it was not a type of liquor he normally indulged in. Halloween. What a ridiculous holiday.

He took another measured swig of rum.

"Yes?" he answered the demonic-drunk-somehow-cute girl next to him.

Her brown eyes were wide with a drunk's quiet honesty, and Neji thought she was beautiful.

Damn it.

* * *

Blinking, Tenten froze in place and then shook her head.

"I _totally _forgot what I was going to say," Tenten blinked her eyes and then laughed. She wanted to shake her head, but if she continued to do that, she'd end up having more head rushes than she'd like - and then need to barf. Which was, like, not good at all.

Oh my god - they were going to get _candy_.

Candy!

Tenten loved candy!

"Oh, oh, oh! Candy! Neji, candy! We gotta find them!"

She was about to start flailing before she remembered that he had her rum. She turned to him and outstretched her hand - it took him a moment, but with one last swig, he handed it back. Tenten's face lit up and she drank right out of it - not minding that she was putting her lips on the same rim his lips had been. If she'd been sober, she would have made a snide remark, just for the hell of it.

"Neji, we're... we're gonna.... Um....." She tried to process what she was originally going to ask him. "We're gonna find.... t-the candy... amirite?"

* * *

Neji sighed, and drew air into his lungs - Tenten smelled like tangerines, alcohol, and freedom. It was possibly the most heady and intoxicating thing that had ever reached Neji's nose. He had watched her tilt her head back and swallow copious amounts of rum, the long, pale line of her throat strangely entrancing.

...

That really couldn't be a good thing.

"Yes, Tenten. We're going to find some candy."

* * *

"Okay!" She perked up, "I love me some candy!"

They walked down the block until evidently they reached a stoplight. It was red - the redness glowing in the dark, making the illuminating glow of the street-lamps seem too dim for their job. No cars were passing by - and if they did, it was rare. But, being the fine citizens of Konoha that they were, they waited and Tenten's unblinking eyes continued to stare at the red light.

"You know, my mom liked to take risks." She was talking, but it was as if she wasn't talking at all. She felt distant from her body, as if she was just standing - her spirit - to the side, watching her physical body do things on its own. "She'd run the yellow-lights, hit the gas a second before the green light came. And... if she were alive, right now, in this empty street - she'd take off because no one was doing it."

The red light turned green, but it was too late to pull Tenten out of the past. She was drunk, yes, and it was because of that that she was talking about this so freely. Tenten doesn't slur when she's drunk - not anymore. Once out of that _stupid _depression right after her mother died, she went off and got _drunk_. She doesn't quite remember if any or all of the girls were there... But since then, Tenten's loved rum and its toxic.

"My dad left us... I was still little when that happened. He'd left my mom crying - _crying,_ Neji, and he didn't even care." Fit for the occasion, she chugged some more of her rum and smacked her lips together. "When I would ask my mom what happened or why Dad wasn't coming back - she told me we didn't need him anymore. That he wasn't important. And... After a while I believed her."

She took another swig and passed him the bottle.

* * *

Their fingers accidentally brushed as Neji took the bottle from her. He ignored the electricity racing up and down his spine. He could blame it on being drunk.

Actually, he was going to blame a lot of things on his being drunk - especially the rather scary urge that was currently taking hold of his body. He wanted to sling an arm around her shoulders, and try to make her feel a little better.

She just looked so _sad_.

Neji was disgusted with himself.

He took another gulp of Bacardi.

"Come on," he murmured quietly, and jerked his head in the direction they were headed as the light turned green, and the little walking man flashed white. He started to walk across the street, not even sure if she was following him or not.

* * *

Tenten followed him, haunted hazel-brown eyes blinking back to the present. This time she shook her head, and welcomed the head rush with all the love her black-hole-for-a-heart could give. She sucked on her lip-ring and sighed, long and hard.

"So, I was thinking - I'm going to get so much candy and I'm going to be so happy; and if anyone refuses to give me candy, we can smack 'em around with your katana-thing." She nodded her head, absolutely loving the idea she just came up with. And then she started skipping ahead of him and singing, "Trick or treat, smell my feet. Give me something good to eat. If you don't, I don't care. I'll pull down your underwear."

The only reason Tenten was skipping away was because she had the sudden urge to just _kiss _Neji. Just... Kiss him. Him and his _pure _lips (not counting the times she's kissed him for the fun of it); being kissed by her, so tainted. Funny, if you look at it that way - usually it was the guy that's tainted and the girl that was pure. But Tenten had done a _lot _of things that Neji hadn't even _thought _of doing. Sex, being one of them (her inner bitch giggled at this).

"Tenten, wait up,"she heard him say... kinda stiffly and slurry.

She waited for him and when he reached her, she made to grab for the bottle but then she looked up at him and her dark eyes caught his light ones and...

Next thing Tenten knew, she muttered an apology and was kissing him.

* * *

Neji did not expect his slightly tipsy arms to be full of pretty, drunk teenage girl.

Part of him sardonically muttered something about "chastity" and "promises", but it was sort of hard to think when Tenten was pressing her lips so frantically against his. He was half tempted to push her away, but what was the point, really?

Neji only managed to lowly groan against her lips, and forced himself not to stiffen in awkwardnessfearwonder, and pull away.

He had a feeling she'd probably be pretty pissed if he pulled away.

And a pissed Tenten was a scary Tenten.

Therefore logic dictated that it would probably be best to just let her have her way. (At least for now.)

* * *

Tenten vaguely realized what she was doing by then - the last thing she remembered was going in for the kill.... but then... then...

Her eyes snapped open, "CANDY!"

She pulled away from whatever she was doing (was she kissing someone? Neji? Really? Ewwwwww.) and grabbed his hand with one hand and held a steady grip on the bottle of rum with the other. And then she was making him run with her as she chanted a mantra of one word: candy.

By the time they stopped running, they were in a much more crowded neighborhood and there were a lot of parents with children in costumes and bags filled with candy and Tenten wanted candy! She wanted it! She clapped her hands, but then realized she couldn't because she was holding on the the bottle and then she realized that the bottle was better than clapping so she drank some.

And it felt amazing.

She handed Neji the bottle and then made to go to one of the houses. From a medium-sized group of kids, a little boy looked at her and asked, "What are _you _supposed to be?

Tenten turned to look at the little tike and blinked, "Me?" She snorted and pointed at herself, "I'm a Lethal Ballerina. I can go psycho on anything and anyone whenever I want. Isn't it cool? Yes, yes, worship me, children for I am made of everything awesome."

Her new worshipers let her have one of their bags and Tenten felt herself glittering with nonstop coolness. And then, with her new mob of friends, she went to ask for candy.

* * *

Neji sighed again, and let her drag him along.

It was going to be a long night.

---

This was ridiculous. Neji was carrying three of the four bags of candy that Tenten had managed to pilfer from various houses, with the help of her evil little minions. Apparently, the little beings had taken to Tenten like nothing else (this was a frightening thought; what if they wanted her to _rule_ them?!), and had decided that Neji, as the only Big Male Person around, would be the one to carry most of the bags of candy.

And they were _heavy_.

Not that Neji was complaining.

He exhaled noisily through his nose, and shot a glance at Tenten. She was clutching the now-empty bottle of Bacardi, her head was thrown back, and she was laughing like a loon in the night.

Neji gulped.

* * *

As she walked down the walkway of yet another house, bag filled with candy, Tenten decided that she just couldn't take it anymore. She was drunk as hell, she was slurring (and she _doesn't _slur, man) and her vision was hazy and blurry and... god, she was _drunk_.

Her little minions went back to their parents and they waved vigorously at her and said some things about them practicing in the art of Lethalness. She waved back at them, less vigorously and paying less attention; she walked towards Neji and shook her head.

"Neji," she breathed out. If any sober person was around, they'd wonder why Tenten was looking to the left, instead of the guy that was standing in front of her, "Neji... I... I can't do'is an'more. I... Your car... I want your car and... Le'ss go back... pleaaaaase?"

* * *

Neji merely nodded stiffly. She looked tired, and his car wasn't far from where they were at that point in time.

"I'll drive you home," he told her quietly.

She smiled at him, and a lump formed in Neji's throat. People -_girls_- weren't supposed to look like that when they smiled, and _other_ people -_him_- were supposed to have better control of themselves. _Get it together_, he told himself through gritted teeth, and began to lead the way back to his car.

Really, it wasn't like he was just going to leave her where she was; alone and drunk and beautiful was never a good combination, and Neji knew that.

* * *

"Neji, I'm sooooooo tiredddddd. Whe' are we? Are we there yet? Wha' time izzit? Nejiiiiiii."

Tenten had her eyes closed as she walked, her empty hand (heyyyy, where did that bottle go?) held on to his elbow, her head leaned back as she walked with much force. God, if she opened her eyes, the world spun around, and if she let go of Neji, she'd stumble. What is up with that, man?

She continued to pout and whine and wish and count and sing as they walked. Neji remained quiet as they walked. And, without her knowing, her hand slid up to his bicep and, his muscle... Tenten's eyes snapped open and turned to stare towards where she though Neji's arm was.

"You... got big guns! Haha, guns - like the one the cops took away from me. Can you bel've them, Neji? How rude of some-- Are we there yet?"

* * *

Neji rolled his eyes.

Drunk-Tenten was as bad as Pissed-Off-Tenten, but not even _close_ to as bad as Tenten-With-A-Gun.

"Almost there, Tenten," he told her, and carefully pulled her along. He was doing his best to ignore the constant stream of chatter that was escaping her mouth, because it was mostly nonsense, anyways, and Neji really needed to make sure that he was sober before he allowed himself to drive. He didn't want to get killed in an accident - his uncle would never forgive him.

And then his car was in sight, sleek and black and the saviour of all mankind. Neji almost groaned in relief; he would get this insane girl home and out of his hair, and then he could go to bed and get some rest.

Neji pulled the sleepy Tenten along, and unlocked the back seat. He set the bags of candy down, and carefully took the one that Tenten had in her arms away from her, and put it with the three others. And then he gently pushed her towards the passenger seat of the car. "Go on."

* * *

"That's too faaaaar."

She stomped her foot and whined like a little five-year old. And then, she got into the back seats and sat down, arms crossed in front of her chest an a pout on her lips. She sat like that for some seconds, with Neji just watching her incredulously before she grasped his hand and pulled him in with her.

"Wah--"

"Shhh," Tenten mumbled. "It's sleepy time."

She closed the door and laid down on the back seats, making Neji follow her actions. Then, Tenten curled up against him, one of her hands clutching at his shirt while the other one made a makeshift pillow. With her eyes closed... it was seconds before she drifted off.

* * *

It was the second time that night that Neji found himself with an armful of girl.

And this time said girl was _sleeping_.

And it was _awkward_.

It was quiet in the interior of the car; Tenten had curled into him, and had somehow managed to lock her arms in place, and Neji realized, with something like growing horror, that he -_they_- probably wouldn't be moving at any point in the near future.

Neji gulped, and was prepared to fight for whatever virtue he had left.

But Tenten was just asleep.

He mumbled out an incoherent sigh. It had been a long day. Neji closed his eyes, thought something along the lines of "_just for a few minutes,_" to himself, and closed his eyes.

* * *

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.

.

* * *

Sakura didn't necessarily like parties. Usually, they were way too over-the-top and a little too crazy, for her taste. Yes, she liked dancing and having fun, but dealing with stupid drunk people? No, thank you. It wasn't her cup of tea.

So this was kind of a new experience for Sakura.

The lights were all _shimmer-pretty_ and the people were all _shimmer-pretty_ and _**everything**__ was __**shimmer**__-__**pretty**__ and Sakura __**liked**__ it_. She giggled happily, and nuzzled her nose into the throat of whoever it was that was in front of her. He (or she, Sakura wasn't really differentiating gender at this point) chuckled lowly, and tugged Sakura closer to where the funny-pretty music was pounding out of.

(There were many things that Sakura didn't know, at this point. One, the person in front of her was someone she'd normally not be seen dead with. Two, she was currently drunk and stupid. And three, as to _how_ she'd ended up drunk; that was easy, because Karin had allowed Suigetsu to spike the "non-alcoholic" punch.

Pfft, please, as if Karin would ever allow someone to _not_ be drunk at one of her parties. Sakura was going to have to thank her for this. Being drunk was rather a nice experience.)

She giggled again, pink hair obscuring her vision.

* * *

Sasuke would admit one thing at this moment - he was buzzed. Therefore, he was drunk driving; DUI.

But Sasuke knew how to drive when he was like this. He did. Sasuke learned how to drive when he was around thirteen - his Uncle Madara had _flailed _and _demanded _he learned how to drive. This is why Sasuke is known as one of the most dangerous drivers. Ever.

But he knew what he was doing.

He ran a hand through his hair as he looked around the neighborhood for any parking. Leaving his car behind a silver Corvette that Sasuke was _positive _was Suigetsu's, he got out of the car and headed towards the dreaded party. He didn't want to come - Sasuke wasn't the type to party. But Sakura had _made _him come, as had Suigetsu and Kiba and Naruto and.... fuck, everyone.

So here he was, already dreading it all. He was getting drunk, that was all he knew.

He opened the door and stepped inside, closing it behind him. He looked around with blank eyes, moving towards the living room; his new goal was to find the booze...

...That goal was forgotten when the first thing his eyes landed on was a wave of people dancing... And Sakura amongst them with some... guy.

* * *

If you've ever been drunk, then you know that hyper-sensitive stage that sometimes you get to, where everything is in sharp focus, and the world is all _tingly_.

Sakura was currently at that stage.

So when the door opened, and when a rush of cold air hit her skin like _sizzle-sizzle-summer-heat-against-winter-numbness_, Sakura whipped away from the boy-girl-person she was dancing with, and glanced at the new arrival.

He was all pretty dark eyes and pretty dark hair, and a frozen, tight-lipped look and he was _Sasuke_. Sakura smiled a happy smile, and practically danced her way towards him. She sang out "_Hiiiii_, Sa-su-ke! How're _youu_?"

* * *

He actually didn't really understand why he was so damn... _angry_ right now. Like, he seemed composed and serious and aloof outwardly but inwardly he was so angry and he wanted to snap someone's neck and Sakura was so _stupid _and...

...He exhaled slowly, closed his eyes for a second and then went serious again.

"Sakura," he said slowly, "you're drunk."

"'Course not, silly! I'm just very happy to seeeeee you!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and went to the table filled with....food and punch. Sasuke did not want food and punch. He wanted to _drink_. He ignored how Sakura trailed after him, giggling and murmuring and.... Oh god. He rolled his eyes and caught a glimpse of blond hair.

It was Naruto, with Fairy-Girl.

The Dobe made eye contact with him and, through this contact Sasuke pleaded him to tell him where the hell the booze was at. Naruto pointed towards the kitchen and Sasuke nodded. He took a hold of Sakura's hand - ignoring how she interlaced their fingers - and led her to the kitchen.

* * *

Sakura giggled again, and swung their entwined hands. She liked the way his hands looked, awash in the bloody, pulsing light that... someone - Karin?... had managed to find, knuckles all lined up neatly at the ends of the backs of his hands, like clean-cut rows of... _something_. It was pretty. Pretty. Very pretty.

Sakura liked pretty things. She let him lead her towards somewhere where it was quieter, even though she much would have rathered been cuddling against him back out close to the music.

"Heeeey, Sasuke... Am I pretty?"

* * *

Sasuke stared at the island filled with alcohol; every flavor of Bacardi - there was also Smirnoff, Grey Goose, Absolut, Peppermint Schnapps, Margarita mix... so... many.... to drink. He didn't even know which one to go with first.

See, he drank beer, sure - he mostly drank that when he wasn't trying to get too drunk or when it was a hang out day with the other idiots; but when it came to rum and...fuck it, he just loved to drink. And he was good at it, too. And...

...He'd go with the Grey Goose first - mix it up with some orange juice and--

"Heeeey, Sasuke... Am I pretty?"

Sasuke blinked and turned to face Sakura. The realization that their fingers were still laced and that she was swinging their joint hands kinda made him do a double take... But... Sakura looked... He gulped as he actually took in what Sakura was dressed as.

She was a... a... nurse.

It was like... a single button up dress-thing that ended right at the middle of her thighs. It was white and had the red crosses that symbolized a hospital. She had on a nurse's cap, white with a large red cross right in the middle of it. And white... heels with red toenails and red fingernails and, dear god, she had a stethoscope.

He swallowed and went to get a drink.

Because he needed a drink.

Pronto.

He groaned as she did not let go of his hand and pressed herself against his side.

* * *

Everything was all kind of dizzy, but Sakura knew when people didn't respond to the things she said - and Sasuke _was not responding_. And it was _annoying_ and _unfair_ and- and- and he was _really, really __**really**_pretty. He was looking at the bottles that - was it Tenten...? Well, the bottles that _someone_ brought in, and they were pretty, too, in an ice cold way, and oh, Sakura _really_ wanted some more punch...

The punch made her tingly. And it was sitting right there, next to where the pretty one was standing.

"Sa-su-ke..." she dragged his name out, nails on chalkboard. Sakura was comfortably pressed against him, and so she looked up, and gave him her most pleading look. "Aren't I pretty?"

She felt him stiffen, and started to pout.

* * *

Sasuke shook her hand out of his and grabbed the fat gallon of orange juice and poured it into a whiskey-glass filled with ice; then he grabbed the long bottle of Grey Goose and mixed it with his orange juice. His mouth went numb at the anticipation of drinking it - and when he did, he emptied the glass's contents in one go.

His mouth pursed and his throat mildly burned, but he refilled the glass nonetheless.

When he finished _that _glass... he moved on to shots.

He loved shots.

He poured some Smirnoff into a shots' glass; he took a sip of coke from one of the cans lined up there, held it in his mouth and then cocked his head back and drank the alcohol along with the coke, letting it mix in his mouth and down his throat before drinking some more of the soda.

"Saaaaasuke," Sakura purred. "I'm pretty, right?"

Sasuke was too busy repeating the process of his shots-drinking to answer her. When he blinked his eyes, the world was slightly hazier than it should be.

* * *

Sakura huffed.

In the drunken haze that she was seeing through, everything was fuzzy and needed to be cuddled (personal space? What the hell was that?), and, obviously, Sasuke was one of these things. The roseate girl cuddled a little closer to the boy who was _still_ downing shots.

He was warm.

It was nice.

Sakura wormed her way underneath his arm, and nuzzled her nose against the bare skin of his collarbone that his costume (he was dressed like a mechanic. It was hot, Sakura would not lie) left exposed. He stiffened more. Sakura cuddled more. He stiffened _more_. Sakura cuddled _more. _She vaguely thought about positive feedback loops and how it was really only pregnancy that sparked them, so this was really kind of pointless because she didn't _want_ to get pregnant, but Sasuke was just so _pretty_ and there was nothing really _wrong_ about it, was there?

She shook her head to herself, and wound her arms around him.

* * *

Sasuke tried to muffle a groan and furrowed his brow in deep concentration.

Sakura made these jolts of utterly pure desire run through his body and when they were out... he couldn't quite control his actions. But he wanted to control them, he honestly did. Because if he didn't... if he didn't he was going to want to kiss her. Want her to be close to him. Want to touch her...

...His breathing picked up as he felt _her _breathing tickle his neck. His eyes snapped open and they lowered to her; this desire grew, and grew, and grew.

Groaning, Sasuke placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back enough--

--to crash his lips to hers.

* * *

Sakura made a single noise of satisfaction in her throat. Well. He _obviously_ thought she was pretty.

(That was a good thing, right?)

His mouth against hers was heaven, and Sakura shook while the alcohol and Sasuke's lips wreaked havoc on her system. She twined her fingers tightly through his hair, and locked him in place. Sakura liked kissing Sasuke, yet another hazy part of her mind decided. He was always warm and attractive and just _sexy as hell_.

Sasuke had her crushed against him, and Sakura instinctively squirmed closer to him.

Right at that second, he was everything she had ever wanted, and then some.

* * *

Part of him still knew what he was doing, the other part snorted and told it that it didn't. He had been buzzed when he arrived, and the drinks he had drank before all this were now running through his system and he had to admit it, he was drunk.

He was drunk because of the alcohol, and as lame as it sounded, he was drunk on Sakura.

Kissing Sakura was something Sasuke enjoyed very much. He liked the feeling of her lips against his, of her arms around him, of her body pressed to his. It was like some sort of drug, an addiction. And if this was addiction, he wouldn't mind being addicted for the rest of his life.

His hands ran down her curves, gripped her hips and lifted her up to the island, moving any object in the way. Her legs instantly wrapped around his waist and brought him closer; Sasuke groaned into the kiss... the kiss becoming fiercer.

It was an _addiction_.

* * *

There was very little that was getting through Sakura's brain, right at that point.

---

_(Hi, this is Sakura's brain, sing your song at the beep!_

_..._

_..._

_..._

_**Hello Sakura, this is your Common Sense talking. Normally, we agree on a lot of things, but right now, I have something to say to you that you **_might not_** like. Sorry, but here goes. Please don't hate me.**_

_**DEAR FUCKING GOD, THIS IS A PARTY, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! OMIGOD, YOU'RE TURNING TO INO OR KARIN OR SOMETHING. THIS IS NOT GOOD.**_

_**STOP IT.**_

_**STOP IT.**_

_**...You're ignoring me, aren't you?**_

_**You bitch.**_)

---

"Sasuke, we - we're gonna get caught, we hav'ta - go upstairs - or... something..." she mumbled - Sasuke was nibbling his way down her throat, and it was very hard to concentrate when he did things like that, really, it was.

His breath was on her ear, and Sakura shivered. She almost felt his smirk, would have felt it if she hadn't been so damn drunk. He was muttering something - maybe to himself, since she couldn't even make out what he was _saying_. But, fuck if it didn't make her shivers stronger.

"Upstairs," she murmured. "We hav'ta go upstairs, Sas-ke, 'therwise Karin's gonna be _pissed_, kay?"

* * *

Growling, he picked her up, set her on the ground and then, intertwining their fingers, led her to the stairs. He didn't know how he found them, it took him a while and Sakura stumbled and tripped at least three times before they did. He pushed through bodies of people he didn't even know, going up the stairs one at a time, Sakura right behind him.

Once on the second floor, a drunk Sasuke was at a lost as where to go. He went right, opened the first door and found out that it was already occupied, the next one was a bathroom... but the one after that wasn't.

It was Sakura that led them inside, though. But it was him that, gently, slammed her against the closed-locked door. And it was him that kissed her.

And it was her that kissed him back.

And all the fervor was back; the nipping, the sucking. He hiked her up, her legs, once again, going around his waist, her arms around his neck. And this was something like bliss.

* * *

Sakura was not going to remember a thing in the morning.

Of this, she was pretty sure.

Oh, well. Given the way that Sasuke was currently kissing her, she didn't even _care_.

They had the whole night ahead of them, and Sakura wasn't about to waste it.

* * *

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.

Extra thoughts from us:

**les**: this chapter. it's so amazing. and Sasuke and Sakura... are so amazing. and Neji and Tenten... are so amazing. FUCK IT. they're all amazing. do not complain for anything, because i will go into a bitch fit. kthxzbai.  
**sonya**: i love tragedies. i love that empty feeling in your heart when you're done & the way tears can't stop coming & there's that choked feeling in your throat. i love filling the emptiness with words. peace out, ya'll.  
**Saraa**: mother of god, that was a long fucking chapter. ... i want cookies... FUCK THIS, THIS IS LAME AND TOOK FOREVER TO EDIT. biznitch.


	20. how to trade vegetables for vodka shots

i'm eating ramen. and i'm writing. and i have soda. dude. life is complete. thanks a lot for the reviews nerdatrons! :)  
**disclaimer: **your mom's throwing a party in her pants, what?  
**dedication: **to procrastinating. to writing crack and sasusaku. to laughing at people when they fall. and to lady gaga. because, like, she's our goddess. damn.  
**notes: **banana's can fly, i chase people with chainsaws, sonya hides and saraa's laughing. life is good.

* * *

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* * *

Suigetsu woke up to an empty bed.

It wasn't his bed, that was the first thought. Suigetsu was used to these kind of mornings - he used to always wake up in a house that was not his, with a girl that was already love struck... A girl he usually never even remembered.

Yawning, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he tried to figure out how he got here and why there were handcuffs on the bedpost (he smirked here because _no duh _it involved sex). What time was it, anyway? Turning to the alarm clock, he watched the seven turn into an eight - it was nine-forty-eight. Groaning, he threw himself on the bed again and stared at the ceiling before his arm came up to his face and the crook of his elbow covered his eyes.

Why did he wake up again? Like, seriously - Suigetsu could sleep through the whole day if he wanted to and now here he was... awake. At nine-forty-eight in the morning. But then he remembered that this was not his house and this was not his room and this was not his bed. He snapped up again at that train of thought.

Moving the covers away from his body, he stood up (after finding his boxers, that is), stretching and cracking his back and his neck and his knuckles. Vaguely, he realized how damn sore he is. Once he was done with cracking his bones, he went into the bathroom and took his morning leak. Bah, who cares if this is not his house... he has a right to at least relief his bladder.

He almost flew down the stairs (after collecting his clothes), almost being the keyword. He froze at the very top of the stairs, looking down at the complete mess that this house was. There was plastic cups everywhere. And confetti. And crumbs. And plastic-ware. And... god, it was as if a hurricane passed through this place.

Shaking his head, he tried to not step on anything disgusting as he passed them... Then he froze.

This was Karin's place.

* * *

When Karin had woken up, she had rolled over, blinked blearily at Suigetsu, and had figured that last night had been a really, _really_ good night. It was almost a shame, because she couldn't remember. Instead of trying to remember what had clearly been the best night she'd had in a while, Karin decided to make her way downstairs.

It was kind of a mistake.

The house was _trashed_.

There were empty beer bottles everywhere, garbage littered the floor, and there were passed out people in the - well, there were passed out people _everywhere_ (it was surprising how few of them Karin had actually seen before; who knew Konoha had this many people?), and Karin just - ugh. This was totally pointless.

Well, she'd been expecting that, but still. How annoying. Cleaning up this mess was going to be a bitch that Karin really didn't want to have to deal with. She sighed, and headed towards the kitchen. There was definitely going to be a need for food in the next few hours.

* * *

After the initial shock, Suigetsu headed straight for the kitchen. His second favorite room in _any _house.

Karin stood there, in front of the stove, looking seriously pissed at something. Suigetsu decided that it must be because her house got totally trashed. See, this was why Suigetsu doesn't host parties - he wentto them. Because if idiots trashed his place, he'd personally go to each of their individual houses and beat the living daylights out of them. And how many years in prison would that be? Restraining orders?

Nah, just going to parties were better.

He ran a hand through his hair and made his presence known.

"I'm hungry."

* * *

Karin turned around, and raised a single eyebrow at him.

"So? Am I supposed to do something about that?"

Did she really want to rile him up, this early in the morning? Karin cocked her hip, and glanced at his lack of clothing.

Why, _hello there_.

(All thoughts of the trashed house flew from her mind. _Yum_.)

Hm, actually, _yes_, she rather _did_ want to rile him up this early in the morning. It would probably lead to an interesting day. And it wasn't like she had anything _else_ to do (part of her muttered vaguely about Sakura and Sasuke and... _something_ that might have actually been important, but... _meh_. Suigetsu was way more fun then those two, any day.)

* * *

He stared at her, and fought the urge to just... just... tear his hair out.

Sometimes, he just didn't understand why the hell she was such a bitch. Here they were, a new morning, he just woke up and she was already up and she was cooking and they must have had some very good sex last night. He'd admit, maybe a "Good morning, how are you feeling?" would have been more polite for him to say, but Suigetsu wasn't all that polite. But still.

What the fuck.

He glared at her.

"No. I can handle this myself."

Suigetsu turned around and opened a cupboard in search of some ramen. He found some after opening about five cupboards. Pfft. He didn't need her stupid cooking or her stupid grilled cheese. Stupid woman.

He didn't really think about just heading to his own house and feeding himself there.

* * *

Karin restrained the urge to giggle evilly - sort of like Brain when he was about to take over the world. She practically had to bite through her lip to keep from laughing, and she had a feeling that she was shaking with giggles.

Or something.

She flipped the two finished grilled cheese sandwiches onto a plate (she always made two, now, out of habit. And, habit or not, there were definitely going to be hungover people looking for food), and walked to the kitchen table. She sat down, crossed her legs at the ankles, and started to happily munch on one of them.

From where she was seated, she could watch Suigetsu totter helplessly around the kitchen. Really, he was totally useless when it came to anything that could be considered cooking. And it was _always_ amusing to watch him flail and growl and just generally have a bitch fit. And it would _continue_ being funny, until he simply gave in, admitted defeat, and asked for her help.

Well, it wouldn't be the first time.

"Sure you can, Sui. Sure you can."

* * *

He'd be _damned _if he asked for her help.

He might have done it before, but not _this _time. Fuck no, Suigetsu was done with kissing that scrawny ass of hers. Seriously. So he turned the....was it a stove? Bah, whatever, the point is he turned it on and now the water was in the process of being boiled.

Glaring at the wall, he lifted himself up on the island and waited.

How long does it fuckin' take to boil water? He was _starving_.

Suigetsu rubbed one of his eyes as he unconsciously swung his legs.

He could _feel _Karin's smirk.

God, he hated her.

She should go off and kick all the idiots out of her house instead of making his life so annoying. Like. Seriously. God, he hated her.

And so, because he hated her, he ignored her.

* * *

It was very quiet for a long moment, and Karin realized that Suigetsu was trying to ignore her.

Karin _really_ hated being ignored.

Suigetsu _really_ should have known that fact, by now.

So she stood up, stretched languidly, and sashayed towards his turned back - so what if there were other people around? They were invading _her_ house, and if they had an issue with her fucking her boy-toy (boy friend? What _were_ she and Suigetsu?), then they could _suck it_.

Karin knew there'd be a fiercely intense look of concentration on his features - when he tried (the key word was _tried_) to cook, he always got the same look on his face. Huh, she should probably teach him how to cook, actually. The boy was entirely useless in a kitchen, and would likely starve if she left him to fend for himself.

How had he even _survived_ this long?

She slipped her arms around his waist from behind, and rested her chin on his shoulder. Karin smiled against the skin of his shoulder. She really did love riling him up.

"Are you _mad_ at me?" she murmured, her voice low, very-realistically-fake hurt, and truly, dangerously _sultry_.

* * *

Suigetsu was proud to say that he was immune to girls and their fakeness. Actually, he was even more proud to say that he knew _when _they were being fake.

Karin was being fake right then and she was _pissing him off_. Seriously, she _lived _to piss him off; sometimes he wanted to leave his _own house _just to get away from her (he still ignored the fact that this was _her _house and he could very much leave it when he'd like). And that was the current plan - he was going to fuel himself with ramen, shower and then leave. Maybe go to go bug people at the Uni-Lab.

But he was _not _going to stay in Karin's house and be Karin's source of entertainment.

Seriously.

He ignored her. More.

He knew she hated that. Therefore, he did it _more_.

Tch.

(She could clean the mess that was her house by herself.)

* * *

Karin tutted.

Well, now he was just being _annoying_.

"Sui-get-su... Talk to me!"

His jaw was set, and he still looked very, very focused. The water in the pot still wasn't boiling. Didn't he know the saying "a watched pot never boils"? It was just going to seem like forever, if he didn't distract himself some way. Silly boy. Also, there were _plenty_ of distractions - she was one of them. The beer bottles on the counter were another (he'd so be helping her clean up, later).

"No," he muttered.

"...You're _boring_."

"You're a bitch."

All that did was make Karin more determined to make him pay attention to her. She pressed her lips against the middle of his shoulder blades, right against his spine, and let her fingers trail along the muscles of his abdomen. Pretty boy. _Yum_.

* * *

He would not shiver.

_He _would not shiver.

He _would _not shiver.

He would _not _shiver.

He would not _shiver._

_He would not shiver_.

......He shivered.

Suigetsu glared as hard as he possibly could and growled low and deep within his throat. Karin could annoy him so damn much.

"Stop it," he bit out. He wasn't one to mind fucking with people around (...passed-out, but people nonetheless) but Karin was being a bitch and he did not gratify that. At all. God she so annoying.

* * *

"No," she told him succinctly.

She _felt_ the growl rumble through his chest. "Back _off_, woman," he snarled.

Karin simply kept pressing her lips against his back, right along his spine (because he was sensitive right along there; all those nerves along his spinal cord. Thank you once again, Sakura's random anatomy lessons) and simply let her fingers wander. She did know his body - knew his body almost as well as she knew her own.

And besides. In times of crisis, play ignorant. It usually worked. And this was definitely a crisis - Suigetsu not paying attention to her wonderful self? IT WAS A TRAGEDY.

And Karin simply couldn't let such a horrible thing continue.

It had nothing to do with the fact that his skin was warm.

Not at all.

* * *

His stomach growled.

Snarling, Suigtsu jumped off the island, broke away from Karin's embrace and went to the stove, turned it off and _threw _the pot into the sink. He went back tot he cupboard and grabbed a box of cereal, dumping some into a bowl and then going in search of some milk.

....There was no milk.

Suigetsu banged the fridge-door closed.

"There's no milk. What the fuck."

He began to say some very colorful words - and Karin's giggles were very audible, at this point. He turned his vibrant glare towards her.... And she was extending the plate with the sandwich towards him. Suigetsu's face softened out of the glare and stared at her.

And then he went in for the kill.

Fooooooooood.

* * *

Karin could only giggle and giggle. Suigetsu wolfed the sandwich down, and gave her a much happier grin.

"You are _so_ predictable, Sui, did you know?"

He rolled his eyes, and swallowed the last of the sandwich. "I'm sorry that you're confusing me with someone who gives a fuck."

She just stuck her tongue out at him, and then gave him A Look. "Watch your language, it's rude. Especially when I'm just trying to be nice. And so I'm going to take a shower, and I'm going to ignore you because _you're mean_ and you don't like me. So there."

And then Karin turned tail, and sashayed out of the kitchen.

* * *

Suigetsu snorted and went to wash his hands.

Seconds later he found himself following her. She was in the process of walking to the bathroom (she had gone into the room to do who knew what) and she only stuck her nose up in the air once she saw him. Rolling his eyes he walked a little faster until he was right behind her. Snaking his arms around her waist, he buried his face in her neck and smirked.

"Of course I don't like you, Toots," he muttered sarcastically as they stepped over a passed out idiot.

Because, really, if he didn't like her, why the hell would he be putting up with her? Even _he _had to admit to that.

* * *

"You're not helping your case, Jailbait," Karin murmured.

Bah, he made everything so ridiculously hard - why on _earth_ would he do that? Silly, silly boy.

"If you liked me, you wouldn't be such a _jerk_ all the time. I'm going to take a shower, I feel icky, lemme go already?"

"If you liked _me_, you wouldn't piss me off just as a source of entertainment." He paused, and nuzzled his face deeper into her neck. "Why would I let go, if I like this position?"

Karin let out a very undignified squeak. "Stop that, you _know_ I'm ticklish! I don't _mean_ to piss you off, it just kind of _happens_. And you piss me off, too, and you know it, you idiot. And-and I feel _gross_, I want to take a showerr, Sui-_get_-suuu, stop making my life hard!"

He just chuckled, and said "Then don't let it happen, loser." He picked her up, threw her over his shoulder, and continued "So let's shower, Toots."

It took all of Karin's self-restraint not to blow the shower off, and jump him right then.

* * *

He turned the water on, made sure it was at the right temperature before he walked right inside - both of them with their clothes on; he smirked at Karin's squeals and her thrashing and he set her down, gently, on the ground.

Before anything, he crashed his lips to hers and engaged them both into a hungry kiss.

"Let me show you how much I _dislike _you," he murmured against her lips, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer until she was pressed against him.

He smirked against her lips and reached for the hem of the soaked shirt.

.

.

.

* * *

"You realize that this kind of defeats the purpose of getting clean, right?" Karin murmured softly.

They were sprawled on his bed, curled comfortably beneath the sheets together. Karin was halfway thrown on top of him, her hair in her face. "Also, I think there are people passed out in the living room, and I _think_ Hina took Naruto home, but I'm not sure. And it''s more than likely that Sasu-face and Sak are passed out in the other room. And-"

He simply grunted at her, to shut her up, and Karin sighed. He was right. There was time to bitch about the people that were invading her house later.

For right at that second, Karin was perfectly happy where she was.

* * *

Suigetsu had his eyes closed as he mumbled a barely coherent, "We can always go shower again, Toots."

"We could... But then when those assholes wake up, there'll be no one to yell... but then I'd actually have to _deal_ with them... but maybe Sakura and Sasu-face'll wake up together, and I want to see that reaction... but at the same time... Yeah, let's shower."

Suigetsu rolled his eyes and without much trouble, he lifted her up and over his shoulder and head towards the bathroom.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Kiba woke up the next morning on someone else's floor.

Great.

Well, it wasn't anything new. Kiba sat up, a splitting headache already pounding happily away behind his eyes. He blinked blearily, and looked at the body radiating heat to him (well, actually, there were a lot; but he was closest to only one).

Ino. Of course.

Kiba had a vague memory of drunken Twister, a very embarrassing game of "I Never", and _way_ too much alcohol, but that was entirely eclipsed by the way Ino's long blonde hair fell around her head like some golden halo when she was this quiet (_what the fuck, since when are you sort of like... poetic? Back the fuck up, man, that shit's too gay for me_, Suigetsu muttered in his head disbelievingly). He brushed her bangs away from her face, and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

Of course, the movement resulted in more pain behind his eyelids, but it was worth it to see big blue eyes open and flicker at him in recognition.

"Morning, kiddo."

* * *

A smile appeared on her dry lips almost automatically.

Waking up with him next to her? Ummmm, Ino could _so _get used to that. She stretched and tried to ignore the pounding headache starting to take effect. She sat up and flipped her hair out of her face... And then, as if with waking up everything was triggered, her cellphone vibrated.

She fished it out of her cleavage and picked up.

"'Elloooo...?"

_"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, CHILD?!"_

Wincing, Ino pulled the device away from her ear. It was her Daddy and he was _freaking _out. But Ino was already used to this, so she just sighed and mumbled a, "At Karin's house..."

_"DOING WHAT?! WHY DIDN'T YOU COME HOME?!"_

"Daaaaaddy. It was _Halloween_ last night. I was watchin' scary movies." She placed a hand on her forehead and opened her eyes, staring at Kiba and rolling her eyes as her father continued to throw a fit. "It's Karin, Daddy... Mhmmm. Nooo, I'll eat her. _Yes _I brought a change of clothes. Okay... Be good... Mhmm."

* * *

Kiba stared at the phone that Ino was holding in abject horror.

He was going to get _shot_ when-and-if-but-probably-not-because-he-kind-of-liked-having-his-balls-attached-kay-thanks-bai met her father.

There was actually no describing his fear for his life. He knew that Ino was an only child - and only _girl_, at that - and that her father would _probably not_ be happy with his baby girl dating someone who was older. Actually, her father probably would have had an issue with it, anyways, because he was a dude, and every dude knew how every other dude was.

As far as Kiba was concerned, if he ever had a daughter (he tried to ignore the sudden image of a little girl who looked exactly like Ino that had just popped up in his head), he wouldn't be letting her date anyone. Ever.

_Never_.

Because Kiba knew how dudes were.

Fuck.

"Uh... is your dad always like that?"

And now he was asking rhetorical questions. Great. Just great.

* * *

"Hmmm?" She leaned her head back and let a drunken smile (tho' she was no longer drunk) come to her lips. "Daddy? Oh... No. He has issues."

"So I hear," he mumbled.

Ino managed a soft laugh. "He wasn't _always_ like this...not much, at least. It's just that... it's just me and him, now. So... He's just... paranoid. And traumatized. Or both."

"I don't blame him."

She hummed and closed her eyes. Suddenly, she felt like she's been under the clutches of black leather for too long and the urge to take the costume off became almost unbearable. So, with all the reluctance in the world she stood up and stretched.

"I think I'm going to shower. Karin can suck her hissy fit, for all I care."

* * *

Kiba nodded.

His head hurt.

He leaned back against the closest wall (how had they managed to end up in the corner...?), and closed his eyes. The light was not mitigating the migraine that was settling in between his eyes; if he didn't get some sort of painkiller, it was going to be a painful day.

Fuck it, Suigetsu was right; it was better to be allergic to hangovers, and just keep getting drunk.

* * *

Somewhere around the miniature intervals of getting up, going up the stairs, showering and stalking into Karin's room (she ignored the sleeping tangled limbs and only muttered a "there are losers invading this place. Kill them, please for they are lame"), and snatching a tank-top and random jeans.... (and shoes, for she was not going to walk around in thigh high boots) ... Ino grew hungry.

She walked down the stairs, and braiding her long hair into a single braid. She headed towards where she last left Kiba and stared down at him. Grinning, she muttered, "I'm kind of hungry. Let's go feed ourselves, yes? Oh! I can make _waffles_!"

* * *

Waffles? When was the last time he'd had _waffles_?

...Actually, he really couldn't remember.

Kiba grinned up at her, a slow smile sneaking it's way across his lips, and pulled himself off the ground. He cracked his neck, slipped his left arm arm around her waist, his hand curling on her hip. Food sounded like a good idea.

And waffles implied whipped cream.

...

Motherfucker, he was turning into Suigetsu. Something needed to be done.

Kiba kissed the top of Ino's head. "Sure. Waffles sound good."

* * *

Ino loved that feeling of security. It was a different kind of security than that of the one her Daddy made her feel. This one... She actually had no words for this one - she supposed that even a writer such as herself was able to be at a loss of words. But the point is that she liked this feeling that Kiba made her feel.

She smiled and led him towards Karin's front door. "Okay, we can go to my house!"

She felt him stiffen, almost heard the gulp and she couldn't help but let out a laugh at that. She shook her head and tried to make her laughter cease, "Would you calm down? Daddy already left for work."

And then she felt him relax, even if just a bit.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Neji wasn't really expecting to wake up on the floor on his car.

But he did.

And it was painful.

He groaned.

* * *

Tenten's always been a light sleeper - if she slept at all. She was that kind of sleepers that remained in the same position through out the whole night, because if she moved, she'd wake up and never get back to sleep. So that was why, when she heard a groan, she automatically sat up.

"WASSGOIN'ON?!" She mumbled-shrieked.

She looked around, slapping some of her hair out of her face and... She was inside a car. Oh dear god, what did she do now? Who did she sleep with now? Wh---Oh, wait... This car was famila---OH DEAR GOD THIS WAS NEJI'S CAR.

Frantically, she looked around for the owner... He was on the floor.

She'd laugh, but then a painful bolt in her head made her groan and drop to the seat. She had a killer migraine and dear god was that a hangover coming?

"Oh, I'm going to dieeeee," she moaned.

* * *

Neji sat up, and stared at Tenten.

He, unlike her, had not overindulged last night. The lack of hangover was a pleasant change. Neji just looked at her. He really had nothing to say. Her words from the previous night rang through his ears, and he wondered, briefly, if she remembered any of it, at all.

Somehow, he didn't think so.

"Are you alright?" He mentally winced at his clipped tone; he hadn't meant to sound so harsh, but she looked - _something he did not understand, what was this awkward feeling in his stomach _- with her hair all over the place, the way it was.

Neji hated everything.

* * *

Normally, Tenten would have lashed out at him being so rude to her. But right now she was _dying_. Like, seriously. Her stomach kept making these weird noises and it hurt and her head was _pounding _and it felt like she was being hit with a mallet repeatedly.

God, how much did she drink last night? Even expert drinkers got some seriously awful hangovers, but this was ridiculous.

But... Tenten was not normal today so instead of acting ferocious, Tenten whimpered and moaned softly. Her eyes were clenched closed as one hand was on her tummy and the other one was knotted through her wavy hair and holding her head.

"Neji, I'm dyingggg. Save meeee."

* * *

Neji was half-tempted to just leave her there, but she looked in so much pain, and so pathetic, that he just sighed, and opened the car door. She was going a little green around the gills, and Neji was _not_ worried about her _at all_.

He slipped out of the car, and very gently helped her out.

Tenten moaned, and tried to clutch at her head.

Neji gulped, and hoped the fresh air would help her feel a little better - and he knew that she was probably going to puke, and having that in the back of his car would just be nasty.

Touching her was going to be a temporary inconvenience - _not_ because it made his stomach knot in any particular way. Neji half-carried the wincing girl out of his car, and set her down gently on the grass. He had no idea where they were, but that didn't really matter, because Tenten looked like she was going to die.

Neji felt his throat do a weird strickening thing.

"Here, let me hold your head."

* * *

Girls normally know how to handle things that involve boys. Girls normally know how to see things, how to hear things, how to know things they want. Girls usually read too much into things; girls tend to switch your words around until they say what they want them to say.

Tenten wasn't like most girls.

She didn't know how to handle anything that had to do with boys. It either went that she screwed them or she made them get the hell away. She didn't see anything, let alone _hear_ or know anything, other than the fact that they annoyed her when they stared at her ass. Tenten didn't read into anything because Tenten didn't like to read much. And Tenten didn't switch any words because she was usually rearranging boys' faces.

That was why she didn't feel anything when Neji held her head.

And she felt like she wanted to puke. But _what _was she going to puke? Stomach acid - ewwww. Water - _ewwww_.

And then she remembered she was kind of hungry.

"Neji," she whispered, her eyes closed and her head pounding like it's never pounded before, "I'm hungry."

"We'll get you some food," he whispered back.

Tenten felt something then. She just wasn't sure what the hell it was - maybe it came with the hangover.

* * *

Neji held her head carefully, fingers arranged over Tenten's head in an almost-halo.

Crap, she looked bad.

He moved a little, careful not to jostle her head. Neji wasn't _that_ much of an ass - he'd only ever had one hangover like the one she seemed to be sporting, but that same hangover would be forever etched into his mind, because it had been _very_ painful.

"Can you walk?" he asked, voice gentle.

* * *

She took a deep breath in and allowed her eyes to flicker open.

Total bad idea.

Cringing, she said, "Mhmm. If I trip or som'n, you can be m'wonderwall or... what'er."

When he helped her stand up, the first thing Tenten did was crack her neck. She groaned in a mixture of delight and pain and then she slowly opened her eyes and looked around. She had _no _idea where they were and, dude, she must have gotten really shitfaced last night. She didn't remember a _thing_.

"You're so niiiiice," she found herself saying, "Why aren't you this nice to me always? Maybe we could be friends if you were."

She heard him chuckle. Something, a side of her mind that wasn't in pain said, sadly, that it was a sad chuckle and for some reason Tenten's insides churned. "You normally don't like me this much. We need to get some food into you."

And some more churning.

_I don't **want **to not-like you. _She wondered why it was so hard to say that out loud.

* * *

"Come along," Neji murmured, and very carefully helped her up.

He didn't want to cause her any undue pain.

He let her go for a half-second, only to have to grab her to stop her from falling over, and her eyes were still closed. Neji watched her winced, and slipped an arm around her waist. She really didn't look like she was able to walk, and helping her stay upright made this weird things happen to his body.

He had a feeling that she was trying not to cling to him, and he almost smiled.

Crazy girl.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Hinata woke with her first hangover ever.

_Christ_, it was no wonder Karin swore so much; Hinata had _seen_ how much alcohol that girl could imbibe, and the fact that Karin's liver still worked was a miracle ("_My liver is **tank**, Hina, obviously that is how I am alive,_" Karin murmured on the inside of Hinata's head, and Hinata just really kind of hated her friends, sometimes).

She tried sitting up.

It _hurt_ too much.

She groaned, and hid her face in the body that was currently pillowing her.

_..._

_..._

_..._

_ADKSJGFHSEJ, HOLD ON. AGH. WHAT._

Hinata's head spun as she tried to extricate herself from whoever it was. Her head had been buried in his throat, and she did know the scent that lingered there, vaguely, but it was kind of like a weird, fuzzy memory; something that she should know, but didn't.

Stupid alcohol.

Hinata finally managed to pull herself free; but only enough to move her head and actually look at whoever it was. Her memory of the previous night was very, uhm, _not there_. She had a few vague moments of clarity (one of which was some random creepy guy trying to stick his hand up her skirt; Hinata remembered the minor panic attack), and at this point, Hinata was _more_ the a little bit freaked out.

Like, what if she had _slept_ with him?! The lack of protection could lead to a baby, and then everything would go to _shit_ because she'd have an STI or something, and _oh, mother of god, what would her father say_, and-

-Hinata forced herself to stop freaking out, and looked up.

Naruto.

...

Okay, maybe alcohol _wasn't_ so bad.

* * *

Naruto didn't want to wake up.

Sleep was so amazing and he had this dream where he was in this world made up of ramen and his two favorite girls in the world were there and he was eating and it was amazing. So no, Naruto didn't want to wake up any time soon.

But then there was shifting around him and the warmth he had felt dwindled a bit and why was there no warmth around him? So Naruto cracked a blue eye open and looked around.

First of all _why _was there warmth around him? He didn't sleep with a random girl last night, did he? Oh, that'd be all bad! How was he supposed to explain this to Hinata-chan?! Like, sure, they weren't official or anything but he didn't want to screw up before it began, dammit!

So he sat up and, ignoring the headache and the headrush for a second, he looked around with panicked blue eyes.

And then he saw Hinata laying next to him.

...So maybe it's all gooooood. He smiled at her and laid back down.

"Hi."

* * *

Hinata's brain was having trouble processing. It wasn't because he was smiling _like that_ at her.

Really.

(Blame the hangover.)

Stupid Halloween. Why did it have to have been on a Sunday? And why on _earth_ had she allowed Karin to throw a party? They had _school_ the next... day... The colour drained out of Hinata's face, and when she spoke, her voice shot up an octave. "Uhmmmm... you have t-to let me go, I have to g-get to class. I'm _r-really_ late, Naruto-kun."

"...So? We should go eat breakfast! First period? Who cares about first period. It shouldn't be so early!"

Naruto looked so hopeful that Hinata couldn't resist. Crap. Too cute. And her attendance _was_ almost perfect, anyways (she was not Karin nor was she Ino nor was she Tenten; she and Sakura were the _good_ ones who actually _went_ to class, unlike _some people_).

Hinata sighed. "Al-alright. But I _do_ ha-have to get to c-class eventually, o-okay?"

* * *

By the time Hinata finished that sentence, Naruto was already in the shower.

Honestly, he had no idea why she drove him wild. But he absolutely adored Hinata-chan and her smiles and her stutters and her blushes and she was just so small and pretty and--He blinked and shook his head - water flying everywhere.

Seriously, Naruto freaked himself out sometimes. But it was the truth! Hinata-chan was prettyyyyyy.

Ten minutes later, he walked out of his bathroom and to his room, a towel wrapped around his waist.

"So where do you want to eat," he asked, walking to his drawers. He didn't notice her heavy blush.

* * *

ASDFGHJKL.

Hinata couldn't even do anything.

Like, seriously. Nothing.

Well, she could hide her face, and pretend that this whole situation was a really (amazing) horrible dream, and she could pretend that she wasn't wearing a really, really _really_ flimsy white dress that was... mostly stained, and ripped in a couple of places, and _oh, god_, how was she supposed to go to _school_ like this?!

Hinata peeked out, and was faintly relieved to see that he was sort-of-almost clothed. He'd managed to get a pair of jeans on, and Hinata could only stare in faintly-shocked attraction - dear god, the boy had nice abs.

Now. How to phrase what she needed.

"Uh-uhm, N-Naruto-kun, I - don't r-really ha-have, uhm, uh, _c-clothes_. Cou - could I - uhm... Could I - uh. Oh. Could I bo-borrow some, uhm, something? Pl-_please_?"

* * *

Naruto turned to look at her and blinked.

"Some---OH! Oh. Haha, yeah! Lemme find something that could fit you."

He rummaged around, took out a pair of dark skinnies and a blue t-shirt and handed them to her. He grinned at her blushing face and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. "You should shower, Hinata-chan! I'm _starving_. And the water'll do you good."

Naruto watched her walk to the bathroom, steps small and shy and he couldn't help but grin. She was so pretty and jeeeeeez.

Shaking his head, he went off to find a t-shirt and his infamous orange converses.

* * *

Hinata flushed, and ducked into the bathroom, his clothes tucked tight underneath her arm. He was right; she probably _would_ feel better if she got cleaned up, and washed the nights activities (most of which were still blurry, or not there at all) out of her hair.

And it _did_ feel good.

Hinata thanked sunlight and all that was good in the world as she washed dirt out of her hair (and had to use Naruto's shampoo. Uhm. She was going to smell like him. The thought almost had her fainting. _Damnit_).

The heavenly shower lasted all of three minutes. Hinata sighed, dried her hair, and stared down in slight horror at the neat pile of Naruto's clothes that were sitting oh-so-innocently on the toilet seat. Her underthings were there, as well, and Hinata gulped.

With shaking fingers, she reached for the first article of clothing.

* * *

When Hinata came out of the bathroom, Naruto didn't really think he was going to do a double take or anything like that.

He did.

She looked... In his clothes... She.... Well, for starters, they were kind of big on her. But she looked adorable and pretty and he felt this immense sense of pride at having her wear his clothes and smell like him. It made every other guy back the fuck up and understand that she was kind of in a relationship. (Only not really since they hadn't made it official.)

He grinned at her, his eyes scanning her for the _n_th time.

"Alrighty then! Let's go eat breakfast, and then let's go get you to school!"

* * *

He kept shooting little glances at her.

Did she look bad?

Probably, given that his clothes swamped her, and made her look smaller and frailer then she normally looked (and that was a feat, given how small and frail she normally looked). Hinata sighed, and let him walk her outside; her books were at school, and it wouldn't hurt to skip going home entirely.

Hinata _really_ didn't want Naruto to die, or something.

She smiled up at him, and shyly slipped her hand into his (they were sort of dating, right? Holding hands was allowed, _right_? Hinata had a minor panic attack then and there. Damn, she was regressing...)

"Yeah, let's go g-get breakfast. That'd b-be nice."

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Sasuke, since his childhood, loved to sleep on his stomach, his arms around his pillow. And this is how he was sleeping right now. He was in one of those deep sleeps; deep, dreamless, heavy, draining. If one didn't look carefully, one would think he was dead.

And then came the sudden urge to pee.

Now, not even a deep sleeper like Sasuke could ignore that sensation. So, with his eyes still half closed he stood from the bed and made to walk to the door. But then he froze, eyes snapping open as he realized that the door to this room was on the left. The door in his room was on the right - just where the fuck...

...Oh god. He didn't sleep with a random girl last night, did he?

He didn't sleep with anyone, did he?

Leaving all those questions for later, Sasuke exited the room to the bathroom. And then, when he came back in... He froze at the sight of the girl sleeping on the bed.

In his shirt (he looked down and realized for the first time that the lower half of the mechanic-costume was off his torso, and he was shirtless). And... her costume was off.

Sasuke could only blink and walk to the inviting bed. Answers? Who needs answers? Those can wait; for right now, Sasuke was going to sleep some more and ignore the mind-blowing hangover he had.

* * *

Sakura woke up, head completely clear.

Now, there was a reason that Ino and Karin and pretty much anyone who drank with Sakura hated her:

Sakura didn't get hangovers.

Ever.

(It probably had something to do with having Tsunade's genes; the woman regularly drank men half her age under the table, and to say she drank like a fish would be an understatement.

...Bitch.)

She'd never have any memory of the previous night and no matter how hard Sakura tried, it never came back. So Sakura was often left in the dark as to the things-and-people she had done - but so far, from what she'd gathered, Karin had normally stopped her from doing anything _really_ stupid.

But, apparently, that hadn't happened, this time.

Because Sakura was curled up like a cat next to a warm body. In a bed.

..._Uh-oh._

Eyes closed, Sakura carefully sensed her surroundings, and noted three things. One, she was very comfortable, so she made no move to get up. Two, the person sleeping next to her was wearing pants. Very good. And three, she was wearing a shirt, and the short-shorts that she'd put on as a precaution the previous night were still in place.

Sakura breathed a sigh of relief.

Because that meant that she hadn't slept with anyone.

(Or so she thought.)

* * *

As hard as he tried, Sasuke wasn't able to fall back into sleep. Not into that _deep _sleep, at least. He was sleeping lightly - like he normally did and it irked him because he could still feel the pulsing of the monstrous migraine he had and it wasn't cool.

Not to mention that the fact that there was a girl next to him irked him. Not because it was a _girl_, but because he didn't know who it was and did he sleep with her? Like... not like they are right now, but... you know. Put the bun in the oven. Park the car in the garage. Hit the pinata with the stick. So on, so forth?

Mentally sighing, Sasuke peeped his eyes open. And then he saw _pink_.

"Asdfghjkl---"

Next thing he knew, he was on the floor.

* * *

The loss of the other person's heat and the dull _thud_ of body hitting ground, had Sakura sleepily opening her eyes, and peeking over the edge of the bed.

And there was Sasuke, staring up at her from the hardwood floor, looking utterly bemused. And Sakura just couldn't hold back the laughter that threatened. Despite her exhaustion, Sakura threw back her head, and laughed like a loon.

She knew that it probably wasn't a good idea.

But it didn't matter.

He was wearing pants.

They hadn't had sex.

All was well.

(And besides. Ruffled, early-morning, bemused Sasuke was actually kind of ridiculously cute.)

* * *

Sasuke automatically glared, blowing his annoying bangs out of his eyes as he continued to glare at her.

"Shut up," he croaked, his usually smooth voice raspy.

But Sakura continued to laugh and Sasuke growled. He stood from the ground and just..._stretched_. You can never have too much stretching. His tendons, his muscles, his bones felt amazing as he continuously cracked them. And then he continued to glare at her.

There _was _one thing though - since this was Sakura, there had _definitely _been no type of action last night. _Dude, how utterly **laaaaaame**, _the Suigetsu in his head dragged out. But Sasuke could only roll his eyes and sit on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair and trying to figure out a way to make this _awful _migraine disappear.

And then he remembered one thing. Just _one _single detail before everything went foggy-black. "You're a crazy drunk."

* * *

Sakura rolled her eyes. "So I've been told. And good morning to you, too."

She rubbed her left eye, trying to get the crusty sleep crap to stop sticking her eyelids together - it was pretty gross, and Sakura didn't like that thing where she had to use effort to blink, because it was rather cumbersome, and just kind of annoying.

And then Sakura started her usual morning routine of un-kinking her back, stretching out her muscles, and generally getting ready for the day.

"Ugh, I _hate_ it when I miss school. Physics is such a _pain_... there's pain-killers in my bag, you look like you need them."

He gave her a very odd look. "And this bag is _where_?"

Sakura blinked. "Uh. Downstairs? I think. I need to find some clothes, anyways. Because I need to get to school. Ugh."

She stretched again, fingers reaching towards the ceiling, and then stood up, and headed for the door. Sakura knew he was probably cursing her; she wasn't making any attempt to keep the noise level down, but that was what he got.

Huh, Karin had to have some clothes around there, somewhere...

* * *

"Give me my shirt."

He watched her freeze in mid-stride before peering at him from over her shoulder, "...Later."

Sasuke wanted his shirt _now_.

She glared at him. "Do you _want _me walking around without a shirt on?"

He stared at her, expression blank. He thought about it for a second; a girl... Walking around with nothing but her underclothes. In front of him. And she still had to ask him? Sasuke might have been a complete jerk by default but he was still _male_ and he still had _hormones._

"Yes."

He smirked as she glared at him, turning around and putting her hands at her hips to make the whole posture complete. "...Asshole. No."

At this, Sasuke rolled his eyes and snorted. "There's nothing interesting under it, anyway. Just hand it over."

"_NO._"

Sasuke stared at her. "Take it off. Or I'll take it off for you."

* * *

Sakura was close to baring her teeth at him, and telling him to stuff it up his ass.

"_Go ahead_ and _try it_, Uchiha."

* * *

With his eyes still glued to hers, he stood up from the bed.

And then he walked towards her, steps even and he walked until he was standing right in front of her, no space in between their bodies. He still had his eyes on hers as he grabbed the hem of his shirt and he began to lift it up.

Her eyes seemed to grow wide. Like, huge. And they actually _showed _how she was freaking out in her insides; and yet she looked determined. Freaked out, yet determined. Sasuke could only smirk at her.

The shirt was past her navel now.

* * *

Okay, so sometimes Sakura lied to herself, and it was pretty stupid, but it helped her get through the day.

Sakura forced herself to not grab the hem of her shirt, and shove it back down over her exposed stomach -eek, pasty white skin!-, and let stupid Sasuke slowly drag it up across her torso. ___He's not going to go anywhere with this, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's **not**_...

"You realize I'll be naked without your shirt, right?"

* * *

Smirking, Sasuke bent his head enough to murmur something in her ear, "You realize that this would be a good thing on my part, right?"

Pulling back, he watched her begin to freak out. Bingo.

"Ah...Ah... Well... You know, I once had this pet turtle when i was five, I named him Binky and he bit my thumb - wait, no... That was Tenten's turtle. But... Did you know Sunday is technically the first day of the week? People think it's Monday, but it's actually Sunday. That's why the song goes Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturdayyy. I mean, it's a pretty lame song but you know how perky and stupid elementary teachers are--"

Sasuke kissed her.

Sometimes, she talked _way _too much.

* * *

She wanted to hit him over the head. Like, _hi, _she was _talking_, right?

But sometimes- okay, maybe almost all of the time- kissing is better.

Until Sakura realized that she was missing school and, if you wanted to be a doctor, missing school wasnot a good thing. Because med school was expensive and they didn't't just let anyone get in, you know? Because then they would let in people like Tenten, who prefer sticking people with katanas instead of shots and- She was rambling again. In her _head_.

God, she hated parties on Sunday.

Shaking away the high Sasuke gave her with every kiss, she smacked him upside the head.

"Seriously. I hav'ta go."

But he seemed reluctant to let her go, if the tight grip around her waist was anything to judge by.

"Sasu-cakes, I have school. And if I can't cross that stupid stage at the end of the year because _someone_ won't let me go to school, _someone_ is going to be in a lot of pain."

She didn't think he believed her, but he let her go anyway.

"Thank you!"

Giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, she ran away.

With his shirt.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_subject: __I hate **everything**_.

I never want to have another Halloween. Ever.

How are you?

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject:_ _I have to agree with you._

I never even liked Halloween.

I'm fine (read: fucking hangover'd). And you?

-Thunder

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_subject: That bad, huh?_

I don't doubt that.  
It might have actually been a good Halloween, but _someone_ (I am a hundred percent blaming Candii or Piggy) spiked the punch (which I drank a bunch of, of course), and... yeah, it eventually ended up with me... waking up in an unfamiliar bed, next to a annoyingly familiar person.  
Kind of sad, really.

Oh... I've actually never had a hangover.  
I don't get them? Like, ever?

How was your Halloween?

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject:_ _Indeed it was._

You fell for the spiked punch trick, huh? You should have smelt it.

Never had a hangover? I wish I never got hangovers; I get drunk on a regular basis.

My Halloween... I went to a party. And then got shitfaced. And then... I don't know the rest?

-Thunder

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssperstar  
_Subject: I apologize. Mine was pretty shitty, too._

Shut up. I don't drink alcohol regularly.  
And it was watermelon. So if Candii spiked it with Everclear (WHICH I TOTALLY THINK IS THE CASE), I wouldn't have smelled anything, anyway.

Nope, not ever, not once. So I don't really know what people complain about. My aunt gets headaches?  
...Why. You idiot.

Why do I somehow not doubt this?

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject: __Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault._

I can see that now.  
I'm going to take this all as excuses. But whatever, you got drunk. Now you're not.

God, you're lucky. Hangovers are shit.  
What? I'm an idiot for what? Drinking? I'm drinking right now. Tho', I might just go make some schnapps latte... Later.

Because it happened to you?

-Thunder

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: Still. It's not a good thing that you feel sick, I guess._

You know nothing. Pfft.  
I don't think I did anything _too_ stupid.  
So I'm not worried.

Are you _stupid_? Drinking to get rid of a hangover?!  
... Actually, that's kind of a good philosophy.  
Schnapps latte? What?

......  
Shut up.

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject: __But then, you feel sick too. Should I apologize?_

I know a lot of things.  
Are you sure about that? You can never be too sure. Heh.  
Okay, if you say so.

No. I'm actually rather intelligent. Drinking is _good_. For _anything_.  
It is a good philosophy. And I just made myself a schnapps latte. And it's good.  
...You don't know what a schnapps latte is. You poor thing.

Make me.

-Thunder

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: Maybe you should. I might appreciate that._

Really. What a surprise.  
I can be sure. Given the type of person he is, I _know_ nothing happened.  
I do say so.

Intelligence. –**noun  
**_1. capacity for learning, reasoning, understanding, and similar forms of mental activity; aptitude in grasping truths, relationships, facts, meanings, etc._  
_2. manifestation of a high mental capacity_  
Drinking to get get rid of a hangover is _**not**_ "intelligence".  
....WHAT THE HELL IS IT.

How can I do that, pray tell?  
Your lips aren't around for me to seal off.

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Then I apologize for your sickness._

Your sarcasm isn't really appreciated.  
Oh really? And what type is he? The quiet type? They say those are the worse.  
Think about it.

Wow. You... God, I have no words for you right now.  
You actually gave me a definition. One that I already know, by the way.  
Drinking to get rid of a hangover is _common sense_.  
It's me drinking schnapps latte. I'd offer you some, but... you know. This is an email.

Huh.  
Well maybe we should fix that.

-Thunder

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa**: so i like pretty cashier boys who hit on me and give me discounts. my boobs make my life complete. alcohol's pretty nice, too. (...wow, i sound like a hot mess. sexay.)**  
sonya**: i would love to be in Sak's position. has anyone seen iron man2 yet? ISN'T THE BLACK WIDOW GORGEOUS?! &happy mother's day, mother!**  
les**: huh. what about waffles, tho'? they're delicious. i want waffles now. with whip cream. mmm.


	21. how to not fall into something beautiful

i wambo. you wambo. he, she, we wambo. like, fer seriously. anyway. thanks for the reviews!  
**disclaimer: **back the fuck up, we don't own anything. but we do own Kaori. and Karin's asshole of a father. T_T we don't like him much, 'tho.  
**dedication: **to best friends, to corrupting the innocent, to laughing, to understanding and to being all in all super amazing muffinhumpers.

les is a psycho: okay, hi. **this** is why us SasuSaku fans are looked down on and talked shit about. because all you fucking want is fluff. where they cuddle, makeout, blah, blah, blah. **NEWSFLASH. IF YOU KNEW SASUKE ONE BIT, YOU'D KNOW HE DOES NOT. CUDDLE. OKAY**. no cuddling. but that's all you look for. cuddle, makeout sessions, smut. **you don't even want a plot**. **A PLOT **- you know, basic structure of a **STORY**. **_grow up or get the fuck out because i have no time for idiots like you._**

Saraa says: Now, to the intelligent people who don't claim that we don't write in enough SasuSaku: please enjoy the sexy danger that is SuiKa.  
(to someone rude: honey, the lack of SasuSaku in this chapter is _just_ for you. and yes, i am a vindictive bitch. :])

**Another note: the aftermath of the aftermath (from last chapter) will eventually be written. but it will be thrown into the one-shot anthology. 'coz that's the way we roll. kthnxbai.**

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

There was a time, at a certain point of the year, at a specific date of a month that made Suigetsu feel... like utter shit, for a lack of a better term.

It was November as of five days ago. It was a Friday. Eleventh month of the year, fifth day of the month - Saturday. It was five in the morning and Suigetsu sat on the armchair of his house, shirtless - clad in only boxers because like every fifth of November, he woke up in a cold sweat, heart beat racing; yearning for someone who was not really there anymore. He sat in the dark, haunted eyes glued on the coffee table; on a portrait.

Said portrait was blurry because of the lack of lighting, but Suigetsu already knew the picture by heart. On the left side of the picture stood a younger version of himself, not posing, but seeming as if he were in the process of walking away; his torso was twisted towards the other person, ice-purple eyes gleaming with mirth as he stared at said person, a smirk on his lips. The other person, Suigetsu always thought, was very beautiful. With hair as silver-white as his, cut to just under her shoulders, she was striking a pose: one hand resting on her hip, which was jutting out, and the other arm raised, fingers in the classical v-sign. She was winking one of her bright, ice-turquoise eyes, and there was a bigbigbig grin on her lips.

Suigetsu ran a hand through his messy hair and sighed.

Today was November fifth.

His mother had been dead three years, today.

Suigetsu hated this date.

_"Remember, remember, the fifth of November."_

Stupid movie - it had _no _idea.

Standing up, he walked towards his computer in a robotic trance.

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _You're probably sleeping..._

Hey, uh... you mind coming over my house?  
I need your help to bake a cake.

-Sharky

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _It's six AM. Why?_

You are very, very lucky I'm awake (my dad came home last night. I was not amused).  
I also have no idea where you live. Come pick me up?

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Because I... I'll tell you when you get here._

Why'd he suddenly reappear?  
I'll be there in fifteen minutes.

-Sharky

* * *

To: sharkbaithoohaha  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _...You so owe me for this._

I don't know. But he's drunker then I've ever seen him, and I want to get the hell out of my house.  
Hurry, please.

...

...

...

I can't believe I'm asking this, but are you okay?

-Candii

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching  
From: sharkbaithoohaha  
Subject: _Okay, I'll repay you someway._

Okay, I'm two stop-lights away from your neighborhood.

...

I think the real question is, are _you _okay?  
Wait for me outside.

-Sharky

* * *

Karin peeked out the front window - it was still dark out. Jeezus, who needed to bake a cake at _six in the morning_? Had the boy lost it entirely? (Karin pinched herself and bit her lip; the pain made her wince - _you do not like him, you do not, you **will not like him**; it doesn't matter how cute he is, **he's just a fuck-buddy**, do **not** let this go to your head, stupidstupidstupid-_)

A snore from upstairs jolted Karin. She clenched her jaw.

Forget it. He could have been the goddamn devil, and she still would have sold him her soul to get the hell out of this house. She stuck her head out the front door - damn, it was cold; Karin figured that looking as attractive as she did in her pretty, black high-waisted-skirt and sheer-sheer black nylons was worth it. She grabbed a thigh-length woolen jacket -one of those pretty black ones that never went out of fashion-, her grey slouch boots, and stuffed a pair of black leather gloves into her pocket. She tucked her favourite blue scarf into the jacket's front, and slipped out the front door, gray purse hanging off her arm.

She hoped she didn't have to wait long - it really was so cold. She shuddered - just as a silver Corvette pulled up, and she scampered over to it without further ado.

Karin opened the door, and slid into the car.

She blinked at Suigetsu. Crap, he looked like _shit_. She half-yawned, and murmured "Mornin', Sui..."

* * *

"Hey," he managed to croak, his eyes never breaking away from the stop sign five houses down (crap, did he hate that damn fuckin' number).

Once he was sure she was securely strapped in and that the door was closed, Suigetsu drove off, one hand gripping the steering wheel, the other one running through his messy hair. He didn't even bother to brush it when he changed into his black skinnies (along with a black t-shirt and a black Northface jacket. And black vans, those too.), it had been a miracle that he managed to grab his cell-phone. Well, fuck, he had to go back into the house to get his car keys.

He was complete shit at the moment and... well, he still hated the fact that Karin of all people was seeing him so defenseless.

"Your dad," he croaked out again, and he made the effort to clear his throat, "wazhe doin' at your place?"

He peered at her from the corner of his eyes; the Little Dude was too tired to flail, but the butterflies were still partying in his stomach.

* * *

Karin shrugged. "I du'no... He showed up last night. He smelled like whiskey. I shoved him in the bathtub, let him puke a couple times, and then put him to bed... He was snoring when I left. It's probably mom. I don't care, honestly."

She looked over at him, again. He was stupidly pretty. It wasn't fair. She stared at him, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Okay, if he seriously didn't explain just _why the hell_ he had email her _this early_ in the morning, she was going to have a fit. But he didn't say anything, and Karin could only press her head against the window, close her eyes, and feel the influx of light every time the street lamps flashed over her face. It was kinda nice.

* * *

When they got to his house, Suigetsu became hesitant.

But what the fuck, he decided after turning the ignition off just as soon as he parked the car in the driveway, she was already here. Sighing for the _n_th time that morning, Suigetsu unlocked the doors and stepped out of the car. "C'mon," he murmured, nudging his head to the door, "behold the house of mess."

He was about to stick the house key into the hole when he noticed that... he didn't even lock the door. He growled at himself for becoming so distracted as he slammed the door open. He turned on the lights and threw the keys on the "welcoming table" as his mother had called it. While he unzipped his jacket, he turned to look at her, almost feeling relieved that she had no care of the mess on her face.

Usually all he got were the predictable "Ohmygod, clean up," "Dude... what a fuckin' mess," and "You lazy bastard, clean". Shrugging, led her to his kitchen, where the grocery bags (filled with the supplies needed for the cake) he brought in last night still lay.

She was waiting for him to tell her what was up - he didn't want to tell her, though. Maybe, if he was lucky, she'd pick up the vibe: i'll-tell-you-later, it said. Maybe, but this was Karin.

So it was highly unlikely.

* * *

Karin stripped off her coat, tugged her boots off one-at-a-time, and followed him into the kitchen. Meh, it was messy, but then, he was a _guy_, who _lived alone_. Seriously, how could anyone ever expect anything different? She tossed her hair over her shoulder, and set her bag down on the table - one of the only clean places in the room.

He was fluttering -what the fuck, _fluttering_?- around the kitchen, looking nervous and bothered.

Okay, she got it, he would tell her whatever was bothering him _later_.

But Karin did not like '_later_'. It implied that this was going to be an all-day thing (_you do not want it to be an all day thing, **you are not dating him**, ASJFKL, YOU ARE SO STUPID, STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID_-).

So Karin tilted her head, and stalked up to him, predator stalking prey in her every movement. "You suck, you know," she told him sincerely.

* * *

Suigetsu froze mid pacing and turned to her. Well, fuck, he was too tired to even glare at her. Tired, tired, tired. He was always tired on the fifth of November. Stupid month, stupid date, stupid, stupid, stupid. He stared at her, blank look on his face. And then he nodded.

He sighed, "Yeah, I know."

He wasn't expecting what happened next, though.

* * *

She jumped on him.

Slung her arms around his neck, let him support her entire weight, the whole works. And she just smiled at him, looking, for all the world, the picture of happiness.

"Hey, don't look so sad!" she told him. "You suck, but you're way more fun when you're smiling!"

Karin knew he was probably gonna shake her off -he was still weird about being touched when they weren't screwing, freak, how did that even make _sense_?-, but Karin didn't even care. She'd never seen him look so depressed in her entire life, and it was way too early for this, and she was probably going to regret this whole situation tomorrow (_wow_, that sounded a lot like a night that had Ino, alcohol and many, many boys as a combination), but she just... didn't even care.

She'd really never seen him look so... _lost_ before.

And it kind of... _hurt_. Ugh.

* * *

He swallowed, Adam's apple bobbling up and down. He was actually frozen stiff, having her latched on to him. He was torn between liking it and not liking it at all. Of course, being the stubborn, hard-headed fool he was, he was going to choose the latter. Which he did.

And normally, he'd shake her off his person. But he was too _tired _for that. Too _tired. _

(Maybe he'd get Kiba and the other idiots and hit the bar tonight. Drink himself _numb_.)

Sighing, he sagged against the counter and stared at the bar-table-thing. "Look... It seems crazy," he licked his lower lip, "baking a cake at this hour. But... I do it every year... on this date. Actually this is the first time I'm _baking _one; I usually buy them...."

He was babbling. Oh, how disgusting. What the hell was wrong with him? Suigetsu turned to look at the girl, blinked and tried really hard not to admire her beauty.

"Today's... important. I just need your help on this one thing. I'll take you home right after."

* * *

Huh. So he wasn't gonna shake her off. That was new. And today was... important. Also new. Arms around waist, and not in a 'why-are-we-not-fucking-right-now' manner. _Definitely_ new. _Scarily_ new. Huh. Karin tilted her head. He really did look so very, very depressed... And no one ought to be left alone when they looked like that - Karin would know.

Being left alone when you were as depressed as Suigetsu looked... it was never a good thing. Never.

"Nah," she told him quietly "I'll stick around, if only to make your life miserable."

They stayed like that, frozen in place, Karin's arms wrapped around his neck in what could _almost_ be considered a hug, for a few more minutes. Then she said "You know, if you want to bake this cake, you're gonna have to let me go. 'Coz I can't bake when I'm curled up in someone's arms, stupid."

* * *

Part of him wanted to say he didn't feel like letting her go; because he didn't. She was warm and it just... Ew, Suigetsu had just disgusted himself to a whole new level. He dropped his arms to his sides and nodded, allowing a ghost of a smirk to appear on his lips.

"Alright," he sighed, "tell me what to do, Toots. 'Coz I sure as hell forgot from the last time."

Karin had her hands on her hips now, looking around the kitchen with a blank look. "Well, for starters we're going to need bowls."

Suigetsu nodded, "Already covered." He walked to the island and dug around the bags, taking out brand new bowls along with a spatula and a mixer. Bah, he didn't even know how he remembered he was going to need that. But what the hell.

She raised a brow and moved towards him and the bags. "Let's see what you got."

Suigetsu moved away before any part of her body met with his.

* * *

HE WAS _SO_ _SKITTISH_. And it was _so weird_. Karin couldn't even describe it - he was absolutely _refusing_ to touch any part of her skin, even when it was just a barely-there brush of fingers against fingers. What was his _problem_?

Seriously, if this kept up, Karin was going to have to do something drastic. And drastic could never be good - the last time she had done something _drastic_, it had involved whipped cream, kissing strangers, and dancing in the rain.

Actually, maybe drastic was good, now that she thought about it...

But her hair kept getting in her face. That was _annoying_. "Hmm, Sui, hold on, I need'ta find something to get my hair out of the way with..."

She raced to her bag - still sitting on the table - and pulled out a hair tie. Bah, she didn't want to put it in a ponytail, because she did that _yesterday_, and doing the same thing twice in a row was just _boring_. So instead, Karin put it in a quick, loose braid that hung comfortably down her back. Much, much better. And her pretty clothes wouldn't get dirty - Karin really did like aprons, when they weren't... pink and frilly. The one she was wearing now was white and pale yellow, and Karin actually really liked it.

It randomly fit really well, too. Weird.

She shook her head to herself, grabbed the flour, and started measuring out the ingredients for a simple chocolate cake - nothing fancy. She hummed as she buzzed around the kitchen, getting the place ready, turning the oven on, pulling ingredients out, etc. etc.

She had more important things to do then wonder why the apron fit her so well.

* * *

His were downcast as he mixed and mixed and mixed - the sole job Karin always gave him.

It was kind of distracting - the way she hummed and flailed around; cracking eggs, plugging this in, unplugging that, and all those other things that were making Suigetsu want to sneak a peek at her in her domain. But... he didn't. Because, like, really, what the fuck was up with all this shit. Just because he came to a drastic agreement with the Little Dude (who was hiding under some covers, sulking because he, too, was too tired to flail over Karin) did not mean he was going to do all these things to/for her.

So he tried to concentrate on this awful day and his mixing ("Until it's smooth, Sui,") and push away the urges and the want and just back the fuck up from it all. Because... Just because.

(The Little Dude sulked at the fact that their agreement was only between them two. Karin wasn't all that into it. Nor would she ever be.)

At the realization that, yes, in fact, these new feelings were single and not reciprocated (thankgodthankgod, fool) all of Suigetsu's walls went up and he got distracted and therefore he found himself looking up at this damn girl that found her way perfectly inside him and....

...She was wearing his mother's apron.

Suigetsu froze and it was as if he was seeing his mother all over again. But it wasn't his mother because his mother had silver-white hair; not red. And his mother had ice-turquoise eyes; not red. And he loved his mother... Karin was different.

But that didn't stop him from staring at her.

* * *

By six-forty-eight AM (seriously. What the fuck. Six AM? Asshole), the simple cake was in the oven, filling the room with the heavenly scent of melted chocolate. _Yum_.

Karin stood by the window -wow, déjà vu, much?- tugged on her braid, pulled the tie out of it, and let her hair spill around her face. Hm, _much_ more comfortable. She looked over at Suigetsu - he was sitting at the table, staring at his hands, and, well, there were really no other words for it.

He just _looked like shit_.

Sure, reiterate the point, but it was true. He looked like he'd been through hell.

Karin knew that look.

So she went down, sat next to him, and rested her head on her propped up arm. She stared at him from over her glasses, and asked, slowly, "Why did you email me? _Me_, of all people. We don't even really like each other, you know."

The lie sat in her stomach, and twisted, like a living, breathing thing. Ugh. (_You don't like him, and I'm not going to be a doctor_, a Sakura-voice muttered in a bothersome tone in Karin's head. Karin mentally growled, and shut the Sakura-voice up with the Ino voice in a cage at the back of her head. _Eff it_.)

* * *

He bit the inside of his cheek and glared at his hands.

Fuck it, he'd just tell her a bit. Because he didn't want to deal with any mushy stuff. Not that Karin seemed like the type to go all "Awww, I'm so sorry", but you gotta be safe about these things. So he sighed and turned to look at her with a blank look.

"A small," he crinkled his nose at this, "picnic. I'll show you something while we're there."

She looked skeptical, eyes narrowing down and lips already opening to let some sort of rebuttal. Or whatever. But he didn't even give her time; he turned his eyes to the table, hand digging for his vibrating cellphone. And so, the messages started.

**From: Idiot  
To: douchebag  
dude, i'll be at the cemetery around noon, okay? you cool, right? dude? my mom says to not wallow so much. it's not good for the soul.**

Naruto and Kushina.

Before he could reply, there was another message.

**From: Mutt  
To: Douchebag  
you awake dude? d'you need me to check on you before i head to work? **

Kiba.

And, again, there was another message before he could reply to the last.

**From: Retard  
To: Douche-Bag  
Sometimes destiny is not all it's cracked up to be. I shall bribe someone to get drunk and dance at the bar.**

Suigetsu rolled his eyes. Neji could be so weird.

...FUCK IT. He just wasn't going to reply to anyone!

**From: Emo Prick  
To: Douche Bag  
The bar opens at six today. Drinks on me tonight. **

Those stupid idiots. Suigetsu couldn't help but smirk and shake his head at the screen of his phone. He decided to at least let them know that, no, he isn't suicidal.

**From: Douchebag  
To: Mutt; Retard; Emo Prick; Idiot  
dudes, i'm fine. i'll see you guys at the bar around seven.... thanks.**

Stuffing his phone back into his pocket and turned back to Karin. He sighed again, "And I don't... dislike you or whatever. I'm indifferent."

* * *

Karin stayed quiet as she watched him send a single text. Huh. What on _earth_ could today be? And _since when_ was he just _indifferent_? The last time Karin had checked, he hadn't even liked to breathe the same air she did, except when he was.

...

Boys were so fucking confusing. Seriously.

Instead, she focused on the one comment she _could_ dissect; could needle him about. But then, he didn't look like he needed needling, and Karin figured that she ought to be at least a little bit nice. He just had no fight in him, and that was sad. "A picnic? Really? I like picnics, I guess."

It went silent in the small kitchen, and Suigetsu was still staring at his hands. Karin fiddled with her hair, bit her lip, fiddled with her hair some more, and then managed "Hey, don't look so sad. Smile, okay? You don't - I dunno, you don't look like yourself. It's... _weird_."

* * *

Blinking, Suigetsu turned to stare at her.

He couldn't help feeling this... weird... feeling. And you know what, he had _never _felt this way before. About anyone. Or anything. It was fuckin' weird andandand... scary. Jeez, Suigetsu felt utterly lame! He thought it was only Kiba who was gonna go down like this because out of the two, Kiba's heart was the soft one, when it came to girls. Suigetsu wasn't. Because he practiced and practiced until he mastered the art of not caring.

And then this girl came around.

Part of him hated her for what she'd done to him. But...

...He found himself leaning towards her... Those lips... He... Those lips always grasped his attention - always made him want more of them... And... Just... this once. C'mon. Closer, closer, closer, closer...

She placed a hand on his chest and gently pushed him back before their lips ever met, "Nuh-uh," she murmured. "_Definitely_ not the time for that."

Suigetsu sighed as he watched her make her way to the oven.

* * *

It was too early for sex.

Period.

Freakin' insatiable boy.

And... just... seriously. No. Track record for the morning: father comes home, staggering drunk. Six AM emails. _Cake baking_ (because _that_ didn't have any connotations _at all_, now _did_ it?), and then... well, he wouldn't tell her what the hell was bothering him. Asshole. Jerk. Stupid-head.

Karin muttered almost-angrily under her breath, as he reached down to pull the baked cake out. It smelled good; oh, _chocolate_. And she could feel his gaze on her skin - it made her shudder. He had no idea what he did to her.

Stupid life and it's stupid, annoying, ridiculously yummy sensations...

* * *

Suigetsu shook his head, getting the thought of her anything _about _her out of his mind as he looked for a container to carry the cake. Once it was found, he placed it on the island, followed by eating utensils, canned drinks, napkins and plates. Searching deeper, he found the weird basket-thing his mother _always _used when she made them go out to the park for quality time.

That was before, though--

He shook his head again and cracked his knuckles as a distraction.

"We're supposed to let it cool, right?" he asked.

Karin nodded her head, "Ten minutes - five minimum."

"Okay. I'll be in the living room." He turned around and walked out of the kitchen. It was far too stuffy for him in there. Far, far, far too stuffy.

* * *

Five minutes passed. Karin watched the clock more then a little bit obsessively, her eyes locked on the glowing green numbers.

How could it still be _this_ awkward, between them, after everything? After Halloween? _Why_ was it still so damn _awkward_?!

Her eyes stayed locked on the clock.

Okay, Karin wasn't a fool. She understood that he needed time to gather himself together -he sure as hell looked like he needed it, anyways-, but, _damnit_, did he have to be so freakin' close-lipped about where the hell they were going?

Karin didn't like walking into _anything_ blind - it wasn't in her nature, and it was just such a _stupid_ thing to do. She stared at the ground, glanced up at the clock, and then went back to staring at the ground. She would give him three more minutes - just three.

Her stomach twisted.

Why did she have a feeling that this was going to fuck with her head, hmm? _Why_?

Her stomach twisted a second time, and Karin set her jaw grimly. She'd always had good instincts, and she didn't think they were going wonky on her now. This was probably going to be exceedingly painful.

_Great_. Just _friggin' great_.

* * *

When he walked back into the kitchen, Karin was already packing the cake into the container; the other utensils were already in the basket-thing. Swallowing sigh number 3945818, he grabbed the basket (just as soon as Karin placed the container in) and led her out of the kitchen, down the entry-hall (where he grabbed his car keys) and out the door.

Suigetsu knew she was practically _dying _to know where he was taking her. And part of him didn't want to tell her because he didn't want her to refuse to accompany him once she knew where it was they were going. The other part just didn't have the heart to say it.

So instead, he turned the car's ignition on, waited for her get inside the car, and then drove off. Allowing her to choose the radio station (he inwardly cringed at the reminder of her 90's boy-band fetish), he glued his eyes on the road - the one that he only took once every year.

He sneaked a peak at her from the corner of his eyes, glared and then turned back to the road.

This meant nothing - _nothing_, okay, Suigetsu?

He hated the fact that his inner self didn't agree.

Stupid.

* * *

Karin blinked.

She knew this road.

Oh dear god. They were heading to the cemetery. Cake. _Cake_. It was _November_.

Her fingers curled into fists, nails biting into the palms of her hands, to keep from throwing herself on him. Christ, no wonder he looked like shit, it was the anniversary of his mother's death. Why had he even woken up, today?

Karin knew she didn't have that kind of strength.

His knuckles on his left hand were white on the steering wheel; his right hand was clenched on the clutch.

Karin bit her lip. How the hell was she supposed to comfort him if he didn't want to be touched? Karin understood the physical; touching, being touched, it made _sense_, and everything - everything _hurt less_. And Suigetsu - god, he looked like he was going to break.

She did the only thing she could. She carefully (_god, be careful,_ Hinata whispered, _he's hurting so much already_) reached out, and, just as carefully, laid her left hand on top of his right, hooking her fingers through his.

'_Please don't let him take this the wrong way_,' Karin mentally begged. '_I don't want to hurt him_.'

* * *

_What _was she doing. _Why _was she touching him.

No.

He... He didn't want to be touched. Especially by _her_. Because he _didn't _want her to like him and he _didn't _want to like her any more than he had allowed himself to. The right thing to do was shake her hand off of his, it was the _right _thing to do. But Suigetsu didn't have the heart to do such a thing. He... It wasn't like he was afraid to hurt her feelings. Not that they'd be hurt - this was _Karin_. It was just... He... He didn't know, okay! He just didn't want to do it.

So he clenched his jaw, clutched the steering wheel all the more tighter and continued to drive; turning when he had to, stopping when he had to, until they finally arrived to the cemetery. He sighed deeply and parked his car on the closest parking space he could find. Then...

...Then he ran a hand through his hair and tried really hard to seem indifferent.

He got out of the car, grabbing the basket as he did so and after locking the doors, led her towards the direction where his mother was. As they walked his eyes were downcast, his teeth biting at the inside of his cheek as hard as he could.

He blinked once they arrived to a specific grave, "I'll be right back."

He handed her the basket and when she took it, he jogged towards that little store-thing they had passed by at the entrance. Karin felt more than awkward - but that wasn't the _beginning _of her problems. She wasn't able to delve into the thoughts.

Suigetsu came back with a bouquet of forget-me-nots. He crouched down and fixed them up on the vase that was always there; then he cleaned the ground up a bit, getting rid of the weeds growing around the gravestone.

"This," he said, staring down at the grave with a soft expression, "is my mother."

* * *

Karin didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say, didn't know - god, she had no idea how to _be_. And this was different then anything she had ever done before, and really, even though she had no idea how to act, she figured she might as well greet the woman properly.

So Karin sat down, and said "Hello, Kaori. It's nice to meet you. My name's Karin. I'm seventeen, and my birthday is in June."

She paused, tucked a strand of slightly-crimped-from-that-braid hair behind her ear, and then continued. "Your son is a really - good guy. Sure he can be a real jerk, but he's also kind of sweet, and really funny when he doesn't mean to be... You should be proud. And I hope you know that everything is okay. He's getting along. I'm pretty sure Naruto's mom takes care of him pretty well, but, uhm, I promise I won't let him go hungry or anything, okay?"

She smiled tiredly. "I taught him to bake a cake. I'm sorry that you never got the chance, but I thought... that... well, that he should know how. I hope you like it, it's just... just chocolate. I can't make much else."

* * *

Suigetsu's eyes were wide with surprise as he turned to stare at her... having a conversation with his mom.

As she talked to her, he couldn't help but just... stare. He swallowed and tried to look away, busying himself with taking out the cake and the plates and the napkins and the eating utensils. And the blanket where Karin could sit. He licked his bottom lip and turned back to the grave and then Karin.

He had no idea what he was feeling - but if it was up to him, he'd bring her every year. He glared down at the flowers at that thought. G_od, Ma', what did I get myself into?_

"My mom," Suigetsu said after Karin grew quiet, "was like your blonde friend. You'd think that after my dad left her - he took my older brother with him-, that would bring her down, but it didn't. She always said things happened for a reason." He turned to look at her before going back to tracing Kaori's name with his eyes, "I dunno if her death had a reason - maybe it was a punishment for blowing up that stupid abandoned building. It was abandoned for a reason."

Grinning, but the grin not reaching his eyes, he shook his head. "When I got out of juvy, my mom was already in chemo. My fuckin' dad... not even my fuckin' brother came for her funeral. It was just me. A kid - I was only fifteen when it happened. Naruto's mom had to step in; so did Kiba's and Sasuke's... but... It's not the same."

He turned his smirk to her, "I think... she woulda liked you if she actually met you."

* * *

Karin just smiled a tiny smile. "I wish I could have met her."

She stood up, dusted the dirt off her skirt and knees from where she'd been kneeling, and took the few steps over to where he'd set up the picnic.

She sat down next to him, and was tempted to curl into his side (_do **not** throw yourself on him, my god, you **slut**_. _He's definitely not in the mood. And you're a whore_), but she restrained herself. Instead, with a smile threatening at the corners of her lips, she murmured "Cake for breakfast? That's not very healthy, you know."

He gave her a blank look, and Karin just shrugged. "It's something Sakura's aunt always told us, when we were kids, and I was staying at Sak's house for - extended periods of time. But Tsunade's a doctor, so she was, and is, away a lot... and then Sakura's adoptive uncle-person -his name's Jiraiya, and he's insane-, he would take care of us. He'd let us have ice cream for breakfast, because he couldn't cook..."

She stopped, and looked up at the beginning-to-lighten sky. "That was a long time ago, tho'."

It was quiet for a minute, before she murmured, delight in her eyes, "Oh, look... the sun's rising..."

* * *

He stared at her... she, admiring the sun and he admiring her. Oh, the disgusting irony.

But... fuck, he couldn't help it anymore. She was so... so... pretty. And he wanted to keep her. But... maybe she didn't want to be kept. And if she did, it was definitely not by him. He smiled at the irony - wow, such an ironic life he was living now. What happened to just getting by, screwing girls as he went? Now he was... dare he say it... feeling _something _for someone. (_That's what you get for making fun of me, asshole_, the Kiba in his head grumbled.)

Without him knowing, his hand slowly raised up, reaching to touch her cheek - maybe even move the locks of hair falling in front of her eyes. It was then that she turned to him and he immediately dropped his hand back to his side.

"If," he began, looking up at the sky, then at his mother's grave, then back at her. "If your family's the way they are... You should come live with me. It's quiet there."

Suigetsu shrugged and tried to look noncommittal. Because he wasn't. Pfft, no his heart wasn't racing. What makes you say that?

* * *

**DOES NOT COMPUTE.**

**DOES NOT COMPUTE.**

**SYSTEM FAILURE. ****DOES NOT COMPUTE.**

**CLOSING DOWN NOW.**

**KTHNXBAI.**

**-KARIN'S BRAIN**

* * *

Karin was _speechless_.

Seriously.

No words.

Had he just asked her to go live with him, or something?

...

Well, hell.

Karin smiled at him. Just smiled. Really smiled. It had been a long time since she had really smiled. "I've got a lot of clothes."

He shrugged nonchalantly. "That's okay. I've got a lot of space."

"Maybe, jerk. But you have to let me be crazy and clean everything. And only if I'm feeling like it," she told him quietly. But to completely refute her words, she leaned into his side, and closed her eyes. This was much more comfortable, anyways. And he was warm. And, okay, he was _really_ cute.

And, _of course_, it really had nothing (and that was a lie - more like _everything_) to do with the fact that he made her laugh. Karin curled her fingers through his, and sat, quiet and comfortable, in the dazzling light from the sunrise.

* * *

This time, Suigetsu didn't want to pull away from her. This time... Suigetsu didn't feel disgusted with himself.

He relaxed, and took a deep breath. A flash of red in front of him made him blink and grab the... lock of hair. He inspected it, much curiousness in his face and then he twirled it around and around and around. A small smile came to his lips, twirling the lock of her redredred hair, watching her eat her cake from his peripheral vision, being here in his mother's "presence". He... felt better now.

He leaned back a bit, still twirling Karin's hair in his fingers, and stared up at the sky. He liked being here sometimes. In his mother's grave, just sitting there, thinking, analyzing things, allowing the stress or the angst to leave him because he found it peaceful. Sometimes he'd talk aloud to her. When he came with the guys, all of them said at least a sentence to her - even Neji and Sasuke. It was amusing and reassuring all in one. But being here with Karin was different... It was like he could see his mother's teasing smile. The hybrid of ah-I-see-what-this-is and ooh-she's-a-keeper-bring-her-over-more-often.

Suigetsu shook his head and chuckled.

* * *

Karin started when she realized that his fingers were curled in her hair.

"You're ridiculous," she told him, half-sleepy and half-serious. But it was kind of hard to be serious when he was running his fingers through her hair like it was silk, or spun silver, or something equally as precious. How odd.

And then her phone rang.

Karin groaned, and muttered into Suigetsu's shoulder "Don't make me answer it, don't make me..."

He just chuckled, and reached around her, to pick up her phone. He flipped it open, and answered "Hello?" -her knees turned to jello at the tone- just as Karin saw the number.

Oh, dear, holy mother of shit. That was her home number. And that meant - oh, _FUCK NO_, that meant it was her dad. Karin winced. This was going to get messy in about a second and a half.

* * *

Suigetsu's eyes narrowed instantaneously.

The old man on the other line was going on about whores, and how whores will bear whores and how Karin was no different than her mother andandand--

--Suigetsu was growling. Well, fuck, he was _shaking. _This man... Had no fuckin' idea how to speak to a woman. To a girl. To his _daughter_. What the fuck was his problem?! Suigetsu's fist clenched until his nails dug into his palms, his other hand clutching the phone with mucho force.

_"You're exactly the same kind of scum as that pathetic excuse of a woman is. I'm not surprised at all--"_

Suigetsu grabbed Karin's hand before she could take the phone away from his ear; he turned his death-glare towards her andandand. Oh fuckin' hell, he was losing it. He was losing it, oh god, oh, god.

"Listen you fuckin' son of a bitch. Don't fuckin' talk to her like that." He was snarling on to the phone, his hold on Karin's wrist almost bruising. "Learn how to fuckin' speak to someone - more importantly, your fuckin' daughter, you alcoholic bastard--"

Before Suigetsu could go any further, Karin snatched the phone with her other hand.

* * *

Karin sighed into the phone's mouthpiece. Ugh. "Hi Daddy, yes, yes, I know. No, mum has _not_ been home. Yes, I got the check. No - wait, you did _what_? Oh, okay. Yes. No. ... No, the whiskey is locked away for a _reason_, don't get me started, I was there, and I _remember_ what the doctor said, and - _no_, Daddy! No, I'm not coming home, I'm- _NO_. I- ...Yes, fine, I'll call mum, jeez, alright, yes, I'll see you later, goodbye Daddy."

She hung up the phone with a final 'click'.

Suigetsu was _shaking_. Uh-oh, bad.

She had forgotten he had a thing about women being spoken to badly. She sat up, and looked him straight in the eye. "Sui, calm down. Everything's fine. That's... pretty normal."

"NORMAL?! NORMAL?! KARIN, HE'S... HE'S A FUCKIN' BASTARD! YOU SHOULDN'T PUT UP WITH THAT BULLSHIT!"

She grabbed his face, and glared at him squarely. "Yeah, he is. But he's still my dad. And this _isn't_ his day - it's your mom's. So just calm down. I'll punch him later, when he's sober, okay?"

* * *

He shook his head and stood up, "I actually don't want to be here anymore."

She was staring at him, he knew. But Suigetsu didn't fuckin' care right now. He was utterly pissed and he needed to get a move on before something else made him snap. He promised himself he wouldn't snap in front of his mother any more and here he was wanting to beat the shit out of Karin's dad.

"But it's your mother's _day_, Sui."

"I don't care."

"Yes you do."

"No. I. Don't."

He turned his heated glare towards her, "Are you comin' or are you going to stay?"

* * *

Karin stared straight back at him, and raised an eyebrow. "Why should I leave? I want to eat some cake with your mum. My dad's a jerk, yeah, but you get used to him. Just... please sit down, and chillax, okay?"

Okay, taking stock: Karin had cake, was sitting in a pool of early-morning sunshine, there was _no wind_, and she was _happy_. Why the _hell_ would she want to go anywhere else?

"You can go if you want. I'll call Ino for a ride later, but I'm gonna stay with your mom. I'm not moving. Kay-thanks," she told him, rather frankly. She opened the picnic basket, and ate a forkful of cake. She was _not going anywhere_.

* * *

"Whatever," He spat at her and turned around.

He stuffed his hands into his jacket's pockets and walked back towards the car. He took out his cellphone and stared at the screen, taking a deep breath as he walked through the big, black iron gates and towards his car. Before he even decided to step inside, he stopped and leaned his forehead on the roof of it and sighed. With closed eyes he tried to calm himself down; there was this ringing noise going through his ears and... he couldn't really stop what he was feeling.

Part of him was pissed off because that man was disrespecting a woman, a girl, his daughter and that was just not fuckin' cool at all. The other part was pissed off because it was Karin that was being disrespected.

And he was kind of scared on how the second part outshone the first one.

Shaking his head he opened the door and sat down, slamming it closed... But he didn't start the car. He didn't do anything but sit and stare. Oh god... oh god...

...He didn't have the fuckin' heart to leave her there.

What the fuck was he _becoming_?

* * *

Karin shrugged. Whatever.

...

...

...

Okay, so she was a _little_ bit hurt. Just a _little_.

"You know, Kaori, your son is really stupid. Like, _really_. That's not even a big thing, in my family. At least mom wasn't home, this time. That was messy, last time... And then they ended up sleeping together. And neither of them remembered it the next morning. God, they're _so stupid_..."

Karin took another bite of cake, chewed thoughtfully, and then swallowed.

"I'm... so much like my mom. It's kind of scary, sometimes. I mean, we both fight unfairly, and we both always go with our hearts over our heads... And my dad... I don't even know. I don't even know how he and my mom ever fell in love. They're... _so_ different. It's almost _painful_, how different they are."

She paused, and listened to the small breeze that had appeared out of nowhere. It was warm, and almost motherly - Karin wasn't superstitious, but she was sure that Suigetsu's mother was listening - she knew it in her soul.

"And... and _because_ I'm so much like my mom, I'm _so scared_ of getting into a relationship like the one she has with my dad. From everything she's told me, they were _explosive_ when they were first together, and first married... And also, Suigetsu... he's... _so much_ like my dad, when my dad's sober. They're both insane when they're angry, and it takes a lot to calm them down, but they're so easy to get along with and fight with and..."

Karin wrapped her arms around her knees.

"I'm scared," she told the warm wind.

"I'm really, really scared. Mom says that Daddy makes her feel alive, which is why they're still legally together... But I never want that. Ever. Because it _killed_ me inside to listen to them fight, when I was a kid. I _never_ want to put my children through that. _Never_."

"So I think... I think I'm just gonna have to back off, and maybe give it some time..." she murmured, sadness hurting her throat (_stupidstupidstupid you went and let him in and fell in love with him. You are **so stupid** that it hurts my brain. **Idiot**_).

The wind stayed warm, and lifted Karin's hair a little. Karin smiled, and took this as acceptance. She stood up, and stretched - checked her phone (jeezus, it was nine, already), and started gathering up all the leftovers from the picnic. Huh, she'd have to get this back to him, at some point...

Karin finished packing up, and headed straight back towards the entrance.

It almost _hurt_ when she saw a familiar silver Corvette, _still_ parked exactly where it had been more then two hours before. Christ.

* * *

Suigetsu fell asleep against the window of his car. He had no dream - it was all black and... just as he was about to start dreaming, someone knocked on the window.

He jumped up and looked around with bleary amethyst eyes. His eyes landed on Karin and he instantly unlocked the doors, and watched her walk around to the passenger's seat. He wanted to apologize, now that he was calm, but he wouldn't. So instead, he remained silent, knowing she just wanted to go home.

To the bastard that was her father.

His hold on the steering wheel tightened, but he said nothing as he drove off towards the direction of her home.

* * *

Karin watched the road pass, and out of the corner of her eye, she watched Suigetsu's knuckles get progressively whiter and whiter; it was a little scary. He was gritting his teeth, his jaw clenching and unclenching at more and more rapid intervals, until it was just sitting at constantly-tight.

She really wanted to touch him, tell him to stop the car, take them back to his place - anything, just to get him to calm down.

But there was that annoying little _bitch_ of a voice who kept reminding her that, despite her father's many flaws, he _was_ drunk, and if he broke anything, her mother was _not_ going to be happy...

Oh, yeah, and that _other_ annoying little _bitch_ of a voice who was insisting that, _hi_? Didn't you just make a promise to _stay away_ from him? (_stupidstupidstupid - why am I even **trying**?_)

Karin pulled her hair over her shoulder, letting it create a thick red curtain between her and the boy driving her home. Space, space, she needed to find some space until she could figure out exactly if she was ready for anything other then... casual sex.

Karin bit her lip.

WHY WERE BOYS SO DUMB?!

* * *

When Suigetsu pulled over in front of her house, he didn't even turn to look at her.

She got out, closed the door and left, and before she was even inside the house...

...He was gone.

Karin's stomach twisted, and she slipped inside her house.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

As far as Kiba was concerned, this was one of the worst days of the year. Seriously. Kaori had been one of his favourite people...

And Suigetsu fell to fucking pieces.

And it was hard to fucking watch, in good conscienceness. And so that was why the five of them -Naruto, Uchiha, Hyuuga, himself, and Suigetsu- were at a bar, drinking themselves into something like being plastered.

The hangover was going to be killer.

But for Suigetsu to forget exactly what today was, it was fine - Kiba could care less how much it was going to hurt, it would be worth it.

* * *

Naruto had only seen Suigetsu cry once.

Just once.

And that one time, he had bawled his eyes out - silently, because men don't sob - until they were bleary and red and puffy. Naruto had never seen Suigetsu as lost as he had been, on the day his mother died. To be honestly truthful, it had broken Naruto's heart at the sight of someone like Suigetsu breaking down.

That's why he was uncharacteristically quiet on November fifths. Quiet, quiet, quiet until he was drunk as hell. Or until Suigetsu was.

Because then everything was seemingly alright.

* * *

Sasuke had never been one for affections - not openly, anyway.

He cared about these idiots, he wouldn't lie. They were his friends, after all. When Kaori died... Sasuke had gone into a mild shock. He had not known how to react to that... and was just _there _for Suigetsu. He did not talk, he did not hug him; he did not do anything but allow Suigetsu to feel and see his presence.

It was the least he could do. Because as much of an ass Sasuke was, no one deserved to lose their mother.

The bartender handed him another shot, Sasuke passed it to Suigetsu.

_Keep them coming._

* * *

Blinking the haze away, Suigetsu accepted the next shot and drank it all down in one go.

His anger was long forgotten - his anger towards... that one man. But... he felt something else. Like... something like loosing your first toy-car. Empty and irreplaceable. He didn't know why.... but he felt it andandand... Neji passed him another shot, Suigetsu welcomed it with open arms.

The bar part was always his favorite, because he'd go numb, he'd forget about those beautiful aqua eyes and he'd be himself again. But best of all, he'd knock out right away; no trouble at all.

And then that empty, bitter feeling came back.

"Women suck," he slurred.

* * *

Kiba glanced at his very-very-very drunk best friend through hazy eyes. Everything was a little bit sparkly, and Kiba was kinda considering calling Ino - was she okay?

...

W_ooooo_w, he had not been this drunk in a _long_ time.

And Suigetsu - what the fuck, was he moaning about _chicks_? Since fucking _when_? "Dude, wha' the hell- _you_? _Chicks_? Wha-?"

* * *

"Shaaaaaadup," Suigetsu dragged out, playing with the rim of his glass, "iz...that....uh... That once chick. I forgot."

Naruto snorted to swallow his laughter, but it ended up escaping him anyway - he was drunk-laughing and he just found it so fuckin' funny that Suigetsu had no idea what he was saying. It....Heyyyyy. He turned to glare at Sasuke who had just smacked him as his way of shutting him up.

"No, no, no," Suigetsu continued, shaking his head and pressing his palm to his forehead, "I mean... Yeah. They suck. A lot. Just hit it and quit it - it ain't... it ain't worth it to stay with one becuz... 'cuz... when you want to, she..." He trailed off, and Neji had to snap his fingers in front of his face a couple of times to get his attention, "Oh yeah. Uh... When you want to be with one single one, she... acts like a complete _bitch_."

* * *

Kiba rolled his eyes. "Du-_uuude_, didn't ya... I 'unno, bang her, or somethin'? 'Cause I kin'a 'member you were talkin' bout some bitch... she the same chick?" He blinked a little bit blearily. The bar was smoky, and an all-around grungy place to be - why the hell were they there, again?

He thought he saw a flash of blonde hair.

It wasn't Ino, tho'.

Kiba went back to the drink in his hands, and shot it back like a pro. The vodka hissed it's way down his throat, and he grinned at the heated path it made. "We gon'a get ou'ta here?"

* * *

Sasuke blinked the head rush away and tipped his head back and finished his shot in one go.

"Mutt. Shut up," Suigetsu said with a more leveled tone - as if he knew what he was saying now. "Jus' forget I even... said an'thin'."

Accepting another shot, Sasuke turned to look at Suigetsu with a blank look. "The one with the glasses, right," he drawled.

"No. I have noooo idea wa'cha talkin' 'bout."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. He was most probably drunk, like the rest of them were, but he actually tried to not show it -- oh, wow, there went another head rush. Sasuke blinked his eyes and took out his wallet, paying for all they had to drink - which was a lot.

"Let's get the fuck out of here," he mildly slurred.

* * *

"TEME, YOU'RE NOT DRIVIN'," Naruto blinked five times until the other four Sasukes disappeared.

"I'm not _drunk_, Dobe--"

"You _walked into _the _pole_, Prick," Kiba said, trying to stifle his laughter. "The _pole_. Let Hyuuga drive."

Neji blinked his eyes and looked around him, "Wha--Oh... Yeah. Right."

The other four stopped to stare at him before going back to their arguments. Suigetsu waved his arms in the air, Naruto stomped his feet, Kiba pointed and shook his head and Sasuke rubbed his temples and sneered.

Neji rolled his eyes and opened the car, taking the throne on the driver's seat. "Are you guys coming or... what?"

Blinking, the arguments ceased and Naruto and Suigetsu and Kiba (he had to wrestle and throw at least three punches at Sasuke, who gladly hit him back) sat in the back seats and Sasuke the passenger's seat.

Their destination: to be announced.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**les**: POUR MY LIFE INTO A PAPER CUP. THE ASHTRAY'S FULL AND I'M SPILLIN' MY GUTS.  
**sonya**: parents suck. my phone's dead. i'm killing all of the technology around me. & i shall be innocent. THAT-ONE-SCENE TOTALLY DOESN'T CHANGE A THING.  
**Saraa**: i have devised ways to destroy all stupid people in this world. don't make me use them. ESS-TEE-EFF-YOU-**LIFE**.


	22. how to be a human hit and run

we hope you enjoy the chapter. DANCE IN LOVE FOR NEJITEN. AND. LIKE. OTHER THINGS. graduation is in a week. we (i) feel old.  
**disclaimer**: uhmm, yeah, hi. we own our plot. pretty much nothing else. except Luffy's. but that's a given.  
**dedication**: to sugar and pizza and graduation and talking like pretty men. also, thunderstorms.

* * *

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* * *

Usually, the floor was supposed to be icky and dirty and a real nasty place to sit-lay on. There'd be dust-bunnies and crumbs and just complete nasty things. And although her new mother was a little, a lot loose on cleaning - she still had these random moments of "OMAI, CLEAN. THIS. YES. NAOW," and she had to help clean the kitchen and while she was at it, she decided she might as well clean her room.

And then the floor looked so damn comfortable and Tenten just decided to give it a try. So she had thrown herself, back flat on the cool floorboards and it was _amazing_. It was so comfy and Tenten could lay there for forever and she wouldn't mind...

...Well, she'd get up to get food. But still.

Currently, she was on said floor, staring up at her ceiling where she had millions of Band-posters and posters of sexy people lingering around. Actually, her whole bedroom walls had posters and cut-outs from magazine; it was almost rare to find the mint-green-ness of the walls' colors behind all of that.

But, anyway - she was staring at her posters. At the moment, her eyes were glued on Jared Leto from 30 Seconds to Mars and she was fangirling and daydreaming about marrying him and having his babies. And if her lips could reach that high, she'd kiss him.

...Her phone vibrated next to her and Tenten, without tearing her eyes away from the man-on-paper, answered with a feathery, "Helloooo."

* * *

Stumbling around quietly took talent. It was something Neji prided himself on; even when trashed out of his mind, he managed to remain quiet in the so-early-the-sun-was-still-down kitchen. As it was, he really needed to get some water into his system, or he was going to have the mother of all hangovers in the morning.

But there was this pretty girl that Neji kind of had a thing for.

Aaaaaand even though he wasn't at all sure where he knew her from, he was cogniscent enough to recognize her name. Ten-ten; like the multiplication factor of a hundred. And her number was on his "Recently Called" list, so he his hit the "Talk" button.

In his defense, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

"Good morning, beautiful."

* * *

Tenten was still staring at the poster of her godly god and she sighed dreamily before allowing a bashful smile to come to her lips, "Oh, Jared, you wild dog... Wait... NEJI?"

She sat up and looked around her room, trying to look for... what the _hell _was she looking for? Wait... did he just call her _beautiful_? Tenten had never gotten that, before - hot, badass, she's gotten that plenty of times. Pretty, she got every so often. But never beautiful. That was Ino.

And suddenly her face was hot and she actually hated the idea of it being because of something Neji said... Or, well... she didn't _hate _it - she actually didn't know what she felt. Standing up and facing her mirror, she caught her usually peachy skin a light pinkish-red and she couldn't help but groan lightly.

"Neji, are you alright? You're drunk, aren't you? Maaan, why wasn't I invited? Where are you? You're not driving, are you? Neji? Nejiiiiii."

...He took care of her when she was plastered; she might as well return the favor, right? At least, that was her excuse.

* * *

"Mmmm' fine. Mmm' not drunk yet. A little - tipsy, perhaps."

Neji stumbled towards the counter, the phone still glued to his ear. He was still mostly sober.

It probably wasn't going to last that long, as he'd just found Hiashi's secret stash of fancy alcohol. He squinted at the label in the dim light, and a slow smirk made it's way across his face. Grey Goose. _Nice_. Hiashi didn't cheap out on the alcohol, apparently.

_"Tipsy? Really? It sounds like you're **shitfaced**. ...What're you drinking? Is it good?"_

"Grey Goose, I su'pose. Good? It's _very_ good. Want some?"

* * *

Tenten commenced to do funny faces in the mirror, one of her hands holding on to the phone and the other one twirling a lock of her hair. And then she just stared at herself, and scrutinized and sneered and found over a million things wrong with her.

"Want some," she she dragged out, closing her eyes and then turning around towards her dresser, "of _course_ I want some. Are you going to give me some?"

She snatched a scrunchie and a hairbrush and set the phone down on the dresser, speaker on. She redid her hair into a ponytail (since she has made a point to stop wearing her buns after... she just stopped. Grrrr.) and fixed her bangs.

Ever since Neji actually took _care _of her that day she had the mother of all hangovers, Tenten has noticed she's become rather tolerant (if just a bit) and nice (if just a bit) towards him; she hated that she was only doing it as a thank you - was it only as a thank you? Tenten did not understand these things, like, seriously. Not at all.

_"You would have to come and find me. I have no idea where I am."_

Tenten bit back a snort. "Okay - I'll do that. I had loads of fun looking for Waldo!"

* * *

"Waldo? Who's Waldo...?"

Neji took his Grey Goose, and whatever else he could lay his hands on, and slipped out of the compound. Maybe he could find a place where he could get obscenely drunk in peace. He knew that he was going to have a massive headache the next day.

"_Waldo's that..._" she paused, and Neji strained to hear her voice. "_He's this one guy_."

Something about that just didn't sit right with him. He (gracefully) stumbled out of the Hyuuga compound, bottes of liquor in his grip.

"Guy? Wha- guy? Where're you...?"

* * *

Tenten tried hard to swallow her giggles and instead went for rolling her eyes.

"I'm... putting my shoes on? I--where are you? I'm going to go find you? Tell me what you see."

Tying her green converses and fixing the cuffs, she stood from her bed and walked out of her room. She looked towards the direction where Anko's room was and then walked down the hall. In the kitchen was Kakashi; Tenten had gotten used to seeing her sensei lingering at her new home. He was, like, practically her father - only, she didn't say that aloud nor did she tell Anko. Because, like... it was weird.

"Hello Kakashi-sensei," she muttered, grabbing Anko's car keys and walking towards the front door. She grinned and rolled her eyes at Kakashi's reply and continued on her way.

"Nejiiiiiiii."

_"I see... green. And white."_

"...Oh god. Please tell me you're not at a park or somewhere were you're bound to do something stupid."

_"Uhhh... I'm not... quite sure."_

Tenten sighed and unlocked the driver's door and slid inside. "Okay, well, stay with me on the line until I find you, m'kay?"

* * *

"Hnm," Neji made a low noise of agreement in his throat.

He wasn't lying. He _did_ see green and white. _Everywhere_. Was that _snow_? Wasn't snow supposed to be _cold_? Neji blinked, a little confused, and walked across the white crunchy stuff that might have been snow-but-he-wasn't-really-all-that-sure.

Neji sat down, then and there, and waited for Tenten to come and find him.

* * *

Obviously the first place Tenten went to search was his home.

But, there was _green _but no Neji. Growling, Tenten went off and searched towards the park. Here, she had to get off and search; she went towards the children's playground, towards the bird-feeding place, towards the picnic benches, the basketball court, the tennis court, the baseball field.

But there was no Neji.

"Neji, I swear. Where the hell _are _you?"

_"Uh... I see... A McDonald's. I think. And a pond."_

Tenten froze and tried to think about where in the world such a combination of green, a pond and a McDonald's could be. She stood there for what seemed like forever - though it could only have been fifteen minutes, at the most.

And then it hit her.

"OH. I WIN. Okay, I'll be there in a sec, m'kay? Don't. Move. Neji. I swear. Don't move. Be a good boy for Tenten and do as she says, m'kay?"

* * *

"...But what if I don' w'nna be good...?"

Neji's speech was starting to slur, and his vision was starting to blur, and he was starting to _rhyme_, and really, that could never have been a good thing. He said nothing else, and took a swig of Grey Goose; the bottle was cold under his fingertips.

_"...I will be very angry. Do you want me to be angry Neji? Because if I get angry, I'll be sadddd_."

He couldn't even remember why, but Neji had a feeling that he ought not make this particular girl sad. He sighed. "No, don' be sad."

"_Okay, be a good boy. Okay?_"

Neji groaned. "Don't waaaaant."

"_Nejiiiii. I am going to **punish** you if you do something, or - or **go** somewhere. Stay put_!"

"......."

And Neji started to smirk.

* * *

Tenten's driving was usually a bit chaotic - not as much as Ino's, but she could hold her own. In her attempts to get to Neji before the idiot could get a chance to do something stupid, she was driving a bit more wild than was normal.

Luckily, it wasn't rush hour, yet.

"Okay, I'm almost thereeee."

_"Okay. Wait. Where am I?"_

"In my pants," Tenten grumbled lightly. She made a turn and continued on until she saw green and green and more green. And a pond. She passed the McDonald's and continued on before she parked her mother's car and raced down a hill.

_"...But this doesn't look like your pants..."_

"That's because you're delusional at the moment, but where you are, is in fact, my pants."

_"But the inside of your pants isn't white. Or is it?"_

And then she saw him. She snorted and rolled her eyes before muttering a, "You'll just have to find out."

* * *

Neji was sitting in the middle of a golf course.

Not that he knew that, but it _was_ actually where he was. So Neji sat there, and waited for Tenten.

And waited.

And waited.

And was then bowled over by a dangerous fast-moving object. The object was warm and soft and _violent_, and when it smashed into him, Neji fell over, not being able to support himself and whatever the soft-hard-warm object at the same.

(Ah, the alcohol was beginning to show itself...)

"Oh, hello, Tenten."

And then he kissed her, regardless of the circumstances.

* * *

Tenten was expecting Neji to throw her off. She was expecting for him to just blink and stare at her. She was expecting everything but him kissing her.

Her eyes were wide open as he kissed her and... She found herself _kissing _him back. And it lasted for a second or two. Before she realized that he was drunk as hell and she was not and this was what men did to women only this time it was the other way around and as much as she liked kissing boys ("SLUT" the Karin and Ino within her screeched in fits of giggles) she couldn't do this to him.

"Neji," she muffled in between his lips, "You're drunk. Nejiiii."

"....No talking," he managed to mumble back.

A side of her was admiring this side of Neji; but he was drunk. To keep this side, she had to be making him drink and drink and drink. And as much as she loved alcohol, Tenten couldn't do that. So she breathed hard, kissed him back for another second before she pulled away.

"Neji," she said, staring at him and then at the bottle. And then this urge came and she wanted to _drink_. "Neji. C'mon. This is me - Tenten. You don't like me all that much."

"Quiet now," he murmured and pulled her closer.

Tenten began to inwardly panic - she had _no _idea what was going on.

* * *

Neji carefully pressed his lips along her jaw line, her cheek, and down her throat.

He could feel her freezing up underneath him.

Tenten was breathing heavily - panic? No, something else -, even as Neji grazed his lips along the small amount of tanned skin on her shoulder that was exposed. He liked her skin. It was warm. Soft. (He had a vague feeling that she normally wasn't this easy to touch but... well, frankly, he just didn't care.)

She was shaking, and weakly, _barely_ trying to escape the cage his arms had somehow made around her.

Somehow, Neji didn't really care.

* * *

"N-Neji..." She was breathing heavily - fast. And _god _if she didn't want to return the touches. Tenten wasn't one to denying herself things; she knew she was addicted to sex and when sex came at her freely, it was rather hard to let it go away. "Ne-jiii."

She closed her eyes and bit at her piercing. Seriously, she was torn on what she should do. She tried to push him off and that bottle of Grey Goose looked amazing and she wanted some and... so... close... so... close...

"You're going to regret what you're doing," she whispered.

"Nope," he mumbled, nipping at her collarbone, "I won't."

Groaning, Tenten arched her back and reached, again, for the bottle of rum. She grazed her fingers and managed to take a hold of it. Rapidly, she took various, long chugs and then he removed it from her grasp and smashed his lips over hers.

Tenten groaned again and wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

* * *

Neji pulled away for literally about three seconds. His fingers fumbled in the dark, and he was pulling off that (currently) hindrance of a chastity ring. He sat up -pulled Tenten with him-, and whipped it as hard as he could in the opposite direction. From far away, there was the distinct sound of metal hitting wood, and Neji smirked a lazy smirk.

"Don't need it anymore," he mumbled in her ear.

Tenten _purred_, pushed him back down on the ground, comfortably straddling his waist, and said, exultant, "Now, let me show you just _exactly_ what you were missing out on for so long."

"Fair 'nough," he murmured, and pulled her back down to kiss her again.

******

* * *

**

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* * *

**From: Tennie Macdaddy  
To: Red Riding Whore; Porkchops; Doctor Psycho; Glittering Innocence  
so.... i may have just committed the mother of all felonies.**

* * *

**From: Glittering Innocence  
To: Tennie Macdaddy  
What? Couldn't have been *that* bad...?**

* * *

**From: Red Riding Whore  
To: Tennie Macdaddy  
YOU JUST SLEPT WITH SOMEONE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SLEPT WITH. I KNOW THAT GUILT. I KNOW IT.**

* * *

**From: Doctor Psycho  
To: Tennie Macdaddy  
...okay, what happened? damage control, anyone?**

**

* * *

**

**From: Porkchops**  
**To: TennieMacdaddy**  
**......oh. tell me. tell me now. TELL ME THE BUSINESS. FLAILING.**

* * *

**From: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**To: Red Riding Whore; Porkchops; Doctor Psycho; Glittering Innocence**  
**...i slept with someone. i slept with someone in the golf field. and omfg. it was...it was.... asdfghjknejidfghjkl.**

* * *

**From: Glittering Innocence**  
**To: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**OMFG. MY COUSIN. YOUR GIBBERISH, HIS NAME WAS IN YOUR GIBBERISH. I *knew* something was going on between you two!**

* * *

**From: Red Riding Whore**  
**To: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**who called it? KARIN SO CALLED IT. I SO, SO, *SO* CALLED IT. biznitch.**

* * *

**From: Doctor Psycho**  
**To: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**damage control, y/n?**

* * *

**From: Porkchops**  
**To: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**WHAT. WHERE. WHAT. WHAT. OMAI. WHAT. WHAT. OMAI. ASDFGHJKL;. NEW OTP. NEW OTP. NEW OTPPPPPPPPPPPPP.**

* * *

**From: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**To: Red Riding Whore; Porkchops; Doctor Psycho; Glittering Innocence**  
**SHUT UP. SHUT UP. I.... I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED. AND IT KIND OF INVOLVED A LOT OF ALCOHOL. SHUT UP. THIS IS NOT HELPING. FUCK.**

* * *

**From: Glittering Innocence**  
**To: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**...Well, I approve. And now I'll have something to hold over his head so that he doesn't try to, uh, kill Naruto-kun! Tennie, do you have his chastity ring?**

* * *

**From: Red Riding Whore**  
**To: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**I SO KNEW IT. I SO KNEW IT. I KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN. YOU CAN NO LONGER CALL ME A SLUT. this calls for a celebration. and copious amounts of alcohol = win, face it.**

* * *

**From: Doctor Psycho**  
**To: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**WILL SOMEONE TELL ME IF WE NEED DAMAGE CONTROL, Y/N? KTHNXBAI**

* * *

**From: Porkchops**  
**To: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**DUDE. MAJOR FLAILING. NEW OTP. NEW OTP. WE HAVE TO CELEBRATE. LET'S GET DRUNK. AND THEN DROP YOU OFF AT HINATA'S HOUSE SO YOU CAN RAPE HIM AGAIN.**

* * *

**From: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**To: Red Riding Whore; Porkchops; Doctor Psycho; Glittering Innocence**  
**...i don't like him. wtf. what makes you guys say that. of course not. why would i like someone like neji. wut.**

* * *

**From: Glittering Innocence**  
**To: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**We know you like him because, knowing you, you're probably choking on your own spit.**

* * *

**From: Red Riding Whore**  
**To: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**because you are laaame. and obviously have a thing for himmm. HONEY, YOU FUCKED HIM ON A GOLF-COURSE, NEED I SAY MORE.**

* * *

**From: Doctor Psycho**  
**To: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**...i hate you all, i hope you know. :mad: i'm going away now. to find... something / someone deservant of my time.**

* * *

From: Porkchops  
To: Tennie Macdaddy  
DO NOT REPEL THESE FEELINGS, TENTEN. DO NOT REPEL. UNREPEL. UNREPEL. UNREPEL. RAPE HIM. GO... BE ROMEO OR SOMETHING. LIKE. SERIOUSLY.

* * *

**From: Tennie Macdaddy**  
**To: Glittering Innocence; Red Riding Whore;Doctor Psycho; Porkchops**  
**hinata. i don't have a thing for him. and he's probably like that because i am beast. sex is my art. stop acting as if it's yours, karin.**  
**karin. I DON'T HAVE A THING FOR HIM. STFU. i fucked him.... because.... HE PROVOKED ME. go AWAY.**  
**sakura. god. why don't you go be with sasuke or something. you obviously have a thing for the non-sparkling vampire. get over yourself. god.**  
**ino. STFU. I DON'T LIKE HIM. I'M GONNA GO FUCK NOW. BAI. MORE SEX. BAI. BAI. BAI.**

* * *

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* * *

Neji was at Naruto's house.

At three AM.

He had no idea how he got there (shocker, no?), but something vague told him that it had something to do with Tenten. However, as soon as he thought "Tenten", he thought of a lost chastity ring, and that - _that_ (Kiba snickered _Can't say "sex"? Sexsexsexsex-_ on the inside of his eyelids, and Neji hated that he had sort-of friends), and he just - well, he was between having an anerysm and just putting himself out of his own misery.

(But something else told him that he was never going to live this one down.)

He groaned, and knocked on the front door. He hated to bother Kushina this early, but... he actually had nowhere else to go. He was way too trashed to drive, and Hiashi would likely slit his jugular if he came home this wasted, anyway. And this was where Tenten (...he was going to be like poor little Hinata, at this rate) had left him.

So Neji sighed alcohol-scented breath, and waited for Naruto to answer the door.

* * *

Naruto and Sasuke were in the _zone._

Currently, they were almost mannequins on armchairs in the basement, eyes glued on the TV screen as they continued to battle for their lives. The blond vaguely heard some sort of _rasp _somewhere - like, some distant knocking or something. But He was concentrating too much to actually pay attention.

Sasuke drunk up all that was left of his beer and crunched up the can. "More beer, Dobe," he muttered.

Naruto grunted and paused the game, "Alright, alright - I think we're running out, tho'. We might just start hittin' the vodka."

"That sounds better, actually."

Laughing (because he knew Sasuke preferred the _good _stuff rather than beer), Naruto went up the stairs. His mother was already sleeping and no matter how much noise he or anyone else made, she never woke up; that woman slept as if she were a rock.

And then he heard the knocking. Again.

Narrowing his eyes, Naruto opened the door and stared.

Neji.

Drunk.

In front of him.

Naruto snorted. "Dude. What?"

* * *

"Allow me in. It's cold."

Naruto looked like he was standing there in something like dumb shock, and so Neji pushed his way past the blond, and into the house. He grumbled a little bit under his breath, and headed down to the basement as quietly as he could.

He was probably swaying back and forth, the way drunks were prone to, but Neji wasn't really paying attention to that, at this point.

He was far more interested in the possibility of actually getting some sleep.

Neji groaned, and pinched the bridge of his nose; knowing Naruto and Sasuke, they were probably playing Call of Duty, or something. And that wouldn't help the headache that was already starting to set in at all. He needed to _sleep_.

But Neji had a feeling that that wasn't going to be happening any time soon.

* * *

"Dude... What the _hell_. You look like _shit. _Did you get mobbed? Bahaha."

Naruto shook his head, closed the door and made a quick pit-stop in the kitchen, grabbing all that was left of the beers and then grabbing one of the biggest bottles of vodka he had stashed on the bar-thing his mother had gotten a while ago.

And then he went down to the basement; he almost started to laugh loudly when he saw Sasuke staring at Neji with a blank expression - and yet it said something along the lines of "What the fuck happened to you, this is some funny ass shit but I'm too awesome to laugh. I hope you die," which was Sasuke's way of saying the exact things Naruto had voiced out earlier.

This... This was too awesome to endure with just Sasuke as his witness. He needed the other idiots. Now. Like, seriously.

* * *

**From: Idiot  
To: Fish-Lips; Mutt  
dude. my place, now. the hyuuga's here and something's, like, up with him. and it's hilarious.**

**From: Mutt**  
**To: Idiot**  
**fuck you, man, it's three AM. i'm asleep.**

**From: Fish-Lips  
To: Idiot  
really? dude, i am so there. in ten.****  
**

* * *

Neji glared at Sasuke.

(Even drunk, he _still_ didn't like that dude.)

Neji threw himself down on the couch that Naruto had vacated, and muttered an inaudible groan. He really had no idea how to go about life - well, staying drunk was a fair certainty, but beyond that - and in _classes_, too - he really had no idea how this was supposed to work.

(Being drunk, Neji decided, was a _thoroughly_ good idea.)

* * *

Sasuke grinned, "You look like shit. Not that you usually don't."

Naruto snorted.

Neji glared.

They (Sasuke and Naruto) went back to their game; intense, a lot of obscenities and a lot of winning. Of course, what else would you expect? It was Sasuke and Naruto and they always won. Seriously - it was close to an apocalypse whenever they lost.

"Dude," Naruto dragged out, "let's get drunk, yeah? Maybe then Neji can go get laid - dude, Sasuke! We can drop him off at a strip-club or something. This guy needs some serious action."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Doesn't he have some sort of ring or whatever."

"So? Take it off."

They both snickered.

* * *

**From: Mutt  
To: Idiot  
you woke me up, and now i can't fuckin' sleep. fuck head. i'll be over in ten, don't kill the hyuuga until i get there**.

* * *

Neji hated being talked about.

"Quiet. Lost that stupid ring, anyway..."

The looks of utter incredulity were _more_ then worth that confession. Both Naruto and Sasuke looked gob-smacked. Neji smirked drunkenly to himself; oh, god, tomorrow's hangover was actually going to be _worth_ something, for once.

* * *

"Wait. Wait. Waitwaitwaitwaitwait."

Naruto's phone vibrated and read Kiba's message, smirked and then went to open the door. It was a millisecond, if not less; he unlocked the door just to find Suigetsu parking his car and then left the door unlocked for Kiba to let himself in. Suigetsu looked as if he hadn't been at home when he had texted him; not that Naruto really cared. The idiot was probably looking for some new fish since he got in a fight with that redhead-chick.

"Dude, Neji lost his ring."

"...No.... Way."

Naruto and Suigetsu soon started to laugh their asses off.

"Dude - like, seriously? He _lost _it as in it fell or he _lost _it as in he got laid?"

"...I think it's the second one. And if it is, I am laughing at him for the rest of my life."

The two promptly went downstairs where Sasuke was smirking-snickering at Neji, who seemed to be debating whether to chug the bottle of vodka or going back to sleep.

"DUDE, SO YOU GOT LAID OR WHAT?"

* * *

Neji glared. Glowered. Scowled. Muttered ungratefully. Scowled some more.

And ignored them _all_.

He needed another beer.

Kiba, still slightly sleepy-eyed, threw a pillow at Neji's head. "What the fuck, man, and you don't tell us?"

Neji glowered some more, and slurred "I do not feel the need to inform you of my every move, do I?"

"DUDE. THAT RING WAS YOUR MOST FUCKIN' PRIZED POSSESSION."

Okay, so this night-early-morning-time-place-thing was not going the way Neji wanted it to go. Clearly, he just wanted to sleep. But noooo, stupid Naruto had to go and call the Mutt and Fish-Breath, and now Neji was _never_ going to get the sleep he so craved.

"Fuckers," he muttered.

* * *

"So," Suigetsu said, taking a swig out of the bottle, "let me get this straight - you, Neji Hyuuga, got laid. And you're not married. Like you had promised with said ring that you valued more than your life. So... you're not a virgin... so.... you're _not _a virgin?"

Sasuke snorted and rolled his eyes, "He probably got laid by that crazy girl that manhandles him."

Suigetsu's eyes twinkled, "Dude! Bondage!"

"Oh my god, dude, that would of been some intense shit," Naruto said in pure awe, "When Neji wants it, he _wants _it. You're male, you're male."

And then they went off to laugh their asses off.

"So," Sasuke said, clearing his throat, "you got laid. Tell us."

"I don't see why I should," Neji muttered.

"DUDE. LIKE, FRIENDS HERE, MAN. WHAT THEE FUCK." Suigetsu grinned and drank some more of the vodka before concentrating and giving the bottle to Kiba. "Dude, you clearly need this; wake the fuck up."

"No," Naruto said, "telllllllll us!"

* * *

Neji glared at them all.

And continued to refuse to say anything. He was going to ignore them - ignoreignoreignore.

He grumbled, and was perfectly content to sit there, ignoring all that his stupid friends were trying to get out of him. Well. At least this explained why Uchiha was so tight-lipped about his dalliances; if he was going to go through _this_ every time he (either one of them, really) managed to pull off something stupid (say... accidentally slept with the one person they _really ought not have slept with_), then he wasn't - well.

He wasn't going to tell them anything.

Neji mumbled drunkenly, and dropped his head so that he wouldn't be looking at anyone.

(He wasn't even really all that drunk anymore. Stupid friends and their stupid sobriety-inducing-ness.)

* * *

Naruto stared.

And stared.

And stared.

And he was joined by the other three and together they continued to stare.

Until an idea dawned on Naruto and, snickering, took out his phone. Knowing Hinata, she was probably up painting - like she always was. Usually, this was the time where their emails were mostly done (Naruto was positive he was going to pass).

"I know how to get a straight answer."

* * *

**From: Naruto-kun  
To: Hinata-chan  
so... like... did neji get laid? he looks like he's gotten laid and he's not speaking. hinata-chaaaaaaaan.**

* * *

**From: Hinata-chan  
To: Naruto-kun  
I - I have, uhm, no idea, but, uh, he didn't... come home... and Tenten said... something... Also, why are you awake...? It's almost 4AM!**

* * *

Kiba glanced at Naruto. Naruto, getting a straight answer out of _anyone_? What was the world _coming_ to?

However, despite Naruto's new (and suspiciously sudden) insight into how to get people to do the things he wanted, Kiba had to admit that this was actually one of the funniest things ever.

Seriously, how often did _anyone_ get to laugh at Neji? Kiba chortled, and went back to throwing empty pop cans (where was all the beer...?) at Neji's immobile form. It was pretty rare thing that Neji made a fool of himself.

It was kind of outside of the Hyuuga's normally dignified persona.

So, generally, Kiba was not going to waste this for the whole damn world.

* * *

**From: Naruto-kun  
To: Hinata-chan  
what did she say? did she bone him? she did, didn't she? i'm gonna make fun of him now. also, i'm awake because i'm awesome - what's your excuse, beautiful?**

* * *

If it was one thing Suigetsu was good at, it was making fun of people.

Well... no... He knew how to keep secrets, too (like the Emo Prick's), and he knew how to pleasure the ladies and how to eat a lot and sleep. Suigetsu was amazing at sleeping. But right now it was no time for any of that so right now Suigetsu was good at making fun people.

So he continued to snicker.

Oh, and drink.

That, too. 'Coz, like, drinking's awesome. Thanks.

"Dude, so I was at the supermarket, today," he said. If the Idiot was getting the answers, this was going to take a long while. Totally. "And I saw this _nice _chick. Amazing figure."

"No way," Naruto said as he texted, "But given that you're whipped - you didn't hollar, did you?"

"..."

Sasuke and Kiba promptly snorted.

"_ANYWAY_. I'm hungry."

"Food's upstairs."

And Suigetsu was gone.

* * *

**From: Hinata-chan  
To: Naruto-kun  
My lips are sealed, sorry! ALSO. ASDFGHJKL. NONE OF THAAAT. Or I'll blush until I - I *die*, or *something*. As for why I'm up... Painting, why else?**

* * *

Neji hated _everything_.

Seriously.

* * *

**From: Naruto-kun  
To: Hinata-chan****  
no need to say anythinggggg. I ALREADY ADDED IT ALL UP TOGETHER IN MY HEAD. but i like it when you blush. you look very beautiful. also, paint a picture of me ;)**

* * *

"MEN, IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT OUR SOCIALLY RETARDED FRIEND, NEJI HYUUGA, IS NO LONGER A VIRGIN."

Naruto literally rolled on the floor laughing. This.... This should be a national holiday. Like, no lie. This was _massive_. Neji was, like, _boned_. Like... dude.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and poured some of the vodka into a shot glass. "Huh, no wonder he looks mortified."

Snorting, he took the shot and passed the newly filled glass towards Naruto.

Suigetsu came back with a sandwich, "I heard. Dude. We gotta, like... this sandwich's hella good."

Naruto rolled his eyes and then threw a pillow at Neji.

* * *

**From: Hinata-chan  
To: Naruto-kun  
...*bluuuuuuuush* uhm, I kinda... am? It's - it's from that day at the ramen shop with Sakura and Sasuke-san...**

* * *

Neji clenched his jaw, and ordered "_Quit_ it."

Kiba howled "HELL NO."

* * *

**From: Naruto-kun  
To: Hinata-chan  
....no... way.... you're so.... hinata-chaaaaan! i bet it's gonna look so pretty; 'specially since *you* did it.

* * *

**

Sasuke grinned, taking another shot. His throat burned, but he longed stopped caring about that.

"Hyuuga, seriously. You're supposed to be proud of this."

"Dude, The Prick's right," Suigetsu muffled behind his sandwich. His ice-purple eyes twinkled in delight before he grabbed on of Kiba's many can-ammo and throwing it at Neji. "Dudeeee. Lighten up or something."

Sasuke got up and offered the bottle of vodka to the pathetic fool.

"Clearly you need some."

* * *

**From: Hinata-chan  
To: Naruto-kun  
I - I think I like the way it's coming out, but, I don't know... (I *swear* that *that* is not me.)**

* * *

Neji just grumbled and glared some more.

They didn't _get it_.

_It wasn't going to change anything._

Tenten (bright brown eyes, dark hair everywhere, tan skin-) would still be violent, and moody, and Neji knew he'd still probably piss her off. He felt like punching himself in the gut. Because, frankly, she was _Tenten_.

And Neji had never been that kind of lucky.

* * *

**From: Naruto-kun  
To: Hinata-chan  
awwww c'mon, hinata-chan. you're an amazing artist! i bet it's as good as da vinci or whatshisface.**

* * *

"Dude," Naruto said more seriously, "why are you emo-ing it out?"

His blue eyes stayed glued on one of his many friends and he tried to read the body language he was giving. Clearly, he was... God, Naruto didn't even know what it was. But something was wrong with him and he didn't know _what_.

But why?

Was he, like, not satisfied? Did his little friend need more or something?

It was then that Naruto decided that he needed some more alcohol.

"Here's to getting laid," he snickered.

* * *

**From: Hinata-chan  
To: Naruto-kun  
I - You - DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DO TO ME. *faint***

* * *

"Here's to _not_ getting laid," Neji muttered sarcastically.

He actually _hated_ them _all_ so much, at that moment. They just - they had no fuckin' clue. He growled to himself, and a muscle jumped in his jaw as he tried to reign in his sudden anger.

The Mutt was a slut. Fish-breath slept with everything that had tits and breathed. Dead-Last was just _stupid_ (and there was no other word for it, really - and Neji _still_ didn't trust the dude around his little cousin, because HINATA WAS INNOCENT AND WAS **GOING TO STAY THAT WAY**), and Uchiha...

Well.

He was _Uchiha_.

Neji was not a verbose person. He was not good at expressing himself through words; the words came out all wrong, so he'd learned, from a very young age, to just keep his mouth shut. And if he _really_ needed to express _something_, he was bound to express it in a fight. Because Neji was good, at fighting. Actually...

He shot a glance at Uchiha. The asshole might be the only one get what Neji was actually saying, because half the time, they communicated the same way.

* * *

**From: Naruto-kun  
To: Hinata-chan  
do i make you smiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiile? .__.**

* * *

Sasuke stared at the screen and blinked.

"Let it go, Dobe," he dragged out before drinking _more _alcohol. "If the Hyuuga doesn't want to share who he got laid by, then so be it."

Naruto snorted and rolled his eyes and Suigetsu? Suigetsu was far too into his sandwich to actually care about anything at the moment. Scoffing, Kiba reached for a deserted can of beer he found lying around (SACRILEGE).

Shifting his eyes to Neji, Sasuke watched as he got up and made to leave the basement.

"Watch your step, Hyuuga," he drawled.

Sasuke smirked when Neji paused and turned to glare at him. When he was gone, the four of them commenced into rounds of intense video-games.

* * *

**From: Hinata-chan  
To: Naruto-kun  
You... *more* then make me smile. =]**

* * *

Kiba snorted, and downed the forgotten beer (who did that, seriously? SERIOUSLY?), and looked at Suigetsu, and tried to concentrate on the Call of Duty that Naruto had somehow conned him into playing.

(Fucking Naruto.)

"Dude. what the fuck crawled up _his_ ass and died? Oh, _fucker_, if that bitch shoots me again..."

And then Kiba remembered that it was never good to ask an open-ended question like that, especially with Naruto around. The blond dude shrugged and half-screeched "Meh, he probably got laid outdoors and an ant crawled up or----WTF. THIS BITCH'S GOING DAOWN."

Yeah. Never, ever a good thing. Suigetsu was squinting at the screen "......That sandwich was amazing. And the Hyuuga's in shock, like, seriously. Musta been some amazing sex."

But it was Sasuke's answer that Kiba was actually somewhat interested in. Sasuke and the Hyuuga were actually a lot alike.

Emo freaks.

"....I actually don't---- oh, that son of a bitch is dead."

But of course, the one answer he _actually_ wondered about would be the one to get cut off.

Motherfucker.

* * *

**From: Hinata-chan  
To: Naruto-kun  
i like doing those things to you, tho', hina-chan. it proves that you're feeling it too.**

* * *

"The Hyuuga's a retardedly unique piece of shit," Sasuke muttered, his concentration more on his game than on his words, "So he probably takes this shit differently."

"Yeah," Kiba grunted, "explain that so the rest of the world can understand it."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and sighed. "Hyuuga's had no damn contact with females - or males - unless it was utterly needed; imagine his reaction to getting laid."

"Dude," Suigetsu said with a scrunched brow, "I feel sorry for him, man. He's been missing out.... Like, a lot."

Naruto snickered.

"......Holy fuck, man," Kiba said in pure disbelief.

Sasuke gave a sagely nod and smirked when he won the game.

* * *

**From: Hinata-chan  
To: Naruto-kun  
Yeah. It does. I need sleep, now, Naruto-kun. I'll talk to you in the morning. G'night.**

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Neji woke up with a pounding headache and a distinctly clear memory of the previous night.

Suigetsu, depressed. Alcohol. Lots of it. Getting lost. A golf-course? Tenten.

Oh, shit, _Tenten_.

Neji sat up at lightspeed. His head spun, everything hurt for a minute; so he sank back down on the couch, and just kind of... _groaned_.

He hated _everything_.

* * *

Sleeping was never anything she really did.

That's why when she was wide awake for the whole night, Tenten wasn't surprised. But unlike normal nights where she thinks about random things, she was thinking about pale eyes and rich-brown hair.

Not like _that _of course. It's just... god, why was this freaking her out more than it actually should? It was a one thing thing, right?

Or... Wait...

No.

Whatever.

Aggravated, Tenten growled and sat up. She stomped towards her windows and stared out at the still-sleeping city; it was barely dawn and it's far to early but Tenten didn't really care. Maybe she should...

...No...

Sighing, she went towards the shower.

* * *

Neji just lay there on the couch, bemoaning his existence.

She probably hated him, now.

...

Not that that would change much, actually...

* * *

Stomping back into the room in nothing but a pair of boxers, her bra and a rib-tank, Tenten grouched and booted up her laptop.

She didn't know why the hell she was allowing herself to do this nor did she want to know because, like, everything was so fucking lame and it sucked and she hated everything. But still. She had to do this because.... Fuck, she didn't even know why she had to do this. She just did.

This isn't awkward, what makes anyone think that. Of course not.

She logged into her email and before she could allow herself to punch the screen, she wrote.

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject:_ _asdfghjkl;_

Hi.

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject:_ ...

Good morning.

-Mastermind

_~Sent from my __iPhone_

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject: __Love my gibberish. Love it._

So... Do you how do?

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject: Er. Yes_.

...

You are confusing.

-Mastermind

_~Sent from my __iPhone_

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject:_ _....'Er'. Yes? Is this a disguised no?  
_

...I was asking how you're doing. Gosh, don't you watch SpongeBob?

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject: No_.

No, I do not. And I am... well, I suppose.

We need to speak. Face to face.

-Mastermind

_~Sent from my __iPhone_

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject:_ _No, it's a disguised no. Or no, it's not a disguised no?_

Dude, what's _wrong _with you? SpongeBob's my _inspiration_.  
Also, I suppose this is good... that you're... uh... doing well... yeah.

...What did I do now? I swear I did _not _steal the Skittles. .__.

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject: No, it's not a disguised no_.

...  
You?

You did not... do anything, in particular.  
And I know you did not steal the Skittles, that was the Mutt's girlfriend.

-Mastermind

_~Sent from my __iPhone_

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject:_ _okay! This makes me very happehh._

...  
Me? Why _me_? What have _I _done?

Oh, okay, good. Because, like, going to the big house for stealing candy's lame.  
...Leave Porkchops alone, she has an addiction.

-Machete

P.S. Where and when.

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject:_ ...

Nothing. I was inquiring as to how you are.

Yes, rather.

-Mastermind

P.S. As soon as the sun is up. I will come get you, I suppose?

_~Sent from my __iPhone_

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject:_ _What's with the dots?_

....Oh.... Well.... Um... I'm hungry....?

Yeah, see... but I'm planning on breaking in and getting my gun back. Shhh, don't tell anyone.

-Machete

P.S. BUT I'M HUNGRY NAOWWWWWWWWWWW.

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject: There was no other response_.

I'll get you some breakfast.  
...You are going to be the death of me.

-Mastermind

P.S. _Fine_. Are you at my cretin of a teacher's?

_~Sent from my __iPhone_

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject: __...You wound me._

REALLY? You... I adore you. Like, seriously.  
.....This is good.

-Machete

P.S. ...Well, duh. This _is _my new home. :)

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject: There wasn't_.

..........  
_You_ wound _me_.

-Mastermind

P.S. That worries me on so many levels.

_~Sent from my __iPhone_

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject: __You're mean._

.....How do _I _wound _you_?

-Machete

P.S. Ahhh, stop your worrying and come pick me up.... I should go put some pants on - hurry up!

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject: I'm buying you breakfast. How am I mean_.

You do.  
So it's a good thing that you will be the death of me?  
_That's_ how you wound.

-Mastermind

P.S. I am five minutes away.

_~Sent from my __iPhone_

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject:_ _Because you're mean. You make my smile turn upside down._

I do?  
Well, I'll be the death of you with all the mischief I make you partake with me.  
But I'm not, like, wounding you or anything....

-Machete

P.S. Oh! Okay!

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject: ...I honestly do not know how to respond to you, sometimes_.

Yes.  
Do I have a choice?

-Mastermind

P.S. You have sixty seconds to get out here. I'm waiting.

_~Sent from my __iPhone_

* * *

Tenten pouted as she got inside the car. She buckled her seatbelt and crossed her arms in front of her chest and _pouted._

Her hello to Neji? She stuck her tongue out at him before pouting all over again.

Honestly! How could he _not _know how to reply to the amazingness that came out of her mouth/mind? Like, it was a felony or something... Besides! She was... Oh, whatever. What was she to expect? This was _Neji_, of course.

And, being that she was Tenten and she was basically as clueless as they come, she didn't manage to get the almost-blush and the head shaking. Because if she had, she'd at least start to wonder. But instead, she was staring out the window and deciding what she wanted to eat.

Something told her she wanted waffles.

* * *

There was -

This was -

Neji had an urge to start blushing-and-choking the way Hinata did every time she came within thirty feet of Naruto. Which, really, was not a good thing. On both accounts; Neji was not Hinata. Where she was shy, he was - Neji didn't even have a word for it. Awkward, maybe? Either way, it was not a good thing.

(And Neji _still_ didn't trust Naruto. He'd better watch it.)

"Where to?" he asked, quiet.

* * *

Tenten had a violent urge to say "in your pants" which has become her favorite phrase to say.

But... Her face heated up and some things came to her mind and Tenten had a new urge to hit her head against the most thickest, hardest surface around her and scream and run away and never come out of where ever she wound up. Because what happened hasn't... technically sunken into where it's supposed to sink into and she's trying hard not to freak out because.

GOD, she slept with her best friend's _cousin_!

That's like saying she slept with her best friend's _brother_!

Tenten choked on her words, "Asjdklfg;."

She felt his eyes on her and she instantly grew as hot as the sun.

"Nghhh."

And then she squared her shoulders and puckered up her lips. This was completely ridiculous. She turned to stare at him and she almost wanted to strangle herself when she looked away when their eyes met. "Let's go to Luffy's..."

Fail.

* * *

Neji simply nodded, and turned the steering wheel. Luffy's wasn't far from where they were, anyway. He shot a glance at Tenten from out of the corner of his eyes. She _looked_ mostly normal - a little moody, but then, this was _Tenten_; moody was what she _did_.

But still.

Neji almost groaned.

They pulled into Luffy's deserted parking lot. The place wasn't even open yet; at least, not anywhere to sit down. They'd have to go through the drive-thru, and Neji hated doing that, but, well...

Tenten's stomach growled, and Neji had his answer.

* * *

Her spine was beginning to hurt from how rigid she was becoming. Tenten hated everything.

"I want waffles."

"Waffles it is," Neji muttered.

And then Tenten began to ramble.

"So, have you seen the new Christina Aguilera music video? I personally think she should have stayed MIA because, seriously. What the hell was _that_? Like, the whole freako-weird-ohemeffgee-she's-super-weird scene has been taken."

"Hmn. And this "whole freako-weird-ohemeffgee-she's-super-weird scene" has been taken.... by whom?"

Tenten turned to stare at his cheekbones (because staring at his eyes proved to be impossible at the moment). "Personally, I think it looks better on Lady Gaga. Because, c'mon, that woman's my idol - but now Rihanna's trying to do it and failing and Christina's... a combo of Lady Gaga and Madonna and it's super freaky in the whole shaking-I'm-scared way."

"Tenten, quiet, please, and pass me my wallet. I need to pay for your waffles."

Glaring, she passed him his wallet, slapping it to his palm and then crossing her arms in front of her chest.

She didn't speak after that. At all.

* * *

Neji passed Tenten her waffles, and tried to ignore the way that the interior of the car suddenly got cold. His head still hurt. He exhaled a little, and looked at the other passenger. Tenten didn't look happy - but Neji couldn't help it.

He just didn't know how to respond to her, sometimes. It was almost sick, the way she fascinated him.

And there was nothing he could do about it.

"Let's get coffee," he said quietly.

* * *

She was still quiet and she planned on staying that way.

Honestly, what the hell was she thinking - actually expecting to have a decent conversation with him. It was always the same - always "shut up Tenten" or "quiet, Tenten" or "Tenten" this "Tenten" that.

This is why she didn't even try to be nice to him.

GAH!

She glared and clenched her jaw and allowed him to take her to the coffee shop.

* * *

Starbucks bustled, people rushing in, buying their before-work coffee, and rushing back out, caffeinated drinks in hand. Very few of the customers stayed; most of the seats (including the squishy leather armchairs) were empty, and Neji waited for Tenten to order.

She just glared at him, grumpy, and refused to order.

Neji sighed, and ordered her a venti mocha frappachino (he had a feeling that was her favourite - she was Tenten, the venti was a no-brainer, and... he didn't even know how to explain it, it was _just _her). He ordered a double espresso for himself; the caffeine was needed to rid his system of the last of the dregs of the hangover.

Three very awkward minutes later, the drinks were finished.

"Here," he told her, and handed her the blended drink. Their fingers touched, and a slight shiver raced up his spine. He thought it was from the cold of the frapp.

(It wasn't.)

* * *

No, she was _not _playing when she said she wasn't going to speak at all.

Yes, she _was _a complete bitch and she was proud of it.

It's not like he could tell. This was Neji - what the hell did _he _care, right? He _doesn't _care at all. About anything but his goals and himself. So what if he got her favorite drink right - it was luck. Or maybe Hinata told him or something. He doesn't...

Tenten glared.

And ate her waffles.

And drank her frapp.

Oh, and bit her tongue from speaking the complete randomness that's always leaving her mouth. Because he didn't deserve it...

* * *

Neji sipped his espresso, and looked her straight in the face. She... wasn't saying anything.

That was weird.

"Tenten...?"

* * *

Oh so _now _he wished to acknowledge her?

TOO LATE.

Tenten pressed her lips together, ignoring how her piercing made her upper lip ache.

Her nostrils flared in anger, but she didn't speak.

He wanted her to talk? He could talk _first_.

* * *

Neji stared at her.

Tenten-Body-Language-One-Oh-One; when she got angry, her breathing went all weird. When she got angry, she tended to slit her eyes. When she got angry, she pressed her lips together. (How Neji knew this was beyond him; he attributed it to the fact that he had seen her angry so very often).

But he really had no idea what could have set her off, this time.

He blinked at her. And waited for her to say something. When she didn't (stubborn), Neji blinked, and started debating - what to say, what to say... _Nice weather we're having_ would have been a lie.

So he went with a very gentle "Are you happy, now?"

* * *

Tenten could _not _believe him!

Honestly! How can one single being make her so angry in such little time and apparently _without knowing it_. Like, what the hell? She was angry because she was trying to have a decent conversation with him to show that _no _she doesn't _hate _him (maybe sorta dislike, but whatever) but what does he end up doing?

HE SHUTS HER UP.

No, she is _not _overreacting, back the fuck up.

"Happy," she hissed through her teeth, "happy? You're asking me if I'm _happy_? NO, NEJI I AM _NOT _HAPPY."

"...Why not? You have food, and coffee. That normally makes you happy."

Tenten froze and stared at him for a decent minute. And without moving her lips, without blinking, she growled, "You're calling me a fatass again, aren't you?"

"You're rail-thin, Tenten. And... You just smile more when you're happy, and that is usually when you're eating something."

"Oh! So now I'm anorexic!"

"Never," he said, slowly shaking his head, "We both know you love food too much."

Tenten gritted her teeth. "I've tried to be fucking nice to you, Hyuuga. I've _tried. _And every time I try to start a _fucking _conversation I get the 'shut up' in one way or another - what the _hell _do you_ fucking _want from me? _GOD_!"

* * *

And Tenten was off on a rant.

Neji stared at her.

There was a bit of coffee on her lip. It was very distracting. He knew he ought to be listening to her, because she'd probably never forgive him, if he didn't, but...

Before Neji could restrain himself (or actually even _think_), he'd leaned forward, and gently brushed it away. His fingers lingered against her cheek, and Neji could see that her eyes had gone wide. He distantly thought that she looked pretty, all surprised and slightly freaked out, like that.

"You had coffee," he chuckled, voice low, "on your lip."

She was very close. Too close. Still and silent, and nothing like how Tenten normally was. It irked Neji that she never reacted the way he expected she'd react. Still, she didn't move, and Neji could feel her breath on his neck.

And then he realized that he had no control over himself anyway, and gave in to temptation.

Much to both their shock, he kissed her.

* * *

Shock's that thing, right? That thing that makes your body react in certain ways. It can make you go on a rampage, make you cry, make you shake... make you numb.

Tenten was in total shock then and there... feeling his lips against hers. They were soft, really - she... never thought of them being soft. Not even if they'd kissed before (never like this, though). And... As more and more thoughts filtered her mind...

Tenten freaked out.

And before she could give her lips the chance to respond she broke away from him, stumbled up and out of her/their table and she left.

Before it could all register within her mind, within Neji's mind, within time... before anything made sense...

She was just another body in the crowd.

* * *

Neji sat there, alone, for a long time.

* * *

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Extra throughts from us:

**Saraa**: everyone should leave us a lovely review. I GRADUATE NEXT WEEK. ASDFGHJKL. (also. "biznitch" is my new favourite word. FOR IT IS SEX. and super-fun to say. XD)  
**sonya**: love you all soooooo much. it's almost graduation which means: SUMMERRRRRRR. boys are stupid. lessthanthree.  
**les**: NejiTen are my otp. right next to SasuSaku. ALSO. GRADUATION, WUT. ten bucks i fall on stage for this is me we're talking about. love us!


	23. how to take lady gaga lyrics to heart

_Rah rah ah-ah-ah! Ro mah ro-mah-mah! Gaga Ooh-la-la! Want your bad romance_...  
**disclaimer**: not likely.  
**dedication**: TO GLEE (_puck/quinn_ - 'coz i'm a freak, baby. ;]) && to the absolutely amazing **Just Lovely.**, for not only reviewing EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER IN SUCCESSION, but ALSO for being our five hundreth review. actually, to _all_ the reviews. =]  
.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

"Sasuke-kun!"

He loved his mother, really, he did. But when she was disturbing him from a nice battle with zombies... Sasuke couldn't take it. Of course, being that he loved his mother more than anyone, he didn't snarl or curse at her... Instead... he was subdued to stare.

Blankly.

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Hn."

"Itachi-kun's sick!"

"Good, I hope he dies."

Aaaaand, that was probably the wrong thing to say. Slowly, he went from staring at his paused game to staring at his mother, who was staring right back at him with a blank stare that rivaled his own. And then she was shaking in fury and Sasuke had the sudden urge to just... disappear.

"OUT. OUT. SASUKE-KUN, OUT."

"..."

"_Now Sasuke-kun!"_

Next thing Sasuke knew, he was being pushed out the front door, keys shoved into his hands.

He only blinked.

* * *

Sakura sighed, and pulled away from her dreaded Biology homework. She'd been at it for three hours, at this point, and it was just starting to grate at her nerves. She groaned, and pushed herself away from her desk.

She leaned back, and stretched, the popping of her spine a long-awaited relief.

Her phone was sitting just out of reach. Sakura eyed it, and made a pathetic reach for it. For a minute, she absolutely wished that she could, like, use the Force. Because not only would that be cool, it would totally make Real Life easier (seriously, who _hasn't_ wanted a lightsaber?), but... well, that wasn't going to be the case.

Sakura put a little more effort into her reaching, and swiped her phone. She flicked it open, and tried to figure out who to bother.

* * *

**From: Sakura-chan  
To: Sasuke  
i would txt you lyrics, but i'm not cliché. i'm bored, so sue me.**

**From: Sasuke  
To: Sakura-chan  
...what do you want?**

* * *

Sasuke sat there, inside his car and wondered what the hell he could do for the rest of the day. His plan had been to just play video games and then sleep but that was out of the question now that Stupid Itachi was sick.

Like if he cared.

Seriously.

Stupid idiot - hopefully it was pneumonia or something awful like that.

Sasuke grumbled and glared at the car parked in front of him.

He sighed and logged into his email through his precious G1 and then decided that he should at least work on that fucking project or something... And txt Sakura on the side.

No, he didn't... oh just shut up idiot voices in his head.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _No Subject_

Hi.

-Thunder

* * *

Sakura's phone vibrated, just as her email beeped. She blinked, and sighed. Well, there went the only possibility of doing school-work. The biology homework loomed threateningly. Was there a way she could do both things - avoid biology and _still_ do homework?

Yes. Yes, there was.

And _that_ was to email Thunder. She'd have to text Sasuke back, but, well, she really needed to do a lot of things. Like psychology homework.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: You really need to develop an imagination. I'd like you better_.

Hi. How are you?

-Superstar

* * *

**From: Sakura-chan  
To: Sasuke  
i need a favour.**

**From: Sasuke  
To: Sakura-chan  
and that is what?**

* * *

He ran a hand through his hair and tried to think of something - he could go find some food, but he wasn't hungry. He could go to The Dobe's place but that idiot's probably out with Fairy-Girl. The Mutt was working today and 'Getsu had class, he thinks.

...No way was he going to withstand hours alone with Hyuuga. Especially since he was emo-ing it out _big _time.

So he sighed and continued to sit there, awaiting for an idea to dawn upon him.

Where the fuck was his brain today?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _What makes you think I want you to like me?_

I'm fine. You?

-Thunder

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: You want to like me. I know it. Do I need to threaten to not talk to you, again?_

I'm... okay, I guess. I have a lot of homework.  
(I'm kind of hating biology, right now.)

-Superstar

* * *

Sakura sent the email off, and glanced at the time.

It was still early enough to bother Sasuke, to get him to drive her to the library. She had no idea where Karin was, and Karin hated driving, anyways. Ino was... somewhere... Tenten was probably freaking her brains out, still, and Hinata... yeah, no.

So her friends were out of the question.

Which just left Sasuke.

Sakura grinned, a little bit. Hee-hee.

* * *

**From: Sakura-chan  
To: Sasuke  
would you be interested in driving me to the library? it'd be muchly appreciated.**

**From: Sasuke  
To: Sakura-chan  
what's in it for me?**

* * *

Sasuke leaned back in his seat and ran a hand through his hair.

Not that he had anything to do and taking Sakura to the library would be at least _something _but... god... He liked bugging her?

Whatever.

So he closed his eyes for a second and then went back to emailing.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject: __...that was not funny._

Don't remind me of homework.  
(Biology was never my strong point. I took it for three years before I passed it.)

-Thunder

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: IT SO WAS_.

Sorry, can't help it. I have a ton of it.  
(It's AP Biology. And it sucks.)

-Superstar

* * *

Sakura threw her homework into her bag. Three text books, two notebooks, pens and pencils, her iPod...

She made a face.

The bag was going to be sickeningly heavy.

(_No one_ needed this many textbooks. She was going to kill Kakashi-sensei, seriously... He'd given them a psychology textbook, but they _never used it_. Jerk. The AP Biology textbook was a given, because it was literally completely impossible to get through the course without it, and, well, Kurenai-sensei could be dippy, at times.)

She grabbed her phone, and blinked at Sasuke's text.

Was he trying to flirt with her, or something?

Because if he was, that was kind of suckish.

* * *

**From: Sakura-chan  
To: Sasuke  
to be in my awesome presence, and maybe something else. but only if you come get me.**

**From: Sasuke  
To: Sakura-chan****  
that's not all that interesting. but i'm bored, so i guess i'll go.**

* * *

Rolling his eyes, he started the car and came to a stop on the first stop sign of his street.

And then he remembered he had no idea where Sakura lived. Sighing and running an agitated hand through his hair, he began to drive aimlessly.

She was _so _damn annoying.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _No, it wasn't._

Huh. Then, you should definitely finish it.  
(I hate science?)

-Thunder

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: It was, too, funny!_

That's what I was doing? I'm just waiting for a friend of mine to come pick me up.  
(A lot of people hate science. Usually, I like it, but this... this is ridiculous.)

-Superstar

* * *

Sakura waited ten minutes, patiently.

But Sakura had never been very patient.

She grabbed her phone, read his text, and wondered briefly if he even knew how to get to her place. She kind of a had a feeling that it was leaning to the negative side. So she flipped her phone closed and then open again, and flicked through her contacts quickly.

She hit talk.

"Hi, it's me. Do you even know where I live?"

* * *

"What do you think?"

He was beginning to lose his temper - not that that was anything new, Sasuke was always a very annoyed person and this was just ridiculous. Seriously. He was glaring out the window and running a hand through his hair in annoyance.

Sasuke continued to glare as Sakura gave him directions - which he was positive she was giving to him through gritted teeth. That girl was not only annoying, but she was weird as well.

He turned and drove and turned through the streets until he finally arrived and double parked in front of a white and pale green house.

And then he, muttering an "I'm here" into the receiver, he clicked and waited for her to come out.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

The room was spinning like a top around him.

Itachi blinked.

Was this what being high would be like, he wondered blearily as he tried his best to get out of bed and stand up. But the constant rotation of his surroundings disoriented him to the point that he just fell into an awkward pile of limbs on the ground.

Why was it so hot in here? Did he die? Go straight to hell? He had known he had done his best to torture Sasuke in little ways but he didn't think he was _that_ bad of a person...

Then the bag of ice that had been wrapped in a towel fell off the pile of blankets that he had swept to the side in his unconscious effort to relieve the heat in his system fell on his head and the person he hadn't noticed in the doorway snickered.

His mother rushed into the room. "Itachi! Itachi! Here!"

All of the pieces fell into place- the ice pack, the heat, the thermometer being brandished in his face...

God, he hated fevers.

* * *

Shisui poked her head through the front door of her uncle and aunt's house.

Not that she really wanted to be here. The thought of Itachi still kind of made her stomach churn (in a good-not-good-_really-really-really_-good-who-was-she-kidding kind of way). Even after a week, her brain and her heart and _everything_ was still kind of messed up.

But she missed him. She knew that much.

"Ita? Auntie 'Koto? Is anyone there?" she called.

Thirty seconds later, Mikoto came rushing out of Itachi's room, looking frazzled. "Oh, Shisui, thank god your mother sent you. Fugaku just called, and he absolutely refused to tell me what he needed, and I have to pick up some Nyquil, because Itachi's sick, and - Shisui, dear, are you alright?"

The skin around Shisui's eyes had tightened, and her lips had pressed into a thin line. "I'm fine, Auntie. Go find Uncle, I'll take care of Itachi until you get back."

Mikoto sighed in relief, and pressed an impromptu kiss to Shisui's cheek she she gathered up her coat. "Thank you, honey, I appreciate it."

And then she was gone, and Shisui was left alone. She squared her shoulders, and headed towards Itachi's room. Well, it was probably better to get this over with, anyway; she couldn't avoid him forever, right?

(And besides. That thought made her squeak in mental terror. Not that she'd admit it.)

* * *

Itachi kind of tilted his head when someone else entered the room.

"You know," he drawled, "this fever must be terrible because I _swear_ I'm having a hallucination."

He heard a familiar voice say, "And why is that?"

"Because Shisui hates me and never wants to see me again." He didn't care that his voice was childish and pouting. Before, he hadn't really realized how the "disappearance" of Shisui had cut him so deeply. He missed her the same way he'd missed his secret "blanky" when his father had decided that four was too old to have a blanky.

Itachi's voice softened as he closed his eyes and leaned back on the bed frame. "I miss Shisui."

* * *

Shisui bit her lip, and gently pressed her fingers against his forehead.

He was burning up.

Which mean that he was probably hallucinating, and would likely have absolutely no memory of this event. Shisui got that guilty feeling in her stomach that she sometimes got, right before she knew she was going to do something that she was probably going to feel bad about, later.

(Using Itachi's diseased haze to extract some information was one of those things.

Oh well.)

"She doesn't hate you, Itachi, don't be silly. You're her best friend. And - you don't really miss her. I know you don't."

* * *

"You know, if you took telepathic lessons, you had better go get your money back." He frowned, his brow creasing as he tried to try to find a way to explain to this oddly _realistic_ hallucination the truth.

Itachi had thought hallucinations were based on the subconscious desires- that something about them, like dreams, could be interpreted to tell you something about yourself that was maybe hidden in your waking state.

But he didn't _want_ Shisui.

(He _need_ed her- like Pooh needs honey, like the grass needs rain, and like every hand needs another hand to hold. Not that he'd ever admit it, because need breeds weakness, because weakness breeds contempt, and because contempt breeds... Needing something just sucked.)

"Itachi? You still with me?"

Obviously this one was clueless (Itachi didn't know if he meant her or himself. Maybe neither or both. What did it matter?).

Kind of like his cousin Shisui.

"Mrrflrr." He felt her presence shifting towards him and couldn't help but pull away. "So _hot_..."

* * *

_Well, at least we know how he f__eels_, a sarcastic voice in the back of her head muttered - it sounded like Temari.

Shisui frowned. She pulled away from him, to give him some space, and murmured "Itachi, you're broiling. I'm going to go get a cold compress, okay? I'll be right back."

As Shisui was getting up, an arm shot out, and too-hot fingers wrapped around her wrist. She looked down at Itachi, shocked, and faintly amused; possessive bastard. She carefully pried his fingers off. "I'll only be five minutes. You'll be fine."

"Nu-uh," he muttered in a rather strange voice, and tightened his grip on her wrist. "I hear... voices. They're awful." Itachi blinked arrogantly, and said "You have to stay. With _me_."

Shisui sighed, and stopped trying to move away. "Well, I always knew you were crazy."

That, and she'd forgotten how needy he was, when he was sick. It had been one of her childhood / early teenage woes. When Itachi got sick, he got _needy_. And he hated to let her out of his sight, if Shisui remembered correctly.

Shisui smiled fondly at him. "Idiot."

* * *

He couldn't help it.

He _pouted_. "I'm not crazy or an idiot. Just... lonely, I guess. Who else do I ever really talk to or spend time with other than you and the guys at Akatsuki? And we both know that _they_ are the crazy ones. Remember when Tobi decided that it would be a good idea to replace all of the alcohol with juice because... well, no one understands why he did it, but that's the point, I suppose."

Tracing the simple line carved into his bed post with a finger, Itachi wondered why he hurt. It wasn't the pain from sickness- sore muscles that couldn't be stretched until they were as good as new. It was just pain and hurt. He wondered for a few minutes if it was heartburn or something, but he shook his head almost the instant the thought appeared in his mind. His diet was healthy and he didn't really suffer from stress.

Shisui was looking at the door again with that contemplative look that he knew better than anything else and it was all he could do not to throw himself at her.

"Do you hate me?" His voice was small and he wanted to kick himself in the jugular for even asking such a question. It was stupid and why should he care? She had been avoiding him; some part of him, deepdeepdeep down knew it.

He wasn't sure he could take it though.

What he _did_ know was that he wasn't okay with it.

* * *

Shisui blinked.

Hadn't he... not known that it was her?

She shook her head; Itachi was not only needy and possessive, he got a little crazy, and he hallucinated. He wasn't going to remember it, anyway. She brushed damp hair off his forehead, fingers lingering without thought. "No, Ita," she murmured. "I don't think I could ever hate you. But you drive me so, so crazy, you know?"

"Like you can talk," he muttered indistinctly, and Shisui kind of gave him a half-smile.

"I can talk, you idiot. You've been driving me up the wall since I was fourteen. It's not fair. And yes, I do remember when Tobi did that. He told me that it was because people were going to get liver damage, and he thought that that was bad. He's always been one of my favourite cousins, that silly little kid-at-heart."

* * *

"He annoys me a lot."

Itachi never remembered anything he said when he had a fever. It was just like when he got completely wasted those long ago adolescent days. He could never remember exactly why he reached over to tip the bottle, but it was something that hurt.

Something that could only be drowned out by fuzzy vision and burning liquid.

"I _know_ he's teasing me... And I can't do a damn thing about it."

His head tilted forward until it was resting on her shoulder. He was breathing on her arm...

There were no more words to tell her what he didn't fully understand.

So he just listened to the faint sound of her heart beating and every breath going in and out of her body.

* * *

Shisui froze.

She wasn't even thinking, not really. _Breathe, Shisui, breathe_, she told herself, and eased herself onto the bed.

Reasons that this was not smart:

A) She was Shisui, and he was Itachi, and she was in love with him, and he was stupid.  
B) This could end really, really badly.  
C) He was sick, so he probably-almost-assuredly wasn't going to remember the encounter as a whole.  
D) She was going to get her hopes up, only to have them crash around her ears.  
or  
E) All of the above.

Shisui sighed, and almost allowed him to practically cling to her. "It's okay, Ita, I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay here until you feel better."

* * *

His thoughts muddled, Itachi was now confused. What was real and what was in his head. He felt her soft skin under his pounding headache. Her smell- silk, caramel, and pears- was comfortable, sending him close to the edge of sleep.

Itachi felt his eyes close, leaning away from his cousin (the word _bit_ and hurt- maybe he should just forget it all).

"Tell me a story."

(The distant part of his mind- he thought it was Side One- slapped himself on the forehead and wondered what had taken over Itachi's mouth.)

* * *

Shisui bit her lip to keep from giggling. "What kind of story, Ita?"

"Stupid love. Or tragedy..." he paused. "I dunno... you choose. I'll be happy whatever you decide."

"How about a little bit of both?"

He said nothing, and simply watched her through dazed eyes, expectant.

Shisui laughed softly. "Okay. The legend of Tristan and Isolde, I guess..."

She took a breath of air into her lungs. "Once upon time, there was a knight called Tristan. He was a great knight. Cornish. But one day, he was in a duel with another knight, called Morholt, and killed him. Tristan was badly wounded. Even so, he went to Ireland, to gather the lady Isolde, for his uncle's prize-bride."

Shisui looked down at Itachi. He looked... _really_ not healthy. Her forehead furrowed. "Ita, I really need to get you some water. Let me go, please. I'll be back, I promise."

* * *

No.

She couldn't leave.

He wouldn't let her.

But he said nothing, just looked at her with expectant eyes.

...

Well, he _was_ a bit thirsty.

Itachi sighed and slumped back.

"Fine. You'll be back really soon, right?"

* * *

She nodded, and carefully extricated herself from Itachi's quietly possessive grip.

"Yeah," Shisui told him. "Less then five minutes, I promise."

She slipped out of the room, treading carefully. There was no one else in the house, but, well, still. Shisui didn't want to disturb Itachi's already-failing rest. She headed to the kitchen, and rifled through all of Auntie Mikoto's pots and pans. She found a plastic mixing bowl, and a clean rag. She threw the rag into the bowl, and turned the tap on, and let the cool-ish water begin to fill it up.

She stood, and looked out the window for thirty seconds.

Okay. This was getting to be a little bit dangerous.

Like. Actually _incredibly_ dangerous.

Itachi made her stomach do flip flops.

And that just wasn't right.

Shisui sighed, filled a cup up with water, as well, and turned the tap off. She carefully balanced the two water containers on a tray (found in one of the several billion cupboards), and went back to where Itachi was. She stopped just outside the door, and breathed in courage.

She was _totally ready_ for this.

(Ish.)

* * *

Shisui- or the Hallucination of Shisui, which he abbreviated as the HOS- was out of the room, so he let himself just... fall on to the bed. He could have used "flop", but falling was more... dignified and at this point, when he felt like he was in the depths of Tartarus or hell, he'd take every bit of dignity that he could lay his hands on. A breath blew out of his nose with a rush- almost a huff but more like a- okay, so he huffed.

His window was across the room, but through the branches and flowers and leaves of the cherry blossom tree outside- he remembered watching with Shisui from his window when his mother had planted it and needed his father and uncle to lift it because it was rather heavy and- no! stay focused... Through the cherry blossom tree and all of the memories in-between its limbs, he could see a cloud floating by the window with a hint of stars and moon.

...

Shisui had been gone a while.

Had it been five minutes yet?

Stumbling off the bed with mild panic, Itachi tried best to make it to the door so he could go down the stairs and- when did the lights end up on his floor? In an attempt to miss the light bulb, he slipped on something soft and found another way to get to the door.

That was going to leave a mark, he thought absentmindedly as he stared at the large red mark under his black T-shirt that had raised up in the slide.

Wood-floor burn was a bigger bitch than carpet burn.

* * *

Shisui heard a crash, and hurried up the last three steps. Itachi was sprawled on the floor, looking both pitiful, and in pain. She groaned, and carefully put the tray down.

She was going to have to help him up, because he didn't look like he was going anywhere, anytime soon. She sighed, and got down on her knees to help him up. "My god, Itachi, you are an idiot, I told you I wouldn't be long... You're going to kill yourself, silly!"

Itachi mumbled something incoherent, and clutched at her.

"I know, I know, being sick is gross, but you need to get back in bed, Ita. You're sick, and you need rest."

Shisui helped him sit up (she ignored the fact that he was pretty much _snuggling_), and half-dragged-half-carried him across the small bit of floor he'd managed to cross. She shoved him back in bed, and told him, rather sternly "_Stay_ there, Ita, or I will _not_ be happy with you."

* * *

Itachi couldn't help but pout. "You were gone for _forever_. I was..." His mouth got stuck around the word "worried" and spat out "bored, waiting for you" instead. He pretended that he didn't notice Shisui look panged, but he couldn't help wilting slightly.

"I want to go outside."

Then he paused.

"I want to go to bed. Please?"

* * *

Shisui did something that was between a wince and a sigh. Or maybe it was both, she was starting to lose track, when it came to Itachi.

"You _are_ in bed, Ita," Shisui said quietly. "I'm going to get your water, and then you're going to sleep, and then I'll go home, okay?"

She stood up, and retreated to the doorway to gather herself. She picked up the tray with the two water containers, and went straight back to where Itachi was. She sat down in the chair that was still sitting next to his bed, and wrung out most of the water from the cool rag, and gently placed it on his forehead.

"Here," she murmured, and helped him sit up, and help the glass of water at his lips. She could feel the cool droplets of water on his forehead, and hoped that he would feel better.

* * *

His sight was feeble through the fever, but his hand shot out, grasping for the closest part of Shisui that he could find- her thin wrist. Faintly, he could hear Shisui gasp.

"Don't leave me," Itachi rasped. His mouth, no matter how much he drank, grew dry. He knew not whether it was because of the fever or because thinking about Shisui leaving him made his breath quicken and his pulse race.

"Of course." Her voice came from over a distance, soothing despite its harried sound.

"Just... let go of my throat, 'kay?"

"...Of course."

* * *

"You are going to be the _death_ of me," Shisui muttered, and rolled her eyes.

He hadn't been holding her throat hard; in fact, it was more like he was just desperate to get her to stay, and even then, he'd been infinitely gentle.

...

Stupid Itachi.

She reached down, and took the cool cloth away from his forehead. She dunked it in the water again, and wiped his face. "You are such a baby, Ita, did you know that?"

* * *

Did she see the way his eyes narrowed in thought? If so, she couldn't read his mind.

She still needed to stay. He couldn't answer if he needed her to stay- he just knew the situation demanded that she did.

Though... he wouldn't tell her that if- _when_- she demanded to know why he had snaked his right arm around her waist and tugged her down until she sprawled across his bed- across _him_.

It was very comfy.

Which was why he finally let go and let the fever and sickness drag him down into unconscious blackness.

* * *

"Uhm... Ita?" Shisui voice came out a squeak.

And he was already passed out.

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god, _why_? This was just flat-out _cruel_. Seriously, what sort of personal / being / deity allowed something like _this_ to happen?

BECAUSE, HI, THIS WAS NOT COOL.

Shisui took a deep, deep breath. Okay. He was passed out. It was unlikely that he'd be able to hold her down if she really wanted to escape. And uhm, as a general rule, Shisui _really_ wanted to escape the current situation.

So she tried.

And tried.

And tried.

And it didn't actually get her anywhere.

It just got her tangled up in his arms and his thrown-off sheets.

...

Shit. How was she going to get out of _this_ one? She tried to escape his grasp for another few moments.

And then Shisui realized it was totally pointless. Itachi wasn't going to be letting go of her anytime soon, and, as much as she secretly wished it would stay like that, it was probably not a good thing for her mental health. She sighed, and let him clutch her closer. He was shaking like he was freezing cold, the way a fever is apt to make a person shake, so Shisui just tugged the covers on his bed up over the both of them, and sighed softly.

She wasn't going anywhere any time soon. She'd best make the best of it. A catnap actually sounded absolutely amazing, right then, anyways.

Shisui closed her eyes, and let herself fall asleep.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Sakura tucked strands of pink that were falling out of the loose bun she'd stuffed her hair into, behind her ear, and pulled a red pea coat over her shoulders. She peeked out the window, and smiled when she saw Sasuke's car in the driveway. She slipped outside, and headed towards his car.

She tossed her hair over her shoulder, and got in.

Of course, as soon as she did, he grumbled, and gave her a look.

Sakura grinned a I-have-pointed-teeth-do-as-I-say-or-become-prey grin, and said, voice playful, "Take me to the library, slave."

* * *

This was the part where he gave her a deadpan, ha-you're-funny-in-the-not-really-funny-way look.

Shaking his head, he put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway and, shifting the stick to drive, he drove off towards the library. It was... quiet in the car and he almost wished Superstar didn't have to go because then he'd at least have some source of entertainment.

Speaking of which... Since when was Sakura quiet?

He turned to look at her and caught himself checking her out.

That's when he gave up, grumbled to himself, and just focused on the road.

Tch, so damn _annoying_.

* * *

"The light is green, Sasuke. Drive."

Sakura watched Sasuke jolt out of what looked to be very deep thought, and he hit the gas pedal. They jerked forward, and Sakura was secretly happy about the seatbelt. Ino and Sasuke drove almost exactly the same, and she really ought to be used to it by now, but...

Yeah, she wasn't.

Sakura muttered, snuggled down into the leather seat, and shot a glance at Sasuke.

...

_Wow_, he was pretty.

* * *

His jaw-muscle constricted at the notion of a pair of eyes on him.

He said nothing, did nothing and continued to drive. You'd think he was used to having people (read: girls... and at times guys.) eat him with their eyes, undressing him with their stares and things like that... or, like, worse.

It was all Sasuke could do but inwardly sigh in relief when the library-building came into view.

Now, while they'd be in there Sakura would go Nerd on him and he can... sleep, maybe?

Whatever.

He glared and looked for parking.

Sakura. Annoying. Fuck _yeah_.

* * *

Sakura waited for Sasuke to finish parking, and get his chicken-but-haired head out of the car. She grabbed his wrist, and was perfectly content to drag him towards the library's double doors.

"C'mon, let's go!" she sang at him.

Sasuke looked annoyed, but Sakura just grinned at him. "Stop being such a spoil-sport, Sasuke! I bet you weren't doing anything important, anyway. It's just the library, and it's a great place to find books, and study, and-"

The glare he shot her both shut her up, and made her grin some more.

It was sad, how easy it was to rile him up.

* * *

"What a nerd," he muttered, a deep, childish frown on his lips.

Sakura turned to glare at him with a glare that rivaled his own before letting go of his hand and running off to find... books. Or something like that. He sighed and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his dark skinnies and tried (tried being the keyword here) to keep up with her.

But Sakura, around books, looked like a sugar-high kid in a playground.

Snorting, Sasuke walked down one of the sections where Sakura seemed to be having trouble getting to a book. Fighting a smirk, he reached towards the book without a problem and handed it to her. "You should try growing an inch or two."

She stuck her tongue out at him and Sasuke couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"You should also put that back inside your mouth." _Or I'll put it inside mine_.

...He was hanging out with Kiba and Suigetsu a little too much.

* * *

Sakura raised an eyebrow at him, and smiled a little, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"And if I don't?"

He was smirking. That could _not_ be a good thing. "Then it'll have to go somewhere else."

Sakura blinked. And couldn't help herself.

"Like where?"

Sasuke took a single step towards her, and loomed over her. He did that a lot, and it _still_ kind of freaked Sakura out (butonlyalittleomfghe'), and, that damn smirk still in place, murmured "Like in _my mouth_."

Hello, dangerous territory, it's so nice to see you again, how have you been? But, you know, the thing about Sakura was that she kind of liked being in trouble. It had a nice flavour, made her spine tingle, and shiver, and her stomach curled in on itself, and - well, and it made her want to live, a little.

"Yeah? Prove it."

And then she stuck her tongue out, stood on her tiptoes, and licked his bottom lip.

* * *

With that smirk still intact, and that groan that wanted to escape past his lips swallowed and obliterated, Sasuke kept his promise.

And they were soon kissing rather heatedly against the grand bookshelf. She was running her hand through his hair, pulling it, even and it was all Sasuke was doing from restraining himself from _lifting _her off the ground to get... you know, a better angle.

Before he could, like, you know, lose control, Sasuke pulled away; breathing a bit heavily, and staring at her with half-dimmed, half-lidded eyes.

Must. Not. Do anything stupid.

Must. Not. Do anything stupid.

"Proven," he breathed out.

Her eyes were just as dimmed as his and she was breathing a bit heavily. "Lies," she said, voice breathy, "Prove it again."

Seconds later, his lips were smashed against hers and their kissing continued, full force.

* * *

Sakura found herself shoved up against a bookcase.

(Sasuke seemed to like doing that to her - shoving her against hard surfaces, and kissing the breath out of her lungs. Not that Sakura was complaining, or anything. Actually, it kind of made her head spin and her heart beat and made her feel alive. That had to mean something, right?

Sai had never made her feel like that. Not ever.)

Sasuke mouth was making its way down Sakura's throat, and she hummed in pleasure. He could have had no idea how good that felt.

Her stomach flip-flopped, and Sakura pulled him closer. "We are going to be in _so_ much trouble," she whispered.

But she was too far past coherence to care.

* * *

"Don't care," he muttered against her skin.

Sasuke... No, he had no reigns on his control and he didn't really know what was going on but what he was doing came to him like second nature and it was kind of fucking amazing and he kind of wished he didn't have to stop; but he knew he did. It was just a matter of when and where.

"I'll never forgive you if we get kicked out."

He smirked and chuckled lowly. "We didn't get kicked out of the water park," he mumbled.

"That's because we didn't get caught."

He nipped at her collarbone and let out a scoff, "What makes you think we'll get caught here?"

"What makes me think we won't?"

"Sakura, shut up."

"Make me."

He stopped kissing her neck, pulled away and stared at her with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. "...Really."

"Really."

And then he was kissing her again.

* * *

Sakura let Sasuke hike her up (she mentally cursed her height, but that was the last thing she could really think about; everything else was Sasuke_Sasuke_Sasuke_**Sasuke**_, and Sakura didn't even care, because he made her crazy and it was _incredible_), and she wrapped her arms around his neck, and her legs around his waist. She vaguely thought that he was lucky that the bookcase was shoved up against the wall; it wouldn't have been able to take this sort of pressure, otherwise.

The clack of heels against marble from far away had Sakura squeaking.

"Someone's _coming_!" she whispered into his ear, suddenly frantic, not sure if the beating of her heart was from fear or Sasuke or both.

He was so close that she could feel the smirk that was making it's way across his face.

"So...?" he asked, his voice an amused, low, faintly strained whisper.

And Sakura started to babble. "But we'll get caught and we'll get kicked out and I'll be sad because I'll have to be mad at you because I love the library and-"

* * *

"Sakura, shut up... calm down."

He strained his hearing and rolled his eyes. "It's on the other side," he muttered, setting her down on the ground and bending over to pick up her scattered stuff. "Here."

Sasuke heard her choke on her words as she stared down at her bag and then back at him and repeating the motion. He stared at her for a good minute, deciding she was really weird and that no amount of studying or her _trying _to explain would get him to understand what goes through her head. He shook his head, took her hand in his and led her towards the tables the library provided.

"So, study."

He then slouched in his seat, arms crossed in front of his chest, and stared at all the people almost devouring the computers or the books with their eyes. He wouldn't be surprised if they were _drooling_. The jock within him (also known as Suigetsu, Kiba and Naruto) snorted and counted how many nerds the library had today.

* * *

Sakura huffed.

The look that Sasuke was shooting all the people in the library... She _knew_ that look. That was the I'm-a-jock-what-the-hell-am-I-doing-here look. And Sakura really just couldn't have that. Books were beautiful! Books were wonderful! Books were - they were -

...Sakura had to fix this. She looked down at the books in front of her, and slipped her AP Bio book out, and opened it. There, that was done.

Now, the question was: _how_ to make Sasuke understand that books were the saviour of all the world?

The answer, of course, was to make him awkward. And to see that books were clearly the most incredible things since, well, since the printing press.

And then the Karin-voice that Sakura had been trying to suppress for a very long time popped up in her head. Sakura could just _see_ her old friend - hand on a cocked hip, glasses sliding down her nose, red hair over her shoulder. _Well, honey_, the Karin-voice said, _it's actually super-easy. FEEL HIM UP UNDER THE TABLE. He'll pay attention to anything you say, then_.

Sakura was scandalized.

How was that thought even _coming_ from her?

(...Well, it wasn't really her. It was the mental manifestation of one of her best friends; said friend was kind of insane.)

_DO IHT,_ the Karin-voice ordered. _BE A SLUT LIKE MEE, IT'S WAY MORE FUN._

Sakura could just _see_ the smile working itself across Mental!Karin's face. Crap. And she had absolutely no idea what to do. But she realized that she couldn't control the fact that she would absolutely _love_ to see his face if she, say, danced her fingers up his thigh...

And so Sakura, head bent over her AP Biology textbook, did exactly that.

* * *

Almost instantly did Sasuke's eyes widen and his frame went absolutely rigid to the point where every muscle in his body constricted from the strain.

His eyes shot towards Sakura and almost allowed himself to gawk.

What. The. Fuck.

...Was... Fucking shit, was that her _hand _feathering it's way up his thigh?

Sasuke swallowed hard - a gulp, basically and tried to compose himself. Seriously. Sasuke was not supposed to get, you know, this way... and stuff. He cleared his throat and went back to staring at the people, wary.

...And then he felt her hand again...

"What are you doing?" he hissed through his teeth, his brow contorting into a frown.

* * *

Sakura restrained the giggles that were currently trying to work their way out of her body. Well, if this wasn't payback for always taking her by surprise and freaking the hell out of her, what was? Sakura looked him straight in the face, expression bland.

"Yes, Sasuke?"

"_What. Are. You. Doing_?" he reiterated. still through clenched teeth.

Sakura gave him a just-as-bland-as-her-previous-expression smile, and murmured "Am I doing something _wrong_?", even as her fingers continued ghosting up and down his right thigh.

"..._Stop it_."

"And if I don't?"

He made a very unattractive choking sound at the back of his throat, and Sakura could only giggle. It was so funny to see him go so stiff over something so... unimportant, really. At least Sakura suddenly understood why Tenten was always picking on Neji; it was _funny_.

(All of which meant that she wasn't going to be stopping anytime soon.)

* * *

Sasuke cleared his throat again and shifted around in his seat, snatching one of the many books she took and flapping its cover open-close-open-close as a means to distract his attention away from... from... what she was _doing_.

He was biting the inside of his cheek and glaring and wishing death upon everything and wondering _how _he got himself into these messes.

...that was before her hand went a little bit higher.

"Oh my fucking god," he hissed to himself, closing his eyes and trying to think about something... something that did not have to do with Sakura and other things...

"Hmmm," she hummed questioningly.

"Shut up," he growled back.

"Sasuke, what's _wrong_?"

He soon decided he might actually hate Sakura Haruno.

* * *

Sakura mentally smiled the self-satisfied smile of a cat. There was something that was _immensely_ satisfying about this situation.

She shot him a fake-concerned look; his lips were tight, the skin around his mouth taut, and his eyes blazing.

_God_, he was attractive.

"Sasuke, are you sure you're okay? You look a little... pale..."

Her nails contracted against his inner thigh.

* * *

Sasuke couldn't hold it back any longer - he grunted lowly. His muscles continued to constrict in protest of his rigidness but, fuck, he didn't know what the fuck _else _to do. Sakura was a conniving little pink haired vixen and fuck if he didn't want to... SHUT THE FUCK UP; he glared.

"Sakura. _Stop it_."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Sasuke." She sounded so innocent and Sasuke wanted her to go away.

"Stop pretending to be _stupid_," he hissed.

"Stop pretending you're not _enjoying _this."

"Stop starting something you _won't_ finish to the _end_." By then, his hands were curled into tight fists that made the skin over his knuckles turn as white as a sheet of paper.

"Who says I won't finish? I always finish what I start."

Sasuke twitched, then. And then his mind began to fill up with images and he resisted the urge to grunt again because... FUCK, what the hell was going on.

"Sakura..."

* * *

"Mhmm?"

And her fingers went for his zipper.

He caught her wrist before she could even manage to get her fingers around the little metal clasp. His grip was light, barely there, but his voice was lower and more strained with raw _need_ then Sakura ever remembered consciously hearing it. "Let's get out of here."

Sakura just pasted _his_ signature smirk on her face, and said "I was wondering when you were going to snap."

"Shut up," he almost snarled. "Less talk, more walk."

They somehow managed to gather up the books that she'd scattered across the table, and shoved them back into Sakura's pink-and-grey bag. Sasuke threw a possessive arm around her waist, and together, they practically _ran_ out of the library's double doors.

They only barely made it to his car.

* * *

So... the plan was to just throw her bag into the backseat and then drive off, but then they started kissing and it got heated and Sakura was so damn fucking addicting and it wasn't his fault. Honestly.

It was when he had her hiked up and against his car, lips making a brand new hickey on her neck, that he realized they needed to continued this elsewhere.

"Fuck," he breathed out, lowering her down to the ground before running a hand through his wild disheveled hair. "Okay... Let's... Let's go..."

In record time of three seconds, they were inside the car and out of the parking lot. Sasuke's driving was usually wild and crazy and dangerous - enforce all that with the need that was curling in his stomach, and the girl that was sitting next to him, and the thoughts running through his head...

They were flying.

It was not his fault that they ended up at the deserted beach. How he got them there, he didn't know - he was just doing turns and driving and turning and driving... Seriously.

He stopped the car's engine and licked his lips, staring out at the waves and running a hand through his hair. God... that water looked utterly inviting right at that moment - and if she... if... he was going to have to...

Sasuke groaned and closed his eyes.

* * *

Sakura had thrown all caution to the wind.

As soon as Sasuke finished parking, she unbuckled her seatbelt, and climbed into the back seat, effectively changing places with her bag. She stripped off her jacket, and tossed it back in the front seat, and a stone-frozen Sasuke stared at her, even as she pulled her t-shirt over the top of her head, and threw it, too, back into the front seat.

She sat in the back seat, mostly topless, and shivered. It was cold, still, in the interior of the car, and goosebumps rose over her exposed skin.

She could hear the ocean crashing, from here.

Sakura shuddered once more, and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Get your _ass_ back here. _Now_. I'm not doing all the work myself," she told him, one hand in the belt-loop of her jeans.

* * *

It took him a second or two, but with all the shit Inner Suigetsu, Inner Naruto and Inner Kiba were saying in his head, he took off his hoodie and took off his shirt before climbing into the back seat next to her. And almost instantly did their lips lock and their hands traveled across pale skin.

Somewhere in his head, a voice was cackling at the fact that Sasuke was going to get laid, while Itachi was sick. And another voice reminded him of how delighted his mother is going to be if she ever (WHICH SHE WOULD NOT. GODDAMNIT, SHE WOULDN'T) found out.

But, it wasn't like he cared. Right then, all he was thinking about, all he wanted to think about, was Sakura - pink hair, green eyes, soft skin.

His hand pulled at her zipper, tugged the jeans down, down, down, down. And his lips trailed down to her neck, down to her collarbone, down to her chest.

And her muffled moans were like music.

Everything after that was a haze of something inexplicable.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

... Itachi could feel someone standing in the doorway.

The way they were staring intently at him made Itachi clutch at the thing in his arms tighter. It was like one of those nightmares where you are ensconsed safely at home when suddenly you feel like someone's looking at you except you can't see them. Those are the worst. (He _swore_ he could hear someone murmuring, "_It's only a matter of time until they'll give me children who will call me Obaa-san or grandmother. Gah! Can't wait. They'll be beautiful children."_

...

What was he holding? He had _told_ his mother that he was too old for Lord Fluffy-Socks the Rabbit! Was she trying to baby him _yet again?_

But then whatever he was holding shifted and was _warm_ and it was all he could do to not jump out of bed and shriek like a little girl.

He settled with blinking with wide eyes at the sleepy person in his arms.

"_Shisui_? What... what happened?"

* * *

Shisui was asleep.

She was asleep, and comfortable, and she was really, really, _really_ annoyed at whoever it was that was trying to wake her up and/or talk to her. Didn't they know the rules? No one woke Shisui up, not if they wanted to live. _Ever_. **_Ever_**.

"Hhnnghgn? Whaa? Wh're m'I?" Shisui mumbled, as part of her brain tried to wake up.

But that didn't work so well.

So she cuddled down, and curled closer to whatever entity it was that was so comfortably wrapped around her. She nuzzeled her face into the crook of whoever it was' neck. Said person was warm and comfortable and made her not think about stupid boys.

Clearly, that was A Good Thing.

"Go ba'k t'sleep, mmkai? Talk later..."

* * *

Giving his cousin a slight glare, Itachi sat up, sending her flailing on to the ground in a haphazard search for stability in a world that had probably seemed to fall into a million pieces.

"Mother, you do know creeping is rude?" His voice seemed to jolt his cousin into life. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her brush herself off and smile at his mother.

"Oh, but you two were just sleeping! Do you feel better, Itachi-chan?"

"Yes, thank you." He kept his voice calm, not betraying all of the questions bubbling beneath the surface. What had happened? How long had he been asleep and had anything... strange... happened before he fell asleep? Why was he sleeping with Shisui- innocently, of course? None of it made sense...

Outside the window, he saw the twinkle of the far away satellite tower's red lights and a helicopter in the distance. There was just a glow in the faraway horizon to prove that the sun had even risen to set that day.

"Mother, could you please go get me a glass of water? I'm still feeling a tad bit... ill."

He tried that infamous puppy dog look- downcast eyes, stuck out lower lip, and praying that he had a pale complexion.

Apparently he had successfully made himself look rather sick indeed as his mother's eyes widened and she fairly _jetted_ out of the room.

Itachi turned to his cousin who seemed to be finally making her way back to reality.

"So..."

* * *

_Control, control, control, Shisui, **get some control**, already!_

Shisui took a DEEP BREATH, and managed to calm herself down. Okay.

She was going to have to tell him... something. Something_s_, actually, maybe, because this was Itachi and he had never liked not knowing things. Shisui sighed, and blinked sleepily at him.

"Ita, everything's fine. You just... kind of... dragged me down, on top of you, because I kept trying to leave, to get you some water. Apparently, sick-you is still needy. Uhm, do you remember anything you said? You were a little bit... out of it."

(Of course, this was Shisui ignoring the Issue At Hand - she was going to avoid the Incident In The Hallway for as long as physically possible. It was better that way. Cousins, cousins, _they were cousins_, remember?)

* * *

He paused to think for a few minutes. There was vague words and a lot of swooping feelings- he couldn't tell if it was because of the fever or that weird feeling he got sometimes around Shisui.

Itachi blinked and narrowed his eyes in concentration.

...

Well. That didn't help clear things up.

So he shrugged his shoulders and just sat there and scrutinized Shisui- the way her hair was [adorably] ruffled from sleep, the way her clothes were [suspiciously] wrinkled, the way her eyeliner was [imperfectly perfect] smudged around her eyes.

Conclusion: he was never going to look at Shisui right after she woke up ever again.

She was too...

He subconsciously squared his shoulders at the indecision for a word- tempting, maybe, but it was a Wrong Word.

She was too...

Whatever.

* * *

He was just looking at her. Shisui's stomach knotted and clenched and did horrible things that made her want to scream. And it was all stupid Itachi's fault, even if he didn't know it.

Damn him.

But... "So... is that a no?"

Itachi just gave her A Blank Look. She translated The Blank Look into something that went along the lines of "No, Shisui, I do not remember anything, and even if I did, I wouldn't be telling you." She grumbled, and sat up, rubbing her left eye.

"Ugh," she mumbled.

"My make-up's all smeary, probably... Ita, help meeeeeee," and her voice was a half-whine. Shisui swiped her fingers underneath her eyes; they came away black. She tiled her face up, and scrunched her nose at him. He was staring down at her rather impassively.

"Is it fixed? I can't go around looking like a raccoon, Temari would never let me live it down..."

* * *

Itachi almost snorted.

But it was just almost, so that was okay.

What was not okay, however, was the way Shisui had compounded her previous makeup disarray into something more than a raccoon. More like-

"You look like a panda who got punched in both eyes." His voice was calm but if Shisui would've stopped looking around frenetically for something- a mirror, perhaps?- she would have seen his eyes twinkling with dark, suppressed mirth.

But she wasn't looking at him, so she missed seeing the look of complete _want_ he sent her way, because he just couldn't help it for once. It was that moment of complete helplessness that just _got_ to him. He was always expected to be strong- he was brought up to be strong- but this was something that he was weak at. No one could see it, but sometimes, Shisui seemed to just _catch_ it. She'd give him this kind of expression that made him relax...

It was kind of cute.

She couldn't do anything without looking cute.

Damn cute.

* * *

Okay. This was okay.

This was back in familiar territory. They were back to being best friends. Hopefully, they'd both decided that the moments of insanity that they (well, _his_ moments of random insanity - Shisui's crush-thing-that-_was-not-supposed-to-exist_ was long-lasting, and not a moment of insanity. It was more like a whole lifetime of insanity, actually...) had were just... unimportant.

Unrealistic.

Maybe.

Shisui dragged herself out of Itachi's bed. It wasn't the first time she'd fallen asleep in his bed, but she _swore_ it was going to be the last. She stood up, and yawned, and stretched, her wrinkled shirt-dress stretching with her. She reached her fingers towards his ceiling, pretending, for a minute, that she was some sort of princess, and that everything was going to work out.

(Sure, honey, whatever you say.)

"I'll be right back, I need to get this make-up off..." Shisui muttered, and headed for the bathroom. She pecked him lightly on the cheek as she was leaving the room.

* * *

He stared after her, his hand resting against his cheek.

Itachi then turned his gaze to his bedside, a calculating look in his eyes.

How hard could it be to knock himself out with his bed side table?

But he gave a sigh and sagged against the pillow. The amount of energy it would require was too much considering his fever just broke and... Giving himself a mental shake, he tried to organize his mind into a semblance of calm. On the outside, he looked just as composed as ever, except for a bit of sweat collecting on the back of his neck. But beneath all of that, his mind was going into overdrive, trying to figure out how to deal with this emotional... _thing_. He'd admitted that he... loved her in some sense of the word in a completely inappropriate way.

However... what to do now that that was acknowledged?

* * *

Shisui wiped the smeared liner off her eyes. She dipped her hand in luke-warm water, and rubbed the flakes of mascara off, too.

Ugh, she was never wearing make-up to bed, again.

Shisui ran her wet fingers through her hair, and just looked at herself, for a few seconds. _Control, control, get some **control**, because this needs to happen, and it needs to happen **right now**_, a quiet little voice in her mind whispered, again.

She gripped the doorknob, and set her jaw. Okay.

Friends. They weren friends.

This was going to work.

(Ish.)

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Sakura was still in the back seat.

Her whole body felt deliciously boneless, exhausted in the sweatiest way. She was cuddled deep into Sasuke's very naked chest (hm. Whatever had happened to the "Uchiha's Do Not Cuddle" rule? _That_ theory just went out the window...), and was perfectly content to not move for a very, very long time.

Her eyes were half-closed, sleepy. Sakura nuzzled her nose into the crook of Sasuke's neck.

"So... Are you gonna take me home, anytime soon?" she asked, her voice raspy and quiet.

(Wow. She'd never lost her voice from screaming, before...)

* * *

Sasuke's eyes were closed and one of his arms was serving as a makeshift pillow, the other one possessively wrapped around Sakura's very naked waist.

"Don't waaaaant," he mumbled.

"Why not?" he heard her ask in a soft, raspy whisper.

His eyes remained closed, even as his hold on her tightened a bit, "Sleep."

"Are you suuuuure?" Sakura asked in a murmur as she nuzzled at his throat. And Sasuke's smirk was back in place.

He cracked an eyes open and looked down at her, smirk on his lips, an eyebrow raised. Next thing they both knew, he was hovering above her, hands supporting his weight from crushing her and lips dragging down the length of her jawline.

"Depends," he murmured, "Can you handle more?"

"Are you implying that I _can't_?"

He placed kisses up her throat and chuckled lowly, "Something like that."

"I think I take offense," he heard her huff.

"Maybe you should get over the offense and prove me wrong."

"Maybe I should."

"Then do it."

By then their noses were touching and their eyes were locked. In a blink of an eye, she kissed him and it triggered the same events all over again.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

"We really have to stop doing this, you know," Sakura whispered, a smile in her voice.

(She didn't really mean it. Please.)

Sasuke grunted, and tightened the grip he seemed to like to keep around her waist. Sakura had somehow managed to get his shirt on (and despite the fact that it drowned her five-four frame, it was both very comfortable, and smelled like Sasuke's cologne), and he'd gotten his pants back on. Sakura sighed.

There was something sad about pants. They were such a cock-block.

Sakura looked up at the ceiling of the car.

"You're funny, Sasuke."

* * *

Sasuke's eyes opened at that.

"How... Why?"

"Just because," she sighed out, "You are."

Sasuke snorted and rolled his eyes. "You're annoying."

He heard her laugh, then and it was all Sasuke could do but allow a short chuckle and a ghost of a smirk. "You need new insults."

"This one's reserved. Just for you."

"Oh?" She shifted so that her weight was leaning on her elbow as she looked down at him through his bangs, "Just for me? And why is that?"

Sasuke was smirking again, "Because."

"Because why?"

He was looking at her now, and she was looking at him. That same voice from before wondered if she felt- he ignored the thing and tried to concentrate on what was coming out of his mouth. "Because it is."

"That's not a very good answer."

He sat up, then. And by doing this, their faces where mere inches apart. Though, neither made to close the gap; their eyes were locked and Sasuke was _not _going to be the first to break the contact. "What kind of answer do you want, then?"

"I don't know," she said, her eyes searching his, he knew. "Something with substance?"

"Like what?" he asked. He was too busy counting the specs of darker and lighter green and yellow around her pupils to actually pay any attention to what was coming out of his damn mouth. "Like a declaration, or something?"

"Yes, please."

He snapped into focus then and he blinked, his eyes still locked with hers. He slowly shook his head, "I don't do declarations, Sakura... You'll have to settle for less."

"I dislike settling." Was she pouting? What? "It's all or nothing with me, Sasuke."

And his lips met hers in a... rather gentle kiss.

* * *

...

...

...

_Hi, you've reached Sakura's brain. Sing your song at the beep!_

_**BLAME KARIN.  
BUT.**  
...**Yum. WE LIKE THIS, OKAY? OKAY. GOOD. GOOD.  
So... what exactly is he to us?  
(Because like, I am totally down for him being my new boyfriend. Totally, totally, TOTALLY DOWN FOR THIS. He's pretty, and stuff. And makes our stomach do this nice swooping thing. Let's face it. He's attractive. We want him.)**_

**_Alright. So we're clear?_**

**_Good. Kaypeace._**

**_ALSO, BLAME KARIN. BLAME HER. IT'S ALWAYS HER FAULT.  
Was there ever any doubt? No. No, there wasn't_**.

* * *

Sakura was not pleased with the fact that she was thinking so much.

But Sasuke was a _really_ good kisser.

Sakura wound her fingers through his hair, and mentally blocked out everything but him - the way his hands felt against her hips; the way they were pressed so close she was breathing him in, instead of air; the way everything just _fit_.

Her stomach did that odd swooping thing again, and Sakura shivered. He was so dangerously gentle. It wasn't really a Sasuke Thing To Do, but at the same time, it very much was. Sasuke was everything; gentle and harsh and beautiful and dangerous and he made her shiver and giggle and he made her...

He made her _want_ things.

She clung closer to him, and simply let him kiss her.

* * *

Sasuke wasn't the type to be romantic. He's never tried it, but this is one of those things you just know about yourself. Sasuke wasn't romantic. Up to where he is, kissing Sakura with the gentleness that he was sure was needed at the moment, was as far as he was able to go... Or well, _knew _what to do.

What was next?

His hands ghosted down her bare thighs (his shirt was riding up) and slowly pulled away; she instantly clung to him and feathered her lips down her jawline. Sasuke smirked, "If you keep this up, there might be a third time."

"Mhmmm..."

"Sakura."

It's not like he didn't mind a third sex round. This was sex. He was male. A nineteen year old male, at that. What made anyone think he'd pass another lay up? But... Sakura? Seriously?

"Sasuke."

He chuckled and unconsciously craned his neck to allow her more access to whatever devious thing she was doing on his neck. "Okay... fuck... Just..."

Sasuke then grabbed her by her hips and brought her to his lap.

Sex. Sex. Sex.

With Sakura.

Fuck _yeah_.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

They managed to take their hands off each other long enough for Sasuke to actually get Sakura home. They had parked in Sakura's driveway, and they sat there, for a minute. And then Sakura had a realization.

"...Sasuke, I can't find my shirt."

"So?"

Sakura gave him a disbelieving look. "Do you somehow expect me to walk outside, _in the cold_, without a _shirt_? Are you _crazy_? I'll freeze, and the neighbours will think things, and - AGH, WHERE IS MY SHIRT."

She was rummaging around the floor, when Sasuke chuckled lowly, and said "You're wearing mine, aren't you? What's the problem?"

Her head shot up so fast, she almost bit her tongue. He was going to let her keep his shirt?

He was looking the opposite direction, but Sakura could tell that he was almost grinning-blushing-_something_-and-that-was-all-that-mattered. A shy smile broke across her face. She link their fingers together, and murmured "Thanks, Sasuke."

* * *

Sasuke grunted and continued to stare at one of her neighbor's mailbox.

It was white.

White.

Tch.

He kindasortamaybe grew stiff when she gave their linked fingers a squeeze and it was kind of like a train reaction that he snapped his head to look at her. Her green eyes were glimmering more than they usually were and Sasuke was kinda-secretly-shhh-don't-tell entranced by it.

"You should head inside," he muttered.

"Yeah, probably..."

She didn't move, tho'. And her fingers were still securely linked with his. Sasuke scoffed and smirked, "You're so annoying."

"And you still need new insults."

He leaned back in his seat and waited for Sakura to be ready to actually leave. Not that he minded her still being next to him. Tch.

* * *

_Silly Sasuke_, Sakura thought.

She leaned across the car's gear shift, and carefully pressed her lips to his cheek, her lips curved up in a smile.

"Thanks for the ride," she murmured against his ear.

And then she slipped out of the car, and headed towards her house. She made it up to the front porch, searched around for her keys for a half-minute, found them, unlocked the door, pushed it open, and then turned around.

Sasuke was still sitting in the driveway, patiently waiting for her to get into the house. Sakura laughed to herself, and raised an arm in the air, to wave at him to let him know that she was perfectly fine.

(Actually, that reminded her. She was going to have to tell... _someone_.)

_Silly Sasuke_, she thought again. And with an amused shake of her head, she slipped inside, and closed the door behind her.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Itachi was jolted out of his twisted thoughts by the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. Moving his head to the right, he watched, through hooded eyes, as Shisui re-entered the room.

"I got it off," she announced as she sat on the edge of his bed and stared at him.

Her eyes were too big, he decided as he looked back at her. That look made his insides do weird things, like his stomach flipping and his heart fairly _thrum_. It was thump-thumping and he wondered if that was how people felt before a heart attack.

He couldn't help but wonder if she knew what she did to him.

* * *

Shisui at down next to him, again.

The chair was hard and uncomfortable, and Shisui knew she'd a hundred times rather be curled up on the bed next to Itachi. He still looked really, really, _really_ sick, and a part of Shisui was still panicking (_what are you doing? He's sick, make him better, if he dies, it'll hurt. What are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING_?).

The silence between them was heavy.

Shisui didn't know what to say.

Now that he was... well, sufficiently coherent, Shisui... Shisui had no idea what she was supposed to say. Was she supposed to tell him "_Yeah, okay, I know, I'm an idiot, I know you don't feel like that about me, I'll stay out of your life, I promise,_" or would she confront the whole issue and get her heart broken?

(A Nasty Little Voice in the back of her head murmured _That's right, you know. He's just not that into you. And he's your **cousin**__. You should know better, Shi-su-i~_.

Shisui grit her teeth.)

* * *

Side Two wouldn't shut up. It kept asking, _Why are you doing this? Why do you torture yourself? Are you a masochist? Do you just **like** that feeling in your chest that pangs and tells you that you are real?_

Itachi just sat there quietly. He felt like throwing up, but sick is as sick does and somethings can only be tolerated.

Then again, he wasn't sure if it was really his stomach...

He had decided earlier that he wouldn't break the silence. What should be will happen.

Meaning he was waiting for Shisui to crack.

* * *

Shisui pulled the masses of shiny black curls over her right shoulder, and looked at Itachi through tired eyes.

A lot of things were running through Shisui's mind. But mostly she was kind of sleepy, and kind of scared, and kind of confused. She yawned, and stretched again.

"Feeling any better?" she asked quietly. He shrugged, a little, and said nothing. A smile curved Shisui's lips. He was so predictable.

"Well, you seem... _better_, I guess. So, uh, I'll just - go. See you later, okay?"

The skin around his eyes tightened, and Shisui frowned. "Ita? Are you alright?"

"Fine," he told her.

Shisui didn't say anything, and tried not to wince. His voice had been sharp. She steeled herself. Well, it was better to go, at this point, then face the Inevitable Confrontation. She sat there and debated her next move. How to go about this?

...

She made up her mind. Shisui bent down, and went to press her lips against his cheek. It was a habit - Shisui kissed the people she cared about, and Itachi qualified (IN A VERY SIBLING WAY. SERIOUSLY.)

Right at the last second, Itachi turned his head and inch to the right, and caught her lips like flies in a spider's web.

Shisui started to panic.

* * *

Extra thoughts from us:

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**Saraa**: I'M BACK ON A LADY GAGA KICK. GOD, I LOVE HER. FLOOR TICKETS IN EDMONTON, BABY.  
**sonya**: SONYA IS NOW EMPLOYED NEXT SCHOOL YEAR, BITCHES. & her roommate... looks like katy perry & zooey deschanel's love child. I LOVE YOU ALL.  
**les**: LES FUCKING GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL. ON STAGE. WUT. also, i am flailing with glee... does anyone have a pregnant tummy i can poke? /is shot at.


	24. how to allow the laughter to commence

Mrrflr, mrrflr. Thanks for the reviews and the support, we wub ya! P.S. Saraa is going to marry Logan Lerman. No joke. He's the exact same age I am, down to the day. I don't care what les says. I want to marry him. LOOK at him! NEED I say more? **_(Sonya Says: He's pretty but I saw him first. Betch.)_** (Saraa replies: You're funny. Really. Ha. Ha. DIE. And my birthday trumps _everything._ LOVE ME.)  
**Disclaimer**: not ours. why even ask?  
**Dedication**: to staying up waaaay too late, cute boys, and glitter.  
SO IT'S SUMMER. WHAAAT.

* * *

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* * *

It was quiet in the kitchen. Karin rubbed her side - stupid bastard father, that had _hurt_. Of course, he was still stinking drunk, and wouldn't remember it in the morning. And she would never tell him; he would hate himself. And right then, he was passed out on her mother's bed, his nose buried in Karin's mother's pillow.

She knew he missed fighting with her mom.

Freak.

Karin winced as she stretched; why did all the men in her life end up giving her bruises, intentionally or not?

Bruises made her think of violence, violence made her think of violent sex, and violent sex made her think of... Suigetsu. Jerk-wad. Stupid-head. Asshole. Karin had been insulting people for a living for almost longer then she could remember, but he really took every issue they had to levels that Karin didn't even think were possible.

And he'd asked her... Well. He'd practically told her to go live with him. Karin was disgusted by how tempting it was. She didn't miss him at all. Really. _Seriously_. She _was not_ lying to herself. Really. _She was not_. There was _no_ way she was even _contemplating_ it.

She tried to convince herself of this, even as she went upstairs, and started packing a bag or two full of clothes.

* * *

Suigetsu snickered, watching the stupid sponge and the even stupider starfish bug the stupid squid.

God, how he loved SpongeBob.

His smirk turned to a frown as he... all of a sudden began to think of _her_. God, what the hell was _wrong _with him? It had been like this for so long - since the last time he saw her. He'd been thinking about her and sulking when he knew he was never going to talk to her and _god _since when was Suigetsu like this?

Never!

Suigetsu didn't get attached to women. That was just not done!

Not done!

He scratched his head and sighed long and hard, turning the TV off and hiding his head under his pillow. Sleep always made him stop thinking of her. Luckily, whatever _this _was hasn't gone far enough to make him start dreaming about her. That'd be the last thing Suigetsu'd want.

He'd go crazy!

So, ignoring the thoughts, ignoring the Little Dude, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to doze off into a light slumber.

* * *

Karin didn't like driving.

Well.

This was not strictly true - she _did_ like driving, but she much preferred sitting in the passenger seat, and watching the world speed by around her. And so, the fact that she was driving right then and there was not something that made Karin happy.

She had no idea where the girls were today - it was a Friday afternoon, so Sakura was probably interning at the hospital; Ino was probably finding ways to make her boytoy's life miserable (highly amusing, that was); Hinata was probably studying, and Tenten... Tenten was probably at Luffy's, happily eating one of those heavenly burgers.

(Lucky betch.)

And out of all five of them, Karin would be the one to leave school early to go take care of her drunk of a father, or her mess of a mother. Friday afternoons were Karin's family's version of "family time". It was probably a pretty twisted definition, but then again, it was all she had.

She turned the steering wheel just enough to ease into the turn onto Suigetsu's driveway. She parked her pretty little car (a 1969 Jaguar E-Type in Signal Red; the note stuck to the hood had read "Happy birthday, Princess. Love, Daddy". Karin had hated him for two solid weeks), there, next to that silver Corvette.

She quietly grabbed her bag -it had just enough clothes stuffed into it to last her the weekend-, and slipped out of the door. She walked -slowly, that still hurt-, to his front door. Habitually bit her bottom lip. Let her stomach twist for a good ten minutes.

And then she finally gathered the courage to raise her hand, and knocked.

* * *

Suigetsu was a light sleeper - he hated that about himself. But something he hated more than being a light sleeper? He hated being woken up. So he muffled incoherent profanities and sunk in deeper under the pillow, shifting around so that he found another comfortable position.

There was a content smirk on his lips when he was ready to doze off.

And then he heard the knock again.

Growling, Suigetsu threw the pillow across the room and sat up, not even bothering to fix his messy hair. He stood up and, clad in loose-yet-still-tight-in-some-weird-way skinnies and his favorite black Rolling Stones t-shirt, he stomped towards his front door.

The knock came back again and Suigetsu unlocked the door and yanked it open. He had a death glare on his bleary-pinkish-red-sleep-induced-eyes, a small sneer on his lips, and his tongue was already forming words to curse at the idiot that-

-He completely froze when he saw Karin standing on his porch. Holding a bag... that seemed to be filled with something. He stared at the bag for around five minutes before his eyes slowly, agonizingly, made their way towards Karin's face. He narrowed his eyes, then they widened, then they went back to normal and he just really didn't know how to react to this.

They cut off their contacts for days - maybe a week or two or whatever - and now... she was here... He licked his bottom lip and dropped his hand down from the doorframe, scooted back and opened the door wider. _Come in._

(He ignored a voice - not the Little Dude, not Kiba, not Sasuke, not Neji [like if he knew anything - Sasuke knew more than him!] and not Naruto - that tried to convince him to send her off. Because then that'd hurt.)

She hadn't moved yet... and Suigetsu went back to staring at her. And... he had _missed _her...

"Hey," he finally croaked out in his deep, raspy voice. His eyes went down to her bag again and then back to her face.

* * *

"Uhm," Karin muttered. Well. _This_ was awkward.

How was _anyone_ supposed to say "Guess what? I'm staying over for the weekend, let me in," in a _somewhat_ polite manner? Karin had no idea.

...

Wow, this was _so awkward_ - her stomach clenched, and she realized that she had actually... kind of... _maybe_... _sort of_... No, no, no, she had not missed him, this was not awkward! Jeez!

Her hair was curly, today - long, loopy curls of bright red. Karin looped a strand of it around her finger, fiddled a bit with her hair, bit her lip. Stupid, she was pulling all her classic "hi-my-name-is-Karin-and-I'm-nervous-as-all-hell-please-like-me" habits out of the box. Great. Just friggin' great.

"Can I come in?" she asked, her voice soft.

* * *

Was it normal that he wanted to kiss her? Was it?

Suigetsu doubted it. And not only that, but he denied it, too. Because he was Suigetsu! He didn't think things like that - let alone _feel _them. He inwardly snorted at himself and rolled his eyes. Seriously, whatever the Little Dude was trying to transform him into, it wasn't working... Okay, so it was. But still. Back the fuck up.

"Sure," he said, running a hand through his hair. He stared at his car as she stepped inside, only turning (slowly, slowly, slowly) his head to look at her when she passed.

Sighing, he closed the door and followed her in.

He stopped right at the entrance of the living room, awkwardly stuffing his hands inside his skinnies' pockets. "Uh... do you... want anything...?" He nudged his chin towards the kitchen and raised an eyebrow.

God... this was... sort of... like normal.

* * *

"No," Karin told him, with a small shrug and a lip-gloss-glitter half-smile. "I'm good, thanks."

It was quiet for a minute, before she said "I got... kinda bored at home. And a little lonely."

She shrugged. Why was it so awkward between them, when they weren't fucking? Seriously, it was ridiculous - she couldn't look him in the eyes, didn't want to look at his mouth, because as soon as she did, she'd have the urge to jump him.

And this probably wasn't the time to go there.

Karin fiddled with her skirt, her fingers worrying the hem.

"Uh-"

"I-"

Damn it, Karin _hated_ it when she started speaking at the same time as someone else did - especially him. It just _irked_ her, on all the levels that counted. She looked up at him, and "shrug-kinda smile awkwardly-gesture he should go first"-ed. If that was even a verb. Whatever, Karin's brain was fuzzy and he was pretty and she was about two seconds away from jumping him anyways, so what did it _matter_?

* * *

"I-"

He sigh-growled and ran a hand through his hair again, taking a couple of steps into the living room before stopping. He looked around the place as if it were his first time there rather than it being his home. What... could he... say...? Well, no, he knew what he wanted to say. He was just... stalling. And nervous.

And... FUCK.

"It's just..." He sighed long and hard and threw himself on the arm chair, slouching in his seat until his backside was handing in the air and his knees were leaning against the coffee-table. He covered his eyes with a hand as he tried to say something he's never said to anyone before without being forced to.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I'm sorry for acting like such a douche... that day in the cemetery. I..."

He cleared his throat.

"I shoulda handled it better. It's just... that..." He trailed off again and licked his bottom lip. This was fuckin' degrading. "He pissed me off. A lot... I... Didn't like what he was sayin' to you."

* * *

Karin just stared at him, a little dazed. Yeah, she knew he'd been pissed about what her dad had said (_what sane person wouldn't be?_ whispered a sardonic little voice in the back of her mind), but - to hear him actually _apologize_ about it...

It was stupid, but it made her smile (and it made her stomach do flip-flops and loops and whirls and _what are you doing, girl, you are zoning out_), and Karin took a step towards him. Okay, he made her swoon a little bit. Was that such a crime?

No, it was not.

She took another small step towards him -he didn't move-, and tilted her head. "Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything out of the norm;-" she paused to grin "-most people react to my dad like that. It's fine."

* * *

He waved it all off before setting his free hand on the armchair's arm, drumming his fingers to it.

Through the spaces in between his fingers, he peered at her for a good minute or two before pressing his fingers together and blocking everything from sight. He sat there, sagging in his seat, drumming his fingers on the chair with one hand and hiding his eyes with the other.

"So..." He finally said before licking his lower lip. It had become a habit, he was noticing. "What brings you here?"

Suigetsu peered at her again, this time lowering his hand to rest on his exposed abdomen. "I mean... You disappeared for a while. It's... surprising."

That portrait on the coffee table? The one he knew by heart? The one of his mother and him? Yeah, who knew it was soooooo pretty?

It was so much better than looking at Karin in the eye.

Definitely.

* * *

"I just - you - I mean - we -" Karin stuttered out - what the _fuck_, she _did not_ stutter. Karin was stronger then that.

Why wasn't he looking at her? She wanted him to _look_ at her.

Asshole.

Karin straightened her back, stalked straight over to where he was sitting on the couch, and glared at him, hands on her hips. "I came because I was bored. And because - because - I don't know why. You're stupid!"

She huffed, and sat down on top of him.

He still wasn't looking at her - his face was turned away, and apparently, he hadn't been expecting to find his arms full of volatile teenage girl. Karin grumbled to herself, and wiggled a little, to get comfortable.

"Why don't you ever look at me?" she asked a minute later, in a smallsmall voice.

* * *

Almost automatically, his hands rose up to wrap around her waist - but he fought it, and forced them to stay where they were... Since when were his walls a light creamish-white color? That was such a nice color - who thought of that one? How creative.

Yeah, that is such a nice color. Indeed-

"Why don't you ever look at me?"

...That made him freeze. Made his insides go haywire - there was a malfunction in his mind and this caused him to slowly, oh so damn slowly, turn to look at her. In the eyes. Locking his eyes on hers. And god... He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. None.

He growled and looked away. Suigetsu had never, in his life, felt this way before.

He glared at the wall and licked his bottom lip again.

"Why-"

"Because it's hard, stupid." He finally bit out, "It's hard to look at you and know I can't keep you."

...Oh fuckin' hell.

What the fuck did he just do?

Oh... Fuck... No.

Suigetsu felt the world come to an abrupt stop.

* * *

Karin's brain short-circuited.

Had he just-? Was that him _asking_ to keep her?

Her brain just short-circuited.

"Okay," she said. "Are you not supposed to keep me, for some twisted reason? Because if that's it, I'm going to kick your ass."

* * *

Suigetsu blinked.

"_What,_" he rasped out. He ran an agitated hand through his hair and glared at the wall again, "Why the hell do you always have to think I'm doing something bad to you? Why the fuck are you so fuckin' paranoid?"

He turned his glare back at her. And... he decided this was what he got for spilling something like _that _to anyone. Especially her.

* * *

Karin growled. Oh no. No, no, _no_. She was _not_ going to let him take this the wrong way. Not _now_. Now after working _so damn hard_ to let him in. Because Karin _was_ scared - scared of everything, really. But not this. Never this.

Whatever the hell _this_ was.

She twined her fingers in his hair, and forced him to look at her, again. She was steaming mad. "_Look_ at me. I _like_ you, okay? Yeah, I know, I'm scared and bitchy and insane and sometimes I lie and you probably don't understand me a lot of the time, but I just _don't care_ anymore, okay? You make me crazy and violent and _stupid_ and it's not fair and you never look at me when I want you to and it's just- _you're so stupid_, Suigetsu, _god_!"

She stopped, and breathed through her nose angrily. God, he made her so_ angry_, so _fast_. It took all of her willpower to not just leave, right then and there. It wouldn't cost her anything to leave - except maybe That Trust Thing.

And That Trust Thing was a Big Thing for Karin.

She _wanted_ to trust him.

But if he couldn't figure _this_ out, what was the _point_?

* * *

He licked his bottom lip for the _n_th time. Wow, a habit, and a mechanism of sorts to use when he was flustered. By now his lip was so moist, it was as smooth as a baby's bottom. He looked at her cheekbone. Because looking at her in the eye was impossible.

Suigetsu wouldn't do it. He couldn't.

...He did.

He stared at her prettyprettypretty eyes. He always thought her eyes were pretty. He just never allowed himself to think it _clearly_. And just... He... His eyes wandered down to her lips and it was like a trance. The way he leaned forwards, smashing his lips to hers - it was like a trance. And the way she instantly kissed him back - it was like magic.

It was all Suigetsu could do but bring her absolutely closer to him - he didn't care if she was technically already on top of him. There was still space between them. His hand tangled on her stupid scarf and with a growl against her lips, he pulled at it, pulled, pulled until it came off. He threw it to the side.

But amidst it all, he didn't even _dare _break away from her lips. Because he missed this _that _much.

...'Coz he wanted her _that _bad.

* * *

No one had ever kissed Karin the way Suigetsu kissed her.

It was hot-like-fire and angry, and sometimes it was so sweet it almost killed her.

He already had her scarf off - smart boy; clothes were pointless. But something vaguely told her that she'd worn that scarf for a reason. Karin couldn't remember what it was. She figured it probably wasn't important, anyways.

Karin nails curled into his stupid shirt. It wasn't that she didn't not love the Stones, but, seriously. That shirt was _in the way_. She tugged at it impatiently - his skin was too far away, and Karin just couldn't stand for that. "Get rid of your goddamn shirt," she murmured against his mouth.

* * *

Suigetsu pulled away from her lips, his own - mildly swollen because, like, they were _sensitive_ - parted as he breathed in and out. He rolled his eyes and picked at the hem of his favorite shirt, sitting up so he could pull it up and over his head. But by sitting up, so did Karin and... Something caught his eyes and it made him freeze.

Freeze.

...He was frozen.

His amethyst eyes were glued on her neck, hands dropping the shirt as he continued to starestarestare. There was this boiling-hot-hot-hot anger rising within him, but he was hiding it. Hiding it because he was trying to refuse to believe this was real.

Suigetsu continued to stare at the purple marks on Karin's neck. And, god, he hoped... he _wished _they were hickies. From him. From another guy. It didn't matter - he just fuckin' wished they were hickies and not what he was already deciding what they were. And his anger only grew, but still Suigetsu remained calm on the outside.

He slapped a hand over her wrist when she tried to do... _something -_ he wasn't coherent enough, didn't care enough to know what she was aiming for. But he never broke his gaze way from her neck. Not even as he slowly raised his other hand and touched the first bruise. Then the second. The third... they were finger-marks. Bruises.

...Suigetsu saw red.

* * *

Karin blinked, vision a little hazy.

"Huh? Sui? Wha?"

And then his fingers were lining up along the bruises on her throat, and Karin gulped, even as she tried not to hiss in pain. Oh, _shit_, **_that_** was why she had had the scarf on.

He was deceptively calm. It was kinda scary.

* * *

Her words went through deaf ears. He'd never been so angry in his entire life - this was close in comparison to that time at the hospital, when the doctors informed him that his mother didn't make it; this anger was close enough to the anger that surged his veins as he blamed the doctors for not trying to save his mother. This... this was painfully close.

His fingers continued to ghost over every single bruise, his eyes unblinking. God, he was... What the fuck... Who the fuck... Why the fuck...

"Who did this to you?" he asked, calm. Soothing. Soft. It was beyond scary.

Karin did not answered... but rather gulped again.

And this did not make Suigetsu calm down. It made him want to curl his hands into fists and possibly kill the person that- Suddenly, his calm look was gone and Suigetsu's facial expression showed the pure and utterly unadulterated anger he was feeling. He turned his death glare towards her locking, her wine-red eyes with his.

"Tell me who did this to you, Karin," he hissed through his teeth. And then his eyes narrowed down to slits, "It was your dad."

* * *

Karin shook her head. "He was drunk, and he's stupid, and- Suigetsu, _please_ calm down, you're freaking me out."

Okay, what to do; let him beat her father within an inch of the man's life (it was scarily tempting), or figure out a way to cool him off (and keep him out of jail, and around. Definitely a plus).

CONUNDRUM.

But she didn't really want him to go anywhere, right then. She kept her arms wrapped around his waist, and let her body turn to dead-weight - she remembered that Sakura had said that was the worst thing anyone could do - it made it hard to to move the human body.

Thank you, Sakura's impromptu anatomy lessons.

She dropped her head onto his chest. "Just... chill, okay?"

* * *

"Get off me, Karin."

He just needed space. And air. That's all he needed. Space and air. Air and space. He was fuckin' pissed as fuck and all he needed was some fuckin' space and air. That was all. Beat the shit of her dad? He never even thought of that! Now it sounded so fuckin' tempting.

"Off. Get off, Karin."

Space.

Air.

Air.

Space.

Spaceairspaceair.

His breathing was shallow as he tried to will himself to calm down but... fuck. He was so fuckin' angry right now, it was taking all his will-power not to throw her off him and just... just... do the most stupidest shit he has done in three years. But it'd be fuckin' worth it.

It'd be damn fuckin' worth it. Because... Because... He growled.

SPACE AND FUCKIN' AIR.

* * *

Karin got off him.

Part of her wanted to scream at him. Part of her wanted to explain her father's behavior. And part of her -most of her, actually- was utterly bemused. She really didn't understand what he was freaking out about - it wasn't like she'd let her father get away with it (she'd broken the man's nose; felt the crack of bone and cartilage beneath her fist - Karin was not the type of girl to take being smacked around lightly. She'd called her mother, too, for the first time in a long time).

But she stood up, wrapped an arm around herself, and walked out of the room.

Fine, he wanted to be like that - she was going to go home. Make some hot chocolate, maybe, get cleaned up, call... _someone_, and proceed to get exceedingly, staggeringly, horribly, _sickeningly_ drunk.

Hopefully.

* * *

Suigetu breathed in, deep, slowly. And then breathed out, deep slowly.

He repeated the motion, even as he stood up and slowly walked towards his front porch. He leaned his right side against the pole and continued to breathe in, deep, slowly. Breathe out deep, slowly. And repeat.

Funny, how he was actually forgetting about his hot-boiling anger and forced his concentration on breathing, feeling the cool air against his hot skin. He had his eyes closed, his fingers drumming against the pole. His eyes only snapped open when he heard the footsteps coming on to the porch.

...She was leaving.

What. The. Fuck.

Without even knowing, out of pure reflexes, he grabbed her arm - not too tightly to cause her yet _another _bruise, but firmly enough to make her unable to pull away.

"Where are you going?" he asked softly, his eyes already glued onto her profile.

Well... Fuck.

* * *

Karin blinked at him, then down at her arm where his hand was fastened, and then back up at him. "Home? Where else? You clearly don't want me here."

His eyes flashed in something like possession.

"Don't be so fuckin' _stupid_, Karin," He stepped closer, "I just practically confessed to you - something I _never _do to _anyone._ What the fuck makes you think I don't want you here? I just needed to breathe. And... calm myself down... Because..." His hand reached back up to her bruised neck, "the last thing I want... is to... hurt you..."

* * *

What the fuck had he just done?

What the fuck had he just _said_?

He froze andandand how the hell did that leave his guard? How? What the hell had he done?

Suigetsu dropped his arm and shook his head. "Just... forget it."

* * *

Karin pursed her lips. Oh no. No forgetting. Karin had done enough forgetting to last her a goddamn lifetime. Karin put her hands on her hips -she probably looked exactly like her mother, jeez-, and _glared_ up at him.

He was so close, and his fingers were still against her throat. Probably a bad combination. Karin didn't care.

"No! I don't _understand_ you, Suigetsu! One minute, you're all over me, which is nice, and then the next, it's like you can't stand to breathe the same _air_ that I do, which is _not_ so nice! Could you please _explain_ this to me, because, in case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of scared, too!"

Her voice had been getting progressively more and more high-pitched. She bit the inside of her mouth to keep herself for screaming at him. "Do you think I _want_ to leave? I came because I wanted to see you, stupid!"

* * *

"Okay-okay-okay - _don't _yell at me. Not right now."

He closed his eyes and counted to five in his head.

"I have an anger problem. I do shit that I regret as soon as I'm finished doing it. I just needed to breathe and get some air. I didn't say I wanted you to leave because I don't - I fuckin' missed you, idiot!" He snapped his eyes open and met her glare with one of his own. He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked away, a childish pout on his lips. "I don't mind breathing the same air as you... I like it."

He turned back to her.

"I like a lot of things about you - you're random and weird and you don't really give a fuck about what people think of you. And you make me laugh." His eyes narrowed again, "But then you fuckin' yell at me all the time and it's annoying and having you pop into my head at random intervals gets me angry because, _fuck_, what have you done to me?"

He turned away again.

* * *

Karin stared at his back, open-mouthed.

Seriously, how did boy's brains _work_? THERE WAS _NO LOGIC_ IN THE WAY THEY THOUGHT. NONE. But that was... _he_ was... ridiculously sweet, and so, so, _so_ vulnerable, and Karin had to think _I know we won't work out in the long run, because I'm crazy and he's possessive and it's just- it's just-_

And Karin knew that. She _knew_ that.

And she didn't even care. It always came back to him - because, for christssake, it was the same for her. He'd pop up in her brain at points when she _didn't_ want him there; he'd be hiding in the corners of her mind when she thought about something that might make him smile, and _god_, it was stupid...

But she wrapped her arms around his torso from behind, anyways.

That Trust Thing? Yeah, it was ba-ack.

"Is this okay?" she asked; her voice was nothing more then a low, almost-sad whisper.

* * *

He sucked in air through his teeth, closing his eyes and trying really hard to... just _breathe_.

Okay, he was calm now. He was calm. Nothing bad - nothing was wrong. He was okay now and... she was... god, so very warm. He visibly relaxed and turned around in her arms, placing his hands on her shoulders. When was the last time he had a girlfriend? A solid one?

It had been around eighth grade, and even that one only lasted two weeks. Suigetsu had never been one for dating. Never. It just wasn't his thing; being tied down to one girl made him metaphorically choke. But... But... Karin was different. She just had to be.

Sighing, he lifted her chin up so she would look up at him and... bit the inside of his cheek. "Yeah," he finally murmured, "this is okay."

It was only natural that he kissed her after that. Slowly, and gently. Because Suigetsu knew how to be slow and gentle.

* * *

Karin smiled against his mouth. She hadn't even known it was possible for Suigetsu to kiss her without the usual violence - it was different, and a little bit nice...

But Karin still kind of liked the violence. It made more sense - their relationship was as dysfunctional as they came. She nipped his lip -more gently then usual, albeit-, and wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers curling in the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Good," she mumbled, words spilling from her lips like water from a fountain. "I was getting sick of missing you. You're dumb. Kiss me, please."

* * *

"Shut up," he muttered.

Okay. This was not good. Not good at all. Any more, and he might just end up doing things to her in the front porch. The neighbors? Bah, the neighbors could go ahead and suck it, and enjoy the free show... But instead, he latched either of his arms around her thighs and brought her up to his waist and stepped into the house, bumping and slamming himself against the walls as he tried to close the front door with his foot.

"How about you stop being impatient and wait your ass up," he growled, loosing his concentration and totally giving up on getting them to at _least _the living room. He slid down to the floor with her on his lap and almost automatically smashed his lips to hers.

* * *

"I _like_ being impatient. Take your shirt off," she practically ordered, still twined around him.

They hit the floor (_you are going to have rug burns and it will **hurt**, stupid,_ a little voice muttered, annoyed), but Karin was far past caring. She didn't care about anything, as long as Suigetsu stayed so close, she didn't know where she ended and he began. As long as he was there, closer-then-close, closer then her own skin, she'd be fine.

His breath ghosted over her still-slightly-bruised throat. Karin shivered, and tilted her head back.

Why was he being so ridiculously _gentle_?

"You're not gonna hurt me, stupid," she told him quietly, her voice almost shaking with repressed want (_I don't **need** you. I don't, I don't, I don't. I **don't**. I want you. It's different. And I even like you, a little, so please kiss me already, okay? I don't like missing you. It's disturbing, and it's not fair, and-_).

* * *

Suigetsu growled into the kiss and yanked her shirt up her torso.

"You don't know that," he rasped out.

His shirt went off, her skirt was hiked up. It was when she began to unbuckle his jeans and pull them down that he saw more bruises on the left side of her ribs... up and up to her collarbone. He bit his lip and ignored the stirring in his stomach - he already got pissed once, getting pissed again was almost _assuring _disaster.

So instead, all he did was bury his face on the crook of her neck and unstrap her bra.

* * *

.

.

.

The room was quiet.

Karin's limbs felt - damn, felt like lead. She could barely move - not that she really wanted to. She was kinda sleepy, and she was curled up underneath a worn-out blanket, and on top of Suigetsu's body. She was only wearing his t-shirt -and it was huge on her-, and somehow, he had found his pants. Stupid pants.

But it was the most comfortable she had been in a long time; why on _earth_ would she want to move? He was warm, she was content... No reason to move, at all. Laying there, on the floor, cheek pressed against his chest, listening to his heart beat; it was one of the most notably _right_ things she had ever done.

Her hair was really messy. That was the bad thing about having curls - they got messy so easily. Suigetsu had his fingers tangled in the bright red mass.

"Sex hair," he said; Karin could hear the smirk in his voice. She rolled her eyes.

Pfft, it was worth it.

"What you were saying earlier..." Karin murmured sleepily, "You were wrong. You're too stupid to hurt me. And you like me too much."

The low chuckle that made its way out of his throat rumbled through her chest. "Sure I do, Toots."

Karin didn't even have the fight left in her to get riled up over that horrible nickname. "You do," she insisted, a little sleepily. "You like me too much."

She _felt_ him roll his eyes. Whatever, it was true. He liked her too much to ever intentionally hurt her - and that meant a lot. Karin looked up at the ceiling - and thought about all the times she had tried to tell herself that _this would be the last time, it would_.

"Every time's the last time..." she murmured to no one in particular, and cuddled back into his body.

* * *

Blinking, Suigetsu looked down at the girl in his arms.

"...What?"

She didn't reply and Suigetsu was about to literally shake her, when his cellphone started vibrating from within his pockets. Bah, he hadn't even remembered his phone was in there; he rolled his eyes and stuffed his hand into his left pocket, fishing out the device. Rolling his eyes and finding it pointless to check the caller ID, he clicked the 'talk' button and placed the phone near his ear.

"What?"

_"Dude, where the hell are you?" _It was Kiba.

"At my house, idiot, where else. What is it?" He shifted around and continued to twirl Karin's hair around his finger.

_"Get your ass over here. Kushina's invited all of us over for dinner."_

He sighed and let go of Karin's hair and ran the hand through his own locks, "I'm not hungry."

_"...Do **you** want Kushina on your ass?"_

"No..." Suigetsu thought about it and groaned, "Just tell her I have company and... Uh... Yeah."

_"Whoever it is, just bring them along. You know Kushina. "The more the merrier" is her favourite catch phrase."_

Suigetsu sat up and thought about Kushina's reaction upon seeing him arrive with Karin. She would probably squeal andandand... Just... No. Just. No. "Dude, back the fuck up. I am _not _bringing her to Kushina's place, man."

_"Don't be a coward. It won't kill you, douche."_

Growling, Suigetsu sat up completely and glared at the wall. "I am _not_ a coward, you fuckin' douche. I'll be there, now back off."

At Kiba's next words, Suigetsu could practically _hear _and _feel _the smirk. It made him growl. _"Good. I know you hate to disappoint Kushina. Or at least, that's what I'm telling her. Be here in half an hour. Later."  
_

Before Suigetsu could have the last word, Kiba hung up.

He sighed and threw the phone aside and then shook Karin awake. "Wake up, we're going somewhere."

* * *

"Hm?" Karin mumbled, and rubbed her left eye. She was sleepy. Sleepy, and hungry. "I don' wanna go 'nywhere u'less they have food," she told him, a bit childishly.

But it was true. She was warm, and comfortable, and nothing short of _really good food_ was going to make her move - and _that_ was only because her stomach had just grumbled in annoyance at _still_ being empty, apparently.

"Yeah, there'll be food," he said.

"Mmkay," Karin told him, and stretched as she got up. She blinked around, and asked the very rhetorical "Huh, where did my skirt go...?"

She caught Suigetsu looking at her. "What?" She asked.

"I need my shirt." He just stared at her, waiting for her to pull it off.

Karin stared straight back. "Can't I wear it? It's comfy."

His eye twitched. Karin got an immense sense of gratification out of that tiny action - she _really_ liked making him mad. It was so... _satisfying_. He replied "It's my favourite shirt."

"That's nice. I'm still gonna wear it."

Then she turned around, and went on a hunt to find her bra and/or the rest of her clothes.

* * *

He just sighed deeply and decided this was what he got for keeping her around. But, he countered, it was... kinda worth it. But it was one of those "don't let anyone know" kind of things.

Suigetsu walked back into his room and pulled out a white v-neck t-shirt and pulled it on, pulling some black vans on as well. He ran a hand through his hair and fixed it around so it wasn't that obvious that he just got laid. Knowing the idiots that were at Naruto's house, they were going to talk smack.

Once he was satisfied he blinked at the realization that Karin was still not ready.

Oh, god.

"Would you hurry up, woman?"

Karin stuck her head out from the bathroom, an eyebrow raised. "Are you trying to tell me what to do?"

"I was asking a _question."_

He shifted his weight from one leg to the other and scratched his right cheek. God, this woman was so defensive - everything he said was something bad. Honestly!

"Oh. Well then, as for an answer. Forty-two. Suck it."

Suigetsu snorted, "Hurry the hell up."

And then he stalked off to the front door.

* * *

Karin took her sweet time about getting ready, in the bathroom. If he left, meh, whatever, she'd find some food left in his kitchen.

But she knew he wouldn't.

Finally (three minutes, eight seconds later), she got up, and stared at herself - yeah, okay, there was the sex hair. But there was also a stolen boy shirt, a ruffled white-and-yellow skirt, her red glasses, her teal painted nails, and a ratty pair of knee-high black slouch boots.

Huh, not bad.

She tossed her hair back, and left the bathroom - flicked the light closed, and, grabbed her pretty red leather jacket -she'd brought two; one red, and one black- on the way out.

And, as predicted, he was sitting in his Corvette, looking bothered. Karin just laughed, and slipped into the passenger side. She grinned at him, and said "Let's get going, Mr. Predictable. I want to meet these friends of yours properly."

* * *

It was all he could do but snort as he put the car in reverse (the car had been warming up while she got ready) and then in drive once he was on the road. He remained quiet as he came to the first stop-sign, turning the right signal-light-thing on and then making said right turn.

He yawned and with one hand took out his iPod out of the glove compartment (red-light, red-light, red-light) and plugged it in. With a smirk, Suigetsu put on his most favorite song in the history of his favorite songs.

Karin and her annoying 90's boy bands could go ahead and suck it.

_(I see a red door and I want it painted black  
No colors anymore I want them to turn black  
I see the girls walk by, dressed in their summer clothes  
I have to turn my head, until my darkness goes)_

There was a content smirk on his lips as he did another turn, sped up a bit down the empty street, another turn- He wasn't expecting to hear Karin singing along with the lyrics. Blinking, he turned to look at her before returning his attention to the road.

_(-With flowers, and my love  
Both never to come back  
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away  
Like a new born baby, it just happens everyday)_

Suigetsu couldn't help but smirk. This girl... Ha.

It wasn't long before they arrived to Naruto's place; already Suigetsu could see Sasuke's car, as well as Neji's and Kiba's and, of course, Naruto's. Sighing, he turned the ignition off once he parked in back of Sasuke's precious Camaro.

"Well... c'mon," he stepped out of the car, stuffing his hands in his pockets and waiting for Karin to get out of the car before walking, the two side-by-side, up the walkway and to the front porch. There was a bored expression on his face when he rang the doorbell, leaning his left side on the wall right after.

Minutes later the door was opened and Naruto and his goofy grin was what greeted them. Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

"Dead Last."

"Oi, Sharkbait, it's about fuckin' time you got here - there's this round of Rockband and Guitar Hero about to happen right after dinner and-" Naruto trailed off when he caught sight of Karin. But his grin was back in place a second later, "Oh, hi!"

Naruto was promptly shoved aside by Suigetsu's hand on his face. "Step aside, idiot."

"OI, YOU BASTARD!"

Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

* * *

Karin smiled like all the world was a stage. Really, they were ridiculous.

And they were all so _pretty_.

Seriously, what the fuck. Real boys weren't as attractive as that.

Jeez, it was _so_ unfair.

Naruto's house was different from how Karin remembered - still neat-freak clean, but it seemed to be _bubbling_ with energy. She really had to wonder why that was, but she just followed Suigetsu, straight into the kitchen.

And Karin realized why the house seemed so alive, then; Naruto's mother was home. Karin could only see her back - long, long, _long_ red hair, tiny stature, and she was... _humming_. The woman clearly had a bubbly nature.

Suigetsu cleared his throat. The woman whipped around, and, smiling, pretty much threw herself on Karin, faster then a bullet, no holds barred. "Oh my _goodness_, you must be the extra guest! It's _lovely_ to meet you, I'm Kushina! And you are...?"

Karin took it in stride - she was best friends with _Ino_; anticipating getting glomped out of nowhere was pretty much second nature. She hugged Kushina back, and told her "I'm Karin! I'm, uhm, a friend of Suigetsu's?"

Kushina just gave her A Look, and Karin grinned guiltily. Okay, obviously, the woman was intelligent - Karin liked her already.

"Need some help with supper?" Karin asked cheerfully, and Kushina looked ecstatic. "I'd love some! Sui-kun, the boys are in the family room...?"

* * *

Suigetsu darted his amethyst eyes from Kushina to Karin, back and forth before he gave a curt nod. "Okay, thanks."

He turned and dragged his feet towards the family room, a bored expression on his face just as soon as he stepped inside. He caught sight of the guys; Sasuke was on the armchair, slouched and a boredly-interested look on his face. Kiba was on the love-seat, sprawled and pumping a fist up when something amazing happened on the TV. Neji was on the other couch, watching intensely while Naruto stood, knees bent and blue eyes concentrating on the screen.

Oh, fuck, the football game was on!

His speed picked up as he came to stand in between Neji's couch and Sasuke's armchair. "Who's winning?"

"Suna," Sasuke muttered, his eyes never breaking away from the screen.

Konoha versus Suna.

Oh, this was _intense_.

It was quiet, the five boys concentrating in watching how the man in the black and green uniform ran and dodged and ran and dodged and - "OH MY FUCKIN' GOD, HE'S GONNA MAKE IT, HE'S GONNA MAKE IT, HE'S - FUCK!"

...The player didn't make it.

"Dude, what the fuck," Suigetsu growled, "How the fuck could someone puny like Baki bring someone like Juugo down?"

Sasuke shook his head, "It's the fuckin' bulk - his fuckin' body mass slows him down."

There were five sighs as the commercials came on.

* * *

Kiba grinned. Okay, commercials. That meant it was time to needle Suigetsu.

Seriously, what _else_ were friends for?

"Suigetsu, dude, she's _wearing your shirt_."

And there was nothing else in the world like hitting where it would hurt - that was Suigetsu's favourite shirt. Kiba had never seen Suigetsu allow another person to wear it, _ever_. There was something going on there, other then just sex.

After all, Suigetsu had actually _brought her along_.

* * *

Suigetsu turned his glare towards Naruto who was grinning at him innocently.

"You little gossip-whore, what are you, a girl?"

"Hey, I resent that - they just asked who you brought in and I answered!" Naruto pouted and leaned his left thigh against Kiba's couch.

Suigetsu's eyes narrowed. "And this information had to go along with the fact that's she's wearing my shirt."

"I think," Sasuke cut in with a grand smirk on his lips, "The terms we've come to an agreement with is... You, Sharkbait, are _whipped_."

"Pretty much," Neji muttered with a small half-smirk on is own lips.

Suigetsu glared, "I'm not whipped or whatever. I just didn't want to argue-"

"WHIIIIIIPED."

"-And I was hungry and... Shut the fuck up, it's not _like _that."

"Dude," Naruto said in between his new found laughter, "stop _lying_, you want to huuuug her. You want to kiiiiiss her. You want to protect her from the baaaad guys."

...The room went quiet after that as the four other teens turned to stare at the sole blond with looks that clearly asked: what the fuck are you on, and can you pass some of that over here? Naruto had the decency to shrug, "What, it just came out that way."

"You're so fuckin' lame," Sasuke muttered.

"HEY, TEME."

"Dobe."

"So," Kiba howled above the argument, "back to the fact that she's _wearing _your shirt. When's the wedding?"

There was laughter, snickers and chuckles.

Suigetsu only glared, "Depends, when's yours?"

* * *

Kiba sat back with a laugh, and raised his hands in a 'who, me?' sort of gesture. "Hey, I never said I wasn't whipped. But this is _you_. And if I remember right, you said you'd never 'fall in sissy, pansy-ass love like those _fags_,' so shut the fuck up, man."

Suigetsu looked peeved. Kiba just grinned like a fool.

Neji raised an eyebrow, and, looking bored, said "The Mutt is correct. You _did_ indicate a sense of contempt for those who would fall in love."

Kiba just gave Neji a grave nod, and a high-five. He heard Suigetsu grumbling.

Ah, yes, this was just _payback_...

* * *

If anything, Suigetsu wanted to strangle them all right about now. He growled and looked away and decided that, you know what, he hated his stupid friends.

"You're all a bunch of bitches," he muttered indignantly, "_bitches_."

"Shhhhh," Naruto hushed loudly while waving his arms in the air, "the game's back on - it's back on so shut the fuck up!"

He was promptly thwacked with a throw-pillow, courtesy of Sasuke. "You're the one being loud as fuck. Back the fuck off and watch the fuckin' game."

"BOYS."

...None of the five teens liked what was about to come.

"DINNER'S READY."

...Damn.

* * *

Karin had set the table, and had helped Kushina around the kitchen - she genuinely _liked_ the older woman. Seriously, Kushina had looked her up and down, had tossed her a hair tie, and had said "Hair in pizza is icky."

Karin summarily decided that Kushina was seriously going to be her new best friend.

She was sitting at the table, red hair piled messily on top of her head, waiting for the boys to file in. And they did - the dog boy Ino was dating, Hinata's pretty boyfriend (Hinata _still_ hadn't forgiven her for leaving... huh, Karin ought to work on That Forgiveness Thing), the guy that they were hooking Sakura up with, Tenten's slave, and Suigetsu.

She shot Suigetsu a sultry grin, just as Naruto sat down next to her, and smiled as wide as the whole sky.

Oh, pretty, it was really no wonder Hinata swooned every time he entered a room.

"Well, hello there," Karin said.

* * *

Naruto checked the girl out - contrary to popular belief, he did, in fact, know how to be slick.

But anyway.

She was hot; red hair, nice skin tone, she had nice boobs and as she sat there, he noticed nice legs. Her eyes were these dark red and her glasses were stylish in a pretty secretary-librarian way. She was _hot_.

No wonder someone like Suigetsu got whipped.

"Hey," he said with his smile still in place. "So," he leaned towards her a bit, "How you doin'?"

* * *

Karin smirk-smiled - she could _feel_ the waves of tension rolling off Suigetsu's shoulders, even with her back turned towards him. And, really, she couldn't help it; she was _wired_ to flirt. Hinata was her friend, and Karin had a feeling that this was the reverse-side of something that had happened previously - Naruto didn't seem like the type to cheat.

And besides. It was making Suigetsu mad. That was always a plus.

It wasn't like she was trying to make him jealous, or anything.

Really. Seriously. What would make you think that? Pffft. Karin wasn't like that - she was a _good_ girl.

So Karin leaned her head against her hand, and just smiled at Naruto. "I'm good, sweetie. You?"

* * *

At the unmistakable aura from behind him, Naruto's grin only widened.

Oh, how he loved payback. Seriously. He so did not forget the way Suigetsu had teased him by creeping on Hinata some weeks ago. This? Yeah, this was fuckin' payback for that. He chuckled and nodded his head, swatting some of his blond hair out of his eyes.

"I'm fine, now. I mean, I have a pretty girl in my presence..." at this his grin turned into a smirk.

* * *

From the entrance to the dinning room, Suigetsu was practically livid. He glared arrows, knives, swords, bullets, anything at the back of Naruto's head; but the blond either didn't feel it or ignored it and continued on to talk-flirt with Karin.

Suigetsu was then pushed inside.

"Hurry it up," Sasuke muttered, "Your jealous side is really stupid."

"I'm _not_ jealous."

"Right."

"I'm not."

"Okay."

Suigetsu growled and stalked towards his seat.

* * *

Karin just grinned. Seriously. That was all she could do.

Suigetsu sat down on her right side -Naruto was on her left-; and it took all of Karin's self-restraint to keep from moving her chair closer to Naruto, _just_ to tick Suigetsu off _that_ much more. She could see that sparkle of _vengeance_ in Naruto's eyes, and Karin knew -she just _knew_- that she'd been right.

This was in honour of Hinata.

Really.

Seriously!

Karin mentally told the pointing fingers in her head to go eff themselves, and turned her attention back to Naruto.

"Pretty? Please, I'm way more then just _pretty_," Karin told Naruto frankly, even as she curled a loose strand of hair around her finger - ugh, that made her feel like a valley girl, but it was probably going to be worth it, in the long run.

* * *

"Of course you're more than pretty," Naruto answered back with his playful smirk still on his lips. His blue eyes darted from Karin to Suigetsu before resting them back on the redhead. "You're _gorgeous_."

He felt Suigetsu's hot glare on his skin, but Naruto just found it quite hilarious. Wasn't it Suigetsu himself the one that claimed he and Karin were nothing like _that_? Quite a contradiction, Naruto decided as he turned his smirk towards Suigetsu's glare, Sasuke's impassive-yet-amused-stare, Neji's blank-yet-barely-there-smirk and Kiba's all out grin.

Yeahhhh.

This was fuckin' fun.

"Gorgeous indeed," he murmured to Karin.

* * *

Kiba sat back, and watched the exchange.

Where the hell was some popcorn? That's what he really needed - this was better then primetime; it was almost better then _football_. If that was even possible.

And then Kushina set down a huge-ass pizza, and Kiba suddenly realized why Kushina was such a great mom - she _always_ knew what someone needed. She grinned Naruto's grin at him, and jerked her head a little. Kiba nodded back, and he got the message; Kushina was going to force him to interpret what was going on, later.

But Kiba wasn't all that sure; sure, he knew Naruto had been bitching about something Suigetsu had done, and had been even more protective of Neji's quiet little cousin (hadn't really endeared either Suigetsu _or_ Naruto to Neji, for that matter), since said incident.

Kiba really didn't care.

But it was just _so bloody funny_ to watch his best friend get slowly redder and redder, like a boiling pot of water.

So Kiba just sat back, and started munching on a piece of pepperoni pizza. Tonight was going to be a good night.

* * *

Sasuke leaned his chin on his left palm, dark eyes glued on Suigetsu, a smirk on his lips as he watched the fair-haired teen grow angrier and angrier by the second.

In all seriousness, this was fuckin' hilarious - amusing as hell. He'd laugh, if laughing was his thing to do. But it wasn't so he refrained and instead settled for grinning a grin that was almost close to rivaling that of his best friend. Speaking of his best friend...

He turned his eyes to watch Naruto in action; he had that grin that they all knew made the girls swoon, his bright blue eyes brighter than ever. The blond's head was slightly tilted to the side as he continued to talk to Karin, his way of getting revenge on Suigetsu. He'd found out by Naruto himself that Suigetsu had poked some fun by mildly-but-not-really flirting with Fairy-Girl and Naruto, being possessive as he was, which was kinda weird, did not like it.

Sasuke decided that he had taught Naruto well.

He shook his head, chuckling as his keen hearing caught Suigetsu growling.

He grabbed a slice of pizza and decided that this? This was fuckin' priceless.

* * *

Neji decided that this was rather amusing yet stupid all in one.

It was blatantly obvious the girl was trying to make him jealous, and judging by the way Suigetsu was reacting, it was working like a charm.

Shaking his head, he reached for a slice of pizza and decided that this was utterly dumb. Stupid.

Women, tch.

* * *

Karin almost wanted to sigh - okay, this probably wasn't being fair to Suigetsu, at all. But it was just - just so _hard_ to be - she didn't even know the word she was looking for. Good, maybe? But it wasn't even that. Maybe it was that she didn't know -had no idea, really- how to deal with jealous boyfriends, maybe, was a better description.

But - still.

He really ought to know better.

Karin let her right hand slip under the table, and carefully set in on his lap. This whole situation would be irrelevant in less then four hours, so what was the point in even making him mad?

She felt a wave of possessiveness roll over her. Her nails contracted against his thigh. _Mine_.

* * *

Suigetsu's jaw was clenched to the point where it was supposed to hurt. His lips pressed together in a thin line.

His eyes were glaring at the wall in back of Sasuke and Kiba, his breathing almostalmost erratic as he tried to concentrate in counting to five. Or ten. Or twenty. Or, fuck, a hundred. But god, he was so angry right now. Damn her and her fuckin' necessity to get him pissed. She knew how to do it, and when she did, she did it well.

His fists clenched into tight balls, and ignored his stomach rumbling when the scent of pizza came to his nose.

You know what?

He ignored the hand she just placed on his thigh, and ignored the nails scrapping said thigh as her sign of saying he was hers.

His glare, his clenched fist-clenched jaw and his anger did not waver.

* * *

Ohhhh, that _jerk_. Karin did _not_ like being ignored - hadn't they been over this (it had ended in sex - just like it _always_ ended in sex. Right. Right)?

Being ignored was _not_ the way to go, with Karin. Usually, the only way to go was to _fight back_. And, well, if Suigetsu didn't want to do that, she was just going to have to _make_ him fight back. And that ought not be _too_ hard, right?

So Karin began to run her nails along the inside of his thigh. She _felt_ his sharp intake of breath, and smirked to herself, even as she chattered animatedly with Naruto.

Sure, it was fighting dirty.

Pfft, whatever.

* * *

Oh, that stupid vixen.

She wanted to go like that? Flirt with Naruto and still try to... do whatever it is she was doing to him? Suigetsu was not biting on that line. He licked his bottom lip and pushed his seat away from the table, standing up and muttering an "Excuse me".

He stiffly walked out of the dining room and stepped out to the porch where he went back to counting to five or ten or a hundred and with closed eyes relished in the cool breeze as it teased his hot skin.

God, did he hate her.

* * *

Karin knew that he was probably pretty pissed at her.

Pfft, what-_ever_.

(Of course, she knew she was lying to herself, and that this was probably going to be one of those things that the girls never let her live down, but... she was just _Karin_. She didn't know _how_ to be anything _else_.

That didn't mean she felt any less guilty, tho'.)

Naruto offered her a piece of pizza, and she took it with a small grin. Christ, she was practically the definition of 'Liar's Hole'. Karin felt a little bit disgusted with herself, but she managed to keep it hidden.

Please, like she hadn't had practice? Give the girl some credit. So Karin lifted her head, made conversation, smiled pretty, and pretended she didn't feel like jumping into a lake and drowning herself, or something.

She just hoped Suigetsu didn't see it.

* * *

By now, he was staring at the stars, hand inside his pockets as he decided that his anger was dwindling.

He hated how she affected him so much - hated how she made it a hobby of hers to piss him off so much. And he hated how he actually deserved it for all the hearts he had broken from high school freshman year to the present day.

This was karma, wasn't it?

Well, karma can suck it.

Snorting, Suigetsu turned around and headed back inside and into the dinning room. He was cool, calm and collected again. He played his own card, though; he ignored Karin. he knew she hated it and for that, he did it. He grabbed a slice of pizza and took a bite, making it a point of his own to not even spare her a glance.

She was annoying.

He just hoped it wasn't obvious how much he wanted to see if her seat was any closer to Naruto's than it was before he left.

* * *

Suigetsu sat back down, on her right again. He looked annoyingly calm and cool and collected - all the things that Karin hated _most_ in guys. It just made her - made her want to _scream_. And throw things. And do something -_anything_- that _wasn't_ her parents. Calm and cool and collected - no, Karin didn't like calm and cool and collected.

But pissing him off more wasn't really what she wanted to do, just then. She shot him a glance out of the corner of her eye.

He _looked_ okay.

But Karin had a gut feeling that he really, really wasn't, and that she ought not to push it for the rest of the night. She munched on her pizza thoughtfully. It really was good pizza.

She tucked a strand of hair out of her eyes, and made a snarky comment at Sasuke (something along the lines of "Oh, you're _sooooo_ tough, Mr. Dark-Scary-Doom-and-Gloom"). Life was... not so bad, right then.

Karin smiled, and kept munching on the pizza.

* * *

After dinner, and Suigetsu offering to help Kushina wash the dishes, Kiba, Sasuke, Naruto, Neji, Karin and Naruto himself found themselves in Naruto's room getting ready for the first round of Guitar Hero.

The first battle?

Sasuke and Kiba.

Suigetsu decided this was going to be fuckin' hilarious. He smirked, from his perch on Naruto's bed, and continuously ignored Karin who happened to be sitting a few inches away from him. Because, really, he was feeling better and the last thing he needed was for them to start arguing in front of the guys.

So instead he concentrated on the game.

And tried to not sneak peaks at her.

Seriously.

* * *

The room was a dull roar of noise - six people, a surround sound system that would have any techie drooling, and some really good music; it was just _loud_. And so Karin figured that no one would be able to hear her movement, or anything she said at all, really. She moved just enough that Suigetsu was a hairsbreadth away from her, and her mouth was at his ear.

"Sorry," she mumbled. And, yeah, okay, she was sorry.

Nothing major, right?

It was just an apology. It didn't mean anything.

And besides. She'd caught him looking at her.

* * *

His grin was wiped off his face as he heard her apology and it was pure reflexes how he turned to look at her with a blank look and a speck of curiousness in his ice-purple eyes. He studied her, watched the sullen look, mixed with... something else.

But he nodded. Slowly at first before it became solid.

"Okay," he muttered back and turned to his attention back to Kiba and Sasuke... because when those two were up against each other it was all bad.

And just to prove that all was well, he reached a hand towards her hair and twirled a lock. Something that, since they went to visit his mother, had become like a favorite pass-time of his.

He smirked.

* * *

Karin leaned into Suigetsu's side; when she felt him curl his fingers into her hair -sex hair, goddamn-, she knew it would be perfectly fine.

Of course, she rolled her eyes at that smirk, but she didn't do anything to wipe it off his face. It wouldn't hurt to let him have the upper hand, for once; if anything, the poor, abused boy really sort of deserved the chance to have _something_ like control.

So she crawled in between his legs, curled into the crook of his body, and rested her head back against his chest. This was good, Karin thought. This was very good. Allowed.

"Don't move, you're comfy," she mumbled, and went three-quarters of the way asleep. She would have dropped off entirely, but the noise, and the flashing lights from the TV kept her the barest minimum of 'awake'.

This was nice. Yeah, really, really nice. Karin yawned, and then closed her eyes, to finally get some rest.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**sonya**: smile & wave because love is prettier than the sun. :)  
**les**: BIRD IS THE WORD. also, i love my boys. i love 'em so much. bahaha.  
**Saraa**: glitter and air kisses to those who review! But not Logan Lerman, he's mine. BACK OFF.


	25. how to be fiona to someone else's scotty

blah. hello, rain clouds, how have you been? (WHERE IS MY SUMMER, DAMN IT?) srsly, ladies and gents of the chorus: this much rain is overrated.  
**disclaimer**: you're funny.  
**dedication**: to. uhm. strawberries and sugar. and exam break. and UHM SUNSHINE. also to sewing wigs at hours of the night that actualling kind of ought to be illegal. and also to REAL LIFE SQUEALING OVER THINGS LIKE SONY'AS NEW POSSIBLE BOYFRIENDS :D (sonya please don't kill me...)

**and yet another rant from us **(that means les): if you become a fan of our writing and you click for our individual accounts - DON'T FUCKING STALK US. IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING AND IT MAKES US WANT TO BREAK THINGS OVER YOUR HEAD. stalking is this: clicking our accounts, going through every. single. thing we've written and FAVING AND ALERTING. it's fucking annoying, you become a victim of our shit-talking and did we mention it's annoying? and it just proves how brainless you all are - alerting a story that has been done for over a year? really? drop a review from time to time; it's not required, we know, but think about it - a person writes and is nice enough to share that shit with you and all you do is fave? drop a fucking line. it doesn't take more than a minute and it actually makes you less of a stalker. and YES, people that HAVE been stalking xfucktheglasses shamelessly, i AM fucking referring to you.

prior to popular belief, we _don't _bite. we're really random and weird and flaily and we might express our undying love to you if you _try _to review and _try _to be cool with us. seriously.

now without further ado: LET THE READING BEGIN.

* * *

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.

.

* * *

Tenten stared at her opened closet-door, looking at the dark-light-colored skinnies along with all the different colored and styled t-shirts. Her lips pursed and she decided that she needed new clothing; not that she liked shopping - hell no. Which meant she couldn't go with none of the girls because they'd go crazy on her and that was the last thing she needed.

A name came to her head and she didn't really want to _go _there. It's been around a week since... _that _happened and Tenten has tried to steer clear of anything that had to do with Hyuuga Neji and it killed her inside because, like, _hello _she was _not _a coward.

Sighing, she dragged her feet towards her computer and booted it up; while it did that, she grew some imaginary balls and the tits to send the email.

Because, like, she was Tenten and that was how it was _supposed _to be.

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject: __asdfghjkl;  
_

...Hi.

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject: No Subject_

Hello.

-Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject: __give me a subject, jerk._

So... What'cha dooooooin'?

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject: How have you been?_

Currently, I am making progress on my Calculus thesis. I left Hokage's house an hour ago.

-Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject_: _i've been fine... you?_

CALCULUS SUCKS. COME HANG OUT WITH ME, INSTEAD.

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject: Adequate._

...I thought you were avoiding me.

-Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _...and that means...?_

Avoiding? What is this that you speak of?

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject: It means that I am adequate_.

It's that thing where you ignore me for days on end.

-Mastermind

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
_Subject_: _i still don't know what that means, sir._

I haven't been doing that... I've been busy... with... school work... I'm, like, fifteen credits short and I have to take classes on the computer _and _night classes.

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject: It means that I am fine_.

Ah.

-Mastermind.

* * *

To: 359degrees  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _look..._

Do you want to come shopping with me, or not?

Because I honestly can't read your mind and I don't know what's up with you.

-Machete

* * *

To: runwithskizzers  
From: 359degrees  
_Subject:_ ...

Fine.

I will come and pick you up.

-Mastermind.

* * *

A hot pool of lava appeared in Tenten's stomach, causing her to grow rather angry at nothing in particular.

She pulled a pair of light-washed skinnies over her boxers, tying on some neon-orange converses... And what the hell was up with Neji, anyway? _She _should be the one that's angry, not _him_. Seriously - _she _was the one that was kissed unexpectedly. Not him.

God, she hated life right now. She hated it soooooo much.

Tenten growled and pocketed Anko's credit card and slamming her room's door closed.

Might as well wait for him outside.

* * *

Neji was very calm. This was just Tenten.

Just Tenten.

Of course, he was studiously ignoring the fact that everything about her made his whole world-view do very skewy things.

He got in his car, and gunned the engine. He pulled out of the Hyuuga compound's somewhat communal driveway, and backed out. The drive wouldn't be long, he reasoned. Just enough time for him to gather his scattered thoughts, and to prepare himself for his imminent demise; shopping. It was late-ish; five-thirty in the evening, and he'd only barely escaped Naruto's home. So it wouldn't be too long.

(But it would be long enough to give him just enough time to prepare himself for dealing with _her_.)

* * *

When Neji double parked right in front of where she was standing, Tenten argued that the somersault her stomach made was because she had been in her own world and because she thought she was going to get run over. Nothing more, nothing less, nothing different.

Sucking on her lip piercing, she opened the passenger's seat and took her seat.

"...Hi."

"Good afternoon."

Tenten blinked and just shook her head as she put on her seatbelt. She couldn't even try to get herself to understand him. She sighed and slumped her shoulder, watching the cars go by as he drove towards the mall.

She couldn't even _look_ at him and she hated that. Because if she even _tried _to, all she'd get was that... insistent feeling on her lips. Tenten sighed once again and rolled her eyes.

* * *

Neji's whole body had gone stiff.

Okay.

So.

They had... had _relations_... and, yes, frankly, the scent of her hair (the scent of her skin, the scent of _her_) was probably permanently embedded into his mind. And right as soon as she'd gotten in, and closed the door, the whole car had become saturated with that same scent.

And it was very, very close to pushing Neji over the edge.

(Please. This is Neji we're talking about, ladies and gents. He didn't lose control. Not like that.)

So instead, he sat in the driver's seat, rigid and quiet, and drove towards the mall.

* * *

Tenten decided that she didn't want her hair to be all that high up in it's ponytail (SHE'S NOT SAILORMOON, DAMN IT.) and so set it loose. The wind coming in through her window caused the strands to fly everywhere and she was pretty much oblivious to the stiffness that was Neji.

She quickly tied it up into a low ponytail and fixed her blunt-cut bangs before deciding that she looked... passable. She sighed and cracked her knuckles as she looked around at the cars in the freeway. Had she been the type to notice, let alone _catch_, things that were underneath the underneath - or staring at her in the face - she'd be choking on the tension.

But she's Tenten and therefore she was Clueless with a capital C.

"...So..."

He looked completely uncomfortable and Tenten felt a vein pop on her forehead. But she remained silent and sucked on her piercing. In the inside, though, Tenten was raging and demanding to know what the hell was wrong with Neji because even though he was completely... well... stiff and awkward... THIS WAS DIFFERENT. AND TO THE MAX.

So instead of going off on him, she began to sing to herself, even as she slammed against the door as he did a turn towards the parking lot. "Lick it, lick it, lick it, lick it; I like to lick it, lick it, lick it, lick it, lick it."

And then she blew up.

"Alright, I can't _take _this anymore." She glared at the car parked right in front of them and then shifted her entire body so she was facing him. "What is _your problem_? You're so fucking confusing; you go all awkward and stiff and uncomfortable and _what the fuck_? I mean, really! Is it so hard to talk to me? Do I disgust you _that_ much?"

Quietly, and through gritted teeth he said, "How can you _think_ that-"

"No, SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME." She was so. Damn. Pissed. At him. At herself. AT WHATEVER THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM AND THEM ALTOGETHER. "What do you want, Hyuuga Neji. _What do you want_. Because, fuck, I'm _trying _to be your fucking friend and it seems like that's not enough or _what _you want. So tell me. What _do you want_. Is it-"

And then she placed her palms on either of his cheeks and pulled him closer before she smashed her lips against his.

* * *

Neji found himself with an armful of angry girl.

Now, there were two things that Neji could do, given current situation. One, he could push her away, grab his car keys, and book it the hell away. But that would kill his dignity and his manly ego. Or two, he could... he could... he could... kiss her back. That would also kill his dignity, but not his manly ego.

Well, the lesser of two evils...

Neji snaked his arms around her waist, and tapped her against his body.

Crazy girl.

* * *

The kiss was lasting longer than she intended it to be. But, then again, she wasn't expecting him to kiss her back. Which he was - and since when was Neji a good kisser? He'd never even been with anyone - she didn't count because, like, seriously - so... what? Totally inexplicable.

By the time she got the willpower to pull away from the kiss, his bottom lip in between her teeth, Tenten realized she was on his lap. And, she couldn't lie any longer, she was as much of a slut as Karin and when she saw a nice place/position to have sex... Tenten was.. She mentally shook her head and gave his lip one last suck (GODDAMN IT, THIS WAS NEJI).

"-That," she breathed out against his lips, completely out of breath, "is it that?"

He was just as breathless as she was as he murmured, "...Maybe."

And she laughed softly and she had this damn fucking urge to just continue to kiss him. But she didn't. She didn't - she just opened the driver's door and stepped outside and waited for him to do the same. She caught herself licking her lips and admiring the amazingness that was that kiss.

So instead she concentrated on what she needed to buy exactly.

Clothes... right.

* * *

Neji was between smirking like he'd just won the lottery, and pulling a Hinata, and just... dying.

(Of what, he wasn't sure; probably shock.)

But Tenten looked a little dazed, and a bubble of pride worked it's way up through Neji's chest.

This was _definitely_ worth ditching the Calculus thesis, for.

* * *

She tried to ignore him after that. Instead, she tried to concentrate in finding a shop that had... well... That had clothes she'd actually _want _to wear. Like, seriously, what is up with all these places only having short-shorts, micro-mini-skirts and hoochie tops? Where are the t-shirts? Where are the skinnies?

Tenten pursed her lips and pocketed her hands inside the back-pockets of her jeans. And then her eyes caught pink and black and an evil twinkle appeared in her eyes. She smirked and began to walk towards the store, turning to look at Neji over her shoulder, "Come along, Subordinate."

Neji's pale eyes went wide as he saw where she was leading him. "This is not happening, this is not happening this is not - where the _hell_ are you _g__oing_?"

She turned around to face him, already inside of Victoria's Secret. There was an evil grin on her lips as she grabbed a lacy bra (black, 34C) and placed it over her hoodie, "Do you think this'll look good on me?"

Neji choked and stared at the ceiling. His lips barely moved as he started to mumble "This is not happening, this is not happening, this is not happening..."

Tenten swallowed her evil laughter and gave a fake sigh, "Fine, I guess I'll just ask someone else."

"It looks _fine_," she heard him snarl through gritted teeth.

But, Tenten was evil and she was like a brunette version of Karin. And this was why she grabbed a more exotic bra and matching panties and went straight to the fitting room.

* * *

Neji hated everything.

Actually.

The lady at the counter was giving him a weird look, and while Neji didn't really blame her, the whole situation just _screamed_ "inappropriate".

_Why_ did Tenten have to be so damn... he didn't even know the word for it. Neji stood, stoic and painfully rigid, and waited for Tenten to get the hell out of the fitting room, so they could get the hell out of this goddamn store, and Neji could feel at least a _little_ more comfortable.

Neji bemoaned his existence.

* * *

Tenten tilted her head and stared at herself in the provided mirror. The bra she grabbed was black, lacy and it had _bows_. The panties were just as lacy and just as black and it tied together on either side of her hips. And it made her look... kinda hot. And curvy. And... Tenten grinned.

She opened the door and popped her head out and stared at the wall. But the door to get inside the fitting rooms was nonexistent and anyone waiting for anyone was bound to be able to hear when they were being called; and Tenten was just lucky enough that it was getting dark out and the mall was emptying out.

"Neji, come here," she called out.

She heard him choke and she couldn't help but roll her eyes at that. Tenten watched as he slowly made his way inside and she all but smirked when his eyes exposed how wary he was and how he was looking at the walls rather than where she stood.

When his eyes did happen to land on her, Tenten had already struck a sexy pose and was smirking at him. "D'you think I should buy this?"

* * *

Neji found himself fighting off a nosebleed.

_Christ_.

"Tenten..." he said, very slowly, carefully enunciating every syllable. "Please put some clothes on."

He watched her smirk turn into an all-out grin. She tilted her head at him, lip rig jutting out, lashes lowered, and murmured "That doesn't answer my question, Neji dearest."

And Neji didn't know what to say. (Obviously "Well. Shit," was the first that came to his mind, but he really had no idea how to vocalize that sentiment.) He surveyed her - up, down, up-down, up-down -, and gulped. Neji knew he was blushing and pulling at his collar and being generally awkward, but he just - couldn't help it. "You look... tolerable."

Tenten raised an eyebrow at him. Neji quietly despaired."Oh. So when I wear clothes, I look intolerable?"

"That is not what I meant," he muttered, and turned redder.

"What did you mean? That when you're looking at me you're imagining me in my bra and panties?"

Neji was flabbergasted.

Just.

He had no idea what to say.

He steeled himself, and said, fierce and iron-spined, "I am _not_ like that, Tenten. At _all_."

* * *

Inwardly, Tenten was enjoying the whole thing. How she always seemed to get Neji so hot and bothered. She shifted her weight to one leg and placed a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow. "Really? Because if I remember correctly, we fucked. At a golf course."

Next thing she knew, she was shoved inside the fitting room, sandwiched between the wall and Neji's body. "Do you," he asked lowly into her ear, "Remember correctly?"

Tenten scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Sort of."

"'Sort of'? Then what if you're _not _correct?"

She narrowed her eyes before she allowed another grin to come to her lips. "I was sober for half of it, Neji. _You _jumped _me_."

His breath on the sensitive skin of her neck and ear was making her want to shiver, but she fought it. Instead, she tried to concentrate as he said, "Did I? Really? Or are you just imagining things?"

Tenten stared up at the wall. But her attention was distracted by the loose strands of his hair that framed his face. She raised a hand and fingered them before she reached for the hair-tie that kept his hair in place and pulled it down until his hair was loose and out of any restraint.

"Don't be ridiculous," she said haughtily, "I jumped on you to make sure you wouldn't run off before I reached you... You kissed me - like, I hadn't even registered anything before; just..." She trailed off as she heard him growl; she supposed it was because she undid his hair... And then _those _thoughts were gone when she felt his fingertips ghosting over her skin.

"Are you sure?" She could _feel _his smirk and it made her want to smack him.

Tenten set her jaw and narrowed her eyes, "Positive."

* * *

"Really," Neji breathed, lips traveling carefully along her jaw.

He could feel strands of his freed hair curtaining around them both. His eye twitched. He _hated_ it when his hair was free. So _of course_ Tenten was going to let his hair down. He growled again, and carefully dragged his teeth across the bit of skin where her jaw met her throat.

Neji could feel her shiver, for a second, before she seemed to grab on to whatever was left of her nonexistent sanity, "Yeah, really." Then she smirked and pulled at his hair, "Why, do you think any different?"

"No," he told her, and trapped her wrists above her head, against the wall.

* * *

Tenten's eyes widen as the idea that she was trapped sunk into her brain. She pulled her head back and looked up at her wrists in his hold. She sucked on her lip piercing and turned to stare at him with a raised eyebrow. "My, my, my," she breathed out, "I'm liking this side of you, Neji. You should bring it out more often."

"You should be quiet, princess," he murmured against her jaw, "someone might hear you scream."

At this, Tenten went completely still. Since when was Neji such... Bah! Whatever; she liked this new Neji, seriously. Tenten gave a soft laugh, "Me? Screaming?" Her voice lowered as she murmured, "I don't think you're able to make me do that."

"You want to bet," he drawled.

Tenten smirked, "Bring it."

In a blink of an eye, Tenten's bare legs were wrapped around Neji's hips and her lips were distracted by the heated kiss.

* * *

.

.

.

Neji couldn't stop smirking.

At all.

His hair was a little ruffled, and his clothes were a little wrinkled, but Neji didn't even care (**_That's_**_ a first_, Kiba muttered on the inside of Neji's head). His arm was draped across Tenten's shoulders, protective, in the moment, _possessive_.

He handed the cashier his bank card, and continued to smirk.

* * *

Tenten had a lazy smirk on her lips as she watched the cashier ring her clothes up and give them this _look_. She didn't understand that look; the smile, the twinkling eyes that were saying "I know that feeling, honey, it's amazing, isn't it?"

It made Tenten want to sneer, but she restrained. Instead, she merely grabbed the pink and black bag and waited for the woman to hand Neji his card back. Once she did so, they moved towards the entrance of the store.

They were both quiet as they walked and Tenten felt rather lazy. Rolling her eyes, she gently slammed the bag to his stomach, "Carry my bag," she murmured.

She smirked when he just took it without a fight.

* * *

"Your voice," Neji murmured, "is scratchy, Tenten."

She scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. My voice is always scratchy."

Neji smirked some more, and dipped his head down to hover his lips over hers. He heard her breath catch, and he just smirked. "You were saying something about not screaming?"

"...No one was screaming. Don't be so ridiculous, Hyuuga," Tenten murmured.

"I _felt_ it, Tenten." Neji mentally added that she was damn lucky he'd managed to cover her lips all those times when she _had_ screamed. If the store manager had heard that sort of shrieking, they'd have been in trouble...

"...Felt what?"

They were at his car. Neji hadn't realized how annoying it could be, when someone played dumb. It didn't suit Tenten, he thought. Felt - well, that could be remedied. Neji grabbed her wrist, and slammed her against the car's side panels, mouth at her ear. "Forgot already, princess?"

* * *

"Forgot what," she asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at him only after she registered her current predicament.

She blinked at him and all she was able to catch before he crashed his lips to hers and raised her up off the ground again was: "_This_."

Tenten was positive she was going to have a bruise or two.

.

.

.

* * *

"You screamed," Neji said, with no small amount of thick-headed male pride. They were sitting in his car, even though Neji wasn't all that sure how that had happened. Mostly, he just remembered Tenten screaming a lot.

_Damn_ straight.

Tenten looked huffy. "I so did not."

And the smirk was back. "Who's going to know, princess?"

(Like he knew where _that_ nickname came from; turning things on Tenten was actually an infinite fountain of amusement.)

She still looked huffy. "Me."

"That's admitting you screamed."

"No such thing! And even if I _did_ scream, something must have been digging into my back; it certainly had nothing to do with you."

Neji gave her his signature smirk-blank look. "So I don't affect you at all?"

"Not at all."

She really shouldn't have said that.

"Really," Neji murmured, the picture of leisure. He grabbed her wrist, turned it palm-up, brought it to his mouth, but then just stared at her for a minute. She stared back at him, and Neji wondered if that was something like wariness in her eyes.

Huh.

And then he carefully dragged the tip of his tongue across the length of Tenten's hand, and up her her forearm to her elbow.

(He was going to get hit for this. Neji was pretty sure of it. But it would be worth it.)

* * *

Tenten's eyes went wide as she watched him run his tongue up her arm. She swallowed thickly and clenched her jaw, but she did nothing more. She just stayed watching him reach up to her shoulder now; but there was no visible reaction from her side.

Now he was running his tongue across her collarbone. Across, across, across until he began to run it up her throat. She fought the urge to roll her eyes back because something such as that was not done - _not done_. Instead she allowed herself to say, "Put that tongue away, sir."

But it was as if she was talking to herself because he did everything but listen. Actually, he ran his tongue up her chin now. Tenten was quick to think and allowed her own tongue to peek out until it was able to touch his.

Neji managed to chuckle and pull away; Tenten stared at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "Told you," she muttered.

"Sure, princess."

And then he drove her home.

* * *

Neji still actually couldn't stop smirking.

It was like it was plastered on his face.

But he didn't really mind.

He jerked the car into reverse (it was late, almost ten-thirty - fuck being safe), and pulled out of the parking lot. It was dark out, the sky blacker then charcoal, and Neji sat back in his seat, and let the cruise control do the work.

He glanced at Tenten.

Heh.

* * *

Tenten's eyes glittered as the song began to play. Honestly, this is why she liked riding in Neji's car - she got to listen to her iPod... _loud_. But anyway, back to the matter at hand: the song began to play and Tenten felt it was a dire need to sing... and play the air guitar.

"_Scottie doesn't know that Fiona and me do it in my van every Sunday. She tells him she's at church, but she doesn't go, still she's on her knees and Scottie doesn't know." _The only reason Tenten loved the movie _Euro-Trip _was because of this song. And that one character. But mostly the song.

"Did you know this song's my ring-tone," he asked Neji with a glint in her eyes.

Neji gave an indignant snort. "I wouldn't doubt it."

_((Fiona says she's out shopping, but she's under me and I'm not stopping.  
Coz Scottie doesn't know, Scottie doesn't know, Scottie doesn't know, Scottie doesn't know  
So don't tell Scottie; Scottie doesn't know))_

Tenten was dancing in her seat, managing to shake her backside in a way that only Karin should be able to... Or Ino... But, really. She was dancing because, like, she _loved _this song_. "I can't believe he's so trusting, while I'm right behind you, thrusting. Fiona's got him on the phone and she's trying not to moan. It's a three-way call and he knows nothing - nothing."_

She continued to mouth the song, hazel eyes staring at the streets as she bobbed her head. And then her most favorite part of the song came; she turned to Neji, "_It's so cool when you're on top._"

What she wasn't expecting was for him to give her that smirk and quote right back, "_The parking lot, why not?"_

Tenten gave him a look; wide eyed, mouth ajar with a hint of a disbelieving smile. And then she just smacked his arm playfully and shook her head, "Loser."

* * *

Neji shrugged, and kind-of-sort-of grinned.

(...Was this what Naruto felt like _all the time_? ... It was _disgusting_. That bastard better have kept his dirty paws off of Hinata...)

He turned the wheel, and pulled up in front of Tenten's house (Anko's ... god, he hated that crazy bitch).

He shot her a bland look.

"...See you tomorrow?"

* * *

Tenten was in the process of disconnecting her iPod when he said that; her eyes widened and she felt her cheeks burn (why that happened, she had no idea) and she made sure she kept her head down until her eyes went back to normal and her cheeks were cool again. And when that happened she looked up at him with a smirk.

"Duh, who _else _is going to drive me around?"

He stared at her and gave a strained chuckle. Tenten rolled her eyes and leaned forwards, a playful look on her face. She stopped just before her lips met his. "See ya."

And she got out the car and walked towards the front door. She didn't know what she was expecting, honestly; maybe Anko asleep or in one of those spells where she actually wanted to clean. Or, maybe she rented some movies and she was beginning to watch them.

What she got was something completely different.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD. MY EYES."

* * *

Neji had just gunned the engine, and was preparing to leave.

And then he heard a horrified shriek, and Tenten came running out of the house like a really pissed off deity was chasing her.

He blinked.

_Why_ did this seem like it was going to end badly?

* * *

Before anything else, she just yanked the door open and threw herself inside the car.

"OH MY GOD, THAT WAS THE MOST SCARRING SIGHT EVER. DOING IT IS ONE THING, BUT WATCHING MY MOTHER AND MY FUCKING TEACHER... OH MY GOD!"

"...What?"

Tenten was panting and running one of her hands through her hair while the other one patted her thigh. Honestly, she was not going to be able to walk into Kakashi's class ever again. It was the most horrible thing in the entire world and Tenten was going to die soon. She had seven days, she just knew it.

"Neji, I'm going to die."

He gave her a look that she could not even unravel. "...No you're not. What happened?"

She shook her head. "Anko... Kakashi... Naked... _Chocolate."_

It was quiet in the car for some time. All that was actually audible was Tenten's whimpering. Neji blinked and got out of his stupor, "...Where do you want to go?"

Tenten was quieter for a while before she just sighed and leaned back in her seat. "Take me to your house."

* * *

"...Hn," Neji grunted.

Really, he had no idea what Tenten was talking about, and frankly, he _really_ didn't want to know. It was probably something disturbing, knowing Anko. But Tenten didn't look very happy, and Neji had a vague idea that Hinata would probably be able to make her feel better - Hinata was good at things like that.

So he pulled away from Tenten's driveway, and headed home.

* * *

Sighing and shaking her head, Tenten decided to get comfortable. That included disposing of any knowledge about laws and shifting around so that her legs were propped against the door and her head was leaning on Neji's arm.

She felt him grow stiff and couldn't help but roll her eyes at the fact that he reverted back to his hermit shell. So she sighed and closed her eyes and just allowed him to drive them to his house; Hinata could probably cook her some food to make her feel better. Because, like, Hinata's food was amazing.

She wasn't sure how long she was like that, or if she actually fell asleep or something, but when she felt the car come to a complete stop, she automatically sat up and looked around. "It wasn't me!" And then she blinked and cleared her throat, "I mean... Yeah."

Neji just stared at her as if asking the ever popular 'what the fuck'.

Clearing her throat once again, she sat up and opened the door and got out of the car. Hinata would make her mental scarring all better.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Hinata blinked.

Why on earth was Tenten standing at her front door, at this time of night?

With _Neji_, of all people?

(What happened to them hating each other? Hinata smiled, a little, to herself - oh, yeah; they had slept together. She nearly fainted at the thought. Dear god.)

"...Want t-to come i-in?"

* * *

Tenten snorted, "Obviously, Hinata."

The smaller girl moved aside and allowed them both entrance to the house. Neji quickly excused himself and the two girls just watched as his rigid back disappeared through a hall. Tenten turned to Hinata and she grinned, "Hinata, I'm hungry."

"C-calm down, Tennie, th-there's cake in the oven. It'll be r-ready in ten minutes."

At that, Tenten's eyes widened and she quickly grabbed Hinata's small hands and led her towards the kitchen. "Oh, Hinata, thank god! I need some food to make me forget about the _awful_ image I have engraved on my head and it's so awful Hinata, I mean, seriously - _what_ is _she _doing here?"

Ino only waved at them.

* * *

Hinata shrugged.

"I-I'm not a-actually sure. She just, uhm, k-kind of... appeared?"

Ino just smiled and waved at Tenten like a maniac.

Tenten looked pained. "Make her go _away_!"

Hinata just stared at her blankly. "Do y-you really th-think I - I have that kind of p-power? _P-please_!"

"Fine! But if she starts to harass me I have the right to defend myself!"

Hinata sighed. Ino and Tenten. In the same room. With a cake between them.

...This was going to be a long night.

* * *

Ino wasn't all _that_ bad, if she did say so herself. Honestly, she was like the best damn thing that had ever happened to Tenten; so why the hell was the girl complaining? Not that it stopped Ino's grin from taking a firm grip of her lips.

And then something popped into her head; Neji just passed by - on his way to his room, no doubt - and Ino had been at Hinata's all day and he hadn't been there... A glimmer appeared in her bright blue eyes as a whole different kind of grin dominated her facial expression.

"So... Where were you and Neji at?"

Tenten looked absolutely outraged, "What?"

Ino wagged a finger at her, "Ah, ah, ah. Don't lieeee."

Tenten scoffed and turned away from her. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Do you _want _me to call Karin?"

"Pfft, it's not like I'm _scared _of Karin; do you know who I _am_?"

Ino rolled her eyes, "Oh please."

"Hintaaaaa, she's bugging me!"

* * *

Hinata's left eye twitched.

They had another ten minutes of bitching.

And then she was gonna snap.

But for the moment, Hinata was going to give them the benefit of a doubt. "Ino, s-stop bugging Tenten, it's a-annoying. Te-Tenten, don't insult Ino, it's r-rude."

* * *

"Aw c'mon, Hinata," Ino said with a million dollar grin, "Aren't you curious to know if Tenten's going to be your new cousin-in-law?"

Hinata rolled her moon-eyes. "N-Not really. It's n-none of my b-business what N-Neji-nii does."

"Does?" Tenten screeched, "_Does_? We don't do _anything_!"

Hinata turned to look at her friend, eyebrow raised. "I - I think he d-did _you_. Y-you have a hi-hickey."

Ino's eyes grew wide, "AHA. YOU DIRTY WHORE."

Tenten slapped her hands to her neck and sneered. "NO SUCH THING. I fell and hit my neck!"

Hinata stared at her with a deadpan look. "A-and finger m-marks on y-your wrists?"

"Yeah! I'm being haunted by the Boogy Man. It's the sad truth of my life." Tenten was beginning to realize that coming here was a very terrible idea.

Hinata studied her nails in that way she did when she knew someone was lying to her. "Tennie. We h-have been friends for _t-ten years_. Y-you have _always _b-been a ba-bad liar."

"I AM CALLING FOR A CONFERENCE!" Ino took out her phone and busied herself with sending the two missing links of their group messages.

"I HATE ALL OF YOU. Where is Hanabi? She's the only _true_ friend I have." Tenten stalked out of the kitchen and headed for the young girl's bedroom.

* * *

Hanabi was calmly lying on her bed, fiddling around with her Game Boy (it was a chunky old-school Game Boy Colour. Hanabi despised all new technological innovations.)

She also may or may not have been plotting Neji's imminent doom at her father's hand.

Why?

It was funny, to be honest.

There was a knock on the door, and Hanabi looked up to find her mentor (so there was a reason that Hiashi really didn't like Tenten; she'd befriended his oldest daughter, and then proceeded to corrupt his youngest) leaning against the doorframe.

"Hey, Tenten. What's up?"

* * *

Tenten took pride in her creation, really. She stared at the youngest Hyuuga and her heart inflated with love and adoration for the one person who was going to ruin lives once Tenten hit the bucket. See, if Tenten was one for crying, she'd be shedding tears of joy.

"Yo, Hanabi, how's it going?"

Hanabi stared at her the way Hinata usually did when she was assessing her current thoughts or whatever it's called. "You look annoyed."

"Ugh - your sister and the Pig were being little fuck-heads." She rolled her eyes and flopped down on the desk-chair... and then commenced in spinning around.

"Oh?" Hanabi reeled in closer, "What about?"

Tenten came to an abrupt stop and stared at her prodigy, "Nothing important."

"Tenten, your eye is twitching like Hinata's does when someone's ticked her off. Tell me."

"Bah! It's nothing" She waved the whole incident off, "So... have you made anyone's life miserable while I was away?"

"Who do you think I _am_?"

Tenten's eyes glittered with pride. "Oh, I love you child. Details."

* * *

Hanabi smirk-smiled.

"Well. There might be an unhappy surprise for Father and Neji in the morning... When they wash their hair..." Her voice trailed off, and she glanced at Tenten.

Her mentor's eyes were shining in unholy glee. Hanabi figured she'd done well.

"Jello," she said succinctly.

And then, there was also that thing with Konohamaru... But that was a secret.

* * *

"Oh, yes. Yes, I've taught you well. Remind me to high-jack Neji's car so I can take you out to feast for this accomplishment."

Tenten inspected her nails, the way Anko usually did; vaguely, she noticed she was picking up her new mother's habits. Which wasn't as bad as it sounded... though... An image of Tenten covered in chocolate while being licked clean by someone filled her mind. Tenten decided that there should definitely be a limit to those habits.

"So... Any boys?"

Hanabi stared straight ahead, a dull blush trying to make it's way to surface of her skin. She fought it tooth and nail. "No."

Tenten raised an eyebrow but decided not to say anything else; it's not like Tenten was any good at figuring these things out - hell, she didn't even know when someone was crushing on someone else if it hit her right in the face.

"Oh," she shrugged, "Okay, that's cool."

And then she craned her neck to the side as her attempt to view out the window; when she turned to face Hanabi again, the child was smirking a smirk that Tenten was positive she's seen before. "...What?"

* * *

"You have a hickey."

No, Hanabi's cruelty did not exempt Tenten.

* * *

"It's _not _a hickey. I _fell_... And hit my _neck_."

Tenten huffed and slapped her hands on either sides of her neck. Honestly, these people did not give her a _break_. You know, what? This was Neji's fault. No one else's. She was going to make him pay... Huh, she was going to make him buy her an expensive lunch tomorrow. Yup.

"That's a hickey," Hanabi deadpanned.

"No. It's _not_. Do you know who I _am_, child? I'm _Mitarashi Tenten_. I don't," she wiggled her fingers and scrunched her lips up into a sneer, "do that kind of stuff... Yeah."

"Yeah. That's a hickey. Was it Neji-nii?"

"DON'T BE RIDICULOUS."

Hanabi stared at her, the look on her face still perfectly bland. "So it was Neji-nii. What else happened?"

Tenten's tanned cheeks bled red and a second later she bolted up from her seat. "This family is full of ridiculous nonsense. It was nice seeing you, Hanabi."

And she left the room faster than she could eat an ice-cream cone.

* * *

Hanabi giggled a little menacingly.

So her favourite person and her cousin were "together".

This was _way_ too good to pass up. She was going to need help. And that meant... Ugh, that meant Konohamaru.

...He'd hopefully gotten over The Glue Incident.

Hanabi picked up the phone that was sitting on her night-table (so far, her father had no caved, and gotten her a cell phone; it wasn't something that Hanabi complained about, because she had no real use for it), and dialed her best friend's other best friend's number.

She waited through three rings.

"Get your rear to my house, _now_. I need back-up."

She didn't even let him answer before she hung up, feeling satisfied.

* * *

Hinata watched Tenten swing herself back into the kitchen, looking grumpy.

Well.

That was no good.

She tucked long indigo strands of hair behind her ear, and smiled at Tenten and Ino (they were glaring at each other, already. Oh, _bitch please_). "La-Ladies, stop g-glaring. The cake is r-ready."

* * *

Ino snorted and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"Oh please, Hinata, cake can disrupt my diet."

Tenten looked even more outraged than she had ever looked in a long, long while. "How can you_ say _that? Food is our _friend_!" She turned to Hinata and flailed her arms, "Can I have her slice? Can I?"

"Ino, be quiet, a-and e-eat your cake. Tenten, y-you can have an ex-extra piece, o-okay?"

Tenten's voice was exceptionally soft and innocent as she said, "...How about two extra pieces?"

"...T-there has to be s-some for Neji-nii a-and Father, Tenten." Hinata stared at her with an unreadable face.

"Who cares about them?"

Hinata narrowed her eyes. "_Tenten_."

"Fine! I'll just go ask Neji if I can have his piece!"

* * *

Hinata watched Tenten flail out of the room.

"He-he's not going t-to give his piece u-up. Neji-nii l-loves coffee cake," Hinata told Ino with a shrug.

Ino said nothing; she had flipped her hair over her shoulder again, and had, with a sad nod of respect towards the thought of her diet's grave, put a forkful of cake in her mouth.

Hinata grinned.

_No one_ could say "no", to cake.

* * *

Neji was having a mental hyperventilation session.

No, he did not care how womanly that sounded.

He wanted to bang his head - wait, no, not bang. Wrong word, wrong word, wrong word.

...

Fuck.

Neji hated everything.

* * *

Tenten knew every single room within the Hyuuga Place, as she liked to call it. That's why she had no trouble making her way towards Neji's room. She stared at the shut door and couldn't help but snort a bit. She made to give a quick knock and then only scoffed at herself before walking right inside the room.

Neji's room is beyond neat. There are no words to describe how neat the room really is. Tenten wanted to throw chocolate syrup everywhere... _OH GOD, CHOCOLATE. _She was never going to see chocolate the same way.

"Nejiiiiiiii."

"..." If his back wasn't turned towards her, Tenten would have been able to see his eye twitch.

"Are you back to being all weird again?" She closed the door and walked inside the bedroom until she flopped down on his bed.

"No."

Tenten raised an eyebrow, "_Reallyyyyyy_?"

"Really."

She blinked and fought the urge to shake him until he was... Not being weird. "Well... What'cha doinnnn'?"

"Meditating."

"..." Tenten could only snort at that. "Okay, Rafiki, can I have your slice of cake?"

"...The coffee cake?"

"Mhmm."

Neji finally turned towards her. "No."

"BUT WHYYY."

"Because."

Tenten huffed, stood up from the bed and dropped herself on his lap. "I'm not moving until you agree to give me your slice of cake."

* * *

Neji blinked.

Why the hell did this happen _all the time_?

"Then you won't be moving. Ever."

She pouted, and shifted around. "Fine, be like that. Just let me get comfy."

Neji's face probably looked stricken. Actually, he really had no want to know what he looked like. It would probably not be pretty. The first thought that ran through his head was _Does she have to **move** so much?_

The answer went along the lines of _Yeah, you know what, Neji? Your life sucks. Suck it up_.

"Tenten," he gritted out. "Stop _moving_."

"Shhhh," she mumbled, "I'm just getting comfortable."

"Nghnn," Neji grumbled at her, spine stiff. _Why_ did she do these things to him? It must have been an endless source of amusement for her, but, seriously, this was just _cruel_. Neji could feel her back pressed against his chest, and, while it certainly wasn't unpleasant, it was just... _awkward_.

She finally did stop moving, curling up in his lap like she was a cat, or something.

(What was that, again? Arousal? No, couldn't be.)

* * *

Tenten stared at the wall and poked at her lip-ring with the tip of her tongue.

"So, why do you think Waldo got lost in the first place?" She asked seriously. "I mean, really, what kind of loser gets lost and can't find his way back?"

"Hn. I think he gets lost on purpose."

"Now why would he do that? He's mentally challenged isn't he? Poor thing. A moment of silence for Waldo's nonexistent brain cells." Tenten closed her eyes and remained silent for a minute, if not less.

"No, I think he does it to piss small children off."

She shifted around in his lap again.

"_Tenten._.." Neji growled in her ear.

She blinked and looked up at him, "What?"

"Stop _moving_."

"I can't! I haven't found a position that's comfortable enough." She pouted and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Wait, I think I know of one!"

* * *

Neji... had no idea what to do.

Well.

There was _one_ thing that he knew. He _really_ wanted her to stop moving, or she was going to be slightly uncomrfotable in the next thirty seconds.

And there was a part of him that really just wanted to push her down, and kiss her; damn muscle memory, he could still remember how it had felt to have her scream and shudder against him, around him - and that was getting a little too in-depth for Neji's virginal mind, thank you very much.

But it was too tempting to pass up.

So Neji shoved her against the floor, and hovered above her, his lips mere inches from hers. "More comfortable, now?"

* * *

Tenten's eyes grew wide as she stared at him. Out of all the things she was expecting or would have expected... this was actually the very last in line.

"Yeah," she said while slowly nodding her head, "This is a nice position."

"That's what I thought."

Tenten raised an eyebrow. "Really? You're _thinking_? Huh."

"Hn."

So Tenten allowed a very appealing smirk to appear on her lips as she slowly scraped her nails up his chest. And she could only smirk when she felt him grow tense above her... That is, before she heard him mutter, "If you don't fucking quit it, you won't be able to talk tomorrow. I'll make _sure_ of it."

It was only natural that Tenten grasped this as a challenge. And it was only right that she didn't stop.

* * *

Neji only had one thought. Just one.

_**Fuck** it_.

He dropped his mouth to hers, but not before whispering "Don't scream."

.

.

.

* * *

The first thing Tenten said, once her breathing was back to normal was, "So can I have your slice now?"

"Nope."

"Nejiiii."

"Nope."

"Pleaseeee."

"Nope."

"Can we eat it together?"

There was a pause before Neji muttered, "...Maybe."

At this, Tenten's hopes went up, "I'll feed you!"

"You'll just steal it all," Neji said, and if he were any other person, Tenten was positive he'd huff.

Despite herself, she fingered some strands of his hair, "I won'tttt."

"That's a lie."

"So now I'm a liar," Tenten questioned.

"No," he sighed out.

Before Tenten could utter anything else, he kissed her. Not that Tenten minded... Just don't let her know that.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Karin had not been expecting a phone call at eleven-thirty.

Like, at all.

At eleven-thirty, Karin was curled up in Suigetsu's bed, her nose buried in a book, and her stupid-ridiculous-so-annoyingly-cute boyfriend-person had ditched, and gone back to Naruto's after he'd dropped her off at home. She was very, very comfortable, and _warm_.

She was _not_ about to move.

And then her damn phone rang.

Karin snarled, and picked it up. "Hello?"

It was Ino. _Only_ Ino - of _course_ it was Ino. "_Get your slutty ass to Hinata's. Right now_."

"_Excuse _me? I AM NOT A SLUT!"

_"NOT THE POINT, TRAMP!_"

"WHY, YOU TWO-CENT HOOKER?"

"_EXCUSE ME. I'M WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Also, I need backup_."

"FFFFFFF. YOU'VE SOLD YOURSELF FOR LESS. Oh, backup? What happened?"

_"SO NOT TRUE! Tenten. And Hyuuga Neji. Enough said._"

"...Omigod. Did they fuck?"

"_OH MY GOD, YES. I'll tell you stuff when you get here!_"

"...I'LL BE THERE. I just have to call Suigetsu, and get him to drive me. And I'll pick up Sak, on the way. LOVE AND KISSES, BITCH."

"_FOSHO_!" Ino screeched back.

Karin snapped her phone closed, and mentally went over the conversation for thirty seconds. Mostly, it had consisted of her and Ino yelling insults at each other (but that was totally not something new - that was basically all they did; what the fuck, how were they best friends, again?), and -

Well, Tenten fucking anyone was always amusing subject matter.

But Tenten fucking _Hyuuga Neji_ (who was like Tenten's worst nightmare, right?)... Well, that was just _way_ too good to pass up.

So Karin flicked her phone open, again, and hit speed-dial "3".

Suigetsu's number rang, and Karin smiled into the receiver when she heard the familiar, annoyed "What?"

"Hi. I need a favour."

* * *

"God, what do you want, woman?"

His ice-purple eyes were glued on the screen of the TV, his phone sandwiched in between his shoulder and ear. He glared as he began to be shot at.

_"I need a ride."_

Suigetsu growled. "Karin, what the fuck, you made me drop you off at the house!"

_"I didn't realize that I was supposed to go to Hinata's! Pleasepleaseplease?"_

"God! You break my balls, you annoying woman."

_"You love meeeeeee."_

"Don't say such stupid things." He handed the remote to Sasuke, "You better be ready or I'm leaving."

_"You know you do. And I'm always ready."_

"Whatever." He promptly ended the call and ran a hand through his hair. "Fuck, that girl is fucking annoying. I'll be back."

He left after that, but not fast enough to avoid hearing Sasuke and Naruto chanting a, "Whipped!"

* * *

Karin heard the line go dead, and couldn't restrain a giggle.

He was so whipped.

She grabbed her favourite bag; well, she _was_ going to need something to stuff clothes for tomorrow into. As for clothes right at that moment... totally overrated. She would stick with her pajamas, kaythanks (er. Suigetsu's sole button-up shirt -what else did she wear, honestly- and sweatpants tied up at her knees. Pajamas. Same difference). She grabbed a shirt-dress and a apair of leggings, shoved them into her bag, and went to stand at the front door.

(She grabbed one of his hoodies on the way, too.)

Oh, right, she had to text Sakura...

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Sak-ra  
i'm coming to pick you up. we're going to hina's.**

**From: Sak-ra  
To: Candii  
DO I HAVE TO.**

**From: Candii  
To: Sak-ra  
yes. you have no say in this. you're my bitch. get over it.**

**From: Sak-ra  
To: Candii  
i hate you. so. much.**

* * *

Suigetsu came to a stop once he double parked in his driveway; Karin was outside but she was so busy texting or whatever that the stupid idiot never walked towards him. Suigetsu sometimes wanted to strangle himself when he was around her.

"Would you hurry it up?"

She dashed towards the passenger's seat and threw herself onto him.

Suigetsu hated how he was used to this already.

"We're going to pick Sakura up, okay?"

"What - why? No! Make Sasuke go pick her up; that asshole's just drinking like if nothing! No!"

"Pleaaaaaaaase? I don't want them getting in an accident!"

Suigetsu stared at her with a blank look, "Karin, _I'm_ drinking too and you're still making me drive you around like if I'm a taxi!"

"That's because you drink like a fish."

"Don't be stupid."

"...Please?"

"Fuck you. Where does she live?"

* * *

Karin grinned up at him, and looped her arms around his neck. "It's just a three minute drive - just down past the park."

He looked contemplative for a moment, like he was about to continue protesting his invovlement in this late-night request.

But Karin wasn't going to stand for that.

She stood up on tiptoe, and pressed her lips against the corner of his mouth. Oh, he _had_ been drinking; Karin hadn't even kissed him properly, and she could taste the alcohol on his breath. She watched him colour slightly, and he gently pushed her off. "Move, Toots."

Karin laughed, and kissed him again, before dancing around to the passenger seat of the car.

* * *

Suigetsu was utterly quiet as he drove them to where the pink-girl lived. Seriously, he was going to have to bitch at Sasuke when he gets back to Naruto's house. Something along the lines of "YOU ALCOHOLIC BASTARD, DRIVE YOUR BITCH AROUND AND STOP MAKING ME DO IT". And then he was going to commence in getting drunk. Because unlike Kiba he wasn't a lightweight.

"Alright, here!" Karin chirped out.

Suigetsu growled and waited for the pink-girl to appear.

* * *

Sakura was grumbling and muttering and basically hating _every thing_.

She was going to kill Karin.

Actually.

She trudged out into the cold night air, and saw her best friend sitting shot-gun, with said best friend's boyfriend in the driver's seat, looking bothered. Seriously, what else was new?

...

This was going to be an interesting ride.

Sakura was glad that Hinata's house really wasn't all that far away.

* * *

It was just as quiet as before, within the car... or... well, maybe the two girls were talking or whatever - maybe Suigetsu was just doing a fabulous job at blocking them out. He spared a glance at the pink-girl through the rear-view mirror.

How can someone like _that _have possibly grasped Sasuke's attention? Sasuke's attention was _never _grasped unless, you know, it was a video game, a football game, school-work or his guitar. And this... _pink _thing... was on her way to having Sasuke wrapped around her pinky. It was hilarious once Suigetsu actually thought of it, really.

He smirked and mentally shook his head before sparing the girl one last glance... That's when he saw them; not clearly because it was dark out and he didn't have night-vision, but anyone is able to define the blotches littering on her neck. Hickies.

_Oh, you sly bastard; you're just as much as a whore as the rest of us_. Suigetsu gunned his speed until he was in front of Neji's house and then he waited for the two girls to get out while hiding his impatience.

* * *

Karin grinned at Sakura.

"So. Hi. Let's have an explanation."

Sakura looked confused. There was something about the way that Karin was grinning that really freaked her out - because Karin only grinned like that when she had something on a person, and she wasn't about to forget it. "Mhn? About... what?"

Karin smirked. "Honey, we have _lots_ to talk about. Hickies? That's a new one. Ino's not going to let you live it down."

Sakura flushed dully.

"I hate you. _So. Much_."

Karin grinned widely, again, and shoved her glasses up her nose. "Nah, you love me. Now, tell Auntie Karin just where the hell those bite-marks are from."

Sakura twitched. "Yeah, how about no?"

Karin just raised an eyebrow.

Sakura wilted, and grumbled. "I hate you _so much_."

Karin was about to open her mouth to poke some more information out of Sakura - but right then, Sakura whipped her head up, and smiled cheesily. "Oh, look, we're here! Thanks for the ride, person-whose-name-I-don't-know!"

Sakura jumped out of the car, and Karin blinked. Damn, sometimes Suigetsu drove too damn fast. She leaned into front seat, and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks for the ride. See you later, okay?" she said.

* * *

Suigetsu grumbled a reply and waved her off.

Once she was out of the car, he was flying back to Naruto's house, already getting ready to shove the dirt he's dug up into Sasuke's face.

Because, like, really, what _else _are friends for?

* * *

Ino perked up just as soon as she heard the bell ring.

"Oh! Can I go get it, Hinata? Can I?"

They were just about finished with the dishes and while Ino had been washing all she could keep herself from flailing all over the house at the thought of Neji and Tenten actually kindasortamaybe sharing his slice of cake was... well... She didn't know what the hell kept her from flailing but she was becoming dizzy by the restraints.

"...Don't a-abuse it, I-Ino." She heard Hinata mumble.

Ino gave a short little giggle, "Hinataaaaa, it's just the door!"

"You'd s-still abuse it..."

"I'm offended!"

And so Ino flailed towards the front door and yanked it open. In front of her stood a grumpy yet very wary Sakura and a smirking Karin.

"Bitches and hoes. Good evening - we must dig...are those hickies on your neck, Forehead?"

Sakura looked like a fish without water. "What - I - NO."

But it was too late. Ino needed to do tremendous amount of flailing now. So she grabbed the two girls by the wrists and pulled her inside and led them towards the kitchen where Hinata was finishing the last of the dishes and Tenten was slouching in her seat on the island.

"Look who's here!"

And Ino could only laugh maniacally at the sight of Tenten's deer-in-front-of-headlights look.

* * *

Karin kind of had a love-hate relationship with hickies.

She hated having them, because covering them up with make-up was such a bitch. But she loved it when her friends had them.

Because, damn, if it was not hilarious.

She waved at Hinata, and sat down at the table. Ah, interrogations; they were so fun, and Karin really could just never get enough of the fact that someone would finally tick Hinata off, and set the whole room into an explosion of laughter.

She stole a piece of coffee cake, and sat back to watch.

* * *

"_What _are you witches doing here?"

Tenten stared at them, first at Sakura (who was the least of her worries), then at Karin (whom made her completely wary) and then at Ino (who was the mother of all things evil) and then back at Sakura again. She decided right then and there that she must have been on some sort of drug to have ever befriend people like Karin and Ino (and Sakura, but that was different and-)...

"Sakura, you got some haterssss."

The smirk on her lips wasn't what Tenten was going for. "I wouldn't be talking, Tenten - you look like you were attacked or something."

Tenten despised them all.

"It's not like that. See, unlike you, I fell and hit my neck."

It was quiet in the kitchen as every girl stared at her.

* * *

Karin shook her head. "Tenten. You suck at lying. Give it up."

"I have _no_ idea what you're talking about," Tenten elocuted, nose in the air.

"...Shut up, and eat your cake."

"I am fine with this statement."

Ino had watched the two go back and forth, and spasmed. "ALL YOU. STUPID. OMIGOD. SERIOUSLY."

Sakura grinned to herself. They'd totally forgotten about her. Okay, good; now, just to find a scarf, or something, to hide the - er, the not-hickies. If they picked on Tenten for a bit, all the better.

(Sakura was so not in the mood for this. She was really going to kill Karin, one day.)

* * *

Ino gave them all an incredulous look.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE. Tenten! Work with us so we can turn our attention to Sakura and give _her _the business! Do it now!

"I DO NOT NEED ATTENTION_," _Sakura managed to screech before she made her attempt to hide.

Tenten sucked on her fork and stared at them, "Honestly, I don't see what you're all being worked up for. I mean, really. We all know that I'm like an adorable version of Karin - why are we freaking out?

"AHA, SUCCESS." Ino pumped a fist in the air.

Karin scoffed and jutted a hip out while she stared at Tenten from over her glasses. "Excuse me? Bitch, please. You are the cute version of me the _day I die_."

Tenten smirked, "Which will be soon, HIV-positive slut."

"Ouch. But, hey, I'm not the one with hickies up and down my neck, am I? Who'se HIV-positive _now?_"

And now Tenten looked absolutely affronted. "E_xcuse _me - these are _bruises_ and I will stand by this answer because it's the _truth_. I mean, seriously. How can you all _possibly _think I'd sleep with Hyuuga Neji... Again? He's _Hinata's _cousin. Isn't there, like, a boundary for these things?"

Hinata found it the perfect place to stop this all, "Ladies, let's j-just stop, okay? A-and I mean _n-now_."

Ino pursed her lips and scoffed, Karin just continued to smirk and Sakura? Sakura seemed to look relieved.

But Tenten was now lost within her own world.

* * *

People were so _stupid_, sometimes, Hinata thought with a mental sigh.

Now that everything had calmed down - ergo, the teasing had calmed down, everyone seemed more or less happy.

Hinata smiled to herself, and shot a glance at Tenten.

There was One Of Those Looks on Tenten's face.

Uh-oh.

The last time Tenten had had One Of Those Looks on her face, it had been right before Tenten had gotten into her last relationship - said relationship had not ended well, either. Especially given that it hadn't really happened. Tenten had freaked, and ditched the guy (what was his name - Idate?), and had... sat and shaken and had freaked out, generally.

This was not good.

Well, at least the room was an explosion of noise, and this conversation wouldn't be overheard.

"Tennie?" Hinata asked softly. "Are you okay?"

* * *

No, things were _not _okay.

She had just had sex with _Neji_.

_NEJI_.

Hinata's _cousin_. The guy she'd known since she was seven and he was nine; the guy she played most of her evil jokes on. The guy who was more or less her _nightmare_. The one guy she was _positive _she'd never come close to in _that_ way.

And not only had she had sex with him. Once... Twice... _four times_. She's had sex with him _four times_.

And she'd _kissed _him. At first, the only reason why she'd done such a thing was to cause him displeasure and make him feel uncomfortable... Tenten didn't know jack-shit about relationships or heartwarming feelings or whatever... but those kisses she'd shared / given / had with one Hyuuga Neji were everything but just some other way to make his life miserable.

No, she didn't know what the fuck was going on. No, she didn't _want _to know what was going on. No, she _wasn't _going to stick around to know what was going on. Because this all led to something Tenten did not want to experience and she'd be fucking damned if she allowed someone like Neji to see that vulnerable girl that she struggled so damn hard to hide.

So that was why she bolted up from her seat and looked around rather frantically. She pocketed her shaking hands and lowered her eyes so they'd glue themselves to the ground. "Y-yeah. Just p-peachy... I'll... I... I gotta go... Bye..."

And she ran towards the door, yanked it open and bolted out of sight.

* * *

Hinata sighed, softly, and watched as Tenten booked it in the direction of the door.

Ten minutes later, a lull in the conversation prompted Sakura to blink, and murmur "Where did Tenten go?"

Hinata shook her head. "I - I don't k-know. But I - I think she needed t-to be a-alone..."

"Why?"

"The s-same reason that w-we all run away, I g-guess."

"Boys?"

"Y-yeah. Boys."

"...Stupid boys."

Hinata laughed, and the two girls joined Karin and Ino at the table, to yell some more.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Tenten wrapped her arms around herself as she walked aimlessly.

Sure, it was pretty stupid for an eighteen year old girl to walk around, by herself, at this kind of hour; but it wasn't like this was the first time Tenten had done it. Tenten was an insomniac - she usually always left the house to walk around and think and bitch and do whatever.

But... She also supposes that this time was completely different.

Honestly! How could she have been so damn fucking _stupid_?

She shouldn't have had allowed it - not the first time, not the second, not the third and _certainly _not the fourth. God - she should have just stayed avoiding Neji like she had been. Because, sure, she _was _failing some classes and she _was _missing some credits and she _was _taking computer/night classes... But she _had _been avoiding Neji nonetheless.

And then she just _had _to fucking email him and they just _had _to go to the mall and she just _had _to provoke him enough to get herself laid and she _had _to do it a second time and she just _had _to go ahead and do it a third. Fuck!

She understood that when someone needed a nice fuck, they needed it - she _understood_. But... Fuck, it was a complete and different thing when... Tenten growled and glared at the ground. God, she didn't even know what the fuck she was bitching about any more.

The point is, that she was a complete idiot. There are no amount of words, no fucking phrase that could pinpoint just how much of a foolish bitch she really was.

She sighed and slumped her shoulders.

One thing was for sure - set in stone, even. And that is that there will be no more Neji. No more making him drive her around. No more kissing; no more fucking.

No. More. Neji.

Because this was all getting out of hand.

This was all... This was it.

Tenten squared her shoulders again.

No more.

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra notes from us:

**les**: there's really not much for me to say. DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY. and do a little dance. :)  
**Saraa**: i hate exams. period. i also hate it when the sky is covered with angry-face clouds. it's sad-making.  
**sonya**: "she said, i don't hate you boy, i just want to save you." GRADUATED LAST WEEK. let's make the most of this last summer at home.


	26. how to need help the way the beatles did

**disclaimer**: OM NOM NOM.  
**dedication**: to fb-stalking, weird friends, even weirder conversations ("Can you even get a refund for that?" LOL DANA), and Lady Gaga. but she's like an always given thing, y'know.  
**notes**: I HATE THIS CHAPTER. ish. well. yeah. ... _fuck_.  
**notes2**: uhm, sonya's still working on getting her laptop back - but we're trying. really.

**the chronicles of les: **OH THE TRAUMA. GOD. BEGONE. GO AWAY. RAWR. HASTA LA VISTA, BABY.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

When there was a problem, there was only one real solution.

Itachi took a sip of his rum and coke.

He wasn't quite sure when the nature to this solution came to him; perhaps it was the steady influence of a certain shark-like man who had a penchant for humming the Jaws theme song whenever slightly nervous or distressed. Then again, when the weight of a parent's expectations are on your shoulder (even worse, _both_ of them- one interested in grades and reputation and the other in a bunny-like reproduction process), there was little to do.

He heard Kisame sigh for the sixth time (one came with every sip).

"What's wrong _now_, Uchiha? You only do this," his friend waved at the uncountable collection of full glasses around him, "when something is completely fucked up. Just in your head. Only you see the problem. So tell me what is going down in that head of yours."

* * *

"He - he kissed me, again."

"..._What_?"

Shisui sat next to Temari. "He kissed me, again."

"You just told me that. Explain, please?"

"He _kissed_ me, _again_."

"Yes, Shisui, _I know_. But _what_ are you going to do about it?"

"Temari. He - he kissed me. Again. Why did he kiss me again?"

Temari sighed, and rubbed her temples. She'd forgotten how Shisui got, when there was any mention of Itachi doing something weird. Shisui was the type to over-analyze, but, really, this was ridiculous. "Shisui. I get that he kissed you. _What are you going to do about it_?"

* * *

"... You kissed her."

"Again."

"...You _kissed_ her."

"Are you just repeating yourself again and again?"

"I didn't say it the same way. I emphasized it differen- No, that is not the point. Stop redirecting it. This is why this situation so fucked up. You keep backing away from it. You don't confront. You don't admit the problem and you don't try to solve it. Dammit! Put the glass down. No. What did I just say?"

Itachi closed his eyes and enjoyed the burn of the alcohol as it ran down his throat.

"Why don't you ever listen to me if you come here to discuss something?"

Kisame put his hand on Itachi's shoulders- generally a big no-no, but obviously the man was concerned enough to face his wrath, so he listened to the unusually soft, unusually _pleading_ tone of voice of one of his oldest friends.

"Why do you keep running from the obvious?"

* * *

Temari sighed angrily through her nose.

Shisui was avoiding her questions.

And _that_ was annoying. Temari pinched the bridge of her nose, and listened quietly as Shisui blabbered on and on.

Okay, seriously? Enough was enough.

"Shisui."

"-and I just don't even know what- wait, what?"

Temari brushed blonde hair out of her line of vision. She locked her gaze on her best female friend (because with Shisui, that distinction always had to be made; no matter what, Itachi was Shisui's best friend, and there was nothing that could change that), and sighed.

"You need to confront him. Like. _Now_."

"What? Are you _crazy_? _NO_!"

Temari was very good at being deadpan (she thought it had something to do with dating Shikamaru; he was so deadpan, he had it down to an art). She stared at Shisui, gaze level, and said "Yes. You have to. This is _killing_ you. This _thing_ you and he have. You _avoid_ it like the _plague_, but you can't cut him off!"

"But-"

"_No_, Shisui! It's one or the other! You can't have him and _not_ have him, at the same time!"

Shisui looked like she was about to freak, and Temari hated to have to do this, but it _had_ to be done.

* * *

"Okay, put that down or the shark gets it."

Itachi didn't even bother turning his eyes to his obviously deranged friend. "Kisame. That's your shark toy," he deadpanned. "It matters to me why?" He also considered mentioning to his weekday-roommate that the world had acquired a significant amount of lines since the last time he'd blinked, but then he figured that, for the sake of all the shots he'd planned on taking, he would keep his mouth firmly shut.

Kisame dramatically gasped. "Do you... not care about _my_ happiness at all? All the advice I've given you..." His voice faded into a disapproving aura, "... and never been taken into account."

Deciding not to give him the obvious answer, Itachi took a sip of his _n_th shot glass. There were so many of them...

Why did they keep moving?

The constant dizziness was better, thought the fuzz where his brain was supposed to be, than thinking of a certain _cousin_, whose curly hair found its way around his fingers while his lips found hers.

He wouldn't think of Shisui, wouldn't think of the way her tongue felt slipping against his, wouldn't think about the way her skin easily bruised when his mouth made its way down her neck, wouldn't think of the way she smiled _just_ at him, wouldn't think-.

Too late.

* * *

"I am _not_ going to talk to him!" Shisui shrieked. "ARE YOU _CRAZY_, TEMARI? NO. NO. NO. _NO. **NO**_!"

Temari looked bored. "I'm going to blackmail you."

Shisui looked unimpressed.

They two women stared at each other, both completely set. But, see, the thing was, was that, in the end, Temari was going to win out. Shisui knew it; when Temari got stubborn, she got _stubborn_. She dug in her heels, and she'd fight and fight and fight, until she got her way. Yes, it usually involved blackmail and cyber-stalkage and age-old grudges and bits of dirt that had been long-buried, but... Well, to put it bluntly, Temari _never_ lost, when it came to things like this.

And, really, Shisui was just not in the mood for this kind of fight.

It just wasn't even worth it.

So Shisui let her shoulders slump, and watched as victory crossed Temari's face. She sighed sadly, and said "Only on the condition that we watch Clueless first, okay? And have ice-cream?"

Temari smirked. "Chunky Monkey, on the house. Clueless, Avatar, hell, we could watch _Cinderella_, if it'll get you to talk to him." Shisui looked like she had just thought up a loop-hole in this plan; Temari could tell by the way her face lit up. "One movie, and ice-cream, _today_. And then you're going to talk to him. Before tomorrow. No arguments."

The light vanished from Shisui's face, and she sulked.

Temari knew she'd won, then.

_Bitch_.

* * *

Itachi drained his last glass.

By this time, the world just looked like a giant gradient with a mesh of colors. He nearly crossed his eyes trying to figure out where Kisame was, but there was a lot of blue all over the place, so he decided there was no point of looking for him.

Trying to stand up was a bad idea, he quickly discovered as the world spun and counter-spun until he couldn't tell back from front and what was blue from what was gold. The back of his mind (Side One and Side Two had formed some sort of confederation) was muttering about how he was going to have a _bitch_ of a hangover in the morning.

Assuming he woke up and did not die from alcohol poisoning, of course.

Staggering away from someone who was doing his best to slide-tackle him, Itachi found the dance floor- in more ways than one. After picking himself up off the ground, he managed to find a space on the dance floor.

Along with a pair of arms...

Someone warm...

Who wasn't interested in anything about him...

Who didn't know anything about him.

His mind screamed and shouted.

He kept dancing.

(_Tragic romances are overrated. Romeo and Juliet died. Who gives a fuck about love? Live. Who gives a fuck about someone who makes you happy as long as you're alive?_)

* * *

Shisui snuggled down on the couch, in between a very smug Temari and a very confused Hana.

There was popcorn and ice cream and Disney movies.

For five minutes, Shisui felt like a little kid, again, and that boys were back to being icky bugs that had cooties (but never Itachi; Itachi was too dignified to have something as lame as _cooties_). Shisui giggled, sitting between them, as Hana yelled at Temari to "PUT THE MOVIE IN, BLONDIE!", and throwing popcorn, and Temari shrieking back "DON'T _CALL_ ME THAT!"

For five minutes, Shisui was able to forget.

* * *

Kisame had lost something important.

He gazed at the wall, fixated at the blank space because, goddammit, punching the wall had _hurt_. His hand was still throbbing from the impact. In another five hours, would it still hurt? Dimly, he wondered if this was all worth the fight he was putting forward if it wasn't even wanted.

He'd tried to stop him... and failed, whatever that said about him.

Poor girl.

Unable to do anything else, Kisame settled against the chair and waited, his stomach churning from the unfortunate news he would have to share.

It would be soon.

She was never too far away from _him_.

* * *

Termari looked down at Shisui.

Dear freakin' god, what the hell? She had _fallen asleep_.

...

_Only Shisui_, Temari thought with a fond grin. Well, as long as Shisui was asleep, she might as well put another movie on. Hana was slavering over _Cinderella_ (seriously, what else was new, Hana loved Disney movies more then anyone), and... well... Shisui could kind of be a beast when she was woken up.

So Temari sighed, slid off the couch, and went to put the VCR in (fuck DVD/Blu-Ray, seriously, VCR was the best).

The opening credits rolled, Temari felt vaguely ill, and went to find something to eat.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Three hours later, Shisui woke up.

She blinked slowly, and registered her vaguely familiar surroundings.

...

Oh, okay, this was Hana's living room. Okay. Okay. Okay. Wait, why was she in Hana's living room, again? There was something about... Itachi? It was blurry, and Shisui just didn't care. Temari was nowhere to be found, and Hana was passed out next to her.

And Kiba was sitting on her other side, looking dazed.

Shisui knew _that_ look. She smirked at him. "Seen Ino, recently?"

He flushed. "Shut up, Shisui."

Shisui reached over, and ruffled his hair with a laugh. He ducked away from her, but didn't manage to hide that goofy grin he got that (or so Shisui had found) he got whenever his girlfriend was mentioned in any way shape or form.

Man, the kid was _whipped_.

"God, you're _finally_ awake!" Temari's voice boomed at them. Both Shisui and Kiba winced; it was far too late (or was it early? ... Same thing, really) for that sort of noise, but Temari looked _peeved_, and it was only rarely that Shisui had seen that sort of look on her face. (Usually, it had something to do with Shikamaru and being lazy about his schoolwork, not that that made much difference; when Temari got in _That Mood_, it was best to just get out of her way, and let her do exactly what she wanted. Shisui mentally sighed, and went with it.)

"Yeah, yeah, I'm awake, Tema."

Temari stood there, hands on her hips, and glared at them. "Well, get up! You're going to talk to your cousin _tonight_, remember? We _agreed_ on this, and you are _not_ backing out _now_, I will _not_ allow it!"

Shisui sighed, and pushed herself off the couch. "You make me sad."

Temari rolled her eyes, and grabbed Shisui's arm. "Stop quoting Monty Python, it's sickening."

"What's more sickening is that you know that it's a Monty Python quote," Temari huffed, blonde hair in her eyes, and she hauled Shisui out of the house without further ado.

Kiba snickered, and turned the T.V. on.

* * *

The room was only remotely familiar, something that he had possibly seen in a dream years ago when he was five. He knew it, yes, but something was... different. Maybe it was the way the air was full of static, charged with electrons. The tension was more than palpable- it was solid, filling everything and making it a million times harder to breathe. There was this anticipation, this waiting feeling that extended all around him and Itachi wondered...

Really wondered, beyond that alcohol-induced haze, if everything- this _release_- was worth it.

Trouble was coming.

Giving a deep sigh, he ignored it and let himself sink into his bed in a light slumber again.

* * *

Shisui grumbled, and allowed Temari to drag her along. She wasn't sure where they were headed - it was either Akatsuki, or his dorm room.

But Itachi was a creature of habit, and, really, when he got - _distressed_; that was the best word for it - he always ended up at Akatsuki, normally drunk off his face in his private room above the bar. It wasn't the first time that that had happened, either. Normally, he would have ended up drunk-dialing her, and muttering about how things never went his way.

Shisui winced.

Well, that certainly wouldn't be happening _this_ time.

_This_ time, they were going to talk through this.

(Even if Temari had to force it, which, let's face it, was probably going to be the case, because Shisui _really_ didn't want to talk to Itachi, yet. There were still things that didn't make sense, and still so many things that just really _hurt,_ and, mostly, Shisui was very against this.

It had nothing to do with the dark feeling that was radiating from somewhere near her navel; really, it didn't.

Or something.)

Temari's eyes lit up, and she dragged Shisui past the red velvet rope, throwing a nod at the pair of bouncers (Zaku and Dosu... Temari knew them both well enough to have beat them over the head, thoroughly, the one time they had tried to deny her entry to Akatsuki. That had been two and a half years ago. They hadn't tried to stop her from doing what she wanted [including spraying cut-off patrons with silly string and carbonated water] since), and running inside.

The pounding beat hit her somewhere around the navel (at exactly that same spot where the dark feeling was radiating from), and Shisui shuddered. She looked around, the scent of too many people and spilled alcohol singeing the inside of her nose. She winced, and allowed Temari to drag her towards the large blue body of flesh that was Itachi's best friend.

She couldn't really see the look on Kisame's face, and Shisui knew the look on Temari's was probably very determined.

But it didn't matter.

Because Shisui was honestly just along for the ride.

* * *

Kisame didn't really remember when he became the official unofficial bearer of bad news. It felt like a tattoo on his forehead- branded until nothing, not holes nor needles, could remove it.

He felt some fruity indie rock song playing in the back ground more than he heard it (_Say you don't want it, say you don't want it. Don't you ask me if its love, my dear. Love don't really mean a thing 'round here. The fake scenes, the plastic-made dreams- say you don't want it, say you don't want it_.). The swaying movement of the crowd lightened his mood as he bobbed his head to some internal rhythm.

Vaguely, he heard Tobi ask him where Shisui-chan was and if Kisame thought she would bring him some more crackers. "I hope she doesn't come here," he said distractedly, his eyes fixed on the door (The Portal Of Doom). "And why would she bring you crackers? Who are you, Polly the Parrot?"

The door opened and his eyes widened almost comically in preparation for the task of finding Her and telling Her the Bad News- or leading her to where she could see it for herself.

Thinking absentmindedly with his eyes trained on the door, he wondered why some people- rather smart people, actually- were so... so _blind_. Why they _insisted_ on causing themselves and everyone else so much bloody trouble was incomprehensible to him.

Then he saw four ponytails sticking out and immediately Kisame started roving his gaze around. Where Temari was, generally Shisui was only a few people behind.

He saw her a few people out in the crowd and braced himself.

* * *

Temari dragged Shisui along behind her.

_There_ was Kisame.

Stupid blue lug.

Temari marched staright up to him, and said, voice flat "I need to find Shisui's idiot cousin. Where is he?"

Shisui peeked around Temari, and waved at Kisame frantically. _Please just tell her, please just - I just want this over with, please-please-please_! And Shisui _knew_ that he'd seen the frantic gestures. He was just ignoring them, in favour of giving Temari what she wanted, and keeping his balls attached.

Because Temari was kind of crazy, like that.

Kisame sighed, rubbed his forehead, shot a covert glance or two around, and muttered, his voice barely coherent over the music "This isn't the best time, Temari."

Temari scowled. "_Tell_ me, Sharkboy. _Now_."

"How much do you care about Shisui?" he asked as he scowled right back.

Temari felt like they were in one of Shisui's horrible soap operas. Ugh. "Enough to want her to be happy, and to do that, she has to talk to Itachi. They've ben dancing around each other long enough, already."

"Then talk tomorrow. Or in five years. Just... not now. If she does it now... she'd break, Temari, and no one wants to see that."

Temari shot him her coldest look - and that was saying something. Temari froze people to death for a _living_. "This has to be done _right now_, Kisame. I've finally managed to get her to admit she's in love with him, and don't you _dare_ take that away from her. She's going to talk to him. _Right. Now_."

Kisame looked more then exasperated. "He's at our dorm. But please. For once, just take my advice. Don't do it. Itachi's not himself, and - she'll just end up in a worse place. You know that she's something of a little sister to me."

Temari was about to give him a verbal lashing. Ugh, Kisame was _so annoying_ - _how_ did Yuugao stand him, again? But half-way through his speech, Temari felt movement at her back.

"Shisui-"

But Shisui was gone, and Temari could only see a flash of reckless blue-black curls disappearing out of sight. Shisui must have heard where Itachi was hiding, and had booked it away. That was so like Shisui, too. Temari sighed, and looked at Kisame. "What do you mean, he's not himself?"

Kisame was staring after where Shisui had disappeared, a grim look painted across his (blue) features. "He's with someone else."

The colour drained out of Temari's face.

_Shit_.

* * *

Temari was out of the club and running. She passed by Zaku and Dosu in a blur of desginer jeans and perfume, not even bothering to wave at them as she disappeared around a corner. Itachi's dorm wasn't far - it wasn't far, and she would get there, and they would - they would...

They figure this out.

Jeans were hard to run in, Shisui thought idly, as she skidded around another corner. Especially skinny jeans.

But her stupid jeans weren't going to stop this from happening.

_Nothing_ was going to stop this from happening.

She was three minutes away from Itachi's dorm room. Shisui dashed through the door, her breathing shallow, excited, scared. Two flights of stairs, that was it, two flights of stairs... She took the stairs two at a time, up and up and up.

Run down the hall, and stop in front of the door.

Shisui stopped, there, and breathed.

Okay.

Okay.

She calmed her heartbeat. Raised her fist.

And knocked.

* * *

Terumi Mei was a light sleeper.

Or, maybe it had to do with the fact that the other person inhabiting the room was passed out. Looking down at him, light green eyes blank, she decided that he was a fool. Did he not know that getting drunk never alleviated the feeling (whatever petty feeling it was he was trying to drown out)? It made it worse.

Sex... Well, that was another story.

Smirking, Mei reached for Itachi's shirt and slipped it on. Standing in the middle of the room, she untucked her long auburn hair out of the collar and let it rest down her back. She walked towards the door as another knock came and she carefully opened it.

There was a girl standing in front of her. She stared at her, dainty eyebrow raised.

"May I help you," she asked.

The other girl twitched as she asked, "...Is Itachi here?"

Mei raised her eyebrow again and leaned her left side against the doorframe, her right hand on her right hip. "He is, but he's sleeping," she sighed out, "I can take a message if you'd like."

"Tell him that his _cousin_ Shisui dropped by. And tell him never to talk to me again."

"Will do, princess," Mei scoffed. Her light sea-foam eyes held something close to amusement as she watched Shisui turn around and stalk off, stiff as a rod.

Shaking her head and rolling her eyes, Mei slipped back into the room, closing the door behind her. Everything made sense now.

How ridiculous this all was, really.

* * *

Shisui walked straight past Temari.

She had nothing to say.

There was nothing _to_ say.

And she was done - done trying, done being, just _done_.

Itachi could deal with the repercussions of this on his own.

Shisui was _done_.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Naruto didn't like mornings.

Especially morning that came after a good all nighter making a world record alongside his best friend. People around the world were _jealous_ of him and Sasuke-teme. It made Naruto gloat with pure pride. Him and Sasuke were an unstoppable team. No one, abso-fuckin'-lutely no one could get passed them. It was pointless to try and Naruto cackled at those who did.

Groaning almost in pain, he kicked the covers off his form and sat up. His hair was in a mess - blond, droopy spikes shooting off all over the place. He ran a hand through it, making it messier rather than dominating them; his blue eyes looked around his room and he groaned. He should probably clean up.

But Naruto was a procrastinator.

So instead he booted up his laptop and went to go take his morning... Erm... Pee. Yeah.

Coming right back out after washing his hands, Naruto logged on to his email account.

If he was gonna procrastinate, he was going to do it by talking to the most amazing girl he's ever met.

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _And all the king's horses..._

Good morning, Snowy-chan!

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _And all the king's men..._

Good morning!  
How are you?

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again._

I'm fine, thank you for asking.  
And how are you?

Are you still beautiful?

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _I love children's rhymes... they always make me smile_.

I'm... I'm good.  
A little sleepy, but, uh, that's pretty normal.

...AHFKL, it's _way_ too early for that kind of flattery.  
Are you still _way_ too cute?

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: **You **_make me smile._

Sleepy? Did I wake you?  
Did you go to sleep late, Snowy-chan?

Nonsense! It's never too early for speaking the _truth_.  
Well, I wouldn't really know... How about _you _tell _me_?  
Am I still too cute?

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Really? How much?_

No, you didn't... Superstar did, she texted me, and my phone wouldn't stop ringing...  
Late? What is your definition of "late"?

I- I- BLUSH.  
Yes, you still are _way_ too cute.  
And I- I- I can't believe I just typed that. blushblushblush.

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _A lot. You make my smiles brighter than the light of day._

Superstar. Heh. How _is _our dearest Superstar?  
Meh, I don't have a definition to it - I go to sleep around... four a.m.? Possibly later?

D'aww, Snowy-chan, you're making me blush.  
If you were in front of me, I'd hug you right now.

...Sayyyy. D'you wanna go out for breakfast? My treat.

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _You're already the sun. How does that change anything_?

She's... not in a good place. I- I'm trying, really I am.  
How are you even _alive_?

It's only fair, you - you make me blush _all the time_.  
I like hugs. :)

...I would love that.  
Pick me up at the park on Seventh? My dad and Neji are home, and I don't, uhm, want them to kill you or - or something...

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _I'm the sun? Whoa, pray tell, what gave you **that **analogy?_

What's wrong with her? Is she okay? Did Thunder do something to her? Should I beat him up?  
Meh, I've gotten used to it.

Alright, fair is fair. I'll let it slide, just because this is you.  
I like hugs, too. 'Specially yours. ;)

Awesome.  
Yeahhhhh. Park and Seventh it is. Because The Barbie-Doll and your dad killing me is just not done. Thunder already said that would be his job. Hah.

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _Uhm, you - I - **look** at yourself!_

She's... I don't know. I can't - can't explain it. I don't think it was him.  
You... you need to sleep, Hokage-san.

...BLUSHBLUSHBLUSH.

Mmkay. See you... in a little bit?

Sincerely,  
-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _...I'm a blond...? Is it because I'm blond?_

Well, maybe he'll help her. He may not seem it, but Thunder-teme is really caring once he _knows _you.  
Bah, sleep, shmeep. I get on fiiiiiiine. And what's with the 'san'? I don't like 'san'. I like 'kun'. ;D

I'll see you there.

-Hokage

* * *

At that, Naruto quickly fled to the showers, doing the necessities before he quickly stumbled out and dressed himself. Once that was over with (gray skinnies, orange converses, black t-shirt) he ruffled his hair dry, giving it the wild look he always had and then he was out of his room.

"I'm going out, Ma'!" He called out, grabbing his car keys and not waiting for his mother to reply. He was out the door in a second.

Hinata-chan. Hinata-chan. Hinata-chan.

Grinning like a complete fool in love (bahaha, oh god, he cracked himself up), he got into the car and drove off to meet _Hinata-chan_.

Blinking, his grin widened. _She's so preeeeeettyyyyy_.

* * *

It was only a three minute walk to the park on Seventh. Hinata's hair was put up, for once, her bangs falling around her face, tied back with a white ribbon. She had called Ino (Sakura was a no-no, because, hi? Sakura would only tell her to kill him, or something) and had a mini-freak-out, and the gorgeous blonde had calmed her down enough to walk her through the proceedings of getting ready - ex: getting out of the sweats and hoodie she'd been wearing, and pulling on a white-polka-dotted red dress.

(Yes, Hinata liked polka dots. They were cute.)

She tugged at the dress - nervous, nervous, she was so freakin' nervous, and what if- what if...

She stopped herself. _Breathe, Hina, breathe. We know he's into you. So just sit back, and chill. DO NOT FLAIL LIKE KARIN. Because that would be counter-productive. Which is kinda stupid and lame and EEP, THAT'S HIM. AHSFKL_.

* * *

Naruto doubled parked his precious Mustang right next to Hinata's form.

And she looked sooo prettyyyyy.

He grinned at her, unlocking the doors so she'd be able to get inside. When she did, he greeted her with his usual "Hey Hina-chan!" And don't even _remind _him how _happy _he is that her crazy friends weren't with her this time. Because Naruto'd be shitting bricks by now.

"So where would you like to go, Hina?"

* * *

Hinata just smiled.

"U-uhm... well... I-I..." Well, she didn't really know where she wanted to go... She was kinda-sorta hungry, but at the same time, not hungry at all. Hungry for his presence, maybe, but that wasn't really something she knew how to convey, and he was there right then, wasn't he?

Hinata tilted her head at him. "Uhm... maybe Lu-Luffy's?"

His face lit up like a lightbulb. All he said was "Good idea, Hinata-chan!"

And off they went.

* * *

"And so there we were, him by the collapsed building and me on top of some bars. It was kinda scary how we had to stay alive or we were both done for - and trust me, Sasuke-teme, when he gets pissed it's all bad. I mean, even I get kinda scared and I'm so immune to his violent mood swings. But yeah."

He parked his car right in front of Luffy's (SCORE ONE FOR THE CUTE TEAM) and unlocked the doors to allow access of getting out. "In the end, we ended up making it. And then we got hate-texts. I'm serious - me an the Teme are always like 'don't hate me, 'coz you ain't me'."

Once out of the car, he locked the doors and stuffed his keys in his pockets. Then, he grabbed Hinata's hand and held it in his, softly, because she was delicate. And then... He kissed her cheek.

"I missed ya, Hina-chan!"

* * *

Hinata just... blushed. And blushed, and blushed. It was like his lips brushing against her cheek was the catalyst to the chemical reaction that was her blushing. She half-smiled up at him, and had an urge to tuck his arm around her shoulders - it would have been so nice.

Stupid winter was so cold.

But she didn't.

Instead, she let him lead her towards the front door's of Luffy's, and she murmured back "I m-missed you, too."

And it wasn't a lie - she _had_ missed him. She had missed the way his lips quirked up when something amused him. She had missed the way he jabbered about nothing and everything; she had missed the way there was no such thing as an awkward silence when he was around.

But honestly? What she had missed the most was probably just being in his presence.

Hinata didn't even care that she probably sounded mentally like a sap. It was true.

* * *

To him, Hinata was everything synonymous with sweet.

Just looking at her gave him a sweet-tooth. Honestly, Naruto was having a hard time actually trying to be... _slow _with this. The last thing he wanted was for her to faint on him again - oh god, we know how _that _went. He shivered and shook his head, his lips forming a smile as the person-who's-name-he-forgot led them to their table.

Once seated, Naruto looked at the small girl from over his menu. Honestly? They were complete opposites, once you thought about it - he was loud, confident, tall, booming... the _sun_, as she put it. While Hinata was quiet, almost-kinda introverted, small, meek... the moon, he considered.

She was so pretty.

A grand smile appeared on his lips.

God, it was so weird and lame how he fell so quick. But... With Hinata... It was most definitely worth it.

* * *

Hinata tried to calm herself down before something drastic happened (oh, like spontaneously combusting, maybe?), but somehow... didn't manage it... at all. Naruto was giving her A Look from over his menu, and part of Hinata simply died, then and there.

Gosh, he was cute.

The waitress came over, and smiled at them both. Hinata could see the look of 'Ah, young love...' on the woman's face, and Hinata's cheeks flamed. Damn it. The waitress, her voice a motherly lull, murmured a soft "Can I take your order?"

Hinata looked at Naruto, but he just shook his head. "You first, Hinata-chan!"

She flushed, and the waitress looked like she was about to go into a giggle fit.

"A-ah... Uhm, maybe m-miso ramen for me?"

* * *

Her?

Yeah, that girl sitting in front of him?

She was a total keeper. Yup, Naruto was _damn straight _gonna keep her around. His heart beat against his ribcage like in those old cartoons - this was just amazing. His blue eyes glittered with pure admiration.

Because, like, out of _everything _else she could have ordered... She ordered ramen.

Ramen.

Loveeeeee.

"I'll have the same thing, please," he ordered with a foxy grin.

And then, when the waitress left, Naruto's attention was back on her.

* * *

Hinata _flailed_.

Having Naruto's attention was like having a million cameras around, all zeroed in on her face. At least, when they were walking, Hinata had something else to concentrate on - oh, like _not falling over_. But right now, there was nothing like that.

It was kind of hard to fail at _sitting down_.

Luffy's was emptying out - the lunch rush was slowing, and people were starting to leave. Hinata brushed her hair out of her face, caught Naruto's gaze, and turned into a pile of mush.

Oh dear.

* * *

He grinned at her, blue eyes fascinating at how she was flushing.

"So," he said, deciding to quit making her blush before she fainted. "How do you think things are going with Sasuke-teme and Sakura-chan? Personally, I think it's going great!" He nodded at her, his grin growing wide. "I know it seems like nothing's changed, but Sasuke-teme is growing a soft spot for Sakura-chan! It'll be no time before they..." He wiggled his fingers in the air, "You know."

He watched her blush deepen and heard her squeak.

Naruto laughed.

"Relax, Hina," he said.

* * *

"I-I'm not s-sure..." Hinata told him quietly.

He had such a nice laugh.

Hinata's face was blotchy red as the blush slowly began to recede from her face - and Naruto was still staring at her, a strangely mischievous (it wasn't anything like the one that was funny, sweet, _cute_, ... oh my, **_drool_**) grin. "Do y-you _like_ making m-me blush?"

When his grin got just a little bit wider, Hinata eeped, and turned red again.

Okay.

She _really_ had to get control of this.

* * *

Before he could answer her adorable question, their ramen arrived.

He stared down at the noodles in broth, listened to the waitress ask if anything else was needed and then head off when they both declined. Before he even dug into his food, he lifted his head a bit and stared at Hinata through the strands of blond hair that fell over his eyes.

"Nah," he shook his head, "I like _you_."

With a new blush creeping onto her cheeks, Hinata stammered a, "W-what?"

"That's my answer. To your question." He grinned again. "I like everything about you."

* * *

The ramen in front of her steamed, tendrils of visible heat rising up. It smelled warm and good, and warmed Hinata right down to her bones. Such a nice thought. A million and three things were running through Hinata's mind, but it all funneled out into one single question.

"_Why_?" she asked. "I'm n-not special o-or _anything_..."

Hinata knew that Naruto was way out of her league; he was older, attractive, in _university_, possibly the nicest guy she'd ever met, _attractive_, sweet, **_attractive_** - what was he doing hanging around _her_? Seriously, Hinata knew she didn't have a chance; why was he even taking her out to eat?

Oh, great, she just reminding herself of all the reasons that this was not the kind of relationship that ever worked out.

Great. Just _great_.

Hinata quietly despaired.

* * *

Naruto blinked.

And blinked.

And blinked again.

_What _was she _talking _about? Seriously, that was all complete blasphemy - what she said, it was. It was worthy of sacrilege or something far, far worse. Naruto had a tough time remaining cool and calm. It wasn't like he was angry at her or whatever - it was just... how could she look down at herself like that?

Couldn't she see?

"Hinata-chan, you're _amazing_," he murmured. "You're into music, you play the piano, you draw. You can cook. Hinata-chan - you're more than amazing. You're _you_ and you're _perfect._"

Seriously.

The girls at the uni were pretty. He would admit that. But they were either stuck up, bimbos, or they only used him as their attempt to get to his best friend. Hinata was none of that. She was pretty (read: gorgeous-beautiful-ethereal-stunning) and modest and she knew so much and she was so polite and she _liked _him...

...Right?

* * *

Hinata blinked at him, the shock of those words knocking out the blush that would normally have appeared right about this moment. She tucked her hair behind her ear, and looked him in the face. Stared him in the eyes.

No one had ever said anything quite like that to her (no, Ino did not count; Ino said that about every single person in the world that she cared about - Ino thought that everyone was beautiful in their own way).

Gosh, he was pretty.

"N-Naruto-kun, I _like_ y-you-" the words took effort, now, and Hinata could feel all her blood rushing to her head -_don'tfaintdon'tfaintdon'tfaint._ "-A _l-lot_. A-and-" even harder, more effort now, "-I-I k-know I'm just - just-"

She couldn't even get the words out. Damn it.

Well, there were better ways to say things then words, Hinata figured. She carefully slid out of the booth, and walked the two steps that separated them. She kept her brain focused on the task at hand, and not at the slightly frightened look on his face. She needed to _concentrate_.

She bent down, and very, very gently pressed her lips against his cheek. She pulled away from him, forced the stutter off to another corner of the universe, took a deep, deep breath, and said "I-I don't want to just be some girl you know. I want to be your _girlfriend_."

* * *

Naruto's bright blue eyes were as wide as saucers, his face in general looking that of one who is so stunned... there wasn't even words to describe it. He was speechless - his brain completely shutting down on him.

And all that was playing in his head was her voice, her pretty voice repeating and repeating. _"I want to be your girlfriend I want to be your girlfriend I want to be your girlfriend."_

He didn't understand why his mouth wouldn't move, nor why his brain will not instruct him what is to say - hell, if you want to go all cliche, his heart was stunned quiet as well. It was ludicrous, he decided. It... Why did he react this way? Didn't he want the same thing too? Of course he did! Since he first met her, Naruto had been pulled towards her as if an invisible thread was wrapped around him, linking him to her.

But now... Now that _she _took the initiative to let out what they both clearly wanted... He was dumbstruck. Speechless. At a loss of words.

...Stupid.

Naruto's eyes were unblinking as he stared at the table, his hand itching to touch the cheek she had kissed. But he was numb - he didn't know why, but he was. _Stupid! Say something to her! You're making a bad impression, _Kiba growled in his head. Naruto was still as unresponsive as he had been before. It was harder than it sounded, okay? Seriously... Actually no, he just didn't know - _dude, you're choking, just come off it and tell her how you feel_, Suigetsu grumbled right along with Kiba.

But, as much as the voices of his friends' inside his head usually made him think more clearly (as weird as it sounded), Naruto just... He didn't know.

_If you hurt her and her feelings, I'm killing you,_ Neji said placidly. Normally, Naruto'd snort at that... but... but... GOD, WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH HIM?

Hinata was most probably panicking now, he knew. She was probably thinking she was a fool to think he'd ever want to be more than friends with her. And she was so damn wrong! Naruto wanted to tell her he liked her a lot too! And... god, why wouldn't his mouth _open?_

_Dobe, _Sasuke snorted within his head, _be stupid at another hour. Just say it already. If she runs off it'll be more troublesome to explain yourself, idiot. _Even Sasuke had something to say of the matter. This was the fact that Naruto was not responding correctly.

He finally blinked and turned to look at her, his shocked expression melting down and a grand smile taking it's place. He watched Hinata's hurt-rejected expression blank out as she waited for his true reply.

Naruto kissed her.

* * *

Hinata's hands were clasped in front of her, her stomach knotting and knotting and _why wasn't he saying anything_?

His hand went to the back of her head, and Hinata realized that she was being kissed.

Well.

That was more then nice.

And then Hinata's brain blanked out, and she didn't really think anymore.

* * *

Pulling away from her soft lips, reluctantly - because she was some kind of addiction, Naruto's blue eyes flew open. Shining.

"Hinata-chan," he breathed out, "that was... that was damn amazing. Your assertiveness was such a turn on."

He watched her blush come back to her cheeks, a soft squeak escaping past her lips. Naruto's smile widened all the more. Hinata was just... she was... She was completely amazing. And Naruto'd do anything to keep her by his side.

"Hinata, having you as my girlfriend is _better _than having all the ramen in the world." He laughed, "You'd be... like... a precious gem that I'll hold dear."

* * *

Hinata flushed, and murmured "You d-don't have to be s-so _corny_ about it, you k-know."

Naruto laughed (Hinata's tummy did flip flops and whirls and twirls and _gosh, he was cute_), and pulled her down beside him, and said "This girl said that to me once. I was just making fun of her. But you being my girlfriend will rock my world!"

Hinata bit her lip, and giggled. "You are _so_ c-corny, Naruto-kun. S-so, _so_ corny."

He grinned hugely at her, and pulled her ramen over, so that they could eat sitting next to each other. Hinata flushed, and was tempted to cuddle into his side.

* * *

Naruto gave her a bright smile to go along with his sly look, "I'd be offended by your words, Hinata-chan, if you didn't stutter."

"Well, i-it _was_ corny!" Hinata fought back another batch of giggles.

"S-sure," Naruto said, feigning to stutter.

"Hey! It's n-not nice to mock so-someone a-about something they h-have no control over!"

Naruto laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Okay, okay. N-no more mocking."

* * *

Hinata actually pouted. "You _suck_."

"Nooo, I do another kind of service, Hinata, you can find out if you'd like."

Hinata stared at him, flabbergasted, and slightly horrified, all in one. "You - I - _Naruto-kun_!"

He blinked at her, looking confused. "...Whaaaat?"

"Neji-nii would _k-kill_ you," she told him flatly.

He just grinned. "I'm not afraid to die."

"N-Naruto-kun, _no_."

He just shrugged. "Your loss."

And Hinata had finally had enough. Okay, yes, she liked him. But she _hated_ it when guys got like - _that_. Normally, Karin or Tenten or _someone_ would take care of it, but - just this was _so_ not the time. Hinata stood up, just looked at him for a second, contemplated smacking him over the head, and then walked away.

* * *

Naruto still had his grin, even as she stood and walked away. Shaking his head, he too got up and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back until she collided with his chest. Chuckling, he said, "I was _joking_, Hinata-chan. Lighten up."

She only glared at him from over her shoulder.

He gave her a dashing smile.

"I wouldn't do that with you - it's too soon."

"Then _d-don't _make _fun_ o-of me." She said so softly, that Naruto had to reel in a bit closer to catch her words.

"I _wasn't_ making fun of you," he said, "God, now I know not to joke around with you."

"N-Naruto-kun, I've - had people m-make fun of my st-stutter before, o-okay? And I - hate it."

Naruto had the patience of a saint; he knew, and he's been told enough times to make him remember for a life time. But when he was, most probably not intentionally, but either way, being put as the bad-guy to something he didn't do, didn't mean or didn't know... It irked him. But this person is special and he'd be damned if he showed just how irked he was beginning to get. So with a tight smile he said, "Well, did _I_ know that? 'Course not, we just met, what, some months ago?"

"I know. I - I just..."

Sighing, he gently placed his index finger under her chin and brought her face up so she could look at his face. "Sorry, okay. I won't do it again."

* * *

"Yeah, okay," she told him quietly, and struggled not to melt.

Stupid, pretty boy.

He just grinned down at her, and tilted his head back towards the table. "We haven't eaten yet, Hinata-chan," he told her, almost a reminder, and Hinata blinked.

Oh, they hadn't, had they?

She kind of smiled up at him. She knew that sometimes she got frustrated over little things, but no one was perfect. She couldn't expect Naruto -and all his godly gorgeousness, seriously, _it was not fair_,- to know the things she was scared of, or the things that made her sad.

Well then. She'd just have to tell him.

She stood up on her very, very tiptoes, and kissed him.

"I - I'm sorry. That w-was... I o-overreacted."

* * *

He shook his head as he led her back towards the table.

"Nah, I over-did it. It's okay."

"No - I s-shouldn't have expected y-you to know."

"I shouldn't of done it anyway."

Hinata giggled and leaned into him. Naruto grinned his signature grin.

If this is as long as their arguments were going to last, and if this was the way they were going to fix it - he supposed he didn't mind it.

* * *

The waitress brought their food.

The two bowls of steaming miso ramen made Hinata smile - the look on Naruto's face was priceless. Seriously, he was just so cute, even when he was eating like a heathen. Hinata had to cover her mouth to stop the giggles that were threatning to bubble over, and out of her control.

"H-Hey, N-Naruto-kun..."

"Yeah?"

Hinata just smiled. "T-Thanks."

He blinked. "...For what?"

"Just - thanks."

He grinned at her, dazzling and sunshine and Hinata was momentarily blinded (she was going to have to do something about this; she couldn't just walk around blind; she would end up walking into something, and then bleeding all over the place, with her luck). "Yeah. Anytime, Hinata-chan."

* * *

God, she was just so _prettyyyy_.

Even as he ate and concentrated on his precious ramen, all of Naruto's attention drifted back to her.

Before he could say anything to her, though, his cellphone vibrated against his thigh. Blinking, he fetched the device out of his jeans' pockets and unlocked the screen. He blanched out at the message he read.

**From: Teme  
To: Narunoodles  
You. Idiot. Get your ass to my house. My mom's having one of those dinner-things.**

Naruto wouldn't mind the food, because, really, Sasuke's mom cooked just as good as his mom (god, he was sounding like Suigetsu now). But... Oh, who was he kidding, Sasuke's mom was batshit crazy. She was... _crazy_. Sure, not crazier than Neji's email-person-thing or Hinata's crazy friend... But... crazy nonetheless.

**From: Narunoodles  
To: Teme  
oh crap, really? do i have to go? will she go apeshit on us if i don't?**

**From: Teme  
To: Narunoodles  
What do you think, idiot? Hurry the hell up.**

**From: Narunoodles  
To: Teme  
fiiiiine. god. but you better have booze. srsly.**

He looked up at Hinata and he was swooning all over again. She was _so pretty_.

"I'm going to have to cut this date shorter than I thought," he said.

* * *

Hinata blinked, and tilted her head. "W-why? Did something ha-happen?"

"Oh, no. Nothing like _that_. I have to go to Sasuke-teme's house."

Hinata smiled. "F-for what? Mikoto's n-nice, you know."

Naruto looked horrified. "...She's _crazy_, Hinata-chan. She's, like... gah. But... She's having us over to feed us."

Well, yes, Mikoto _was_ crazy, Hinata mused. She'd heard horror stories from Neji, but every time she'd met the woman, Mikoto had seemed perfectly rational (albeit, she had been holding knitting needles at the time, and had been knitting little baby booties... but everyone had their own kink's, right?). Hinata had a sneaking suspicion that they were all lying to her. "B-but she _is_ nice! Actually, s-she's a lot like T-Tenten, n-now that I think a-about it..."

Naruto continued to look horrified. "_Exactly_! The world needs to stop producing crazy people! Mikoto-kaa, your friend, _my psychology teacher_. God, we're doomed."

Hinata just smiled, and sort of shrugged.

Well, he hadn't seen _really_ crazy, yet; he hadn't been shopping with Ino. She slipped her hand into his, underneath the table. Her voice was gentle when she asked "W-when do you h-have to leave?"

* * *

His eyes lowered down to their linked hands and his tanned cheeks turned rosy. He looked back up at her and he was already smiling.

"Soon, probably. I wouldn't want to get in trouble in front of everyone - that'd be embarrassing." He gave their hands a squeeze, "But 'til then, let's just enjoy the ramen!"

Hinata giggled and gave a nod.

Naruto just continued to smile like the goofball he was. There was just something about her that made him want to continue to smile and be happy and god she was so pretty he wanted to keep her forever and ever. Seriously.

With their hands still linked under the table, they both continued to eat their ramen in a complete serene silence.

* * *

Hinata delicately wiped her mouth out of habit - and then winced. She was _never_ going to forgive her father those etiquette lessons; they had ruined her childhood, they really, really had. She sighed, and leaned back into the cracked leather seats.

Part of her - and Hinata didn't know which part, because, really, Naruto had her heart tied up in every part of him, and that was sad, because she'd likely never figure out exactly what it was she felt for him - wanted him to ditch his friends, and stay with her. That part wanted to be selfish, even if it was only for just this once.

But at the same time, Hinata knew that that wasn't fair.

They were two seperate people, even if they were kind-of-sort-of _together_.

...

Well. _That_ thought gave Hinata butterflies all over the place.

She glanced at Naruto from underneath lowered lashes, and she blushed.

"U-uhm, N-Naruto-kun, I hate to a-ask, but, uhm, will you, uh, d-drive me h-home?"

* * *

Naruto stared at her, face expressionless, lips in a neutral frown.

If it's one thing his mother (and Sasuke's mom, too... Oh, god, _especially _Kiba's mom) drilled in his head, it was to be a gentleman and treat a lady with respect. Treat her right, make her smile, be her friend - - all of that. It was like some sort of bootcamp that _all _of them had to go through.

How could he _not _drop her off at her house?

He wasn't just going to leave her there to fend for herself. Something could _happen_. How did that thing go... Expect the unexpected.

"Hinata-chan," he said slowly, "How can you possibly think I'd leave you here?"

"I k-know you wouldn't, b-but I d-didn't want to im-impose..."

Naruto grinned and waved it all off, "You're not imposing on anything! Of _course _I'll drop you off."

* * *

Hinata smiled at him, really smiled.

"Thanks, N-Naruto-kun."

And so there they sat, together, hands loosely linked beneath the table, and finished their ramen.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Naruto didn't knock or ring the bell when he went over Sasuke's house.

The term 'mi casa, tu casa' was literal when it came to them; and Suigetsu. And Kiba. Okay, _none _of them knocked when they went over each other's house. According to those icons on the internet, it's the sign of being veryveryvery close friends. And given that he'd known Sasuke from the grade-school days as with Kiba... And, basically they'd known each other for so long... It was a damn fact about their bonds.

Which is why Naruto just barged into Sasuke's house and shouted, "I'M HOME."

He walked straight to the kitchen, where Mikoto was cooking, and gave her a hug. "Hi, Mikoto-kaa, how are you?"

"Oh, Naruto-kun! I was wondering where you were - all the boys are already here!"

Nodding, Naruto excused himself and went to Sasuke's room where the other idiots littered the place. "Yo," he said, nodding at them.

"Did she mention if the food's ready?" Suigetsu asked in a drawl.

Naruto blinked, "Nope."

"Damn... I'm _starving_."

From his perch on the armchair, Sasuke snorted, "When _aren't _you?"

"Fuck you."

"My ass."

Naruto grinned and dumped himself next to Neji. "Save it for the room, kiddies."

* * *

Kiba gunned the beer in his fist, and snorted.

What the hell, how were these people even his friends?

"I'm going to see if your mom has finished supper," Kiba told Sasuke, and forced himself off of Sasuke's couch. He slipped out of the room, and headed downstairs. There was almost _always_ food in Sasuke's house; Mikoto consistenly cooked to feed an army - not that that was a surprise, given that she fed anywhere from three to eight men on any given day.

Kiba's stomach grumbled, and he went straight towards the kitchen.

When he got there, however, he found something he had not expected.

Mikoto was nowhere to be found, and Sai stood in the kitchen, wearing a black coat, and pulling off his gloves, finger by finger. The dark-haired almost-Sasuke-clone looked up, and gave Kiba an impassive stare.

"I need to speak to Sasuke," he said quietly.

Kiba blinked.

What. The. Fuck.

"_Now_," Sai intoned.

Kiba just blinked at him again, and then dashed upstairs. He stood in the doorframe, eyes wild, and he practically grabbed Sasuke by the collar of his shirt, and hauled him out of the room. "Your fucking cousin is here! Why is your cousin here?"

"...Which one?" Sasuke asked.

Kiba rolled his eyes. "Oh, it's the hot one that I normally hit on, and _that_'s why I'm up here. _Sai_, you goddamn idiot."

"...Your sarcasm is annoying."

"He wants to talk to you. Don't ask me why. He looked pretty - dude, I dunno. He looked weirded out."

Sasuke shot Kiba a Glare Of Death. "Fuck no. I'm not going to be alone with him."

Kiba almost hissed, and tried to ignore the image that had just popped up in his head - it consisted of both he and Sasuke in old lady dresses, arguing over a dead cat. Or something. Yeah. "I'll wait outside the kitchen. Just go fucking talk to him!"

Sasuke looked just as pissed as Kiba felt. "_Hell_ no. Fuck that, I'm going... Somewhere else."

Kiba's eyeball twitched, and he had an urge to push Sasuke (and the horrible image of Sasuke in a granny dress) down the stairs. "Stop being a chick, and talk to him. he's not into you, you're his _cousin_!"

"It's not that, you idiot! You and I both know leaving me and Sai alone is _chaos_. I'll kill him."

"It's not that bad. As long as you don't break his nose or something. Just - _fuck_. _Go_."

Sasuke's did not look happy. "God, when did you become my mother?"

"Dude, don't even start. You _know_ how your mom is," Kiba said, voice flat.

Sasuke just stared at him. "Mutt, go suck on a dick."

It startled a laugh of Kiba, and it was all he could do to follow Sasuke down the stairs, laughing the whole way.

* * *

Sasuke disliked his cousin.

It's a known fact.

It's set in stone.

He disliked him - they were like water and oil; didn't mix. At all. Leaving them alone together usually ended up with one of them bleeding - most of the time Sai, because Sai was too afraid of breaking a nail if he hit Sasuke. And Sasuke... Well... When Sasuke's angry, he's angry, you know?

Glaring daggers at anything in his way, he entered the kitchen.

"What," he spat.

He scanned his idiotic cousin and crinkled his nose. God, the sight of him made him want to just... kick him or something. Of course, don't think any of Sasuke's animosity towards his cousin had anything to do with his sexual orientation (as is the latest reason to dislike people nowadays), it's been ancient history. Sasuke was not Sasuke if he did not dislike Sai.

"Don't look at me like that, Sasuke."

"Fuck that," Sasuke sneered, "What do you want."

Surprisingly, Sai was not inspecting his nails like he normally was. Instead, he was staring at Sasuke with a blank look - or, a forced blank look. Sasuke didn't like it and he was about to demand that he stop weirding him out... That was before Sai sighed and shifted his weight from one leg to the other, hand on his hip.

"...Well, cousin of mine, we need to talk."

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**les**: omfg. nooooooooo. nooooooooo. i'm going to fricken die. or something relatively close. someone hold me.  
**Saraa**: SO THE SHIT HITS THE FAN NEXT CHAPTER. we've been talking about it for ages, and we're finally getting around to getting it out. ...more fuck-age, shit.  
**sonya**: &&& spencer reid from criminal minds is adorkable. too bad boys suck. for my fellow americans, have a happy 4th!


	27. how to try to save dying gutterflowers

BAHAHAHAHA.  
**disclaimer**: this will suffice.  
**dedication**: to coffee, webcams, and looking crappy at 3 AM.  
**notes**: NO. I REFUSE.

**the chronicles of les: ***shoots sai*  
**Saraa in the background**: i hate _everything_.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

_Well_, Sai thought.

_This_ was going to be an interesting conversation.

Sai stared at his stupid, ridiculous, _idiotic_ cousin. How did Sasuke - normally marginally intelligent Sasuke- end up with _Sakura_?

It wasn't that Sai was jealous (_bitch, please_. Just _please_); it was more like he was a little sad, and a little worried. Sakura was a nice girl, and Sasuke was - well, he was _Sasuke_. There were simply no words for the kind of idiocy that preceded Sasuke's involvement with girls.

Especially girls like Sakura.

What it _was_, was that Sai was worried about them both. Sasuke (despite being both an idiot and a neanderthal) was his cousin, and Sai _did_, in fact, care about him as such. Sakura (it was really such a pity she was a girl - Sai just wasn't _in_ to girls) was naive and sweet, and didn't deserve what Sasuke would likely put her through.

What it _was_, was that he _cared_ about the both of them.

Sai sighed.

Sasuke look pretty pissed.

Now, how to _verbalize_ that worry?

"You _do_ realize that you're just a rebound, correct?"

(As Sakura would say: Open mouth, insert foot. Good job, Sai, _good job_.)

* * *

Sasuke was one of the few of the Uchiha family that had an awful temper that regularly showed itself - the one that could not control said temper, the one that reacted upon it almost instantly. Here, though, in front of his stupid fucking gay cousin, Sasuke was trying to calm his nerves, keep a straight face and not kill him. Because no matter how much they disliked each other, they were family.

So Sasuke stared at him, expression dry and impassive and bared his teeth as he sneered.

"What the hell do _you _know," he hissed. "Just because you go after men as well, does not mean you know shit."

Sai's unperturbed smirk only fueled Sasuke in the need to kick his ass.

But still Sasuke stood his ground.

* * *

"Sasuke, honey," said Sai, while inspecting his perfectly-manicured nails. Really, coming out was passably the best thing he could have done ("Come out of the closet! Then you'll have more room for fabulous clothes!"). He tossed his gaze carelessly towards his cousin. Sasuke was standing there, rigid, and trying (and beginning to fail) to keep his cool.

"I dated Sakura for _nine months_. No girl comes off a relationship that long, and goes straight into something else that is even _remotely_ long-term."

Sai passively watched a vein begin to throb in Sasuke's neck.

"Especially girls like Sakura. You are kidding yourself."

* * *

In the human body, there are times at which it starts _trembling _from how utterly pissed someone can grow. It's like the body's way of informing that they want to be unleashed. Like the body's muscles twitching, from so much strain.

Sasuke's hands were shaking. Actually, his whole body was, but his hands were the most noticeable.

It had been said, by his family, that when Sasuke got completely enraged, his dark eyes - with natural sparks of red here and there, you have to look closely for those, tho' - his eyes would turn fiercer... Kinda scary, his mother had said.

Sasuke wondered if he looked like that right now.

But he only wondered for a second before he lunged at Sai, a fist in the air that, as soon as he was close enough, made contact with his cousin's jaw. They toppled over, Sasuke pinning Sai to the ground, fists flying as they each made their mark. His eye, his jaw, his lip, his cheek. Everywhere.

Sasuke had been having an urge to punch Sai in the face.

That urge was being satisfied.

* * *

Kiba was lounging just outside the kitchen doors, head tuned out.

And then he noted the commotion and the noise, just on the other side of door he was guarding. It seemed strangely violent, and Kiba had a feeling that he was probably _really_ going to regret looking at whatever the hell it was. He poked his head inside the door, and literally could only blink for a split second.

Sasuke was pounding Sai's lights out.

Christ.

(He should have been expecting something like this - this was _Sai_ and _Sasuke_, _alone_ in _one room_. That was always a recipe for diaster. _Always_.)

Kiba moved a little too fast to be considered completely normal. He slammed into Sasuke, and knocked his stupid friend off his stupid friend's stupid cousin. He pinned Sasuke to the floor, and snarled "Dude, what the _fuck_ are you _doing_? You're gonna fucking _kill_ him, you _douchebag_!"

* * *

Sasuke was still shaking with utter rage, trying to fight Kiba off of him. His eyes were still on Sai's bruising, bloodying face - Sasuke wanted him dead.

"Get the fuck off me, Kiba," he said, almost out of breath. His breathing was ragged, hard, erratic. He pushed Kiba off of him - or, well, he tried; Kiba was the type of person that, when he was intent on doing/stopping something, he made sure it was done/stopped. This was one of those things, Sasuke guessed in the back of his mind.

"Dude, for fuck's sake, Sasuke, calm down!"

But his friend's words were going through deaf ears.

* * *

Kiba growled - Sasuke was ignoring him, and that was never a good sign. Also, Kiba had just heard his actual name pass his old friend's lips, and _that_ was a sign even _worse_ then when Sasuke was ignoring something. Sasuke so rarely called people by their names that this was entirely a scary thing.

"Calm the _fuck_ down. You're making an ass of yourself," Kiba hissed, and let his body go dead-weight. There was _no_ fucking way he was going to let go of Sasuke, not in this shape.

He shot a glare at Sai, and said "Dude, get the hell out of here, he's gonna kill ya', if ya' don't."

Sai was meticulously wiping the blood off his face. He stared at Kiba for a split-second, and the pushed himself off the floor.

"I'll just let myself out, shall I?" he stated, his voice perfectly monotone.

Then he was gone, and Kiba waited to hear the slamming of the front door before he released Sasuke.

"Dude, what the _FUCK_?"

* * *

Sasuke was up a second later and making his way for the door... He was promptly on the ground, on his stomach. With Kiba on top of him. Sasuke's breathing became shallow as he willed himself to calm down - he had to, or then he was going to unleash his anger on Kiba, and Kiba was a more important person to Sasuke than Sai would _ever _be.

So he closed his eyes, counted to ten about five times and then snapped them open.

"-And next thing I know, you're going apeshit on your _cousin_! Dude, what the fuck are you _smoking?_"

Sasuke had missed the first half of the rant. But now that he was... somewhat... calm, he caught on.

"Get off me, Mutt."

At the nickname that was used more often than the real name, Kiba deemed it alright to let Sasuke loose.

Sasuke stood up and fixed his t-shirt (With the Blink 182 logo... A gift from Kiba himself. The idiot) and pulled his black skinnies so that they were back just shy from his hips instead of... almost off. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed long and hard.

"Fuck."

* * *

Kiba just shook his head. "Dude, I don't get you. I just - fuck, what - I AM SO FUCKING CONFUSED, RIGHT NOW."

Sasuke just shot him a Look Of Death, and Kiba's quiet muttering subsided. He grabbed the collar of Sasuke's shirt, and dragged him back upstairs. Kiba shoved him back towards his room, and said "I'm going to get you a beer. I swear to Naruto's goddamn fucking ramen, if you pull any more stupid shit, I am going to let Hana beat your ass."

Kiba got another evil look sent his way, even as he shut Sasuke up in the room with the other guys.

He sighed, and headed back downstairs, checking behind him every so often, to make sure that Sasuke didn't do something stupid; like, oh, go running off after Sai or something, to beat the kid into the ground some more.

Kiba had a feeling that whatever the hell that had been about, it had to do with Sakura. Sasuke only ever got that way about her; no one else (excusing Sasuke's mother) brought out a reaction even _close_ to that, in the stupid douche.

Fuck. Just fuck.

* * *

Naruto and Suigetsu paused their game (Super Smash Brothers: Melee. On the Wii. Oh. Yeah.) and stared at Sasuke.

They had been best friends for a _long _time, Naruto and Sasuke. So it was easier for Naruto to realize something was completely up with Sasuke (though, Sui was a second behind to the revelation). The blond stood up, a frown on his lips. "What the hell happened? Who's ass do we need to jump?"

"It was your stupid cousin, wasn't it?" Suigetsu summed up.

At that, Naruto's eyes grew wide. "WHAT DID THAT LITTLE FAG DO? DO WE NEED TO JUMP HIM? I'M DOWN, IF WE DO!"

Rolling his eyes, Suigetsu smacked the blond before returning his attention back to Sasuke. He was stiff, quiet, and though he was back to looking impassive - they knew that inside, Sasuke was running through the many ways he could kill his cousin.

"Dude," Suigetsu said, "Just calm down. He's an ass, we all know that. Fuck him - he's just trippin' balls 'coz you scored a hot babe like Sakura."

They watched as Sasuke grew stiff...er. He grew absolutely _rigid_.

"Oh shit," they breathed out in sync.

Ignoring them both, Sasuke threw himself on his bed, stuffing his head under one of the many pillows.

Suigetsu and Naruto stared at each other before going back to their fight. Knowing Sasuke, he was trying hard to calm down which is why he went all hermit. He'd come back out just as soon as he cooled down.

...But they figured that something was going to go _bad _soon.

* * *

Kiba stomped back up the stairs, dragging a twelve-pack of Itachi's crappy-ass Coors Light (what the fuck, did people actually _seriously_ drink that shit?) up the stairs.

He shoved the door open, and found a very awkward atmosphere. Neji was sitting in the corner, staring at the ground. Suigetsu was blinking like someone had pounded him over the head with a blunt object. Naruto was _pacing_.

And Sasuke was lying on the bed, half of his head stuck under a pillow.

...

Seriously, what the fuck.

Kiba picked up one of the crappy beers (seriously. Who the _hell_ drinks Coors Light?). It was faintly heavy - definitely more then enough to do some actual damage.

Clearly, that was what Sasuke needed.

So Kiba threw the full can of beer. He thanked his football practice - it gave him the aim he needed to actually hit the unprotected-by-pillow-part of Sasuke's head. Kiba just grinned and shrugged when the three guys in the room shot him somewhat fearful glances.

Kiba wasn't scared of Sasuke.

Seriously. "Dude, stop being a pussy. You're practically dating Suka - or whatever the hell her name is. Stop fuckin' moping, it's lame. Just call her, or something."

Part of Kiba was about to commit suicide, but, eh. Could be worse.

* * *

Sasuke snarled and sat back up, grabbing the can of beer and setting it on the nightstand.

"I'm _not _going to fuckin' call her," he hissed through his teeth. "That bitch can go to hell."

Naruto, who (along with Suigetsu) stopped the game because they could not concentrate, stopped pacing and flailed a manly flail. "DON'T CALL SAKURA-CHAN A BITCH! ... WAIT. WHAT DID SHE DO?"

Suigetsu rolled his eyes again and threw his empty beer can at Naruto; which successfully worked into shutting him up. Everyone's attention was on Sasuke, waiting for him to explain why Sakura was now a bitch and why he was not going to call her and why he was so pissed. But Sasuke just continued to glare at the wall.

"WELL," Naruto screeched. "Explain to us what the hell is going on!"

Sasuke hated showing any sort of weakness. And this was one of the few he had. And he was not ready to tell them how she just fucking _used _him and he just _went _with it. How stupid could he have _been_? He should have _known_. Should of. This is why Sasuke was not interested in dating or anything like that. Because there were bitches like Sakura that took pleasure in hurting people just because they were hurt once.

His fists clenched at his sides and he snatched the beer can, opening it and drinking out of it.

"Sasuke," Naruto yelled, losing his patience.

He turned to look at his friends; Suigetsu had twisted his torso so that he could watch him from over his shoulder, Naruto had quit pacing in the middle of the room, hands dug into his skinnies pocket, Neji was peering up at him through the shorter strands of dark hair, and Kiba had his arms crossed and was staring as well, an open beer in his hand.

Sasuke growled, "It's nothing. It doesn't matter. I don't want to talk about it."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "Spill it out, Sasuke, or I'll beat it out of you."

Sasuke was not scared of Naruto - but with the anger he was trying to suppress... Sasuke sighed and mumbled out his reply.

* * *

Kiba choked on his beer. "What the _fuck_, your girlfriend dated your _gay cousin_ for _nine fucking months_?"

The room was quiet for a moment as the four other men processed this fact.

Kiba really had no words.

Well.

No words other then "Dude. Your life _blows_."

Then he grinned, and dashed to hide behind someone who would stop Sasuke from killing him - like Naruto.

* * *

"She's _not _my girlfriend," Sasuke glared at Kiba.

Suigetsu was in utter shock and Naruto? Naruto decided that everything he had planned for just backfired with this new revelation. God, how he hated snooty little cousins like Sai. He just KILLED ALL HIS FUCKING WORK. IT WAS GOING FINE FOR THE PAST MONTHS. WHAT THE FUCK.

Naruto watched as Sasuke ran a hand through his hair and stand up... and grabbed his car-keys.

"I'm going out," he muttered.

Kiba popped his head from over Naruto's shoulder (he had been using Naruto's broad back as a shield) and narrowed his eyes. "Okay, where are we going? 'Coz I'm not going to let you go alone, dude."

Naruto nodded, "I'm not either."

Neji grunted his agreement and Suigetsu nodded - though his pale complexion grew a tad bit green.

Sasuke didn't answer them as he walked out of his room, down the hallway down the stairs and out the door. They trailed him, all weary faced because when Sasuke emos it out... it was bad. Seriously.

They hopped in (Naruto, Suigetsu and Neji in the back seats, Kiba got shot gun; Kiba _always_ got shot gun, that lucky fucker) into Sasuke's black Camaro and next thing the new, they were practically _flying_.

* * *

Kiba anchored himself against the seat and the car door, and made sure his stupid seatbelt was buckled properly. There was a _reason_ most people hated Sasuke's driving - and that was because it was dangerous and god damn fucking creepy-scary.

He really had no freakin' idea where they were headed, but it was definitely somewhere that was far, far away.

Sasuke needed time to calm down, and the best way to do that was to drive - Kiba knew that well enough.

So he just gripped the door handle a little tighter, and hoped that whatever the hell it was that was eating Sasuke would shut the fuck up and go away, and _soon_.

* * *

Sasuke had no idea where he was driving them all, but by the looks of it, it looked like it was Oto. He was fine with Oto - Oto State had been his second choice, right after Konoha Uni. Oto... Sasuke liked Oto.

His hand were gripping the steering wheel, knuckles white - even the one on the clutch was as white as a ghost. He was so pissed - so damn pissed. And he only grew more pissed at the knowledge that, yes in fact, this was affecting him _like crazy_.

He sped off, going faster - he had been going at 85 mph, now he was close to 120. Good thing it was close to eight and the traffic at the freeway was close to nonexistent. His nostrils flared, his jaw tensed; Sasuke hated it all.

Fuck.

This was so fucking stupid.

"Oto," Sui muttered to Naruto.

From his peripheral vision, he caught Kiba fumbling to make sure he was protected. He said nothing, though - none of them did. They just went with the ride... and for some reason, Sasuke was thankful for it.

His speed picked up.

* * *

They ended up at another freakin' bar. What was normally (and legally) a forty-five minute drive had taken Sasuke a quarter of an hour.

Seriously, freakin' scary, man.

Kiba figured he better not get drunk - Neji looked like he needed a drink, to calm his nerves, or something, and there was no way in hell Suigetsu _or_ Naruto was staying sober. And Sasuke was out of the fucking question.

So Kiba groaned, and muttered "I'll be DD."

Naruto beamed, Sasuke shot him a grateful glance, Suigetsu smirked, and Neji nodded rigidly. Clearly, they all had issues. Kiba was obviously the only one who had any sense of normalcy left. Obviously.

Kiba didn't mention that he claimed any and all blackmail that came out of this trip - that was obviously a given. Duh.

* * *

Close to thirty minutes after their arrival to the bar, Sasuke, Suigetsu, Neji and Naruto were drunk.

Sasuke had ten shots, two glasses of rum and coke, a dose of peppermint schnapps, a bloody mary and then he was back to shots. It was a _damn _miracle he hadn't gotten alcohol poisoning, but that was _not _something he gave a shit about at the moment. His glassy eyes stared at the bar table, one of his hands cradling the new shot-glass. Next to him, Naruto was grinning at his rum, next to _him_, Suigetsu had just thrown his head back and drank every last drop of his drink and Neji was swirling his own glass before taking a swig.

"So... Like... Te-... Teme," Naruto slurred, "Wassda issue with Sa...Sakura-chan?"

Smirking lazily, Sasuke turned to his best friend and slung an arm around his shoulders. "Dobe...lemme tell y'bout Kin."

"Who?"

"Kin."

"Who?"

"...Kin."

"Oh.. Who?"

"I'll slap you." Sasuke rolled his eyes and let his smirk come back to his lips, "Y'member her... don'cha? The chick th't gra'ted befo' us?"

"Wasn't she... She had black eyes, right?" Suigetsu inquired, pursing his lips at the bitter taste of his new drink - it was stronger than the last.

Sasuke nodded his head slowly, "Mhmm. Well... She was-"

"YOUR GIRLFRIEND?"

Sasuke smacked Naruto before nursing his ear, "No, ya idiot. She was... She was... a fling."

"Dude, so you ain't a _virgin_," Suigetsu said incredulously before going blank-faced, "Wait... I knew that already."

"No, I'm _not _a virgin," Sasuke said hotly. He drank up his shot in one go, and made for the bartender to give him another one. "'Member how I'd... I'd leave right afta' practice? Or how so'times I disappeared durin' lunch?"

Naruto snickered, "Teme you wil' dog!"

Suigetsu grinned, leaning his torso on the bar table to get a view of Sasuke, "Dude... so ya banged her?"

"Yeah."

"...Was she good?"

"Yeah."

"Nice."

* * *

There were very few things Kiba could do right then that were morally "right".

He could get pissed drunk, and then forget this episode ever happened.

Or, he could continue to do what he was doing.

Which was periodically snorting, and taping this whole conversation. Now, there was _no way in hell_ that Sasuke was getting away with saying he wasn't as much of a slut as the rest of them (excusing Neji and his lame purity-ring -ness) were.

Kiba just snorted again, and turned up the volume.

* * *

"So," Naruto began again, "Wha'bout Sak'-chan?"

Sasuke's smirk disappeared, and his mood went down all together (he had previously been talking to Suigetsu about girls; something about asses, and tits and whatever), and he tossed back his refilled shot-glass, requesting another one.

"What _about _her?" he asked, his new mood making his slur disappear.

"Like... Yeah."

Sasuke shrugged, furrowing his brow, "I was just a rebound."

"_WHAT_?" Suigetsu and Naruto exclaimed.

He nodded his head and took his shot, "Yup. Jus' a rebound." He shook his head, smirking sarcastically as he stared at the empty glass, "Fuckin' ironic, too."

They all grew quiet then - well, Suigetsu and Naruto did, Neji was listening, but kept quiet the whole time and Kiba... was being Kiba. Sasuke took a deep breath, nodded his head at the bartender that handed him another glass.

"I'm fuckin' stupid," he finally concluded.

"Wah? Why?"

"'Coz I actually _fell _for her," Sasuke shook his head, a look of pure disgust on his face, "And I was just a _rebound_."

* * *

Kiba blinked.

Wait a minute.

What the fuck was Sasuke talking about? The last time Kiba had checked, Ino had said something about Sakura (that _was_ her name, right? Sayuri? Suka? Sakura? Wha?) actually _liking_ the person she was dating - and if that person was Sasuke...

Then what the fuck was he going on about?

Kiba was utterly confused.

But he kept recording.

Just in case.

* * *

Naruto blinked his eyes - what. What the hell was goin' on here?

"Wah, I... She... rebound?"

Sasuke nodded.

"She... wouldn't," Naruto was getting a headache. Something about fixing her up with Sasuke, something about Hinata saying Sakura liked him, something-something-something. It didn't add up. "Wait... She dated Sai for nine months, you said... Then you came along... Then Sai came out of the closet... Oh."

Sasuke nodded again.

"_Oh_."

Suigetsu blinked and with a grin looked around, "I'm kin'a lost."

"He means she was using him," Neji muttered.

Blinking again, Suigetsu raised his eyebrows, "Whoa. Dude. That's _so_ mean of her."

Sasuke nodded.

"So," Naruto said, eyes closed because his head was pounding. "You fell for her - buh' she used you as a rebound. To get over your _gay cousin_."

"Yes," Sasuke said, losing his patience.

"Dude. That _sucks_."

Sasuke shrugged again, "I'on't care... I think..."

* * *

There was literally nothing more Kiba could do then snort. He had such lame-ass friends. Naruto kept shooting back jagger bombs - Kiba just shook his head. Seriously, he hoped to fucking god these idiots knew what they were getting themselves into...

Now.

The question was.

Where would he end up bringing each of said friends? Kiba knew he'd probably drop Suigetsu off at his own place - Karin would be there, from what Kiba remembered (what, did you think he was gonna leave Suigetsu alone, _this_ shitfaced? _Hell no_! He might, like, actually _die,_ or something!), and that would be enough. He'd drop Naruto, obviously, off at Naruto's own place, and the blond would be fine; he took to alcohol like a fish to water. Neji would be dropped at the Hyuuga compound and left to die.

And Sasuke? Sasuke would probably end up passing out at Kiba's house.

Because Kiba didn't want him going home in what was clearly a not sober condition. Mikoto would never let either of them live it down.

So Kiba sighed, and said "Haul ass, guys. Let's go, none of you'll remember this in the morning, anyways."

He practically had to drag a singing Naruto out of the bar (the bouncers were more then willing to help), but the rest of the idiots came quietly. Sasuke was swaying - _wow_, that was going to be one _hellish_ hang-over.

"Gimme your phones, all of you, I don't want you drunk dialing the cops, or something," Kiba muttered at them as he shoved them all into his car.

* * *

It took Sasuke a moment to realize that they were already driving - he could of sworn he was walking... Huh. How utterly funny that was. He snorted and shook his head - only that ended up giving him a head rush that made him grab his head and pull his hair. He groaned and leaned his head back against the seat.

In the back, Suigetsu was grinning like a dork, blinking his glassy eyes and trying hard to make sure there was one of everything and not a dozen (a dozen Kibas and a dozen Sasukes was _not _a good thing. And he didn't even want to get started about a dozen Narutos). But, like, why was everything moving so fast? The world needed to, like, cool down - take a chill pill and take it slowwwww.

"Stop-"

"YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE FOR ME," Naruto sang before he was smacked by a grumbling Neji.

Sasuke stared at the car and smirked, giving (this time a slow) nod. "Nice car."

Kiba only snorted and shook his head.

The rest of the drive home (forty-five _minutes_, dammit) was no different - Naruto singing, Suigetsu blinking-grinning, Neji grumbling-smacking-Naruto and Sasuke smirking. It was almost a miracle that they weren't being loud; or better yet, that none of them were throwing up.

Sasuke would hunt them down once he was sober, if they did that.

But by the time they were in Konoha, Suigetsu had fallen asleep - Naruto still singing, Neji half-sleeping and Sasuke still staring around as if this was his first time in Konoha. Their (more like _Kiba's_) first stop was at the Hyuuga's, where Neji was quick to get out, muttering his good-bye ("asdfgf-see ya") before stepping inside his home. After him, came Naruto who had bounced right out of the car, singing/slurring "Wannabe" as he walked up his walkway. Kiba didn't drive off until the idiot got inside; the blond had stopped to dance on his porch.

Then, it was at Suigetsu's, where Kiba had to assist the youngest of the group up the walkway and up the porch. Suigetsu had _no _idea where his keys went. Kiba had to ring the bell until a disgruntled Karin (glaredglaredglared) yanked the door open. Then she started screeching some things Kiba didn't even bother to pay attention to. He just handed Suigetsu to her, smacked the fair-haired teen on the back and ran back to the car.

Now, it was only Kiba and Sasuke.

Sasuke was quietly humming the Mission Impossible theme song, fidgeting his hands around as a distraction.

* * *

Kiba just stared at Sasuke.

"You... are _so_ fucking stupid, man."

He gunned the engine, and shot away from Naruto's street. Kiba let the gas pedal take him up to speed, and then about saying something along the lines of "Alright, so you're pretty fucked up over Saku-whatever-her-name-is. Seriously, dude. Just call her, or some shit. Don't forget, you _did_ hear this from Sai."

But he didn't.

The car shot past Kiba's street.

He just wanted to drive, for a while.

* * *

Sasuke may have been completely, utterly _shitfaced _- but, from spending so much time there, ever since his friendship with Kiba began, he knew that they passed Kiba's street. Sasuke didn't say anything, though. He didn't want to go to sleep yet. He wanted to stay awake.

Possibly chill - not think.

He didn't want to think.

Sasuke always knew this romance-dating-relationship _thing_ was not his thing. And _this_?

This just proved it.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, already feeling his alcohol-haze dimming down even if just a bit.

Life sucked.

* * *

Kiba liked driving the highway. Especially at night, when it was mostly empty. He and Sasuke were alike, that way.

Just before they left the city, and hit open road, Kiba hit a red light. He growled at it, and shot a glance at Sasuke in the red glow of the light. His friend looked somewhere between blissfully drunk and uncomfortably hung-over.

Kiba sighed, returned his eyes to the road, blew out his cheeks, and muttered "Look, I'll be your goddamn back-up, if you need it, okay?"

He stopped there. "At the risk of sounding gay-" here, he paused to shudder imperceptibly. "-I _will_ be around if you need me. Alright? We clear?"

* * *

Blinking slowly, that it almost seemed as if he were asleep, Sasuke turned to look at Kiba for a quick second before going back to staring out the front window. He shifted around, slumping in his seat, until his knees hit the glove compartment.

He nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." He blinked again, and decided that, you know what? The feeling - the _fact _was very much mutual. "At the risk of sounding like a fag," for some reason, Sai came into his head and automatically Sasuke grew irritated, "I'll be around, too. I'll be your back-up, too."

Yeah, he was still drunk as hell. Yeah, he was kinda sobering up a bit. Yeah, it didn't make sense.

But Sasuke still knew what he was saying.

* * *

Kiba jerked his head in what looked like a semblance of a nod.

Seriously, man-pacts were strange and hard to make (and _awkward as all hell_). But, once said awkward man-pact was made, they were pretty permamnent - rather, they were pretty hard to break, and were never crossed.

Man-pacts were pretty much sacred.

And so Kiba knew that Sasuke, King of All That Is Emo And Crappy-Ass Music, would stick around if something really was bothering him. Kiba slumped back in his seat, and hit cruise control - it was going to be a long, long night.

* * *

They were quiet for a while as the car took them wherever it was they were going. They didn't turn, didn't stop - just kept going straight. The atmosphere surrounding them was mellow - both were slouched in their seats, with Kiba driving and Sasuke in the passenger's seat.

All was calm.

"Remember," Sasuke said, with a childish smirk on his lips, "The time you broke the chair in sixth period, freshman year?"

Kiba aimed a glare at his friend, "That's because Suigetsu unscrewed it, asshole."

That didn't stop Sasuke from chuckling.

"Yeah," Kiba raised an amused eyebrow, "How 'bout the time you fell on your face in the caf?"

Sasuke stopped laughing and gave him a pointed stare. "That was not funny."

* * *

Kiba's raised eyebrow remained raised. "Oh? I think it was. Naruto didn't stop laughing for a week. And then he glued you to a chair. So don't talk, dude."

Sasuke smirked. "Yeah, well, at least I didn't fall into the spaces in between the bleachers."

Kiba glared again. "Fuck you, man, I was drunk."

The pavement was smooth and long beneath the car, and Kiba felt more at home, here, in the interior of a car he had helped design (albeit, it was still Sasuke's, but, meh, who gave a shit?), then almost anywhere else. He kind of hoped that giving Naruto / Suigetsu / Neji their phones back hadn't been a mistake.

(Well, it hadn't been last time, and honestly, there was only so much damage a single person could do.

...

Then again. This _was_ Naruto / Suigetsu / Neji he was talking about. Kiba knew for a _fact_ that Naruto could home-wreck accidentally, without even meaning to or knowing whose home he was wreaking, when he was drunk. Kiba sighed.)

The road lay before them, quiet and empty, and Kiba gripped the wheel.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

After escaping his mother's barrage of questions (honestly, what _was _that woman doing up so late? Er... early? Well... he _did _kinda fall down the stairs...), Naruto finally arrived to his room. He kicked off his orange converses, took off his jacket, his skinnies came next and then he was just in his boxers and his t-shirt.

...Bending down - slowly, because if he went too fast, he'd fall - Naruto took out his cellphone from one of the pocket's of his skinnies.

And then it hit him.

The reason why he was shitfaced, the reason why he had gone all the way to Oto along with his friends.

Almost instantly, he dialed her number.

* * *

Hinata was staring at the canvas she was working on - the light wasn't blurring the way she wanted it to blur, and the way Karin's arm was bent just looked _wrong._ Like,_ anatomically impossible_ kind of _wrong_. Hinata glared at it, and then looked back at the picture.

It was of the five of them, from last summer. She was in the middle, Sakura on her left, Tenten on her right. Karin and Ino, on the outer edges of the picture, had been holding the camera.

It was also possibly Hinata's all-time favourite picture.

Hinata stood there, and studied the canvas for another minute. Bah. This was going nowhere.

She started putting everything away; meticulously cleaning her paintbrushes, setting the canvas off the easel so that it didn't fall and ruin the carpet, capping and putting all the thick, colourful acrylic paints away, back in their desk-drawer. There, all better.

Hinata heard someone stumbling around downstairs, and rolled her eyes. Stupid Neji had just gotten home.

Honestly, Hinata didn't even _want_ to know.

"-_run, baby, run! Don't ever look back! They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance! Don't sell your heart, don't say 'We're not meant to be-'_"

And, of course, someone was calling her at 3 AM. Hinata groaned, and glared at her phone. But, the last time Hinata had checked, Check Yes Juliet had been the ringtone set to a single person... And that was Naruto. It took Hinata about half a second to realize this.

And then she dove at her phone, and clicked Talk.

"He-hello?" she breathed, not daring to hope.

* * *

"...Hi."

Naruto was smiling, even as he eased himself on the bed (dude, he had a bruise on his ass - he could just _feel _it. Stupid stairs. So inconsiderate. Like, seriously). He knew there was still a _heavy _slur in his voice - but what the hell.

_"H-hi..."_

"It's three in 'da mor'ing, Hina-chan!"

He heard her shuffle around on the other end, and he grinned. He didn't know why he was grinning, he just was. Anything that had to do with Hinata made him grin. Yeah. Okay... Why did he call her at three in the morning again? He knew he had a reason - he wouldn't just call her at three in the morning! That was _so _high school.

"OH YEAH!"

_"U-uhm-?"_

"...Oopsies."

_"Na-Naruto-kun!"_

"I'm sorry," he nodded, not realizing that she couldn't see him. "I just remembered why I called ya! It has to do with... Sasuke-teme and Sakura-chan."

_

* * *

_

Hinata... didn't really have words, right at that second.

Naruto was clearly drunk.

Oh, no, he and Neji -and in extension, the other boys- had gone out. Gone out, and obviously gotten shit-faced. Those - those _idiots_. Oh, dear god, she hoped that one of them had stayed sober, and had Designated Driver-ed (er, was that even a verb-?). She rubbed her temples, and listened to her silly crushing-on-person ramble, his voice slurred, and yet, somehow, still entirely coherent. Apparently, Naruto was one of those intelligent drunks.

Hinata sighed into the speaker of her phone, and said "What a-about Sakura and Sa-Sasuke-san?"

* * *

"Wellllll," Naruto dragged out, a fit of giggles (manly giggles, dammit) wanting to escape. But then he remembered this was no laughing matter. Kinda. "So, like. Yeah."

_"Um..."_

"Oh yeah!" Naruto snorted and smacked his forehead. Which was a stupid move; he groaned and rubbed at his aching head. "You know how we're basically trying to get them together? Yeah, well it had been working - buttttt, now Sasuke has found out that his gay cousin dated Sakura-chan for nine months and so he thinks he's just another rebound."

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other line.

_"S-Sai is Sa-Sasuke-san's... cousin?"_

"Yup! So now Sasuke thinks he's a rebound and he doesn't want anything to do with Sakura-chan."

* * *

Hinata was tempted to bang her head against the nearest wall. Oh, _god_, **_no_**. Why on _earth_ would Sasuke think something like _that_ (well, actually, Hinata could see where he was coming from perfectly. But, still. Stupid human boy)?

"Na-naruto-kun, are you o-okay?"

_"I'm fiiiiine, H'na-chan! But Sasuke-teme isn't, an' I wanna fix it?_"

Hinata bit her lip, and tucked her hair behind her ear. Gods, she had this urge to go find him, and knock him out, or something - there _had_ to be some way to take care of him, without getting caught...

"Wh-where are y-you?" she asked.

* * *

Naruto twirled a blond spike in his finger, looking up at his ceiling. God, he felt like such a school girl - it was because he was drunk, that's all. Seriously.

"Coz, y'know, Sasuke-teme's my best friend and... and... and... Well, I'm at my house. In my room. Why do you ask, my lovely senorita?"

_"I - you - **a-are you o-okay**?"_

Naruto grinned, "Well, I _did _fall down the stairs and woke m'mom up. But other than that, I... I'm lonely."

_"Okay, Na-Naruto-kun, **don't go a-anywhere**_. _I-I'm coming to f-find you, al-alright?"_

He sat up in his bed and blinked, "D'uhh. Okay-wait... OW!"

...Who put the floor there?

* * *

Hinata kept her cell at her ear, even as she wound her hair into a thick knot at the back of her head (that took talent, with one hand - Ino would be proud), and slipped out of her paint-smothered smock and shorts, and into a pair of black, comfortable, _worn-in_ (and therefore soundless when they moved) sweats, and a form-fitting red tank-top. She threw on a black hoodie over top of the tank, and she was pretty much ready to go. She grabbed a pair of sneakers and her keys, and stood at the closed door.

"Na-Naruto-kun, you have t-to promise me to be r-really, really quiet if you want to see me, o-okay?"

He giggled against her ear again, and Hinata kind of smiled. "_OKAY..., oh wait_," his voice dropped to a whisper. "_Okay."_

Hinata smiled into the receiver again, and carefully began her sneaky descent down the stairs. She had lived in the Hyuuga compound her entire life - and she knew it better then anyone else in the world did. She knew which parts of the stairs to avoid, knew which floorboards creaked. She was Hinata, and that was just what she _did_.

She carefully snuck down to the Sneak Out Window, as dubbed by Sakura. It was the only window in the house that had easy access both in and out, and Hinata had been using it to get out of the compound since the time she was twelve years old.

However, to get through said window one-handed was actually not physically possible. So, without saying anything, Hinata carefully slipped her phone into her bra, and slipped out of the window. She hoped and prayed no one heard her movement - and even once she was out, she was careful to go slowly, so as to remain undetected. Her car was parked on the road outside the compound - and it was far enough away that no one would suspect anything if they heard the roar of an engine.

As long as she was back before morning, things would be fine.

Hinata pulled her phone back out of her bra, and said "N-Naruto-kun?"

"_Heeeeeeey, Hina-chan!_"

Yup, he was definitely drunk.

Hinata sighed, and slipped into the driver's seat of her car. Well, time to get going.

* * *

"Ninety-nine bottles of milk on the wall," he hummed the next part because _hell no _did he _not _know what it was, "you take one down, pass it around. Ninety-nine bottles of milk on the wall."

He drawled out the next number, and the next, and the next.

...Then he got tired of that song. Like, seriously.

"This old man! He played one! He played knick-knack on my thumb! With a knick-knack, patty-whack, give the dog a bone! This old man came rolling home!"

Naruto giggled as he sang. He could faintly hear some weird sounds on Hinata's end, but he was too distracted to even consider them - oh! Maybe she was _flying _over here with her super saiyan powers! Oh, oh... Wait... Why had he called Hinata, again at... he checked the time, focused hard on the numbers... at three-twenty-seven in the morning?

Blinking, Naruto shrugged.

"This old man! He played two! He played knick-knack on my shoe!"

* * *

So.

He was drunk.

And singing.

Well.

_That_ was different.

Hinata bit her lip to keeep from laughing. It was really too bad no one was taping this, because it would do for some _really_ good blackmail. Hinata turned a corner, and pulled up to Naruto's house (oh, yes, she _did_ remember how to get here - and she had _yet_ to forgive Karin for leaving her there to _die_).

She slipped out, pulled her cell out of her cleavage (she had stuck it in there when he had started singing. It had made her driving much easier. Really), and spoke into the receiver. "N-Naruto-kun, I-I'm right outside y-you're house... Can I c-come in?"

* * *

Naruto ceased his singing (he had gotten to ten already!) and blinked, "Wah? But, of _course_, Hinata-chan! Of _course _you can come in!"

_"T-then you... you... should come open the d-door for me."_

It hadn't even crossed Naruto's mind, having her come _inside _through the door - weren't they pretending to be Romeo and Juliet? Wait... never mind. He stood up from the floor (where he had decided to stay at once he fell) and flailed out of his room and down the stairs - he was about to shout victory in succeeding to go down them without falling... before he fell on the very last step.

"That hurted like beeeeetch."

Groaning, he went and opened the door - his eyes brightened at the sight of Hinata standing at the door. He ended the call at the same time she did - and then he swayed his way over to her, and gave her a bone-crushing bear hug.

"Hinata-chan, I missed you so much!"

* * *

Hinata wrinkled her nose - he smelled like alcohol. It was really not an attractive scent. She needed to get him cleaned up, or he _was_ going to vomit, and it _was_ going to be nasty. Hinata had seen Neji drunk enough (he was never going to live down The Squirrel Incident), that she knew when a guy was just too plastered for his own good.

"C'mon N-Naruto-kun," she murmured, "Let's get y-you clean u-up, okay?"

She slipped her arm around him, and staggered a little. He _was_ generally a lot bigger then she was, and, with all the muscle that he was packing, he probably weighed twice as much as she did.

But Hinata managed to half-drag, half-carry him all the way to the bathroom.

"Wh-where's your mom?" she asked quietly, as she worked on wiping his face, her hands on his cheeks.

* * *

Naruto had his eyes closed and his nose crinkled as she wiped at his face. She was so adorable - gosh, Hinata always made him feel all weird. But it was a good weird, so it was okay. He liked this weird that she made him feel. Yup.

"She's probs' sleeping," he mumbled.

She hummed her answer and went to start the shower for him, Naruto blinked and looked around - this place looked like his bathroom! ... He giggled to himself at the realization that it _was _his bathroom! He all but yelped when Hinata grabbed his wrist and led him to the shower.

"Here," she murmured, "t-take a shower."

As he nodded, she left the room, giving him privacy. Naruto shrugged and took of his shirt and boxers and lunged head first at the shower. He shivered at the cool water and almost instantly he felt a whole lot better.

Almost ten minutes later, he came out of the shower (he'd brushed his teeth - had practically pulled off his morning routine in ten minutes; damn, not bad) and into his room - a towel draped around his hips.

"I feel better," he said lowly, a grin on his lips.

* * *

Hinata's face had been facing away from the bathroom door, but when she heard his voice, she instinctively turned around, and shot him a glance.

Her face went up in flames.

And she whipped back around faster then a snapping live wire. It was all Hinata could do to control the urge to turn around, and run her fingers across his skin. Okay, that urge normally was there _anyways_, but this was _totally different_. Hinata realized she practically wanted to _jump_ him on the _spot_.

(Was this what Karin felt like _all the time_, when it came to Suigetsu? That poor, _poor_ girl, Hinata thought, horrified.)

Well. Crap.

Her voice was an octave higher then usual when she managed the stuttery "U-hm, c-could you, u-uhm, p-p-put on s-some cl-clothes, o-or _something_?"

* * *

Naruto blinked, made a quick stop to get a new pair of boxers and then walked until he was in front of her. He tilted his head to the side, watching her through his damp hair and smiled childishly.

"Do I make you nervous, Hinata-chan?"

He watched her blush before she straightened up and said, without a stutter, "...No, you don't."

His grin widened and he gave a firm nod, "Good. Because if I make you nervous, you might faint."

With that, he walked back into the bathroom, and came back out with his boxers on. He went to a drawer and took out a pair of dark gray sweatpants and pulled them over his boxers. Then, he turned to look at her with a great, big grin on his face.

"Okay! I'm clean, and fresh, and maybe still a bit drunk, but that doesn't matter," he winked at her. "What do we do now?"

* * *

Hinata just gave him A Look.

"Nuh-uh," she said. "Y-you are going to bed, to sleep the a-alcohol off, a-and _I-I'm_ going home."

He shot her a very lost puppy look. Hinata's stomach clenched, as he gave her a slow, sad look.

"Nooooo, Hinata-chan," he told her, his voice low. "Stay?"

Hinata shivered a little, as that same low, raspy voice sent a thrill up her spine (backbone? Pfft, _what_ backbone?). She sighed, and relented. He looked better, but there was definitely still too much alcohol in his system. It was probably better that she stayed, at least, for a little while.

"O-okay. But o-only until you fall a-asleep. A-and then I _h-have_ to go home."

The slow, sad look turned into a slow, _predatory_ look, and Hinata gulped. Oh, dear god, he was _leering_. And _prowling_.

* * *

He had a devilish smirk on his lips (thanks to years of watching Sasuke do it, duh... Sasuke... oh, what the hell, Naruto would deal with that shit later. Seriously) as he neared her with his almighty prowling. His smirk turned all the more devilish as he pounced on her, making her lay completely on his bed while he -with a knee on either side of her body- hovered above her.

Hinata looked as surprised as she could ever be in her life.

Naruto only continued to smirk... until he lowered his head down and began to ghost his lips up and down the length of her neck.

"Hinata," he murmured, "Stay with me tonight."

Under him, she shuddered. Naruto let out a low chuckle before trailing kisses up her neck, down her jaw and then...

...He kissed her.

* * *

Hinata melted into his grip.

There was really nothing else she could do. Despite the voice in her head ("_WHAT ARE YOU DOING ARE YOU CRAZY__ WE ARE GOING TO GET KILLED **WHAT ARE YOU DOING**-_"), She _wanted_ this - wanted _him_. Hinata's breath was caught in her throat; Naruto was barely kissing her, his lips only just touching hers. She sighed softly against his mouth. He growled, nipped at her lip -softly, so, so gently-, and kept her trapped beneath him.

Hinata could taste the alcohol on his breath, mixed with a mint-fresh taste that was probably toothpaste. It tasted like - like something. Something... That Hinata really couldn't - quite - describe...

And then her brain decided to take an extended leave of absence, and Hinata didn't really think anymore.

* * *

Naruto couldn't lie, he wanted this. He wanted this _bad_.

Since he had first met her, Hinata had constantly been on his mind. Not just for sex - Naruto was _not _like that... well... he had his limits. But with Hinata on his mind, it had to do about everything; relationships, like-love-lust, the what-ifs, the what-about-the-future. Everything.

And he wanted this.

So bad.

His kiss turned just a tad more fierce - yet he was being gentle. Complete antonyms - complete opposites. Yet Naruto was managing to it all in one kiss. He nipped and sucked, growling when she'd sigh against his mouth.

Fuck, Naruto was not going to be able to stop... He knew it.

With her bottom lip in between his teeth, he pulled away from the kiss, a look of utter pain-defiance in his features.

"Fuck," he rasped out.

* * *

"Naruto-" Hinata mumbled.

He was nuzzling his way around her throat. That made it really hard to concentrate, Hinata thought. Well, harder then it had already been, she amended. He hissed, muttered a "Fuck," and then started to pull away from her.

"Wha-?"

Hinata was totally confused.

* * *

He lifted his upper body up, giving them enough space so that they were actually able to look down at their chests. He sighed, and with one of his hands supporting all his weight, he ran the other one through his still slightly damp locks.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, "I got carried away."

Naruto's eyes grew wide as he felt her wrap her arms around his neck and pull him back down to her, molding her lips against his. Naruto growled again and his control was breaking. But Hinata didn't want this, did she? She was lost in the feeling just as much as he was - and when she found her way back to herself, what would she think then?

Her lips persuading his to move against hers kinda made him stop thinking.

* * *

"No," Hinata murmured against his mouth. "Y-you didn't."

She shivered. It was so, so cold, and Naruto was warm - an equal and opposite being, an equal and opposite reaction. She snuggled into his body, unthinking, needing only to be closer to him. That was literally all that mattered to Hinata's very befuddled brain right at that moment.

Hinata hated having regrets - and she did have lots of them.

But whatever this turned into was not going to be one of them.

She knew it wouldn't be.

She liked him too much.

* * *

Naruto turned their kiss into something fiercer - something that demonstrated all the want he was feeling. The hand that was free from weight-support-duty took a hold of her hoodie's zipper. And, never breaking away from the fierce kiss, he pulled it down, down, down, down until it was fully open.

He heard her breathing pick up, and he couldn't fight back down the smirk. He did, though, pull away from the kiss and begin to trail kisses down her jaw, and then to her neck where he became rather entertained by the milky, smooth skin.

Fuck it, he decided.

What happened, happened.

And he'd be glad about it.

* * *

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.

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Extra thoughts from us:

**Saraa**: the description of Hinata sneaking out of her house is actually my whole life. WTF. also. I DON'T LIKE THE NEXT CHAPTER[s] (is it fair to say that they make me cry?).  
**sonya**: sonya thinks sasuke needs to listen to that Simon & Milo song from a million lightyears back. you know? Get A Clue? as in, that's the name of the song. hmmm, now i want an omelette.  
**les**: fifteen bucks little man, put that shit in my hand. if the money doesn't show, then you owe me, owe me, owe. MY JUNGLE LOVE. also, i died a little inside. and i'll continue to die, i know.


	28. how to wake up alone

hit me baby one more time. so, like, thanks a lot for the reviews - we do a crazy dance for each one. :)  
**disclaimer: **we don't anything, so back off, homie.  
**dedication: **to soda, and lady gaga, and hollywood undead, and music in general, and sleep and being bffla.

* * *

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* * *

Kiba was never fucking letting Sasuke get this drunk, _ever fucking again_.

Like, shit.

How the fuck was he going to explain _this_ one to Ino - or, actually, _anyone_, period? Dropping a really, really, _really_ drunk teenage-almost-adult dude off at his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend's place was probably _not_ the smartest thing Kiba had ever done, but Sasuke had been insistent.

"Just don't wake her up, okay, you douche?"

"...What the fuck am I... Uh... Doing here? This-" Sasuke paused, and squinted out into the darkness. "...This isn't my house."

Kiba rolled his eyes. "Sasuke, fuck, you asked me to drop you off here ten minutes ago."

"...Did I? What the hell... Why would I do that?"

"Dude, I don't fucking know!"

"...Oh... Well... Fuck."

"Just - fuck, I don't know. Just don't wake her up, Ino'd kill me."

"Why would I want to wake her up... Why am I even here...? What the _hell_." Sasuke looked very confused; Kiba could see the alcohol-dulled pain, and fuck, if it just didn't make him mad.

For fuck's sakes, the dude probably wasn't even going to remember this shit tomorrow; why the hell was Kiba doing this, again? "Look. Ten minutes ago, you were moaning about how you just wanted to see Sayu - Suri - whatever the hell her name is. Don't fucking tell me I drove you all the way here, for you to just fucking _forget_ that, you _asshole_."

"Hey, hey... Shhhhhh. God. I'm, like, right _here_ you moron. God."

Kiba's eye twitched. "I'm going to fucking break your neck."

"...That's highly imp-imp...you can't do that."

"Then stop your bitching, and just go fucking look at her. But if the cops show up, you are on your own."

"...How the hell am I gonna get in _there_?"

"I have no fuckin' clue."

"..."

"As creepy as this sounds, you know where she sleeps, right?"

"There's this part of my brain that's reminding me why I hate you. How the hell do you open this fucking door?"

Kiba just started laughing.

Watching Sasuke fail miserably at _anything_ was amusing, but this, on it's own, was kind of _not_. Kiba hadn't seen Sasuke this drunk in a long, long time; normally, Sasuke was an alcoholic, but this was different. This wasn't just Sasuke trying to obliterate his liver on a daily basis; this was Sasuke binge-drinking.

(And to be honest, it kind of freaked Kiba out. Seriously.)

* * *

Sasuke's mind was utterly blank.

There was this dull, dull, humming anger - pain - betrayal - lost - confusion in there, somewhere... but he just... he couldn't feel it. But it was insistent - it was _there _and he couldn't fucking figure out _why _it was there. Was it supposed to be there? Why did... God, did anyone have any more alcohol around here?

Fuck.

"Dude... Se-seriously. Open this thing up."

"Do I look like a fucking key, to you?"

Sasuke slowly turned to look at the guy in the driver's seat. "Listen Naruto-Suigetsu-Neji...Kiba... Kiba... yeah. Just open this fucking door, man."

Kiba blinked his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "Dude, I _can't_. Just be gay, and throw pebbles at the pane, or something."

"Not... You _idiot_. Are you _drunk_? I'm talking about_ this_ door." He waved at the only obstacle in his way - the car door.

"It's unlocked, you fucking idiot. Pull the handle." Kiba rolled his eyes.

"Oh. Fucking dumbass."

Sasuke then pulled the handle, just like Kiba said... But instead of pushing the door, he pulled and successfully banged his forehead against it. He grunted and shook his head... Which was a bad idea; everything was so disoriented and blurry and Sasuke was fucking confused and lost and _fuck _where _was _he?

He tried again, and this time he successfully opened the door. Now his only problem was getting out of the car. But... It's like something was holding him back in his seat.

"Your seatbelt, man," Kiba said in a tone that wasn't even sneering anymore. It's... He was seriously worried now.

Sasuke shook his head again (again, bad idea) and removed his seatbelt. "I knew that."

And once he was out of the car, and closed the door he stared at his friend for a minute before he walked away... or, well, tripped around-slash-walked.

* * *

Kiba watched Sasuke stumble across Sakura's lawn.

Okay, this wasn't fucking funny, anymore.

Sasuke didn't _stumble_. Never; not when he was drunk, not when he was high; _never_. Kiba had seen the kid walk a straight line when most people wouldn't be able to stand, period. So, frankly, the fact that he was stumbling right then was probably _not_ a good thing.

Kiba's eye twitched.

This was scary shit. He was _so_ not in the mood.

The interior of the car was quiet, and Kiba restrained the urge to bang his head against the steering wheel.

* * *

Sasuke has been to this house quite a few times. Most of them, he'd wait for that one girl with pink hair in the car. But there had been that one time where she had been late, or something, and made him come inside. Or... fuck, what the hell was he saying? He doesn't even remember anymore.

Where was he, again?

He blinked his bleary black eyes and stopped. Was it left or right?

Sasuke took a right. And he stumbled and walked and stumbled and walked and he had to lean against the wall for half of the walk before he came to a stop on a window. He peered inside and decided whoever slept there was stupid for not pulling the curtains closed. The blob on the door had a pink head.

Definitely the person he was looking for.

...Was he even looking for someone?

What the fuck, where was Sai? He wanted to kill that fucker.

So badly - he wanted to... he wanted to... God, he wanted to slam him against a wall - beat him until he was an unrecognizable bloody pulp on the ground. He's never disliked someone as much as he disliked his very own cousin - he _hated _him. So. Much.

He stopped his advances of knocking on the window and looked down at the grass. He was shaking. He was... God. Okay... okay...

Sasuke then raked his fists against the window.

* * *

Sakura had no idea what it was that woke her up.

(It may have possibly been the banging right at her window. But probably not.)

She sat up, hair everywhere, and blinked a couple of time. The banging persisted, and Sakura realized that it hadn't just been part of her dream; there was actually someone at the window._ Don't freak out don't freak out don't freak out..._

And then she realized that that someone was Sasuke.

Sakura blinked, and walked over to the window.

"Sasuke?" she whispered, after she'd pushed the floor-length window open. The gush of cold air had goosebumps rising on her arms, and Sakura shuddered as the ice-cold air stripped any vestiges of the warm comfort of sleep from her body.

"Hn."

"What are you - what are you _doing_ here?" Sakura asked, incredulous.

He shrugged. "'Dunno."

Sakura just stared at him. "...Are you okay?"

"Mhmm. Th'nk so."

Sakura continued to stare. This was not like Sasuke. This was not like Sasuke _at all_. It was kinda scary, actually, because it was just so... out of character, for him. Sasuke was quiet and stoic and - well, he was Sasuke. This mumbly, trippy, _idiot_... he was not her boyfriend.

Sakura hated drunk-Sasuke, seriously. "Are you sure? You don't look so good..."

"'M fine."

"Sasuke, you're drunk. Why are you drunk?"

"'Dunno."

"God, I just - get in here, you're going to freeze."

"M'kay."

Sakura pushed the window open all the way, and felt the perceptible drop in temperature in the room. Sasuke was shaking, and she practically had to drag him inside. She shut the window behind him, and pulled him towards her bed.

"Stupid - you are so _stupid_, what on _earth_ motivated you to do _this_?" she asked him quietly, and she carefully smoothed his hair away from his face. He looked so - so - Sakura didn't even think she had a word for it. He was hurt, that was for sure... but by what?

"Sasuke, what _happened_?" she asked again, softly, this time, and watched the emotions fly across his face.

* * *

Sasuke felt this... indescribable feeling inside of him.

There was really no explanation. So many things yet none at all. All these emotions warping into one single ugly thing and he... Sasuke had no idea how to handle any of it. His mind was still blank - it still blocked _anything_ he tried to process; there was still that hum of anger that kept growing and growing and growing as the time passed. And he was so fucking lost. Why was he feeling this way?

Why...?

Sasuke's whole body was shaking and he had no type of idea why.

He's gotten drunk off his mind before, he knew. Hell, he drank every single day - he was, out of all of the five of them, he was the best at controlling his alcohol and he'd never gotten so drunk to the point where he was... just a body wandering around without no sense of direction, motivation or emotion within him.

There was no kind of clue to explain just _what _he was going through.

So he just pulled Sakura towards him until she crashed into his chest and he held her close. So close that their bodies could have been mistaken for one. He buried his nose in her hair and he managed to mumble, "One time. Just one more."

"What are you talking about? Sasuke? One more what? Because if you're talking about alcohol, no, no more."

"Just... one."

"Sasuke, what are you_ talking_ about?" Sakura tried to pull away enough to see his face, but his hold on her... it was almost _hurtful_.

He shook his head and pulled away, taking a seat on the edge of her bed and burying his face in the palm of his hands. Just one more time. One more time. This is the last one.

* * *

"Sasuke," and Sakura's voice was very, very gentle. "What happened? I just - I don't understand. And I - I'm so - please tell me you're okay, please?"

He looked up at her, and Sakura couldn't read the look in his eyes. "I... You're pretty."

Sakura tilted her head, pink hair falling across her eyes, and she realized, right then, that she hadn't been this worried about someone in a long, long time. A weird-warm-fuzzy feeling washed through her stomach for a moment, and then she sat down next to him. "Thank you. But that's not an answer. What - what happened?"

"Nothing," he muttered, head dropping back down.

Sakura bit her lip. "Then why - Sasuke, please, just... Talk to me? Please?"

He shook his head. Sakura didn't know what to do - he just looked so _lost_, and she didn't - she didn't _understand_.

The fact that he was basically ignoring her...

That hurt.

"Then why - Sasuke, please, just... say something?"

He said absolutely nothing, and looked everywhere but her. And that hurt. Sakura fought back tears, because this was _not_ the time to be crying - but it was just that - it was that she didn't - there weren't... She took a breath.

Sakura knelt down in front of Sasuke. She didn't touch him - she had a feeling that that would only make this situation worse; even though she really had no idea what had caused the whole issue in the first place - seriously, if Naruto had done something, she was just going to beat him.

But this wasn't something Naruto had done, and Sakura knew it.

"Sasuke? Are you mad at me?"

"...No... I don't know... I don't think so..."

"Please tell me you're okay," she managed to get out. She didn't even realize that she was almost crying. "Please?"

"Can't."

"Why not?"

"Coz I'unno if I am."

"How can I make it better?"

"Dunno."

He was shaking - his whole frame was _shaking_. Sakura didn't understand, and everything hurt, and really, this was insane, but she didn't want him to _hurt_ the way he was clearly hurting. His fingers were trembling as they carefully danced along the line of her throat.

"Please smile?" she whispered. "Even a little?"

He just stared at her, some more.

Sakura smiled at him, a little weakly. They were very close together - because Sasuke seemed to be having issues with having her too far away, but at the same time, it appeared that having her this close was causing him physical pain. But Sakura didn't know what she could _do_ - she didn't know how to _help_ him. She didn't know how to make him stop feeling whatever it was that was trying to break him.

She didn't _know_.

So she smiled at him, and tipped her face up, and grazed a single kiss against his lips.

_Please be okay, Sasuke, please please please_...

* * *

He instantly froze that.

Just... froze.

And yet he still shook.

How - - that wasn't even possibly. Yet it was happening - to his body, nonetheless. Sasuke took a ragged breath and closed his eyes. It was killing him... this... this unknown thing that was going on with him; it was _killing _him. He - - why couldn't he figure out what was going on? Why couldn't he think anything without it just vanishing in his head.

His shaking hands reached up and ghosted themselves down the sharp line of her jaw.

And as he did this, that same mind that was being a total bitch kept flashing one single phrase.

The last one.

The last time.

Just one more.

And then it'd be done.

No more.

But why?

Sasuke wanted to know _why_. He growled and pulled away from her and he turned to glare at the wall and he wanted to _hit _it (where the fuck was Sai? He wanted to _kill _him.) and he just... That numbing anger was growing now. And Sasuke wished so badly it would just burst so he could unleash it and get it all over with.

He growled and muttered to himself; Sakura was absolutely quiet in front of him, and calmed. After all, it was best to just let him get through with this on his own until he was alright again.

"I..." his voice was raspy, "I - - are y'goin' to cry?"

His trembling hand reached for her cheek bone and he leaned closer; something in him hissed not to. And then he went back to wondering why something hissed at him from within him, if he was blank. How did _that _work? Why was this _happening_?

"No, I - I'm okay, Sasuke." She gave him a weird, sad smile.

"No you're not."

"Yeah, I am. But you're not."

"I'unno wah'm feel'n."

"Just - Sasuke, lay down, you need some sleep."

"Don't waaaaaant."

"I'll sleep next to you?"

Sasuke slowly shook his head. "Nooooo. Don't waaaaant."

"Then what_ do_ you want?"

"I'unno. You."

"I'm right here, Sasuke."

"I know."

And suddenly Sasuke got this... urge. And he wanted her close - because, after all, this was the last time. The one and only last time. So he should make something of it. Do something to remember it by.

He grabbed her arms and pulled her up, pulled her onto his lap and he kissed her, raw and with pure need.

* * *

"Sas-uke," Sakura gasped, and his mouth was already nipping at her throat. "Sasuke, you have to - stop."

"Don't want," he grumbled against her skin.

"Sasuke - _stop_."

He pulled back, and Sakura could sense his annoyance even through the drunken haze that she was sure he was looking through her with. "Whaaaat?"

"Tell me what happened!"

"'Bout what?"

And, frustrated, Sakura could only ask "Why are you like this? You're _never_ like this!"

"What're you talkin' 'bout?" he muttered, a sneer marring his face.

Sakura cringed, and ducked her head down. What the hell - this was uncalled for. She was only worried about him, and the fact that he was - he was - what _was_ he doing? "Why are you being so _mean_?"

"'M not."

"You _are_."

"I'm _not_."

Sakura didn't know what to do. She just wanted to cry. She just wanted to curl into a ball and cry and - _why was he being like this? What had **happened**_? "Okay," she said. "Okay, you're not." She paused, to take a watery breath, and then continued. "Why are you even here, Sasuke?"

He tilted his head. "Dunno. But I'm leavin'."

A strange sound escaped Sakura - it wasn't a giggle, and it wasn't a chuckle, and it wasn't even a sob. It was some strange mixture of the three, and she just didn't know what to do with herself. Why was this happening? "Fine! God, I'm still not worth your time, am I?"

"No, you're not," he sneered, his slur disappearing, "Because I'm here for nothing. Just wasting my time."

All the confusion disappeared. The hurt, though, magnified. Sakura just shook her head. "You're drunk. I don't even know what to do with you, you know that?"

"Is there really some'ing to do?"

Sakura slapped him, angry tears in her eyes. The sound of it echoed around the room, for a moment, before she managed to almost-screech "Snap _out_ of it! What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Does it fuckin' look like I know?" he whispered, and looked very lost.

Sakura felt her heart break.

She bit her lip, and looked up at him, her fingers taking on his shaking. So this was it, then. She could feel it - this was them breaking to bits and pieces and shatter-glass slivers, the shards of it glittering around her feet in heaps of memories.

This was going to hurt, in the morning.

Sakura looked up at him for another minute.

So this was the end.

She smiled weakly at him. "Please just kiss me and let it mean something, Sasuke."

* * *

Sasuke stared at her through the haze and the blur. Just stared at her, void of any emotion he should have been feeling but really wasn't. Not because he didn't want to, but more because he didn't know how to - normally, he wasn't this stupid when it came to his feelings... but, god, he was fucking drunk off his mind.

So he neared her, not even stumbling because his eyes was just directing him towards her and it was one route he knew he would take every single time... before. He would've taken it before. But here's a pit stop. After this he's moving again... not looking back. Just moving on.

His eyes scanned her face, her button nose, her damp cheeks, her lips, her eyebrows, her hairline, her jaw, her eyes. He stopped there and he stared at those green eyes before he dipped down and he captured her lips into a kiss that should probably mean everything, but the meaning was lost within him. Somewhere and he didn't know where that somewhere was.

Sakura's arms wrapped around his neck and his own hands cradled her face as if it were to break at any given moment. How they moved from the middle of her room to her bed, it was beyond Sasuke's drunken mind; all he could actually grasp for seconds was that he was on his back and she was straddling him.

After that, Sasuke rarely thought of anything.

.

.

.

* * *

Sakura sat on her bed, naked as a jaybird, and looked down at Sasuke.

He was passed out, drunk, and stupid. And - and-

And this was the end.

Sakura started to cry.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

When Sasuke finally stirred from the deep sleep he was in, it was already morning. He sat up and grabbed at his throbbing head and looked around.

This wasn't his room.

This wasn't his house.

He looked to the side and caught pink. Instantly a new hot, pool of unadulterated anger formed at the pit of his stomach and he was shaking in rage. But he did nothing, he grabbed his clothes and slid them on, ignoring the stench of alcohol and regret. Once he was dressed and ready he stood on Sakura's side of the bed, towering over her and looking at her with an unreadable expression.

Sasuke didn't know how long he stood there, just drinking in this image and saving it to a vault in the farthest part of his mind. And then he turned and left through the window.

No looking back. Just move forward.

This was it.

* * *

Kiba had been awake for an hour.

(Fucking sunlight.)

So he'd slept in his car, outside some girl's house, waiting for his shit-for-brains friend to stumble out of her house, looking like the king of all walk of shame's.

Why?

It would probably have been funny.

But the staggering, dark-eye-rings, messy-haired Sasuke who stumbled out of Sakuya - Sayuri - whatthefuckwashernameagain?'s house was not funny. It wasn't funny at all. Kiba sighed, and rubbed his eyes, and got out of his car. He jogged over to his friend, looped his arm around the fucking idiot's waist, and half-dragged, half-carried him back towards the car.

Sasuke was a fucking _mess_.

"Christ, you look like shit. What the hell happened?"

Sasuke's voice was icily monotone. "Nothing."

Kiba twitched. "Fuck - you - christ. Get in the car."

"No. Back the fuck up."

"Why the fuck not?" Kiba asked, incredulous. What the hell - Sasuke looked like he needed weed or alcohol or something along those lines (all of which Kiba would confiscate and keep for a later date, because Kiba had a feeling that allowing Sasuke to get his hands on any sort of lethal material right at that point was _probably_ not a good idea). Hell, he just looked like he needed to talk to someone.

"Need to walk. Need to think."

"You're going to get yourself fucking killed." Kiba told him flatly.

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah, you are, you look like you're gonna throw yourself in front of some fucking bus. What the fuck happened in there?"

Sasuke shook his head, slowly, slowly. "Nothing. Nothing important."

"Nothing important? You look like you just had your heart ripped out of your fucking chest!"

"Don't care."

"Dude, seriously... Let me drive you home."

"I don't want to go home."

"Then where the hell _do_ you want to go?"

"Don't know. Around."

Kiba stared at Sasuke for a minute. Seriously, the dude looked more horrible then Kiba had ever seen him - and that was saying something. Kiba had seen Sasuke at his lowest - at his _drunkest_ - but this was honestly something else entirely. This wasn't even a hangover-from-hell kind of bad.

This was - this was fucking _heartbreak_ bad.

And Kiba didn't know what to do.

"...Want me to come?"

"I don't care. If you want."

Kiba totally knew that was code for "Yes, stupid, because I look and sound like shit, and I don't know how to tell you that. So stop being a fucking idiot, and just... Fuck, I hate you".

(Or something.)

So he nodded, and said "Shit, you're in a bad mood. Let's go."

* * *

Sasuke's head was pounding.

He could _hear _- fuck, he could _feel _every pump his heart made; there was this deafening, sick, twisted, annoying ringing going on in his ears and he didn't think it'd be going away any time soon. Sasuke was in an _awful_ mood. There was no adjective to describe it; he felt like doing so many things and they were all bad.

Bad intentions.

Fuck, this was why he didn't really have relationships with any girl. And the one time he did... And it was his gay cousin's ex girlfriend. A low blow to his man-ego.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before he began to pat his pockets in search of any money.

"What the hell are you doing," Kiba asked.

Sasuke didn't look up at him, "Looking for money."

"Why?"

"Need some painkillers."

"Fuck no," Kiba growled.

Sasuke snapped his head up and fixed his glare on his oldest friend. "Why the fuck not? I have a fucking migraine."

"That's a lie of epic proportions, shit-for-brains."

"It's not a fucking lie, you sack of shit."

"Douche."

"Bitch."

"Wuss."

Sasuke froze for a second and glared all over again, "_What_?"

"You're a fucking _wuss_," Kiba repeated, straight-faced, quiet, strangely _honest_.

Without even thinking, Sasuke pulled his fist back and, like a bullet, he shot it forwards so it'd connect with Kiba's jaw.

* * *

Kiba hissed as pain coursed through his head. He felt like Sasuke -_douche_, seriously- had just rattled his brains, or something.

It was _not_ a pleasant feeling.

"Motherfucker, you _asshole_," Kiba all but snarled.

Sasuke was shaking. "Fuck you. You fucking _bitch_."

There were a lot of things he could say, right then, Kiba mused. Punching Sasuke back was a very, very tempting idea, but Kiba knew that Sasuke hadn't really meant to punch him; it was a guy thing. Sasuke was pissed and hurt and, fuck, Kiba actually kind of understood.

"What the fuck do you want me to say, Sasuke?" Kiba asked him quietly. It hurt to speak. Shit, Ino was going to _kill_ him.

"Nothing - don't say _anything_. _Fuck_."

Kiba just massaged his jaw, and said nothing.

* * *

There was one coherent thing going through Sasuke's head, through the throbbing and the pump-noises of his heart and that eerie beeping.

And that was: alcohol.

He needed more alcohol in his system.

His eyes slid to the quiet figure walking next to him. And he knew Kiba was _not _going to allow him to get anything - any kind of drug in his system. If he wanted anything like that, he'd have to be with Suigetsu; unlike Kiba, Suigetsu was easier to convince. Not to mention that Suigetsu knows what... this feeling is.

To an extent, he supposed.

So, with that thought, Sasuke swallowed the urge to get drunk, again, and continued to walk.

"Don't you have somewhere to be with that blond-chick?" Well, fuck, he might as well think of other things - anything but what the fuck he was going through. Fucking bastard - he hoped he broke Sai's nose, or fucking knocked a teeth out.

"Look, just because I'm dating someone doesn't mean you can fucking punch me in the face and then _leave_, douche-bag."

"That's irrelevant to my fucking question, dumbass."

"Fuck. You. No."

"Hn." He shook his head, "Why the hell did you sleep in your car, anyway?"

Kiba shrugged. "Because I didn't know whether you were coming back or not, and I'm not prickish enough to leave you on your own, dumbass."

"...Oh. Well," he coughed to try and get rid of the awkwardness in his voice, "Uh... Thanks...?"

"Fuck off."

Sasuke chuckled, "You fuck off."

"I can't believe we're friends."

"Neither can I. You're obviously a fag under all that I-must-fuck-girls."

"Low blow, dude. Low. Blow."

Sasuke smirked. "Oh? Yeah, you should ask me if I care."

"Fuck this - friends off."

"Yeah, whatever. Do you have cash? Fuck, where's my phone?" Sasuke patted his pockets once again and realized there's no bulge of his phone protruding anywhere.

"I fucking _hate_ being your goddamn wingman. Yes, I have cash. Your phone is in my car."

"Well, let's go feed my stomach, asswipe."

"I'm going to push you off a bridge," Kiba grumbled.

Sasuke's smirk soon disappeared, "Go ahead."

Kiba sighed exasperatedly, "Oh, for _fuck's sake_, you're PMS-ing more then Naruto, after someone's taken his ramen away."

"Suck my dick, Kiba," Sasuke growled.

Kiba gave him a flat, bored look. "Sixty-nine, asshole, like I'd let you top."

"Bitch please, I'm the man in this one."

"You just said "bitch please." You don't have a fucking leg to stand on."

"I learn from you, bitch. You're always on your knees."

"Only when it's for people I respect."

"Respect your daddy," Sasuke muttered.

"Who the fuck are _you_ talking about? You're _younger _then I am, there's no way you could have fucked me into existence."

"I'm going to fucking punch you back to Jingo's house, you little piece of shit."

Kiba blinked his eyes. "Who the fuck is Jingo?"

"You know... that one chick. The blind one you're always blabbing about."

"...What the fuck. My girlfriend's name is _Ino_, and she's not fucking _blind_. ...Fuck this, I'm going to fucking throttle you."

Blinking, Sasuke pushed Kiba away before he made any advance towards him, "What the - - I meant blond, dumbass."

"...Jesus Christ, how drunk _were_ you?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I don't remember."

"...I don't want to know."

"Neither do I," Sasuke said as he grew somber.

* * *

Kiba just shook his head. Seriously, what the fuck was this - Sasuke was doing that convenient forgetting thing, that he was so good at. It really ticked Kiba off, sometimes, because Sasuke was one of those annoying people that could drink and drink and drink and only forget the things that they _wanted_ to forget.

It ticked Kiba off to no end.

Christ.

"So now what?" Kiba asked.

"Dunno."

Kiba was thoroughly exasperated with Sasuke in general.

* * *

Sasuke ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"We're going to go feed me. And then I'm going home and sleeping for the rest of the day."

And in the night he was going to get drunk off his ass.

Without Kiba there.

It was a plan.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

When Sakura woke up, Sasuke wasn't next to her.

The bed was cold.

Sakura sighed, tired, and hid her head under the covers.

She wasn't going to cry.

(At least not when anyone else was around.)

* * *

Ino ran a hand through her hair as she stepped out of the dance studio. She was trying to figure out where she could make her glittering entrance at, since going home and staying alone was just icky and wrong and just not done. Karin was most probably with her new toy and Ino didn't really want to go there - the last time Ino was in the same room as Karin and one of her many toys... it hadn't been pretty.

She pursed her lips.

Maybe she could find Tenten?

Honestly, she hadn't heard from the girl since that day at Hinata's and she was growing seriously worried. But knowing Tenten the way all the girls did, she didn't want to be found, so she was not going to.

Sighing, Ino whipped out her phone and dialed Sakura's number.

* * *

_I said I was the cops and your husband's in jail. This state looks down on sodomy - and that's about the time that bitch hung up on me~_ and Sakura just about threw her phone across the room.

She was seriously going to kill Ino.

(Ino was the only one with such a ridiculous ringtone; although Karin had somehow managed to make hers The Bad Touch [Sakura didn't even want to know how she had figured _that_ one out]... still. Both were degrading. Sakura didn't even know why she was friends with them, really.)

"What do you want?" she mumbled. Her voice was croak-ish, and Sakura was pretty sure she sounded like death warmed up.

She just hoped that Ino didn't realize that it was tears that had clogged her throat, the night before, and blurred her make-up, and just - just ruined _everything_.

(She didn't even know how things had got so bad, so fast.

...

Boys were dumb. Sakura would have made a frowny face if she'd had the energy. But she didn't. She only had the energy to listen to the sound of her own heart beating, and pretend she was okay. Even that - even that took too much effort. Sakura sighed to herself.)

* * *

Ino instantly froze.

She wasn't stupid.

Far from it, actually. And she knew Sakura had _not _been sick the day before and it was _impossible _to just wake up sick with a cold and sore throat. Something was wrong.

"Alright, spill it. What's wrong?" And her voice lost all its playfulness and she was Guru-I'm-Slitting-Someone's-Throat-Aren't-I-Who-Is-It-Give-Me-The-Address Ino.

_"Nothing, Ino. Everything's peachy."_

"Come off it, Forehead. Spill it. I'm going to go buy some ice-cream - you still like strawberry?" Ino walked towards her car all the faster, blue eyes already narrowed.

_"Ino, it's seriously nothing. I'm just - I'm fine."_

"NO, SAKURA, GOD! DO YOU THINK I'M _STUPID_ OR SOMETHING? WHAT IS- IT WAS THE PRETTY BOY WASN'T IT? I'M COMING OVER RIGHT NOW."

_"No, Ino! I don't - NO COMING OVER."_

"_YES _COMING OVER, SAKURA-FOREHEAD-HARUNO."

_"NO, INO-PIG."_

"Okay, fine. I won't come. I'll just send Karin and Tenten over and not tell Hinata anything. That way you'll be at their mercy and without help."

It was quiet on the other line for a minute or two, Ino actually thought Sakura had hung up... that was before, _"...You suck. You suck. You suck **so much**."_

Her voice went soft with concern, "Okay, I suck. Ice-cream?"

Sakura felt her voice about to break. _"Yeah. Ice-cream. Strawberry cheesecake, please."_

Ino gripped her steering wheel and closed her eyes. "Anything."

* * *

Sakura snapped her phone shut.

Ugh.

She had fifteen minutes to make herself presentable. She shoved her covers off her body, and walked to her mirror.

...

Wow, that was going to take some serious magic, and probably a shower.

Or eight.

But there wasn't time. Ino -being Ino- was probably driving like a maniac, and plotting how to kill all the other shoppers that got in her way. Even though it was Monday morning, and most people wouldn't be shopping this early, anyway, Ino was just - well, Ino was crazy, at the best of times. Sakura gulped, and went to find a shirt.

Red tank top, white sweat pants, hair shoved up in a ponytail - Sakura knew that right then, she and Karin could probably have passed as twins. But she didn't want her friends to see her like this. It was just - it was wrong.

(What had ever happened to having rebounds? But no. Sakura was _not_ that kind of girl. She was the kind of girl to deal in long-term relationships, and long-term relationships _only_.

What the fuck did Sai know, really?)

Hair up, sweats, tank-top... Monday morning. School.

Kakashi was going to have a bitch-fit.

But Sakura didn't really care.

So she sighed, yet again, and bent over the sink, and spat flouride guck into the sink. This day could get worse, it really, really could. Ino could - well, Ino could do a lot of things. And Karin could do a lot of things. And Hinata could do a _lot_ of things. And Tenten could do even _more_ things.

And all those things - they were good things.

But as Sakura plastered her face with make-up, she meticulously ignored the distant cracking that was her heart.

* * *

She made it to Sakura's house in a record of nine minutes.

Ice cream, cookies, cookie _dough_, chocolate, _cake_ and all.

Hell yes, Ino was amazing. Like, didn't anyone notice by the glitter surrounding her body?

Oh, hell - enough about her. One of her best friends was in trouble and Ino did _not _joke with that! Mess with her, she was okay with it; mess with her friends and she'd give you hell. She'd make you wish you never met any of them and whimper and cower and run like a dog with its tail between its legs.

Oh, hell yeah.

She grabbed the bags and ran up the steps of Sakura's porch. Ino grabbed the knob and walked right in, slamming the door shut behind her.

"Alright! Where are you?"

* * *

"Not in here," Sakura grumbled, and waited for Ino to appear in that freakishly sudden manner that she'd mastered as of late. What the hell, since when had Ino been a ninja?

Sakura groaned to herself about nothing in particular, and flicked the channel.

Now, just to convince Ninja-Girl that she was perfectly fine.

...

But the ice-cream was definitely appreciated.

Sakura _would not cry_.

* * *

Ino stomped right into Sakura's room, the bags trailing behind her.

Blue eyes narrowed for a millisecond before they softened with utter concern. Sakura was a lot of things - but an expert at hiding her emotions, she was not. She was a mirror - see through. Anyone could tell that _something,_ big or small, was wrong with her with just one glance to her eyes.

"Oh, Sakura," she sighed, flopping down on the bed, "Stop trying so hard."

"I'm not trying hard, Ino." Sakura mumbled.

"You're right - you're _failing_ hard. C'mon, look at me."

"No."

"Sakura. Look at me."

"Ino. I can't."

"Yes, you can."

"No, I can't."

Ino sighed and inched closer to her friend. With small, smooth, gentle hands she cupped her friends cheeks and maneuvered her face until it was facing her. "Sakura, you can cry in front of me, if you'd like. I won't hold it against you."

"I'm not going to cry. I think. I - promised myself that I wouldn't. I cried last night."

She opened her arms just enough so that Sakura's smaller body could fit. "Tell me everything."

* * *

Sakura didn't want to cry.

She didn't want to think about the details of last night, either, because she knew that if she did, she'd get emotional, and it would be _messy_. And then Ino would get huffy, and go off to find Sasuke, and stick a knife through his stomach.

And Sakura - Sakura didn't want that.

Like at all.

So, she decided, the only way to explain things was very softly, and very calmly.

"Please don't interrupt me, Ino, please?"

(Sakura suddenly hated the word "please". How many times had she said it, last night? How many times? It hadn't helped any.)

"I won't," Ino told her gently.

And so Sakura took a deep breath, and summoned the facts, laid them out in her head like yards and yards of fabric, careful to keep them unrumpled. She would have no emotional attachment to them; she would tell them exactly as they had happened.

"Sasuke showed up, really, really late last night. He was really, really drunk. He was - I don't know how he was, but it wasn't good. And he wouldn't tell me what happened. And he looked - Pig, he looked _broken_."

Sakura stopped, and forced the emotions away. No, no, _no_, she was _not_ going to cry; do not cry, do not _cry_, _do not **cry**_!

"And then he kissed me, and I told him to stop, because he tasted like alcohol, and just - something happened, Ino. To him, I mean." Sakura lowered her head and her voice. "I think I hurt him - but I don't know how, and he refused to tell me anything, and I could _feel_ the - the _thing_ we had... I could feel it ending."

She stopped again, and didn't look at Ino's face.

_Breathe, Sakura, breathe._

"And then I told him to kiss me and let it mean something, and then we - slept together, and then he fell asleep, and then... he was gone when I woke up."

* * *

Ino's mind absorbed this all, eyes lowered and glued to the comforter covering Sakura's couch. Her fingers fingered the blanket, lips pressed shut - she just _listened_. And as Sakura's voice changed and the story unfolded, Ino felt her heart ache - even if the person in the problem was not her.

"Oh, Sakura," she sighed. "M-maybe it's a misunderstanding - maybe thing's can get better."

"It's not, Ino. You didn't - you didn't see his face." Sakura murmured, slowly shaking her head.

Ino bit her lip. "What... I... What could you have possibly done to him? You're the most solid person..."

"I don't know. I just - I don't know."

Sighing, Ino reached for the bags and took out the tub of ice cream. "I don't know what to say, Sakura. He doesn't look like the bad type of boyfriend - I... Wow."

* * *

Sakura laughed softly, hands folded in her lap, fingers tugging at the frayed strands of the comforter. "I don't think we were even dating, Ino."

Ino looked puzzled. "What makes you say that?"

"A lot of things." Sakura didn't even have the energy to raise her voice.

"Like?"

"Like everything."

Ino wrinkled her nose. "Be _specific_, Sakura."

And Sakura didn't know how to describe it; she felt _dirty_, felt _used_. Like he hadn't even ever cared, at all. Sakura's heart hurt in a dull, throbbing way - on anyone else, _about_ anyone else, it would be like heart-break, but this was different. This was just a soft, slow ending to something that could have been incredible.

"Just - everything, Ino-pig."

"Sakura!" Ino squawked, and Sakura almost smiled. _Almost_. "If you're going to talk - _talk_!"

But Sakura didn't really want to talk. "Was I given a _choice_?"

Ino tossed long blonde hair, and huffed. "No - god. Just. Whatever. Whatever. Go ahead and drown in your self pity and whatever. But next time, don't say anything to any of us. That's being a hypocrite."

Sakura glared, green eyes slitting. "I _didn't_, Ino! _You_ called _me_!"

"Whatever! I called to see if you wanted to hang out - what I got instead was a girl trying to hide everything and failing miserably! What was I supposed to do - let it slide? You _know_ me better than that! I will _not_ just leave my friends like that!"

Sakura sighed, and shook her head. "...I know. I know. I just - oh, god, what did I _do_, Ino? Why did he - why did he _get_ like _that_?"

"How can _I_ know if you don't _tell_ me anything? I can't help you if... God, I don't know."

Sakura dropped her head, again, and willed the tears away, _again_. _I will not cry, I am better then that_. "I don't know, either. I just - wish I did."

"Did you ever lie to him? Did you hide something? Did you fake anything? What? Didn't he say anything at all?"

Sakura could hear the desperation in Ino's voice - desperation for something, _anything_ to cling to, to make this situation better. But Sakura didn't want to make it better. She wanted to let it lie, and die softly, as it so chose.

She shook her head, again, again, even as she sort of smiled. "No, nothing like that... He was... _special_, Ino."

This may have not been her choice, but it was Sasuke's, and Sakura was going to respect that.

(It didn't matter how much it hurt.)

* * *

"He was different, wasn't he?" Ino questioned softly.

"Yeah," Sakura said quietly, "He was."

Ino opened the ice cream and dipped a finger. "I can't tell you to go try and fix it, Sakura. Because the point to a relationship is for _two _people to share something special - something intimate and beautiful. A third person is just a wheel - something just hanging there; not wanted." Ino sighed and dipped her finger again, "But I will say this: things happen for a reason. Like that quote goes... Things fall apart for something better to take it's place. And maybe it won't be with Sasuke... Maybe it'll be with someone else. But... Just hang tight. Life is a never ending battle."

"...You are _so_ cheesy, Ino. But thanks for trying." Sakura leaned into Ino, a small smile on her lips.

Ino thrusted her chin in the air. "Oh, honey. I make cheesy look _amazing_."

"Yeah, I know you do." Sakura gave a weak laugh.

Ino sighed and passed her the tub of ice cream. "Such a shame, really. He was so _pretty_."

* * *

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Shush. You _have_ your own pretty boy. Leave my ex-one alone."

That statement alone, had hurt.

Like, a lot.

Sakura hated men.

"Can we watch something silly, Ino? Like, just trashy TV? It's horrible, but..."

Ino barked a laugh. Sakura distantly thought that maybe her old friend was spending just a liiiiittle too much time with Kiba - not that Sakura ever wanted her to be unhappy, because that was out of line, and every person had a right to be happy. But especially Ino. "Oh, but of _course_! Only if I'm allowed to make fun of Paris Hilton."

Sakura gave Ino A Look. "You do that anyway."

Ino looked scandalized. "Of course! She gives blondes a bad name!"

Sakura started to laugh, and forgot how to stop.

* * *

There was a bright smile on Ino's lips as she heard Sakura's wind-chime laughter.

Sakura was _not _meant to be impassive, calm and detached. She was meant to smile and laugh and tease and... talk all that weird talk about arsenals filled with poisons and other such nonsenses. _That _was the Sakura that Ino preferred and _knew _was the _real _Sakura.

She grabbed the remote and changed the channel to something more... amazing.

Like that horrible soap she had been watching lately.

Because, like, really, it was awesome.

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Piglette  
HOOKER. WHERE ARE YOU. I AM BORED**.

**From: Piglette  
To: Candii  
BOATS AND HOES. I AM AT SAKURA'S HOUSE**.

**From: Candii  
To: Piglette  
TWO CENT WHORE. I'LL BE THERE IN TEN. WHY SAK'S? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?**

**From: Piglette  
To: Candii  
SKANK-FACE. BE HERE FASTER. AND LET HER TELL YOU. OH, AND BRING CHOCOLATE**.

****

From: Candii  
To: Piglette  
SLORE. WAIT, WHOSE ASS DO I NEED TO KICK? also: Hina+Tennie, y/n?

From: Piglette  
To: Candii  
HIV-POSITIVE SLUT, I THINK YOU HAVE AN IDEA. also: yes, yes, do the favors, coz i haven't been able to reach Tenten.

**From: Candii  
To: Piglette  
PARIS HILTON CLONE. ...dude, Hina's gonna kick his ass into the next century. weird, i haven't been able to get her, either**.

* * *

Karin frowney-faced down at her phone.

No one had been able to reach Tenten in almost a week.

That was not good.

She continued to frown, and flipped red hair over her shoulder. She was _so_ not in the mood to deal with Tenten on one of her bad days, but this was getting ridiculous; Karin hadn't seen the brunette is _almost a full week_. That was like, _blasphemy_.

**From: Candii  
To: Hina-chan, Tennie  
so i'm coming to pick you up. in like ten minutes. to take you to Sak's. something happened. idk what. if you do not respond (TENTEN WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU), i'm going to let Ino have her way with you. and no one wants that.**

"Ugh," Karin muttered, and snapped her phone shut as she quickly shot a text off to the both of them; Hinata would reply, and she-who-was-AWOL... well, if she didn't, Karin was seriously just going to let Ino attack Tenten's house, and maybe-possibly allow her to take make-up along.

(That would just _kill_ Tenten. It'd be funny.

...Karin wasn't cruel, wasn't she?)

And now, to wait.

* * *

**From: Hina-chan  
To: Candii  
I'm at - uhm, Naruto's. Come pick me up? what happened with Sakura?**

**From: Candii  
To: Hina-chan  
defs. i hate driving, but you know that. i have NO IDEA. :D**

**From: Hina-chan  
To: Candii  
I can't believe we're friends. Did Tenten get back to you?**

**From: Candii  
To: Hina-chan  
FFFFFFFFF YOU LOVE ME. also, no, she didn't. THAT BITCH. i'm about thirty seconds away from your driveway, fyi.**

**From: Hina-chan  
To: Candii  
WHY ARE YOU DRIVING AND TXTING AT THE SAME TIME? YOU'RE GOING TO GET KILLED**.

(Karin ignored that last text.)

* * *

.

* * *

Tenten owned a camcorder.

And it wasn't those ugly old school ones, either. It was one of those new kinds! Not a Flip or whatever because Flips confused her. But the point is that she had a camcorder that she had gotten as a present. From Anko herself. And stuff.

Anyway, the camcorder.

Currently, she was hiding underneath all her covers, camcorder on and facing her.

"Day... Something and Tenten still refuses to come out of her room." She looked around at the darkness, "It's a really stupid move for me to pussy out like this. But, hell, one of us has to do it! I don't understand what the hell's going on." Her voice lowered into a whisper, "I hate not knowing things. Or not understanding - same shit. But... I think it's best that I don't come out from under my covers until certain people have died and I can continue on with my plans to rule the world."

Sighing, she turned the electronic off and laid down, covers still covering her from head to toes.

Her stomach growled but, as blasphemous as it sounded, she ignored it.

Life was so boring if she didn't have a subordinate to do her bidding.

* * *

Anko stood outside Tenten's door, and listened to her adopted child mutter, voice muffled by wood and blankets. Anko set her jaw.

Enough was enough.

She took a single, claming breath.

And then, something that was very true Anko fashion happened. The pueple-haired woman slammed her foot against the door, kicked it open, stormed across the floor, and tore the covers off of Tenten. She help them aloft, just out of the brunette's reach, and stared down at Tenten, stony-faced and not about to be moved.

"Okay, kid. That's it. You've had a week of moping time. Get up."

"Neverrrr." Tenten groaned, and curled into a ball on her bed, groping for the covers. Anko promptly threw them half-way across the room.

Anko stared down at her, cold, almost bored. "Get up, Tenten, this is getting pathetic. Are you really going to let some _man_ stop you from doing what you want?"

Tente looked affronted. "Pathetic is not a word associated with Mitarashi Tenten! I am simply weak in the limbs at the moment! Man? THIS ISN'T ABOUT NO MAN. THIS IS ABOUT... stuff."

"Oh. Really. So it's not at _all_ about a boy." Anko layered the sarcasm on so thick, it would have taken an idiot not to notice it.

"Nope! It's about other things. Like, you know... Other stuff... And... Stuff."

"Might this "stuff's" name be Hyuuga Neji?"

Tenten blanched. "NO."

"So that's actually a yes, then."

"NO. IT'S A NO. DO YOU NOT HEAR THE N AND THE O." Sometimes, Tenten thought, Anko was just a _little_ too perceptive for her own good. And thus, Tenten procedded to roll of her bed, hit the floor -_thud_-, and rolled beneath the bed.

Maybe Anko would leave, if she was lucky.

...

Yeah, right.

Anko shoved the bed out of the way, and _glared_ down at Tenten's curled-up form. "TENTEN. YOU ARE BEING A COWARD. I DID NOT ADOPT A COWARD."

And then the yelling started.

"TENTEN IS NOT A COWARD. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU SPEAK OF, WOMAN WITH PURPLE HAIR."

"TENTEN IS BEING A COWARD, AND SHOULD STOP TALKING IN THIRD PERSON BECAUSE IT MAKES HER SOUND LIKE A FOOL."

"EXCUSE _ME_? YOUR WORDS ARE OFFENSIVE. GO AWAY. BEGONEEEE. GO BANG MY TEACHER SOME MORE."

The yelling stopped, and Anko started to smirk. "Did that already."

Tenten was horrified.

Anko just laughed. "Get up, Tenten, and tell me what happened, at the very least. I can't condone your skipping unless you have a reason for it."

"Nothing happened."

Anko studied her nails. "Then why haven't you been out of your room in a week?"

"I've been studying it to see how I can rearrange it."

Anko continued the meticulous study of her nails. "That's a lie and a half."

"...Ugh! Okay, okay - god... I have a problem."

Anko tilted her head. She was going to have to be a mom, sometime, and Tenten looked like she needed someone to talk to - and venting had always helped, or so Anko found (usually, there was blood and gore and violence, when Anko "vented"... but it was the thought that counted, right?) "Tell me about it?"

Tenten wrung her hands and looked ashamed. "...Well... I have, like, this... thing where... I, um... I'm, like, _scared_. Not even scared... more like _terrified_."

Anko, calm, asked "Terrified of what?"

Tenten's voice was a stage whisper. "Commitment."

"I think everyone's scared of that," Anko said, a knowing almost-smile drawn across her face. "What did Hyuuga do? Do I need to skin him?"

Tenten actually _snickered_. "It's not _what_ he did... more like _who_... Oh god."

Anko raised her right eyebrow. "So you two fucked?"

Forget being perceptive. Anko was _way_ too blunt, Tenten thought sadly. "Well, if the shoe fits..."

"And so you're scared of actually committing to - him. Why?"

Tenten huffed. "It's 'coz of... I don't know, okay? It's just an after-effect or whatever."

Anko looked deadpan. "No, something's brought this on. And an after-effect of what?"

"My dad."

The room was silent, for a moment, and Anko allowed her brain to process this new information. Yes, it had been in Tenten's file; the girl's father had left early on, and Anko had sensed that Tenten had an irrational fear of being left alone.

Anko sat down on the floor, crossed her legs, and genuinely smiled. Her voice was actually almost gentle, and she said "Sins of the father, Tenten. You're not him, he's not you. You're your own person. Don't screw up."

"Can I go back under my fortress now?"

Tenten's voice was pitiful. And that shit just didn't fly with Anko. "No. You're going to find your friends, becuase they've been annoying me for _five days_, now."

"...I have no friends. To rule the world I must work alone."

"Tenten. Out. Now."

"Maaaaaaan. This is rather offensive. At least let me find my pants."

"Pants-smants. Wear a skirt, for all I care. Just get out of the house."

"EWWWWW."

Anko's eye twitched. "Tenten. _Go_."

Tenten looked affronted, again. "Okay, god!" The brunette girl grabbed her camcorder, flicked it on, and managed a grumbly "TAKEN DOWN BY THE MAN, MAN," before turning it off.

"Get out. If I have to listen to your friend bitching about you having pulled this disappearing act _one more time_, I am going to _scream_," Anko told her succintly.

Tenten grinned, and started singing. "I'MMA DO THE THINGS THAT I WANNA DO, I AIN'T GOT A THING TO PROVE TO YOU. I EAT MY CANDY WITH THE PORK AND BEANS. EXCUSE MY MANNERS IF I MAKE A SCENE."

Anko patiently waited for Tenten to finish. She plastered a sweet, poisonous smile on her lips, and she said "Tenten, if you are not out of this house in the next thirty seconds, I am going to dump chocolate sauce all over you."

Tenten froze, and turned very, very white. And then she was moving at super-speed. "NO. ANYTHING BUT THE CHOCOLATE - IT'S SCARRING. OH MY FUCKING GOD. I'M OUT, I'M OUT. KEYS - KEYS, HERE THEY ARE."

Tenten practically _flew_ out the door.

Anko grinned. Well, that went off nicely. As for the chocolate sauce... "Oh, Kakashi...!"

* * *

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* * *

Tenten sat in the driver's seat of Anko's BMW. She stared at the camcorder she had forgotten to dump somewhere in her room, and then to her cellphone and then to the car-keys already jingling in the ignition.

She sucked on her lip-ring and tried to find a proper thing to do. She'll admit she's been avoiding her friends for a whole week and just miraculously appearing again was going to be harder than it actually sounded - they'll interrogate or something of the sort and... Tenten didn't want to talk about it.

It's bad enough that Hinata was related to the source of her problem (whom was not really her problem, but actually really was).

But... god. She didn't even know.

She'd like to say she was better and stronger than this - but Tenten was just as infamous for running and hiding as she was infamous for her slutty moments _and _her scary antics.

Sighing, Tenten flicked her camcorder on and stared at it, eyebrow raised. "I'm in The Mother's car and I cannot decide on what to do - where to go. I think Anko's right... this is borderline pathetic, if not pathetic already. Maybe... God, you all suck."

She flicked it off and grabbed her cellphone.

Going down her contacts and pressing 'talk' when red hair and black glasses filled the screen.

_"YOU BITCH. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN. IT HAD BETTER HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH LARGE AMOUNTS OF SEX, OR I'M GOING TO SMACK YOU."_

Tenten cringed and pulled the phone away from her ear for a second. "No! It did not have to do with sex - I'm like a starving woman when it comes to that. But anyway... yeah."

_"Sex-starved? Go find Neji. ANYWAY. GET YOUR ASS TO SAKURA'S. NAOW. NAOW. NAAAAOOOOWWW."_

Tenten wanted to beat Karin. Just for that stupid comment-thing. Glaring, she, once again opened her camcorder and glared at it and mouthed an 'I'm going to skin this bitch alive, wanna watch?' before flipping it closed.

"_No_, I will _not _find anyone with that name, back off... What's wrong with Sakura? Did she finally combust from all that medicine knowledge or whatever?"

_"Then stop whining. And. I'm not sure. It's - well, you have to see it for yourself, but first, you have to promise you won't slaughter anyone."_

"Fuck you, bitch," She paused from the rant she was about to give and blinked. "Slaughter? That bad? I'm going back home and getting my bat."

_"That's nice, Tenten. Yes, it's that bad. NO BAT. Sak doesn't need violence, right now."_

Tenten sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "God, I leave you all for a fucking week and you're all in chaos. Whatever I'll be there in a bit."

She hung up and turned the camcorder on one last time. "Never have friends, whoever is watching this. They're really weird and troublesome." Shutting it, she turned the engine on and gunned it all the way to Sakura's house.

* * *

Karin snapped her phone shut.

Well.

_Finally_.

So Tenten was sorted out; now she only had to work on Sakura.

...

Screw this.

She was just going to kill Sasuke, and be done with it.

Karin huffed, and drove towards Hinata's.

* * *

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extra thoughts from us:

**sonya**: LISTEN TO "SAY YOU DON'T WANT IT" BY ONE NIGHT ONLY. also, i wish i was emma watson.**  
Saraa**: THIS SHIT DOES NOT FLY, MAN. also: GO CHECK OUT ONE NIGHT ONLY. OMFG, LOVEEE. all three of us are hardcore fangirling, man.**  
les**: ...i have no damn words to explain the chaos in my brain right now. i'll head off to my emo corner.


	29. how to glue a mirror back together

a short chapter. how odd.  
**disclaimer**: not ours.  
**dedication**: to being really really really (double lazy with knobs wut) lazy. and Lady Gaga. like. really, do i even really need to say anything else? _really_?

**S****araa**:_ trust is like a mirror. you can fix it, if it's broke_.  
**les**: _but you can still see the cracks in that **motherfucker's** reflection_.

* * *

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* * *

Hinata had not been expecting her morning to be like this, really.

It was something that was, uh, a little odd.

Hinata blushed at the thought of it.

(There was also the question of home, and her family: how that _that_ morning gone? Just thinking about it made Hinata either want to faint in horror, or to start giggling like a little girl. Both were good options, at this point.)

Really.

It would have gone sort of like this:

* * *

_Hiashi **twitched**._

_His daughters had been called down for the breakfast meal twice already. His youngest child had come down, a sour look on her thirteen-year-old lips. Hiashi nodded once at Hanabi. He waited ten minutes. Twitched again._

_He gritted his teeth. "Hanabi, have you seen your sister?"_

_Hanabi stared at him. "Am I **supposed** to care where Nee-san goes?"_

_Hiashi stared at her._

_Hanabi stared right back._

_"Go get her."_

_Hanabi grumbled. "You - you are - I hope you - GAH."_

_And then Hiashi Hyuuga's youngest child did exactly what she was supposed to, and went to find her sister._

_Hiashi calmed._

_Waited three minutes._

_Hanabi came back down._

_"Well?"_

_The thirteen-year-old shrugged, a smirk twitching her lips. "Her bed wasn't slept in. Sorry, Father. I don't think she came home."_

_Hiashi **twitched**._

_And exploded._

* * *

_Ino flailed around the kitchen - her Daddy was in the shower at the moment and she was making him breakfast._

_Packed with french toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage and, and, and freshly squeezed **orange juice**. Ever since her mother left them, Ino has made sure to be a good girl and fill in both the tasks her mother abandoned and the tasks that belonged to her by default._

_So this is why she found herself cooking breakfast for her Daddy._

_"**Late night, come home. Work sucks, I know**," She flailed towards the counter, a plate filled with scrambled eggs in her hand, "**She left me roses by the stairs. Surprises let me know she cares**."_

_...Then her phone rang._

* * *

_A muscle throbbed in Hiashi's jaw, as he waited for Hinata's little blonde... **friend**... to pick up the phone._

_"**Hello**?" a voice sang at him, and Hiashi was tempted to simply shut down the call before he killed himself from the indignity of it all. Pah, as if a teenage girl would know where his daughter was, better then he did._

_"Hello, Ino."_

_"**Uh... Who is this**?"_

_"It is Hinata's father. I am calling about her whereabouts. Have you seen her at all in the last twenty-four hours?"_

* * *

_Her eyes grew the size of soccer balls as Hiashi's (that was his name, right?) voice boomed into her ears... And what he **said**._

_Hinata?_

_Gone missing?_

_Her eyes grew all the larger at the realization -Hinata's text that morning clicked into place in Ino's brain- and a wild, maniacal grin etched one her lips, "MY OTPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"_

_"...**What**?"_

_Catching her slip, she cleared her throat, "Uh, I said, she's out to peeeeeeee..."_

* * *

_Hiashi was very, very suspicious._

_She had said something that was distinctly **not** "Out to pee"._

_He narrowed his eyes. "I can not reach her on her cell phone. Why is this?"_

_He could practically hear the girl rolling her eyes, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "**She came over for a study session last night. And when we done, it was really, really late! I didn't want her going home in the dark, obviously, so she just stayed the night**!"_

_She was **avoiding the question**._

_Hiashi gritted his teeth some more._

_"Why can I not reach her **by her phone**, girl?"_

_"**The battery died, duh. Hinata's just in the bathroom, an' she'll be out in a bit. We're gonna study some more, and then going shopping. Don't worry, I'll have her home safe and sound, okay? Baaai!**"_

_And then the phone call ended._

_And Hiashi could only twitch some more._

* * *

_**From: Bombshell  
To: Hina-chan  
****be glad he called me. i got you covered. love you, kisses, use protection. baiii!**_

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* * *

_When Naruto woke up for the second time that morning, he wasn't surprised to see Hinata sleeping next to him. Actually, he decided that he could get used to this... And then he remembered her dad and Neji (the Barbie Doll, of course), and how he was dead if they ever found out he **defiled** and **deflowered** poor Hinata._

_Bah._

_She... she was **seventeen**. At this, Naruto mentally gulped._

_Bah, to the second power._

_He would live through it. Hinata was worth it._

_Groaning and sitting up, he ran a hand through his hair with one hand and rubbed the sleep out of his blue eyes with the other. It was then his stomach growled. His eyes searched for the alarm clock - it's bleary red colors screaming at him that it was already close to noon. His mother probably already left for work..._

_...He was hungry._

_Naruto's eyes focused on Hinata's still sleeping form... she was so **prettyyyyy**._

* * *

_Hinata vaguely felt herself waking up when she felt someone next to her. Her moon-pale eyes flickered to half-open, and she found herself looking up at Naruto. He was staring at her, carefully scrutinizing her features._

_"Good morning. Again," she murmured, a slow, sleepy smile on her lips._

_She yawned a little, and sat up, her hair settling comfortably down her back. Hinata shot a glance at the clock; it was almost noon, and her father was definitely going to kill her when he got his hands on her._

_Oh, god, she hoped someone had covered for her._

_Naruto was still looking at her. Hinata smiled at him again, a slight blush working it's way up to her cheeks, and flushing them out with colour. It was nothing compared to normal, but still. Hinata leaned over, and gently curled herself into his body._

_How could any one boy be this totally perfect?_

* * *

_Naruto managed to smile at her weakly, his blue eyes looking at the time again, then back at her._

_"Hi," he said, scratching his head._

_Okay, he didn't exactly know why he was feeling awkward - but he was. So he just grabbed his boxers again and slid them on before standing up and cracking his joints._

_"I... I'm gonna go," he coughed, "I'm gonna go shower..."_

_And then he stepped inside the bathroom and kicked the door shut._

* * *

_Hinata had the restrain the urge to giggle out loud. Poor, poor Naruto - he was so awkward about such strange things. She stretched like a cat, all the vertebrae in her back pop-pop-popping comfortably back into place. Hinata looked around the room - obviously a boy's room._

_Hm, where had her clothes gotten to...?_

_Hinata stood up, still wrapped in Naruto's sheets, and went about searching for her shirt._

_And then she realized that she actually didn't care that much._

_Instead, she walked over to Naruto's closet, opened the pale-wood doors, and looked through his clothes. There **had** to be a hoodie, or something, in there, that she could wear. Something blue and yellow caught her eye, and Hinata pulled it out. It was a bright blue pull-over._

_With Pikachu on it._

_This time, Hinata really couldn't contain the giggles._

_She pulled it on (it practically drowned her, falling well past mid-thigh), pushed the sleeves up to her elbows, put her hair up in a horribly lazy bun with the tie that had been on her wrist (how did **that** get there...?) and slipped out of Naruto's room._

* * *

_He couldn't believe it._

_Like, what he did - he couldn't believe it._

_Sure, he felt fucking great! And he had wanted it for a while... But Hinata was... Naruto shook his head and, with the water pounding on his back, he ran a hand through his drenched hair. Okay, maybe it was a stupid thing to worry about, since it was already done - and what's done, is **done**._

_But still._

_His brow furrowed, even as he turned the water off and reached for a towel._

_...What were the possibilities of him getting killed?_

_He grinned dryly at that._

_Had he mentioned that Hinata was really pretty and that he liked her a lot? 'Coz he did._

_Seriously._

_**THE POWER OF, UH, LOVE WILL PREVAIL**._

* * *

_Hinata walked into the kitchen, and looked around. It was a nice kitchen - clean, bright, spacious. Her stomach rumbled, and Hinata covered her mouth. She was a little bit happy that no one was around to hear that._

_She looked around, again, and headed for the fridge. She opened it, stared at the fruit, the yogurt, and the eggs, all on the top shelf. She had a feeling that she could just make whatever she wanted, and that it really wouldn't matter what she did._

_She searched until she found a pan, and some canola oil._

_And then she went about making scrambled eggs._

* * *

_Dressed in black skinnies (because, like, seriously, baggy jeans get so damn annoying with all the **fwish-fwish **as the denim rubbed against each other as he walked) and a gray thermal t-shirt (with a **hood**...this was Sasuke's... YEAH, IT WAS. He remembered now. He used it when he accidentally spilled some soda on his own shirt when he was at his house for some intense video game session... oh well. Sasuke had a **lot** of them.) and his precious beat up orange converses._

_He ran his hands through his hair, ruffling it up until it was wild and all over the place. Then, he simply walked out of his room, down the stairs and into the kitchen._

_The smell of food made his mouth water and his tummy rumble._

_"Ooooh," he moaned, coming to a stop right behind Hinata. He peered at the pan from over her shorter shoulder and grinned, "Scrambled eggs. Yum."_

* * *

_Hinata laughed softly, and used the spatula she was holding to mix the chives and the ham into the eggs. Hinata wasn't sure if Naruto would like it - but then, Hinata had been taught to always make exotic food (or at least very good tasting food), because it was one of the few vanities that the Hyuuga would allow themselves._

_She could practically **feel** Naruto drooling over the food._

_Hinata smiled, and pulled a second plate out - she was happy she'd made so much, because, honestly? She'd **known** he was going to want some. And he **was** a teenage boy. No matter **what** Neji said, he was just as much of a fatass as the rest of them._

_(Obviously.)_

_"Unh... here, Naruto-kun," she told him, and filled the second plate with the scrambled eggs. She handed it to him, filled her own plate, and then tilted her head towards the table._

_"Do you want to sit?" she asked, almost shy._

* * *

_Naruto looked down at his plate and grinned sloppily. He had **food** - no more starving for him. Honestly, it was a miracle he was still standing without some damn food (or ramen). But now that he had some... and made by the most **prettiest** girl in the world... He snickered._

_And then he looked up at Hinata and nodded, "Yeah, sure."_

_He followed her to the table, wondering why she looked so different - he couldn't fricken' pinpoint it and it was driving him nuts._

_...Did she do something with her hair and he hadn't quite noticed? Oh, god. Would she get angry if he didn't notice?_

_Blue eyes scanned her dark locks almost frantically, trying to see - but it was up in a messy bun and it looked the same..._

_...Maybe he was just being weird._

_Shrugging, he began to eat as if his life depended on it. Which it did._

_"So," he said after a while. "How ya feelin'?"_

* * *

_Hinata half-shrugged._

_"I'm... really good. Probably going to be killed when I get home, but, uhn... I guess it could be worse?"_

_She dipped a fork-full of scrambled eggs-and-chives-and-ham into the ketchup she'd found in the fridge (shut up, it was good!), and popped it into her mouth. Huh, it had actually turned out better then she'd expected it too - Hinata had been experimenting with spices, and she'd thrown in the obvious salt and pepper, along with some thyme, and half a pinch of chilly pepper._

_She looked at Naruto._

_"What do you think? Any good?" she asked, indicating the scrambled eggs Naruto was eating (like it was food to a starving man. That had to be a good thing, right?)_

* * *

_Naruto paused midway stuffing his fork-full of food into his mouth._

_Grinning shyly, he set it down and gave her a vigorous nod. "It's **more** than good. You cook amazingly Hinata-chan!"_

_His eyes scanned her again - that nagging feeling was still fricken' bugging him! So he settled to figure out what was so different about her... He liked her hood-_

_-OH._

_Naruto felt completely stupid as he realized she was wearing his Pikachu hoodie. And it looked so pretty on her - she was so pretty. Like, in all seriousness. He inwardly flailed as he continued to watch her; shaking his head and grinning, he went back to eating his breakfast._

* * *

_Hinata watched dawning comprehension in Naruto's eyes._

_She wondered when he was going to realize that she was wearing something of his. Hinata almost giggled, but didn't. Instead, she just smiled at him, and murmured a soft "Thanks, I'm glad you like it."_

_He looked at her with soft eyes, and Hinata felt herself blushing (if only a little)._

_So they sat there, together, in the sunlight._

_And life was pretty good._

* * *

...

...

...

* * *

Yeah, something like that.

So now, she was just sitting in the foyer, waiting for Karin to get there. They were likely heading to Sakura's, because, well, clearly _something_ was up, and that just wouldn't do!

... Okay, so, Hinata was in a bit (a lot) of a weird mood. She felt giggly and light and silly, and _uhg_, she was going _Valley Girl_ on the world, and that was just _wrong_. She was _Hinata_; she may have been quiet and musical and pretty, but she was intelligent enough that she did _not_ pull out the Valley Girl logo, like, _ever_.

Because that was totally cheating.

Karin had ignored her last text, but, meh.

Hinata was comfortable in her sweats, and Naruto's Pikachu hoodie.

So she looked like the dictionary definition of "scrub". Whatever - it wasn't like she was _going_ for "pretty". She was wearing yesterday's make-up, her hair still piled messily on top of her head, and donning comfortable scrub clothes. She definitely didn't care _what_ anyone thought of her.

Well, excluding one person.

She leaned into Naruto, and definitely did not allow happy giggles to escape her lips. _Definitely did not_.

_Gosh_, he was cute.

* * *

Naruto was quiet as he stared at the wall, jaw clenched and just overall not really _there._

It had nothing to do with Hinata; because he had no dam regrets about what he's done because it's _right _and he will face whatever he had to to prove this. It's just... He knew where she was heading. And because he knew this, he also knew Sasuke did something stupid. And, let's face it, Naruto was a caring person; he didn't want to see neither of them hurt. Scratch that, Naruto's never seen Sasuke (his best friend for _years_) hurt like he was yesterday.

And, even if he just met her, he could just picture Sakura.

"You're going to Sakura-chan's," he questioned distantly.

"Mhmm, why?"

He turned to face her, blue eyes pinning her silvery-white ones. "Hinata-chan, I was drunk last night. But I'm serious on what I said..."

Her brow furrowed lightly as she asked, "About what?"

"About Sasuke-teme and Sakura-chan. The reason why all of us were out in the first place - Hinata-chan! Sai just... Sai... God..." He looked away for a second before his eyes met hers once again. "Sakura-chan's probably... _down _right now."

"...Naruto-kun... What happened?"

Naruto ran a hand through his hair and glared down at the ground. "Sai basically told Sasuke that he was Sakura-chan's rebound. He told Sasuke about his relationship with Sakura-chan."

"What? But that - how does he even - _where does he get off_?" Her eyes were huge, slowly shaking her head in disbelief.

At this, Naruto shook his head, as well. He licked his lower lip and said, "I don't know, Hinata-chan. But I do know that your best friend and my best friend are hurting right now. And there's really no reason for it... Right?"

"Probably not. There almost never is..."

Naruto sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

* * *

Hinata didn't know what to think.

Naruto didn't lie. Ever.

And Karin wouldn't be coming unless it was something big - she wouldn't have even _mentioned_ Sakura if something _big_ hadn't happened.

Oh, god. This wasn't going to be good.

Hinata tucked her hands around Naruto's waist, and clung to him. _Please, god, let this all be some stupid big misunderstanding. Please let it go away, please, please, please_...

* * *

"I wish I could say we ccould do something to make this better," Naruto mumbled.

He gave her a small, sad, hesitant smile and leaned down to give a chaste kiss to her cheek. She was so prettyyyyy; even through the whole ordeal happening right now - he just couldn't seem to get that out of his system. He never could and, he knew, he never would.

But before she could say anything to him. Or he could add anything more, her cellphone went off.

* * *

Hinata glared at the phone. It sang (_So tell me what your best friend knows that I don't know. Tell me why you talk me down, wherever you go. You're saint, you're a queen_~) at her for a minute, before she sighed, and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"_Oh, good, you decided to pick up._"

"Hi, Karin," Hinata sighed into the receiver.

"_I'm outside your boyfriend's house. Your ass. Inside my car. Now._"

Hinata almost snorted. "Do I even have to tell you how that sounds?"

She could practically _hear_ Karin's grin. That was never a good thing. "_Oh, please. You don't need to tell **me**. I **exist** to make dirty jokes._"

"Don't I know it," Hinata murmured softly. "I'll be out in a minute, 'kay?"

"_I'll have the pimp-cane ready to go_."

"Bye," Hinata said, and snapped her phone shut. Seriously, pimp-cane? What was Karin _smoking_?

...

Actually, you know what, Hinata didn't really want to know. It would probably be something vile and dirty and _oh god, why am I friends with them, again_? She looked up at Naruto, and smiled at him. She didn't know if it was forced, but it _was_ a smile, and that was what counted, right? "I - have to go, I guess."

He looked sad, and Hinata's chest hurt. "...Okay."

Hinata stood up on her tiptoes, and carefully pressed her lips against his cheek. It was feather-soft, and barely there; the softest touch she could make it.

"I'll see you later?" and she had to phrase it as a question.

* * *

"Yeah," He nodded and walked her to the door.

He watched her walk down the porch and get into Suigetsu's woman's car. And only after they drove off did Naruto close his door.

God, he hated these kind of problems.

...And he wondered how the hell Sasuke was doing.

Or if he and Kiba hadn't killed each other yet.

God. People.

Naruto needed some ramen.

* * *

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* * *

THE LIST OF** _WHY BOYS SUCK (AMONG OTHER THINGS)_**  
As written by Karin~  
because I'm really awesome ;]  
(and commented on by _Hinata_, **_Ino_**, **Tenten**, and Sakura)

o1. BECAUSE OMIGOD THEY JUST DO. _**(Technically, betch, they lick... unless, you know, they're on the other side of the bun...) **_**(INO JUST STFU. GOD. YOU IDIOT.) _(WELL IT'S TRUE. GOD. GO AWAY AND BE A MAN SOMEWHERE ELSE.) _(I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, SLORE.)  
**

o2. Because they make us cry. **(...I don't consent on this, srsly.) _(COZ YOU'RE A MAN) _(I WILL KILL YOU.)**_  
_

o3. **THEY'RE CONFUSING. MAKE THEM GO AWAY OMFG**. Stop stealing my pen, bitch. **_(So.. is this admitting you have feelings for a certain Hyuuga that is not Hinata?) _(I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.)_ (..So this is a yes.) _(IT'S A FUCKING FIST TO THE MOUTH, WHORE.) **(**  
**

o4. Because one day they're there, and the next, they're just... gone. **(SAKURA, YOU HAVE ME. LET'S GET MARRIED.) _(LEAVE HER ALONE, BITCH, SHE'S SECRETLY HEARTBROKEN.) _(No she's not!) _(Why am I here again?) _**(... I'm sorry, but none of you are Sasuke. And... I dunno, maybe he was my one and only, you know?)**_  
_**

o5. **_BECAUSE THEY'RE PRETTY_**. NOT THE TIME, PIG. _**(There's always time for boys and prettiness, skank.) **_**(Not now, porkchops. God.) _(HEY. IT'S MISS INO TO YOU.) _(Porkchops.)**

o6. Because they're disgusting and unhygenic, and should just all be killed. **(I'm down with this. They suck. All of them.) _(Even your lover?) _(I HAVE NONE.) _(Riiiiiight.)_**

o7. _Because they're very one-track minded, I guess?_ See, Hinata's in love, we can't just be all like THEY SUCK (EVEN THOUGH THEY TOTALLY DO). **_(MY OTPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP) _(Here we go again. Someone take Ino's pen away.) _(MY OTPPPPP. GUYS. MY OTPPPP.) _**(While I do not want to talk about their one-track minds, I do not think my eyes can take anymore crying. They hurt. We're also out of chocolate AND ice cream so... can we get some more coffee flavored ice cream?)**_  
_**

o8. Because they never know what they want, and due to this fact, they're totally terrified of committing (wait, wouldn't that make Tenten a man? JAYKAY I LOVE YOU) **(I'm going to kill you. In the worst way possible. I am going to skin you alive and chop you off into pieces and send you off to that guy you're now living with or whatever.) _(...So, you're a man, right?) _(You're next.) _(LOVE MEEEEEEEE.)_**

o9. This ice cream is _awesome_. **(THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR LIST, IDIOT.) _(ICE CREAM IS LIFE.) _(FOOD IS LIFE.) _(LET'S GET MARRIED.) _(...No.)**

1o. Anything else to add, ladies? **(You know that time you baked cookies and they disappeared? I ate them.) _(...What the hell, Tenten?) _(I THOUGHT WE WERE CONFESSING OR SOMETHING.)** I. YOU. OMIGOD. I REFUSE TO KNOW YOU.

11. **BECAUSE THEY SCRATCH THEIR BALLS IN PUBLIC. EVERYWHERE. AND THEY SMELL. LIKE, A LOT. _(...EW. JUST... EW. I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT, GOD.) _(EXACTLY.)  
**

12. _**AND THEY'RE PRETTY. LIKE, SRSLY. WTF. **_**(NO WORDS FOR AN IDIOT. SHE'S AS ONE-TRACKED MIND AS THESE BOYS WE'RE BASHING.) _(NONSENSE. GLITTER.)_**. _Ino, be quiet. It's rude._

13. OMFG, YOU ALL ARE SO FUCKING STUPID AND _SO NOT HELPING_. I AM TEARING THIS UP _RIGHT NOW_.

**

* * *

**

And so she did.

Karin snarled, grabbed the list off the table, and was about to start tearing it into shreds. But Hinata plucked it out of her hands. There was a very... _strange_ aura surrounding her. The little Hyuuga girl was very calm, and very poised.

But her left eye was twitching, and that was never a good sign.

Hinata calmly took the defaced list, and began methodically tearing it to shreds. Into halves, then into quarters, eights, sixteenths, thirty-seconds. The tiny little pieces sat in her hands for a moment, and she looked dangerously up at Ino and Tenten, and, really, everyone else in the room.

"You-," she said softly, "-_all_ of you - are _not_ helping. Get out of my sight, and go be productive, before I _snap_. Are we _clear_?"

* * *

Sakura wasn't paying attention as everyone else was forced, single-file, out of the room, by Hinata (god, that girl was so small and so scary - it should have worked at all). Her gaze was focused solely on the spoon in her right hand as it bit into melting coffee ice cream. Swirling it defined motions, she was satisfied to see the picture come to life under her keen eye for detail and able hands.

"Sakura, you're carving things in your ice cream."

If the girl had been capable of feeling shock, she would have dropped the spoon at Hinata's voice. But ever since Sasuke had- well, since that night, she had been uncapable of feeling anything other than sad, sadder, and saddest.

She stared blankly at her friend across the table, her eyebrows scrunched a bit in displeasure. "That's Sasuke. See his hair and his eyes and-." All the tears that Sakura almost wanted to cry got stuck somewhere between her throat and her eyes, but she could just feel her face get all blotchy, like it did every time when she cried.

But she had made a promise to herself. No more tears.

Hinata kind of just _blinked_ at her for a while before she spoke. "Sakura - I - I know. But..." Reaching across the table, she clasped Sakura's boneless hand in one of her smaller ones.

"Sakura, you know I care about you. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to, but... I'm right here. And I'm worried about you."

Something in Sakura crumbled for the twenty-first time since Last Night And She Wasn't Going To Think About It Because It Was Pointless, but her face felt like stone.

"I just... feel betrayed, I guess. He comes and he goes - and maybe guys are supposed to be like kleenex - one use only - but I thought there was something more than sex. He called me annoying, but... he calls his best friends annoying. So I thought there was something there that I'd never seen or felt before. I still feel like I'm writing his name in lipstick on my mirror, you know? Like he was It. The One. He made my heart _thrum_. He made me feel alive like one fine wire, but at the same time it was like he was freezing me. Maybe love is a bundle of contradictions, but apparently it wasn't like I thought."

Hinata said nothing.

"I hate being wrong."

"I know you do," Hinata murmured to her, softly.

"I hate him."

A pin dropped in the distance.

"But I hate me more because I _know_ I could never hate him."

* * *

The sorrow that surrounded Sakura was palpable.

Hinata sighed, softly, softly. She slipped an arm around Sakura's shaking shoulders.

"Do you regret it?"

"... Honestly? I don't know. Not yet, at least."

_No_, Hinata thought, _Sakura wouldn't regret it_. Because Sakura didn't regret - even when she should have. She didn't regret Sai, didn't regret Sasuke... It was going to be the death of her, really, it was. And there was nothing Hinata could do about it, other then sit next to Sakura, and hold her hand when her heart shattered.

(And no one wanted to do it, but do it, Hinata would.)

* * *

.

* * *

Tenten bit at her lip-ring, honey-brown eyes cast down on the tiled-floor of the kitchen.

Karin was currently ranting on some sort of thing; but it wasn't like Tenten ever paid attention when she was being yelled at. Honestly, one would think _that _fact was obvious; especially when her attitude never improved or changed. But... still.

What _else _could they expect from her end? She didn't know what Sakura was going through - she'd never felt anything like it. She didn't know how to console her or how to act or how not to. Tenten was just... there.

Was she supposed to act like a statue and just take in the whole scene? Watch her friend inwardly break and not be able to help out because she was too brash and didn't have a gentle bone in her body?

She sighed.

"Yeah, okay, we screwed up, I get it," she cut in on Karin's bitching, "Go ahead and keep yelling, if you want. I'm going to the bathroom."

She jumped off the island and stalked towards the bathroom.

* * *

Karin was _not a happy camper, okay_?

This - _this was **not cool**_.

Tenten had disappeared, and Ino was starting to look grumpy, and Karin - _Karin was not a happy camper_.

Hands on her hips, she paced the kitchen, and sent nasty glares in Tenten's general direction (okay, Karin knew that Tenten failed at emotional contact, and, okay, it was really, really pathetic in a kicked-puppy kind of way, but, like, seriously - _out. of. line_ much?), because, _hi_? She was _so_ not in the mood for this.

"You," she barked at Tenten's retreating back. "Fine, ditch, you suck at feelings anyways. But if you're leaving, get me ice cream. _Now_. I need to do some serious damage control as soon as I possibly can. And you-!" she whirled, and shot A Look Of Doom in Ino's direction "-stop _baiting_ her! God, am I the _only_ adult here?"

* * *

Ino stared at Karin.

Just stared.

Her usual sunny-bright face was dimmed down to a blank expression, blue eyes gluing themselves on Karin's red ones and without breaking the contact she waved her hand carelessly.

"I know what she's going through." she commented lightly yet heavily all in one. "I _know_. I know she's trying really hard to fight back the tears. I know she wants to hate him but obviously can't. I know she wants to crawl into a hole and never come out. I _know_." She sighed and placed her hands on her hips. "It's better to just make her forget rather than make her talk or think or _whatever _about what she clearly doesn't want to."

Sighing again, Ino walked towards the island and leaned the small of her back against it, crossing her arms in front of her chest and pouting. "Besides... I don't know, Karin, okay? I'm just as worried about her as you are but that doesn't mean I'm going to be all gloomy and a total bitch about everything! Maybe there's something we're missing and I'm going to stay level-headed and not plan for his doom until I figure it out!"

* * *

Karin just rolled her eyes. "Please. Getting the bat and beating him to death is Tenten's job. I said "damage" control, not "render him unconscious and bleeding" control. They're two different things."

She paused. "And let's face it - I'm a total bitch about everything."

The two girls looked at each other for a moment, and sighed simultaneously. Karin bit her lip, and looked her oldest friend in the eye. "What do we do, Ino? Like - I've _never_ seen her like this, _ever_. It's just - out of place, and out of the blue, and I - I don't _get_ it! And you _know_ how I feel about not understanding things!"

Karin sat down at the table, and dropped her head down onto crossed arms. "I _hate_ people," she muttered to herself. "Boys, in particular. They're stupid."

* * *

Ino pursed her lips and shook her head.

"I have no idea, to be really obvious," she commented, eyes gluing themselves on the counters. "But I'm going to find out, so help me god I am going to go psycho bitch. And it's been a very long while since I've gone psycho bitch, Karin."

Sighing one more time, Ino ran a hand through her hair. "I... I don't even know? I'm supposed to be like _the _person to go to for these things and even _I'm _looking at the situation with a what-the-fuck face. I mean, they were fine a few days ago..."

She shook her head again and laid her upper body onto the flat surface of the island. "I think we should pour sunshine and glitter and happiness and cookie dough on Sakura's parade! Because that's _so _much better than rain. That can frizz your hair and stuff."

Karin stared at her in utter disbelief. "...No, Ino. Just. No."

Ino sighed and stood up straight, a soft glare in her eyes. "Then what the hell are we going to do? Just sit around and mope with her? Newsflash, Karin, moping around isn't healthy nor good!"

* * *

"But sometimes it's necessary! Sometimes, Ino, life isn't sunshine and rainbows, and _sometimes_, grieving over something special that just _died_ is _okay_! If Sakura wants to grieve, _let_ her! What's it going to hurt?" Karin snapped, eyes flashing behind her glasses.

"You know what? Then _you_ grieve with her! Because obviously that's what _you_ want! Then _you_ handle her tears and everything. Go on! Go handle it!"

Karin knew Ino was terrified - knew that Ino hated seeing someone she cared about _hurt_ so much.

But this was _so_ not the time.

Ino was the sunshine and the glitter, and Karin was the alcoholic girly drinks (and that wasn't even taking Tenten into account - Tenten was a different story entirely) - neither of them were very good at picking the broken pieces of someone's soul up, and putting them back together.

Frankly, Karin just didn't have the patience. Another sigh escaped her, the fight leaving her body. "Ino, we both know that Hinata can pull it off a hundred times better then you or I ever could."

* * *

Ino closed her eyes and massaged her temples, willing herself to calm down because being angry and being sad and being anything negative was something she had _promised _herself she'd never _ever _do again.

"Then _let _her handle it. I don't... I don't want to talk about this if it's not with Sakura. I don't want to... I just... I need something to drink." She went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, placing the cold plastic on her temples before actually going ahead and taking a drink.

She pursed her lips and sighed deeply. Actually, she didn't think there was anything else she _could _do but just _sigh._ Ino... Maybe it was selfish, she didn't know, but she just... She _couldn't _go through all that again. Not for herself, not for a friend, not for her father - she _couldn't_.

It was _too damn hard._ Just the thought of it was giving her a migraine - actually, the thought of it was making her want to drop the figurative towel on the ground and call it quits. She would _never _abandon Sakura or any of the girls; but she was _not _going to be the one to have to listen to all the tears and... and... and... she just couldn't.

She was so horrible.

At that, she furrowed her brow and chewed on her lower lip.

"Men suck."

* * *

"You're telling me," Karin muttered grumpily.

Really, right now, all she wanted was to curl up, and sleep forever.

Sleep had always been Karin's preferred method of coping - well, dancing, and then sleep. Dancing to exhaust herself, and then sleep to pass the time and dull the heartache. It had always worked (Karin remembered the first time that her father had snapped, and left the house; Karin had danced herself raw, and then slept for seventeen hours), so why would this be any different?

Tenten was still gone, Sakura was still crying (probably), Hinata was still comforting, Ino was still Ino, and Karin was still tired.

There was nothing to do but wait.

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**Okay guys, how about this: let's have a little test. We have over two hundred Favs/Alerts. What we would LOVE, would be if each and every single one of you reviewed this chapter. Just a test to see how much you love us / whether you actually pay attention to us, or not. So! If you love us (and want us to update in the near future), please review! If you don't love us (and don't want us to update, altho' I have no idea why you'd be reading this if you didn't), kookoocachoo to you, too.**


	30. how to out class 'the situation'

**disclaimer**: huh, funny.  
**dedication**: to late night snacks, industrial piercings, bubblegum lipgloss, eyeliner, sparkles, glo-in-the-dark nailpolish and tulle. also shoujo manga.  
**notes**: OMFG, SONYA GOT HER MACBOOK BACK. but Saraa got a job, and kind of fell off the face of the earth. so. uh. yeah.

**Saraa's laughter in the background**: pants need to be outlawed. just sayinnn'.  
**Sonya's therapeutic remarks: **"Twinkles- was a hamster. I will NOT vacuum up my baby!" & TAKE THAT BACK SARAA I LIKE MY SEXAY JEANS. but I am so happy about this macbook. it's so pretteh. i am also really looking forward to post-SBNY with as much depression as i am thinking about the next projects. needless to say... this ain't gonna be over for quite a while longer.  
**Les' random flailing around her rainbow city: **STOP, DROP, KABOOM, BABY. *air humps Saraa*

.

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* * *

Waking up hurt, Itachi discovered.

But it was a different kind of hurt than normal. It wasn't just the pounding head and the urge to vomit (He had never liked the word 'vomit'. It always had tasted weird and gross on his tongue, but it perfectly described the disgusting feeling and taste in his mouth). It was the way his chest throbbed and he felt like there was a hole in his stomach and everything flowed into the rest of him and-

The image alone made him bolt for the bathroom across the hall. The smell of the toilet did the rest.

Wretching horribly into the dish, he felt his eyes roll back at the stench and all of the- he didn't want to think about it anymore.

After the gagging had been all that was left, Itachi got up and went to wash out his mouth in the sink.

The taste seemed even worse as it sat in his mouth. Yanking the faucet handles until water spewed out of it like the Niagara Falls, he cupped his hands under the hydrolic force and brought the water to his mouth.

As he gargled the water, he noticed for the first time the folded note on the mirror. Its flowery print made it seen ostentatious against the white walls, sink, and toilet and silver showerheads.

Itachi pulled it off by the tape carefully and examined the very feminine cursive handwriting (which she left in the _men's_ bathroom, seeing as this was a _male_ dormitory) before reading it.

_Idiot-_

_I hope you learned your lesson. I'm assuming that, if you get this note, you'll have used the toilet to... flush the toxin known as _alcohol_ out of your system._

_So you are reading this note._

_Notice how I address you, you knuckle-headed _moron_._

_I have a feeling I know why you did what you did last night. It's quite understandable._

_But that doesn't make it _not_ brainless._

_So you like this girl- your _cousin_, apparently- and instead of being reasonable, you go out, get smashed, and get laid._

_The first two- bad._

_The third- I won't complain._

_But you don't consider her feelings at all._

_So._

_I hope you have a fucking bitch of a hangover._

_And that you go tell her how you feel, of course, so no one else gets involved in this idiocy known as _you_ and _her.

_Cordially,_

_The girl you banged last night._

_P.S. Shisui dropped by. She said she never wants to talk to you again._

The note dropped out of his nerveless hand and he found himself at the porcelain toilet again.

* * *

.

* * *

Ino loved the park.

She had no idea why this was true, but it was. She loved the park; the grass, the trees, the playground the picnic section - everything. But she loved the park more when winter was near. It was such a pretty sight, watching orange-red-brown-yellow leaves slowly drift to the ground or on someone's head; cheeks colored pink because of the strong wind whistling to and fro. And when it was snowing?

It was breathtaking.

Currently, Ino found herself walking down a small trail that she new led to where the picnic tables were at. She had her hands stuffed inside the pockets of her leather jacket (it had _studs_. Hello she _had _to get it and feel like a complete amazing biker chick, duh), shoulders hunched just slightly. Watching the place with bright blue eyes, Ino smiled at the little kids playing on the playground.

She would admit that she had been just a little bit tense, what with what had been going on with Sakura. Ino was the kind of friend that felt exactly what you felt when you were feeling it; even if Sakura was playing the strong card, Ino knew she was hurting somewhere inside - Ino was just hurting with her.

A nice outing for herself would do her good. So, here she was, strolling and admiring and inwardly flailing at the prettiness of it all.

In a matter of minutes, she was picking out which one of the tables she liked best before taking her seat on top of it, blue eyes watching the scenery.

Such a pretty day.

* * *

The start to the morning led Itachi to change his usual morning routine.

Sighing to himself as he walked through the park, he wondered when was the last time he had allowed himself the absolute luxury of scouring the park for a place to relax. It had been a long time- he knew that much.

He hadn't relaxed in a while.

Technically, Itachi still wasn't relaxed. There was a problem to fix and until then, he could not completely relax.

He was at least allowed to unwind, right? Stretch out his arms and his legs so he was ready to take action?

Squinting into the almost-distance, he saw a familiar blond settling back on a table as she gazed upon it all like everything her sets rested upon was hers to own. Itachi hadn't seen Ino in a while, but she seemed rather... cheerful today.

Maybe he could take some of that happiness for himself.

Itachi set out for the table.

* * *

Taking a deep breath in, Ino leaned back, her weight being supported by her hands. From the corner of her eye, she caught someone making a bee-line towards her direction. Normally, Ino couldn't care less - she _loved _people! But there was something familiar about this figure; turning her head fully towards the person, she stared as Itachi made his way towards her.

She hadn't seen Itachi in a long while.

Ohhhhh, he was so _pretty_.

Ino loved people, but she loved pretty people _more_.

She tilted her head to the side and allowed a wide grin to take over her lips.

"Hi!"

"... Hello."

Looking at him closely, Ino noticed the light bags under his eyes - his paler than normal complexion. She blinked, "Wow, you look like shit. Have you been drinking?"

"A... It feels like years ago..." He was close now, close enough so he dropped himself on the bench under the table Ino was propped on. She moved her legs to give him space.

Raising a light eyebrow, Ino stared at him. "Whaaat? Your talking always confused me. Are you okay?"

"I... I don't know." She watched as his brow crinkled, his brow furling in concentration, or frustration. "Hopefully... If I don't screw things up again... Maybe I'll at least make it to "okay"..."

Ino's eyes widened, her smile grew and she clapped her hands in excitement. "Oh! Problems! Tell Guru Ino all about it; I can definitely help!"

"I... There's this girl. And I think I screwed things up big time while I was... inebriated." Itachi hadn't faced her, yet. He continued to stare at the scene in front of them - the trees and the sky and the kids and the playground.

At this, Ino's eyes sparkled in complete excitement. "Itachiiiiii, if I wasn't so scared you'd bite my hand off, I'd pull your cheeks!" She froze and processed everything over in her brain. "Ugh, another drunk douche - what'd you do?"

Itachi sighed. "Is it important what I did? It's... more important what I didn't do before what I _did_ do. If I had done what I should have done before then..."

Shrugging, Ino turned away from him and stared at what he was staring at. "Well, it kind of is important, because then I'll know what level of douchery you committed and how much help you need... And quit confusing me!"

"... I don't really want to say. Will it suffice to say that it was bad? Very bad?"

"Like what?" Ino pursed her lips and turned to stare at him again. "You were drunk... Perhaps a one night stand? Or, maybe you kissed someone you shouldn't... Hm."

She watched with a deadpan look as Itachi shrugged and looked at anything but her."It just... destroyed everything I've... wanted for a long, long time. Happy?"

"Hey, hey. I'm not the one that did something stupid." She sighed and crossed one of her legs over the other. "But, seeing as you've basically screwed everything up..." Ino was vaguely brought back to weeks (if not months) ago when she had that talk with the pretty girl. In away, this situation was sort of like that... only reversed. Maybe...

She shook her head. "Well... Have you tried talking it out with her? I'm sure you didn't mean for whatever happened to happen. I mean... This is _you _we're talking about..."

* * *

Itachi nearly choked as he gave Ino a disbelieving look. "I might not be the most _vocal_ person you know, but I do understand the words, 'I don't want to see your face ever again,' quite well." He braced his fingertips against each other as he stared past his steepled fingers. "And I didn't mean it to happen. I was confused and... I don't work best under that... condition. Kisame would tell you I go on a self-destructive rampage.

"Perhaps I do."

Talking to Ino... It helped. It didn't change anything- the world was still as crooked as it had been when he had opened his eyes earlier that morning, but he felt more... hopeful. Determined. The first step to fixing a problem, after all, was admitting there was a problem and identifying it.

"So what are you doing here today?" He hoped she didn't think that he had changed the subject because it was depressing and uncomfortable and... That summarized the conversation rather well, actually. "Since I told you about me, I think it's only right that you do the same."

* * *

At this, Ino's eyes sparkled, cheeks turning rosier and a bright smile on her lips.

"Oh," she giggled. "I'm... Waiiiiiit. We're not even done talking about you!" Peeking a glance at him, she sighed and fingered her hair. "Ah, well. Okay... I'm just killing time until I have to meet up with someone."

Itachi raised an eyebrow and finally turned to look at her. "Someone?"

Ino wanted to _flail_. He was so pretty and... and... and... and... he was so _pretty_. She wanted to _hug _him! Ino always wanted to hug him - even when she and Sasori were... Well. She didn't want to think about that. But... _he was so prettyyyy_. She stared at him and mildly got entranced by his features; his dark eyes and his dark hair and he's _pretty_.

Shaking her head, she looked away and nodded. "Mhmm. This person's still at work."

"You're really serious about him, aren't you?"

Ino sputtered. "Wah.. What? I never said it was a _guy_, Itachi-kun!"

"The goofy, lovesick smile on your face...It kinda gave you away. He's a lucky guy." He turned to look at her once again and smiled at the look of utter confusion that was on her face.

And then the confusion was wiped off by the heavy blush that took over her cheekbones. He was so pretty and she wanted to _hug _him! That was the thing with Ino - she sees someone pretty and she must have her hands on him or her. Really.

"Well... I... Um." She cleared her throat. "Well... Of course. This is _me_, of course." She smiled shyly. Ino's flirtatiousness was always lost when she was in the presence of someone so. Damn. _Pretty_.

* * *

Ino looked like she was just about to jump on him and hug him to death.

Best to move on then.

Don't get him wrong- he liked pretty girls as much as the next guy, but after all that had happened... He didn't want human contact for a long while. That was reasonable, right?

"So I am going to head towards the entrance..." Itachi's voice trailed off as he figured out how to say "see you later" in a non-suggestive manner.

"Hm? Oh, okay... I'll walk with you!" She checked the time on her cell-phone and hopped off the table. "It's almost time, anyway."

There wasn't a comfortable silence on their walk; Ino was like Shisui (the black hole where his heart should have been cracked at the mention of his cousin-love-person), unable to maintain a silence without it getting awkward and so leading her to constantly talking. But it was a pleasant stream of babble- Itachi learned about this guy- Kiba, how he was amazing with cars, how he loved Blink-182, how they had a _song..._

The only thing she didn't say was how she knew he was the one- if it was the way her stomach was all bubbly around him, if he always made her smile...

Itachi wished there was some _rules_ about this thing- if someone could just write up the signs.

But unfortunately, life nor love came with a rulebook.

* * *

Stuffing her hands deeper within her jacket, Ino let out a puff of air out, watching it as it disappeared a second later. She turned to look up at Itachi and pursed her lips.

"Okay, so, I have a friend, right? And his girlfriend appeared at his house, drunk off of her mind, and emotionally broken. He didn't know what got her to be like that, but he figured he had to be the one that caused her pain. Long story short - she slept with him, and when he woke up the next morning she wasn't there. He hasn't heard from her since." Ino's heart still kind of panged at the thought. "What do you think of that?"

Ino still refused to believe Sakura had anything to do with what happened to her boyfriend; or, well... She didn't know. Maybe information from a guy's perspective might help? And since _someone _had been avoiding her until today, she hasn't been able to find anyone to ask.

Itachi thought for a while, his mind whirring into action. He wasn't at his best with these kinds of questions, so he let his common sense do the talking. "Sounds like they both miss each other- drunken actions and words are often what the person has wanted but denied themselves- and he let her seduce him. But he should try to contact her- phone, txting, email, finding her at her house or usual...haunts. Any way, they need to talk."

Ino sighed. "I thought so... But his girlfriend's such a grump - she's like _you_. All calm and collected... only a little more broody. But she's very pretty."

She looked around at the civilians roaming the park and smiled.

* * *

There was a feeling swelling in the air- maybe it was just the feeling of the first snow pressing down on them in the middle of the earthy-colored park or the way that there were almost no leaves in the trees.

A leaf blew into his hair, tangling itself in dark locks of hair until Ino, giggling, had to help him extricate it. Dangling it between her fingers, she and her bright blue eyes watched it when she finally let it go to the wind that carried it, twirling and dazzling, away and away.

She was, to use her term for it, pretty.

Itachi could admit that Ino dazzled and attracted him like a moth to a flame or fluorescent light bulb. She was... not _perfect_, but a person who seemed to light up the world.

He _wanted_ someone like that.

But those words- evil words, the right words, the evil right words- echoed in his head.

_'And that you go tell her how you feel, of course, so no one else gets involved in this idiocy known as _you_ and _her.'

No, it wouldn't work out. He was just starting to realize how much love ties someone up. They're the air you breathe whether you like it or not and just because someone reminds you of the person you might have lost, it doesn't mean they are the same. Ino couldn't be his Shisui just like Eowyn would never be Aragorn's Arwen.

And... she was with someone who made her happy. After... him, whoever that was, made her so happy, Itachi couldn't do a thing for it.

So he'd have to be satisfied for these little moments, he decided, as he watched her chase a butterfly a few feet before watching it fly into the midday sun.

They could be friends.

Friends... That felt good.

* * *

Turning towards Itachi, bright smile on her lips, Ino let a bubble of giggles out.

She didn't know why the hell she was so happy - she just was. That's just the way Ino is; she's _happy _and _flaily_ and she _loves _being surrounded by people. It made her feel like she was on top of the world and the capability to bring her off that high was almost nonexistent.

Feeling sadness was not something Ino did well, not to mention something she abhorred more than she abhorred when the Shoe Palace was out of size six flats. She knew most people wondered how someone like her would manage to remain so happy and flaily and smile so much; but Ino just thought that she cried enough for her lifetime, shut herself away from the world to last her the rest of her life and she was sure she felt like she was dead enough to make it seem unhealthy.

Happiness was what Ino wanted to absorb like a sponge - and now that she has, she wanted to extract it and share it with everyone. A smile makes people look so much prettier; frowns caused wrinkles.

So that's why she grinned at Itachi, bright blue eyes waiting to see if he'd do that small smile of his; which he did... for a second, but it was enough.

"So are you going to talk to her," she asked when he reached her side. Together they walked the small length of what was left of the trail to get to the entrance of the park. She stuffed her hands inside the pockets of her jacket and lightly hunched her shoulders. Giving a soft shiver, she turned and waited expectantly for his reply.

* * *

Itachi paused in his thought process and furrowed his brow.

Would he talk to Shisui- get all of that... weirdness inside his chest out into the open so it could fly like a butterfly into the sunshine? He tried to ignore what would- or could- happen if that butterfly kept chasing sunbeams until it met the sun in one blistering mess of wings on fire. Perhaps... he would keep it, even though keeping it holed up would inevitably lead to it rotting so that all of it that used to be beauty became corrupted... ugliness.

Internally, something panged at _not_ doing anything.

Steeling himself physically for whatever was to come, Itachi gave a sharp, decisive nod.

"Yes."

Even the word felt... determined.

* * *

At that, Ino's smile could only brighten.

Clapping her hands and giggling she twirled and walked.

"Yay! Watch, everything's going to be super," she stopped for a second, "Okay, maybe not right away... But it will!" Smiling towards him one last time, Ino sobered up and stared at the black gates of the park's entrance. Itachi was the guy she grew closest to when she dated Sasori, seeing him... 'happy' would be something really amazing for her.

Once at the entrance she twisted in her feet and turned to look at him, a small smile on her lips. "Well, Itachi-kun, it was really nice talking to you, again. I'm glad you've been well and everything."

Going on her tippy toes, she gave him a hug and placed one kiss on his right cheek, and then on his left one.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

His mattress probably already had a hole in the shape of his body.

He hadn't move much, not since he came back to his house two nights ago. And the only reason he came back was because Kiba made him; if it were up to him, he'd walk all the way to Suna, or possibly farther. He's been drinking nonstop since he got home, too. Locked the door to his room so no one would disturb him. His mother was probably worried but he was too drunk to actually care.

And it was possibly really kind of stupid - drinking himself to oblivion. But... Sasuke didn't give a flying fuck. Not now, and possibly not ever. Right now, he was trying to fill in this fucking empty feeling he's got inside him; such a heavy, sinking, empty feeling it is. It weighed him down. It sunk him to the very ground. It made him feel hollow and useless and _fuck _did he _fucking _hate it.

And drinking was making it better - kind of, sort of. Maybe. He was filling it up - filling it up and getting drunk to the point where he couldn't think and couldn't remember much. But he was... How could he still be coherent? It was as if the alcohol was shutting down just _that _part of his brain. The one that was making him think of pink and green and bright smiles and teases and books and loud, loud comments.

He didn't _want _to fucking think of all that and the alcohol was saving him from it. It was pathetic, a wasted part of his mind commented. He didn't care. Let it be pathetic, let it be cowardice, let it be what it is. He didn't care. So long as he got _some _sort of peace. Some sort of... _quiet_.

Don't get him wrong. He knew this... this peace and quiet and forgetting and shutting down only lasted until the alcohol was out of his system. And he knew that all those feelings were going to come and eat him up, chew him, and spit him back out with an intensity that was inexplicable. He just... He didn't care.

Sasuke stared at the ceiling as he lay on his bed in nothing but a pair of boxers. His hair was limp and a complete mess and when he actually raised his hand to scratch at an itch, he could feel the stubbles of what was quickly becoming his brand new five-o'clock shadow. He was a damn mess and he didn't even care.

He didn't care about a lot of things, he was noticing. Or... was he? He didn't fucking know, it was so damn confusing.

He had the largest bottle of vodka in his collection right at his side, half drunken. Slowly, he turned towards the bottle he was cradling so close and tried to differ which one of the dozens was the real bottle. He blinked and to solve the problem he brought it close to his lips and took the longest chug he has ever had.

Sasuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath in before exhaling and opening his eyes to stare at the wall with the blankest face he's ever mustered in his nineteen years of life.

And then he switched his attention (it wasn't even attention... It was... It had no name. He was just... He was blank. Sasuke was a zombie.) to Itachi's laptop and tried to raise an eyebrow. He lifted it up to his chest, took another gulp of vodka and opened his email someway or another. He didn't even know.

Everything he was doing right now was some sort of miracle.

And you know what, Sasuke didn't _care_.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject: No Subject_

hey.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: no subject_

hi.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: ___No Subject_

how are you?

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: no subject_

not so hot. you?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _No Subject_

i'm drunk. i think. i don't remember shit... yeah, i'm drunk.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: still no subject_

That's stupid. Why're you drunk?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _No subject_

there doesn't need to be a reason to drink.  
and it erases a lot of unnecessary things.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: this makes me sick_

Unnecessary?  
Maybe I could use a drink, too.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _No Subject_

what's wrong with you?

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: i thought we were past this_

nothing.  
everything.  
I don't know.

I think the better question is: what is wrong with _you_?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _No Subject_

i... don't want to talk about it.

_

* * *

_

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: I THOUGHT WE GOT PAST THIS_.

that's fair, I guess.

don't drink yourself to death.  
that's something - well, that's something that someone I used to love would do.

and I don't want this relationship to end up like that one.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _No subject_

too late for that.  
i've been drunk for the past three days.

what happened to... that person?

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: please give me something to work with, Thunder. Please_?

I've been crying for the past day and a half, so we're even, I guess.  
how long until you sober up?

I don't know.  
and that's what hurts the most.  
_I don't know what I did wrong_.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _what do you want._

that's...not cool.  
are your eyes, like, puffy and red?

that's messed up, i suppose.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: i don't know. something. anything_.

no, it's not.  
my head hurts, if that's any consolation.

it is.  
why are boys so dumb, huh?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _i'm in my boxers._

not all of us are...

why are girls heartless?

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: i'm in my pajamas. i miss clean clothes_.

most of you are.  
if your species made a little more sense, I probably wouldn't have puffy red eyes, right now.

and how are girls heartless?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _i haven't gotten off my bed in a while?_

well... maybe i can clear things up for you...  
or something.

they just are.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: you should do that. your mom is probably worried about you_.

maybe baby.  
...oh, god, that's the first joking thing I've said since... what, Thursday night?  
god, I feel pathetic.

your sure you don't want to talk about it?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _don't waaaant._

...baby? nice.  
i don't think i've been sober since thursday afternoon...

what's there to talk about?  
i feel like... like a fat kid would if he finds out he was eating the left overs of someone's cake.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: don't say things like that_.

don't start. I don't want to have to hurt you, and I'm not in the mood.  
...you're stupid. do I need to come over there and dump a cup of ice-water on your head?

is there even anything to talk about? haven't we been over this, already?  
WHAT. HAPPENED.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _like what?_

i didn't say anything. that was you...  
no, because then i'd have to get up to unlock the door, and i don't want to do that.

weird-kinda-sorta-breakup with this girl... that's all.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: like... that. i don't know how to describe it_.

it was out of habit. it doesn't matter, I guess.  
lazy.

...are you okay?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _'don't waaant'?_

i guess not.  
...i think i just spilled vodka on my brother's laptop...wdfmk,.r,ewasz

...no.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: that. or something like that. i don't know_.

he's going to kill you.

is there anything I can do?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _you're confusing me._

fuck him and his long hair too.

i don't know... i don't think so... maybe?

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: that's nothing new_.

I have no idea what he looks like, but the way you describe him makes him sound like a shmuck.  
(that movie sucked, anyway)

what COULD I do?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _are you calling me stupid?_

i'm better looking, trust me. i think he's a fag, personally. just like my cousin - but let's not go there coz i want to kill him.

what do you WANT to do?

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: do i ever call you anything else_?

I'm personally amazed you're this coherent, right now. how much have you had to drink?

go dancing in the rain.  
or maybe drinking. but I'm still underage. and it sucks.  
what else is there to _do_ in Konoha, really?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _how rude._

i have an amazing ability at handling my liquor. i've drunken a bottle and a half... or, i don't know. it's a lot though.

dancing in the rain? you can get sick.  
i'm not underaged.  
you can... i don't know.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: it's true, though, isn't it?_

...yeah, I still think you should probably stop.  
drinking, that is.

I'm sick about a lot of things. being actually sick wouldn't hurt, at this point, I think.  
I know you're not.  
that is really, _really_ helpful. I hope you catch my sarcasm in your probably-drunken state.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _no, not at all._

i rather not.

i don't know how to help you with this, sorry.  
and your sarcasm goes by unnoticed. or uncared for. or something.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: you're lying to yourself_.

why not?  
you'll hate yourself less, when you wake up.

you... _suck_.  
just saying.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _no, you're just blind to the truth._

what makes you think i've slept?

no, i don't _suck_.  
che.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: well, if i'm blind, then you're def, dumb, blind, and stupid_.

...good point. but you must have slept at _some_ point, right?  
it's really not good to go so long, without sleep...

you _do_ suck.  
tsk.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _not really. you're blind and annoying._

i slept before all this happened; actually i slept one last time as it happened.  
haven't slept since. and i don't want to...

no, i _don't_ suck. _you _suck.  
tch.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: ...you really need better insults. :S_

I can't sleep, either. I just - yeah, idk what I'm supposed to do.  
insomniac, much?

you suck more then I do.  
fffffff.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _and you need to not insult me so much._

probably. that, or maybe i'm just masochistic and it reflects on me staying awake.

i haven't sucked. at all.  
huh.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: or maybe you just should smile a little more often_.

welcome to my whole fucking life.

sure you haven't.  
PBBBTTTT.  
(in case you didn't know, that is me blowing a raspberry in your general direction. you do _too_ suck.)

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _what makes you think i don't smile?_

err.. right.

are you insinuating something?  
how very mature.  
(read the above sentence.)

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: it's just a feeling i get. i don't think you smile much at all_.

right.

do you even need to ask?  
I'm more mature then you, mr-I'm-so-drunk-I-can't-think-straight.  
(fyi: I DON'T CARE. right now, anyway.)

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _your thoughts are different from reality._

hn.

so, now you're insinuating things about me, yet you don't know me at all.  
and now you think you're more mature than me.  
how very interesting.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: no, somehow i think they don't_.

...have you ever wanted to destroy something, just for the sake of watching it burn?  
that's kind of how I feel right now...

we've been friends for three months. I like to think I know _something_ about you.  
I never said that.  
you're jumping to conclusions, again. you have to stop doing that - you'll get hurt, one day.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _somehow, i don't think i care about your opinion on this matter._

yes. i have. and i do. and i'm not sure if that want is ever going to leave.

we're friends? if you knew something about me you wouldn't insinuate stupid shit.  
then what _did _you say?  
why did i email you again? this shit always bites me in the ass.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: somehow, i think you do_.

_why_ tho'? why is it like that?

I think we are. you can't talk to a person for four months and _not_ think of them as friends - because, let's face it, we know far too much about each other to be considered just "acquaintances".  
I was pointing out that I deal with pain in a more healthy way then you do. you're also drunk you probably can't see straight (DON'T YOU DARE DENY IT, I KNOW IT'S TRUE), and I'm just... crying. I think the tears are a least a _little_ bit more healthy. I mean, your _liver_ is - well, let's just say that I don't envy you.  
you know, I don't know why you emailed me.  
maybe just because you needed to talk to someone?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _no subject for you._

i don't know. i don't have all the answers.

if i talk to you it's because i want a grade. i haven't really given this relationship much thought. but if it makes you less annoying than go ahead and call us friends.  
hey, i just got a new bottle of vodka at my side. just sayin'.  
i don't do much talking; it has to be another reason. maybe you remind me of someone. i don't know.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: that's a subject on its own_.

I kind of wish you did.

uh-huh. you're good at lying to yourself, I think.  
...STOP. DRINKING. or I'm going to have to call the hospital to expect a case of alcohol poisoning in the next few hours.  
who would I remind you of?  
(actually, on second thought, I don't want to know; you probably know all sort of depraved people. I don't need it, right now.)

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _if you say so._

so do i.

and you're good at annoying me.  
superstar, you're way of dealing with things is crying. my way is drinking myself to oblivion... actually, alcohol is the solution to everything for me, but that's not the case. just get off my back on this, okay? watch, i'll email you tomorrow just to prove to you i'm still alive.  
she wasn't depraved. she was nerdy and loud and obnoxious and stupid and... she made me smile.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: you know i do_.

it would make everything easier, wouldn't it?  
because then you could just tell me what I did wrong, and I could _fix_ it, and he - well, _that person_ wouldn't be so... far away.

you wouldn't have me any other way.  
BUT CRYING IS AT LEAST NON-LIFE-THREATENING.  
_you better_.  
...you loved her, didn't you? ... I may or may not have to punch her in the face.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _okay._

it would.  
of course, just use me to get answers. but... i tolerate you, if just a minuscule, i guess i'd give you the answer to that.

i guess.  
i'm nineteen and still pretty much alive. if it's going to kill me, i'll be at least forty.  
i will.  
i don't want to talk about it.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: i am trying valiantly not to start babbling, i hope you know_.

please, like you don't do exactly the same to me. you're using me for a _grade_!  
...and... thank you. for - that, I mean.

HA.  
but if you keep the drinking up, you'll be twenty-five and dead.  
...okay, if you're sure. but - just so you know - I'm always just an email away?

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _so babble._

this is true.  
i guess you're welcome. and we'd be even if you'd do the same to me. which, given from what i know about you, you'd do.

ha_ha_.  
surprisingly, i'm alright with this.  
i know.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: but if i start to babble i won't stop, and i'll talk about plagiarism and strawberries and screaming children, and it won't make sense. ... SEE WHAT I MEAN?_

see, you can't even deny it.  
you know me too well.

HAHA_HA_.  
...don't make me haul you to a hospital, because I can & I will.  
well. this is awkward.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
_Subject_: _plagiarism is stupid, strawberries are good, and screaming children are annoying. what's next?_

i never said i didn't know you well.

hahaha_ha_.  
you can't carry me nor haul me. something tells me your a munchkin.  
let's ignore it.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: i know it is, i like blueberries, and i really wish this year would be over, already_.

you do know me well - which is why I consider us friends.  
duh.

HAHAHAHA_HA_.  
I bet I could try. and if that doesn't work, I'll - I don't know. push you in front of a bus.  
agreed. how are you? wait, that's a stupid question. uhm. I don't know?

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

It felt like a scene out of _Mean Girls,_ Kisame thought as he listened to that mosquito of a dial tone buzz in his ear. His Bruce slippers squeaked at every heavy tap of his foot. The people downstairs had stopped banging on their ceiling everytime he did that ever since Itachi had gone to... _greet_ them. Kisame never knew what his moody roommate had said to get them to stop their annoying reaction to his foot tapping, but it was probably not words so much as head banging.

Kisame stood alert when he heard the multiple clicks on the other ends of the phone line.

"What the fuck, yeah? I was in the middle of my bubble bath, whatever bastard you are, yeah! And if Tobi was the one who changed my ring tone to that fruity song from hell, I will-."

"Oh, Tobi's_ Barbie Girl_ ringtone went off so Tobi was a good boy and answered it!"_  
_

"Start talking before I give you so many paper cuts the guys at the morgue won't be able to recognize what kind of organism you are."

"Who the fucking hell gave me Tobi's fucking cell number? I will send them to Jashin so fucking fast that their fucking mother won't be able to fucking recognize them."

"Talk."

Kisame cleared his throat importantly.

Everyone else kept arguing (or threatening) each other.

"Be quiet or I'll set my people on you!" He yelled, glaring at a spot on the wall.

Silence.

"Now, be at the meeting spot in twenty or I will find you and use your intestine as a net for my fish when I have to clean their tank and Itachi will use your eyes as light bulbs."

"Wha-?"

"YAY!"

"Huh?"

"What the fu-!"

"..."

"GO. NOW." Kisame slammed his phone shut.

Grumbling to himself, he set about tying his waterproof shoes on and grabbing his carrying fish tank, carefully settling it around his neck so that the glass rectangle was secure around his neck.

He always liked taking his babies back to see their mommy and daddy.

* * *

Tobi was positively _bouncing_.

He absolutely _loved_ the aquarium! All the little fishies in their tanks, and the pretty blue light that was just everywhere from the winter sun filtering through the water and, _oh_, it was just so _pretty_! Tobi giggled to himself softly.

"Hey, Maddy-chan!" he called over his shoulder.

His father grunted from inside the kitchen.

"I'm going to bother someone, 'kay? I'll be back later!" Tobi sang, as grabbed his jacket, and skipped out the front door. Madara, in the kitchen, waited until his son was gone, and the door was firmly closed, and breathed a sigh of relief.

Tobi, outside, giggled.

* * *

Hidan had that usual bored-confused-what-the-fuck-bitch scowl on his face. He ran a hand through his hair and stomped out of his apartment. He fingered the keys to his black motorcycle and mounted it with apparent ease. Before anything, though, he fished (haha, pun) his sunglasses out of one of the pockets of his leather jacket.

Honestly, Hidan thought Kisame was a total girl and fucking annoying, straight up. He was kind of wondering, though, what the hell had his panties in a bunch _this _time. Most probably had something to do with that damn weasel; Hidan knew Itachi was the most annoying of the group.

They should all definitely kick him out, or something.

Because, for fuck's sake, even _he _knew some things that Itachi clearly- - Wait!

Hidan didn't fucking like the damn fucking aquarium!

His growls and curses were left behind with the dust and the burnt tire-marks of his motorcycle.

* * *

Deidara liked taking long, heated bubble baths.

He did _not_ like being interrupted during one of those baths; it was one of the few times that he actually managed to slow down, and take a break from all of the mind-fuckery that went on around him on a daily basis. It was his _down-time_, okay? It was his _Deidara_ time.

And having that time interrupted was just _so_ uncool.

Deidara snarled, and tossed his head.

He was going to _kill_ Kisame.

* * *

Placing the bat down on the ground and leaning his weight on it, Sasori sighed. His eyes were closed and his unoccupied hand busied itself with making his red hair move out of his eyes. He was in the process of _entertaining _himself. Honestly. What the hell got Kisame to call him, in the middle of his Sasori Day Off From All These Idiots in which he went to the batting cages and... you, know, batted baseballs for fun?

He swears that if it has something to do with that god forsaken (yet totally awesome) club, he was going to make sure Kisame's hair disappeared entirely. And _don't _get him started if it has to do with Itachi. Because Itachi's problems were so fucking complex and annoying that Sasori actually stopped giving a fuck. Really, it became the best decision he ever made, after coming out; because coming out was alright, too. Even if, you know, the man within him still demanded to be dominant.

But, anyway...

The point is that his Sasori Day Off From All These Idiots came to a crashing halt and he was going to make people pay. Not to mention he was going to have to _leave _and actually see all these people again. Sasori shivered at the thought of Tobi.

Sighing one last time, he made the bat rest on the base of his neck, arms dangling on either side of it, and walked towards the exit of the batting cages.

He'd like to say he'd dunk Kisame into the water and have him swim with the fishes, but something told him the idiot would actually appreciate it; so instead, Sasori planned on stealing some of his goldfishes for a week or something. Give the man a heart attack, and it'd be a bonus.

* * *

The half of Konan's mind that wasn't on the Very Mysterious Shisui Dilemma was listening to her laptop, where _A Very Potter Musical_ was playing on Youtube. Shisui sat in front of it, but her eyes were hazy and looking more in the direction of the origami in Konan's hands.

Shisui... she was in bad enough shape as it is.

Pein was out of town for some club owner's convention and had left Konan in town. It had worked out just as well when she'd gotten Temari's frantic call, explaining what Kisame had told her. In her haste to try and find Shisui, Konan had almost tripped over a Shisui that was kind of huddled by her front door. She had probably been there a while, but... she just _sank_ there, like she had no backbone.

She wasn't crying.

She wasn't hitting things.

She wasn't running.

Shisui didn't _exist_.

Konan could understand if Shisui's reaction if she cried- the guy she had practically adored for... well, longer than Konan had known Shisui, had slept with this other woman. If Shisui had hit something- preferably one of Tobi's stuffed animals (Shisui would never do that because that would hurt Tobi)- that would have been _anyone's_ normal reaction, right? And running... that went without saying. Running was _Shisui_, Shisui was running.

Sweeping her arm across the table space she had been folding at, Konan watched all of the paper stars fall into her art portfolio. All the pretty paper cuts Kisame would get for making them meet at his "precious aquarium"... She gave a small sigh of pleasure.

Although she wanted to, she didn't blame Kisame for not stopping that damn weasel. Okay, maybe she did a little bit, but Itachi wasn't a man with a pliable mind and Kisame had always given him a lot of free rein, letting him get into plenty of scraps that hadn't exactly shaped his personality for the best. And then there was Itachi himself to be considered. He _obviously_ had some sort of feeling for Shisui that went beyond platonic, but he went around doing things that hurt himself and Shisui. He didn't take consequences into consideration- he was reckless as hell.

They were a fucked-up pair, Konan concluded.

"Shisui, Kisame called some emergency meeting. Just in case I'm not back soon, there's some sushi by the stove- don't turn the stove on, it's broken- and you know where the extra blankets and shit are."

As she walked out the door, she clearly heard the parody of Ron Weasley's voice say, "No, it's not that. It's Hermione. Just, like, I can't get her out of my head. Every time I look at her, I have these pains in my chest and I just know it's her fault, that bitch."

Konan stopped just outside her apartment's front door, her throat suddenly thick and she couldn't breathe.

It spoke to Shisui, she knew without a doubt. She couldn't help liking who she did, just like all of the other mortals in the world. They couldn't help liking someone who hurt them just like they can't help starting wars, eating all of the jelly beans except for the buttered popcorn ones, and leaving bleeding hearts wherever they went.

There was an elapsed moment of silence, where she heard _nothing_.

Then there was just a small click as Shisui gently closed Konan's laptop and probably sat there in silence.

Biting her bottom lip, Konan wondered if she could just ignore the meeting and stay with one of her best friends ever as she almost let herself... bleed to gray and die. She clenched her fists and stalked at the door, trying not to think backwards.

* * *

Hidan still had his glare on full blast as he parked his motorcycle (Tish) in the aquarium's parking lot. Dismounting the thing, he pocketed his keys and stalked his way towards the entrance of the place... And completely forgetting to fix his wind-raped hair.

And it's because of this that a lot of attention was directed towards him, what with a black leather jacket, black v-neck shirt, black jeans and black boots. Usually, Hidan would love the attention and he would most definitely get at least five numbers to some booty calls... But right now he was in Kill Kisame mode and girls and sex just didn't really get pass that.

"Why the fuck are we here," he growled as he found his mob lounging around by the shark tanks.

Sasori was the one that spared him a glance, "I don't know. Kisame's having a bitch moment, apparently. I wasn't allowed to bring in my bat."

Hidan sighed and shifted his weight from one leg to the other and ran a hand through his hair. "I feel fuckin' claustrophobic already. Where the hell is the Fish-Breath anyway?"

He glared once Tobi inched his way towards him.

"Alright! Speak up, dammit - I have things to do!" He glared and shoved Tobi away from his person.

* * *

Kisame walked out of the shadows by shark tank, rubbing his brow in frustration.

They'd been in the aquarium for a grand total of five minutes as they'd been waiting for Hidan and he was already wrestling Tobi to the ground. Tobi was wriggling all over the place, calling for Hidan to stop _tickling him_. Of course, that had merely infuriated Hidan further, too enraged to notice that everyone else was placing bets on how long it'd be until Hidan punched someone else who was _not_ Tobi.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kisame noticed the security guards reaching warily for their taser guns as the call of "Fight! Fight! Fight!" grew into a mighty roar.

"Guys. Stop it. Or I will use the fillet knife I bought for a completely different purpose than I had planned," he growled so only Hidan could hear. It wasn't like Tobi would understand the threat anyways.

Muttering darkly, Hidan stood up, pulling Tobi off the ground by his collar.

Shooing away all the people he didn't know with a glare promising evil things like soul-stealing, Kisame coughed. "I called this meeting to discuss Itachi and his relationship- or lack thereof- with all of you. I think it's time for an intervention."

* * *

Once that made way into Hidan's ears, he instantly groaned, slapped his thigh with one hand and ran the other one through his hair. Honestly, out of all the damn fucking things he could have called them all over for and it had to be about the idiotic Weasel.

"I know jack shit. Can I leave now?"

He watched with bored eyes as a vein throbbed at the side of Kisame's throat. "Don't make me use that fillet knife, Hidan."

Hidan snorted and rolled his eyes.

In all seriousness, he could care less about Itachi's love life and his relationships. He could be banging the queen of England for all he cared. Why must he sit (or stand) through all this damn torture? He groaned again and leaned against the nearest pole arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Fine, bitch. What about the idiot and his relationship that I really don't give a fuck about?"

* * *

He took a deep breath, trying to control the blood that was threatening to make him red in the face. Castrating Hidan would be a bad idea, even though he doubted that the man would be capable of coming up with some _helpful,_ non-destructive way to... fix Itachi's problem- no pun intended- anyway.

Kisame knew that the Itachi-Shisui time-space continuum had just about run its course. There was only so long that they could dodge whatever feelings or lack there of existed between them. They were dragging everyone into a quandary that they had no business in. It only made sense that the only way to get everyone out of it was to make one herculean effort together.

If Itachi and Shisui found each other during the whole solution, all the better for them all.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed how stiff Konan seemed. She wasn't biting her bottom lip as she always did while she was considering something. Instead, they were pressed tightly together and she seemed to _glare_ at Kisame.

While everyone else did their own discussing- Kisame faintly heard the words "gossip rag"- "emergency edition"- "earn a humongous profit"- "I've always wanted to pull a Rita Skeeter", he edged closer to the only woman in their little gang. "How is she?" he whispers.

Konan gave a minute twitch in response. It was like a shudder and helpless shrug all in one graceless movement.

All of these circumstances would lend itself into the most imperfect romance novel ever, was all she seemed to say. The guy drives away the girl he loves because he doesn't know how to express how he feels because he feels it is an abomination, this thing- this _love_- so he throws it far away. He throws it into her face, blinding her and leaving her in a worse place.

In the end, it is all unnecessary because they only see the parts of a big picture. They're missing some key information that would have allowed them happiness if they had been willing to take That One Chance. Everything nearly goes down in flames because _they believe they know themselves and each other._

Just thinking about Itachi and Shisui in that situation made Kisame grimace. Shisui was Itachi's cousin, but he tried to push her away without asking her what _her_ feelings were. But if Shisui and Itachi had that final confrontation...

It all brought to mind a nightmare Kisame had once.

It was the worst thing Kisame could imagine, in all honesty, involving both his roommate and his starcrossed... almost-lover- one of those situations where you have x seconds to save one of them- not both- one. Best friend or someone who was almost his niece... Roommate or the smiling flower-child... The images would tumble over and over in his head like cartwheels through gigantic hula hoops the size of the sun... One or the other... The other or the one... The two or none...

And he always knew what would happen.

It was quite like this situation actually.

He would let both of them go because, just like the sky and the earth- the sun and the moon- La and Tui- yin and yang, one could not exist without the other. They had their own values and their own lives, but neither contained meaning unless both were as one.

* * *

Sasori stared with bored-sleepy-looking tawny eyes as Kisame and Konan huddled away.

You know, he couldn't be bothered with this; he wasn't all that into gossip and he didn't want to get mixed into something that could either blow up and kill them all, or - ugh - sparkle into something pretty. It just wasn't... It was not his cup of tea. Sasori had seen these things go terribly, terribly bad from when they were all still in high school - he still cringed at the memories, whenever they came to the forefront of his mind (and that happened only rarely, when he wasn't carefully guarding his thoughts).

And he also remembered how damn glad he had been that he was not part, or not even _close _to being part of all that drama.

And now there was this.

Itachi and Shisui.

He didn't know what bothered him the most - Itachi's idiocy or Shisui's unable-ness to just... let it out. But then again, he couldn't just _blame _her for that. Chicks were always teetering on the edge of a cliff and they were frightened beyond belief to jump, and they were reluctant to go back to safe ground. So they just stay there, teetering - hoping some sort of parachute would appear; wishing the body of water or the rocks below were nothing but a pair of arms that would never let them go.

Sasori figured Shisui was no different.

That, and they were related.

Incest, baby.

But then again, Sasori found incest kind of sexy.

Sighing, Sasori gathered up the other idiots and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "So, what gives?"

"I don't give a fucking' shit," Hidan quickly answered.

Sasori smacked him upside the head.

"I get that, whore," he sneered. "But... What... I don't even fuckin' know."

They all sighed and remained silent, trying - yes, even Hidan - to think of _something_. At this ridiculous point, _anything _would be worth holding on to.

* * *

Deidara fanned himself.

The room was stuffy. And he _so_ had better things to do; with _this_ little love story, his beloved little side-project -a gossip rag (as-named-by-Sasori-but-it-didn't-matter-because-_damn_-was-he-hot) called _Kiss!Kiss!_- would sell like frerakin' _hotcakes_. It was going to be _wonderful_.

And Deidara was going to be rich. Of course he was excited.

"Please," he said, rolling sky-blue eyes. "Everyone knows that Itachi is so into Shisui, it's pathetic, yeah? I've never seen a boy more in love, in my life. As for Shisui-" he paused, and flipped his hair over his shoulder "-it's amazing she's dealt with him this long. If I was her, I would have jumped his bones a hundred years ago. They're both blind fools, yeah?"

He looked expectantly at his boyfriend. "Saso-kun?"

* * *

Sasori instantly twitched and turned to give the blond a light glare.

"Dei, I've told you I don't like that name."

He stared as Deidara gave him a tauntingly flirty smirk... And a blush soon came to sprinkle across Sasori's cheeks as his blond boyfriends smacked his ass. His eyes widened and he quickly coughed and turned away, blush darkening. "Uh... Well..."

"Oh, get a room, you sick fucks," Hidan growled.

"_Anyway_," Sasori sneered, glaring at Hidan before raking his eyes over the group. He stopped and stared at Tobi for a minute before going back to looking at the two other idiots that were more likely to help out rather than childishly whine to look at the other fishes. "So... What the hell do we do?"

"Go home," Hidan muttered. And he was instantly smacked. Again.

"Tobi wants to see the fishes!"

Sasori rubbed at his temples and sighed. "This is so high school."

* * *

Her eyes narrowed thinner than slits into a nightmare.

Marching up to the gossiping boys- because they was giggling like little girls between harassing each other- she grabbed the papers out of Deidara's hands and smacked each of them upside the head with it. Hidan glared at her and gave her a foul oath, as per usual; Sasori glared at her and grabbed at Deidara to keep him from tackling Konan to get his... work back.

Except for Tobi, because if Shisui ever found out (when she snapped out her living coma), Konan would be a dead woman walking.

And making Tobi even _pout_ was sad-making.

"What is this shit?" she hissed as she shuffled through it, scanning the sheets briefly. The words "Itachi", "Shisui", "steamy", "like Icha Icha", and "the real McCoy" (Konan would never have believed that they knew such... almost-intelligent phrases) popped out the most.

"Stop butting into someone else's life and get your own." She slapped Deidara upside the head again, but with her hand this time. But Konan paused, taking in the... intimate way Sasori had restrained him.

"I take that back... go get a hobby. Away from each other's... hands."

They were frustrating, she thought fiercely as she clenched Deidara's notes in her fists until they resembled nothing more than what Hidan's face would look like if she drove his motorcycle over it a few times.

They needed to _understand_ why the situation was so damn frustrating.

Konan started with, "I have something crazy to tell you all," but she got interrupted by several voices talking at once.

"You're cheating on Pein with another woman. I knew it."

"I know, I know, you want me."

"TOBI WANTS TO SEE THE FISHIES. HE DOESN'T CARE WHAT IS CRAZY."

"You're actually a man and you dominate Pein from behind?"

One glare. Four mouths shut themselves (Konan ignored how Sasori had to muffle Deidara). It was all she could do to not ask Deidara if it was some twisted dream of his, tell Sasori that adultery wasn't that sexy, drop-kick Hidan into the shark tank so they could get his big head, and lead Tobi by the hand to the clown fish tank.

But doing this would be almost as good.

"Shisui and Itachi aren't cousins."

She would never admit how satisfied she felt when Deidara shrieked like a valley girl on helium.

Konan pressed her lips together. Good girls didn't do that.

But then, Konan had never been very good at being good, in the first place.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**You people. Are incredible. Just. Holy fuck. Could we have a repeat performance of all those reviews? Please? It legit made all our lives.**


	31. how to shatter yesterday's dreams

this... this makes us want to cry... (i say us in reference to les and Saraa... it really just... yeah. we cried muchly while writing this. and we cried every time we edited it, too. which was a lot, given that it was written in like December. :S)  
**Disclaimer**: the breaking of Maeve and Consuela belong to us. but nothing else.  
**Dedication**: to... to... WAIL. to seeing things the wrong way. to expecting the worst. & to finding that maybe it was- & is- love. To standing on cliffs and listening to the plinking of a piano. to All Time Low.

THANK YOU FOR THE NINE-HUNDRED REVIEW MARK. WE LOVE YOU ALL.  
special thanks to **QuotingShakespear** for being particularly awesome, and being our nine-hundreth reviewer. you are clearly the most awesome person ever. :D

* * *

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* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _how's my favourite girl?_

Anko's being scary again.

Help me babe, she's giving me that evil, shit-eating grin!

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _she's fine - i think i just saw her... :D_

Really now? Kakashi's reading his porn and giggling like a total girl.

Ew. Is she on some sort of drug? Pills? She needs to be prescribed with some meds, she's _scarring _and I haven't even met her.  
Babe, do you need a hug? Wink.

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _good, if you see her again, could you tell her i miss her already?_

I'm sorry you have to deal with him.  
He was my favourite teacher, though, senior year. :D

Nah, she's just nuts. I don't _want_ you to meet her - she'd try to break you.  
At this point in time, I'm thinking I need more then a hug.

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _i'll be sure to let her know asap._

He's amusing.  
And I think he has a girlfriend. He's either reading porn, or on the computer or on his cellphone.  
I wonder who deemed him worthy to teach a bunch of teenagers.  
(Kakashi _is _awesome.)

I think Anko should meet Kakashi. Maybe then they could, like, balance each other. Babe, if she tries to break me, you'll protect me, won't you?  
Huh. Really. Maybe you should come pick me up after school, then.

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _cool. do you think she'll smile?_

Kakashi... and a girlfriend...  
She'd have to be one pretty twisted female.  
Probably the same person who deemed Anko worthy of teaching. Dude should be violently killed.  
(Heh, that he is.)

Babe, you have _no idea_ how that would go.  
They'd probably end up thinking something up that would be cruel and unusual punishment.  
Huh. Maybe I should. Want to grab some coffee (which is actually hot chocolate)?

-K9

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _i told her. she gave off this bright smile. it was so pretty._

I know, doesn't it sound wrong?  
She'd have to be a dominatrix. I mean, to put up with such a perv.  
He/she should. Look what it's doing to us innocent people.  
(Indeed.)

I don't really think I _want _to know... Or maybe I do. I'm curious.  
They'll probably end up doing something along the lines of... I'm not even going to go there.  
Yeah, I think you should. I'd love to.

-Bombshell

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _i know. she's always especially pretty when she smiles._

The _thought_ is scarring - I hope I never have to see it in person.  
Completely. That would be as bad as... I dunno, Anko and Kakashi, dating.  
Heh, innocent? Where did _that_ come from, miss?  
(Just don't ask him about the potato-cannon experiment. He's never gonna forgive me or Sharkbait for that one...)

...I think if Anko and Kakashi dated, some _very_ bad things would happen in this world...  
Meet me at the park, then? I should be off work by four...

-K9

* * *

**From: Mutt  
To: Douchebag.  
...dude... i think i'm in love. fuck. what do i do?**

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _is she really? hm, i suppose she is._

Kakashi's handsome... he can pull it off.  
But it'd be cute, babe! Just imagine... Maybe they'll get all giggly and such.  
Of course innocent. It came out of an innocent girl such as myself!  
(Part of me wants to know now.)

OR maybe they'll have pretty babies.  
Okay, I'll be there. Don't take _too _long.

-Bombshell

* * *

**From: Douchebag  
To: Mutt  
...Dude...Seriously...Dude...Just...Dude...**

* * *

To: runwarygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _she knows it makes me grin, too_

You don't know Anko, love. (...I'm cooler then he is.)  
I think Anko would... probably own his soul by the end of the day...  
Innocent. Hah.  
(You really, _really_ don't want to know.)

Any child of Anko and Kakashi's would be a damn terror.  
I'll try not to be. You get off at 3:15, right?

-K9

* * *

**From: Mutt  
To: Douchebag  
WTF am i supposed to DO? i think i fucking love her!**

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _i think she does know. i think she likes it when you grin._

I'm starting to think she's not as bad as you make her sound. (...Huh. Is that jealousy I spy?)  
I think she would. And I think it's super cute! This could possibly be my second OTP.  
...I think I'm going to have to prove how innocent I am now.  
(No, I want to know now. And you're going to tell me.)

Noooo. Any child of Anko and Kakashi's would be the next Axe-Model.  
Yeah, I do.

-Bombshell

* * *

**From: Douchebag  
To: Mutt  
DUDE. HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, RICO SUAVE? Just...Go with it, man. She must be something if she makes you feel like that****.**

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _really, does she? what does she like about it?_

She's a hundred times worse then I make her sound. (...Not at all.)  
You want proof? She licked the side of some guy's face a while ago, and then proceeded to verbally rape his ears... scariest thing I've ever seen.  
OTP? What?  
How are you going to prove this innocence, kiddo?  
(That is one thing I'm keeping secret, babe.)

...That's so terrifying on so many levels. The world... would never be the same...  
Okay. Park, at four?

-K9

* * *

**From: Mutt  
To: Douchebag  
YOU'RE NOT HELPING. what do i say to her? how do i even FACE her? ... i feel like i'm flying when she's anywhere in my vicinity.**

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _yeah, she does. a lot. she likes how adorable and childish it makes you look._

Liarrrrrr. You probably hold respect for her or something. (...Are you _sure_?)  
Oh my fucking god. She's so... sadistic! She'll make very good friends with Machete.  
OTP... One True Pairing, babe.  
Oh my god, that's cheating! You know that name makes me blush. But you'll see. Don't expect _too _much today.

That's super inspiring on so many level! I hope I'm still alive for _that_. The world will be happy!  
Yeah. I'll just hang out here for a while.

-Bombshell

* * *

**From: Douchebag  
To: Mutt  
DUDE. I'M JUST A GUY. Say "Hi" and then just talk to her? You face her - dude, you just look at her in the face and talk. Simple. Dude, seriously? Just... Hold your wings down - or make her fly with you.**

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _adorable and_ _childish? that's a new one. tell her i think she's cute for me, would you?_

I respect her because she scares the living shit out of me. (...Maybe just a little.)  
Anko and Machete... from what I've heard of Machete, she seems like a smaller, slightly less evil version of Anko. That would be World Doom.  
Really. I... clearly didn't know that.  
I know it makes you blush, that's why I use it. I'm just expecting a hug, babe. What, I can't even expect that?

The world would be trembling in terror. Period.  
Are you sure you're okay? I could ditch out a little early, I think...

-K9

* * *

**From: Mutt  
To: Douchebag  
...that was the GAYEST thing you've ever said to me.**

* * *

To: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _pffft. that's what she says. but it's true. i'll tell her - but she'll just blush, i bet._

You respect her because she is most probably amazing. (...D'aw. You're too cute.)  
...You know what, yes, you're right. I hope they _never _meet. Unless they have already... Hm.  
I can tell. Get with the program, babe. Do you have an OTP?  
Which is why it's _cheating_. Nope - not even a hug. That's how innocent I am.

Noooooo. The world would be blinded by the epic cuteness!  
No, it's okay. You gotta make that money! :D

-Bombshell

* * *

**From: Douchebag  
To: Mutt  
...DUDE. I'M TRYING HERE, FUCK. I'VE NEVER FELT LIKE THAT, I'VE NEVER WATCHED CHICK-FLICKS. HOW THE FUCK AM I S'POSED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO?**

* * *

To: runwaygoddess  
From: WhoLetTheDogsOut  
Subject: _ha, tell her not to worry, and that i'll see her soon. and that she's really pretty when she blushes._

Like I said, babe, I respect her because she scares the living shit out of me... Actually, she scares the living shit out of my entire class. (Only about you.)  
I completely agree with you... Fuck, that would be scary as hell.  
Besides you and I? No.  
It's not _cheating_. It's just being smart. ;) And that's not fair, and you know it.

I think the world would be shivering in horror.  
And I hate being broke. But I'll see what I can do.

-K9

* * *

**From: Mutt  
To: Douchebag  
you are no help. none. and i dunno, talk to dead-last, he's always ranting about that chick he's dating... whatshername, hinata?**

* * *

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* * *

Kiba just stood there, shaking.

He wasn't even sure what he was feeling - his stomach was clenchy-knotty-kind-of-hellish and he was pretty much blinded by the jealous rage that had seized him right at that second. The one girl he had _actually_ cared about -

Fuck, he didn't even know what to think.

Watching Ino kiss another dude was kind of like watching a train wreck. It was horrifying, but at the same time, he couldn't look away - part of him wanted to burn the image of her cheating on him into his brain. It would just be another reason to never expose his heart to _anyone_, ever again.

He kind of thought he loved her. And he'd _almost_ - fuck - he'd _almost_ thought she might have felt something like the same. But apparently, she didn't.

His heart hurt.

Fuck.

"Hey, Ino!" he yelled. His hands where shoved into his pockets, and he couldn't stop shaking. Fuck - just, just fuck, this would take some serious alcohol to forget. Alcohol and cigarettes and, fuck, if it came down to it, maybe some ice. Or weed. Or something. Anything.

* * *

Ino stared at Itachi's blackblackblack eyes.

They were pretty, she'd admit it - they just... weren't brown; they weren't the darkest of brown. They weren't. And Ino...

She bit her lip and furrowed her brow and looked to the side, still facing him. She actually had _no _idea what was going on, _no _control; she's lost her grip and it was taking so much work to grasp it again. She'd like to think she'd just go with the flow from here, but she didn't want to go with the flow. She wanted control. She wanted to _know _what was going to come next. She wanted... She wanted Kiba.

That was it.

Forget her flirtatiousness. Forget her flailing over cute boys.

She wanted Kiba.

And this guy in front of her was not him.

"Hey, Ino!"

Ino blinked her sapphire eyes and - she knew that voice, she knew it - slowly, hesitantly, cautiously, turned around. And at the sight of him, staring at her with... with... was that heartbreak in his eyes?

Bright blue eyes widened and teared up in the spot - she knew where this was going to go. And her heart began to ache as she slowly shook her head.

"N-no... Kiba...I-"

Itachi was completely out of the picture as she began to slowly, hesitantly, cautiously walk towards him. A sob was about to escape her, hand slowly raising up as an attempt to grasp him from leaving her.

Because he was going to do it.

She just knew it.

He was.

"Ki-Kiba..."

And distantly, very distantly, she noted that this must be what watching someone shatter was like.

* * *

Kiba jerked away from her reaching hand. His hands stayed jammed into his pockets, fingers clenched into fists, nails biting into the flesh of his palms.

"Don't fucking _touch_ me," he sneered at her.

She flinched. "Don't! You're just - you're jumping to conclusions!"

Breathing was hard, and Kiba could only snarl at her "Jumping to fucking conclusions, am I? Then what the fuck is this, huh, Ino? What the _fuck_ is _this_?"

Her white-blonde hair fell across her dew-drop eyes, and Kiba felt his heart clench. Fuck. He'd fallen in love with that look. Love. Fuck. Look where _that_ got him. He was standing there, in front of the _only_ girl he'd actually cared about; the girl he was willing to give up sleeping around for -hell, the girl he _had_ given up sleeping around for-, and she just... fuck, she didn't even fucking care at all.

Something swelled inside Kiba; it was something dark and nasty. It was something that wanted her to _hurt_ the way he was _hurting_ right at that moment. Everything hurt. And she was just standing there like this had absolutely no affect on her. Darkly, he said the one thing he promised himself he'd never say to her - he told her she was just like everyone else.

"You know, I _actually_ thought you were different from every other slut I've dated. I really actually thought that. And I was wrong. Fuck it, Ino, I'm fucking done."

* * *

Her eyes widened, tears leaking out by the gallons.

"P-please! Kiba... Don't... Just... Please listen to me!"

She looked up, the sobs trying to break loose causing her lower lip to tremble in pure agony. _She _was in pure agony - no... _he _was in pure agony. And it was _her _fault. All her _fucking _fault. Ino had promised she was going to be better, do better, try harder - for _him_. And she messed it all up in a minute.

The sobs escaped and she hugged herself.

"It's not what it looked like! I-"

"Shut _up_." He was snarling, causing her to shake and practically _wail_. Because this wasn't the way things were supposed to go; they were supposed to be _happy_. Together. Him and her.

"Kiba...Pl-please..."

She took a step closer to him, fighting the urge to wrap her arms around him. Oh, she wished they could just disappear. Together. Him and her. Somewhere far, where they could talk. Where they could be together.

_Happy._

"I..."

"_Shut up_."

"Would you just _listen_? _Please_?" Ino looked up at him, eyes still letting the tears over flow and then cascade down her cheeks, nose turning pink, lips still trembling. And the look that he was giving her made her break slowly. Oh so damn slowly, that it fucking hurt. So fucking much. "Kiba!"

_Please... Please... Don't do this to me... Not you... Please..._

* * *

He only said three words.

"I'm. Fucking. Done."

He turned away, then. He didn't want to see her face - didn't want to see the fake denial, didn't want to see the fake hurt, didn't want to see the fake tears. He didn't want to see it. Because if he saw it, he would want to care. If he saw it, he'd want to punch the guy that caused it's lights out.

Because then he would remember that he was the one who'd caused it, and his stomach would end up in his throat, his heart would end up around his knees, and he'd want to up-chuck everything he'd eaten that day (given, it wasn't that much, but the sentiment was there).

_Don't turn around, man,_ Kiba told himself. _She's not even fucking worth it_.

He clenched his jaw, and stiffened his back. He was _not_ going to break in front of her.

The nasty, dark cloud in his chest expanded a little more. He was almost _blind_ with the thick blanket of rage - he could taste it on his tongue. As if he hadn't hurt her enough (and he knew he was hurting her, but _fuck it_, he didn't _care_ anymore), he said, his back still turned, "It was all a game, anyways. I'm outta here. Peace."

* * *

Her eyes widened and, though the tears kept spilling, _everything stopped._

And all she felt now was pure unadulterated _rage_.

She ground her molars and took the quick steps it took for her to reach him and took a grasp of his arm, whirled him around with the strength she did not _know _she had. And her blue eyes - she _forced _him to lock his eyes with hers. And she snarled.

"Don't you _dare _fucking turn your back on me!"

She was pissed - more than pissed, but right now she was not sane enough to think of the appropriate term. She was in the process of shaking in pure anger, she wanted to... _fuck _did she want to punch something - _hurt someone, anyone_.

"Who the _fuck _do you think you are? Because let me tell you, asshole, you are _not _high and mighty enough to talk to _me _like that!"

He snatched his arm back to his person and away from her grasp. But Ino wouldn't have it. She wouldn't.

She grasped his shirt and clenched her fist around the material.

"_Listen _to _me _Kiba. Listen. Go ahead and say it was all a game - maybe it was. Maybe it _fucking _was. I don't _fucking care_. Alright? _I don't_. But I'll be _fucking _damned if I let you turn your back on me and walk away with the last words. So here are _my _last words."

And she ignored the tears that kept spilling, ignored the cracks on her fragile heart, ignored the urge to hug him.

"You. Meant. Nothing. It was a game to you? It was a game to me, too. You want to be a fucking _kid about this_, fine. I'm _not _going to kiss ass. Forget this. Forget _me._ I'm _through."_

And as she whirled the other way and started to walk far, far, far away from him, she ignored the broken pieces of her heart as they laid on the ground where she had stood.

* * *

Kiba grinned bitterly to himself, and watched her retreating back.

Fine. She could have the last word. But she sure as fuck wasn't going to have the last fucking laugh. He was going to write himself into her _blood_; was going to tattoo his name onto her _heart_, so that every fucking waking moment, she'd think about him. He didn't fucking care if he didn't even mean anything to her. She was _never_ going to forget him. He wouldn't _let_ her.

Kiba let a burst of speed hit him, and sprinted after her. He whipped her around, much as she had to him previously, and carefully cradled her face in his hands.

Her eyes were closed, tears sparkling around the rims and clumping her dark blonde lashes together, her face clear of any emotion. She whispered into the cold air, her voice low "I hate you so much."

She really was... so very beautiful.

"I know," he whispered back, and then he was kissing her, and it was heaven, heaven, heaven, because kissing Ino was like kissing no other person on the earth. Lips, her lips were perfect, he'd always thought that. Actually, all of Ino was perfect. She was - that goddamn _kiss_ was molten lava and anger and _hatred_ and _want_ and all the most private secret things that Kiba wished so desperately to keep hidden in his chest.

_Write your goddamn name on her goddamn heart_, he thought as he pulled away.

She was shivering in his arms, her eyes still closed. He stared at her, hard, for another ten seconds, memorizing her face, memorizing the lines that made her up, memorizing the way her lashes sat on her cheeks. And then very, very gently, he bent, and kissed her eyelids. Left first, then right. Just like always. He felt her break a little more in his arms.

_Write your goddamn name on her goddamn heart_, he thought again.

"Fuck you, you whore," he said.

And then he was gone.

* * *

Ino...

Ino had _no idea _how she got into her car. No damn idea how she managed to drive without causing an accident. She decided that after that mind-blowing kiss he gave her, she went numb; turned into a zombie, just working along and having no such purpose. But if she went numb, if she turned into a zombie... why did her tears keep coming? Why... why did her heart ache _so fucking much_?

If she was numb, wasn't she supposed to _not _feel anything?

She bit at her lower lip, but then she ceased the action - _he _kissed those lips. She wanted to keep that feeling with her. No matter what.

(_All the small things  
True care, truth brings  
I'll take one lift, your ride  
Best trip  
Always, I know  
You'll be at my show...)_

At the song, Ino sobbed, loud, hard, in pure anguish. She clenched the steering wheel, eyes cloudy with tears as she cried.

This was _their _song.

They quoted this song when they first met.

Her heart clenched into a tighttight knot and Ino was hurting.

She turned the radio off.

When she reached the beige house that she knew by heart, she practically threw herself out of the car and ran down the walkway, up the three steps and began to knock. To ring the bell.

"KARIN! KARIN! PLEASE, OPEN! KARIN, I NEED YOU! PLEASE..." She slid down the door and to the ground, on her knees.

And she cried.

* * *

Five minutes later, Karin was in the most awkward predicament of her entire life. Ino was a crying, snotty mess in her arms, and while Ino was prone to dramatics, there were only two other times Karin could recall when her oldest friend had appeared before her in such a state of what looked like utter despair.

The first time was when Ino's mother had disappeared - Ino had been a mess for _days_; hadn't slept, hadn't eaten, hadn't even really _existed_ until Kurenai had shown up, and forced Ino to dance the grief out of herself. The second time had been... Sasori; Karin didn't even want to _think_ about what happened _there_.

So, this third time... No shit with the girls had arisen (read: Tenten was playing nice), and school had never been a problem for pretty Ino. So then it had to be... that fucking _man_. Kiba.

Karin had a sudden, very serious urge to _bang her head against a wall_. **_Hard_**.

_THIS_ was why Karin absolutely refused to have good relations with that jerk (read: Jailbait) in person - something like _this_ was liable to happen (as it was, being fuck buddies / almost friends / maybe-sort-of living together -or whatever the hell it was they were -she felt her stomach drop to approximately her knees- [and, _god_, this wasn't fair, but Karin couldn't -_wouldn't-_ put a boy, no matter how sweet he was, in front of her friends] was likely going to stop _right this fucking instant._ His best friend had just broken her best friend's heart. And that was Just Not Cool). And they had all thought it would have been Hinata to get her heart broken. But it wasn't - it was Ino, it was always Ino.

Karin hugged her friend tightly. "Hush, honey, it's okay, we'll get you sorted out. Tell Karin what happened. Who hurt you? Who does Karin have to kill?"

Ino simply sobbed a little harder. _Bah_, Karin thought, _why do I even try? I already know who it is - I _always_ know who it is, because I know these idiots I call friends_.

"Hold on, love, I'm going to call Sakura, and we'll make everything better. Trust me, everything will be better. Just breathe deeply, and _do not_ drown in your own tears, because that would be a damn shame. And Kurenai would hurt me. And we don't want that, because I'm too pretty. Now, c'mon, let's get you some chocolate and some Blink-182, and you'll feel better..."

Karin was utterly baffled when Ino started crying harder, sobs wrenching themselves out of her throat. Okay, it wouldn't be the chocolate - Ino did not attach something as godly as _chocolate_ to _men_, except for the sole purpose of getting over break-ups...

"...Which was your and his song? Because, Blink? Really? Least romantic thing ever."

And then Karin realized she probably wasn't helping Ino's case at all, and that she needed back-up. True, complete heart-break was not something she was capable of handling on her own. She needed back-up for this.

But even as Karin hit speed-dial 3 -Sakura's number-, she could feel the rage boiling through her veins. Christ, _more_ dismembering was in order, and Karin was _so_ not going to have a good track record with murders when this was all said and done.

She sighed, and listened to the ring twice, and then Sakura picked up.

_"Hel-lo?"_

Karin didn't let Sakura get another word in.

"It's Karin. We have a situation - like yours. It's - I can't describe it. Ino just got her heart broken. Badly. Like, she hasn't been this bad since... well, the last red-headed jerk who turned on her, in more ways then one was _nothing_ compared to this. D'you wanna get over here so that I don't go hunt the jerk who hurt her down with a baseball bat right now? Good, 'kay, thanks."

Sakura, on the other end of the line, listened to the dial tone in horror.

* * *

"Hold me," she whispered - it wasn't even a whisper, it was the air itself. Her lips barely moved as she had said it. "Please hold me... Don't let me go."

Karin's rage hesitated for a sliver of a second as pure pain welled up inside her just at the sight of such a strong girl breaking down to such tiny pieces. But the anger was too much, far, far too much. She wrapped her arms around the blond and cradled her close, swayed her from side to side like a mother did when she tried to cease her baby's crying.

Ino rested her head on Karin's chest, eyes closed shut, tears still spilling. Karin's heartbeat was fast, too fast, she noted. She wanted to hurt Kiba, Ino knew.

Was it alright if Ino wished she _didn't_ do it?

She sobbed.

This pain? It was _one hundred times worse _than the pain she felt when Sasori went all rainbow on her. Because yes, she _did _care for Sasori; it had been more than like, less than love, but not lust. It was somewhere in the middle. He meant a lot to her, _a lot_, a lot.

But Kiba... Kiba meant the world to her. He was everything she had ever wanted. And it killed her inside, made her hate herself for allowing him to take her heart so quickly. But he was amazing - she knew he was going to be different from the start. Upon receiving his message for the first time, her heart beat had escalated, her cheeks had flushed at his words, her body had sent tingles.

"Play the song," she demanded after minutes upon minutes of crying.

"_What _song?" Karin asked.

"_The_ song," she said, sitting up, wiping every single tear away from her cheeks and her eyes; yet careful not to touch her lips or her eyelids - those were _his_. She grabbed her hair, finger combed it back into a messy bun and she wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging them to her aching chest. "The one I'm _always _singing. Play it. I want to hear it - keep it on repeat."

"Ino."

"Do it, Karin." And years of friendship allowed Karin to hear the unspoken plea.

"Aiyaa..." Karin muttered grumpily as she got up and searched for her Enema of the State CD; but then she remembered it was already on her stereo (screw her laptop, it was off anyway and it'd be a pain to wait for it to turn on and load). She turned the stereo on and pressed the button with the 2 and then skipped to the right number.

And then the song played.

And then Ino cried silent tears as she listened.

(_Say it ain't so  
I will not go  
Turn the lights off  
Carry me home)_

Ino let a broken exhale out of her lips and she continued to listen. Fuck, was she so masochistic. Dut she was promising herself, after this - after all this remembrance of him, she _wasn't _going to think about him. _I won't._

(_Late night, come home  
Work sucks, I know  
She left me roses by the stairs  
Surprises let me know she cares)_

And she sang, softly, to herself - to him, even if he couldn't hear her.

That's when Sakura walked in.

(_Say it ain't so  
I will not go  
Turn the lights off  
Carry me home  
Keep your head still  
I'll be your thrill  
The night will go on...)_

"My little windmill."

* * *

Sakura stood in the hallways for a few minutes, her eyes closed as she listened to the sound of a heart breaking to pieces to the sound of "All the Small Things". It was like watching Psycho on silent while having "It's a Small World After All" playing. It felt all_ wrong_ and all she could think was how could something that Ino and Kiba had go so imperfectly wrong. They were like that one couple you see in high school, where, with just _one_ look, you could tell that they were just Meant To Be.

But apparently they're Meant To Be Broken.

Right before the last chorus, she left the sanctuary of the hallway where she could rest her head against the wall and forget that as much as boys bring love and acceptance, they also bring pain and rejection.

She entered a room with a mood like a funeral, the sunflowerdaisydandelion yellow mocking all who dared walk in with anything less than a smile on their face. After glaring at the walls and mentally giving them the finger, Sakura descended upon Ino and gave her as much comfort as one hug could ever give and a light kiss on the top of her head before allowing Ino to bury her face in her shoulder.

"Shhh, it's okay," she cooed as she rocked her back and forth gently.

Sakura needed to repeat it several times before Ino's sobs calmed down. They weren't just hiccups yet, but she no longer sounded quite like a fog horn each time she used one of the tissues Karin handed her every few seconds.

"Now, can you tell Sakura what happened?"

She could feel Ino tense in her arms and she swore that that boy had better have a damn good reason for doing this to one of her best friends.

* * *

She didn't want to tell them. She really didn't.

Because maybe this was all her fault. Maybe _she _was the one who broke _his _heart. But the irony was that she didn't know why or how. Well... She knew how - she just didn't know _how _how. She wasn't doing anything wrong, honest.

Okay, so maybe she had _one _fling with Uchiha Itachi; _whatever_. He was nothing - he meant _nothing _compared to what Kiba meant to her. If she was with him, it was for someone else's cause. Nothing to do with her.

She supposed this was what happens when you try to fuck with time or fate or both, or whatever other powerful force there was.

"I..."

Ino couldn't really handle the pain she was feeling right now; there was so much pain in her life. She'd endure so much in her eighteen years of life; she wished it all ended. She wished she could fall asleep and never wake up, stay in a sweet, peaceful slumber forever and never have to wake to this harsh life but rather stay in her own world where it was peaceful where everything was alright.

"I was," was that really _her _voice? It was so broken, so hoarse, so... lost. "I was with Itachi."

She heard the sharp intake of breath from both of her best friends and she couldn't help but flinch back and grow limp in Sakura's arms.

"WHAT?" That was Karin.

"INO, _WHY_?" And that was Sakura.

She stood up from her seat in between them and began to pace around, throwing her arms in the air, stomping - _anything _that could help her _vent_. She was like a volcano delayed to explode. And each second it was delayed the power and the molten lava got all the worse.

"It was nothing like _that_!" She pulled at her hair, causing some strands to fall out of the messy bun. "I was _talking _to him about Shisui! Nothing about _us_. I... I... It was... I don't _know _what it seemed like from Kiba's point of view but... After that he said some hurtful things-"

Karin and Sakura began to growl at that.

"-But so did I! And... I... I..." She stopped her attempt at trying to explain herself. She stood there, in the middle of the room, nostrils flaring, lower lip trembling, eyes watering; and she turned to stare at her two best friends, allowing them to see her completely broken.

"It hurts," she slowly rose her hand to touch the spot where her heart was, "right here. A lot."

Something told Ino she was now a broken rag-doll. And there really wasn't anyone with the expertise to sew her back together again.

Well... no one willing... No one with the right magic.

She let a bitter laugh escape her, "I'm a mess... A complete, stupid, idiotic mess. God, I _suck_."

* * *

Karin stood in the middle of the pale yellow room -incidentally, her mother's favourite colour; on principle, Karin despised it-, her hands on her hips, and her lips pursed. "Let me get this straight. You're in love with him. And you both _clearly_ just had the biggest fight of your lives, and you both said things that are hard to take back. So it was a general fuck-up for no reason _at all_."

When Ino nodded, her eyes downcast, Karin let out a deep, tired sigh, and reached over to hug the blonde. She said "What the hell is this, seriously, first Sakura, now you - shit happens, honey. If he cares about you at all, it'll work out."

Ino shook her head, and hid her face in Karin's neck. It was all she could do murmur brokenly "I didn't mean to, I swear Candii, I _swear_..."

Karin sighed again, and both she and Sakura squeezed Ino's body between them tightly, in the biggest, most supportive best friend hug _ever_. The group hug was one of the few things the three girls could depend on - that they would always be friends, no matter what. Had Hinata and Tenten been with them, they, too, would have been hugging Ino with all their might.

It was a girl thing, something Karin could never expect a participant of the male species to comprehend.

The red-head pulled back from her friends, and smiled. "Let's get some ice cream and some Disney, and then we'll get Tenten to hunt him down at throw stones at his stupid head. You deserve better, sweetie. He didn't even give you the chance to explain. And you totally deserve that, and so much more. So smile, okay?"

Ino smiled a tired, watery smile, and let Sakura lead her away. It was silent, save for Ino's muffled sniffles, and Sakura's gentle 'hush'-ish noises.

Karin quietly swore vengeance.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

The phone rang four times, and Kiba almost didn't want Suigetsu to pick up. It would make the jumping thing a lot easier.

"_What the- fuck, Mutt, what is it?_"

Kiba took a shaky breath. "I fucked up, man. I just - just fucked up. Ino... I - Christ. Fuck. She was - fuck, she was fucking tongue-fucking Itachi. I think I'm going to be sick."

The breathing on the other end of the line froze. "_Mutt, don't do anything. Where the hell are you?_"

"I don't even fucking know," Kiba chuckled out bitterly. "I don't... fuck. I don't even care."

"_You do fucking care, douchebag. Just... don't move. Unless you're in the middle of a street or something. Because then you might get hit by a bus. So... fuck, what do you see?_"

Kiba shot a glance around him. What _did_ he see? He saw a supermarket - and he thought of how her favourite fruit was starfruit, and how when she cut them up, she would smile spectacularly at each piece before chomping down on it. He could see a bus stop - and he thought of kissing her as the first snow fell at another bus stop in what felt like another life time, under cover of an old, broken black umbrella. He could see - fuck. Every single thing he could see - she was there in it. She was there in all of it.

He could hear his own thoughts echoing tauntingly back at him - _write your goddamn name on her goddamn heart_.

And fuck if she hadn't done the same.

* * *

Suigetsu jumped off of his bed, ignored the fact that he was in nothing but his black skinnies, white wife-beater and white converses and ran out of his room, out the door.

"Mutt, don't fucking play with me. Where the fuck are you?"

Kiba didn't answer.

"Kiba! Answer, asshole!"

Suigetsu met Kiba a while back. In eighth grade, he thought it was. They had gotten into an awful fight because they didn't mix; they had gotten suspended for three days and two weeks worth detention. During said detention, they bonded and something clicked. Now they were practically inseparable - or as inseparable as guys could get.

Not to mention that Suigetsu has gotten mildly protective of his best friend - he didn't know how or why. He just did. And right now?

Suigetsu was pissed as _hell_.

"Kiba. For fuck's sake where. The. Fuck. Are. You?" He was running down the streets now. Amethyst eyes darted all over the place, searching and searching but not finding. His silver-white hair flew all over the place, sometimes covering his vision and it irked him.

Where could Kiba go?

Not his car.

No... Something told Suigetsu that he wasn't working on the car.

"KIBA?"

_"Calm down... I... Fuck. Just..._ fuck._"_

Suigetsu continued to run, trusting the gut feeling when it came to turns. He was sprinting now, sprinting so fast, cursing and cursing and cursing. And _fuck_, that dumbass better not be committing suicide. He better not. Because Suigetsu knew Kiba fell hard for that blond chick. He knew - Kiba told him so himself.

Fuck!

He was anxious now.

"Alright. Alright. Alright..."

* * *

"I'm fine, dude."

"_You're fine, my fucking ass. Just stop - whatever it is your doing, your fucking denial or whatever, and _tell. me. where. you. are. _If you fucking die on me, Kiba..._"

Kiba rubbed his forehead. He really had no idea where he was - he needed some alcohol, and _fast_. "I'm... somewhere. Get my keys. I dunno. I - dunno. I think I'm at that supermarket on fourth and eighth. I dunno."

_"Don't do anything that'll get you killed, you fucker. Just... _don't go anywhere_. I'll be there in five."_

"Whatever, dude, I'm fine."

Kiba clicked the phone closed before Suigetsu could say anything more then _"You _FUCKHEAD_, YOU'RE NOT-",_ and threw it in the opposite direction. The crash it made was satisfying, and suddenly Kiba just wanted to _break_ things - wanted to break them and break them until he just didn't _feel_ anymore.

Actually, what he really wanted was to get the hell out of Konoha.

Perpetual motion. He had to _go_. Leave, run, get the hell away from this place and the memories it held - her memories. He wasn't going to kill himself - Kiba knew Suigetsu, knew his mind would go there first, but Kiba wasn't ready to die.

He just needed to get away. And he would. He'd tell Anko to shove her goddamn assignment up her ass, that he was taking an extended leave of absence. Maybe he'd go to Suna - see Lee, get some sun.

Something in the back of his mind whispered _if you leave, you're not coming back. Not even if you run out of gas. Name on her heart, name on your heart. You fucked yourself over, stupid. You're good at running_.

Kiba hated himself, and sat on the curb, and waited for Suigetsu to find him.

* * *

He'd never really ran this fast in his life.

Not even for football back in high school. He was fast, he knew, but this was faster than fast - this speed was faster than a _sprint_. It was the anxiety he was feeling at the moment that was fueling him; Suigetsu has never really been this anxious in his life either.

Okay, he knew Kiba like the back of his hand - he wouldn't _really_ go off and kill himself (but it was impossible to blame Suigetsu for having that as a first thought). Kiba was... Kiba was rambunctious, impulsive...

Suigetsu turned on fourth and ran down-down-down; there went fifth, there went sixth, seventh... He came to a stop right at the interception of eighth and fourth and allowed his eyes to search. Kiba was nowhere, though - there was no sight of that fucking Mutt!

So Suigetsu went stiff and looked up at the rooftops and almost hesitantly turned to the rooftop of the supermarket and there he saw Kiba. Standing on the edge, hands stuffed inside his pockets, looking around, hair whipping around into an even messier style than usual.

Fuck, he knew showing Kiba the broken fire-escape in the ally was going to come back and bite him in the ass. Suigetsu sighed, and although completely out of breath, he jogged towards the ally; he didn't even have to pull the damn stairs down - they already were. He shook his head and climbed up-up-up, jumped to get a hold of the roof and lifted himself up until he was standing.

A broken device to the side of where he stood caught his attention; Suigetsu grabbed the cell-phone, grabbed the battery and grabbed the top and began to assemble it back together as he slowly walked towards his best friend.

He came to a stop right next to him, not looking at him but rather looking at what Kiba saw; the laundromat, the bus stop, the supermarket under them... His ice-purple eyes closed as he continued to regain his breath before he spoke.

"You alright?"

Well. That was a stupid question to ask.

"I'm _fine_."

And that was a stupid answer.

"Dude-"

"I'm leaving. I dunno where, I don't care either. But I'm fucking out of here."

Suigetsu snapped his eyes opened and turned to look at the brunet, eyes narrowing down dangerously. "Dude, seriously? Like that? You're going to fucking _run away_? Let her _win_? Show her she actually _did _fuck you over? Kiba, dude, what the fuck."

He growled and ran a hand through his silver-white hair and tried (honestly he _tried_) to put himself in Kiba's position. But... that was it - he _couldn't_. Suigetsu had never been in love in his life; he loved his mother when she was alive (and he still did now that she was gone), but that kind of love was different than this one, he supposed. He couldn't really imagine what Kiba was feeling - was he feeling what he felt when he came out of juvy just to learn that his mother was dying?

Did he feel empty? Hollow? Confused? Betrayed? ..._Broken_?

"Look dude," He finally said, placing a hand on his best friend's shoulder, "If you want to leave, fine. But... give it a minute. Stay here for a day - or two or five and if it's too much then leave; fuck, I'll go with you... I'll pack your shit and everything. But... not right now. Dude, you can't possibly be thinking straight. Let's go get some drinks - you want that? C'mon, Kiba."

* * *

Kiba shrugged. "Whatever. I'm too tired to fucking care."

Suigetsu grinned toothily at the pretty-much brooding Kiba (said boy felt like punching his own face in - Kiba Inzuka did not _brood_; that was _Sasuke's_ job), and pulled him away from the edge of the supermarket's roof.

Kiba pretended he didn't hear the audible sigh of relief that left Suigetsu's lips.

If there was one thing Kiba knew, it was that he didn't have the goddamn balls to kill himself. He was too scared. He was going to run - just like always, just like forever. Commitment-phobic. He kept his hands shoved in his pockets as he let Suigetsu lead him away.

Hours later, as Kiba stared at the starry sky through a window of Suigetsu's house, surrounded by his passed-out friends, through the familiar, foggy haze that was alcohol, Kiba thought that maybe his and Ino's relationship was like a supernova. Brilliant. Beautiful. But short-term. Very short-term.

They exploded into nothing before they even had a chance.

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**sonya**: sonya's just pleased at all the drama...? & IT CONTINUES. DUNDUNDUNNNNNNNN. no offense, but i hope you cried. because if this was written on paper, you wouldn't be able to read it for all the tearstains on it. & LES YOU BETTER STAY OUT OF MY EMO CORNER, BETCH. DX**  
les**: i am off to my emo corner. because Consuela is broken.  
**Saraa**: my poor Maeve... she... she breaks...

**review, please? weloveyou**.


	32. how to fall apart like paper in water

SO SARAA IS NOT A FAN OF THIS CHAPTER. LIKE AT ALL.  
**disclaimer**: not ours.  
**dedication**: to fist-in-mouth conversations, hooker heels, and nights spent writing.

**les wails**: ...i have no words... i am a broken little rainbow-muffin.  
**Saraa grumbles**: i hated writing this. god. it made me cry. bitches. i'm thinking of just going back to "Sara", because i'm crazy and crazy and maybe a little obsessive and crazy. boys suck. that is all.  
**sonya says**: & so it begins. but everything that begins must have an end.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Some days, Karin really hated the world.

This was one of them.

Ino still hadn't woken up - Karin had had to deal with Ino's frantic father, as Ino hadn't come home the previous night. That had not been fun. Even after she had assured him that Ino was perfectly and totally safe, and still asleep, he'd been _frantic_.

And Karin understood that - it was not like Ino to not come home (said father still had issues with people leaving him - and having his little girl not come home was _not_ a good thing for him, at all).

But it was also not like Ino to be so utterly _broken_.

It had physically _hurt_ to see Ino like that. The blonde girl, even now, was simply crying in her sleep, tears running unhindered down her cheeks. Karin didn't understand how that was even possible - but she _did_ know that she needed to find Kiba (that fucker was going to _die_ when she got her hands on him), and figure out exactly what the fuck had gone on, and make them _both_ apologize.

Because, honestly, Karin _never_ wanted to see Ino like that, again.

Karin knew of only one person who would know where Kiba was.

And _that_ was Suigetsu.

* * *

No, he didn't normally pace his living room like this. Never.

Suigetsu liked to think that he was a calm person when not provoked. But right now, Suigetsu was not calm. Suigetsu was _livid_. Not even his epic hangover made him forget how complete _pissed off _he was right then and there. He's left a dent in his wall just for punching it a couple of times.

Because Suigetsu _never _in his _life _had seen Kiba the way Kiba had looked the night before.

Suigetsu was used to Kiba being strong and annoying and not really giving a fuck about anything. That was Kiba. Sure, he cared, sure he was nice - but he didn't normally... He... Suigetsu shook his head.

Kiba was not Suigetsu's best friend.

Kiba had been the first person he told, when he had found out that his mother had died. Kiba had been the first person to see him cry. Kiba was not his best friend.

Kiba was Suigetsu's _brother_.

And seeing him so... So... Suigetsu didn't even want to think about it. Because it only fueled his anger.

Today was _not _a good day to mess with him, that is all he knew.

* * *

Karin picked up the phone, and, fingers shaking, dialed Suigetsu's number.

She set her jaw, and listened to the ring-ring-ring of the line. _Pick up, pick up, pick up_... she willed.

"_'Lo?_" said a familiar voice, as the line connected.

Karin bit her lip. "We need to talk. _Right_ now. I'm coming over."

He grunted, and she heard the line click dead. They had unfinished business.

Three and a half minutes later, she was out the door.

* * *

God, out of all the days, she just had to appear here today.

Today in which he was capable of doing whatever. _Today_.

Suigetsu didn't like this. But fuck it, what happened, happened. And like his mother said, it happened for a reason. So at the knocks on his door, he squared his shoulders and yanked the door open. His permanent glare found Karin's face and his frown deepened.

"What?" he spat out.

* * *

Karin clenched her jaw, and pushed her way into his house - it was cold and gray outside, and she didn't want to stay out there any longer then she had to.

"I told you. _We need to talk_."

She was wearing one of his hoodies -that stupid red pull-over; why did it have to be so damn _comfy_? So _what_ if it smelled like him? IT MEANT NOTHING-, and it was all she could do to wrap her arms around herself, and drown in it.

Karin could already tell that this was not going to be a fun conversation.

* * *

"So talk," he snarled as he followed her into his living room. "What do you want?"

No, it didn't matter that she was in his hoodie. No, it didn't. No sense of pride and want and yearning came to him. None. He was _too fuckin' pissed to give a damn_. She could have it, torch it, sell it. He didn't care. He just wanted to be alone and just what the fuck did she want?

"Oh, wait," he said in faux-realization, "you want to talk about how your friend's a slut?"

* * *

Karin froze in place. How _dare_ he call-?

Everything started _screaming_ in her head - he didn't _get_ it, Karin was trying to _fix_ this whole problem before it got of hand, because it was a misunderstanding, and she knew that, but - _fuck_, Karin _hated_ it when people trashed her friends.

"Ex-_cuse_ me?" she hissed at him "_Who_ are you calling a slut?"

* * *

Suigetsu's eyes swarmed with complete and utter _hate._

He wanted Karin out of his house.

That was the thing.

He wanted her _out_.

"Your bimbo friend," he sneered, "She's. A. _Slut_."

* * *

Karin's insides contracted.

_No one_ called Ino slut.

_No one_.

She was so angry that she couldn't _see_ straight. She stalked up to him - he was less then a foot away, and snarled "_Fuck you_. You didn't _see_ her. And-" she paused to breathe angrily through her nose "-And it's _your best friend's_ fault that she's like that. So don't fucking _talk_ to me like you _know_ what's going on!"

He looked like he was about to snarl something right back.

She didn't give him the chance.

**_Crack_**.

Karin was probably insane for doing that, but slapping him as hard as she could was the only thing she could do. She was almost _shaking_; she was _so, so angry_.

* * *

It's as if time stopped for Suigetsu.

He looked absolutely calmed, his face staring at the wall. His cheek burning. His head still tilted to the side, the force of her slap causing it to do so. He looked calm. He looked serene.

And a second later, Suigetsu looked as if he could kill babies if given the chance. He growled, deep, low, like a complete predator. His hands shot out and grasped her arms and next thing he knew, he had slammed her against the wall.

"_Don't." _He hissed, "Don't _ever_. Put your hands on me, _bitch_." He shook her, his eyes wide and wild. "_Do you understand? _Don't ever fuckin' put your hands on me."

He took ragged breaths, he seethed and he wanted her out.

"Now get the fuck out of my house."

* * *

She just stared at him.

And stared.

And stared.

Neither of them moved, and it was all she could do to not _beat_ him over the head. She'd never been this angry before - _never_, in her whole life, had she wanted to make someone _hurt_ as much as she wanted him to _hurt_ right then.

She had honestly never hated someone more than Karin hated Suigetsu right at that moment.

And she knew of only one thing to _really_ set him off.

She stood up on tiptoe, until they were nose-to-nose, and her lips were less then an inch away from his. "You know..." she whispered slowly, venom lacing her every word even as she closed the gap between their mouths, so that she was whispering against his skin, "I really thought you were different. But you're not. You're _exactly - like - my - father_."

* * *

He sucked in his breath at what she said.

And his blood ran cold for a second before it was boiling hot to the point where it became unbearable. He closed his eyes, continued to take ragged breaths as a method of trying to calm himself down. But who was he kidding? He couldn't calm down. Not with her here. He needed to be fuckin' alone.

_Why did she never seem to understand this?_

"Get out," he croaked. "Ge the fuck out."

He let her go, clenched one of his hands to a fist that was as white as snow, shaking as much as an earthquake; the other hand ran through his hair. His eyes were still closed, his lips pressed into a thin line.

And still she didn't move.

His anger rose up.

"I said _get the fuck out_."

* * *

She was really going to regret this tomorrow. Karin knew it.

But that didn't stop the tears that were gathering in the pits of her eyes._ No, no, no, you_ _**will not cry**_, Karin told herself, but she really just couldn't help it - everything was blurring, and she could already feel the stupid tears started to make their way down her cheeks.

_No, no, **no**_, Karin all but hissed aloud, and frantically wiped them away. No, he was _not_ going to see her lose control - because Karin needed to be strong for Ino, and she just wasn't - he didn't - this had - nothing was -

That was when Karin realized she couldn't even form a coherent sentence if she _tried_, and she totally lost it.

"You are _such_ a _bastard_," she told him quietly. "I can't believe I actually _liked_ you."

She wrapped his hoodie a little closer around her; no, it wasn't his, she was going to _burn_ it when she got home. Karin was shaking, and she headed towards the door.

* * *

He watched her leave, his jaw clenched.

He watched her, never moving from his spot until he heard the door slam shut.

And then he exhaled, sagging his shoulders because he was so damn tired. He made his way to his couch, threw himself on it and covered his eyes with the crook of his elbow. God... There was a side of him that demanded an explanation as to why the fuck he acted that way with her - it was her friend's fault... not hers.

But Suigetsu wouldn't allow any going back.

What was done was done.

So what if... so what if under all that anger... He was going to feel utter emptiness? So what?

He knew how this was going to go. Unadulterated anger, emptiness, move on.

That's how it went.

That didn't mean he liked it.

* * *

Karin sat in her car, and _shook_.

Her arms were wrapped around her middle, and she simply shook. She couldn't even feel anything - she'd gone totally numb. If there were tears streaking down her cheeks, she didn't know it. She looked out the window. Guessed she would go home. Would probably cry her eyes out once Ino left.

Karin sighed, tired, and slid the keys into the ignition. Part of her wanted to screech, run back inside, and go _beat_ him some more, until he understood.

But another part of her -the bigger, tireder part- just wanted to go home and sleep; maybe cry a little, but mostly sleep. Well, there went her belief in love.

As she backed out of Suigetsu's driveway, it began to snow.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

When Ino managed to peel her eyes open, her eyelids were as heavy as the world leaning on her shoulders.

Her eyes were red rimmed, pink from all the tears she shed the day before. Her nose was stuffy, probably pink, too. Her throat was dry, her hair in knots - she was a mess. A fuckin' mess. A disaster already happened and this - she was the aftermath.

She bit her dry, chapped lip and willed herself not to cry.

What would tears do? Other than alleviate the raw pain she was feeling. But other than _that_, it'd just bring more pain and, and, and...

...Ino sniffed, her eyes stinging with new unshed tears.

She curled up into a ball, covering herself with Karin's covers from head to toes and pretended to throw her life away. At least for right now.

* * *

Kiba stared forlornly out the window.

He hadn't slept.

Suigetsu was the kind of drunk that passed out - Kiba wasn't. Kiba was the kind of drunk that stayed awake, and brooded about everything that was just - just so fucking wrong.

He clenched his fists. This goddamn hangover was _almost_ worth the fact that, for a little while, he'd forgotten her face, forgotten what she smelled like, forgotten her smile. But he knew, now, that there was nothing to do.

Kiba sat there, Ino's laughter ringing in his ears, and damned himself to hell.

* * *

Once her stomach growled, Ino realized that she hadn't eaten since lunch the day before.

...She wasn't all that hungry.

Her stomach growled in protest to that inner proclamation. But Ino ignored it and continued to stare blankly at the cream-colored sheet lying in front of her. She wished she were a bed sheet. Bed sheets don't have feelings.

Bed sheets don't hurt you.

Bed sheets listened to you when you needed to say something.

Bed sheets were...

...Ino burst into silent tears all over again.

* * *

Kiba was very silent for a very long time.

He didn't move when Suigetsu sat up, groaning. And that was because there was a conclusion dawning in his head.

He was going to have to leave Konoha.

Already, everything reminded him of her. Everything. Even looking out the goddamn window, and watching cars pass - she was in everything. And Kiba knew that wasn't going to change, because she was so damn ingrained into his every day life that he didn't know how to separate the "Kiba" from the "Ino".

And, frankly, he didn't want to.

But then the image of her leaning towards Itachi, her face obscured by her long blonde hair (she had always had beautiful hair) would replay in his head, and it had his fists curling.

Fuck, if he ever saw Itachi, he was going to _beat_ that bastard's _face_ in - and not just for himself. For Shisui, too; he'd seen the expression on her face, and it had been nothing short of heart-wrenching. Kiba knew that the girl who was pretty much his older sister's best friend deserved far better then that.

Kiba buried his head in his hands, and tried to push the image of Ino _kissing someone else_ out of his head.

It wasn't working so well.

* * *

Sniffling, she pulled out of the covers and made the effort to reach for her phone and then dialed one of the few numbers she knew by heart.

The person picked up on the fifth ring.

_"Ashfdks-'ello...?"_

A small, barely noticeable smile came to her lips as she heard the heavy-with-sleep voice. "Hi, Tenten."

Tenten was a deep sleeper, yet she was an insomniac - a total contradiction. She did not sleep at night (not even on school days) and when she did sleep, she would fall asleep just around sunrise, sleep through the whole morning and half of the afternoon. Hearing her voice made Ino feel... just a slight more stronger. Out of her four best friends, Tenten's opinion mattered the most to her.

It was hard to explain why - but it was. If Tenten grew angry (like she did the night before) at something Ino was doing wrong - or hurting her - Ino would try her best to fix it. No, it's not like those horrible relationships on TV. Tenten didn't force her to change - Ino did it because, though impulsive and hot-headed, Tenten was really strong; mentally, emotionally and physically. When Tenten's mother died... she didn't cry. She went into a state of shock that lasted months, yes... but never did the brunette shed a tear.

Ino wanted to be like that.

_"...'no? Wah..." _She heard shuffling, a groan and then some more shuffling, "_Wass'goin' on? You 'kay?"_

_"_No," she whispered, "I...I..."

_"Don't cry."_

It surprised her to hear Tenten's voice - that had been a slur - go strong and steady.

_"Don't cry on me. You know I can't handle that. I already promised I wouldn't hunt him down - don't make me break that._"

* * *

Suigetsu gave a Kiba a squinty-eye look. "Dude, whaa-?"

Kiba rubbed his forehead. His resolve to get the hell out of Konoha hardened. He was going to talk to Shisui, and then he was getting the hell away from this goddamn city. Maybe he'd go to Suna - see Lee, get away from the winter for a little, and give himself some time to figure... everything out.

He looked at Suigetsu. "I'm out of here, dude. I'm just fuckin' gone."

Suigetsu was silent for a moment. "...Where the fuck you goin'?"

"Dunno. Somewhere. Where - where - _she_ won't be. Suna, maybe. I dunno. But I'm getting out of here. I've gotta."

"What - Just - Dude..." Suigetsu paused to run a hand through his hair; Kiba quietly wondered when they had become so much alike. "Just... be careful, man."

Kiba smirked, an angry spark settling around his mouth, even as his jaw clenched, and everything about his body went taught with anger. Mostly as himself; at Ino, too, at Itachi, but not at Suigetsu. "I'm always careful."

Suigetsu shot him the most deadpan look Kiba had ever seen in his life. "...And I shit gold."

"I'm not gonna do some stupid shit like kill myself, or something. I just... need to get the hell away, for a while."

Suigetsu stared at him. "Okay. But I expect you to fuckin' call. Or I'm going to go bald worrying about your ass."

Kiba just shook his head, and didn't say anything. He knew Suigetsu would probably end up coming with, if only for a little while. But, honestly, Kiba just needed to get away. He groaned, and pulled out his phone. He flicked through his contacts, and found Shisui's number.

It rang for thirty seconds, before a very muffled, very stuffy voice picked up. "_He-hello?_"

"Hey, it's Kiba. Can we talk?"

* * *

When Tenten arrived to the scene of the crime - she snorted at this - Ino was waiting for her outside. She looked like a complete mess - in a pair of way-too-big-for-her sweatpants (they were probably her dad's) and a long sleeved t-shirt. Her hair was in a _very _messy, _very _knotty bun, and her...Oh god, Tenten couldn't stand staring at her in the face.

Her hands gripped the steering wheel of Anko's car with such fierceness, the thought of snapping it broke came to thought. Sighing, she grabbed the paper bag filled with alcohol (Anko had only shrugged, gave her some of the best she had in her bar and went back to whatever it is she did around the house) and got out of the car.

"Hi," Ino whispered in a soft, vulnerable, breaking voice.

Tenten stared at her - not _her _her, but at her hairline. "Hey."

They stepped inside, Ino leading her to her colorful room. A sinking feeling came to Tenten's stomach at the thought that Ino was very colorful... and now she looked like those old movies - the black and white ones, without a sound. What were they called? Silent Movies? She didn't know.

She didn't care either.

"Where's your dad?" she asked.

"Working."

"And... what time did you get back from Karin's?"

"After he called, worrying."

Tenten nodded and set the bag down on the bed. She sighed, running her hands up and down her skinnies-clad thighs as she looked around the place. "Okay," she said after a pause, "I'll go get some soda, or OJ... OJ sounds better. I'll go get some OJ, and some glass and then... and then we'll get you so drunk, it's not even funny."

Ino smiled at her.

Tenten knew it was a fake one.

She ran down, into the kitchen, grabbed the gallon of OJ and two glass cups and ran back upstairs. She didn't even turn to look at Ino as she began to mix the drinks up. Tenten was... an alcoholic (in the best way possible). She knew how to mix, knew what tasted good with what, which drink was better than which and how shitfaced one would get. Sure, she was eighteen, but what the fuck - life was not perfect, and some things just went the way they did.

Looking up, she passed one of the two cups to the blond, and grinned a grin that did not meet her eyes.

"Alright," she raised her cup and Ino followed, "Here's to life. Because it sucks and it bites you in the ass when you least expect it. But no matter what, it's life and we must always remember that when shit hits the fan, the fan _will _get cleaned. So here's to life; and to staying strong because no matter how many friends you have that'll pick you back up, it's _you _that'll will yourself to stay on your feet."

When they drank, Tenten's amber eyes followed Ino's tears as they fell down her cheeks.

* * *

Shisui's voice crackled through the receiver. "_Yeah? Kiba? Are you okay?_"

Kiba clutched his pounding head. The noise from the phone hurt. But he was able to ignore the pain enough to know that Shisui sounded like she'd been crying. He frowned. "I'm... fine, I guess. Are _you_ okay?"

She barked a harsh laugh, and Kiba winced.

That probably wasn't a good thing.

"_... Do you want to grab a coffee_?" Shisui's voice was very quiet.

Kiba gritted his teeth. Shisui and Itachi. Fuck, she was probably just as fucked up over this whole thing as he was. He was _seriously_ going to beat Itachi's face in, if he ever saw the dude. And not just for himself; Shisui was practically his older sister.

And she didn't deserve this.

"Yeah," he said. "I'd like that."

* * *

"You know," Ino whispered in a slur. He eyes were glued on her fifth drink as she stirred and cradled the glass, "Maybe I should... I'unno... go lesbian or something. Tenten, be my girlfriend."

The brunette looked up with bored, glassy eyes. She was in the process of making herself another glass of screwdriver and, like, Ino was such a weird girl. "Of course, Ino. You could be my bitch."

"I'd like that very much, Apple-of-My-Eye."

Tenten snorted and gave up on making her drink. Instead she took a long swig of the bottle and with a straight face, handed it to Ino. The blond took it and chugged it, throat burning, eyes watering and lips pursing as she gave it back.

"We're not gonna be like this forever," Tenten said, staring at the bottle, "I'm not going to get you drunk every day. You'll get a beer-belly or something."

"Adjfglg," Ino's eyes were closed and Tenten could only snort again.

"C'mon - flail, Ino." Her voice cracked and she hated herself for it, "You're not Ino if you're not flailing. Ino doesn't mope."

The blond girl smiled, "I know... I leave a trail of glitter behind me, huh? Well... I'm freshly out of glitter, Ten... I'm stuck."

* * *

Kiba stared down at the phone in his hand.

He hated the Magic Bean, right then.

Really.

* * *

**From: Shino McSmexy  
To: Tennie Macdaddy  
How are you?**

**From: Tennie Macdaddy  
To: Shino McSmexy  
ohhhh. pretty personnnn. how are youuuu!**

* * *

"I'll make glitter for you, then!"

Tenten may be steel-hearted. But she'd rather gauge her eyes out than continue to watch her friend hurt like she was hurting.

"How," Ino asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'unno. But... I'll do it. I will."

She handed the bottle back to her and told her to drink as much as she wanted. Once completely shitfaced, Ino would fall asleep. And that was better than anything.

* * *

**From: Shino McSmexy  
To: Tennie Macdaddy  
I'm good, now that I'm talking to you. Let's get ice cream.**

**From: Tennie Macdaddy  
To: Shino McSmexy  
of course you would, i am just that amazing. and ice cream with you sounds good. just... give me about fifteen minutes.**

* * *

Tenten looked at where Ino was sprawled at, empty bottle of drink at her side. She was _not _going to leave her alone like this. Never - food (oh, her best friend, her only lover, her everything) would have to wait as would Shino (who happened to be really pretty) because Tenten was not going to leave a shitfaced Ino alone at her house.

So she scrolled down her contacts and then pressed the talk button.

"Kariiiiin. I need you to come and keep Ino company."

"_I HATE MEN."_

Tenten blinked and scratched at her head, "What happened? Do I need a bat?"

She wasn't stupid, she could hear Karin straining herself from crying. And it was making Tenten grow rather angry. "_No - I just trusted someone stupid. So, uh, what - Ino? Why?"_

It took her a while to say anything, mostly because she didn't know whether to press on the matter and demand what idiot decided to fuck around with her, or to move on. But Tenten let out a low sigh and closed her eyes, "She's shitfaced, passed out on her floor. I don't want her to stay alone and I have... some things to do."

_"I-fine," _Tenten listened as Karin, on the other line, took a stuffy breath through her nose. And she knew the other girl had been, and most probably was, crying. "_I'll be there in - ten minutes." _

"Okay..."

And Tenten wondered what in the fucking name of waffles was going on.

* * *

**From: Shino McSmexy  
To: Tennie Macdaddy  
Fifteen minutes. Any more, and I kidnap you.**

**From: Tennie Macdaddy  
To: Shino McSmexy  
i might just have to take longer, just to see if you keep that threat**.

* * *

Karin could barely see, and navigating through the streets was something that she was probably going to regret.

She parked in front of Ino's house, and pulled down the sun visor. She surveyed her face with distaste. Red eyes, red nose, red hair, crazy glasses slipping down her nose, make-up-less... Ugh. She looked like some hideous Swamp Monster.

(_Push the emotions down; you're good at that. Deal with them later; you're good at that. Push that asshole away, for now. Don't let him touch your heart. **You're good, at that**_.)

Karin slipped out of her car, and walked towards Ino's front door.

She didn't bother to knock. She just shoved the door open, and made her way inside. Tenten was in the kitchen, staring at the passed-out-on-the-couch-Ino. However, as soon as she heard Karin approach, she whipped her head up, and looked like she was about to start with a barrage of questions.

Karin held her hands up. Her voice was weak. She didn't have the mental capacity for the full-blown Spanish Inquisition that Tenten was bound to have prepared.

"Please, Tenny..." Karin mumbled, smile weak. "Just - just not now, okay? La-later. Maybe."

* * *

Tenten stared at her long and hard.

"Fine. Later. But if I cross path with him, he's dead. No joke - I'm sick of this."

And with that, she left the house.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Tenten rubbed at her chin as she stared up at the menu at Tom's House of Foolery.

She's mentioned before how much she loves ice-cream, right? Well, her love for milkshakes was just as amazing as the other. Because milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard, like, seriously. Tenten grinned at herself and decided she was fricken' awesome.

It was around December, and people hid from ice-cream rather than searched for it, but Tenten could care less - she saw this as an opportunity to get any flavor she wanted... Which was her predicament at the moment.

She had no idea what to get.

What topping?

Whipped cream or no whipped cream?

She shifted her weight from one leg to the other, jutting her hip out and placing her other hand on top of it as she continued to ponder. But, crap, she couldn't decide what the hell to get! This was so fricken' unfair! Pouting she turned to her companion (gushed at how sexy he was) and then placed a hand on his (toned... Tenten had the decency to inwardly squeal along with the Ino and Karin inside her head) arm.

"Huh, Shino, what d'you think," she asked and she adored how he turned his attention to her, "vanilla, or cookie-dough?"

* * *

Shino tilted his head, and looked down at the flavours that Tenten was indicating. He studied them for a moment, before looking down at the top of Tenten's head. Then he looked back at the ice cream. Then back at Tenten.

And then he was quiet for a minute.

Finally, he said "Well", in a gentle sort of voice, "I know you like cookie-dough, and whipped cream is your favourite, so why not get that, with chocolate sauce and oreo cookie crumble?"

Tenten stared up at him, sparkles in her eyes. Shino had a feeling that was probably a good thing.

* * *

"You," she whispered as she hugged him, her legs dangling in the air, which she actually found hilarious. "Are my new god. You're so amazing!"

And with that she jumped off him and sped to the counter where she ordered the amazing drink Shino had so expertly helped her choose. When the man nodded, she turned back to Shino with a puzzled expression, "Are you going to get anything?"

Shino came to stand next to her and with a low, gentle tone ordered a scoop of vanilla on a cone.

And then they waited.

Tenten sucked on her lip ring, looking around as if this was her first time coming here, and all in all looking like a five-year old. She shivered as the December breeze sneaked inside when a mother and her child walked in through the door. Tenten stepped closer to Shino as a way to get some body heat.

"How about," she commented lightly, this time touching her lip ring with her tongue, because it was a habit. "We go watch a movie after this?"

* * *

Shino grinned down at her, and he licked the simple cone.

Shino had always liked vanilla.

"Definitely. What do you want to see?" he asked her.

* * *

Tenten pretended to think about the movie options - but it's not like she'd be paying attention to it anyway, firstly, because the nachos, the hotdogs and the pretzel-poppers were de-fuckin'-licious, and secondly because she'd be too busy... She smirked.

And with that smirk, she looked back up to him, staring at his eyes through his sunglasses.

"I don't mind watching whatever you'd like."

Smirk still in place and raising her eyebrows once before setting them back into place, she turned to look out the windows and slurped on her absolutely delicious milkshake.

* * *

Shino simply shrugged. He was willing to go anywhere - he didn't really care where he ended up. If she wanted to see a movie, then she wanted to see a movie. He tilted his a little, to indicate that they ought to leave the little ice cream shop with the ridiculous name.

Tenten chattered next to him happily, and Shino quietly ate the ice cream cone he was holding.

It was a nice day, Shino thought.

* * *

Tenten liked Shino, she decided.

He was nice, considerate, he didn't call her a fatass and he _listened _to her when she talked. Even when she rambled - and Tenten was good at rambling, she almost put Sakura to shame when it came to that! She felt really comfortable around him - ever since he found her in the park that night, almost almost three weeks ago. He'd listen when she ranted about her frustration with that idiot Neji and he paid for her food... without her asking him to.

Oh, and he was good in bed too. At this Tenten snickered and smirked.

That's why whenever she was done making Neji's day a bit awful, she'd go to Shino because she'd find peace. Neji infuriated her with his stiffness and that thing where he tried to keep everything under control and... did he not see that life just didn't work that way?

Tenten's brow furrowed as she continued to delve on that subject.

"Are you alright," she heard Shino ask.

She looked up and grinned, "Yeah! I... Was just... um... Thinking. Yeah, thinking."

"About?"

"...baloney. I mean it tastes so nasty and it has such a funny name, don't ya think?"

Tenten's heart lightened at his smirk. Neji would have just stared at her. And she didn't know what grasped her to do it (and it's not like she hasn't done it before), but she closed whatever gap was between them and allowed her lips to meet his in a rather roughly soft kiss. She smirked against his lips as his hands found her hips and she didn't quite know, or care, how long it lasted - the kiss; but when she pulled away, she was rather breathless.

She gave him a smirk and Shino smirked right back; that's communication right there. When she turned to look up front, though, she stopped walking, gasped lightly and widened her eyes.

Neji was standing right in front of them and staring at them with a face as blank as ever.

Tenten's milkshake dropped to the floor.

* * *

Hyuuga Neji did not get jealous.

Hyuuga Neji had never needed to have been jealous, before. He was pretty much the best at whatever it was that he did, with very few exceptions. He hadn't had the social experiences necessary, to have had the chance to have experienced jealousy. But, suffice to say, anything that had to do with Anko's classes usually was among those few things.

Therefore, Tenten was among those few things that both baffled and confused Neji.

Jealousy was not one of the things he was supposed to be feeling, right then. It wasn't just ordinary jealousy, either. It was rage, and utter possessiveness. There were other things, too; undercurrents of envy, and worry, and hurt.

But mostly, it was just blinding jealously.

Neji stood there, stiffly, and tried to reign in his temper, to keep from _punching_ whoever the hell the guy who had just kissed Tenten was.

* * *

Tenten had a phobia.

It wasn't fear of clowns, like Ino. No. It wasn't claustrophobia or a phobia of bugs or pillows or whatever. No, Tenten, at times, wished it was that simple. She really did; but it wasn't and it would never be... she knew this.

Tenten had a fear of love. A fear of commitment.

It was utterly justified, what with how she watched her mother's heart break into a million pieces that could have never been able to be glued back together. How she watched her father leave her, and her mother like if it was nothing; like if he didn't have a commitment to help nurture his daughter or love his lover.

Tenten was afraid of everything - the pain, the anger, the resent, the betrayal - she was afraid of it coming back.

And it was because of that, that she never stuck around long enough to have anything remotely similar to a relationship. Just hit it and quit it; sure, it made her seem and look (and she possibly was) a slut... but that title was so much better than the other road.

But...

All that...

All that completely came to a standstill as she watched Neji watch her and Shino. And through it all... She never really gave a thought of _her _being the one to fuck something up. Like the way that she was fucking something up right then.

Whatever it was that she and Neji had... either way, she was fucking it up. Just like she fucked everything else up.

"Neji..."

Unconsciously, she took a step towards him, a hand slowly raising up as if trying to touch him.

"Neji..."

* * *

"Tenten," Neji said, tone clipped. He clenched his teeth.

_Control, control_.

He had to get out of there.

He didn't say anything else to her. He didn't think he could; he would end up doing something that he would seriously regret. He took a step back, gave her a sharp, cool nod, turned around, and left the ice-cream shop as fast as he physically could.

Neji strode away, clenching and unclenching his jaw. He didn't know how else to adequately express his fury, at the moment; his self-control was thin, as it was, and if a word other then her name had been spoken, Neji knew he would have lost it. It was good that nothing else had been said.

There was nothing to say.

* * *

She remained completely frozen in her spot. Like a statue; unblinking, staring at where Neji once stood... was she even breathing?

She didn't understand the relationship she and Neji had. She didn't, she couldn't and she, possibly, never would. But there was this horrible feeling that extended from her chest down to the pit of her stomach. A pressure. Such a damn fucking heavy pressure that was weighing her down, down, down until she felt her eyes sting and water.

Her nose did that thing, where it ached because tears were ready to come in waterfalls. And she _didn't _want to cry. She absolutely _didn't_. When was the last time she cried?

When her father left, without a goodbye, never to come back.

It was then that she steeled herself and allowed nothing weak like tears overtake her. She didn't even cry at her mother's funeral... and now here she was... crying...

And... why was she crying anyway? Why should Neji... Why...

...Something inside her twisted at the thought; she couldn't even finish the thought. And she didn't even know why. She had no idea why or what or when or... nothing. She was clueless.

She sniffed softly, the only movement she'd made so far. And, with remorse, she tried to concentrate on the hot trails forming at her cheeks rather than the facial expression that was sure to give her nightmares to her already sleepless nights.

* * *

Neji was...

Well. A lot of things.

Stone-cold-freezing when he thought of Tenten, and boiling-hot-violent when he thought of whatever-his-name-was. Neji had no idea which direction his feet were taking him in; he was just walking and walking, and hoping that he would end up somewhere that didn't _hurt_ so much.

(Did such a place even exist?)

Neji grit his teeth, and, once again, tried to calm himself down.

There was no reason for him to be so jealous. None, at all. It was not like he and Tenten had - well, they had - they were -

Something in the back of Neji's mind roared and screamed for whatever-his-name-was' complete and total annihilation. He didn't _care_ whether he and Tenten were something or were not something; that bastard was - for God's sake -

Neji almost snarled.

* * *

It didn't really matter how long it was before she began to walk. Like a zombie; there but not really _there_. She was walking, not thinking, not there, going numb painfully slowly. And she walked, slowly and like a lost child. She couldn't hear Shino's calls, she couldn't even see the stares of the passerby. She just walked.

A penny-sized portion of her mind that was not shutting down reminded her of the things she clearly needed to make the numbness come quicker; to make her... not think about what the fuck is going on. Incoherent numbness - that's what she needed.

Because she kept trying. She kept thinking about how Neji looked and how he said her name and how he left without turning back. She kept thinking about it and she kept wondering, trying to figure out _why_.

Why? Whywhywhywhy_why_?

So she kept walking away, kept wanting to know, tears still spilling silently. And she was _so damn angry_ and _why the fuck was she crying for **Neji**_. So he was angry! So _what_? _Why _should she be crying? Neji usually always got angry-annoyed with her someway or another...

...that penny-sized portion of her brain told her, softly, that this time was different.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Hinata was shaking. Her whole body was trembling, as she picked up her phone.

She was going to regret this. She didn't need to be a seer to know that; this was going to _hurt_ and Hinata was going to _cry_. She stared down at the defenseless phone in her grip, and had an urge to fling it away from her.

But - Ino.

Ino. Karin. Sakura. Tenten.

They wouldn't leave her.

And it wasn't right for her to leave them when they needed her. And it wasn't right for her to continue consorting with that which was practically the enemy.

"I'm - s-so sorry..."

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
_Subject: We need to talk_.

Uhm, are you - doing anything right now?

-Snow White

* * *

To: moonsightdarklight  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Really? About what?_

Nope. D'you want to meet somewhere? I can pick you up, if you'd like...

-Hokage

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
_Subject: It's about this - thing we have. About us._

Yeah. That would be, uh, great, thanks.

-Snow White

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: moonsightdarklight  
Subject: _...Okay...?_

Okay... I'll be there in a bit...

-Hokage

* * *

Naruto usually took his time picking up on things. Innuendos were easy to grasp, but sometimes subtle things were difficult and when it came to hidden meanings-inquiries and the sort, he had no clue.

But... This was different, he could tell.

Because as soon as he read that message his stomach sunk and he had this feeling that told him he wasn't going to like something. But maybe he was over-analyzing things or something - he didn't really know what to think at the moment.

He grabbed his jacket and his car keys. Like a robot, he walked down the hall and down the stairs until he made it to his car. And once he was on the road, he blasted music so it'd distract his mind. Because... what if he was worrying about nothing? What if... He doesn't know.

But maybe he was worrying over nothing. He had to be.

* * *

Hinata stood at the door, and waited, feeling queasy and sick.

And sad. That, too. Really, really sad. She didn't know why she'd picked today, of all days, to have this conversation. Hinata fiddled with her skirt - that polka-dotted one that she'd first worn, the first time she'd ever seen him.

Her stomach did a flip flop as the door bell rang, and Hinata hesitantly opened the door.

"Hi," she murmured, before walking straight into his him, and hiding her face in his chest.

* * *

Blinking, Naruto wrapped his arms around her.

"Is everything alright, Hinata-chan," he asked, feeling worried that something that had to do with her family was going awry. Although, Neji would have... not said something per-se. But he would have seemed... mopey and such. Which he wasn't.

She clung to him as if she was on the verge of breaking. And Naruto couldn't let that happen - how would he put her back together?

"Hinata-chan...?" He gulped and closed his blue eyes, "Is everything okay?"

* * *

"No, no, no - n-nothing's okay, N-Naruto-kun. It's a-all so _w-wrong_..."

Hinata just wanted to stay close to him. That was it. She wanted to cling to him, and curl into his body, and be _part_ of him, and she didn't want to deal with any of the _crap_ that came with having friends and having friends breaking up with friends. Hinata shook her head against Naruto's chest, and tried to control and calm her breathing.

How was she supposed to tell him - everything?

"I - I don't think t-that we can... be... _together_... anymore..."

* * *

When Naruto's mother gave him the news that his father died, there had been this... pang inside of him. He didn't know how to describe it, not even up to this day. It was like a shock; but he wondered how it could be _shock _if he had known that his dad was sick and delicate? It ran in his family - heart-attacks. He knew - the doctor had _told _them, one day, on one of his father's checkups, that they had to take good care of him.

But he still had that pang - that shock.

This was exactly like that. He knew something was coming. He knew - he was just in denial. But... there it was... That pang.

"Wh-what?" He managed to say through the shock, "Why do you say that? Yes we can - Hinata-chan, we can make it work. We... We can."

He wasn't going to let go. He wasn't. He _wouldn't_.

* * *

"You're, uhm, crushing me, Naruto-kun," Hinata whispered.

Not that she minded too much. She liked it - being crushed to his chest, that was. It felt _right_; right in ways that Hinata liked thinking about, because it made her stomach churn, and she wanted-wanted-wanted things -_him_, rather-, that she knew she shouldn't want, but it didn't - it didn't even _matter_.

Because at the rate that things were happening, she wasn't even going to stand a _chance_. Hinata buried her face in his chest, and clung to Naruto almost desperately. She didn't want to move, ever. She didn't want her friends to fight.

Everything was stupid.

She already missed him.

* * *

His hold didn't soften in the least.

What were the chances of her escaping through any sort of gap? No, Naruto couldn't possibly allow that to happen. All this time, since the moment he met her to this very second, he'd been worried about breaking her because she was so delicate.

But what about him?

What if _he _broke?

He wasn't delicate - he was thick-skinned and most insults bounced off him... But...

Hinata...

Naruto clenched his jaw and shut his eyes as hard as he could.

"Hinata-chan... Can't you see... They need us. They need us _together_. We need to bring them back... We need... Please, don't leave."

She instantly buried her face in his shoulder and she _shook_. With a voice that promised spilled tears, she whispered, "I - I know. B-but they're a-all _s-so_ hurt, a-and I - I..."

"I know... I know... But... We can help... If you let _this _go... how can we help?"

As a last resort, he clasped his thumb and forefinger on her chin and, gently, softly, pulled her head back until their eyes met.

"Yeah?"

* * *

Hinata stared up into eyes blue as a summer morning, and felt her resolve begin to crumble.

_So what_ if their friends were fighting?

This whole thing - it had - it wasn't - it was _not_ Hinata's problem.

As that registered in her mind, Hinata sighed. Okay. It wasn't her problem. She did not have to ruin the _one_ relationship that she'd been _happy_ in, because her _friends_ were being stupid. This was _not_ their deal, and Hinata calmed as she realized that.

She sniffed a little, wiped a stray tear away, and offered him a watery smile. She liked being this close to him. He smelled _incredible_ - Naruto _always_ smelled incredible, and that just wasn't fair, but Hinata figured she'd deal with it.

"Hey, N-Naruto-kun?"

"Yeah?"

(It hurt to hear how fearful his voice had suddenly become. It was... flatteringsweetadorable that he was that worried she was going to dump him.

Like she could even wrap her mind around it. It hurt too much to even think about it.)

"You - you're right. No le-letting go."

And then she stood up on tiptoe, and gently pressed her lips against his jaw.

* * *

An automatic smile came to his lips and Naruto couldn't help but let out the shaky breath he was holding in.

He licked his lips and gave a nod, a cracked chuckle and hugged her tighter - spinning her around in his grip.

"No letting go," he repeated.

And then, allowing his drunken happiness dim down to a minimum, he grew serious again. Because he had four friends that were seriously fucked and they clearly needed him so it was time he helped - whether they wanted the help, needed it or not. He was going to fix this for them.

Because they were complete idiots and couldn't do it themselves.

"So what do we do," he asked her, running a hand through his shaggy-blond spikes. He shook his head and bit at the inside of his cheek. "Kiba's gone... Sasuke's reclusive... Suigetsu's a mess and I'm sure you know how Neji's doing... I don't think I _want _to know how your friends are - What do we do, Hinata-chan?"

* * *

Hinata looked at him with sad eyes.

"We need t-to find out what ha-happened. Between them. _A-all_ of them. Because - well, I - I..."

She sighed, and was content to cling to him. The thought that she would never see Naruto again - never _speak_ to him again... It scared Hinata. It made her sad and scared and hurt and _just really sad_. She ducked her head down, and listened to the sound of his pulse.

"You what, Hinata-chan?"

"I-I want them t-to be... _h-happy_, I g-guess."

She flushed, and then added a soft question. "L-like... like _w-we_ are?"

* * *

Naruto grinned and gave his hold on her a light squeeze.

"Well, you're talking to the right guy! I know _exactly _what's wrong with those idiots that are my best friends."

She remained silent, even as he went into a clear, descriptive story of what the hell was bothering his friends, and hers. Something about Sasuke being used, something about Kiba seeing something fucked-up, something about Suigetsu choosing bros over hos. And, Neji was something they _both _knew clearly so there was no need to retouch on that.

By the time Naruto was done speaking, he was wondering and estimating how difficult and how impossible it was going to be to help them out.

Because, in a relationship, only two people fit - three's a crowd. And since only two people can balance a relationship... Naruto and Hinata were basically sitting ducks.

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "This is going to be hard."

* * *

Hinata sighed.

"Y-yeah, it is... It's g-going to hurt them _a-all_... N-Naruto-kun, what do we _d-do_?"

(She quietly cursed the fact that her stutter still came back when she was nervous or upset. That fact made her angry, because Naruto had done what years of speech therapy could not; he had somehow managed to help her find the confidence that she needed.

So when she started stuttering, Hinata just got annoyed.)

Naruto's voice was strangely serious, strangely sad, when he spoke. "Hinata-chan..." he said slowly, "I - I don't think we can do _anything_..."

Hinata could feel the panic attack coming on.

* * *

Naruto tried not to show just how panicked he got just by feeling her frame grow stiffer than... than... well, stiff.

"Hi-Hinata, c'mon - please don't start freaking me out again. I mean, look. As much as we want to help; we can't. We just _can't_! They have to fix this mess for themselves. I'm serious; I know these idiots. Sasuke's hard-headed and he doesn't listen - Hinata-chan, he doesn't _listen_. And Suigetsu has that fucked-up temper that makes him do some stupid shit and Kiba's exactly like Sasuke and he's, like, _gone_. And Neji... Well... _You _know Neji..."

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and held her close to him.

"We can't do anything, Hinata... We just _can't_."

And he hated how defeated he sounded. He was supposed to help them... But he... He just couldn't. And he hated how Hinata just began to cry. Right then and there, into his chest. He hated how she was spilling tears and how she was hurting because her friends were hurting.

These idiots needed to fix this. Pronto.

* * *

Hinata had never really liked having to cry her eyes out.

But this situation just called for it.

Period.

"They - they're all s-so _s-stupid_, Naruto-kun," she whispered, sadder then she could have thought possible. She looked up at him, face and solemn as a pearl teardrop, the saline tracks on her cheeks left untouched, to shimmer slightly in the cold winter light.

He chuckled, his voice a little strained. That wasn't like him and it just made Hinata sadder. "Hell yeah, they are."

Hinata wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled his face down to her level. She very carefully pressed her forehead against his, and closed her eyes. It just wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair, at all, and Hinata almost hated that.

Today...

Today was a sad day.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**shit, this chapter is depressing. please review, it totally makes out lives a bagillion times better. we do crazy dances of love and joy and stuff. and then we write like mad. so. reviews, yesplease?**


	33. how to remember sunday

Hey all of you reading this! I've been writing a large portion of this chapter for MONTHS. Basically since we started planning SBNY. Because there's this one scene that hurts & I hope you all feel something because... well, I love it. Here's to some resolution.  
**disclaimer: Well, if we owned it, we would have never killed off ***** or ***** or almost-killed *******. Is that good enough for you?  
dedication: **To smiling like a fool when you look at me Like That, to "Everything I Ask For", to shedding tears over pain even after bracing yourself for it, to college & the shitload of homework that's required to graduate early & head to England & med school, to drinking tea obsessively & being upset when the store runs out of your favorite flavor, to Framing Hanley (_I love you, you know?_) and also to the boys and girls who rock our worlds. weloveyou.

**Sonya's waiting in your room with the lights off:** I... really like this chapter. It's been such a roller coaster, but I think I'm finally satisfied with how I wrote this. Enjoy. Review & tell us what you think? :)  
**Sara's painting the sky with acrylic stars**: SKDGHSKJEH. and that's kind of like all. this chapter has been a long, long, _long_ time coming. enjoy it, loves, we're finally getting close to the end! also: THE GIRLS ARE SO PRETTY, HERE IN SLUT CITY. les+me are the mayors. it's fun.  
**Les is blinking and staring indifferently: **"Why is she asking random people when she has all those Nazis?" I said this. Yes, I am awesomesauce. let's be friends.

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* * *

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* * *

Kiba's fingers were shaking. The dial tone rang in his ear, and he listened to little more then the sound of his own breathing - and barely even that. (When was the last time he'd been able to breathe without hurting?) He listened to it ring and ring, and then the _click_ as someone picked up.

"_He-hello_?" came the croaked whisper.

"Are - are you doing anything right now?"

"_Heh. Not - not really. You?_"

Kiba shook his head, even though he knew she wouldn't be able to see it. "Do you want to grab a coffee, or something, if you're not busy?"

"_I think... that I'd like that. I'll meet you - where_?"

"Dunno. Do you want me to come and get you?"

"_Uhm, sure_."

"So... see you?"

"_Yeah. Well. Bye_."

"Bye." The line went dead, and Kiba was left to listen to a flatline.

Somehow, it was more then fitting.

* * *

Shisui stared down at the phone in her palm. This was - weird. Wrong. It was just - everything about it - it felt _wrong_. Kiba. Was she _dating_ Kiba?

... No.

No, this wasn't "dating"; not precisely. They may have been going _on_ a date, but they weren't dating. It wouldn't - it wouldn't screw everything up with Itach-

Shisui stabbed that thought in the eye before it even had a chance to blink. No. No. _No_. There was just - _not_ going there. NOT GOING THERE. It made her physically ill, to think of that note, to think of the - way things had ended.

It made her _sick_.

But Shisui had never been one to back down from adversity (hey, you don't get through loving the same guy for a decade without having a _very_ stiff upper lip), and this was no different. Well, if he really felt _nothing_ for her, then she wasn't going to worry about it.

She was going to go out, and she was going to be ridiculously pretty, and she was going to have fun, and she was _staunchly_ going to ignore everything that had to do with her family. Shisui stood up with a long-suffering sigh, and headed to her bathroom - there had to be _some_ way she could make herself presentable.

_He_ was good at ignoring the obvious.

Shisui clenched her jaw, and decided that anything he could do, she could do better.

And she intended to prove it.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Kiba stood in front of Shisui's front door, hands shoved in his pockets. His head was bent, hair falling over his eyes, and it took more strength of will then he had to raise his fist and knock on the door.

He didn't even have to.

As he was gathering all the courage he had in his body to ring the bell, the door opened. Shisui stood there, decked out in a Little Black Dress, heels, hair in perfect curls, and... hell, she looked cold.

Kiba gulped.

"He-hey," he managed.

Shisui smiled weakly at him. "Hi."

"Coffee?" he asked, quiet.

"Coffee's good."

He raised a shoulder in a crow's shrug, and indicated the direction of his car. "C'mon. Let's go."

Still she smiled. "Yeah. Let's."

And so they did.

* * *

Itachi sat on Shisui's bed like he had so many times before, but it felt... _different_, somehow. Her bed was messily made as usual, the covers shifted a bit more towards the right side of the bed, like always. It brought to mind the brief time period when they were both seven and she had a really bad fever and refused to go to sleep unless he sat right next to her. Every time he had left to get a drink of water, he returned to find her either awake or sleeping fitfully, turning every which way. Only when he returned to sitting next to her did she sleep with that smile on her face again.

But, unlike times past, it seemed that she didn't need him anymore.

She had… Kiba.

Even his mind spat out the name as if it was a poisonous adder to be squished beneath his heel.

He remembered standing silently on Shisui's doorstep in the midst of the mid-December chill and snow just a few minutes prior. He remembered hearing the sharp sound as his knuckles met the deep cherry wood in a dark kiss. The frigid temperature had made using the door knocker an unpleasant instrument of torture and his aunt and uncle still hadn't seen fit to replace the doorbell. When his aunt- not Shisui- had opened the door, he had opened his mouth to speak, but she had beaten him to the punch. "Hello, Itachi-kun. I'm sorry, but Shisui isn't here right now. That nice Inuzuka boy came by earlier to pick her up... She was a bit over-dressed for..."

The words were stuck in Itachi's head like a broken record in a loop, sending him plummeting into a deep abyss- somewhere between a normal deep pit and hell. Faintly, he detected something that sounded like an apologetic tone in his aunt's voice, but he stoned his heart _(himself_) against it. He didn't listen to the words- the "blah blah hurt blah pain blah heartbreak" that seemed to rush out of Aunt's mouth.

(_He formed no comprehension of it so it couldn't hurt, could it?_)

Slipping his feet into the house slippers he had been gifted with the twenty-first time Shisui's parents had found him in their house within a week three years ago, he allowed his aunt to help him remove his coat and put it away in a closet before slipping up the stairs and to his cousin's room.

Returning to the present, Itachi reflected on the strange feeling of being in her room.

It was not the first time that he'd been in her room alone, yet it felt right. Like there was something there that had been there- something that has hidden itself under miles of sand, waiting for the right moment to let the wind blow its cover off to reveal itself. The sense that something important is just about to happen was tingling and he couldn't help shifting awkwardly on her dark blue covers. Feeling the tension build, he could almost _feel_ the cold sweat break out on his forehead.

Must.

Break.

_Tension_.

Almost robotically, he stood up and walked to the center of the room. Turning around, he could see everything in the room. Her bed was slightly rumpled from where he had been sitting on it, but it was hard to tell from its original state of disarray, unless a person were to be in possession of an eye for detail (like Itachi, of course).

But there was something off about her desk.

It was surprisingly very meticulously organized. Textbooks were stacked neatly within one of the drawers and pens were neatly placed in a penholder while looseleaf sat in its neat packaging.

Shisui had moved something. Not to mention the sudden order to her entire room- not just her desk.

One of Shisui's traits that Itachi always has found reassuring, was that Shisui was rather set in her habits. For instance, she always kept her closet in rainbow colored order. She still held her breath as she passed cemeteries in fear of some wandering spirit stealing her soul- she insisted it was because it would be rude to show off the fact that you were still alive and breathing in front of those who weren't alive and couldn't breathe. Like all of these things, the habit of organized chaos had been so deeply ingrained into Shisui's state of being.

Which was why this sudden organized... _cleanliness_ seemed so odd.

When he opened the lowest drawer, he quickly saw the one area that obviously was still a mess.

A large area was outlined in dust; close examination revealed thin lines within the large rectangular shape. Things were stacked here and, seeing as none of the objects on the desk are quadrangular in dimensions, something had been moved. The smearing of the dirt made Itachi think she moved something with haste.

She must have had something to hide.

Thinking back to the last time he had searched her desk for a pencil sharpener, he vaguely remembered seeing gigantic stacks of envelopes lying in the drawer- many. There would probably be enough to make a pyramid of envelopes from the basement to the top of the house.

So where have they gone?

A steely glint lit Itachi's eyes.

He knows his cousin better than his own home- where he had lived his whole life.

Shisui's habits were the same.

When she had something to hide, she always hid it in the same place. When she had received that message from Kotetsu (he still didn't know why they had broken up. They had seemed happy, but after their last talk- the one where they had mutually decided to part, she had come back, pale-faced. Itachi had offered to throw him into the local koi pond), she had placed her phone...

He ran for the drawer.

Closing his eyes, he reached his hand into the drawer, prepared to snatch it away at the slightest brush of silk.

But Itachi's hand didn''t brush panties or bras (Kami, how he cringed; his ears _burnt_ at the thought of _specific_ types of _underwear_. _Shisui's_ underwear). Instead, the roughness of paper and the whisper of callouses catching on the small bumps he had never before realized paper had. That was what he felt.

Yanking the drawer open now, he stared, dumbfounded at the sheer number of envelopes stuffed with notecards written in letter-format inside what used to be Shisui's underwear drawer.

_This must be what a post office looks like_, he thought absentmindedly as he picked up the one on top of the first pile to his left. Out of the twelve total piles, it seemed to be the newest, seeing as the paper was less wrinkled and even less yellow.

Apparently, Shisui had been writing for quite a while.

_If this is a post office, it's like the Post Office of Misfit Letters or the Post Office of Letters Never Sent_…

But considering his cousin- something that was hard to think considering how his heart was beating like it had never beat before- Shisui and her obsession with writing every single detail- her memory for said detail- and how she was so _wordy_- well, each letter would be important.

So he set down the letter he had picked up first, back where it had previously been and carefully picked up, instead, the darkest, most wrinkled pile with letters. They were almost _blurry_ from the amount of ... something... that had been shed on them.

Then, sitting down on the rug with his legs crossed, he started to read from the letter on the bottom- one that was obviously the beginning of a story.

_His_ Shisui's story.

_August 16th, age fourteen  
Dear Itachi,_

_Hi. I've just realized that I love you.  
I only figured it out because I saw you kissing... someone. Someone who wasn't... wasn't family. A girl._

_It broke my heart._

_But you know what hurts the worst?  
You promised you'd never let anyone hurt me, because I'm your best friend. I don't think you even realize how much you've hurt me. No one else can ever come _close_ to hurting me as much as you have._

_Cordially,  
Shisui_

He shifted against the rug, startled by elegantly-written words given so freely.

_Love_...

For a while, he had been questioning love. Ever since he had begun wondering why Shisui made his heart go five times as fast, why his hands grew clammy when he dragged her any place, why- why many things...

What _was_ love?

For hours, he had sat at his desk, analyzing this conundrum in his head. His eyes had probably glazed over as they fixed themselves on the asymmetrical stucco pattern on his ceiling, trying to find some pattern in a sea of scattered dots.

Love, amor, l'amour, liefde, kærlighed, kärlek...

In every language created by mankind, there is a word for love yet no real definition. The dictionary could give a person "a strong positive emotion of regard and affection", but what did that _mean_?

The truth was this: how can one define something so hazy yet clear? No one ever feels it the same way. Not everyone experiences the way your stomach flip-flops when they smile at you or the way you feel _hot_ wherever they touch you or even when you become some sort of a _fool_ every time you feel their eyes on you. Like everything else in this world, the feeling of love has been custom designed for each person.

Yet it is a part of the common human experience.

So what was love?

Love, he had finally decided, was many things.

It was, first and foremost, made of passion. Passion made everything crazy. Nothing in love ever made sense, after all. People did crazy things in the name of love. They killed, they hurt, they died, they pushed people away for the sake of love. For the love of someone else, great and terrible things had happened.

(_Was this the face that launch'd a thousand ships,_  
_And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?_)

There was no control. There was nothing but rage and intense obsession and happiness-

Itachi had given up early in his comprehension of the emotion when it came to passion for the very reason that it was undefinable.

But passion had filled everything, from the kisses, to the way he had _urges_ every time Shisui had grabbed his hands. They were scary primal commands, like holding her close to him and taking her for his own because _dammit_, she was supposed to be his. It was in _everything_ and-

This love thing was, again, rather nonsensical and illogical and irrational.

The next ingredient for love was understanding. Quite the opposite of passion, it was fueled by logic. To be attracted to someone, there is something tangible. Lust was a frequent component- simply some sort of a physical attraction. But then there was the opposite of lust. There was a feeling for who a person is at the level of their soul. Their imperfections, their talents- the entire package- everything that a person is. There was no right or wrong- it was acceptance of everything that we love and hate.

Then there is the matter of pure connection. It was in the way they could make the right person feel completely at peace even when everything was all wrong. Dazed, Itachi figured that had to be the reason that he always felt _right_ when he was with Shisui- the only time he felt perfectly _whole_ without a hole inside.

Sometimes love became intertwined with hate. The difference was so minute- they were both so different that they were everything and nothing like the other. Love gave another person so much power over someone else and it was so _detestable_ but no one ever had a hold on it. Love happened to most anyone by complete accident. It was never an active choice- it just began,

The heart of love, Itachi concluded, was this: when a person says, "I love you", they don't mean that matter-of-fact definition of love. They don't think about "affection" or "regard". They mean "I want to be with you for whatever part of forever I can get". They mean things that they- maybe everyone may not be able to explain. People try their best to put it into words but they can only get so far.

_(I love you)_

Fingers shaking, he set the first letter down carefully and picked up the second.

(_i__n a way that makes me hate myself because it's so wrong)_

The next thing he knew, three hours had passed and he had reached the last stack.

_(and I almost hate you because it's your fault that you make me feel like the luckiest guy in the whole world to make you smile)_

Picking up the top letter, he recognized it as the day he and Shisui had spied on Sasuke.

_September 24th, age twenty-two  
Dear Itachi,_

_You don't even **get** it, do you? Do you even **notice** that I **shake** when you're around?  
You're... so oblivious that it kills my soul a little bit at a time._

_Temari says I should dump you.  
But I'm not even dating you. I don't even know what this **thing** that we have is. Like... what am I, to you? Am I just your cousin? Because, as far as I'm concerned, we've had some moments that are **definitely** not moments cousins should have.  
God, the thought that this (whatever the hell **this** is) could technically be considered incest makes me want to be sick, y'know?_

_...Speak of the devil, you just sent me an email. A mission.  
We haven't had a mission since I was thirteen. I think I miss them._

_Sort of the way I miss you, but not quite as fiercely.  
**I miss you so much it hurts**._

_Cordially,  
Shisui_

In some areas of this letter, Shisui had dug the tip of her pen into the paper so hard it was almost possible to read words like _notice_ and _shake_ from the other side of the paper (the sparkly blue stains made it a bit difficult).

She had called him oblivious.

Itachi tried to rationalize her thinking him _oblivious_ to be ridiculous.

_(But it wouldn't work. Never had, did it? You hide from things you don't understand and you can't see that you've already _lost)

She had kept her feelings for him deep down, only letting them out in these letters he had been reading for the past three hours. Many times, they were the same, full of words that ask _why_ must she feel this way. It is almost like writing her diary.

A diary devoted to one topic: him.

What, Itachi wondered, made her think that the two of them are _possible_. They were cousins- their blood is close enough that it might as well be incest.

(_Of course, he had been trying to figure out the same thing, for some time, by then._

_If love were a choice, who would choose it?)_

_..._

_(Everyone)_

When Itachi heard some clock in the house mark the hour, he stared uncertainly at the doors. Based on his watch, he has been reading for the past three and a half hours. His immersion had led him through the past seven years of their friendship and he could recall the many things that had occurred. It was like she had written a letter every time they had spent an extended period of time together...

But she might be home soon. Perhaps he had not partaken in a date as of late, but Itachi was sure that... she would be home soon.

Casting another cursory glance at the door, he sent himself spiraling again into Shisui's private thoughts- a place where there was only him and her and blood that couldn't come between them.

* * *

_They were children._

_(Was he thirteen? Something like that.)_

_Shisui, in a dress the colour of the sunshine in the midst of summer, was standing in a green field full of daisies, underneath a blue sky. Her hair was curly and the colour of midnight, snaking around her face like careful strokes of blue-black ink against cream vellum._

_She was shaking with laughter, her eyes alight with it, and she was waving at him, frantic for attention, among a sea of upturned, white faces._

_And she was beautiful, right then._

_That was how Itachi always wanted to remember her; beautiful and happy, standing in a field of daisies._

* * *

Itachi reached down and he found the last letter. The handwriting started out normally, with her elegant script, but somewhere around the middle, it descended into something strangely messy- uncharacteristic of Shisui- as if she had written it in a rush.

Intrigued, he had a feeling that this- this letter that looks like it was written in the middle of a tornado- would be the answer to everything.

This... It would either damn everything in the previous letters or give him... something.

Something he wasn't quite sure he could exactly identify, but something that excited that... _thing_ deep within him.

_November 18th, age twenty-two  
Dear Itachi,_

_I feel like such a slut._

_I just... I just... I feel like such a slut._

_This may come as kind of a shock, but I'm only "dating" Kiba to get back at you. Well, to get back at you, and because he's nice and doesn't make my chest ache. It's a little awkward, because he **is** Hana's little brother, and I've known him for a long time... But he doesn't make me hurt.  
__Sometimes I catch you staring at me. And then I wonder why. And then I remember that you still think we're cousins. Hah.  
And then I think that I'm a coward for not telling you sooner. I'm scared of losing... everything. I'm just ridiculously scared over nothing._

_So I guess I'll do it now, because this might be last chance I get. Given what's going on, you're probably not going to want to talk to me ever again. I'm definitely not okay with that. And so I'll get this out now, and maybe hate myself a little less._

_Uchiha Itachi. Uchiha Shisui.  
We're not related.  
**We're not related**.  
Not at all. Not even a little bit. We don't share blood._

_I was adopted. Mom told me when I was twelve... the doctors told her that she wouldn't be able to conceive, so they adopted me. And then when Sai was born... they loved me too much, apparently, to let me leave. And I look enough like her and Dad and Sai that I could actually be the biological child... But I'm not. My eyes are blue, Itachi._

_My eyes are __**blue**__._

_All I know is how to chase you. But I think I'm kind of tired of running after you.  
So I'm going to give up. This is the last letter I'll write you for a while.  
I think **I stopped running after you months ago**._

_The most depressing thing is that you'll never know._

_Could you just do me a single favor?  
If you ever get the chance, could you listen to Your Heart Is An Empty Room, by Death Cab For Cutie? It's on an old mix CD of mine. Track six..  
Maybe you'll finally understand why it's my favourite song._

_Cordially,  
Shisui_

Hands shaking.

Mind racing.

It explained all of the explosions of emotions and the times he just couldn't explain why he felt like someone Up There- some kami or Buddha or whoever you want to believe- seemed to believe his life was a soap opera. Falling for his cousin... Not even his earlier thoughts could ease the blow of that.

Legs trembling, Itachi made his way to Shisui's large collection of CDs. They took up one whole shelf of her bookcase, stacked in twenty piles of five. For a while, he stared at it, wondering how he'd know which CD to listen to before seeing one with a very worn booklet as the cover.

Picking it up, he saw the tell-tale stains where many tears had probably fallen.

It had to be the right one.

Opening the CD player by Shisui's bedside, he placed it in there. With a furrowed brow, he looked at the back of the CD case and found song six.

He pressed play and lay on _her_ bed, surrounded by open envelopes, as the song began its round. The acoustics of Shisui's room had always been good, allowing the vocals of any song she played to just grow and _breath_ in the empty space as well as the keys of the piano as she pressed on them to just tinkle in fading air...

So Itachi lost himself in a song of hurt and loss, relaxing as he felt something like Shisui wash over him.

Then the door swung open...

...the spell broke...

...and Itachi was dropped into a different story- one with Shisui encased in the mutt's leather jacket, a black dress that hugged all of her curves in a way that made him go breathless. Strappy red heels- that matched blood and her lipstick- made her legs look even longer than he had ever thought they could be.

He had never before seen anything that caused his self-control to shake as it came so close to becoming completely fucking undone. It wasn't so much the dress and the shoes that made her look like- It was the coat, a symbol of _ownership_.

_(She was his, always his, always, forever, _everything)

Shisui stared at him with wide black-lined eyes and thick lashes (they fluttered slightly in the air conditioner's stream of wind - who _was_ she?). She had that deer-in-the-headlights look on that was both familiar and completely alien. All he could really see was her eyes- _blue eyes, _blue_ eyes- _and all he could feel was

this-

dead-

moment.

The song continued to croon even as heat built itself into a crushing climax between the two people on opposite sides of the same room.

_Spring blooms and you find the love that's true  
But you don't know what now to do  
Cause the chase is all you know  
And she stopped running months ago._

But then she _did_ run and Itachi knew he had to go after her before she was lost to him forever. He could hear the click of her heels, as she ran down the stairs, but he coudn't bring himself to unfreeze just yet...

Then the front door slammed with an awful finality (just like the bells say, as they rang on the hour, every hour, a few blocks down at the church).

For once, he put his fears and denial aside and did what he should have done the first time this whole mess began- this game of hide 'n' seek and cat and mouse.

He chased her.

Itachi didn't know what she wanted- if she still _wanted_ him- but it wasn't the time for consideration. There was a here and now and he would take it because that's what he did. He took what a claim to everything else that he wanted.

When hadn't he?

He wanted her (_love, heart, self, breath, hugs, smiles, sunshine, _everything).

So he forgot his jacket and remembered her legs moving at a pace that seemed almost like she was flickering through space and time, and he rushed downstairs. He ignored that he was not wearing a jacket and that he had forgotten to remove his house slippers - Uncle and Aunt would yell and not let him visit, but if he could succeed in this, he wouldn't need to visit their house all of the time anyways - and that ice covered every possible surface...

All he could think was that this could be- no, _was_- his One Chance.

So he ran.

* * *

Shisui was good at running.

Really, really, _really_ good at it.

Running was a steady, pumping rhythm _leftrightleftrightleftright_ that she loved, and it usually calmed Shisui's over-active imagination. Shisui could run in anything; barefeet, heels, runners, heels, flip-flops, _heels_. And did she mention heels?

(She was kind of thankful for that last one, right then.)

Because she was running.

Running from Itachi.

She'd seen that look in his eye. And she'd seen the tell-tale evidence - there were envelopes everywhere, paper strewn across her bedroom floor in a jumble that had Shisui's mind twitching. She was crazy, okay, she knew that, but Itachi was good at bringing out the worst (best) in her. She knew that look.

It was the one he wore when he was about to do something unpleasant.

So she was running.

(She was good at it. And heartbreak made for a terrible aftertaste. After all -

There was nothing that took the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love.)

* * *

He wasn't trained- he was all heart (_an Uchiha with a heart?_) and soul. He was on a mission- love didn't guide him so much as a desperate, desperate need for something that getting away from him faster than the White Rabbit from Alice.

Late?

Yes, he was.

But it wasn't _over_.

Itachi wasn't going to wait and hope that Shisui would come back. Since when would an Uchiha be the waiting type.

He ignored how he'd been sitting on his ass, waiting for... something. He'd never known what, exactly, he was searching for. Had he been waiting to break so that he would stop seeing the same way? Since when had he been blinded by his mind?

Or maybe it was that people were _born_ blind, waiting for the right person or people to take off the sunglasses in a dark room. Perhaps they were meant to spend their days in the dark so once they did open up their eyes, they would see something brilliant and blinding. But that didn't mean they were blinded in the same way. Did anyone ever know what they were looking for? Did they know who has the other end of the proverbial red thread?

It was something you find out when you're ready to face it. Love- if that's what this was- was like getting struck by lightning. The world becomes filled with a tingling static that gives you charge- love gave him someone to be and live for and-

He saw a streak of red darting to the right two blocks ahead of him.

_I won't let you get away this time_.

* * *

Where to go, where to go, where to _go_...

There was snow on the ground.

That stopped Shisui short.

Snow.

That place would be beautiful, covered in snow. That special, special place - it would be amazing, all shimmer-white and sparkling the the cold light that filtered through the clouds. Shisui changed direction, and headed towards the edge of town.

It had always been a thing of chagrin, to Shisui's parents. As a child, she'd disappear for hours and hours on end - and they could never find her. She would return hours later, happy and burnt, in the summer, and chilled and red-cheeked in the winter.

(The would end up sending Itachi out to find her; he was the only other person who knew about Shisui's Special Place, but then, Shisui was ignoring that particular piece of information. Actually, she was mostly blocking all thought of him; at least for the moment. There would be time, later, to digress.)

But she'd never seen that place covered in snow.

It didn't snow, very often, in Konoha.

It would be cold, Shisui mused, as she ran in the direction of that special field. Heels were all well and good, but they provided little protection against the cold, and the vibrantly red tights she was sporting did little better to cut the chill. Kiba's jacket, though, was leather, heavy and warm, and it would do fine.

She would go home later.

And she's face Itachi _later_.

But for now...

For now, she would run.

* * *

Panting, Itachi found himself cursing Shisui and her long legs and her predisposition for distances that, while not surpassing his stamina, tested his willpower. Was she trying to make him give up?

Was she trying to say "_I'm not worth it_..."

or "_prove that this isn't just a chase_."

And he could.

This wasn't _a_ chase- this was _the_ chase. Everything every _wrong_ right kiss, the overprotective gestures... It was foreplay when it came to this.

Itachi wasn't sure what he'd say. Kisame would say "Start with the truth- the obvious." But "I love you and you are killing me slowly" wasn't the thing to say. He couldn't tell her how every thought of her made him want to die. How every time he thought about white and churches and long aisles that ended at a beginning he thought of her. How... she touched him more than anyone- other than his mother, that is, but he pushed her away- and made every day another new pain that he loved enough to endure.

But then he remembered.

He was Itachi.

He didn't do pretty words and grand gestures.

He did stupid things and ruined things.

But she loved him anyway, which had to count for something, right?

Speaking of which...

Where had she gone?

She wasn't doing the logical thing, standing beneath an umbrella or overhang. She hadn't entered any buildings- even from a block and a half, he would have seen or heard the door open and close.

But then he saw a familiar figure on the corner of the street.

Jogging up to them, he dropped his hands onto his knees and tried to catch his breath.

"Heh-heh-he-heh-hey."

* * *

Kotetsu looked down at Itachi.

Ah.

So _that_ was what Shisui was booking it away from. Shisui was always running from something or other; but usually it was Itachi (or Calculus, but that was a totally different story). Or possibly Kotetsu's own girlfriend; Hana could be a scary bitch when she wanted to be.

But that was not the point.

"She went _that_ way," he said.

Itachi poignantly looked away. "You seem to be under the assumption I am following someone."

Kotetsu snorted. "You seem to be under the delusion that I don't know you. She went _that_ way. Go, before you lose her for good, you fucking idiot."

Itachi just glared at him, before taking off in the direction indicated. Kotetsu smirked to himself.

It was about fucking time.

* * *

Shisui carefully made her way through the snow, her nose bright red, as snow and the snow-melting kind of salt (the sea-blue coloured salt) crunched under her feet as she rounded the last bend, and her secret place was in sight.

It was just an abandoned park, right next to rarely-used train tracks. There were swings, and a dilapidated seesaw, but Shisui ignored them both in favour of heading down to the little creek that ran right along the tracks, hidden in the trees, just out of sight.

The snow around her ankles was cold. Shisui shivered, and stood in front of an old oak tree. It was a big tree; it had been her perfect climbing tree, as a child. The knotty wood had made for good hand and footholds; Shisui found that time had not changed this.

She kicked off her heels (determined to ignored the cold), and began the ascent. Her favourite old groove, sandwiched between two protective-looking braches, was free of snow. Shisui settled herself into it comfortably, and wrapped her arms around her knees.

She needed to think.

She _needed_ to _think_.

And this was the best place to do it.

Shisui settled back, and took a deep breath of the icy, clean air into her lungs.

Now, where to begin...

* * *

The area was familiar- something from over a decade ago, when the world had seemed a lot more stable. It was much less complicated, more fun, and-

Itachi nearly skidded to a stop as something hit him- metaphorically, that is.

This was Shisui's childhood haunt. He remembered the week when they were seven and she would disappear for _hours_ at a time. Everyone would be worried as hell; his father would be organizing police searches and his mother and aunt would huddle together, discussing their own Special Places as children or how many sexual offenders were in the area at last count. They'd sounded light hearted, but some part of Itachi _knew_ that there was more than a little bit of worry in their voices.

But she always came back without fail, a skip in her step and a whistle on her lips.

(_He stalked as quietly as possible down the path, past swingsets and seesaws and happy memories._)

Everyone would converge on her, _demanding_ to know where she'd been and did she know just how worried everyone was and never do that again-

But Shisui always _smiled_ through all of the loud voices.

(_There was the water..._)

So the fifth day that happened, Itachi slinked off after her as she left the house very, very early. It had been a long journey, but she finally stopped walking...

Right...

Here...

Itachi looked up from the pair of black heels he'd found in the snow by the creek's edge.

"We need to talk."

* * *

That voice. _That voice_. _Why_ was _that voice_ that invading her space? _Why_? She was trying to get _away_ from _that voice_, thanks very much!

Shisui closed her eyes, and fought the urge to throw something at him. Instead, she took a deep breath in through her nose, opened her eyes, and asked, her voice soft "Do we? I don't think so. There's nothing to talk about."

* * *

He gave a forced chuckle.

"And that's why you're sitting in a tree after you found me in your room."

Itachi paused for a few minutes, debating on what to say. The right thing... was there a right or a wrong or was it just... a thing?

"You know... I really don't know what to say. That's _your_ thing, not mine. I'm not perfect- I screw everything up, but you give me the will to put it back together."

The words were stuck to the top of his mouth, like whenever he ate a ham and cheese sandwich and the white bread stuck up there. Instinctively, he coughed and ran his tongue across the top palate of his mouth. It didn't really work, but he forced the words out of his mouth.

"Every time something emotional comes up, I run in the opposite direction. Nothing I do takes into consideration other people and how it might affect them. By the time I take the time to turn around & evaluate the situation, it's too late to take it all back. I... don't really know how to say how I feel; I'm broken and I break people... I..."

He couldn't see the right way to proceed, so he became silent.

* * *

Shisui didn't even look at him, and laughed softly. "Yeah, you're kind of good at that." She paused for a moment, cruelty welling up in her chest. "Breaking people, I mean."

He said nothing.

He was probably looking up at her. Shisui didn't want to care, but she did. She stretched her fingers up into the air, felt the thick leather shift around her frame, and looked at her fingers. Against the scraggly dark branches and pale grey sky, they looked lonesome, and a little sad.

But then, that was her whole life, wasn't it?

"How much did you read?" she asked, the only noise in that quiet, cold place.

"Every letter. Every word. Everything that I did and didn't want to know. Enough to have some hope."

"Hope?" Shisui asked, incredulous. She was just - just going to _kill_ him. What right did _he_ have to talk about _hope_? "What's that?"

"Hope... is a feeling that assures you that there's a possibility for a future."

Shisui expelled all the air in her body in a heavy, tired sigh. He was ridiculous. Really, _really_ ridiculous. She'd given up on things like _hope_ and _happiness_ and _family_ a long time ago. Her voice was a breath of dead leaves over dry pavement, "So why are you still here, then?"

"Because you gave me hope."

Shisui turned her face up, up, up, until the only thing in her line of vision was the grey of the sky and the dark-wood of the winter branches, clawing through the air. She didn't cry. She just stared stared, and wondered. "Why do you do things like this, to me?"

She really wanted to know.

* * *

Trying to not shiver, Itachi leaned against the tree. His arms were like iron vines, the way they interlaced.

It wasn't because he was trying to not look at Shisui's face.

Because it didn't hurt at all.

Really.

But he tried not to think about how angry he with Shisui- with himself- with the world. Did she not _see_ what she did to him? Uchihas never run away- they run towards the problem, bulldozing everything that came in their path. She made him turn to flight, not fight. She made him want to throw everything away for her, but Shisui made him so nervous at the times so he ended up throwing everything in her face and heading for the nearest stage left.

So he turned the tables.

"Do you really think yourself blameless? You aren't the only victim here, no matter what your pretty little head tells you. You... you don't _get_ it. Love isn't a one-way street."

The world stood still for a moment- their breaths hovered over the earth like so many ice particles, the snow stopped, the moon stopped shining and everything seemed bathed in horribly staining red.

Then it spun into action and everything fell into the wrong place.

* * *

"Love? I don't even know what love is," Shisui mumbled.

She didn't even know if he would hear it; if she was lucky, he wouldn't. But it was true. What did she -_she_, falling in "love" with someone who was, for all intents and purposes, off limits- know about _love_?

She knew that it hurt a lot of the time. Yes, she knew that. She knew that he made her crazy, and made her want to run and run and run until everything physcially _hurt_, and she couldn't do it anymore; she knew that, too. She knew that it brought the highest highs and the lowest lows. She knew it brought tears.

Lots and lots of tears.

No, she knew absolutely nothing about love.

* * *

It felt like the world was growing steadily colder. Ice swam in his veins like swordfish in the sea as he tried to... he didn't really know. Itachi, as he'd said many times, wasn't one for words. Like always she was left out of his reach in the sky as he was trapped by... gravity, or something. She was so high above him, like the sun floating in the sky with clouds trawling across it. When you sit in an airplane cresting above the clouds, they're below you and you are still not touching the sun.

They were like that.

Gripping the ends of his shirt sleeves, Itachi gave a snort.

"You really don't know what you're like, do you? You don't know how hard it is to _look_ at you and think that these feelings are wrong. You don't see how much you... _shine_." The words were tumbling out too fast. They lacked the coherency he prided himself on; all he could hope was that she _understood_.

"You don't understand how much of a punishment loving you is for me- what did I ever do wrong to deserve this?

"What could I ever do to deserve _you_?"

The only noise coming from above him was the rustle of branches- Shisui was either ignoring him or just not talking, considering each word much more carefully than him.

But did she know what?

Itachi was done with being careful. Itachi was done with considering every option until he didn't have any left. He was done with letting care rule his life.

So he opened his mouth and spilled.

Every thought that had gone through his head as he'd read the letters- all the thoughts that had been borne as soon as he had knocked on her door.

_This is my diary_.

* * *

It was like listening to a broken record on repeat. He kept saying things like "deserve" and "punishment" and Shisui just didn't get it. This was a side of him she only rarely saw - it was his nervous side, his worst side, because Itachi _sucked_ at feelings.

She'd known that for a long time.

She waited for him to finish.

"Do you want to come up? It's - a little warmer up here, away from the snow. So... do you?" she asked him, almost afraid of the answer.

The whole world went still, and stopped breathing. The axis of Shisui's world was about to change.

_Please don't let me have made a mistake_, she thought desperate.

* * *

He looked very slowly, as if afraid that if he blinked or took it all in too fast, she would disappear.

"Are... are you sure?" Itachi whispered as if he was afraid that his words would break worlds- the bridge between them that was still new. They were both too good at running away from each other that the only thing that could hold them down to earth was each other. How could that be torn apart?

The air was filled with the kind of hesitancy that precedes the End of the World- should the bomb be sent or should it stay? What was the value of anything in this kind of world as Itachi stood there, waiting for the proclamation.

Because he could do nothing (on purpose) that would hurt Shisui and he wondered if she _knew_ that.

"Yeah. Just for a little while. And then we'll both go back to the real world. But for a while... Please?"

There wasn't anything he could say or do other than stare at the tree before settling his feet between the cracks in the bark and beginning the ascent.

* * *

Shisui waited for Itachi to finish climbing. She squirmed over in the crook of the branches, and left him enough space to sit next to her. He was warm, so warm, and Shisui sank into his side with a sigh. "We like screwing ourselves over, don't we?"

"I'm not sure we like it so much as we are helpless to stop ourselves from taking action in a rather unhelpful way," he muttered.

"Isn't that the same thing?" she asked, again, staring out at the tops of the winter-dead trees.

"No. Because we don't want to hurt. But we don't know how to get the pain to stop. Except... there's that saying. You know the one I'm talking about? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop."

Shisui shrugged, a little, and dropped her head down onto his shoulder. "So what are we supposed to do? Stop hurting each other? _How_?"

* * *

"I don't think we can ever _stop_ hurting each other. The reason we hurt each other is because we feel something so much that everything we do to each other is amplified- everything means something and the only way to deal with it is reacting instinctively.

"We don't allow each other to _think_. We need... to come to a decision. About what to do. Because you're Shisui and I'm Itachi. That's... a whole psychology book of complicatedness. Then you add in Kiba and the world seems to... _explode_."

He allowed his mouth to shut as he leaned his head, letting it rest on Shisui's.

"I'm.. sorry, about that. That was out of line." Her voice was small and muffled- was it because of the hand over her mouth or was his hearing fuzzy?

"About what?"

"Kiba."

His throat caught and everything seemed to be in a giant porcelain bowl falling to the ground in slow motion. There was a flaming _burning_ sensation around his stomach and his fingers instinctually clenched into fists.

"Can we not- can it- Can you not say his name like that?"

* * *

Shisui could _feel_ him stiffen.

And she understood.

But he had been _just_ as out of line, and _just_ as inconsiderate as she had been; but then, that was past, and things had changed, and they hadn't, and - and he was really good at making her forget about all the things that hurt the most.

"What do you _want_ me to say?" she asked him, unmoving. She was comfortable. She was warm. Things felt a little bit okay, for the first time in a very, very, _very_ long time. Was it wrong, to want that kind of feeling for te rest of forever?

"Nothing. Everything. Whatever you want."

Shisui pulled away from, and looked him in the face, her eyes grave. There were some things she just couldn't _say_ - some things that were made cheap through words. Because words were cheap, so cheap, and-

And Shisui didn't want that.

She looked at him for another few seconds, before closing her eyes, carefully touching the ice-cold tips of her fingers to his cheeks, and kissing him on the lips.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**We aren't giving you a reprieve- this isn't the end- it's a beginning to many ends because just a start requires the line to end somewhere. We all roll along anyway. ****Reviews make us happier than anything you could imagine - it's how we know that you are involved in this too. SO YES PLEASE? WE LOVE YOU ALL.**


	34. how to break bones in bars

**disclaimer**: FFFFFFF.  
**dedication**: to new music, and best friends' solidarity when we go through the trying times, because, hell, we all have them, and having friends around makes it a little better. also to **You Me At Six**. possibly the best band ever (excluding Blink&JEW, because they're like gods. they are not mortals. kpce).

**Sara thinks that**: men are really, really over-rated. i'm going lesbian. girls hurt less then boys do. :(  
**Les is droppin' the towel**: fuck, this shit isn't funny anymore. i need happiness right the fuck now. this is cramping up my style. so not hot.  
**Sonya has a new objective**: is cheerful. hit me baby one more time. metaphorically. now, flirtflirtflirtttttt.

* * *

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* * *

The next morning, Kiba really fucking hated everything.

That was really all he could think about. Everything hurt, his mouth was dry, and, _fuck_, oh, _fuck_, he was _never_ fucking drinking _ever fucking again_.

Kiba dropped his head into his hands, and wondered at just how much he'd fucked up. The image of _her _(her, because he still couldn't think - let alone _say_ - her name; _her_, because the image of her long blonde hair cascading down her back like a waterfall was burned onto the back of his retinas), standing on tiptoe to - _kiss_ - someone else, sent a wave of nausea through Kiba's body, and he had a horrible urge to vomit.

He had a feeling that he was going to feel like he was going to vomit for the a very, very long time.

And Shisui. Fuck. He hadn't treated her any better then he'd treated - _her_ (still couldn't think it, still couldn't say it - _fuck, you're a coward, Kiba_, he told himself).

And he just couldn't fucking do it anymore.

He needed to get the fuck out of Konoha.

_Right_ the fuck _now_.

* * *

How long it took him to get up and off his bed, he didn't know. Days, possibly.

Sasuke walked back into his room, freshly showered, freshly shaved, in nothing but a pair of his boxers. He didn't feel the cold air that sneaked into his room through the small spaces of his windows; he didn't really feel anything - he didn't even feel the steaming hot water as it pounded down on his back and his head as he showered.

He was _hollow_. He didn't even know if that gave any justice to what he was feeling because he had no kind of idea _what _that feeling was. He figured he wasn't... hurt. Because if Sasuke would ever be hurt he'd be gone - out of here. He'd of let go of that person, thing, whatever that hurt him and he'd move on; preferably somewhere else, but... No, Sasuke wasn't hurt.

He was pissed.

Actually, hurt was not what he was feeling because it was too low of an adjective.

He was... Broken, he supposed.

He didn't fucking know.

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his damp hair.

He didn't want to be here anymore, though. Not in Konoha.

He wanted out. Fuckin' fast.

* * *

..._Where the hell _am_ I_? Kiba thought to himself. He'd hit that wonderful Dazed And Confused part of his hangover (which, in theory, was probably the best part; in reality, however, it was probably the worst. Except for the headaches. And the sensitivity to light. ...Well, in spite of all that fun stuff, it was still bad).

Kiba glanced blearily around him.

It kind of looked like Suigetsu's house.

But he wasn't all that sure.

Kiba reached for his phone. Dialed. Listened to the ring tone.

"About time you picked up your phone, prick," he said, and waited for Sasuke to reply.

* * *

By default, Sasuke rolled his eyes. And even _that _was too much effort for him.

"What do you want, Mutt?" he manage to croak out.

Sasuke wasn't vain, but he would admit to himself right then and there, as he stared at himself in the mirror, and that was that he looked like complete shit. He was paler than he normally ever managed to be pale, and his hair, though still damp and messy from his shower, was... _a mess. _And he had bags under his eyes - not light like they normally were from all the all-nighters he'd pulled... These were dark, glaring, awful.

_"What the fuck - where the hell have you been?" _

He closed his eyes and threw himself on his bed, "My house. My room. Why?"

Kiba's gruff voice made him snap his eyes right on open. _"Get the fuck up. We're going."_

This captured what little attention Sasuke had to offer. Suddenly, adrenaline was pumping his veins again; suddenly, alcohol didn't seem enough. Suddenly, Sasuke just wanted to leave. He wanted to get the fuck out of there, and maybe, if he was lucky, never come back. And who else would share that same exact feeling but Kiba?

"Ah," he sighed and rested his palm on his forehead. "_Fine_. But I'm driving."

* * *

Kiba didn't know why Sasuke's demand that he drive fortified his resolve to go - but it did.

"Fuck you. I'll be at your house in fifteen."

The phone clicked off, and Kiba took a breath. It still hurt to breathe, but then - it would probably hurt to breath for a few weeks. How long would it take - how long did it take to fall out of love? Did anyone ever really fall out of love? What the fuck _was_ love, anyway?

It took him three minutes to stuff some clothes in a duffle bag (was it Suigetsu's? It looked like one of Kiba's own things, and he couldn't remember. That, or he just didn't care), two minutes to brush his teeth, and another single minute to scribble a note to Suigetsu.

**_If _**_**she**_**_ comes looking, tell her I've gone. And that I'm sorry. I dunno when I'll be back,  
-Kiba_**

**_P.S. If _**_you_**_ come looking for me, I'm going to slit your throat, asswipe. Don't worry so much._**

There. That would keep the asshole quiet.

At least for a while.

Kiba dragged his hand down his face, and pretended that he knew what he was doing as he slipped out of Suigetsu's house.

So this was it.

He was going.

* * *

Sasuke shivered as he stood up and walked to his closet. After quickly dressing himself, he unhooked his duffle bag and began to shove in some clothes - jeans, t-shirts, boxers, socks; the like. He continue to shiver as he walked into his bathroom an shoved his toothbrush and other toiletries.

As he walked back into his room, he caught the ringtone that specified who the caller was. Sasuke froze and stared at the device on his bed.

Naruto wouldn't understand, if Sasuke told him.

No, actually, Naruto _would _understand; he'd just ignore it and fight it. He'd try to knock some sense into Sasuke and Sasuke didn't want sense. Sasuke loathed sense right now. He wanted to do something stupid. He wanted to leave, get the hell out and breathe in new air.

The ringing stopped.

A minute later, and it was back in play.

Sasuke swallowed and let it ring.

Once it stopped, this time, it didn't ring again. There was the beep that signified a new voicemail. Sasuke refused to hear it.

To get his mind off of it, he walked towards his desk, grabbed two chargers and his Gameboy DS; just in case. The time passed without Sasuke really realizing it, it was when he heard his cellphone ring again that he figured Kiba was outside his house. He ended the call without answering, shoved his phone into the pocket of his hoodie and stalked out of his room.

He sped out of the house to avoid his mother or his father (where the hell was Itachi?) and once he was outside, Sasuke took a breath.

* * *

Kiba was already sitting on the side of the road, waiting. He ran his fingers through his hair.

He felt like he was loosing his mind.

It was 6 AM, and he was losing his mind. Kiba almost snorted.

"Get in here," he said, and didn't even have the energy to call Sasuke a name.

"Move to the passenger seat," Sasuke only said, and Kiba rolled his eyes. He knew, he knew, he knew why Sasuke wanted to drive (it was the speed, it was always the speed, and Kiba didn't begrudge him. _Couldn't_ begrudge him that, not right now), but, still, Sasuke's driving was scary as fuck normally...

But then, Kiba didn't even really care.

And that probably said more then it should have, about his mental state.

"Where are we going?"

Sasuke remained silent, pensive, for a moment. "Wherever we end up."

"Suna's eight hours."

"Suna, then."

Kiba nodded, and didn't bother to buckle himself in.

* * *

Sasuke didn't bother to buckle himself, either, in as he took the driver's seat in Kiba's car.

Right after throwing his duffle bag right next to Kiba's, he closed the door, gunned the ignition and the next thing they knew, they were _flying_. Normally, Sasuke was reckless when he drove - speed limit? Who the hell said Sasuke had a speed limit? His limit was the amount his car could take - two hundred, fine by him. It was a fucking miracle the police _never _caught him.

Or maybe he was just _that _fast.

Their speed was crazy; that was the only way to describe it. Every little bump, and it felt like the car actually lifted itself off the ground; they'd jump off their seat, bang their limbs against something - whatever.

The worst part, though... was that they didn't care.

At all.

When they hit the freeway, Sasuke's speed picked up. The adrenaline in his veins was pumping crazily; it felt like he was doing drugs for the first time, again. And Sasuke fucking loved it.

* * *

.

* * *

Four hours later, Kiba was amazed he wasn't dead.

Given the way Sasuke had been driving, anyway. Kiba was... really amazed that he wasn't dead. He was more amazed at how little he cared. It was barely noon, and Kiba stepped out of the car, and onto the driveway they'd pulled up in to.

There was no snow, yet, in Suna.

But then, it never snowed in Suna, and even this late in November, the sun was out, and it was warm enough that Kiba shed his jacket. He slung it over his shoulder, grabbed his duffle out of the back of his car, and headed straight for the door of the house that was the place where Lee lived.

Or so Kiba assumed, anyway.

It was the address that Lee had given him (them, really - he'd given it to all five of his douchebag friends, just before he left), and had told him that he (they) could crash at, if they ever needed to.

Well, right now, Kiba needed to crash. And maybe not ever go back to Konoha.

But that was debatable.

They'd have to see.

Kiba groaned, and trudged up the driveway, his duffle and his jacket still slung comfortably over his shoulder, Sasuke walking behind him, and rang the bell. Three minutes later, the door swung open, a beaming-as-always Lee standing in the doorjamb. Kiba exhaled noisily, and gave him a brave grin.

"Hey, Lee."

* * *

Sasuke grunted as a salute, not that Lee wasn't used to it. In return, the seemingly-less-hyperactive-than-Naruto-man-who-still-managed-to-be-hyperactive, Lee clapped him on the back as he followed Kiba inside.

He didn't really feel like talking.

Actually, he was kind of damning himself for not packing some sort of liquor in his bag. _What _had he been thinking? Seriously, he kind of felt empty; he felt asphyxiated without something alcoholic around him. Maybe he'll convince Lee (or... Gaara) to lead the way towards a supermarket or something and buy himself a bottle.

His mouth went dry at the thought.

He dumped his bag next to him as he took a seat on the couch; Kiba had already collapsed on an armchair.

"What brings you two here?" Lee asked in a carefully cautious voice, smile fading. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Sasuke decided cautiousness didn't suit Lee well.

Neither Sasuke nor Kiba answered.

Sasuke closed his eyes and tried to keep himself from twitching.

* * *

Kiba eyed Sasuke darkly. He could already _see_ the withdrawal.

Fucking _Sasuke_.

"We just need a place to crash, Lee. Don't worry about it," Kiba told him with a gimped shrug.

Lee stared at him, smile back in place. Kiba knew that he'd learned a long time ago not to question things that involved Sasuke; usually, that was the only way to get through life, because Sasuke was just such a fucking anomaly that he didn't make sense in a world like Lee's.

And that was kind of saying something.

Lee moved aside and let them in. "Well then, friends, come in! There is plenty of food in the fridge, and-"

"-And you better not break anything, Uchiha, because I'll break your skull if you do," a deep, dead voice cut him off. Kiba's lips twitched, threatened a smile.

Gaara never changed.

"Hey Gaara," Kiba greeted. The red-head spared him a half-second glance and a nod. Kiba and Gaara had always got on well, because they never got at each other's throat. Unlike _some_ people - Kiba could feel Sasuke bristling next to him.

Well, this was going to take work. Kiba liked his head where it was, and if Sasuke and Gaara kept this up, Kiba was going to end up laughing, and then he'd _really_ be dead.

God, this might actually work.

(He'd already started to quash the happy feelings that were associated with long blond hair into a tiny little pill box at the back of his mind. At this rate, he might even succeed. But something told Kiba that he wouldn't, and he didn't like it so much.

He sighed.)

* * *

Sasuke slowly turned his head towards the direction where Gaara stood.

Instantly, he was glaring daggers.

Sasuke and Gaara weren't enemies, per se. More like... Like frenemies. As lame as it sounded - such a term that only girls would use. But it really did describe the relationship that he and Gaara had. Honestly, Sasuke already wanted to bash that little red head into something. Preferably something with glass.

"Who the hell do you take me for," he hissed. "How about you keep your mouth shut."

Gaara was offering the same exact glare right back at him. "How about you tell me why you're invading my home?"

"Didn't you hear the Mutt? We need a place to crash for a while."

"I heard Kiba. And he is welcome. You, however..."

Sasuke smirked at him. And Gaara retaliated that with a death glare.

With his smirk still in play, Sasuke said, "I don't think Lee would like it if you kick me out."

"It is my house. Bully for you." Gaara said matter of factly.

Sasuke ran a hand through his hair; the feeling he had been feeling as he argued with Gaara vanished almost randomly. He glared at the wall and stood up, leaving his bag "I don't need this shit right now. I'm out."

And he walked towards the door, opened it, stepped outside... and left.

* * *

Kiba rolled his eyes and dropped his bag. "Gaara, you're such a fuck-head, stop baiting him."

He swung outside, and sort-of jogged down the driveway. Sasuke was already in the car, glaring at nothing in particular. "Get your pathetic ass back in that house, douche," was all that Kiba said.

Sasuke was very monotone. "Fuck you."

Kiba eyeballed Sasuke. "I have the keys, you fucking idiot, so you can't go anywhere anyway. Now get out."

"I'll walk, thanks."

Kiba resisted the urge to suckerpunch Sasuke in the jaw. "Sasuke, just go back inside. You and Gaara are _always_ like that. You know he doesn't mean it."

"It isn't that."

Kiba valiently continued resisting the urge. "Then what _is_ it?"

"I need to... go... do something."

Kiba really didn't like the sound of that. That sounded like one of Sasuke's excuses to go and drunk off his ass - and Sasuke's alcoholism really wasn't funny, right then. "Sasuke, you're not getting drunk. Get back inside before I knock you out."

"Just... just... Kiba. Leave me alone."

"No. This isn't funny anymore."

Sasuke glared. "It never was. I'm not going to _do_ anything, for fuck's sake!"

Kiba glared back. "I don't mean - whatever happened with - her. I mean your alcoholism. It's not fucking funny anymore. Get inside. _Now_."

"Alcoh-What? I-" Sasuke paused, and ran a hand through his hair. "-I need it. Just... I fucking need it, Kiba. It's not funny."

Okaaay, that wasn't good. Kiba was completely, deadly serious when he said "No. Fuck this. I'm sending you to AA when we get home. This is getting out of hand, man."

Sasuke gave him a look that was somewhere between hopeless and blind with rage.

Kiba didn't care too much.

They stared at each other for another minute, before Kiba sighed and relented. "...Fine. One beer. Get inside."

Sasuke went stiff. "Can I at least take a breather here?"

Kiba stared at him stonily. There were times to give in, with Sasuke, and there were times to fight things. Kiba knew that, probably better then anyone - they'd known each other long enough, now, that fights were a fairly regular occurance.

Fuck, they were too much alike.

Kiba walked around to the passenger seat, and threw himself into the seat. Closed the door.

"I fucking hate you," he muttered, and closed his eyes.

* * *

Sasuke gave him a wry smirk. "I know you do... I didn't mean you had to stay with me."

Kiba spared him a glare. "Shut up. Your mom will kill me if I let you kill yourself."

Sasuke gave him an indignant snort. He turned to spare him a glance before he looked out at the streets with a blank stare. God, Suna was a fuckin' hot place. Sasuke quickly shed his hoodie off an entertained himself with fixing his gray t-shirt. "Kill myself? Why the fuck would I do that? I'm just trying to get my head straight, Mutt."

And it's here that Kiba gave him a deadpanned look. "Your liver is going to shut down, you fuckhead, that's how you'll kill yourself. And getting drunk is going to help you get your head on straight _how_?"

"It'll make me stop thinking," Sasuke smirked bitterly, eyes glued towards the pavement of the streets.

Kiba stopped any kind of movement for a second before he shook his head and looked away. "Find something else."

"Your nagging isn't really helping the cause, Mutt," Sasuke leaned back and closed his eyes. "My breather isn't coming."

Kiba mimicked his movements. "Then shut up and let me sleep."

"Bah, you're a nagging bitch."

"And you're an alcoholic priss."

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was an awful habit of his; running a hand through his hair, messing it up more than it was by default, but... He sighed. "You suck 'Getsu's balls. Let's go back inside. You're irritating me and I don't want to go to jail."

Kiba had a grin that made Sasuke instantly think of Naruto. "You'd like that."

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke's smirked a small smirk that held a tiny dose of playfulness. "Oh yeah, baby. I'd pay to watch that."

"We all know that's the only way you're getting any," Kiba commented lightly, eyes closing again and head leaning against the head of the car seat.

Snorting, Sasuke shook his head. Kiba was the most stupidest human Sasuke has ever interacted with. Why was he friends with him? No, actually why was he friends with any of them? They were all stupid; Sasuke inwardly pouted when his mind told him he was just as stupid and it was all their faults. "You're delusional," he drawled out. "How many times must I remind you that you're my bitch, and you like it when I give it to you rough."

"And yet, you're the one who always takes it up the ass." Kiba said, without a hint of hesitation.

Sasuke gave him a lazy smirk, now. At least this stupid banter of theirs was distracting them. "Ha, you're hilarious. You're the one that's always bent on his knees ready for more."

"Keep telling yourself that, douche."

"Keep lying to yourself, dumbass."

* * *

Kiba snorted. "Like I'd ever lie to myself when it comes to your stupid ass."

"Mutt, you look just a tiny bit more tolerable when you keep your mouth shut. Do I need to buy a muzzle?" Sasuke intoned, and he was making the preliminary movements to get out of the car.

That was good, Kiba thought; if Sasuke was getting out, it meant that he'd calmed down enough to deal with polite company (or not - Gaara and Sasuke were just never a good mix), and he'd manage to not bite someone's head off. Kiba dragged himself out of the car, and sobered the expression on his face. "You okay?"

Sasuke's eyes went dark. "No. ...Are you?"

Kiba stuffed his hands into his pockets again. "Nah. I dunno if I will be for a long time."

Well, yes, it would be a long time - he had a lot to make up for. Kiba's stomach turned.

Sasuke shook his head. "I think I feel that, too. Some badass mind-fuck."

All Kiba could think of was movies and starlight on long pale blonde hair. "Not as much as Inception. _That_ was a mid-fuck."

Sasuke looked reproachful. "Oh, fuck. Yeah. That was _the_ mind-fuck."

"Don't remind me," and Kiba was almost rolling his eyes. There was _nothing_ as mind-fuck as Inception. Not even heartbreak was as mind-fucking as Inception was.

Heartbreak hurt a lot more.

* * *

Sighing, Sasuke shoved his hands inside the pockets of his jeans and followed Kiba back up the walkway.

One beer... Kiba had allowed (not like Kiba was his mother or whatever, but Sasuke had a feeling he wasn't going to get the Mutt off him for a while) one beer. It wouldn't do _anything _to Sasuke, but... It was something. Just... slightly something. Not enough, but _something_.

...Now if only he could get rid of Gaara.

Stupid red haired- -

Red was darker than pink. Red kind of _looked _like pink... Sasuke's shoulders slumped as he entered the house and closed the door behind him. Ignoring _anything _else, he walked right back onto the couch he had been perched on before and threw himself down.

"Sasuke- -"

"Lee."

"Sasuke- -"

"_Lee_."

"What would you like for dinner, my youthful counterpart?"

Sasuke looked at Lee from under his arm and stared. The latter had a broad grin on his face and his eyes twinkled; Lee would never really change. Sasuke managed a ghost of a smirk; this, after all, was the idiot that made high school interesting (not counting all the illegal things) by always competing with him. Given that it was almost always one sided, but still.

"Surprise me," he mumbled.

Lee, cackling like a banshee, quickly zoomed out of the living room and to the kitchen.

* * *

Kiba seriously didn't understand.

Well, okay, he did.

Sasuke had been Kakashi's little protégé in highschool; he'd absorbed some of the older man's less, uh, _esoteric_ habits, such as the being aloof, and that weird smirk-smile that seriously freaked Kiba out sometimes. And Lee...

Well.

Lee was _Lee_.

And, in the most Lee-like fashion, Lee has absorbed the attributes of Sasuke's _least_ favourite teacher - Gai.

Kiba had always found it something far more then amusing; Naruto and Sasuke may have fought and bitched like a pair of cats trapped in a box, but Lee - Lee could get under Sasuke's skin. And then there was Gaara. And, really, Kiba wasn't even going to go there, because, _christ_, that was funny no matter how many times he saw it.

(Seriously. It wasn't every day you saw Uchiha Sasuke have an epileptic seizure [no offense, that was honestly the only thing it could be compare to] brought on by long-term exposure to one Sabaku no Gaara.)

So Kiba kept his hands shoved in his pockets, and listened to Lee rant at Gaara, and at Sasuke, and at the world's general disobedience of the Rules of Lee's House, and _how dare this unyouthful spatula bend like a flower in the sunshine without water?_

Kiba grinned, and chuckled to himself.

It was going to be a good time.

* * *

Sasuke covered his eyes with the crook of his elbow again.

Lee was so... weird... He has _not _changed since the last time he saw him. Like, at all. He was still hyperactive, still loud, still flaily... Still so... Lee. It kind of reminded Sasuke a lot about high school and the times where Lee would have flailed down the halls, screaming about youth and challenges... Usually, that had meant he was looking for Sasuke.

Sasuke would have normally slipped out of sight and either had gone to class, or if he was lucky, skip and go do some... other things.

And _don't _get him started with Gaara.

Just don't.

Because most of the time, the arguments between those two ended with two of the guys holding on to Gaara and two other guys holding on to Sasuke. But mostly? It ended with Gaara and Sasuke having a conversation through their glares. Yeah, it was weird.

Sasuke lifted his head up and looked at Kiba. "I get my beer."

"Shut the fuck up, no, you don't."

At this, Sasuke sat up. "Mutt, don't _play _with me. I'm getting my beer."

"I'm not fucking playing. No fucking beer." Kiba said.

Sasuke stared at him, almost in pure unadulterated rage. He was not going to say anything. Kiba could go eat shit and die. He was going to get his damn dosage of alcohol whether the flea-bag liked it or not. Seriously.

So Sasuke shrugged and laid back down. "Okay."

* * *

Kiba rubbed his stomach. "Fuck, 'M hungry... Gonna go find some pizza. And no alcohol, because I swear to fucking god, I'll call, and I'll tell your mom where you are. Want 'nything?"

Sasuke spared him a glance and drawled, "Lee's going to kill you, you know. 'Nd my mom won't say anything," he smirked arrogantly, "She loves Lee."

Kiba just shrugged. Lee tried to kill him often enough that that threat didn't really scare him all that much, anymore. Actually, there was very little that scared Kiba. Sasuke's alcoholism was one of them; Naruto's... _Naruto-ness_ was another. Lee's ... well, sometimes it was his whole existence, as well. And when Naruto and Lee were together, Kiba ran like hell.

But one of the things that scared Kiba the most was Lee, cooking.

There was just something... _unnatural_... about it. (This may or may not have been in part of the fact that Lee sang opera while he cooked. It was awful. Really. Kiba had heard dying cats that sounded better.)

So.

Pizza.

Yeah.

* * *

Sasuke watched Kiba get up and head for the door.

The idiot was signing his own death sentence.

_This _was going to be an interesting stay in Suna. And then he watched as Gaara came back into the room and took a seat on the couch. Sasuke turned away.

Okay, well, first he had to find that indifference he used on Gaara back in high school. Then everything would be okay.

Sort of.

Never.

Right.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Day 1, post-break-up.

(Or something like that. Post-Suigetsu, maybe?)

Karin rubbed her eyes, and rolled out of bed.

Literally.

She hit the floor, and stared up at the ceiling. She felt _disgusting_.

She was going to vomit.

Karin only barely made it to the bathroom (and the toilet), before she heaved up the contents of her stomach. She sat there, for a moment, grimacing and generally feeling shitty, before she forced herself up on her knees, and clutched at the sink to help pull herself up. She stared at her reflection in the mirror.

Hell. She looked like _hell_.

Karin wrinkled her nose, and grabbed her toothbrush.

A minty smile would make this day a hundred times better.

She spat, and felt better.

* * *

To say that Tenten had no idea what day, what time, or _where _she was would be an understatement.

She sat there, huddled in the dark-dark-dark corner of what she would decide was her room. Was it her room? Or who's? Was she in her old apartment or at Anko's? Ah, Anko - her new mother. She'd been happy, hadn't she? Glad she wouldn't be so alone anymore? Glad she landed with a brand new mother that was both lenient and caring and sort of strict when she had to?

Yeah.

She'd been happy.

Why was she like this now?

Why... Wait, wait... The room! The room was _moving_. Oh, it was _moving_. So fast! So fast!

Tenten was transfixed.

She blinked and everything seemed to go faster - everything seemed bright, despite the darkness. Everything was so pretty.

And she?

She was so _ugly_.

Tenten smiled, bitterly and sniffed.

* * *

Karin sat at the kitchen table.

She was wearing - something. Something. Pants? Flanel pants. A t-shirt. Clothes. Yes, clothes; really, though, she didn't even know if they were they hers. They probably weren't. All her stuff was somewhere else. At home.

Not in this empty house.

Her phone sat on the table in front of her.

She pushed her glasses up her nose. The seat beneath her was wooden and hard. Her cell phone sat on the table. She just stared at it; Karin was so tired. She didn't even have the energy to pick it up, and call someone.

She wondered how Ino was.

She wondered _where_ Tenten was.

She wondered if Sakura was okay.

She wondered why boys were so stupid.

Karin sighed, and lifted her arm. She picked up the inoffensive little piece of technology, and flicked through her contact list. Ino - probably still passed out, because Ino slept through grief. Hinata - probably with that blond one, and Karin wasn't even going to go there. Sakura - no. Just, no. Tenten - still MIA.

Damn it. _Might as well start from the bottom up_, Karin thought, and dialed Tenten's number.

* * *

Tenten wondered if it was humanly possible to be able to sit like this; knees pressed close and tight against her chest (which wasn't so small itself), arms loosely holding on to them and her back pressed against the corner where the two walls met.

She sobbed, but no tears came out.

If her eyes were glassy, it was for a completely different reason. Not tears.

Right...?

She smiled and stared at a spot on the ground.

Then she heard ringing - the song... It was _familiar_. She liked the song, she thought. And... And... Without her consent - without even knowings she was actually doing it, she broke away from the wall and began to crawl. Slow, slow, slow. Why was the room moving faster than her?

Her eyes darted from one spot to the other, eyebrows raised, eyes wide. She stared and wondered where the hell the music was coming from...Where... Where...?

(_Something about boots and boys; they bring me so much joy. I gotta say it, I wear 'em both so pretty as I walk in the city. Watch out! Boots and boys!)_

She grabbed the first thing that lit the room - the first thing that caught her eyes and clicked the button with the green telephone.

"H-hello?"

Everything crackled on the other line before a sultry voice asked, _"Where are you?"_

Tenten looked around at the darkness and let out a sarcastic snicker. "I... I don't know...? I think..." Her voice cracked, "I think this is my room...I think..."

_"...Which room?"_

She wished she knew. She wished this person - was that Karin? - would stop asking her so much questions. She wished the room would stop spinning so much and going so fast and leaving her behind. Why was she always left behind?

"I...I don't know... It's moving - so fast. It's so... So pretty."

It was quiet for a while - how long? A minute? A second? An hour - A lifetime? _"...I'm coming to get you."_

Tenten slid down until she was on the ground and gave a nod. Her voice was small and broken as she said, "Okay."

* * *

So, Tenten was a hot mess.

Not that that was anything new, really, but, uh, the, uh, _swirly-ness_... Yeah, that couldn't be a good thing. Karin pushed her hair out of her face. There had to be an elastic band around, somewhere... Ah, there. It was pale blue, and Karin just stared at it for a minute.

She was really going to hate that colour. Really. Of _course_ it would be Suigetsu's favourite colour; of _course_ it would be.

She sighed, tired, stood up, and piled her hair on the top of her head in a messy knot. There was a red jacket sitting on the floor. She stooped, picked it up, slung it around her shoulders, and headed for the garage, keys in hand.

This was only going to get worse, wasn't it?

* * *

So she sat there, on the ground and stared at the wall.

She couldn't really _see_, exactly; the room _was _moving, after all. Tenten wondered how much it cost her to get a house with a moving room. Did the whole house move too? Tenten didn't know, but she decided she had to investigate.

So she slowly stood up and walked towards the door of the room. And she grabbed the knob and opened the door and exited the room. And she walked, walked and opened a door. It was a bathroom. Tenten closed the door behind her and took off her shirt. Her bra, her sweatpants and the boxers she wore. Undoing her hair, she started the water and let it fall over her.

It burned, the water. It made her skin sting and ache but as she snapped her honey-brown eyes open she stared at the tiles and watched as they danced. She outstretched a hand and tried to touch them, but her arm wasn't long enough.

She settled for slapping it to her forehead.

Burning, burning, but it all felt so soothing. And suddenly everything came washing back and biting one of her hands, she fisted the other and punched the dancing tiles. She let out a muffled scream and her nostrils flared.

She was crying.

Again.

Because there was this face, in her mind, and the anger and hurt and betrayal it was showing made her chest hurt.

Tenten turned the shower off and grabbed the towel nearest to her (hey, this wasn't hers) and wrapped it around her body. Having the mind to actually get her dirty clothes, she walked back to what she was now positive was her room. Once inside, she caught a lump on the bed (she turned on the light and fuck did it hurt her eyes). She stared at the thing and figured the person that called her was here.

Karin, of course.

"So... What's up?" Her voice was nothing but a croak. Ugh.

* * *

"You look like hell," Karin said conversationally.

She didn't look much better, so that wasn't saying much.

Tenten chortled. It sounded like she was choking on her breath. Karin winced. "Haha, don't I always?"

"Not like this."

"Well, what can I say..." Tenten paused, and stared at her through bleary eyes. "You don't look so good yourself..."

"Believe me, I know," Karin sighed. "Let's go get drunk."

(_Underaged drinking? Hello, fake ID. We're going to be **great** friends_ - Karin had thought that a long, long time ago, when she had first got the fake. She'd thought it when things like baking cake didn't hurt, and when boys were just toys-toys-toys. She'd thought it when she hadn't had someone to -and she physically _hurt_ at the world- _care_ about.

Goddamn.)

At the mention of alcohol, Tenten perked up a little. "I'm down. Let me find some clothes."

Karin blinked. "Clothes? Who needs those?"

A smirk marred Tenten's face. "Don't tempt me. My sluttiness is what got me into this."

Ah, sluttish-ness. It had been so long. Karin almost had the audacity to grin. "We can get married. Screw boys."

"...Girl on girl? I like this. I top."

"Alcohol first."

"Ugh. F_iiiiiii_ne."

It was always better to numb everything before one did stupid things, or so Karin had found. And she was planning on doing a lot, _a lot_, of stupid things. Drinking was just going to be the _start_.

Karin was going to cut her heart out of her chest if it killed her.

* * *

Tenten traded the towel for a clean bra (white cups, green straps, yellow and fuchsia all around) and clean panties. She walked towards the closet and slid on her favorite pair of skinnies; the gray ones that always became one with her legs. And then she picked a white wife-beater and slid it on; it was cold out, she knew, but something told her she wasn't going to feel the cold. Regardless, she grabbed a black jacket and put it on, leaving it unzipped.

"Okay," she said, slipping into black vans, "Let's go."

Quickly, she blow-dried her hair and tied it up into a ponytail, slapping away her bangs. She needed a haircut.

"Usual place," Karin asked as she walked towards the door.

Tenten nodded, blinking her eyes furiously. "Mhmm. Who's driving?"

"Cabbing it," Karin said.

Tenten made a mad dash back to her room and hurriedly applied black eyeliner - her only favorite makeup - as well as grabbing her fake ID and her house keys. "Good choice," she said as she met Karin at the front of the house.

"Booze, please. Now."

Smirking sadly, Tenten led her towards the sidewalk, glassy-red eyes searching for a cab.

* * *

It didn't take them long to catch a cab.

Karin sat in the back, her hand clamped around Tenten's, a little too tight for comfort. She just - she needed something to hold on to, and even if that thing was a person (in this case, Tenten, who probably did not appreciate the vice-grip Karin had on her hand all that much), then that was what she was going to hold on.

And, really, Karin kind of wanted to be at home, and curled up under a blanket.

But she wasn't going to let herself cry, anymore.

She watched the streetlights flash past, and Karin stared at her reflection in the cab's windows. She had a haunted look to her face; she didn't know when the last time she'd looked like this (actually, that was a lie, she totally did know when she'd last looked this bad - but she didn't like to think about then, too much), and was in no mood to ponder it.

She felt like she was dying, but she was too young to die.

She was too young to be feeling like this - like she was about to vomit, like she was being pulled apart at the seams, like her skin was trying to crawl off her body. Too young to honestly want to spend forever with someone else.

And she didn't.

Want forever, that is.

Really.

Karin didn't know who she was trying to convince.

* * *

Tenten was feeling agitated.

She was feeling flustered and she wanted out.

No, it wasn't because Karin was holding on to her hand. She felt... She was feeling claustrophobic. She wanted to be somewhere _big _- somewhere _never ending_ where she could run around and be _free_. But, Tenten figured that wasn't going to happen at all.

She sighed and watched as the streets passed her by faster than they normally had to.

Was she still on some sort of drug?

She never really realized when she wasn't, or when she was. And that, in itself, was sad.

Such a bad, bad girl, Tenten was.

It wasn't long before the cab double parked in front of the bar, Tenten handed the scruffy man a couple of crisp bills before she got out of the car, Karin soon following her. She let out a shaky sigh and, wishing she hadn't brought a jacket at all (how fucking hot could it _get_? Why were so many people wearing _clothes_? Weren't they _burning_?), she began to lead the way into the bar, fake ID at hand.

* * *

They slipped inside; it was cold out, so cold, Karin was shivering, and, oh, alcohol, _where_ was the alcohol when she needed it? How did people even get through _life_ without it? How did they _do_ it?

Lipstick lullabies, Karin weaved her way through the bodies packed into the bar, dragging Tenten behind her. She laid her fists down on the bar, and gave the barkeep a flirtatious smile. He was attractive - orange hair and blue eyes. He couldn't have been much older then she was - all the better.

Karin bent over the bar. "I want a shot of vodka. And I want it _now_."

The barkeep just raised an eyebrow, and poured her the shot. "On the house, kid."

Karin smiled at him in a way she hadn't smiled in a very, very long time. It was her "hi-I'd-totally-fuck-you-in-thirty-seconds" smile, and it hadn't been out to play in so, so long - and maybe it shouldn't have been out at all, but Karin really, really didn't care, right there.

She grabbed the little glass, and shot it back.

* * *

Sighing one last sigh, Tenten took the space next to Karin and leaned her elbow against the surface of the bar-table.

Glassy hazel eyes scanned all the bottles on display behind the perfectly pretty guy. Blinking, she turned her gaze to said guy and allowed a sultry smile to appear on her lips. "Gimme the strongest thing you got, stud."

The bartender raised an eyebrow, again, and went to work on her order.

Tenten turned to her friend and frowned. The thing between Karin and Tenten was that they needn't share what exactly was bugging them; it was simply, "you look like shit, let's go get drunk" and that was all. And Tenten was glad for that.

Because the last thing she needed was for Karin to tell her how slutty she had been - and this was _Karin_. Next to her, Tenten looked like an angel.

She pursed her lips and turned to lean her back on the edge of the table, eyes scanning the bar.

"Hm," she sighed, "I don't see anyone pretty, yet."

"Then go find someone? I'm getting drunk."

Grinning, Tenten turned to look at Karin. "I can tell, drunktard. But no thanks. Can't leave _you _to suck on all the alcohol now, can I?"

With that being said, the bartender slid Tenten's drink her way and Tenten had no hesitance to drink it all in one gulp.

* * *

It wasn't long before Karin was flat drunk. She normally didn't drink on an empty stomach, because, hell, that just wasn't _smart_. It meant you got drunker faster, and your hangover was going to be worse. Ten shots in seven minutes. Not bad.

This was the exception, not the norm.

Karin threw back her head and laughed. The music was loud, and everything around her was fuzzy-cozy-_gorgeous_ through the haze of alcohol. She was wearing contacts, she thought, and they stuck to her eyes like bugs, and if she was anyone else, it would have creeped her out, but-

But there was someone on the dancefloor, who was giving her the eye. He was all white - white skin, long white hair, white clothes. He stuck out like a sore thumb amid the dark dancefloor. He kind of reminded her of something -some_one_- painful, but Karin ignored it in favour of making her way towards him.

"Hey," she breathed, voice sultry and quiet in his ear.

He draped his arms around her waist. "Hello, yourself."

"I'm Karin," she murmured, her lips against the shell of his very pale ear.

"Kimimaro. Dance?"

She smirked, face tucked into the crook of his neck. "I'd love to."

* * *

Tenten had a pout on her lips - but, see, Tenten's pouts worked this way: she sucked on the side of her lower lip that was pierced and gave the biggest, puppy eyes anyone could ever see. And given that her eyes were glassy from tears, drugs and alcohol, it worked like a charm.

The bartender sighed, "Shots, right."

"And keep 'em coming, sexy," there was a slur in her voice, but Tenten didn't mind it.

Now that she had gotten what she wanted (really, she appreciated the bartender's concern, but she was _fine_. They were rare times when Tenten actually knew where she was at), her pout was gone and she was back to staring at the bar in pure fascination.

She, vaguely, (and honestly she didn't even know _how_) heard the door to the bar open, but Tenten realized she liked this song. She settled for giggling and flailing her arms in the air, hips swinging from side to side.

"Here's your drink, kid."

Tenten twirled around, dancing never seizing as she shot her head back, the alcohol going down her throat like medicine.

* * *

Neji dragged a catatonic Suigetsu into Akatsuki.

He was disgusted with this whole process; if this was Suigetsu grieving, then he wanted naught to do with it, because this was awful.

Neji narrowed his eyes. There was a vague sense of something like déjà vu, he thought. Something he'd clearly felt before, something he was _sure_ he'd known previously.

But it was dark in the place, and he couldn't see what was going on. And there was something - something - that kept him from going near the bar; something that said "damned if you do, damned if you don't - so take your pick".

Neji stayed by the wall, and watched as Suigetsu stumbled towards the mass of people writhing in the middle of the establishment.

Neji almost wanted to wrinkled his nose.

But that was girly, so he didn't.

* * *

"Keep 'em comin'," Tenten giggled.

She smiled at the bartender and threw her head back, laughing, when he just shook his head and did as she requested.

Here's something: Tenten was _smashed_.

Like, _really_ smashed.

Usually it takes more than this to get her drunk, but she had been on... What _had _she taken before she and Karin met up? She was on some sort of drug... an ecstasy pill, perhaps? But whatever it was only amplified her hype; she was drunk beyond belief and she was _flying_! She _was_!

She giggled and threw her arms in the air, dancing to the beat of the song. Where was... Where was that one girl she had come with?

"Here you go, kid," the glass slid towards her and any thought of anyone else disappeared.

Tenten was a mess of bubbly giggles and alcohol.

* * *

Karin was lost to the pounding beat, and the seething people around her, and the warm bodies pressed in close, everywhere. The pretty boy who reminded her of someone else (where had she seen hair like before...? _Who_ had hair like that...?) was wrapped around her, arms snaked around her waist.

Shivers wracked up and down her spine, and Karin pressed closer to him, slid her fingers down his side. His hands were on her hips.

It felt wrong, but she didn't move away.

She swung around him, dragging her fingertips along white fabric and white skin.

He moved in tandem, and caught the lobe of her ear in his mouth. "Want to go somewhere else?"

"I-"

* * *

He didn't exactly know who the girl was. Actually, add the guy too; coz he didn't know him either.

But that hair.

Her hair - that girl's hair.

It was red.

Crimson, bright, bright, candy-apple red.

And it looked so damn familiar to the point it made his chest constrict. And he lost it.

Because that girl was being _touched _by this... this... DOUCHE BAG.

Suigetsu's eyes narrowed into slits, unadulterated rage sparking them to life. He pushed anyone near him until he was right next to the two people. The first thing Suigetsu did was shove the candy-apple-red-haired-girl-that-made-his-chest-hurt-so-fucking-much and then...

And then he punched the guy.

Right at the jaw.

* * *

Somebody pushed her. _Hard_.

A flash of white-against-black shoved her away from the white-on-white guy she'd been grinding up against. The rush of wind past her body felt like a cup of ice cold water dumped all over her head; sobriety slapped her in the face.

_That_ was Suigetsu.

And he had just punched What'sHisFace in the jaw.

And _that_ spelled trouble.

She threw herself on him. "Suigetsu, you idiot, _what_ are you _doing_?"

"No, not _me_. Karin, you whore, what the _fuck_ are you doin'?" he snarled at her.

Sober, maybe, but not immune to getting offended. "_I_ did not just _punch_ someone in the face! And I am _not_ a _whore_!"

"Really? Not a whore, Karin? Really? Don't fuckin' make me laugh. You looked like a fuckin' leech," he continued to snarl. The shockwaves of the conversation were starting to wash over the bar's dark depths. They were both yelling, and it hurt, it _hurt_.

Karin took a deep breath in through her nose. "Okay, _calm_ down. I am allowed to dance with _whomever_ I so choose!"

He smirked at her, and it was the cruelest expression Karin had ever seen on his face. "Really? Alright, Karin. You continue to fuckin' whore yourself around. Just do it. Because if that's fuckin' dancin', I can't really fuckin' pinpoint what dry fuckin' is."

He was such a fucking hypocrite. Karin felt rage flare briefly, but she smothered it. "Sui, _calm_ the _fuck_ down. _Please_."

"Fuck you, you _bitch_," he snapped, and whipped around. He was leaving.

That _fucker_. He would _not_ be walking out on her. _Not_ this time. Just. _No_. He stalked away, and all Karin could think was _Why am I always running after you, Sui? Why is that?_

Suigetsu didn't stop until they were outside. A violent shiver ran through Karin, and it put bite into her words "Suigetsu, _what_ is your issue?"

He looked about ready to tear his hair out. His eyes were wild, and if Karin had been anyone else, she would have been a little bit freaked out, but this was _Suigetsu_, and she knew him better then almost anyone else. "_You_. _You're_ my issue. _Fuck_, what is your _problem_?"

Karin's teeth chattered. It was so cold. "Uh, in case you don't remember, we aren't _together_ anymore!"

The words "_we never were_" hung in the air, unspoken.

"Just fuck it, Karin. Go back to your new little toy. Go on," he sneered at her.

"_No_!" she half shrieked at him. So cold. "What has gotten _into_ you? I thought-"

But she choked that thought off before it had a chance to unfold, even in her own head.

"Thought _what_?"

"You know what, no. I don't need this right now." She paused, and shivered violently. Heat, she needed heat. "I'll leave you alone, just like you want."

_Please come after me, because I can't keep fighting for something that's not there_.

* * *

Okay... Suigetsu was at a crossroad.

Which fucking road would he choose? Which fucking one?

He didn't allow himself to make that decision, because the next instance he had whirled around and practically _flew _towards her. His arms flew around her and his face buried in her neck. "Let's get out of here, Toots."

"Take me home, cowboy. I'm tired and I'm cold. Please." Her voice was a soft murmur, and all anger they both had felt was either gone or buried deep, deep within them.

"Okay," he mumbled, "Let's go."

* * *

Karin's brain was shutting down on her.

_SuiSuiSuiSuiSui_.

She had a vague feeling like she was leavi-

Oh, _Tenten_. She could be leaving Tenten alone-!

But Suigetsu had his face in her hair, his fingers in the bright red mass, and there was already a cab waiting for them. And Karin - Karin wanted to go _home_. She was _so_ going to regret this in the morning. But she didn't even care.

The only thing she cared about was falling asleep in a familiar place.

And that was where Suigetsu was.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Neji saw Tenten sitting at the bar. She was all alone, very, very, _very_ drunk, with black X's across her hands.

So the bartended had cut her off.

It was the first time he'd been sober all day.

Just _looking_ at her hurt. It was _physical_ pain - just left of the center of his chest, it stung, sharp and angry. "Tenten?" he asked, tentative.

She turned to look at him, with wide, empty eyes, and Neji's heart clenched. The stupid girl. She was going to be dead before she turned twenty. He sighed, and gathered her up, his arms slipping around her. "Do you want to go home?"

She smiled at him, and chirped "With you? Of course!"

No, no, not with him - he would take her home to Anko. Put her to bed, and let her sleep off whatever it was that was making her like this.

She'd be safe.

And she was - she was-

_Too close_.

"Come along," he told her, back stiff. He was going to get her home, if it killed him. He kept his arms around her; she was fragile, Tenten was, despite the fact that she did everything in her power to disprove this theory.

He got her out of the bar, and headed towards his car. (Suigetsu would find his own way home. It would likely be with that violent red-head that had followed him outside, screeching. Neji didn't even really want to know; and he was too focused on the girl in his arms to care.)

Neji unlocked his car, and gently nudged her into the passenger seat. She settled without complaint, and stared up at him again with those glassy, wide eyes. There was no Tenten in them, no spark and flare, and Neji wanted to draw away, because she wasn't the girl who held his heart, she wasn't.

But she had Tenten's body, and Tenten's smile, and for the moment, that was good enough.

(_He would hurt later, when she was safe_.)

Neji covered her with his jacket, and murmured "Go to sleep, Tenten. Things will be better in the morning."

Tenten curled up in his jacket, and stared up at him, her eyes drinking in the marginal light. "M'kay. Will you be there?"

"...Yes," he told her.

A lie was better then nothing. He brushed his lips against her forehead, and closed the car door. He slipped around to the drivers side, and slid the car keys into the ignition. He gunned the engine.

Neji hated lying to her, with her wide, empty eyes and that smile, but he wasn't saving her because he wanted to.

He was saving her because he had no other choice.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**Please review! You people are incredible, and we'd love the feedback! We'll try to get to them, but we are college students, and we live on coffee and late nights and very little writing time. If we don't reply to your review, please DO know that every single one is read and revered and flailed over. :)**


	35. how to make sparkling s'mores of youth

**disclaimer**: nope.  
**dedication**: to really hot tea, candy, and also Hitsugaya (les kind of loves him). and also lip chap.

**sonya dances**: boys suck, boys suck, (why won't you like me why her why not me where is the love) & i am going exercise craaaazy.**  
sara coughs**: what is this, i hate being sick. gah. also, i watch way too much Law&Order, seriously. ANDAND. (EEEEEEEE apocalyptica. grace. clay-mation. just. WHAT?) life is mostly good. :)  
**les flails**: OKAY. OKAY. I love them. I love all these pretty men. I'd list them all off, but the list has gotten so long, now! Pretty people, I looooove pretty people!

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Tenten was dead to the world, Neji thought quietly, as he pulled her out of the car. She slumped on him, her breathing even and soft, and _right on his neck_.

He sighed, and shifted her just the tiniest bit so that she wouldn't be uncomfortable. He looked up at the dark house; it was almost three in the morning, and he wouldn't be surprised if Anko was awake, and drinking the blood of small children.

Er.

Or something like that.

Neji carried Tenten's unconscious form to the front door. He set her down, gently, gently now, fumbled for the door-knob -_do not be locked, do not be locked, **do not** be **locked**_-, and shoved the door open.

Tenten murmured softly in her sleep, and Neji froze. He waited until she'd stopped moving, again, before continuing. He looped his arms around her again, and hefted her through the door. _You stupid girl_, he thought.

It's not easy, saving someone who doesn't want to be saved.

Neji pulled her up the stairs (_do not let Anko hear this. That crazy bitch_), and carefully got her up to the landing. He stood in the long hallway, and stared right, then left. There were three doors. The main bedroom room was closed; that was likely Anko's room.

So Neji didn't go to that one.

The next door led to a bathroom.

The one after that would have to have been Tenten's room.

He carried her towards it, and nearly gave in to the urge to _kick_ something in; the door, preferably, but if not, the wall. As it was, he managed to _not_ give in, and he just pushed the door open with one hand, the other arm still wrapped around Tenten's waist. Her bed was across the room. Neji brought her towards it, and carefully set her down on top of it.

He just stared at her, for a moment. Brushed dark hair out of her face.

It took more will then Neji possessed to stay. He couldn't. He _couldn't_.

He stared at her for another minute.

And then he left.

* * *

When Tenten woke up, the world was a blur.

Her mind was putty.

And, for some reason or another, her chest had shrunken in on itself and it was suffocating her; like something... like something was _wrong_. Something was awfully wrong and she didn't know if this was the same feeling she had been feeling since _that _happened or if this was all new.

She sat up and something draped down from her chest and pooled up on her lap.

Tenten looked down at it with hazy, bleary eyes.

It was a jacket.

And it wasn't hers because apparently she was still wearing her clothes. With trembling hands, she picked it up and examined it - it was a guy's. Shit, did she... No. No... She brought it close and its scent was powerful in her nose; a scent she _knew_. And, to be honest, a scent that had been on her more than once.

This was _Neji's_.

Tenten's heartbeat escalated, honey-brown eyes darting around the room; but this was her room. She was alone.

She curled up into a small little ball, his jacket in her tight grip, and new (fucking annoying, hateful) tears brimming her lashes.

What else was new?

* * *

The sound of Neji's alarm clock was the most unwelcome sound in the world.

He had Geology in two hours.

He had to get up.

He _had_ to.

Neji forced himself out of bed. That had been the order of his days; force self to wake-up, force self to eat breakfast, force self to go to class (always skip Psychology, always), force self to make it through the day, go home, avoid family -especially Hinata- like the plague, lock self in room, close light. Or go drinking.

That's how it had gone.

Neji didn't like it, but he couldn't see a possible alternative. What else was there, really? Neji wanted to drink himself to death, because it would mean he wouldn't have to see Tenten again.

He closed his eyes, and begged for peace.

* * *

She didn't last long, though.

Tenten never lasted long with _anything_. Sniffing, on her attempt to be able to breathe through her stuffy nose, she stood up. She gently, and unknowingly, set the jacket down and stripped off her jeans and jacket, choosing instead to sport a pair of sweatpants.

Fixing her hair and wiping at her eyes and doing all she could to make her face less blotchy and red, she tried to gain some strength and walked out of the room. Tenten headed to the kitchen. She almost skidded and turned in her heels when she found Anko leaning against the island, eating... eating a deep fried, chocolate covered Twinkie.

But, nonetheless did she walk right into the kitchen, head ducked low.

Some cereal.

She would force some cereal down her throat.

And then! She was going to hide under her covers. Or something like that.

* * *

Hinata tip-toed past Neji's room.

She heard a painful _thud,_ as something heavy hit the floor; had Neji just rolled out of bed and hit the floor? Hinata stopped, and pressed her ear to the door. There was no sound of movement, and Hinata barely breathed.

She was worried about him.

Hinata sighed, and turned around, and pressed her back to the door. She took a deep breath in, and slid down. She took her cell out, and stared down at the screen.

It was black.

But it wouldn't be for long.

* * *

**From: Snow White  
To: Hokage  
Naruto-kun, there's... something really wrong with Neji. Really, really wrong. Help me fix it. Please**_._

**From: Hokage  
To: Snow White  
...How can I help...?**

**From: Snow White  
To: Hokage  
I - I don't know. I just - come and get me, please. I need to get out of the house.**

**From: Hokage  
To: Snow White.  
Okay, I'll be there in ten**.

* * *

Naruto did his ritual - or what has become his ritual since Sasuke went MIA on him (Kiba did too, but he and Kiba didn't have a ritual like he did with Sasuke). This ritual consisted of sleeping early (ew), waking up early (double ew), showering and then having breakfast with his mother before they both left on their way to work and/or school.

Washing his dish ("NARUTO, WASH THAT DISH OR _ELSE_."), Naruto scurried upstairs and grabbed his backpack. He headed downstairs once again and hugged his mother from behind. "Bye, Ma'! Have a nice day and drive safely!"

Kushina laughed and smiled. "Be careful, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto was out the door a second later.

Dumping his backpack on the backseats of his Mustang, he started the engine and allowed it to heat up. He leaned back on his seat, pulling the white hood of his zip-up hoodie up and over blond spikes. God, what a mess these idiots were. And, okay, he knew he didn't _have _to help them.

But that was just it - they were his _friends. _Helping each other was how it worked, you know? These idiots were making asses of themselves and Naruto had to save them from it. Or at least _try. _He'd die trying! Or, well, at least until they found some healthy way to cope. Like finding another chick. Or fixing things with their current chick.

Oh, you know what he meant.

Shaking his head, he gunned the engine and drove off towards Hinata's house.

* * *

Hinata snuck away from Neji's door (he still hadn't moved; she doubted he would move at all, that day), and rushed to her room. Naruto's hoodie was still in her room, and it would more then suffice. She tugged it over her head (it still reached almost lower then her skirt; Hinata tugged on the edge of the skirt worriedly), and headed towards the front door.

She grabbed her purse (habit made her always leave it at the door), slipped a pair of flats on her feet, and snuck out the front door.

Seriously, Hinata didn't want to deal with her family, right then.

(Her father was already starting on his rants about the family reunion; and honestly, Hinata _so_ did not want to go there. Because as soon as she did, her father would demand to meet Naruto [because he was the boyfriend, and Hiashi would want to grill the poor boy], and Hinata didn't want to put Naruto through that.

_No one_ deserved what Hinata's father could dish out. It was actually kind of sad.)

She walked down the driveway, and stood at the curb.

Ten minutes wasn't a long wait, but she shivered, anyway.

* * *

Naruto's car came to a slow stop in front of a familiar figure. A figure that drove Naruto kind of wild, in a good sense. Almost automatically, he was grinning - though the current atmosphere and circumstances didn't really lead to smiles and bubbly feelings.

He couldn't help it, though. It was Hinata and she was _so pretty_.

He waited, as she opened the door to the passenger's seat and slid her small little body inside, closing the door behind her. He leaned towards her and pecked her cheek. "Hi, Hinata-chan, how are you?"

Hinata flushed, and caught his fingers in hers. "I'm okay. I just - need to get out of the house."

Naruto swallowed thickly and began to drive. "Is Neji okay? Actually, don't answer that; I think I know how he is, from the last time I saw him... To school, right?"

"School, yeah, I guess."

Konoha High - he went there, before; he played for the football team, he scored touchdowns, he broke hearts, he walked around drunk-high-on-a-pill... Konoha High. The thought of the place made him want to grin; such memories with such idiots for friends. Goofy grins, uncontrollable-drugged laughter, pointless arguments, even more pointless fights...

The childish part of Naruto wanted to say he wanted to go back then... Where Sasuke and Kiba weren't missing. Where Suigetsu wasn't drinking himself dead (anymore), and where Neji wasn't... a _zombie_. He pursed his lips, making a turn on Eighth; but then again... Things happened for a reason, right?

Right.

That's what Kaori-kaa used to say.

"How... are your friends?" he asked softly.

* * *

Hinata almost laughed. How were her friends? Her friends were fucked up.

But she couldn't tell him that, because his friends were probably no better.

"They're... not so good," she managed to get out. She'd hadn't seen them, but she knew that Ino wasn't flailing, Sakura wasn't smiling, Tenten wasn't scheming, and Karin wasn't dancing. And those things - they were intrinsic to her friends, Hinata thought. Ino wouldn't be _Ino_ if she didn't flail and scream and Sakura wouldn't be Sakura if she wasn't so painfully intelligent that it _hurt _and Tenten was just not Tenten at all (Hinata didn't even want to _go_ there), and Karin just...

Well, mostly her friends all seemed dead.

And it was awful.

Hinata sighed, and leaned back against the leather seat. She bit her lip, and glanced at the boy in the driver's seat. "Naruto-kun, I have... a favour to ask."

* * *

Naruto raised an eyebrow, chancing a glance at her before quickly turning to look up ahead, at the road.

"Oh," he asked. "And what's that?"

"Well - I don't know if you know... about the Hyuuga banquet?"

Ah - that... Neji always goes kind of stiffer than usual when that time came around. Usually, Naruto went for forty-five minutes, to an hour. Forget the free alcohol, he couldn't stand being around so many uptight people for so long! Something told him if he tried to stay longer, he'd of met Hinata before hand.

"Yeah, what about it?"

Hinata fidgeted, a bit. "Would you, uhm, would you hate me if I asked you to come?"

Thank god for the stoplight. Because Naruto's head instantly snapped towards her. His electric-blue eyes were, for once, unreadable, a frown marring his lips and he just stared at her. Hate her? Seriously? How could she _ask _that?

"Hinata-chan... I could never _hate _you! Stop _saying _that." He turned to check if the light had changed before looking back at her. "But, I'll go. For you."

There was a shy smile on Hinata's lips as she turned to look at him, fully. "Thank you."

Naruto grinned, leading the car to her school.

* * *

He dropped her off right next to the front doors. Hinata smiled at him, leaned over the stick, and kissed him full on the mouth. "See you later, okay?"

Naruto did the default licking of lips and smiled lopsided. "Would you like me to pick you up?"

Hinata bit down on her lip, and smiled shyly through it, at him. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"M'kayy. I'll be parked here, yeah?"

She nodded, and tucked indigo hair behind her ear. "Yeah, sure. Bye!"

"Bye!"

Hinata started to move away, before an impulse caught her by the throat. She shot back towards him, kissed him again, and then dashed out of the car. "Love you. See ya!" she called over her shoulder, and slipped into the school's front door.

* * *

Naruto was utterly whipped.

There was no lie about it.

And, you know what, he didn't want to lie, either.

Sighing, grin still on his face, he decided he was going to find these other idiots and sober them up. Emo-ing it out was Sasuke's thing and he was doing a mighty fine job on his own.

Seriously.

* * *

**From: Hina-chan  
To: Karin  
Tell me you're awake, I'm having a freak-out at school. Are you coming, or am I alone *again*?**

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Karin awoke to the buzzing of her phone against her skin.

Actually, she awoke to several things; the buzzing of her phone was just one of them. There was muted sunlight, and a heavy, warm arm thrown over her waist. There was a scent of home, and familiar sheets. There was that indefinable scent of sex and skin, sweat and lust.

Oh.

Uh.

_Shit_?

Karin didn't move. She could feel breathing; she didn't have to be told who it was. The previous night trickled into her brain (she'd left Tenten _alone_, oh, she was so, so, _so_ dead), and Karin was _not happy_ with this situation.

She _had_ to find a way out.

And she needed to find it fast.

Suigetsu shifted a modicum; it was just enough to remove all space between their bodies. Karin shivered, and sighed softly. His arm was still thrown over her waist, and she could feel his heart, beating strong, just behind his ribcage.

She _needed to get out of there_.

His tickling spots; his ribs, and his neck was sensitive in five different spots (Karin knew that better than anyone). Karin took a breath of oxygen into her lungs, and gently blew a stream of cool air across his throat, and brushed her fingers along his side as lightly as she could. He squirmed away from her, even in his sleep, and Karin felt the weight of his arm move off of her.

She slipped out of bed as carefully as she could. She barely moved; it was an inch by inch journey, careful and considering. _Please don't wake up_.

When she did finally manage to get off of the bed, Karin grabbed the first shirt she could find (a white jersey-thing that had the number 10 stitched on it, in purple), and pulled it over her head. She grabbed a pair of pajama pants, and slipped them up and over her hips. Her purse was right next to her heels.

She slipped them on her feet, and fled.

* * *

Suigetsu's pale-purple eyes stared as her figure navigated out the room.

There was no feeling inside him. No anger, no disappointment - nothing. He was... Suigetsu figured this is what it meant like to feel numb. Fuck - how long has it been since he's felt like _that_? Damn her for coming into his life and screwing it all up after such a long effort to get it back in order.

Shifting around, Suigetsu closed his eyes, and pretended he never met Karin.

The numbness prevented the stupid pang to be felt.

* * *

Karin stood outside her old house.

"Sorry, cowboy," she whispered. "But I need to get to school."

Her car - was right there. Had she driven home? No, she had been _waaaay_ too out of it to drive. Suigetsu must have... must have driven them both home. Or, well, _his_ home; her _ex_-home. She'd have to get all her things, at some point (because, dear god, after last night, there was no way that they could ever mend this relationship - it just - just wouldn't work), but, for the moment, she had clothes in the trunk.

...She was going to keep the pajama pants, though. They were comfortable.

Karin slipped into her car.

Suigetsu. Suigetsu. Suigetsu.

She took an almost masochistic pleasure in thinking his name; there was something _satisfying_ about it, like twisting a knife that was already stuck in her gut, like rubbing salt in an open wound. It was something that she couldn't quite describe; it was something like trying to assuage the guilt that seemed to permeate her entire being.

Suigetsu.

"Sorry, cowboy," she murmured, again.

* * *

**From: Tennie Macdaddy  
To: Glittering Innocence  
...I think I'm going to barf. I'm on my way to school, ew.**

**From: Glittering Innocence  
To: Tennie Macdaddy  
...I'll come meet you at the front door. Are you okay?**

**From: Tennie Macdaddy  
To: Glittering Innocence  
No. I don't think so. I think... I don't know anymore. I'm a block or two away.**

**From: Glittering Innocence  
To: Tennie Macdaddy  
Alright. We have Kakashi first, and he's not even in class yet. I still don't understand how he manages it... Kurenai is watching our class, and the look on her face is pretty priceless.**

**From: Tennie Macdaddy  
To: Glittering Innocence  
He probably went to his house to change. Anko hasn't done laundry yet. Okay, I just parked, be there in a bit.**

* * *

Swallowing thickly, Tenten wrapped her arms around herself and walked out of the student parking lot.

Winter was near, if not here already. Tenten loved the cold - it was better than the heat. Heat did nothing; heat was nothing important unless it had innuendo in it. But the cold... It numbed and it hurt. It was amazing, the way it made parts of your limbs chill and freeze and numb until it _hurt_.

Tenten sniffed and narrowed her eyes; leaving her hair down was a bad idea... But she had no energy to fix it up into anything. How horrible - forcing herself to eat (something blasphemous) and being unable to do her hair. She was a mess.

And, though that was a given, this kind of mess was different than the usual mess Tenten was. It was _horrible_.

Clearing her throat, she stepped onto the first step of her school and looked up at her best friend and managed a sad, lopsided smile.

She must look horrible... But, well... What can you do? "Hi."

* * *

Normally, Karin was the blunt one.

Hinata was the smart, tactful one.

But there was really no... _tactful_... way to say this. And Hinata would know; Hinata kind of liked words. "You look awful. When was the last time you ate? Actually, forget _ate_, when was the last time you _slept_?"

Tenten shrugged and wrapped her arms tighter around her body. "I don't remember..."

"...Okay, honey. We're going to get some food into you, and then we're going to Karin's, and you're going to get some sleep, okay?"

* * *

**From: Karin  
To: Hina-chan  
i'll be there in ten. i hate men. i need alcohol. also, i'm going lesbian. just saying.**

**From: Hina-chan  
To: Karin  
I can't even believe that we're friends. I'm taking you and Tenten home at lunch.**

**From: Karin  
To: Hina-chan  
honey, i'm wearing my ex-boytoy's pajama pants. don't even start with me**.

* * *

"I'm not hungry, Hinata. But thanks."

Her voice - _ew_, it was a tangle of rasp-ness. She knew her voice usually sounded as if she had a dire need to clear her throat; sultry and raspy. But... fuck. This was - -

"Did I say you had a _choice_?" Hinata asked, softly and worried.

Normally, Tenten would have gulped. But now she just stared, blankly and tried to... To... She didn't even know. Sighing, she allowed Hinata to drag her to class.

She was a mess, wearing sweatpants and Neji's jacket. She didn't want to say his name, much. But what else could she call him? Ex? No, they were hardly that, right? What _were _they? Fuck buddies? Nah, it wouldn't hurt so fucking much, if they had been that.

And she supposed that was it - she hadn't known what they were. And now, she figured, she never would.

Or something.

Dear god, she didn't even bring a _backpack_. She was here... She didn't even know why she was here. To prove she was alive, she supposed.

Whatever.

To her out most horror, the thought of food made her want to puke all the more. Ew.

* * *

Hinata shot Tenten a glance. Oh, crap, Tenten looked like she was about to puke.

That was never good.

"Karin's gonna be here in a bit. I think she's got her car... Do you want to go home after fourth?"

"Sghjf," said Tenten.

Hinata had no idea what that translated to, but it probably involved something about Anko and keys (that's what Tenten's random sounds usually translated to). Normally, Hinata wasn't one who was fond of cutting class, but sometimes-

Sometimes there were things that were more important then high school.

This was one of them.

"C'mon," Hinata said gently. "Let's get to class. It won't be too long, right? Tea...?"

* * *

Tenten lifted her head up and stared at her friend with bleary, blank eyes.

"Hinata... I'm _fine_. Please, calm down."

Hinata looked as if she were going to explode at any moment. "You do not look _fine_!"

Tenten's eyes glued themselves on her friend. Hinata... Oh, Hinata. Panicking and everything; she was _fine_. Well, okay, she really wasn't but she didn't want Hinata to freak out on her and, let alone, baby her. Because Tenten may _not _be fine, but she soon will be.

Hopefully.

"Looks can be deceiving," she finally muttered. "If I wasn't fine, I wouldn't be here right now, would I?"

Honestly - enough about her! Where the hell was Sakura? And Ino? How was she (Hinata) and the blond kid that seemed to be the embodiment of the sun?

"Actually, you wouldn't. If you were fine, you'd be out drinking. Or dancing. Or something. This is not _you_."

...Well... That kind of happened last night and it only screwed her up more. Seriously - she ended up waking up with Neji's jacket around her. How good could that be? It was like shoving salt to an open wound. A small little voice in her head said that the salt-shoving was on _both _sides.

"So, where's Sakura? Ino? How are you and that hyper kid?"

* * *

Hinata eyeballed Tenten menacingly. "Naruto-kun and I are _fine_, thank you very much. Ino's holed up in her house. Sakura's with her, and they're likely both still passed out. Stop trying to change the subject. And _why_ are you wearing my cousin's jacket?"

"...Jacket? What...?"

Hinata raised an eyebrow. "Tenten, you are _wearing_ Neji's jacket."

"...I am...? I mean... Uh... I don't know..."

Hinata fixed her with a steely stare. "Oh, no. No. No, you did _not_."

"...Did not _what_?"

"No wonder - Tenten, did you see my cousin last night?" Hinata asked. Because she knew – she _knew_ that look. It was guilt, and Tenten didn't do guilt. Not ever.

Tenten's voice turned tiny as she said, "I don't remember."

Hinata raised her chin, defiant. "You're lying."

"Am _not_!" Tenten cried.

Hinata actually almost laughed. "Tenten, you're doing that thing!"

"_What_ thing?" Tenten was beginning to realize that coming to school was a bad idea. It was always a bad idea, actually.

"You clench your fists when you lie," Hinata told the brunette-haired girl matter-of-factly.

"...I don't know what you're talking about." She looked away from her friend and towards the windows. She'd told Hinata, once, that she was the kind of drunk that did not forget anything. That was coming back to bite her in the ass. Oh, how stupid could she have been? "If you want, you can take it back to him..."

Hinata shook her head, her hair in her eyes. "I doubt he even knows it's gone, Tennie. I don't think he even got out of bed, today."

"...Oh… I, uhm..."

Hinata heaved a sigh. "Let's just get to class, okay?"

* * *

Tenten didn't speak after that.

Silence wrapped itself around them as they walked towards their classroom. Hinata might not have been intending to, but she made her feel guilty. Just... listening to her talk about _him _made her feel... she didn't know how to describe that feeling. It was guilt mixed with something else; something bitter and awful. Like medicine, bitter, old, guilty.

It made her feel like scum. Like _shit_.

All she wanted to do right now was curl into a ball and hide away.

Coming to school was the most awful idea ever. But it was better than staying home, where she felt even more claustrophobic than was normal. But... Still... She. How could she explain this? She felt _awful_ being in Hinata's presence, when she did something... when what happened between her and Neji came to mind. Because Neji was _related _to Hinata.

And Hinata _knew _how...knows what's wrong with him.

And Tenten was on the bad end here.

Why was she friends with her? She should stop. Tenten wouldn't blame her.

Biting the inside of her cheek as hard as she could until she bled, Tenten slid into her seat and avoided Hinata's eyes.

* * *

Hinata shot a glance at Tenten. The brunette was sitting quietly, not fidgeting, staring ahead. Her eyes were flat and blank, and she looked like she'd cried herself out. But there was a look on her face; it was a strange one, one that Hinata knew only because she'd seen Tenten's worst times.

It was a look that said that Tenten was thinking of something particularly nasty; whether that be something she herself had done, or about someone, she _was_ thinking about something she really didn't want to be thinking about.

Hinata knew that.

She winced to herself. Maybe she shouldn't have said anything about Neji.

It was just hard; they were both hurting, and while Hinata wasn't angry at Tenten, she thought that both her cousin and her friend were just being... _ridiculous_. They were just-

Ugh, Hinata didn't even have a word for it.

She heaved a sigh, and dropped her head to her desk.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _Hi_.

...How are you?

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Hey._

I'm... I've been better.

You?

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _So... what's up_?

I've been better, too.

How... how's school?

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Nothing. You?_

I'm taking a break from school. A long one...

How is school for you?

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _The same, I guess_.

Huh. I'm just... I need a breather, I think. I feel like I'm burning out, you know?  
It's like I hit _Self-Destruct_ button. It's a little bit awful.

Why are you taking a break?

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _I see..._

Yeah, I know that feeling.

Because. I need a break. And I needed to get away.

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _And now for something completely different_.

I know this is going to sound completely crazy, but I hope you're okay.

Also, I like quoting movies.

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _...What?_

I appreciate that, I suppose. I... hope you're... okay as well...

Yeah? What else do you like?

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _It's from Monty Python. "What's your favourite colour?" "Blue - no, gree-AGH." It's funny. :)_

...Thanks. :)

Yeah. And I like... pearls. And pretty perfume. And snow and sunshine - you know how in winter, there are those cold, cold, _cold_ days where the sun is so bright it hurts? When the sky is completely blue, but it's so cold your bones hurt? I like those. And I like making friendship bracelets. I like listening to music, and piles and piles of books. I like reading until my eyes blur in front of a fire. I like scarves and hats and the colour pink. I like weird comedy and old movies.

What about you? What do you like?  
(It's kind of ridiculous, you know? I mean, we've known each other for almost four months, now, and we barely know anything about each other. We just fight a lot. It's... dumb.)

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Yeah, I don't understand you._

Hn.

Huh... You're a weird, weird girl, Superstar...

I like the rain. Thunderstorms - those days where it rains so hard, your vision gets blurry from trying to see past it; those days where the thunder is the loudest thing you can hear, so loud, you can't even hear the beat of your heart. I like video games. I like my privacy. And I like playing my guitar, when I'm alone. I like reading. I like music. And I like driving so fast, it's obviously illegal - so fast, the car lifts up and off the road... I like my shoes. A lot... I have a lot of shoes. And I like horror movies. Those... really, really horrific movies that are too scary to be unleashed in theaters.

(Well, you were annoying and you pried too much. Not to mention you assumed too much. You're alright... Now.)

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _That's okay. I don't understand men as a general rule, so I think we're even_.

Oh, no, don't start that "Hn" garbage, with me. My... ex-... boyfriend did that, and it annoyed the hell out of me.  
And you're just as weird as I am, so don't even!

Also, driving that fast is kind of dangerous, don't you think?

(Shut up, you weren't any better. I was always awesome, you just didn't see it. Duh.)

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _It's not that hard. Feed them, and that's enough._

...Did he, really? How peculiar.  
How am _I _weird? You're weirder.

That's the thrill about it.

(Don't get carried away. I said 'alright'. This awesome nonsense is you being cocky. Huh.)

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _But they **whine**, even when you **don't** feed them! Explain this to me, please!_

Well, yeah. It was... unique, I guess. I don't know.  
You're weird because you are, duh. And I'm not weird_er_. I'm weird by default, but not as weird as you, Mr. Grumpy-Pants.

But you could get killed.  
...And then I'd be sad.

(Thunder, given the way you treat me normally, that's like awarding me the Nobel Peace Prize.)

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _That means they want the other thing that they can't live without._

Huh... You really liked him, didn't you?  
I'm not weird. And don't call me that.

Nah. I have years of expertise. Car-stealing, sort-of illegal after-midnight racing included.  
...Sad? Why would you be _sad_?

(...I don't treat you _that _awfully.)

-Thunder

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _...And **that** is why men are pigs. I am so not impressed_.

I - yeah. It wasn't just "like", you know? He was... different. He just kind of - _got_ me, you know? And the sex was mind-blowing, thank you very much.  
You are too weird. Mr. Grumpy-Pants? That's like your nickname, in my head, I hope you know. Mr. Grumpy-Umpy-Umpy-Pants.

Why do I have a feeling that you're not lying?  
Because I would be.

(You do, too.)

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Hey, it's just the way it goes. _

He got you. Explain this. And thanks, because I _really _wanted to know about your sex life.  
I am not. And stop _calling _me that. This is why I'm mean to you.

Because I'm not. I've done _a lot _of illegal things in my life. I blame idiotic friends.  
Why?

(Do not. I cared when you were hurt, didn't I?)

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _It's still disgusting_.

He understood. I didn't need to - I don't know. I didn't need to slow down for him, to wait for his brain to catch up. He understood what I meant when I said things. And admit it, my sex life (or lack there-of) is interesting.  
You are, too! MR. GRUMPY-PAAAANTS.  
And you're mean to me because it gets you off. So there.

I don't doubt it.  
Because.

(That was out of a misguided sense of self-preservation.)

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _I suppose._

I see. I think this is the part where I give my amazing advice; sadly, I don't have one. And your sex life is something I _really _couldn't care less about.  
Superstar, quit it.  
...You're so _weird_. I'm mean to you because you don't _listen_.

Don't.  
Because _why_?

(Misguided- - _what_? I cared and suddenly it's really me _not _caring? What?)

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _You do, do you?_

Since _when_ has your advice _ever_ been amazing? You are clam-lipped. And please, what _else_ are you going to talk about with your peons?  
...Fiiiiine. That's _boring_, tho'.  
YOU'RE THE WEIRD ONE. And I do too listen. Just, sometimes, I get... _sidetracked_.

I shan't.  
Because _because_.

(YES.)

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Yup._

I've never _given _you advice, so you wouldn't _know_. You are _annoying_.  
No it's not. It might make me like you a bit.  
_You're _weird, and therefore my _normality _makes me look weird to you. And you _don't _listen. Sidetracked... right.

Good.  
Because _why_. God.

(Huh. If you say so.)

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _...Well. Navy blue. So there_.

You're annoying, too. XP  
You loooooooooove meeeeeeeeeee.  
You? _Normal_? THAT'S LIKE SAYING KAKASHI IS NORMAL. IT IS JUST NOT DONE.

Great.  
Because _I said so_. We're... sort of friends, right? Friends don't want friends to die; it's like "friends don't let friends dial drunk". I'd be sad if you died because we're _sort-of_ friends.

(I do say so.)

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Seven. So there._

No, _you're _annoying.  
Ew. No.  
I _am _normal. Kakashi's only good for reading porn. 'Nuff said.

Awesome.  
I see. And was that so hard to answer?

(Okay. What you say goes, I suppose.)

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: "_It's about dance music, right? So why don't we all be dancing... **on a street**?" Believe me, I can out-random you **any day**_.

You're annoying-_er_.  
You're such a _girl_! What kind of boy says "ew"? That's like calling "COOTIES" on someone!  
...Yeah, you just killed your own argument.

Wondrous.  
PBBBHTTTT. (In case you didn't know, that was me doing my very best impression of Calvin spitting at Hobbes.)

(Clearly. I'm the one who wears the pants in this relationship.)

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _"Of course they're going to know what intercourse is by the time they hit fourth grade; they have the discovery channel don't they?" Try me_.

No. There's just no such thing as annoying-er. You're annoying. And that's it.  
Okay, first of all I'm not a boy. I'm a _man_. Second of all, _I _say ew. Because you just _told _me to not say "hn". "Hn" is what I would have normally said. And cooties is for elementary kids.  
Yeah, you're just really, really annoying.

Amazing.  
Huh. (That's me staring at your words like you're the most ludicrous thing in the world.)

(I don't think so.)

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _"You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel." Bitch, I **dare** you_.

Well, I just made "annoying-_er_" up. And you are it.  
Uh-huh, suuuure you're a man. I think you're In Denial.  
Awww, look at you, I want to pinch your cheeks.

Incredible.  
That's nice. (Clearly, you never had a childhood. Everyone should know Calving and Hobbes.)

(I think you're lying to yourself.)

Wow, I am way too tired for this.

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _"Excuse me Miss, but can I get you out your panties?" What's with the insults._

Yeah. No.  
_Don't _start with that. I mean it.  
Again: _no_.

Fantastic.  
It is. (What do you know about my childhood? Exactly.)

(I think you're full of yourself.)

Then go to sleep.

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _"And if I had something to say to you I'd whisper it softly." I don't know, I think I'm going crazy_.

Yes, yes. Always "yes".  
I'm not going to question your orientation, I thought we were past this!  
Again: _yes_.

Magnificent.  
(PBBBTPHH. I'm right you're wrong.)

(I think you're full of shit.)

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _"Hope I start talking crazy before you understand me." I don't doubt it. It's okay, tho'._

Okay, sure.  
I thought we were past it, as well.  
Again: okay, sure.

Marvelous.  
(You seem to think that, a lot.)

(That's nice.)

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _"Lose your mind, lose it now, lose your clothes in the crowd." You're helpful_.

I'M QUOTING THE PRINCESS DIARIES. WORK WITH ME, HERE, GOD.  
Which is why I wasn't; I never said you were gay, did I? _You_ jumped to that assumption, _not_ me.  
At least you're agreeing with me.

Fabulous.  
(That's because I'm _always right_.)

(It is. :])

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _"I do this from time to time, where I can never wake from a bad dream." I'm glad._

What in the world would make you think I've watched that movie?  
I hate conversations that stir that way. I'm almost traumatized.  
For sure.

Wonderful.  
(Okay, if you say so.)

(Hn.)

-Thunder.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _"La la la la la laa da da da da da daa daaaaa I like your eyes wide." You should be, Mr. Useless_.

...Do you really want me to answer that?  
But it's so funny!  
Well, it is.

Superb. And I used "wondrous", you lose.  
(I do say so. Which I already told you, in case you don't remember.)

(You're an idiot. :])

-Superstar

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _...You should get some sleep before you verbally kill me._

...No. Just. No. Fuck.  
It's not.  
Sure.

Congrats.  
(You really _are _annoying.)

(Read the subject line.)

Now... I have to go because I'm _literally _being dragged to a... sleepover. In the living room.

Bye.

-Thunder.

* * *

Sakura stared at the email.

A sleepover?

_In the living room_?

**_What_**?

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Kiba was about to die. There was a tent set up in the living room. Lee, in his standard green-and-orange track-suit, was standing in front of it. His fist raised high in the air, and his eyes were shining with happy, happy tears.

There was an aura of _death_ in the air - Gaara and Sasuke both looked murderous.

It was really, _really_ funny.

"COME, MY FRIENDS! WE SHALL HAVE A SLEEPOVER, AND THE FLAMES OF YOUTH SHALL KEEP US AWAKE ALL NIGHT!"

The murderous glares deepened.

Kiba struggled not to burst out laughing.

(Hence why he was about to die; if he burst out laughing, the Sasuke/Gaara Anomaly [that was what Kiba had taken to calling them] would rip his head off. And despite the whole... _girl_ debacle, Kiba really didn't want to die.)

It was way too funny.

Seriously.

* * *

Sasuke glared as Lee continued to proclaim and proclaim and _proclaim_. His pose-striking was _not helping_.

And he just really, really, really wanted to shoot him - if not himself - to get some kind of peace in the world. There was a tent. In the living room. A _tent_. In the _living room_. Sasuke wouldn't be surprised if there were four sleeping bags there as well. Actually, legit, there would be _four teddy bears _there, too. Because Lee was a _true _child at heart.

Sasuke twitched and glared and twitched and _glared_.

"This," he hissed through his teeth, "is sacrilege. _Sacrilege_."

To his male pride. To his _Uchiha _pride (because, seriously, everyone knew that though Sasuke looked like his mother, he had his father's personality. Alcoholic, mischievous and _prideful_). This was _sacrilege_.

"AH, GAARA-KUN, SASUKE-KUN. WHERE ARE YOUR PAJAMAS? QUICK! QUICK! CHANGE! WE MUST ALL CHANGE!"

Sasuke groaned and really wished he could disappear.

* * *

Gaara was _not impressed_.

Not surprised, either, but mostly just _not impressed_.

Lee did things like this all the time; not that Gaara _liked_ it, necessarily (actually, he kind of hated it. It made his left eyeball twitch something fierce), but he was used to it. It came with living with Lee - one got used to his more eccentric habits.

And while this ..._sleepover_... would undoubtedly be the most bothersome thing that Gaara had experienced in a long time, the look of utter _horror_ on Uchiha's face would be more then worth it.

Gaara folded his arms, and sat back on the couch.

It was going to be a loooooong night.

* * *

This was his house, this was his house, he was opening his doors to him therefore Sasuke had to comply with this idiot's wishes.

Sometimes Sasuke _hated _the way his mother had drilled this etiquette in his brain. And he _hated _how he followed them because it was such a _habit _now, that it came naturally. So, swallowing his anger and his pride, Sasuke went and sat down on the armchair.

Lee was flailing about in the kitchen, proclaiming things about popcorn and soda-pop and chips and salsa and how those pizza-bites he bought were going to come in handy now. Sasuke had his jaw clenched and _refused _to meet eyes with the other idiots inhabiting the living room.

Because knowing them, they were enjoying the torture this was being on him.

God, he hated these people.

_Why _was he friends with any of them? The only good thing about this was that Naruto was not here. Naruto would be flailing and proclaiming along with Lee.

Sasuke _really _needed a beer.

Or alcohol in general.

Really.

* * *

Lee stared up into the heavens.

The air around him glittered. Waves crashed. Dolphins splashed. Unicorns reared. Rainbows... _rainbowed_.

He was going to roast marshmallows. Right in the middle of the living room. Even if it was over candles, _he was going to do it_. He was going to make a s'more, and it was going to be beautiful, and it would be a _SPARKLE OF BEAUTIFUL LOVE AND JOY_.

And **_God save_** the person - it didn't matter who; it could be _anyone_ - that tried to stop him.

"Now, my comrades? WHO WANTS A S'MORE?"

...

Gaara, behind him, buried his face in his hands, and almost sobbed.

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**please review! also, Sara got nominated for ffnet's "Author Of The Month" thing on facebook. please go "like" that status? (AND YES, THIS IS ME SHAMELESSLY ADVERTISING. I AM AWESOME.) er. yeah. please review, and love unto you and your future children! :D**


	36. how to be a stripper

hey, look at us, we're doing that awesome thing where we write chapters like a bagillion weeks early. XD  
**disclaimer**: lol, you're funny.  
**dedication**: to NaNoWriMo and glitter and Wicked and home-made plushies and 30 seconds to mars. thank you. :)

now, "how to be a stripper" may commence.  
(or, in better terms: "**how to mindfuck the audience**". as les has said "...only you, sara. only you." :D)

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Shisui's mother poked her head into the living room, and smiled a secret smile.

Shisui and Itachi were sitting very close together, in front of the roaring fire. Their fingers were touching, Shisui's head dropped onto Itachi's shoulder, and the only sounds were the pop and crackle of the fire, and the soft sound of two people breathing in tandem.

The woman smiled, and withdrew.

She had a phone call to make.

* * *

"Well," Shisui murmured, "at least my mother approves?"

Itachi blinked. "...She knows?"

Shisui laughed softly. "Ita, she was just in here, watching us. I know my mom."

"... I hadn't noticed she was watching."

"Thought as much. ...What are we going to tell everyone else?"

"We shall tell them nothing."

Shisui knew that Itachi liked his relationships kept private, but... "Nothing? So that means that any time we're not alone, we're not together?"

"...No, we just won't say anything to them. But it's okay to do things like this..." and he looped their pinkies together. "Or this..." and kissed the corner of her mouth.

"...Don't _do_ that to me, I go cross-eyed."

"And we can't have that, can we?"

"No, thank you. ... I still think we need to tell the family _something_."

"That we're engaged or something?"

Shisui nudged him. "We are not engaged. Don't even go there, mister. We only just started dating. You didn't even _ask_ right."

"You know I don't waste time asking questions that I already know the answers to. And I did ask - just not _'Do you want to be my girlfriend?_' - I'm more subtle than that."

"Personal choice, Ita! What if I felt like saying 'no'?"

"... Would you even have considered saying no? Not just saying no- meaning it?"

"...No. Not ever."

He gave her the smuggest look in his arsenal. "Exactly."

"Still."

"Still what?"

"Still, I'd have liked to hear it out loud."

"Fine." He shifted just enough to look her straight in the face. "Shisui…"

"Yes, Ita?"

"Would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend? Make me the most blessed man on earth?"

Shisui stared at him. Not impressed, much?

"You are so insincere. I don't think I love you anymore."

"…Uh-huh."

"…You suck."

He smirked.

"Stop smirking at me!"

"Okay, then."

"You are incorrigible. I don't know why I put up with you."

"Because I'm insanely attractive? Because you are very tolerant of all my faults? Because you like me? A lot? Too much?"

"…Something like that."

"It's okay. Because I... may or may not feel... the exact same about you."

Shisui just smiled, and dropped her head to his shouder again. He was ridiculous, he really, really was. It didn't help that this had been a long time coming; Shisui was still metally adjusting all her carefully constructed world views, and _who knew_ how much work she still had to do.

Boys were dumb.

But sometimes they were worth it.

* * *

Mikoto looked at her sister-in-law. Kiri was _smiling_, her normally benign features slightly manic (if there was something the two Uchiha wives had in common, it was the need for grandchildren; apparently it was a prerequisite for being an Uchiha matriarch).

_That_ was never a good sign.

"Kiri, tell me that you're not plotting something awful that involves our children."

"Oh, Koto-chan, _look_ at them! They've finally got past all those horrible things they were putting each other through! Go look, Koto-chan, go _look_!" Kiri shoved Mikoto in the general direction of the doorway into the family room,and Mikoto poked her head through the doorway, and blinked.

And blinked.

And blinked.

And blinked.

And then jumped away from the door, slammed it behind her, and let out a mad cackle of glee. "Oh, _Kiri_, _look_ at them! I'M GOING TO HAVE GRANDCHILDREN! ALL IS NOT LOST!"

The two women giggled together.

Grandchildren?

Oh yes.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Karin parked in the school parking lot. She brushed her messy hair out of her face, and threw it up into an equally-messy bun.

The school loomed over her in a very unpleasant fashion.

She _really_ didn't want to go in there.

_Really_.

But there was nothing for it. Karin took a deep breath of air into her lungs, and headed towards the double doors. They were faded red, the paint chipping away, carved through with initials, and declarations of love, lust, revenge. She stared at them a moment, sad.

God, she wanted to get out of here.

She pushed through the doors, and headed to class.

* * *

Tenten lay her head on her desk. She heard Kakashi-sensei walk into the classroom, listened to him and Kurenai-sensei mumble things to each other before the latter left, and then gave a barely-there smile as she heard her somewhat-father give his lame excuses of being late.

But Tenten felt kind of empty - kind of drained of any kind of energy her body used to always have. Right now Tenten kind of wanted to... No, she didn't even know what she wanted, anymore.

She wanted peace, inside her mind.

She wanted to _say _the things she couldn't.

She wanted to be _pretty_.

Go, she wanted to get out of here.

She clenched her eyes shut and blocked everything out.

* * *

From behind his essential handy-dandy Icha Icha, Kakashi surveyed the class. Most of the class was there, dozing away their early morning blues.

But... Kakashi's only visible eye narrowed.

There was two-thirds of a certain group of girls who were currently playing hooky.

They were missing him.

Completely unacceptable.

"So this morning," he drawled, placing his _literature_ on his desk, "we're going to start with something new."

"We," he paused as he picked up the seating chart, "are going to take attendance."

* * *

The entire class sat up, and shrieked.

"_WHAT_?"

"Attendance? Since _when_?"

"He's kidding. He's got to be."

"You're shitting me."

"No way. Just - no fuckin' way."

"Seriously? He hasn't taken attendance since like - _ever_! He didn't even take attendance the first day, just that we should shut up and read!"

Kakashi eye twitched. Over the babble that had broken, he sighed. Well, _this_ was going to be fun. He ambled to his desk at the back of the class, picked up the thickest dictionary he could see, and ambled straight back to the front of the class. He stood there for a minute; the small group of students that sat at the front looked at him with wide eyes, and stuffed their fingers in their ears.

Kakashi waited a moment, and stared at the ceiling, dictionary in hand.

The dull roar didn't dim.

So Kakashi held the book out in front of him, and let it drop.

_THUNK_.

The entire class went silent.

Kakashi grinned to himself. "We're taking attendance."

* * *

**From: Hina-chan  
To: Candii  
OMFG GET YOUR SKINNY BUTT TO CLASS, KAKASHI'S TAKING ATTENDANCE, THIS IS LIKE A RECORD-BREAKER OR SOMETHING I'M SURE**.

* * *

Karin stared at her phone.

Kakashi.

Taking attendance.

She almost laughed.

Now, there were advantages and disadvantages to hiding in the bathroom. One of the advantages was the bathroom mirrors (Karin's favourite was on the third floor; it was _you're beautiful_ scrawled across it in bubbly, happy script. She had a sneaking suspicion it had likely been Ino). Another advantage was that it was quiet, and gave her a little room to think, a little time to breathe.

One of the disadvantages was how much a coward it made her feel.

Karin took a deep, deep breath of air into her lungs (almost to fortify herself against the rest of the day), took one last glance in the mirror (to confirm that she looked awful - _really_, this day could not get worse), and slung her bag over her shoulder.

_Grow some tits and get over yourself, Karin_, she told herself, and stepped out of the bathroom.

She wandered in the general direction of her homeroom class; Kakashi had no right to talk about tardiness. As long as she eventually showed up, he wouldn't mark her late. He and the rest of the class had come to that truce a long time ago; as long as they brought him a coffee, they were off the hook.

So Karin stopped, grabbed a couple of coffees, and went to class.

* * *

Hinata watched Karin mosey in half an hour after Kakashi had "taken attendance".

"Yo," the red-head told their teacher, and shoved the cup of coffee into his hands.

He stared at her, dead-pan, and Hinata almost bit through her lip to keep herself from laughing. "Sit down, kid."

Karin waggled her fingers at their teacher, and threw herself down in the seat next to Hinata.

Hinata stared at her. "Are you okay?"

"No. I don't want to be here."

Hinata shook her head, indigo bangs falling into her eyes. "I don't - I don't blame you. I - I mean..."

Karin just shrugged, a little bit rueful. "It's okay. I'll be - okay. Is Tenten alive?"

They both shot a simultaneous glance at Tenten. Her head was down on her desk, and she looked _miserable_. It was like looking at a trainwreck; you wanted to look away, but you just _couldn't_ because some part of you was sickly _fascinated_ by the process of watching someone fall apart.

"...So no, huh."

"No?"

"No."

* * *

**From: Candii  
To: Piglette  
fatty, are you coming to school today? i don't want to be all alone. AND KAKASHI TOOK ATTENDANCE. WE'RE AMAZED.**

**From: Piglette  
To: Candii  
Yes I am, mama. I'm on my way. I need to be surrounded by pretty people because I am so not feeling hot.**

* * *

Ino was... What?

What was this feeling?

This feeling that was making her breathe hard, chest rising and falling heavily. This feeling that was making her limbs shake, made her want to outstretch her room - her house - and fit the world within it. She'd think it was claustrophobia, but it was not that. Feeling phobias was Tenten's job. And it wasn't a panic attack, because even if Ino had suffered with one, once, it never came back.

Actually, she just wanted to be surrounded by people.

Here the buzz of one hundred and ten million conversations happening at once. Feel the heat that hundreds of bodies brought into a room. Catch a happy couple smile at each other and give a look that only they could understand. Watch friends grin and laugh at jokes that were more than anything something like "You just had to be there".

She wanted that.

She wanted it so badly.

Ino flipped her hair, and just as she stood in her room - small t-shirt, baggy sweatpants and vans - she grabbed a bag and pulled Sakura to her feet.

"We're going to school. And we're going to be _happy_." She smiled softly. "Even if it's fake."

* * *

A very bedraggled Sakura _glared_ at Ino. "Don't want."

Ino _glared_ right back. "Let's _go_, Forehead. _Now_."

"_No_."

"Sakura-Forehead-_Haruno_. We're going to school! Kakashi-sensei took _attendance_. Let's _go_."

"...He _what_?"

"_Exactly_!"

"But In-oooooooo..." Sakura whined.

Ino stomped a foot. "Sakura, I don't want to... to... Throw my life away because of... of... _this_! How many times do I have to do it over? Let's go and _live_ a little!"

"...I'm scared, Ino."

"I know. And I am, too. But... We have to _try_."

"...You better get me a latte, or I'm going to be even _sadder_."

Ino actually _grinned_. Well, _that_ was progress. "I will! We'll walk in with sunglasses over our eyes and a frappe for moi, and a latte for you! We'll totally look gorgeous."

"Or, _you'll_ look gorgeous, and _I'll_ look like something the cat dragged in."

"...Don't _start_ with me, Saku-whore. You're _beautiful_."

"Ino, you hit on everything that moves. Your definition of "beautiful" is skewed, so don't even."

"...Sakura, I'm going to slap you until you feel stunning."

All that Sakura was able to yell, even as Ino dragged her towards the bathroom was a very loud, very desperate cry for help. It went something along the lines of: "DOMESTIC ABUSE."

"THIS IS LOVE," Ino screeched back, and promptly ignored all other protests.

Yeah, because that is _totally_ how best friendship works.

_Totally_.

* * *

Smiling, Ino blinked at her creation. A little hair straightening, a hairpin or two and a touch of concealor and Sakura looked marvalous. Not that she didn't before, because honestly, Ino stood by her philosophy that everyone was beautiful regardless of anything.

"Now," She said, dragging her friend right back out into her room, "Let's go get our coffees and actually go learn something. Or, something like that."

She heard Sakura grumble some incoherent things, but Ino only rolled her eyes.

This had to be done. They were not _weak_! They were _strong_. Like... Like... Karin. Or, Tenten - because even Karin had dark hours and moments where she just couldn't. But not Tenten, Ino thought. She and Sakura were strong like her. And they were about to prove it!

The two walked out to her convertible and quickly mounted it, dropping their bags on the backseats. Ino made the engine roar to life before she zoomed right on out of there and to the nearest Starbucks. Because going anywhere else - going to _that _place - was _unacceptable_.

* * *

Boys sucked.

Boys really, really, _really sucked_.

_REALLY SUCKED, OKAY_.

Sakura sighed, and winced only marginally as she had allowed Ino to attack her face with make-up and sparkles and cover-up. And now, sitting in the passenger seat of Ino's car, she stared out the window, and wondered if this was a good idea.

She kind of thought it wasn't.

She'd much rather be in Ino's kitchen with a steaming cup of tea. It was safe. Ino's kitchen was a _No Boy Zone_ (mostly due to Ino's very over-protective father), and as such, it's sanctity was never breached. Ino's kitchen always had Ino _in_ it; Sakura didn't have to be alone, when she was in Ino's kitchen.

School, on the other hand, was everything that Ino's kitchen _wasn't_.

And Sakura didn't like it.

She didn't like it at all.

Sakura sat back in her seat, pinched and prodded at society's image of beauty, and really kind of hated everything.

* * *

Oh, how Ino loved society's new getups.

Like drive-thru Starbucks huts. Oh, that was the most brilliant thing Mankind could have ever thought up - next to glitter and chocolate, of course, but that was different. Now, all they needed was a Pretty Boy Museum in which every male species would be stuffed into and put on display so a girl could flail for a certain amount of time and then leave once it's over. Because then there would be no heartbreak.

And Ino furiously stood by her words of "NO ONE FUCKING DESERVES THAT".

So, passing through the drive-thru, Ino ordered her venti caramel _and _mocha frappucino and ordered Sakura's venti latte and sort of allowed the world one last chance.

No, she was sure she wouldn't move past this boy, but if she had to turn lesbian to get the love she so righteously deserved, then so be it! But the point was she was going to give it one last go - not love - but _living_. She was going to live up and have fun; if it was fake or not was all on her heart.

She didn't want to be cooped up in her home anymore, feeling sorry for herself, lying through her teeth at her Daddy, getting teary-eyed at night.

Nah, that was _enough_.

Ino smiled as she handed the woman her credit card, passed the latte to the quiet Sakura and took a quick sip of her drink. Once the whole procedure was over ("Credit?" "Mhm!"), Ino drove off to class. And with her shades covering her eyes, glossy blond locks loose, and a cheeky smile on her lips she opened her arms and allowed that one last chance to commence.

"I loooooove you Sakura!"

* * *

Sakura sighed. "I love you, too, Piggy."

She took the latte from Ino's fingers, and brought it to her lips. It was steaming hot, and Sakura felt like she'd just burnt her tongue - ick. "Hey, Piggy... what do we do now?"

"We go and be pretty," Ino said, with a flip of blonde hair.

"...I'm not sure if I like that idea. I don't want to deal with men anymore," Sakura muttered into her cup, her eyebrows drawn together in a grumpy frown.

"Turn lesbian and marry me, instead!" Ino chirped.

...Seriously?

"You're already, like, engaged to Karin. I can't come between you, because that's not nice."

"Oh puh-lease. We can totally marry each other. A threesome is sexy."

"…No, Pig. Just. No."

"God, you're so uptight, Forehead! Liiiiiive a little."

"I'll go live in a hole. Where men do not exist."

"…I don't like this idea. Do I need to get hissy? I will!"

"…Just. Just take me to school. Hinata will sort this out."

"…Oh god."

"_Exactly_."

"No, _not_ exactly. Just… Just listen to the music, Sakura."

Sakura grumbled ungratefully, and allowed Ino to blast the volume on the radio. Sometimes, it was honestly just so much better to let Ino alone, and to do what she wanted. If that meant really, really loud music, then that was what it meant.

* * *

The rest of the ride was quiet, save for the loud music blasting through Ino's speakers.

It wasn't Blink, tho'.

She hasn't listened to Blink since _that _day. What they were listening to, though, was The Beatles!

Oh, Ino loved The Beatles. They made her so happy. So, so, so happy.

That's why a grin was plastered on her face and her spirits were up, a bit. It wasn't something like moving on, quickly (or at all, really), because there was still that horribly dark part of her trying to consume her and make her go back to her home. But... it was a start.

Too soon, she was parking her car in the student parking lot. Once the deed was done, Ino grabbed her bag and her frappe. She flipped some of her blond hair over her shoulder and pushed her shades back up the bridge of her nose.

It was time.

Together, the two walked into the building, ignoring anyone that turned to look at them. Ino didn't have time for explanations and she didn't owe them anything; she owed an explanation to seven teachers and three friends, and that was it. So there.

Ino'd hear Sakura grumbling to herself, at her side, but she paid her friend no mind. Sakura had a different pace of coping and a different method. Ino wouldn't force her into anything, aside from forcing her out of the house.

Because that just had to be done.

Walking into Kakashi's opened-door class, Ino waved at the silver-haired man. "Kakashi-sensei! I'm here! I've missed you!"

Kakashi gave her a deadpan look and muttered a, "Go sit down, Ino."

So Ino grabbed Sakura by the wrist and dragged her to the far back where Karin, Hinata and Tenten were. Things did not look pretty.

* * *

Karin glanced up.

"Oh my. My lover. _Where_ have you been?" Karin gasped.

"Omai! My wifey, I've missed you so much!" Ino half-shrieked.

The two girls threw themselves at each other. The rest of the class coughed awkwardly, and looked away. Hinata rolled her eyes at the both of them. "You two are ridiculous," she said. "Please sit down, before you embarrass the class to dissent."

Karin and Ino, arms wrapped around each other, just stared at her.

The resounding "_No,_" that spilled forth was perfect and simultaneous.

Hinata resisted the urge to hit her head against the nearest wall.

(Karin, on the other hand, thought that maybe, if this kept up, they'd actually go back to normal. And normal... normal was good. Normal was what Karin wanted. Karin liked normal. Normal was good.)

* * *

With her arms still wrapped around Karin, Ino sat down in the desk closest to the redhead.

This was just a tiny bit more normal.

This was good.

Because Ino and Karin were always throwing themselves at each other, always flirting, always throwing innuendos, always flirting, always protecting each other. This... was normal. Almost, almost there.

So, with a solidified new hope, Ino turned to stare at her friends. Past the slight annoyance and slight embarrassment, Hinata looked fine. Kind of down on behalf of her friends, but fine. Karin, who was her lifeline - each other's lifeline - was clinging on to her. Which was not good, she supposed.

And Tenten... wait.

Tenten.

Ino darted her eyes to the quiet brunette. And that was just it - Tenten was never quiet! Tenten'd be grumbling about getting a room right about now. or demanding she'd get the middle. Or... or... something. This was not good. Ino stared at the brunette, watched as loose chestnut-colored strands of hair covered her face as she laid her head down on it.

...What was wrong?

This was not supposed to be happening - this was like a great big pause to the road back to normal.

"What's wrong with her?" she breathed out. Something almost told her it had to do with Hinata's cousin.

* * *

Hinata shot Tenten a miserable look.

"I don't - I'm not sure," she murmured, softly, and looked away. Hinata didn't know what to tell Ino, because Tenten _wasn't talking_. Of course, Hinata knew (er, had her suspicions. Same difference, really) that it was to do with Neji. But she had no comfirmation from Tenten, and that was what she needed.

Because what could she do? There was _nothing_.

Tenten had never liked it when people meddled in her personal life; even her closest friends her subject to Tenten's irrational rules about her close-lippedness.

Hinata sighed.

"Well - guys. The banquet's coming up. And, uh... it''recomingwhetheryoulikeitornot," Hinata said in a rush.

* * *

Ino blinked and stared at the small little thing that was Hinata.

"_What_," she spluttered.

Banquet?

What?

What?

Banquet...?

_What_?

Yeah, this did not compute. This did not _compute_.

* * *

Tenten vaguely heard something about a banquet; and her mind - or what was still sane in there - instantly clicked Hyuuga plus Banquet equals _bad shit_.

She shot her head up, honey-brown eyes blank. "Sorry, not going."

Because she was not going to face Neji. And she was not going to be a hypocrite and show up like if nothing. It was already bad enough that she was talking to Hinata when she clearly didn't deserve it. So... She won't go. Because Neji was a Hyuuga and he had to be there. Tenten... Well, Tenten was just a friend and she didn't matter.

Hinata's eyeball twitched and her voice went low and deadly as she said, "I'm sorry, you seem to be under the delusion that you have a _choice_."

"I do. I'm not going." Tenten did not back down. Not this time. _I'm sorry, Hinata._

"Oh yes you are."

If her body had not been completely hidden under the oversized jacket, her shaking would have been obvious. But she wasn't shaking because she was angry; she was... She didn't know why she was shaking. She hid her hands in her pockets to hide their quake. "No, I'm fucking not."

"Yes, you fucking are, because you need to get out of your house, and I _will _recruit your mother on this one." Hinata folded her arms in front of her chest and glared. _Glared_.

"I don't care. I'm not _going_ and no one is going to force me."

"Fine. Don't expect any help from me when my cousin throws himself off a cliff because you were too much of a coward to say something to him."

"...You need to _shut up_. Just... _Shut up_." Tenten stood up and threw her desk out of the way as she walked out of the classroom, eyes hidden under her bangs to avoid catching Kakashi's (or anyone's) eye.

* * *

Karin stared at Hinata, amazed, and slightly horrified. "Okay, if this is what Naruto does to you, I'm sorry, I can't let you date him anymore. You might actually end up offending someone!"

Hinata studied her nails. "Oh, this isn't Naruto-kun's fault. And I _dare_ you to blame him, you'll last five minutes. You know Tenten hates being called a coward. _Everyone_ knows that. It's like reverse psychology; I called her a coward and told her not to come. She'll come just to spite me. Isn't that just hideous of me?"

Sakura, Karin, and Ino all stared at the small, innocent-looking girl in front of them, horrified.

"You know, I'm - I think I'm actually scared of her," Karin muttered to Ino and Sakura.

Sakura nodded fervently.

There were some things that just should never have come into existence.

Hinata Hyuuga's spine was, apparently, one of them.

Hinata just smiled.

What a good little girl.

(Or something like that.)

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

The day went on.

There was screaming.

And anger.

And laughter.

(Even though Tenten seemed to have disappeared.)

Things were... almost normal.

The day went on.

(Karin went home, threw herself down on her bed, and forced herself not to cry.)

The day went on.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Day 12.

Karin woke up, eyes puffy and red.

Okay. That was enough.

No more tears.

He wasn't even worth it - not anymore. _Nothing_ was worth crying for three days (and eleven nights, but who was counting?), and seeing absolutely no one, speaking to absolutely no one. It - _he_ - was so just - _not_. And Karin wasn't about to put her whole life on hole because of some _guy_. It made her sick with herself, just a little.

She'd spent three days crying over him.

And that was enough.

Karin pushed the covers of her bed off her body, and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, and just sat there, for a moment. Percy, curled up right next to where Karin had been lying not a moment previously, mewed, annoyed. Karin smiled down at her precious little cat. Percy had been the only one to sit with Karin for those awful three days, and make sure that she didn't kill herself, or something.

Pfffft, please.

As if Karin would ever kill herself over someone as _insignificant_ as _Suigetsu_.

Karin stood up. She was going to get up, take a shower, make herself gorgeous, and then go out.

She was going to get her stuff back. She didn't care what it took; didn't care if he was there or not, didn't care if it hurt or not, because _she didn't care_. She wanted her skirts and her shirts and all the things she'd brought over to Suigetsu's when she'd sort-of moved in. Karin gritted her teeth, and steeled her spine. _This_ was just going to be _so_ fun, wasn't it?

Karin tossed her hair over her shoulder.

She was better then this.

And then she stalked out of her room, and headed towards the bathroom.

* * *

Suigetsu laid on his bed, on his stomach, limbs spread out, face stuffed on a pillow.

He hadn't really moved much for the past hours. This was one of those "don't get him wrong" things - he'd been thoroughly pissed for past... past... fuck, how long had it been since he'd been a walking sociopath? A week? He didn't fucking know. But right now he was trying to meditate - in his own way, of course. He was trying to calm himself down, if just a bit.

But let's face it - he couldn't.

Suigetsu was something more than a hot head.

He was... He sort of had anger issues; he wasn't sure if anyone had noticed. But it was true, he had a problem - anger management classes seemed like something that would be in his future.

But then again, Suigetsu didn't want to think about it - at all.

Going to class (because he wasn't going to be paying for nothing) has been hell; working at the lab has been torture; hanging out with what was left of his friends was pointless. His life has suddenly turned down fifteen notches, if not one hundred. What happened?

Everything had been going fine... And then...

Suigetsu's hands curled into fists and he grit his teeth.

He didn't want to think about it. Right.

So he just remained with his eyes closed and tried to pretend he was at least tired.

...

He gave her a _key._ A fuckin' _key _to his _house._

If anyone fuckin' said that didn't mean shit, they didn't know a damn thing - a damn _fuckin' _thing. God! How could he have been so fuckin' stupid? How could he had let her in so fuckin' fast? So... So deep.

How could he had let her see that side of him he let _no one _else see? He was a fuckin' iiot.

He - there were no words to describe how fuckin' stupid he was. God, right now, Suigetsu really actually hated himself. He felt disgust.

His anger rose, but he remained a ragdoll (of some sort) on his bed.

* * *

Sparkles.

Karin liked sparkles. And cover-up. Karin _definitely_ liked cover-up. She liked straighteners and long showers and sparkles and cover-up.

She swiped mascara (not even waterproof, because waterproof make-up was for girls who cried over their ex-boyfriends, and that just wasn't Karin's style) across her lashes, bubblegum lipgloss across her lips, and white sparkles across her lids. Long sheets of straightened scarlet hair put up in a loopy, pretty bun. Cover-up kind of everywhere.

She looked good, given that she'd not really eaten anything in three days.

(Oh, Kurenai was going to _kill_ her...)

Karin stared at herself in the mirror for a moment. She hardly recognized the coldly beautiful girl staring tiredly back at her.

She sighed, and slipped out of the bathroom, closing the light on her way out. She headed downstairs, and slid black-stockinged feet into her favourite pair of heeled boots. The cream pencil skirt would do nothing cut the cold, but it was pretty. And that was all that mattered to Karin, at this point.

"I'll be right back, Percy," she told her cat softly, and stepped into the garage.

The cold was immediate. Karin shivered, and slipped into her car. She pushed the remote garage opener thing, and waited as the garage door screeched open. She slid the keys into the ignition, and smoothly pulled out backwards.

She took a breath, knuckles white.

_Here we go_, she thought.

And then she was gone, the garage door closing slowly behind her as she left.

* * *

Some hours possibly passed.

Suigetsu was still in the same position.

He was still impossibly pissed.

He still wanted to hurt something.

Someone.

Anyone.

His breathing turned ragged just at the thought. He couldn't... God, Suigetsu... He wasn't all that stable, was he?

He kind of blamed her voice inside his head.

She kept talking to him; her teasing, the words she'd murmur to him just after they...

Suigetsu sat up on the edge of his bed, rested his elbows on his thigh and held on to his head. His fingers wove themselves through his tangled hair and Suigetsu decided he was going crazy. God, he didn't know what to do with himself. Shaking, because his anger was reaching it's maximum, he grabbed his alarm clock - pulled it until it was forcefully unplugged...

...And then he threw it towards his mirror.

Breaking it into tiny little pieces that fell and littered the floor. They made it glint - if it were possible, the ground would be bleeding. Suigetsu wanted something to bleed...

* * *

Karin parked in front of the house that, for a while, she'd considered "home". She got out of the car, and looked up at it.

It looked empty. Sad.

She sighed, and headed for the front door.

She still had the housekey on her keychain. Karin laughed softly, tired, and slid the key into the lock, and turned. The locked clicked, and she pushed the door open. The familiar scent of - of - of _something_ (home) assaulted her nose, and she slid her shoes off.

Suigetsu probably wasn't even home.

It would make it a hundred times easier, if he wasn't home.

Karin didn't know if she could legitimately face him. She didn't know how she'd react, didn't know how _he'd_ react, didn't know - well, didn't know a lot of things. And until she _did_ know those things, she wasn't going to be able to do anything - say anything - to him.

(_i__ don't miss him really what are you talking about you clearly know nothing about me_ and the thoughts could only stream)

Karin stood in the foyer, for a minute, before taking another steadying breath, and starting to make her way upstairs. She had a lot of stuff.

This was going to take a while.

* * *

One thing entered Suigetsu's mind.

Someone was in his house.

And you know what the fucked up part about that was? He didn't give a fucking shit.

Let them take all his stuff; he didn't care. Not right now.

Why the hell was he so angry?

It wasn't even anger anymore! It was pure unadulterated rage. It was like the dam finally broke and all the pent up anger he'd been keeping inside for who knew how long was finally leaking out in violent torrents.

And suddenly he gave a bitter laugh.

Suigetsu finally realized why he was so... Why he was like this. The only woman that ever owned his heart was his mother - she was his everything; she meant heaven and earth to him. And suddenly she was taken from him so abruptly, that he was still bitter over it. And here comes a girl like Karin, someone that broke his ways of never letting a woman see his heart. And he gave it to her, blindly, not on a silver platter because he was never that sophisticated...

He tossed it to her... He didn't realize Karin was a butterfinger.

That's what the rage was.

He knew he should have left his heart inside a cage - never to let anyone else see it.

The door to his room opened.

Suigetsu remained a statue.

* * *

Karin peeked in. She couldn't see his bed, but she could see her hamper, and she could see that the blankets were pulled away to one side. Her favourite pillow was still on the bed. She wondered if it still smelled like her perfume - probably not.

Actually, she was amazed that her things were still intact.

She wouldn't have blamed him, even, if he'd destroyed them all.

How could she?

But he wasn't there (she hoped). So it didn't matter, she guessed.

Karin slipped into the room, head down, and quietly went about gathering her things.

A sparkle to her right caught her eye, and Karin glanced to her right.

And froze.

There were shards of glass on the ground. And there was another person in the room - _the_ other person, the one she missed and hurt and kind of hated and maybe liked a little bit too much. Karin didn't - _couldn't_ - look him in the eye.

She dropped the clothes in her arms to ground, and went about gathering up the shards of glass. He'd broken the mirror.

Stupid boy.

Karin fought not to cry.

* * *

He could feel her in the room and he hated how his heartbeat escalated erratically. Had he been one of those unfortunate souls that suffered from a heart disease, he'd been dead by now. But instead, here he was, listening to the pounding of his heart, hiding his face in his hands and sitting as stiff as a gargoyle in one of those gothic churches.

Honestly, Suigetsu didn't want to be there.

At all.

But what kind of coward would he be if he left his (_their_, fucking _admit _it, bro, it's yours _and _hers no matter how much you want to fight it) room? Suigetsu sighed tiredly and cracked his neck. If possible, he grew insanely still as he heard a short... kind of huffy little "Ow". Curiosity getting the best of him, he looked up, amethyst eyes staring as Karin glared at her brand new cut.

Suigetsu stared for a moment before, almost without even thinking or demanding it, he stood up and walked towards her. He came to a stop in front of her and once he crouched down, he snatched her wrist and stared at her finger for a second before he brought it to his lips. He took it inside his mouth and sucked at the blood for a minute or two.

He could feel her staring at him. He could feel the shock. But Suigetsu chose to keep his eyes closed, running the tip of his tongue along the small, delicate little split of her skin. When he was positive the blood had clogged up, he pulled her finger out and wiped it clean with his palm.

And the next thing he did signed his death sentence.

He pulled her close and smashed his lips against hers.

* * *

Karin let him kiss her for a full minute.

It was fireworks and stomach knotting and lots of other horrible-in-a-good-way things.

And desperation.

As if Karin didn't know that feeling.

It took more willpower then she knew she had to press her fists against his chest, and push him away. But she had to. Because they - no. They'd fucked up. They'd had their chance. Frankly, it was a miracle, that they had lasted as long as they had.

She turned her face away, and whispered, voice tiny "Let me go, Sui."

He buried his nose in her neck, and Karin wondered if that was him shaking, or if she was just imagining thing. "I hate you so much," he told her, gruff and angry and low.

"I know. I know." She prayed her voice didn't break.

"No, you don't," he growled.

His fists were clenching and unclenching, probably unconsciously. Karin had noticed he did that, when he was really fucked up over something. He probably didn't even realize that he did it. "No," she said, "I do know. That's why I'm going."

_Don't cry don't cry don't cry****__ do not cry, you're being weak_!

"Then why are you still here?"

Karin smiled at him, right then. It was a sad smile, jagged around the edges, the preceedings of tears in her eyes; it kept slipping into the neutral line it always took on when she cried, wobbly little thing that it was. She sniffed. "I'm just getting my stuff. That's the only reason. Sorry. I miss you. But it's not - this isn't - we can't - I have to go."

That was all she managed to get out, before she pulled herself away from him completely, and picked up her favourite shirt. Karin kept her head down.

"I'll just - go. Bye, Sui. See you around. Or maybe not," she said, and threw him another wobbly smile, as she left the room, her laundry in her arms.

* * *

Suigetsu watched her leave. And he stayed there, crouched down, where he had been - where _she _had been. He stared at the door and swallowed thickly.

He didn't really know what he was feeling. But that wasn't new. Not at all - Suigetsu never knew what he was feeling, unless it was rage. Right now, he felt this horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach; a migraine was kicking in and he wanted to... to...

He got up and ran out of the room until he caught up with her. He grabbed her arm and spun her around; pulled her close until she was glued to his chest. He stared at her; at her pretty-pretty-pretty red eyes. And her pretty-pretty-pretty lips. And she was so pretty-pretty-

Beautiful.

"You're so stupid, Toots," he murmured before he kissed her. So softly, so gently, so slowly, so hesitantly, so... so... so... God, she drove him crazy. In all the wrong and right places.

And he'd be lying if he said he didn't like it.

His heart was pounding like crazy, again. And he wanted to kiss her senseless. Make them both so senseless, that it'd stop the pain they both were feeling.

Suigetsu wanted a lot of things, but he didn't get much, did he?

* * *

She pulled away, oxygen getting to her lungs as they breathed. Part of Karin (a very large part, in fact) was perfectly content to stay there, wound around this stupid boy for the rest of forever.

But.

"I spent _three days_ crying over you. And I just - I can't. I can't. I can't," she murmured, and tried to contain the hiccoughs that were trying to work their way out of her throat. Karin shook her head, forehead pressed against Suigetsu's.

Ino.

Ino.

_Ino_.

"We can't. We _can't_, Sui. We just _can't_."

And she knew he was thinking of the same thing, only the reverse.

"Just... Leave. Karin. Leave. Just..." and he carefully let go of her, before turning around, and walking back into his (their) room, and letting the door shut.

Karin waited to hear the click of the lock. "Okay," she told the closed door. "Okay. Bye."

She picked up her laundry again, and this time, she left.

* * *

Suigetsu had to strain his hearing to hear the front door close.

He glared at the wall in front of him and then he punched it as hard as his being could allow him. In the end, there was another dent on the wall and his fist was bleeding. And what could he say? He had wanted for someone to bleed - he never said that someone couldn't be him.

He sighed deeply, his body shaking in anger as he stalked towards wherever the hell he had stashed his phone.

Suigetsu couldn't be in here.

He'd go crazier than he already was.

He'd hurt himself.

He'd break things.

He-

Just couldn't really be here anymore. Not right now.

* * *

**From: 'Getsu  
To: Barbie-bitch; Ramen Nerd  
...i can't be here. meet me somewhere? please?**

**From: Barbie-bitch  
To: 'Getsu  
I do not understand why you insist on calling me that. Are you at home?**

**From: Ramen Nerd  
To: 'Getsu  
okay, okay, okay. are you at your house?**

**From: 'Getsu  
To: Barbie-bitch; Ramen Nerd  
yeah.**

**From: Barbie-bitch  
To: 'Getsu  
I will be there in three minutes. Do not do anything that a heart-broken Naruto would do.**

**From: Ramen-nerd  
To: 'Getsu  
i'll be there in, like, five. don't do anything stupid.**

**From: 'Getsu  
To: Barbie-bitch; Ramen Nerd  
too late. i broke my mirror. but, okay, just hurry the fuck up.**

**From: Barbie-bitch  
To: 'Getsu  
You idiotic gorilla. I am outside your house.**

**From: Ramen Nerd  
To: 'Getsu  
YOU FRICKEN NEANDERTHAL. OMFG, I SPELLED THAT RIGHT. OH, IPHONE, I LOVE YOU. I'LL CALL YOU TISH FROM NOW ON**.

* * *

Something of a ghost of a smirk twitched onto Suigetsu's lips as he read his friends' messages.

Shaking his head, He pocketed his phone, grabbed his keys (tho', something told him he wasn't going to come home tonight) and headed out the room, and down the hallway. He specifically avoided the quarter of a space where he and Karin had stood not so long ago, but rather, forced his legs to walk faster and out of the damn house.

Just his luck.

Neji's car was double parked right in front of his walkway. The idiot was inside, facing the front, face impassive, shoulders hunched and Suigetsu had a vague idea that he had his hands pocketed in his coat. Just as he was about to make his way towards the car, Naruto's blue Mustang appeared; he went ahead and parked it behind Suigetsu's precious Corvette on his driveway, got out and walked with him towards Neji's car.

The blond clapped him on the back, "You cool?"

"Nah," Suigetsu shook his head, "This shit's bogus."

Naruto shook his head as he slipped into the backseat of Neji's car while Suigetsu got shotgun.

Sighing, he turned and gave Neji the standard male head-shake-salute. "'Sup, bro."

* * *

"Very little. Hinata is well. Naruto's mother misses you," Neji answered, eyes locked on the road after they'd backed out of Suigetsu's drive.

"'Course she does. It's me, I'm like her baby."

Neji debated for a moment, where to go with this - he could already _hear_ Naruto grumbling in the backseat. Naruto was slightly territorial, when it came to the women in his life (including, much to Neji's _great_ dissatisfaction, Hinata). "_Someone_ is conceited."

"Pfft. It's not really being conceited when we know it's true."

Naruto, in the back, started yelling. ""SHUT UP. SHE'S MY MOM, STOP IT. GO TAKE SOMEONE ELSE'S MOM. LIKE THE DOG'S. OR THE TEME'S. MINE."

Yes, Neji thought, Naruto was possessive of the women in his life. However, if he ever made Hinata cry, he would find his intestines pulled out of his body through his huge blond mouth.

Neji enjoyed the mental image for a moment.

It was rather satisfying.

"Where to?"

* * *

Suigetsu shrugged, a teasing smirk on his lips as he listened to Naruto lower down his yelling to grumbles again. "I don't know man, the bar, I guess."

"Bar," Naruto perked up. "Dude, I haven't been there since..." His mood lowered. "Well, since Sasuke-teme... You know."

Vaguely, Suigetsu saw Neji twitch. "Please do not remind me of that."

The three shared a sigh and the ride went a bit quiet. A little _too _quiet for Suigetsu's taste. He didn't want quiet; he wanted noise - a distraction. He blinked and turned to stare at the road, leaning his weight against the locked car-door. "How is he, anyway? I haven't heard from that douche since that day."

He caught Naruto's shrug from the side-view mirror. "I'unno. He's not picking up his calls or answering texts _or _emails. But... Given that his mom hasn't freaked out, I guess he's... alright, at least."

Suigetsu nodded. And then an idea, of sorts, popped into his head. He always _did _love fucking around with Neji. "So, Hyuuga, how's your girl?"

* * *

Neji's hands were white-knuckled on the wheel. He'd managed to not think of that girl since he'd last seen her - he'd managed to not think of it, at all. And with a few words, Suigetsu, unknowingly, had brought it all back.

Neji winced. "She is not of my concern, as I am apparently not important to her. At all. Please do not speak of it."

"...Dude, not you too." Suigetsu turned to give Neji a looked that was a cross of horrification and sympathy. "This shit sucks ass."

Neji snapped his head down, in a jerk of a nod. "Correct."

He felt like a robot; too jerky, hinged, unable to move as he needed to. Alcohol. He needed alcohol; alcohol, or something else that would manage too cool his brain down. He needed something that would cool his system down, so that he didn't do something painfully rash.

Like call that girl.

Neji's hands tightened painfully on the wheel, again.

No, he would not call her. He would not.

He would _not_.

* * *

Naruto, from his seat in the back, watched his two friends with concealed sadness and some sort of irritation. He wasn't quite sure where the irritation was coming from; but the sadness, he was positive. He actually felt kind of... Kind of like a jerk at being okay with his girlfriend - being happy - while they were all... broken some way or another.

Suigetsu - he hadn't seen Suigetsu like this in a long time. And that was saying a lot, given that Suigetsu got angry rather easily (easier than Sasuke-teme did, by a long shot). But right now he looked like he was about ready to go off and burn down another building. Only that wouldn't do anyone good - not only would he go back to jail (not juvy, given he's already eighteen) but he'd also... Ah, Naruto didn't even want to think about it.

And now even _Neji_.

Neji the guy who didn't really seemed to have ever had any sort of... relationship with a girl. And the first one he ever got into, any kind of way it was, and she -

Naruto swallowed.

"I'll be DD."

* * *

Neji shot Naruto a quiet, thankful glance in the rearview mirror.

He hated being Desginated Driver, anyway. Neji parked, got out of the car, stiff as a board, and waited for his friends to get out. After they managed to drag themselves from the luxe interior of the car, Neji clicked his keys, and listened to the expensive car lock.

There was something secure in the sound, and Neji handed his keys over to Naruto.

Naruto pocketed them without a word, and in they went.

* * *

Suigetsu ordered a never ending round of shots (never ending, of course, until he was shitfaced and couldn't drink anymore). Though he might envy Neji for a long while; a James Bond-style martini. Did that not sound fucking good? Though, Suigetsu had snorted when he heard him say, "Shaken, not stirred."

But either way, they were drinking their stupid sorrow away.

And rage.

You can't really forget the rage.

Sighing, Suigetsu waited for the bartender to fill up his glass again.

Next to him, Naruto drummed his fingers on the table. "You wanna crash at my place?"

Suigetsu shrugged.

He turned his attention to the very still Neji. Suigetsu patted his shoulder, "You okay there, buddy?"

* * *

Neji nodded, smooth movement in the form of alcohol returned to him.

He just wanted to go home. Sleep for a while. Ignore every possibility of ever doing something as _ridiculous_ as fall in love again. Ignore every phone in the house. Ignore every _person_ in the house (he didn't need the scolding that Hinata would give him - she hated his [and for that matter, Naruto's, too. Neji winced. It never made do, to make Hinata unhappy] drinking habits). _Ignore every single person in the house_.

That was how Neji planned to get through the night.

It would have gone perfectly according to plan, especially after Naruto dropped his drunk ass off.

Had his phone not started ringing. Neji groaned, and, standing on the front porch, flicked it open. "'Lo...?"

"_...Neji...?_"

It was a girl's voice, husky, low. There was something vaguely like déjà vu there - her voice tingled through Neji's blood, the familiarity startling through the haze of alcohol.

"What - who is this?"

A quiet intake of breath on the other end of the line alerted Neji that whoever it was, was about to speak. "_...You know who it is, don't you?_"

"No," he said. Neji shook his head. Who was he to care if she couldn't see it?

"_Well... I'm glad you've forgotten me... Let's... I'm... Are you okay?_"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Neji asked the painfully familiar voice (he couldn't place it, but he'd heard it before... and there was some unhappy memory attached to it, and Neji didn't want it, anyway).

"_Just... wonderin'._"

Neji said nothing.

"_I think I'm sorry, you know..._"

"...I have no idea what you're talking about," said Neji.

"_So just take it. Take the apology. 'Coz I feel like I did something awful..._"

"I don't even know who I'm talking to."

The crackle and pop of static reigned, for a moment. And then the girl sighed, and asked "_You're drunk, aren't you_?"

"Should I not be drunk?" Neji asked, rhetoric.

"_But... It's cool. 'Coz I'm drunk, too... I... I wish we could be drunk together... Like last time..._" She giggled, and something about the sound grated. That voice - it wasn't a giggling voice. Some deep part of Neji knew it. But- "_It was fun... I kinda miss you... A lot..._"

Neji squinted into the darkness. "...I have this inkling that this ought to mean something to me. But it simply does not."

"_...Oh... Well..._" She sighed, again, and- "_I'm sorry for wasting your time_."

The connection broke.

And Neji, drunk and confused, couldn't help feeling like he'd just seriously fucked something up.

* * *

Suigetsu burped and rubbed his stomach as he leaned back in his seat.

He'll admit one thing to himself, and that was that he was drunk off his ass.

A lazy, drunken smirk rested on his lips as he closed his eyes and tried not to snicker at the vibration of the car as it moved. But then an idea struck him and he slowly turned to stare at Naruto - it was a blond blob. Definitely Naruto.

"H-hey," he said before pursing his lips. "Bro... Drop me off... Uh... Drop me off at..."

"'Getsu, I'm not taking you to Karin's," Naruto muttered without sparing him a glance.

Suigetsu frowned. "Why... Not..."

Naruto turned to look at him. "I'm not sure. But if you were sober, you'd tell me not to."

Still frowning, Suigetsu huffed and pouted. "But... I'm... I'm drunk. So... Yeah..."

"Gah," Naruto ran an agitated hand through his blond spikes. "Don't put me through this shit, 'Getsu. Coz either way I'm at a bad end!"

"Then j-just take me over there..."

Naruto bit at the inside of his cheek, brow furrowed in frustration and indecision. When it came to Suigetsu - the youngest of the five - or any of his friends for that matter, Naruto could kind of grow very protective. After a long while, Naruto sighed dejectedly. "Fine, I'll take you. But you better not give me shit about this later."

Suigetsu hummed.

The rest of the ride was quiet, aside from Suigetsu's random burps and slurs. Thankfully, or not, the ride came to a quick stop when Naruto double parked in front of Karin's house. Almost hesitantly, he got out of the car and went around to the passenger's side. He opened the door and took a firm grip of Suigetsu's arm.

"Well, c'mon then, douche." He pulled him out and heaved him up, sliding an arm around the younger boy-man's waist and having him wrap an arm around his shoulder. "God, you're making an ass out of yourself."

* * *

Karin looked up from her computer, and blinked.

Someone had just parked on her driveway.

She glanced at the clock. It was almost two AM. Who the hell would be showing up at two AM?

...

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, _no_.

Karin couldn't breathe.

* * *

.

.

.

.

Extra thoughts from us:

**sonya is awesome because**: she has a lot of homework. she spent her first REAL weekend in college doing 16 hours worth of homework. thank god for labor day weekend. but college is really nice after that. OH. my favorite thing to do: on the random occasion that i do go to a party, i don't get drunk & i do laugh at all of the people stumbling around. think about it. ;)  
**sara laughs and claps because**: there's so much happiness in the world. waking up to txts from silly boys makes me smile. iloveyou. :) we're pretty happy, people. how about you?  
**les stumbles rather drunkenly because**: i get drunk off of pretty words and there are only few who know the magic ones. ;)

**WE LOVE YOU. WE LOVE YOU. WE LOVE YOU ALL. we're working on it, so review, please? they make our day, and we read every single one and flail like mad. and making us flail is usually a good thing - it's inspiring to us. SO PLEASE REVIEWWWW. :D**


	37. how to defy gravity like jwoww's boobs

shit just got real, people.  
**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to the really awesome DQ commercials, the days spent sleeping&studying, and the nights spent laughing&drinking. :)

**Sara screams on the rooftops**: you make me crazy, baby. NEXT TIME? THERE WILL BE NO NEXT TIME. also, i'm totally listening to Pink Floyd. lessthan3  
**les feasts on a tree branch**: ELEPHANT SHOES. That is all. No, wait: my yellow silly band turns into a duck. /giggles  
**sonya**: "so i've discovered something about college: EVERYONE seems to be half out of their mind & the other half that HAS their mind... well... they're really annoying. because they know they're in control. & the ones that party all the time & think you're a loser for trying to keep up an AB? they. suck."

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

There were tears of joy running down Lee's face.

That was _never_ a good thing, Kiba swore. When Lee had tears of joy running down his face, it meant that something awful was about to happen.

"_Sasuke-san_! You have finally mastered the fine art of _roasting marshmallows over a candle_! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!"

This could not be going anywhere good.

"Lee, shut up and get away from me," Sasuke hissed through gritted teeth.

"No, my friend! I MUST HUG YOU!"

Yeah, definitely nowhere good.

"Hell _no_. Lee, _back the fuck up_."

Lee, still with tears of joy streaking down his cheeks, promptly ignored Sasuke's hissed remark, and threw himself on the stoic, stiff, dark boy. Sasuke vaguely looked like he was about to throttle someone.

_Definitely_ nowhere good.

Kiba snorted, and did nothing. (This was primetime entertainment! How could _anyone_ stop something that had this kind of an entertainment factor?)

Gaara snorted, and pulled Lee off of Sasuke. Really, it had nothing to do with Uchiha; it was more the fact that he _knew_ what Lee's glomping hugs were like, and felt that no one ought to be subjected to them without actually wanting that, _ever_. It was cruel.

_Seriously_.

Lee sniffled.

* * *

Sasuke was seething.

He did _not _like being hugged. He did _not _like being hugged by anyone that was not his mother or... or... _her_. So Lee was going to _die_, if it weren't for Gaara.

But he shook the anger off, because he didn't have the energy to be a total asshole, right now. Instead, he glared at the marshmallow. He didn't even fucking like sweets. And marshmallows were fucking disgusting.

"You realize I hate sweets, correct," he drawled.

Lee looked appalled. "Sasuke-san!_ No one _hates sweets!"

Lee was fucking retarded, Sasuke summed up.

They were classmates for four years - saw each other almost daily. And he still didn't know crap.

God.

"_I _hate sweets and marshmallows are disgusting." He handed it towards the Youthful man-boy. "Eat it."

* * *

Lee stared at the s'more in Sasuke's hand.

And then at Sasuke's face.

And then at the s'more, again.

And then at Sasuke, again.

And then at the s'more.

...

He looked at the s'more.

And felt very, very sad for what he was about to do.

He took the s'more out of Sasuke's hand.

And proceeded to smush it all over Sasuke's face.

(_Such a waste_! Lee thought. But it was for the greater good! Sasuke-san could not _possibly_ go through life without ever trying the goodness that were _s'mores_! They were incredible and godly and _wonderful_ and...)

Oh dear, that rather _was_ a lovely, pulsing vein in Sasuke-san's forehead.

Lee thought it a premeditative gesture, to start running.

* * *

Sasuke had his eyes closed and he took a deep, deep, deep breath in.

His lips were pressed into a thin line and he could feel a throbbing vein on his forehead.

And then, he _exploded._

"LEE, I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT._" _He stood from his seat and sprinted after the screeching male. "GET BACK HERE SO I CAN SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS, YOU FUCKING CHILD."

Sasuke loved the fact he took on football.

Because his speed was almost up to par with Lee's.

Oh, that kid was going _down_.

* * *

Lee screamed like a little girl, and booked it outside.

He really didn't want to die.

Really.

"Sasuke-san, you look very attractive with chocolate all over your face. I'm sure your significant other would very much approve."

That hole was just getting deeper and deeper...

* * *

_That _only fueled Sasuke's anger and his speed picked up.

Seconds later, he lunged towards Lee and tackled him to the ground.

"You," he hissed, pinning him to the ground and gripping his arms behind him, "Are _dead_."

"EEEEEEK!" Lee was _screeching_.

Sasuke had a malevolent grin on his lips.

* * *

Gaara, looking bored, pulled Sasuke off of Lee.

Really.

"I'm going to kill you _both_," Gaara muttered acidly, and dragged them back inside.

Yeah.

That was what he put up with.

(Wouldn't you be a little bit grumpy, too?)

Kiba, on the couch, failed to restrain his laughter.

Lee cried more tears of joy.

Gaara was tempted to push them all in a food processor. The day went on.

* * *

Sasuke removed his shirt and wiped the chocolate off his face, with it.

Muttering obscenities under his breath, he stalked out of the living room and to what was "his" room for his stay.

He hated everyone.

* * *

Gaara looked at Kiba. "Your turn," was all he said.

Kiba muttered ungratefully, and followed Sasuke.

...

Kiba just stared at the stupid idiot who was basically his oldest friend. "You are _such_ a douche."

Sasuke just smirked in that Sasuke way of his that just made Kiba want to snort. "Yeah, I know."

"You ready to go home, yet?"

"Shut the fuck up."

It was quiet for a moment, then. Kiba shrugged, and jerked his head. "I'll take that as a yes. I'm ready to go. I should probably go see mom now, anyways."

Sasuke just shrugged back, and nodded, too. It was probably going to be a painful day, and Kiba knew that. Sasuke was brutally honest at best, and Kiba knew he was royally fucked up at worst. So it was probably better to just get this whole stupid thing over with now; he didn't want to drag it (it, being the conversation, the car ride, the whole damn day) out any more.

It would just be a bitch, anyways.

* * *

Sasuke followed him back into Gaara and Lee's living room.

He'd admit it now, because _everyone _knew it; Sasuke, Gaara and Lee weren't the best people to stick under the same roof. For one, Sasuke and Gaara could coexist in the same place for only so long before they were at each other's throat and Lee was _worse _than Naruto and therefore Sasuke would want to murder him within the five minutes of his presence.

(See _The Marshmallow Incidents_ for reference.)

Kiba knew this, Sasuke knew. So it was only a matter of time before they left. And before that happened, Sasuke went to take a leak in the bathroom and went to steal some food to eat. But then again - Sasuke didn't want to go back to Konoha just yet. But who knew what they'd do.

They were too much alike, he reminded himself, so they were bound to end up doing something before they headed back to their hometown.

And things were about to explode.

Things were always about to explode.

Sasuke leaned his back against the counter closest to the fridge, a can of soda in one hand. His eyes turned towards Kiba and his eyebrow raised. "So. Did you think much?"

"Maybe," Kiba met his stare head on. "Did you?"

"No."

"Then you're more of a fuck up than I am, idiot."

Sasuke raised both his eyebrows at this and stared. "Oh? Is that so."

"Dude, we've been here for two weeks. You not thinking is like Dead-Last not eating ramen, so stop shitting me. Go talk to Sayuri - Suki - ...whatever the fuck her name is."

He snorted and rolled his eyes, setting the can on the counter. "Don't be stupid. You telling me that is like me telling you to really figure out if what you saw was real or not."

Kiba stared at him, but not really stared at him at all. "She fucked up my heart and my head and everything. I probably overreacted. I - miss her. I think. I dunno. Can I go back to telling you you're a douche, now?"

Sasuke smirked. "You're an _idiot_, Mutt."

* * *

"And you're a douche-bag."

They just looked at each other.

Kiba gritted his teeth. "Look, we _both_ fucked up. I can't even think about her _name_, let alone what actually _happened_. And I'm pretty sure Sakura's just as fucked up about this whole thing as you are. Christ, what the fuck am I talking about...?"

"I don't want to think about this. I'm done with it." Sasuke paused, and shook his head. "We're idiots. But fuck... It's too late. For me at least - that Ino-chick really likes you tho'. Maybe you can still get her back."

"..._You're_ done with this. What the fuck. You goddamn coward."

"_You_ brought leaving Konoha up, and _I'm_ the coward?"

"Yes!" Kiba snarled. "I left because I _couldn't_ be there, because everything was _Ino_ and I couldn't _stand_ it. And I never said I _wasn't_ a fucking coward, because I _am_. And you left, too, and you won't even fucking admit you're as much as a coward as I am. You sat around and fucking moped. And that's _lame_, dude. Did you even ask for her side of the story?"

"_Did you ask for hers?_" Sasuke roared. Kiba was amused in a very far-away world; it was rare that Sasuke raised his voice. "Did you listen to her? I bet you didn't! I bet you left! Like you always do. You turned around and fuckin' _left_!"

Kiba's face turned ashen, and his voice turned very, very quiet. He had never wanted to say this. "Did _you_ see Sakura kiss someone else? No. You heard it from your _gay cousin_. I thought I saw _my_ girlfriend making out with _your_ brother."

Sasuke just stared at him, disbelief written clear on his features. "Were you used as a rebound? Was this the first time you actually thought you were going to stay with a single girl, and you end up finding out she's your _gay cousin's_ girlfriend?"

"Did you ever actually talk to her after that? Did you _ask_ her if she was using you as a rebound? I _talked_ to Ino, dude, and fuck if it still doesn't hurt to say her name. But I _spoke_ to her, so don't you fucking talk."

"You talked to her. Really. And said what? "You filthy whore"? You talked to her - or did you _bitch_ at her? I don't need to talk to Sakura about what the fuck she was doing - Sai is everything but a liar."

"I only called her a whore after I kissed her. And I think I was calling myself more a whore then I was calling _her_ a whore. And, dude, Sai's been lying to you about _everything_ since _second grade_." Kiba paused, and then tried a sort-of compromise. "I'll talk to my crazy girl if you talk to yours. Because I'm not doing this on my own, you fucker."

Sasuke glared. "Look. I'm not going to talk to her. Nothing you say, none of your bitching is going to change that. I'm done with it. It was nothing - it was a game."

"_NO_. For _fuck's sake_, dude, you're practically my best friend, and this is just _not fucking cool_. If you fucking care about her _at fucking all_, you're going to fucking talk to her. I'm probably going to have whatever the hell is left of my heart broken, and you know what? I'm fucking okay with that, because then I'll at least know what went the fuck down. You'll never know. And you're a fucking coward for it."

"Then let me be a coward! Just leave me alone. I don't want to do this - I don't know _how_ to do this. So I'll just leave it at that. Just... Shut up, Kiba, for fuck's sake."

The two boys-almost-men glared at each other, jerky movements bristling with anger. And then something dawned on Kiba, and a sort of understanding crossed his face. Kiba dropped his tone to about an octave lower then normal, and very, very soft.

"...Are you really that fucking scared she didn't actually care at all? Even after everything?"

Sasuke utterly _froze_. Kiba could see that it was taking his old friend all of his will not to run, right then. "..._Yes_."

Kiba almost smiled a wry smile. "You think I'm not?"

Sasuke looked frazzled. "You and me are different, Kiba. How many girls have _you_ had? And how many have _I_? This shit is new for me - you can probably turn around and forget about it... Maybe not with this Ino-girl... But you can."

"I'm in love with Ino." Kiba paused, and looked stricken. "And I can't forget that. Believe me, I've tried."

"Exactly. I don't love Sakura."

"Then why are you so damn scared she didn't care?"

"..."

"You at least felt _something_ for her. Don't - oh, fuck me sideways, I'm going to sound exactly like my mother - don't sell yourself short. What if she's as fucking messed up over this whole thing as you are? What if she's hurting just as bad?"

Sasuke remained silent.

Kiba sighed, and was tempted to rub his temples. Sasuke was so fucking _stupid_, sometimes. He took a deep breath. Now, the question was: how did he phrase what he was trying to say so that it shut Sasuke up? "Okay. Here's what we'll do. We'll go back. And we'll talk to those crazy bitches. And if one or both of us gets ... fuck, I don't even want to think it, _rejected_, we'll get a transfer back here together, okay?"

Sasuke looked distant, even as he sighed. "Why does this even matter at all. She's just a girl, Kiba... Just a girl..."

"A girl you actually care about. How long's it been since that's happened? Don't fucking do this to yourself, Sasuke. _Please_."

"Whatever."

"Took you long enough to agree, douche. Let's go. We're getting this shit done _today_."

"How annoying."

"I love you, too, man."

* * *

Gaara and Lee, in the other room, shrugged at each other.

And then Lee tackled Gaara to the ground, and that was the end of any and all introspection.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Karin's throat was tight.

There was a car outside. There was a car _outside_. There was a _car_ outside. _There was a **car outside**_.

Well. There were three, no, four, possibilities about who that car could belong to:

Mother (highly unlikely. She was still in Iwa. ...Iwa. Maybe that was a good idea. Iwa...).  
Father (even more unlikely then Mother. No comment).  
Suigetsu (in some way, shape, or form. Also highly unlikely. But more likely then Mother or Father.)  
InoSakuraHinataTenten (super, super, SUPER likely.)

Karin peeked out through the window, and looked down at the driveway.

She didn't recognize the car, but that head of sunny blond spikes was unmistakable. That was Naruto.

And if Naruto was there...

Karin gulped.

No, no, _no_, she _didn't_ want to see him. She _didn't_.

But that didn't stop her from grabbing a housecoat, wrapping it around herself, slipping her feet into a pair of ratty, fluffly pink slippers, and heading downstairs. She'd just wait, to see if they knocked, because - because - because she didn't know why.

Karin sighed, and waited quietly at the door.

* * *

Naruto grunted in slight anger as he used all the force/muscles/strength in his arms to help Suigetsu up the steps of Karin's front porch.

"C'mon, Suigetsu, lift your feet up, for god's sake," he grumbled, losing his temper for a second and actually lifting the younger male up and off the ground until he was at the top. Blowing some of his blond hair out of his eyes, he dragged Suigetsu towards the door.

"Compose yourself, man," he sneered.

Suigetsu smirked, "Shut up, m-man. I'm... Yeah..."

Glaring, almost, Naruto knocked on the hard surface of the door. "You sure about this, man?"

"Yeaaaaah."

Naruto sighed and gave a curt nod. His hands tightened around the grip of his friend's shirt to keep him steady.

* * *

The bell rang.

Karin stood, with her hand on the doorknob, and took a deep breath of air into her lungs, filling herself up with courage. She was going to need it. The bell rang yet again. She closed her eyes, and opened the door.

And was confronted with a very, very, _very_ drunk Suigetsu, and an equally very, very, _very_ worried Naruto.

"Uh. Hi," she managed to get out.

Naruto stood there, shuffling his weight from foot to foot, awkwardness incarnate. "Hi."

"Uhm. What are you doing here?"

"Suigetsu wanted to see you," Naruto said. He looked a little helpless.

"And you let him," Karin stated (because it wasn't a question. It didn't have a questioning inflection on it because - because it didn't). She wasn't sure if she was shocked or insulted or just plain hurt - did Naruto _actually_ not know what was going on? Did he not _know_? Because, after a day like today, to bring the objects of Karin's pain in such close quarters... that was - that was _cruel_.

And Karin didn't like cruel things.

(She was going to have to warn Hinata. God.)

Naruto shrugged wide shoulders. "If he wants to see you, it has to mean something."

Karin pressed her lips together into a thin, white line. "...Get him inside, it's freezing out there. How much did he have to drink?"

Naruto dragged Suigetsu across the threshold, grunting as he tugged him through the doorjamb. Karin winced. Naruto's voice was dry as he said "A little _too_ much. Where do you want me to take him?"

"Erm," Karin bit her lip, resolutely avoiding Suigetsu's alcohol-influenced gaze. She heaved a sigh. "Erm, put him on the couch. Just in the family room, just over - yeah, in there."

"Alrighty, then," Naruto said, and half-dragged, half-carried Suigetsu in the direction Karin had indicated. Karin followed the two men-almost-boys, and watched as Naruto dumped Suigetsu in a pile of limbs on the nearest couch (it was Karin's mother's favourite; white leather).

Everything was quiet, for a moment.

Karin waited for Naruto to say something.

Cricket. Cricket.

"...What am _I_ supposed to do with him?" Karin finally asked.

"Up to you, I guess," Naruto simply said.

Karin's eyes narrowed. "That's kind of rude."

"Look, as much as I'd like to help out, I can't. I'm not part of the relationship and though Suigetsu's one of my best friends, I have no right to step in. So do what you want because you two obviously screwed each other over for reasons I'm not even sure of. Goodnight, Karin." Naruto dusted his hands off, turned around.

And then left.

Karin steamed.

Jerk.

But then she looked down at Suigetsu -close to passing out on her couch-, and the fight drained away. Karin ran to the kitchen, grabbed a chair, and set it up in front of him. She sat down, and just looked at him, for a moment.

"You are _hopeless_," she mumbled to him.

And then his fingers tangled in her hair, and Karin restrained the urge to shriek in surprise. It took more effort then she cared to admit, and when she managed to find the strength that words required, her voice was a tiny sound in the empty room. "Why are you doing that?"

"'Miss you," he muttered.

Karin didn't know why she was whispering; it just seemed right. "We tried this earlier, Sui. It didn't work, remember?"

"Doe'n't matter..."

"Then what _does_?" Karin asked.

"You... And me... Us..."

_Us_, Karin thought, sad. _No such thing_. She chuckled softly, and tried to restrain the bitter edge. "Heh. You're drunk, Sui. You'll go back to hating me in the morning."

"..._What_...?"

"You heard me," Karin continued to whisper. He was going to have a killer hangover in the morning. "But it - it doesn't matter. Go to sleep, Sui."

"No, wh-what the fuck?" He paused, and tried to sit up. Karin's hand shot out automatically, to steady him. He looked... drunk. He looked drunk. "What the hell makes you... think I hate you?"

Karin just smiled a weird smile. "I don't blame you for it, or anything."

"I don' hate you, Toots," he grumbled, and yanked her down towards him.

Karin landed half on his chest, face an inch away from his, her knees clacking against the floor. _That_ was going to hurt in the morning. Then again, what _didn't_ hurt in the morning, when it came to Suigetsu? "Uh-huh. Sure."

"Karin, for fuck's sake. Why d'you always co-contradict everythin' I say?"

"...It doesn't matter. Go to sleep," she was going to bite through her lip, at this rate.

"NO! Fuck! Stop tellin' me what to do! I already know what I want!"

Karin sighed. "Okay, you know, you know. Just - sleep is good, y'know?"

"I'on care... It's not what I want."

"Then what _do_ you want?" and Karin felt like they were talking circles around each other, but she'd never been very good at that.

"You."

Karin thought that he was the cheesiest liar she had ever met. Not only that - he was the cheesiest _drunken_ liar she'd ever met. And Karin knew Suigetsu, and she knew that he _wouldn't_ remember it - and she _didn't_ want to put herself through that. Not again.

It was better to ignore his drunken jabber, anyway. Karin stood up. "C'mon," she said, "let's go upstairs. I'll find you some clean pajamas, or something..."

Suigetsu snatched at her wrist. "Karin."

"What?"

Karin went momentarily brain dead and her heart stuttered-like-Hinata-used-to in her chest, as he tugged her down again, and kissed her.

"...You have to stop kissing me, Sui. We're not together anymore, remember? Actually, that kind of implies we were together at some point, but..."

"Karin. Would you just fuckin' let me prove to you I'on hate you?"

She couldn't - do this, right now. Karin just couldn't. "Okay. You don't hate me. That's fine. It's still over. It's still done."

"So?"

"So, nothing." (_He's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, he'sdrunkhe'sdrunkhe'sdrunk... oh, by the way, you're obsessing again. **Stupid**._)

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry if I hurt you... I'm sorry for makin' you cry..." Suigetsu mumbled.

There was a tear in the pit of Karin's eye. She ignored it, and shook her head. "It's okay. It doesn't matter anymore."

"It matters to _me_," he all but snarled.

"I know, but-" she broke off, and sighed again. How many times had she sighed, tonight? How many more times would she sigh, before the night was over, and this was all just part of some unpleasant memory? "-never mind. Let's get you to bed."

"No."

Karin fought not to clench her jaw. "..._I'm_ going to bed. Let me go, please."

"No."

"Suigetsu. Stop making my life harder then it needs to be."

"It's hard be'cuz you make it hard."

"No," she said softly, tired. "It's hard, because in the morning, you're going to freak, and I don't want that. So just - lemme go, okay?"

"I'm not gunna freak. 'Coz in the mornin', I'll be with you and you can make me grilled cheese. Like you always do."

Karin gulped.

"Sui, in the morning, you're going to remember that our best friends broke each other's hearts, and that we sided with those respective friends. In the morning, _none_ of this is going to matter. Nothing you or I can say will change that."

"Karin... Kiba is Kiba. Ino is Ino. Just like Karin is Karin. And 'Getsu is 'Getsu."

"I know," Karin mumbled, strands of red in her face. "And that's why it's never going to work."

He grumbled something incoherent under his breath, and Karin could almost _taste_ the alcohol. How much had he had, again? "We're four different people, Karin... We don' need to suffer from their mistakes..."

Karin tucked white hair away from his face. He was such an idiot. "But we did. And we do."

"So?"

"So we _can't_." He said such stupid things. Karin ignored the way her voice cracked.

He stopped moving, and loosed his grip on her wrist. "Okay, Toots. Whatever you say."

Karin didn't even want to know. "Okay. C'mon. Get up."

"I can do it myself," Suigetsu growled.

She sat back, and watched him try. It would have been funny if the situation hadn't been so pathetic, so painful. "Sure. C'mere."

"Stay away, Karin. You wanna be like that, then _fine_." He tried to get up again, and continued to fail miserably.

Karin glared. "You are - _impossible_! Let me help!"

"No!"

"_Please_!"

"No, Karin!" And now he _was_ snarling.

And she was snarling right back. "Suigetsu, this is _non-negotiable_. You can't even _walk_, let alone _climb stairs_! Put your arm around my shoulders, and let me help you up the stairs! Stop _fighting_!"

"_I'm_ only fighting 'coz _you_ are!"

That was it. Karin snapped her hands up, stood up, and glared down at him. "Fine," she hissed. "_Fine_. I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

And then she flipped her hair over her shoulder, turned around, and walked up stairs. She was going to bed.

And she was _not_ going to care about the inebriated boy downstairs.

He was stupid, anyway.

Karin valiantly fought tears.

* * *

Suigetsu's mind was blank.

There was no other way of putting it.

It was blank.

He was blank.

And there was this funny, fuzzy, tickly buzz going around his body.

But, either way, Suigetsu maintained a frown on his lips and his brow creased as he stood - swaying almost violently. Swallowing, he took one step forwards. Then another. And another. And then he slammed himself against a wall. He grunted and shook his head; with his hands, he pushed himself away from the wall and wobbled his way out through the space that... Was it a door? Ah, he didn't fuckin' know.

Suigetsu's attempts to get... Where was he goin' again?

With hazy, fuzzy, disoriented eyes, he looked around the distorted place and tried to concentrate where the hell the stairs were. Shrugging, he went towards the big rectangular thing that looked like it was about to fall or something... And then the tip of his feet bumped into something and he lost his balance and he fell... Shaking his head, he placed his hands on... He supposed it was a stair.

Either way, he placed his hands on a stair, raised a leg and placed his knee on another stair. Then the other. And this continued until he was crawling up the stairs.

Suigetsu's mind was still blank.

And he wasn't really thinking about anything.

Once he, miraculously, made it up the stairs. He fought his way back up to his feet. And the rest... The rest of his journey was successful out of pure... You know what, he didn't even know. He thought he did, but no... He didn't.

It was beyond him how he made it into Karin's room and how he undid his shoes, took off his shirt and crawled into bed next to her.

And he wanted to wrap his arm around her waist... Really, he did.

But, his blank mind decided to tell him she'd just push him off.

Suigetsu figured his mind, his body, and everything else was just tired of fighting. He supposed he was giving up.

* * *

Karin felt a large, warm figure crawl into bed next to her. She debated between keeping her face where it was (turned firmly away from the other side of the bed, shoved angrily into the pillow), or rolling over, and slipping into his arms.

It had been what felt like forever.

Karin's Very Fast List of Pros and Cons

Cons:  
Ino.  
Ino.  
Tears.  
Ino.  
More tears.  
_**INO**_.

Valid arguments, Karin thought grimly.

Pros:  
Suigetsu.  
Warmth.  
Possibly fixing this mess.  
Suigetsu.  
Home.  
**_SUIGETSU_**.

_Definitely_ valid arguments. _Far_ more valid then anything else.

Karin rolled over.

"Sui...?"

"Hmn...?"

"I'm... sorry..."

"M'kay... Fo'wut...?"

Karin stared at somewhere just past his left ear. "Everything, I guess."

"M'kay, Toots. M'so-rry, too."

"...Go to sleep, 'kay?"

"M'kayyy," but he paused, and seemed on the verge of saying something else. Karin waited, and listened to him mutter. "Dun tell... me... whut t'do..."

Karin fought the urge to giggle. He was _so_ drunk. "It's okay, Sui. We'll talk in the morning. Just... sleep, now. G'night."

Karin felt arms snake around her waist, and she let Suigetsu tug her close to his chest. Karin tucked her head under his chin, and listened to the constant thud of his heart, for a moment. There was something that was curiously reassuring about it.

Suigetsu's nose was buried in her hair, and he was taking long, slow breaths in. "M'kay. 'Uv'you."

A tiny, sweet smile crossed Karin's lips as she closed her eyes.

* * *

Suigetsu only remembered one thing before he passed out, arms tight around her waist.

And it wasn't that, what he remembered.

He was used to having arms wrapped around waists. From the same girl or not, it didn't matter - he was used to it.

But what would forever be engraved in his memory, in his mind - everything, he guess... was the scent. Powerful, alluring, soothing and everything in between.

He remembered expensive perfume, strawberries... and... a slight... metallic tang.

Eyes closed, brain shutting down, he smirked.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Karin woke with a start, the next morning.

There was someone else in bed.

Karin stayed frozen for a minute, and let the previous night come flooding back. Thinking of plane tickets. A very drunk Suigetsu. A very nerve-wracking fight. More stupidity. Tired, so tired. Crawling into bed, exhausted and angry. And then more drunk Suigetsu. And then black, and that was sleep.

And now was the moment(s) of truth.

Suigetsu was still thoroughly passed out.

Karin grinned, and went to make pancakes.

* * *

He had no idea what in the world caused him to wake up.

He had no idea what _time _it was, either.

All that was going through his brain was that his eyelids were too heavy, his mouth was dried and his head was pounding. So when he managed to open his eyes, he was surprised to notice that this wasn't his room.

A guestroom, he supposed. But no. This room looked like lived in.

Suigetsu sat up and ran a hand through his hair. It was tangled and a complete mess.

He got off the bed and lightly swayed, eyes narrowed as he tried to concentrate. The room looked familiar, he'd give it that; and he probably knew who it belonged to - he was just not thinking straight. Not right now, at least. So he walked out of the room, shirtless and barefoot. Down the hall and down the stairs.

The scent of pancakes and food in general met his nose.

Suigetsu, groaned and rubbed his stomach.

He wanted ice, cold water.

So he entered the kitchen and mildly froze when his eyes landed on Karin.

* * *

Karin could hear the fool coming down the stairs - he sucked at not making noise. But like that was anything new, he _was_ Suigetsu; noise was what he did best.

Karin stretched, and pushed her glasses up her nose with the back of her hand, careful not to get pancake batter on the lenses. "Morning," she said.

"Mhjsm."

Karin seriously didn't even understand how he thought that she'd understand something like that. "Good job on being coherent, there, Sui."

He made a sound at the back of his throat that could almost pass for a groan, and Karin wondered how bad his hangover was - it didn't really matter, because he _did_ kind of deserve it (he was such an idiot, _such_ an idiot).

"Mmmmmmm. Pills..." he muttered, and Karin watched him root around in the cabinet.

Karin stared, deadpan. "What are you doing?"

"Lookin' for some Tylenol or some'in'."

Ohhh, yeah, definitely his hangover. Karin refrained from smirking like a twelve-year-old. "How much did you drink last night?"

"Don't remember."

Karin stared some more, red hair in her eyes. So. Hangover, induced by the imbibing of large amounts of alcohol. Showing up at ex-(something; Karin's wasn't going to label what they were, because it was impossible to name, impossible to not cheapen it)'s house at ungodly hours of the night, pissed drunk. And now, pleasant morning chat.

Karin felt ill.

There was no reason for it - that was just Suigetsu, but, then - "...Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why'd you get so drunk... and then show up here?" Karin clarified.

Suigetsu just looked at the floor; he refused to meet her eyes, and some part of Karin bent, and was reaching towards a snap. "'Coz I'm goin' crazy."

"...I'm confused. What?"

"I needed a break, Karin. My brain's goin' apeshit on me and I needed it to stop. And then when it did..."

Karin liked this thing where she stared. It seemed to make him uncomfortable. "When it did, what?"

The tendons on his neck stood out as he clenched his jaw and shrugged his shoulder. "Jus' let it go, Toots."

Karin's brow furrowed. "I want to know."

His jaw was still clenched, his voice low and rough. He looked away as he spoke. "I don't know, okay? I guess I just missed you. Or somethin'. But I just wanted to see you. God."

And he still wouldn't meet her eyes. Karin waited for a long, long moment. "Oh," she said. She didn't know if that was what she had wanted to hear - actually, she had no idea what she wanted to hear. She just wanted - well, she wanted a lot of things.

Karin went back to whisking the pancake batter, bile in her throat.

* * *

Once Suigetsu found the damn pills, he popped two of them in his mouth and went in search for a glass of water.

When the whole task was over with, he decided he just wanted a place to rest his burning body. A cool place - something to cool his body down. His ice-purple eyes looked around the place and when he caught sight of the island in the middle of the kitchen, Suigetsu smirked.

Without thinking, he threw himself on top of the island and sprawled his limbs, closing his eyes at the amazing coolness that was now being pressed against his body. It felt amazing.

"Karinnnn."

"Yes?" A part of him thought she sounded stiff. Well... Not stiff. More like she didn't know how she should be acting around him. Suigetsu kind of didn't blame her.

They fucked up big time, remember?

"I'm hungry."

"That's why I'm making pancakes, cowboy."

Suigetsu lifted his head up and turned to look at her, a lazy smile finding its way to his lips. "I love it when you call me that."

She turned around to face him, hand with a spatula propped on her hip while the other one gripped the counter. "Uh-huh. Why is it you get a cool nickname, and I get 'Toots', huh? Why is that?"

If they had been in normal terms, or as normal as they'd ever get, he'd gotten off of the island and wrapped his arms around her from behind. But, given that that was his natural reaction, Suigetsu stiffened and gave a smirk to hide it.

"'Coz that's how it goes, _Toots_."

* * *

"You suck. _So much,_" Karin pouted.

"No-," he said, a smirk marring his lips, and Karin shivered, "-not really."

She huffed, and threw red strands of hair out of her face. "You do, too!"

Suigetsu raised an eyebrow, slow, and just looked at her, the smirk still on his lips (_that_ was never good; and there were something to be said for being ignorant. Suigetsu was good at making Karin question things, like ignorance. ... Bastard), and said "Really, now. Well, I _do_ suck... but it's rare when I do that..."

Karin was torn between turning bright, bright red (and punching him and leaving him to his own devices), and just... just... she didn't even know. She didn't have the mental capacity to have that sort of mental spar, this early in the morning.

And it might hurt too much.

So Karin ignored it, and poured the pancake batter into the hot pans on the stove, and just breathed.

(The house felt less empty with him in it. She didn't like it. It made her... _think_ things.

Something like that.)

"What do you want from me, Sui?"

* * *

Suigetsu blinked and instantly his devious look was wiped of his face. He narrowed his eyes slightly and continued to stare at... well, her chest. What the hell did she mean?

"What d'you mean?"

He wasn't stupid. He was slow, at times, yes - but he wasn't stupid. He caught on from the first week he met Karin that she was contradictive, indecisive and just couldn't fuckin' choose. She either read into things too much or too little and she was really breaking his balls. Like, really.

"Stop staring at my tits, and answer the question. What do you want from me?"

Slowly, his eyes rose up to meet hers and he stared at her, impassively. Or as impassively as he could. "And I said 'what d'you mean'."

She shifted her weight from one leg to the other, and looked slightly uncomfortable, really. Suigetsu just stared at her as she said, "I - don't know how else to phrase it. I don't really know why you even stayed. So, what do you want from me? To go back to normal? Or, like, _what_?"

And then he raised an eyebrow. "So you wanted me to leave?"

"No, I never said that."

"Then what _are _you sayin'?" He swallowed and narrowed his eyes. "What do you _want_?"

"I want to stop missing you." She was still staring him in the eye, her teeth worrying at her lower lip. She looked... She looked... God, Suigetsu didn't even know.

"Then stop fightin'," he drawled, slowly, lowly. "And accept that I'm right here."

Softly, she said, "What would you have me do?"

And Suigetsu completely lost it. In a good way. Or bad. Who knew? Not him. "I would have you do... Just... Be Karin, again! Yell at me for no reason! Seduce me into fuckin' you! Tell me that you hate me when we both know you mean somethin' entirely different!"

He slid off the island and walked towards her, slowly.

"Seduce you into fucking me? Excuse me? I did no such thing." Karin looked like she was fighting between narrowing her eyes and looking at him all sultry and... and... Suigetsu was going crazy.

"Don't be like that, Toots," he said, smirking to the point where his little tooth peeked out. "We all know you can't get enough of me."

She scoffed and looked away. "I'm not the one showing up drunk at other people's houses, mister."

"I never denied I can't get enough of _you_. You're the one in denial here." Suigetsu smirked, coming to a complete stop just inches away from her.

"I never denied anything, did I? I just said that I wasn't the one showing up at their ex's house, pissed out of their mind. That was you."

"So what?" He caged her in between his body and the counter. "It got me here, right?"

* * *

Karin looked up at him.

Just looked.

"Yeah," she murmured. "Yeah, I guess."

She sighed, and looped her arms around his waist. It felt like forever since she'd done something like this, since she'd just been close to him. Suigetsu smelled like boy and heat and comfort, and Karin melted into him. "You're so dumb, you know. Or maybe I'm just crazy. I don't know. I just - I don't know. Don't go away anymore."

"Don't let me go away, then. Or, better yet, don't make me," and he made it sound like it was the simplest thing ever.

But it wasn't. "I didn't mean to leave in the first place."

"Just... forget about it, Toots. Just... let it go..." Suigetsu's voice was quiet, his lips brushing the top her head.

It wasn't simple at all. "...What are we gonna tell the others?"

"I don't care right now."

Not simple at all. "Really? Why not?"

* * *

Suigetsu grinned and pulled away a bit, just enough to have her see his smile.

"Coz, in the end, they don't matter when it comes to," he waved a hand around them.

Karin blinked up at him. "To... what?"

"Us, I suppose," Suigetsu murmured, eyebrows scrunched, just barely. "Whatever the hell we are..."

Karin delicately rubbed her nose against his chest and he could feel the smirk on her lips, regardless if she was actually smirking or not - because that was just like her. Push his buttons to the point where he couldn't think straight and he sees white stars everywhere he turns to. "What are we then, huh?"

"I should be askin' you that."

"I don't know," she murmured, "I can't put a name to it. I've tried."

Suigetsu pulled away from her and sighed. "Then fuck it," he said. "We are what we are."

And then he crashed his lips against hers.

* * *

"Oh, no, the _pancakes_!" Karin shrieked, before Suigetsu managed to distract her any more then he already had. She shoved him off, and whipped around, to deal with the burnt smell. And they were burnt - burnt to a crisp on one side, and completely uncooked on the other.

Karin huffed, threw red hair over her should, and spun again, to glare playfully at Suigetsu. "Look at this, they were perfectly good pancakes, and now because you went and were all _distracting_, they're ruined!"

Suigetsu was looking mildly annoyed. "...Well... Who needs pancakes?"

Hands on her hips, Karin stared at him. "I _thought_ you wanted breakfast."

"I do... But that can wait a while."

Her eyes narrowed, and she continued to stare at him (she'd been doing that a lot, lately). "Wait for _what_, pray tell?"

Suigetsu just smirked.

Karin wanted to scream. He was so - so - so _infuriating_! "Oh, oh no - you killed my pancakes, I don't want to kis-!"

"Too bad," he cut her off with a grin.

"Sui-_msupphm_!"

Well, _that_ was certainly an effective method of getting her to shut up...

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

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	38. how to hold hands in the dark

for i am awesomer than the history textbook i should be reading.  
**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to Caroline. to Emily. to Lady Gaga. to sugar. to glitter. to _la vie boheme_.

**les smirks**: so if we can hump dead animals and antelopes then there's no reason a man and another man can't elope.**  
Sara goes**: bitches in tokyo whaaaaat? also: Ludo & milk tea and OMIGOD BOYS ARE LAME.  
**sonya says**: ripping through your world faster than a hurricane. do you think i'm pretty without any makeup on?

* * *

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* * *

"Shit's packed. You ready?"

"Hn."

Kiba raised an eyebrow at Sasuke. Lee was clinging to Gaara's arm and crying like a three-year-old - it happened every time anyone said any goodbye of any sort in Lee's near vicinity. It was funny (which, albeit, was a little bit cruel).

"Peace, dudes. We'll come back and visit during the summer."

Gaara nodded impassively (he was trying to shake Lee off, by this point; it looked like Lee was cutting off the circulation in Gaara's arm), and Lee looked like he was going to cry some more (he seemed to be clinging to the redhead's arm tighter every second. Gaara did not look amused).

Kiba stared at Sasuke. "Aren't ya gonna say 'goodbye'?"

Sasuke glared back. "I suppo-"

"OH, SASUKE-SAN. I SHALL MISS YOU SO! NEXT TIME YOU JOIN US, WE WILL SPAR! MY FLAMES OF YOUTH WILL NEVER BE EXTINGUISHED!"

And then Lee launched himself at Sasuke, sobbing.

Gaara and Kiba both failed miserably at restraining their laughter.

* * *

Sasuke swallowed his good-bye and glared.

Actually, he was torn between kicking Lee's ass one last time, or allowing the idiot to hug him before he left. Since, like, you know, they wouldn't see each other (thank god) until the summer. So, sighing, slumping his shoulders and rolling his eyes upwards, he gave in and awkwardly patted the hyperactive male's back.

"Yeah," he said slowly, "Okay. That's enough Lee... Lee... Get off."

Lee clung harder.

"Lee... Get the fuck off me."

And Lee did no such thing.

Sasuke decided kicking his ass one last time was a good idea.

* * *

As was his custom, Gaara pulled Lee off of Sasuke. He jerked his head in a silent gesture of goodbye. Neither Gaara nor Sasuke had ever been good with words; they were both the action-oriented type of person, not the speech-oriented.

Kiba (who was still trying to hide his mirth) raised a hand in farewell.

"I'm driving," he told Sasuke, and, without further ado, slipped into the driver's seat.

Sasuke's eye twitched. "No, you're not."

"Too bad. I'm already here, dude."

"Sometimes, I wish you'd just magically explode and die." Sasuke looked rather murderous as he sat in the passenger seat.

Kiba stared at him blankly from the driver's seat. "Sometimes, I wish you'd just grow a pair, and stop being such a bitch."

"Clearly you're still in denial. _You_ of all people should know I have a pair."

"Well, I'm actually not sure, because you always take it from behind..." Kiba told him, coolly, as he snapped the seatbelt into place. Sasuke was the crazy driver, but Kiba really didn't want to die, either. Dying would suck.

"_I_ take it from behind? You're fucking delusional. You're the one that's always on his knees; we've been through this before."

"I'm not delusion. You're just blind."

"I'm not blin-Would you _drive_ already?" Sasuke snapped. Kiba snickered to himself (_who wins? Oh yes, **Kiba** wins. Like **always**_), and yelled out the window (with little or no regard for Sasuke's delicate ears) "LATER, GUYS!"

Suna was behind them, and Lee waved until they were out of sight.

* * *

Sasuke was quiet, as they drove towards the highway.

He didn't have much to say, he supposed. That, and he couldn't really stop his mind from racing and producing words at maximum speed until everything was coming out mushed and incoherent and he was _confusing _himself. And that fucking pissed him off.

Like.

Seriously.

What was he going to say to Sakura.

_When_ would he say something-

_How wo_uld he say it?

He didn't fucking know. This was one of those things that fell into the "Easier Said Than done" category. Because it was fucking easy listening to Kiba say they were going to talk to those girls. But it was fucking hard as hell getting the task done.

And Sakura was/had been his... his...

Well, she had been his _Something_ and he _knew _- he _knew_! - she was a very stubborn girl. She wouldn't want to listen, he figured. And with her stubbornness came _his _temper and everything was going to go wrong. Fuck it.

Sasuke glared at the dashboard and frowned. He hated everything.

* * *

Kiba shot a glance out of the corner of his eye, at Sasuke.

Sasuke had a cloud on his face.

Like _that_ was anything new.

"So what're you gonna tell her?"

_Glare_. "...I don't _know_. Back off."

Kiba laughed. Sasuke was too easy to rile up. Then again, Kiba thought, sobering, he himself was no better. Really. "Tell your mom I'm sorry if I break your brother's nose."

Sasuke's eyeball twitched. "Nah, I'll do it."

Kiba kept his eyes on the road. "What, you'll tell her, or you'll break his nose?"

"I'm going to break his face."

"Your mom is going to kill you," Kiba said without inflection. It was true; Mikoto _would_ kill Sasuke, because Mikoto discouraged (_"discouraged"... that was an understatement_, Kiba thought, deadpan. Mikoto wielded violence and terror to keep her children in line) her offspring from fighting.

"I don't care," was all that Sasuke muttered grumpily.

Kiba let out a bark of laughter. "And _I'm_ the stupid loyal one?"

"Shut up, I never said I was doing it for _you_."

Kiba smirked. "Sure you aren't, douche."

"Shut up and drive."

Kiba just shook his head to himself, smirked some more, and stepped on the gas.

He had a girl to go see.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Ino took a deep breath and smiled at herself in the mirror.

She was looking a little more like herself, now. Days of finally going out and interacting and smiling and laughing and... She was feeling better. Just a bit better. Now, dressed up to par to how Ino should always look - "beautiful" - hair brushed back into a low braid and face finally looking more livelier with makeup, Ino gave herself another cracked smile.

She was going to go talk to Kiba.

It had to be done.

It had to. She either wanted this whole thing squashed, or watered to give it one more chance.

And the only way this was going to work was by being the adult (funny, how he's older) and going to go see him. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle it, she wasn't sure what was waiting for her but... It _had to be done_.

And she was going to slap him for calling her a whore.

That was for sure.

And maybe punch him for not _letting her explain_. The whole point was that today, Ino was going to address her problems and put an end to them all.

Because Ino wanted to live and be happy and have regrets, yes, but regrets that won't eat her alive. And this regret - this problem - was gnawing her from the inside out until she was sure she'd disappear one day. And Ino didn't want to disappear just yet! She still hadn't left her mark on the world.

Sighing, she stared at herself one last time and exited her bathroom. In her room, she grabbed her cellphone and her car-keys and nervously walked out of the room.

She was going to do it.

* * *

Hana sighed.

Her little brother was _so_ fucking stupid.

Actually, _so_ many people were _so_ fucking stupid.

Itachi, for one. He'd redeemed himself, at the very least; Hana had received a very screechy phone call (that had lasted all of three minutes) from Shisui, informing her that _"ITACHI GOT A BRAIN, HANA, HE GOT A BRAIN!_"

It would have been more welcome had it not been at 3AM, and had Hana not been sleeping. Hana had promptly told Shisui that if she wanted to live, she would _never_ call at this hour _again_ for something this _trivial_. Hana didn't fall back asleep right away, of course, after she'd hung up; she lay on her bed, stared at the ceiling, and smiled a little for the first time in a week. It was good, that Shisui was happy.

What was _not_ good, however, was her little brother.

He'd still not called, and not informed them of any plans to return.

Hana wasn't worried, not really; Kiba was like a puppy, that way. He always came back. But he was with Sasuke, and while Hana figured, _eh, if they wanted to cross swords, let 'em_, she was a little bit annoyed that he hadn't even explained why he'd left in the first place.

The one time they _had_ spoken, he hadn't had any plans to return.

Hana had had the feeling that he'd been thinking of transferring to Suna for good.

...

People were _so_ fucking stupid.

* * *

During the drive, Ino was freaking out.

Like, her freaking out was so evident that even the music (Lady Gaga) was low and she was talking to herself and flailing an arm all over the air and her blue eyes were wide and it was _horrible_.

She... She never thought about Kiba's mother or sister not liking her! What if Kiba invited her in so they could talk and his mother and sister were there and they'd _hate _her? Oh god, Ino couldn't - wouldn't be able to deal with that! It was driving her _mad_.

She drummed her fingernails on the steering wheel, teeth worrying her lower lip.

This was not good.

This was not _pretty_.

Not pretty _at all_.

Once the light turned green, Ino drove. But it wasn't her usual speedy driving, it was slow and almost hesitant...

Oh, gosh, she hoped she never got there.

And this went on for the rest of the drive, with Ino randomly screeching "AHHH!" or squealing an "EEEEEK!" because she'd freak herself out.

When she parked a few feet away from Kiba's house, Ino figured it had been too soon. Sighing and deciding she needed to grow some tits (the Karin in her head snickered), Ino pocketed her keys and made her way to the front door.

* * *

Hana started at the _dooooooong_ of the doorbell.

She jumped, shocked to wakefullness, and stood up. She walked to the door, and pulled it open.

And blinked down at some blonde chick. "Er, hi...?"

"...Um... H-hi," the girl said. She was staring at somewhere around Hana's stomach, determinedly avoiding her eyes.

Hana squinted at the girl. "Have we... met?"

"Um... No... I-I'm... Ino..."

The poor girl looked nervous. Very, very nervous. Hana tucked a stray strand of brown hair that had escaped her long braid behind her ear, and smiled encouragingly at the blonde - Ino? "Well, I'm Hana. Who are you are looking for?"

Ino bit her lip. "Um, is Kiba... home? I need to talk to him..."

Hana tipped her head to one side, brown eyes considering. The girl looked so very, very sad; and there was that look in her eyes, the one that girls sometimes got about Hana's brother (uhm, _ew_, she could not even _begin_ to understand what they saw in him). It was that sad, sad look that made Hana say "...No, sorry, sweetie, he's not. He's been gone for two weeks. You wouldn't happen to know why, would you?"

Ino looked like she was about to cry. Her voice shook when she spoke. "Um... I... I'm probably the reason why."

Hana crinkled her eyebrows. Oh no. Oh, _no_. She was going to _kill_ Kiba; she'd _told_ him to stop breaking girls' hearts, that _little bitch_! "Do you want to come in and talk about it?"

The blonde girl shook her head and smiled a watery smile. "It wouldn't make a difference, anymore, anyway," she said, so softly that Hana almost didn't catch it.

"Are you sure? My little brother's stupid."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Thank you."

Hana had a feeling there was much, much, _much_ more to the story than Ino was letting on. "Oh-kay then. I'd let you know when he gets back, but... I don't know if he is coming back."

"...O-oh...T-thank yo-u. I... I have to go now, bye."

And with that, Ino turned, and fled.

Yeah, _definitely_ more to the story then Ino let on.

Hana sighed, and closed the door.

* * *

Ino did the sole thing that she had once thought was stupid.

The sole thing she thought only people like Karin and Tenten would do.

She fled.

She ran away - hightailed right on out of there.

And she cried.

* * *

.

* * *

Kurenai was _not_ expecting anyone to come into the studio, that day.

Karin had been MIA for two weeks, and Ino had been gone even longer (no, she was _not_ happy about it; actually she kind of wanted to strangle them both, because she'd had to teach all their classes, and it had been _awful_, and Kurenai was reminded of why she only personally took a few students a year).

So to see Ino rush in, all baggy dance pants and messy blonde hair, was a shock.

When Kurenai went to say something, Ino just flapped her hand, and rushed to Dance Room 2.

Kurenai said nothing, and quietly put the _Occupied_ sign on the door.

* * *

.

* * *

Kiba dropped Sasuke off in the middle of the day; the drive home had taken the full three hours

"Later, dude."

Sasuke jerked his head in acknowledgement. Kiba waited until he got all of his shit out of the trunk, flipped him off, and disappeared inside his house. Kiba chuckled, and then looked grim.

Where would his little Ino-bird be?

Dancing? Shopping? Having the time of her life?

No, dancing.

Ino would be dancing.

Kiba's fists clenched around the steering wheel, and he hit the gas.

* * *

.

* * *

(_Ohh, this is it, I am really gone this time  
Ohh, never once thought I'd be in pieces left behind)_

Ino's nostrils flared; red because Ino's nose always turned Rudolph-red when she cried. This was it. This was the end – after this she was going to forget about him and what they had and everything. Because this was it. He wasn't coming back – his sister… Hana… she'd said he was gone. He'd been gone and…

…He was gone. And he wasn't coming back.

With her eyes still closed, she puckered her lips and spun around – once, twice, thrice. Again and again and again.

(_I'm dancing with tears in my eyes  
Just fighting to get through the night  
I'm losing it (losing it, losing it)  
With every move I die)_

Did anyone see her?

Did anyone see her dancing?

Did anyone see her dancing with tears all these tears in her eyes?

Spin, spin, spin, spin – don't stop, the world might catch you. Spin, spin, spin. _Spin, Ino, spin. Don't stop, don't stop._

One drop after another and the tears leaked out. Down her flushed cheeks, down, down. Leaving a trail; one after the other.

_(I'm faded, I'm broken inside  
I've wasted, the love of my life  
I'm losing it (losing it, losing it)  
With every move I die)_

Spin, spin, spin, spin.

And then she stopped, eyes closed, tears dropping, Rudolph-red nose flaring, lips trembling.

…Did anyone see her?

* * *

Kiba stood in the threshold of the door way, and watched Ino dance. He was entirely dumbstruck.

She was totally lost, her eyes closed, tears making their way down her cheeks.

It was the hardest thing he had ever had to watch, in his entire life. It was so raw, so full of pain, that it almost _hurt_ to watch her. She was shaking, moving like a dream, liquid grace, barely breathing, her arms trembling as she held them aloft. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his entire life.

The room was silent as the music died, and she froze in place, holding a position that was, for most people, anatomically impossible. She didn't move. And neither did he. God, she didn't know that he was here, and it took every ounce of of self-control Kiba possessed not to grab and kiss her senseless.

Instead, he managed to choke out "God, I missed you, kiddo."

* * *

Ino's jaw tensed. No, she did not open her eyes - she didn't want to... She couldn't.

It took every fiber of her being to keep composed, to not shake. Not to fall to the ground. Nothing. She was going to stand there, see how long she could hold her pose; and try to make the tears stop spilling. But they were they had their own power and they continued to fall and spill and god, did Ino hate it.

Slowly, she lowered her arms back to her sides and eased her feet so that she wasn't balancing herself on her toes anymore. But never did she dare open her eyes. Because then, if she did, she'd see him and she'd lose control. And either way, right now she was still deciding how she should feel.

She wanted to... hug him. Maybe even kiss him.

But at the same time she wanted him to leave.

But the thought of him leaving made it hard to breathe.

Biting her lower lip, she did what she had sworn she wouldn't do - opened her eyes and captured him in her stare.

It felt like she was inside a portrait; neither of them were moving, just staring - were they even breathing?

* * *

She wasn't - wasn't moving.

Wasn't even _breathing_.

And that probably was not a good sign. Kiba just stood there, leaning against the doorframe, and stared at her trembling limbs. God, she looked exhausted - when had she last slept? And she looked like she'd lost weight - were those her ribs?

Kiba hated himself. And was kind of pissed that he'd even let them get into this situation. Anger was a comforting fizz underneath his skin; anger at the world, anger at himself, anger at Itachi and just _everything_. But not at her. Never at her. Hell, he didn't even think he knew _how_ to be angry at her.

His fists clenched. He remembered the last time he had been angry, and she had been involved. He was trying to repress that memory.

It had been the last time he had touched her skin, too.

He didn't want to repress that memory.

* * *

Ino licked her chapped lips and flared her nostrils.

"What?" she hissed through her teeth. "Are you here to call me a whore again? Slut, maybe? Oh, maybe I'm going to be called an easy lay now. Well?"

She watched him flinch with every word, but Ino didn't care. And if she did, she was trying really hard to hide it.

"Well? Speak up," and she hated how her voice cracked at the end.

* * *

Kiba clenched his teeth, and willed himself not to lose it right then and there. Okay, he more then deserved that. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "I just - just came to say... fuck it, I just came to say sorry."

He bit the inside of his mouth, and wouldn't meet her eyes. Jeezus, he didn't even deserve to breathe the same _air_ that she did.

He couldn't breathe. Again.

"And... yeah, just - just sorry. And you obviously don't want - to see me. So I'll just... go. I won't - won't be around."

"_Won't be around to hurt you anymore. Promise. I'm sick of hurting you_" hung in the air, unspoken. His jaw was still clenched, and he slowly turned to leave. His knuckles were white as snow against the door-frame.

God, it fucking _hurt_. He didn't think it was going to _hurt_ this much.

* * *

She bit at her lip and raised an eyebrow, "Oh?" She twirled a lock of her hair, looking down at it so he wouldn't see her new tears. Not that he would, anyway - he was making it a point to not look at her. God, how disgusted was he with her. He was just probably back to pick up the last of his things, apologize to her so that he bury what they had and live a normal life.

"You're leaving," she whispered. It was like a sob and a whisper, "You're leaving again..."

Ino looked up at him, smiling softly, even as her tears spilled. Faster, now. They were falling down faster because she was... "O-okay..."

She took a step forward and then refrained. He hated her, right?

"O-okay," she sobbed.

* * *

Kiba whirled around, and was in front of her, two seconds, flat.

She was supposed to be _happy_. He wasn't supposed to make her cry. Not anymore.

Desperation hit him hard in the stomach. "Please don't cry, oh, fucking christ, Ino, you know I can't stand it when you cry, please stop - I'll go away, you won't have to see me anymore, I swear to god I'll stay away if it's what you want. Just please, _please_ stop crying, please, it _kills_ me to see you cry..."

He was less then an inch away from her - and he still hadn't touched her.

Kiba knew he'd break, if he touched her. Because he couldn't say no. Not to her. If she asked him to leave, he'd go in a heartbeat - be gone forever. But if he touched her... god, he'd be selfish. And she deserved so much damn better, it made him physically ill.

But, god, getting rid of those damn tears... He had to.

He reached a shaking hand, and crossed the tiny amount of distance between them, and touched one of the glimmering tears on her cheeks.

"Please stop crying. _Please_, Ino."

* * *

"Then don't leave me," she sobbed, throwing her arms around him, "Please... Don't leave me. Don't leave me again."

She held on tightly, her arms around his neck, her face hidden on his chest as she sobbed. Violently - she was sobbing violently. But... she couldn't help it because... He was going to leave her again. He was gonna do it. And it... didn't he see how much it hurt her?

It was like her mother leaving her all over again.

Only this time, Ino was positive she wasn't going to heal.

Because Kiba meant more to her than that woman ever did. And... Oh god, he just could't leave her. He couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't!

And why wasn't he touching her? Why wasn't he saying anything? Why... Why, why, whywhywhy?

She pulled back, grasping either of his cheeks with her hands and willed him to look at her in the eyes. She was still crying but it was okay. She stared at him, puffy red eyes drinking him in as if it were the last time she'd ever see him. And it probably was.

"Don't leave," she whispered, "Please..."

* * *

She was pressed against him. Everything _fit_.

Kiba could only breathe in the scent of her skin, and wrap his arms around her. She was _real_. She was _alive_. He _wasn't fucking dreaming_ (because he had dreamed this so many times - but every time he did, when he finally touched her [and he always, always did], she would disappear. And it would hurt. And he would wake up feeling like shit. Being away from her had hurt).

He held her close, and growled in her ear "How can you even want me around? I'm such a - such a fucking douche bag."

He wondered if she had hated herself as much as he had hated himself; the responding influx of tears told him she had. God, how had he even ever let her out of his _sight_? Kiba tucked her head under his chin. He wasn't planning on letting go of her any time in the near future, and if that meant he had to chain himself to her, he would.

She didn't want him to _leave_. But _fuck,_ if she didn't deserve better.

Maybe -later-, when she was thinking straight, she'd want him to leave (it was going to happen, he just knew it - she _deserved_ to break him; it was only fair), and he would. He had fucked up. And he was going to regret it for the rest of his life.

But right at that second, the only thing he could think about was that she was _right in front of him_, and that she was clinging to him like a lifeline, and that - it had been _so fucking long_ since he'd kissed her.

* * *

Ino smiled a watery smile, "Because you're Kiba. And I told you, you have my heart. And... I love you."

She pulled away from him, and her eyes danced as they scrutinized him; they came to a stop on his lips. And Ino remembered how amazing his lips felt against hers. And she also remembered how long it had been since the last time he had kissed her.

And suddenly, she was longing for him.

For a kiss.

For a hug.

For anything that had to do with him and her.

She decided then that she wasn't going to let him leave her. Never again. Never.

Because he was hers - she was going to be selfish. She had long ago claimed him - and he had been alright with it. He was hers and Ino wasn't going to allow him to ever leave her alone again. Because that hurt. A lot. It was like getting surgery without any anesthetics. It was like a fat kid getting his cupcake stolen. It was like SpongeBob losing Patrick as a friend. It was like walking through hell. Like walking down a road filled with needles, ready to prick her.

Ino's eyes fluttered closed... and she pressed her lips to his.

* * *

Kiba groaned against Ino's mouth. He pulled her as close as he literally could - he wanted to be _inside_ her body, so close that they were the same person. He just wanted to be able to touch her forever - even if he could just touch her hand, he would die happy.

But kissing Ino was better.

He eased her to the floor, and just kissed her lips. He still loved her lips.

Fuck, wait, she'd said - fuck, had she just said-? Kiba pulled a quarter of an inch away from her lips. Damnit, he was _not_ close enough to her - but, he whispered "God, I love you. I love you, Ino, I fucking love you so much."

Her eyes were shining. That had to be a good thing.

Kiba leaned down, and brushed his lips over hers again - tingles went up his spine. That was so gay. But he didn't even care-

There was something _tapping_, behind him. He looked up, and the scary dance teacher ("Kurenai, oh, shit," Ino breathed against his throat) was standing there, arms cross, crimson eyes narrowed, foot tap-tap-tapping out a very steady rhythm.

"I need this room," she said. "I'm teaching a class in here in ten minutes. If you're not out, bad things will happen to you. Get out."

Kiba and Ino both stared at her, a slight bit frightened. Seriously, Kurenai scared Kiba shitless. Kurenai paused, and then looked Kiba dead in the eye.

"Oh, and... _Kiba_, is it? If you hurt her again, I will _hunt you down_, and nothing in this world will save you. Get it? Got it? Good. Now get out of my sight."

Then Kurenai turned, stalked out of the dance room, and let the door close with a tiny click. Kiba pretended he didn't see the slight grin that had crossed the red-eyed woman's lips - it was Anko-scary, which really couldn't be healthy, for one thing, but it also screamed "DOOM."

So Kiba helped Ino up, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, kissed the top of her head, and said "I... fuck, I missed you."

* * *

"I know," she whispered, eyes closed as she relished in the feeling of him being here. With her. She smiled, "I'll go change."

She whipped around and headed towards the cubby-room. As she picked at her clothes, changing into black skinnies, a black t-shirt and red converses, she decided that she hasn't been _Ino _Ino in so long. She was without makeup. Her hair was a mess. And.. God. She felt... Ino didn't know anymore.

Sighing, she whipped out the makeup-pouch that never left her bag; added a hairbrush, and headed for the bathroom where she brushed her hair, fixing it into a long French braid; she twirled the end until it curled cutely. Ino smiled and moved on to her makeup. Applied concealer and foundation before adding mascara and black eyeliner.

And, sadly, she felt more like herself again. Before, she'd just throw her hair in a messy ponytail or leave it down and all over the place. She'd refuse - not have the energy - to do her makeup and dear god, she had been a _mess_. Sighing, Ino stepped away from the mirror and looked at herself - deciding that... she was getting there. Just getting there, back on her feet.

She walked back towards her bag, stuffing the makeup-pouch back in there before pulling her red hoodie down her head, pulling her braid out. Sighing and giving herself a last once-over, she headed back towards Kiba.

A smile came to her lips just at the sight of him.

"Okay," she breathed out, "we can go now."

Before anything, she intertwined her fingers through his and gave him the brightest smile she could ever produce.

* * *

He was _holding her hand_.

Kiba really didn't even know if he was dreaming, or not. Really. Seriously. Her fingers fit between the spaces in his perfectly.

He honestly didn't even care where they were going. He got to hold her hand, again.

* * *

She supposed that they were back in good terms rather quickly. Nothing like normal couples in which they talk and _then _go back to being together. But who said she and Kiba were like normal couples?

She swung their intertwined hands back and forth, almost allowing herself to decide that her nails were going electric-blue next time. Oh! Lookie, there! She was going back to her normal self again. Ino's smile only brightened at the thought.

He opened the passenger's door for her, closing it right after she got in before going towards the driver's side and taking his own seat. Once he was driving, Ino couldn't help but seek his hand's warmth once again. And as he drove towards... Ino wasn't sure where they were going, but either way, they were quiet.

The radio was playing some sort of song that she knew she knew - but for some reason she didn't remember the lyrics.

"Let's go to your place," she said softly after an extended period of silence.

* * *

"Sure, kiddo," he told her quietly.

Seriously, he would go anywhere she wanted to go. If it was his house, fine. If it was across the country, fine. Hell, if she wanted him to throw himself in front of a bus, he probably would. It didn't matter. Ino looked - better, he decided, even then she had an hour ago. Healthier.

He gulped, and wondered what the hell he'd done to deserve someone even a _little_ bit like her.

It must have been something really goddamn good.

And Kiba swore, right then, that if he ever fucked up with her again, he was just going to jump off a bridge.

Hurting Ino again... that would be a million times worse then anything Death could throw at him. And seeing her cry had been the worst thing he'd ever done. He would probably destroy himself, if he ever made her cry again.

He brought her hand up to his face, and gently brushed his lips across her knuckles. He'd never loved anyone, before.

But Kiba loved Ino.

And he figured that was all that really mattered.

* * *

A radiant smile spread on her lips as he kissed her knuckles and Ino decided that this is what it felt like to be loved.

The rest of the ride was quiet as Kiba concentrated on driving and Ino drowned herself in this feeling of pure peace and ease she was feeling. When they arrived to his house, it took er a moment to grasp the concept before she got out of the car, quickly wrapping her arms around herself and sighing as she looked up at the sky.

It was only when Kiba wrapped an arm around her shoulders and brought her closer to his person that, with a smile, Ino began to walk towards the front door. Once inside, she stood and looked around; it wasn't her first time at his house... But she was kinda nervous and... It... Was just justified, okay?

He led her to the living room and Ino took a seat on the couch as if she were going to break something. Her heartbeat escalated when he sat next to her. And after that, a long period of silence commenced.

Blinking, she almost awkwardly drawled out, "So..."

* * *

Kiba just looked at her.

He knew he should probably go off an a tangent, and explain everything -or at least try- to her. She deserved that much. Actually, she deserved a lot more then that, but he still wasn't sure he deserved the right to even speak to her - he probably didn't.

Instead, he took a slow, deep breath, filling his lungs up with everything he had wanted to say.

There was so much, Kiba didn't even know where to begin. But Ino was staring at him with wide, wide blue eyes, and a strange, calming look on her features, and Kiba tried to gather his thoughts about himself.

And slowly, he began.

"I... fucked up. I told you I would. I didn't mean to. But I did."

* * *

At their talk, Ino had gotten a bit riled up. But you can't blame her because it was damn straight justified. And it only angered her more to know that she suffered for about three weeks just because of a misunderstanding. Seriously, Life, what the fuck is your problem?

Honestly, her? Making out with Itachi? As tempting as that sounded (though, she already did do such a thing) it was _nothing _like that. It only caused her to feel smug when she yelled at Kiba's face that while she conversed with Itachi, all that was on her mind was Kiba himself. His face had been priceless.

Now, Ino just sighed, twirling her hair in her finger as she leaned against Kiba.

It was funny, she thought, how today had been another miserable day. It started off as that - the usual puffy eyes, red rimmed and all. The same discussion with her father at the table, where he asked her what was wrong and again, she'd say "nothing, daddy, I've just been thinking too much". Same shower where her tears had mixed with the water dropping from the shower-head.

It'd only became an unbearable day when she had gone to Kiba's house, just to be informed that he was gone. And had been, too.

And just like that - like a quick snap of a finger, everything was back to normal.

She supposed she shoulda made it wait just a bit. But... Knowing Kiba, he'd do something impulsively stupid again, like _leaving_ and such. So she had to hold on tight to him. She had said she'd keep a short leash (metaphorically, of course) on him, and until she's positive he'd never leaver her again, it was going to stay that way.

Ino needed a break.

Something happy, something that made her feel absolutely amazing... Like... Shopping.

She hasn't shopped for what seemed like forever!

With a wide grin on her lips, Ino stood up from the couch and pulled at Kiba's hand. "We're going _shopping_!"

* * *

Kiba just chuckled, and let her drag him out towards his car. Sure, he loved his house and whatnot, and he was totally cool with whatever she wanted to do, but _fuck_, he just wanted to _hold_ her right then - just wanted to make sure she was real.

Because he was still having issues not throwing her into his bedroom, and locking her away there for a good week and a half.

As far as Kiba was concerned, Ino was _his_ again. He wasn't planning on letting her out of his sight, _ever_.

It was actually at the point that he was willing to go meet her dad - and, as if _that_ thought wasn't scary enough, he honestly could not see a future without her in it, in some way, shape, or form. And that was _god damn scary_. Kiba had never been the commitment type.

But all his muddled head could make out was an image of a house, a couple of dark-haired boys, and a little girl who was practically a carbon copy of Ino herself. It practically _hurt_ to think about it _not_ happening.

The only thing that Kiba could hear in his head, (as he and Ino walked out to his car, hand in hand), was Suigetsu muttering "_You are so fuckin' whipped. This is **sad**._"

And to be honest?

Kiba didn't even care.

* * *

It was sad when a girl gets soooo damn heartbroken, that she abandons everything. Including shopping. It was like saying someone abandoned eating. Like someone abandoning their life and... just stop living.

That was how Ino felt. It was like... she missed a week of her life - just being stuck in her room, sobbing, drowning in her tears, choking in her sobs. It had hurt sooo much. What made Ino feel all the worse was the fact that this was not the first time this happened to her. There was Sasori, there was that other guy and the other and... Kiba. And all Ino really had wanted to know was how much more pain she had to endure before she had a chance of being happy.

But that was before. Kiba was different, she always knew he'd be different.

Because he came back to her and he was here, at her side. And that's all Ino really wanted.

...And now, a step at a time... that's how she was going to take it. And the next step? It was to shop.

"I missed shopping," she murmured to herself as she got into his car.

* * *

Kiba drew breath, and listened to her murmur to herself.

The words "I missed _you_," escaped him before he could restrain them. He caught the slight blush that traveled up her neck, and it took all of his self control to not pull over, pull a U-turn, and head straight back to his house, to make sure she understood exactly what she meant to him.

But he knew she'd probably beat him over the head - she _did_ want to go shopping, and who was Kiba to deny her _anything_?

So instead, he let her slip her hand into his -he thanked whatever there was for Higher Beings for creating her in all her perfection-, and headed towards Sunnyside Mall.

* * *

Today was Sunday.

Sunday meant last minute shopping for the week. It also meant crowded stores, groping, stealing. Annoyance - it also meant annoyance.

Ino would admit it, she had missed shopping like crazy. Like the mama bear misses her cubs when they grow up and leave her. She missed it. But she missed Kiba more than anything. And he was here, with her and she really didn't want to share him with the world right now. Because she was selfish and she wanted to keep him for herself even if just for today.

"Stop the car," she said, turning to look at him with determined blue eyes, "I don't want to go shopping. I don't want to go out today. I just want to be with _you._"

* * *

Kiba slammed the breaks -thanked the sky that there was no one behind him-, pulled to the side of the road, and just looked at Ino for a second. Her jaw was set at a determined angle, a sparkle of possession in her eye.

Wow. That was _hot_.

He slouched in the driver's seat. "So what do ya wan'na do, ex'ctly?"

A slow, lazy, _sexy_ smile made it's way across her lips.

That was quite literally all Kiba needed to hit the gas, pull a U-turn, and book it back to his house.

* * *

Ino giggled at his speed, her braid, dancing with the wind and her bangs whipping at her face.

Her grip on his hand tightened and Ino... Ino has never been happier.

It wasn't long before they arrived back at his house and once Ino was out of the passenger's seat and on the sidewalk... she kissed him.

Hard, possessive, rough.

_Minemineminemine_.

* * *

It took every ounce of Kiba's already thin self-control to actually get them _inside_ his house. He picked her up, and carried her, because fuck if it wasn't quicker.

The front door slammed behind them, and Kiba's lips were at her throat. God, he loved her throat - and he _was_ going to make sure that the rest of the world understood that she was off limits. He growled low in his throat, and skimmed his canines along Ino's collarbone.

When he pulled away -leaving a very satisfactory bruise on the junction of where her shoulder met her neck; damn, he loved her low-cut shirts-, and murmured "Missed you, kiddo."

* * *

Her hands were entangled in his hair, her mouth kissing and nibbling at his jaw and she couldn't help but smile at his affectionate name for her. It made her heart beat fast, made her want to do things... Crazy things. It made her weak at the knees.

"I missed you more," she breathed out, trailing kisses at his neck, biting here and there. She smirked when she bit at his ear-pierce and _god, _how she had missed him.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she brought him closer. Closer, closer, closer, closer.

She wanted him _closer_.

* * *

Kiba had to admit, he liked the way she trying to get his shirt off. It was slightly amusing, because it seemed like she was having such a hard time with it.

He kissed her again; it was a slow, hot _burn_ of utter _want_. He crushed her against his chest, because, _god_, she wasn't close enough. His hands found her hips, and Kiba hoisted her up against the door, and just held her there.

All Kiba wanted, really, was to touch her. Make sure she was real - so he still had issues about her _not being there_.

She was wrapped around him, and his lips gently brushed over hers.

God, if this wasn't "love", what the hell _was_ it?

* * *

This felt so... so surreal.

Ino couldn't help but _love _the feeling of him being so close to her. So close, yet he seemed so far. And why wasn't he _closer_. Her legs tightened around his waist, her arms doing the same around his neck. And she kissed him.

So softly, that they had to wonder if their lips were actually touching.

And it was so... torturing for her to go this slow. But it felt so nice. So, so, so nice. Ino sighed against his lips and smiled. "I need you," she breathed out against his lips.

"I know. Fuck, I'm so fucking sorry..."

She shook her head and kissed him again.

* * *

It just wasn't _enough_.

Frankly, Kiba wanted her naked, and he wanted her naked _right then_.

He picked her up, again. Wrapped her around him, again. Kiba kept her as close as he physically could, without breaking her, and headed straight to his bedroom. He kicked the door closed after them, and then pressed her against the door, his mouth searching hungrily along her jaw.

Kiba pulled away for a half-second.

Damn, if she wasn't the most incredible creature he'd ever seen...

* * *

"Not fast enough," she breathed out and for the interval that they weren't touching, she pulled her shirt off and threw it to the side.

She watched in a hazy fascination as he stared at her naked torso with something akin to absolute enchantment. And then he grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up; Ino's knees buckled at the sight of his abs, his chest and his biceps. Her eyes were absolutely glued, even as he began to unbutton his jeans.

She murmured something incoherent and neared him, her hands helping him in taking off all the offending clothing off their bodies.

And when their lips crashed against each other in a kiss that was the embodiment of pure want, Ino lost all her coherence and all she could think, breathe, see was Kiba.

* * *

Kiba fixed the way that Ino was, right then, in his mind.

He wanted to remember it forever.

_Fuck this_, he thought to himself, and practically threw her on the bed. Kiba kissed her pulse.

God, he loved her, he loved her, he loved her; how could he _not_ love her? Kiba kissed her pulse, kissed her collar bone, kissed the hollow of her throat, kissed her chin, and kissed her lips. And then he pulled away, and carefully kissed each one of her eyelids.

Fuck, she was _his_.

"Missed you, kiddo," he whispered.

And then he didn't think again for a very long time.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

It was late.

It was so late.

Sakura stared out the window, into the dark of night, and wondered exactly why she was still awake.

She couldn't sleep.

She - _missed_ Sasuke.

She just - _missed_ him.

_Ignore it, Sakura_, she told herself firmly, and went to her computer. She was still awake, it was almost three AM, and she just - she just wanted someone to talk to, someone who wouldn't judge, someone who would just _be_. Was that so much to ask?

Apparently.

Sakura sighed, and went to send a new email.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject_: Are you there?_

I know, I know, I know. I'm crazy and it's like three AM, but are you doing anything right now?  
Because I really need to talk to someone.

Please be there. I need you right now.

Please.

-Superstar

P.S. To clarify: look, I'm really not in a good place right now. Come and meet me somewhere?  
(We _have_ been friends [are we friends?] long enough for me to ask this of you, right?)

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject_: __Yes. I'm here._

No, it's okay. I'm always awake at this time.  
Is something wrong?

...Okay, you're making me feel weird. In that worrisome way.

-Thunder

P.S. I suppose so. Where at?

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject_: I can't believe I'm asking this._

I know you are.  
Yes, lots is wrong. I just need to talk to someone who isn't going to judge me right now.  
It's about that stupid (ex-)boyfriend of mine.

Sorry, I don't mean to.

-Superstar

P.S. Uh, do you know that kiddie park with the swings? Park Ave, I think?  
There would be really good.

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject_: __You already did._

Huh.  
Okay, when you put it that way, fine. Then I'll talk about something I don't want to be judged on, too.

It's alright.

-Thunder

P.S. Yeah, I know the place. I'll be there in ten...

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject_: I know. I think I'm going crazy._

I'm already there.

See you in a bit.

-Superstar

~_Sent from my BlackBerry_

* * *

Sasuke was inwardly freaking out.

Actually, he had been, ever since that argument-talk he had with Kiba. Unlike the Mutt who must have bolted straight towards wherever the blond girl was, Sasuke actually went Hermit again. He just couldn't face Sakura. No matter what, he just _couldn't_.

She was _different._

These feelings were _new_. He didn't know how the fuck to use them. Hell, he didn't even know how to _express _them. How to _show_ them. How to _tell _them.

And he'd avoided her for almost four weeks, now. How was he supposed to randomly appear in front of her and ask her to take him back - if it was even that what he was supposed to ask. Fuck, he didn't even know what he was supposed to _say_.

Sasuke sighed as he walked down the empty streets. He had his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie, shoulders hunched - it was fucking cold. No, scratch that, it was fucking _snowing. _Sasuke actually didn't even realize he had just left the house with what he had on. A maroon hoodie, a black scarf, gray skinnies and all-black converses. That was all.

He let a breath out and Sasuke stared at the cloud of white as it dematerialized after a second. Then he looked up and stared as the park came in to view.

And once the swings were in sight, Sasuke saw a figure.

And pink.

And then Sasuke wasn't cold anymore. He was hot. He was _boiling_.

* * *

Sakura's fingers were locked around the freezing metal links of the swing she was sitting on; her head was bent, and she was waiting, her breathing slow and quiet.

She'd come to this park a lot, as a child. And it had always been a safe, quiet place, because not many people came, and it was just... _familiar_. It had all the things she loved the best; and most of her favourite childhood memories revolved around this place in some way or another.

Sakura's insides were knotting. She needed to talk to Thunder-or-whateverhisnamewas; she just needed to talk to _someone_, and he was it. So she might have had a teeny-tiny little crush on him, because he was easy to talk to, and he knew how to fight back with words, and that was something she had only rarely discovered, in people.

Sasuke had been like that.

Sakura's heart hurt.

She just sat there, in the complete silence and stillness of the night, and watched the snow fall near her shoes.

* * *

"What the _hell _are you doing here?" was the first thing that escaped his lips just as soon as he was close enough.

He stopped right in front of her, hands dug deeeeeep into his pockets and hair falling in front of his eyes. He was glaring - fuck, if he could, he'd be shooting flames like a flame-thrower because it was _three in the morning _and what the _hell _was she doing out here alone?

God, Sakura was so fucking stupid sometimes, he thought angrily. What if something _happened _to her?

Sasuke mentally froze.

What would he do then?

The thought of something happening to her made his insides... do some fucked up things. Sasuke didn't like not knowing what the fuck was going on. But he'd admit one thing... He cared for Sakura more than he had ever cared about any girl. He _liked _her.

Fuck, he _fell _for her.

"Waiting for someone."

She... was angry. She was... she was a lot of things, wasn't she?

But he didn't blame her. This was a mess.

"Who?"

And... Maybe he should clean it up?

"Someone," she muttered.

Sasuke had an urge... But sadly, he didn't know what that urge wanted him to do. She should go home. It was cold - she could get sick. It was _three in the morning_. Something could... Sasuke sighed.

"Does this someone have a name?"

She hadn't even looked _up _at him. Fuck, this was worse than he thought. "Nope."

Sighing, and feeling like something had shifted within him, Sasuke took a seat on the swing next to hers. "Then I'll wait with you."

* * *

"I don't want you to."

Sakura kept her head down. Of all people, _he_ had to show up. She didn't have any control, at that second; she had no control over what she'd just said, she had no control over the fact that her fists were curled around the metal links of the swing so tight her knuckles were going white, and she _definitely_ had no control over her emotions.

She could hear the clink of metal against metal against rubber against metal as Sasuke moved slightly on the swing next to her.

Honestly, she just wanted him to go away. She wanted to talk to Thunder.

And she did _not_ want to deal with the tears that were trying their damnedest to make their way to her eyes. Sakura valiantly suppressed them. She hadn't cried about it since a long time ago. She was not going to start crying now.

She was _not_.

She kept her head down. She could not look at him.

She would not.

* * *

Ouch.

That one hit a chord. And surprisingly, Sasuke was alright with that. He deserved that - actually, he deserved everything that she was going to throw at him. And he was okay with that.

He's gotten up to that stage - taking the blame. Because it _was _his fault... But how could he get to the other stages? How could he make her _see _that he was sorry. That he didn't want to... to... to _lose _this. Her. Them.

His hands clenched their hold on the metal. His head tilted downwards, forcing his bangs to cover his face. Sasuke was... he was angry. He was fucking frustrated - not at her. At himself. Because, fuck. Fuck. He just didn't know anymore.

He didn't know what to _do_.

What did she want to _hear_? If he was told, he'd say it. He'd say it in a heartbeat because he was _losing _her. Or maybe he'd already lost her?

She was waiting for someone... Maybe it was some other guy, or whatever. She _did _seem to be the kind to move- Fuck. No. No. No.

He wasn't going to allow himself to think that. Fucking bastard of a cousin of his. He would have killed him if the Mutt hadn't intervened. God, Sasuke was lost.

"Okay," he finally said softly. "That's fair. But I'm waiting for someone, too."

"That's okay," he heard her mutter, "I don't really care."

And he found himself smirking. She was such a stubborn girl. So, so, so stubborn.

"That's okay, too." There was silence and Sasuke stared at the snow he was kicking as he softly swung his swing back and forth. It was choking him, to be honest - this silence, it was choking. He wanted to _leave_. He wanted to get up, walk away, never look back and just forget about her. He did.

But then... What if?

What. If?

_What if_?

(Kiba's words began to replay in his head like a sudden broken tape-recorder.)

"Sorry."

* * *

Sakura bit her lip. There were a million ways she could approach this conversation. A million ways - but all she really wanted was for him to go away, and take the blinding pain from the past three weeks with him, because it had _hurt,_ and she didn't really want to feel like that, again.

She drew a breath of sharp ice-cold night air into her lungs, and forced herself to place her chapped-from-the-cold palms in her lap. From far away, she watched a street-lamp flicker, the light snow slicing through the orange light. Sakura's voice was a half-croak. "Sorry doesn't really cut it, you know?"

He was grinding his teeth. She could hear it. "Then what will? Tell me, and I'll do it."

Sakura barely shook her head. Where was Thunder?

"I don't know, Sasuke. I - don't _know_." Her voice broke. "I wish I did."

Teardrops landed on her folded hands.

(_She was not crying w__hy was she crying this wasn't supposed to hurt anymore stop it stop it stop it **stop it.**_)

* * *

She... was crying.

Fuck, she was crying.

There was a sharp, dull, pang in his heart as he saw the river her tears left down her cheeks. And she was crying because of him - _he _did this to her. _He _made her... made her what? Hurt - of course she was hurting, he left her. He _disappeared _without even telling her why. Without even telling her _anything_. She _must _feel hurt, betrayed... confused.

And then Sasuke knew; he knew right then that crying was something he'd never want to see Sakura do again.

He got off the swing and crouched in front of her. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing - he was disoriented and he just wanted her to feel better. Even if he didn't get her back. He just... He just... fuck.

His hands went to her cheeks and he brushed away her tears. Sasuke, in his life, had never thought he'd do this to anyone. And this was how much Sakura had really affected him. And it was a good thing. It was an amazing thing.

And as he brushed her tears gone, Sasuke...

...He kissed her.

* * *

Sakura's insides turned to jelly.

She sat there, and let him kiss her. She didn't dare breathe, or even move, for fear that the whole situation was somehow some sort of _really_ fucked up, _cruel_ dream (which was, by the way, very uncool, kaythanks).

The tear tracks on her cheeks were starting to dry.

Sakura pulled away; she needed to breathe, needed to get away from this situation, needed to _think_.

"Jerk," she mumbled, and hid her face in his throat. Her hands, still folded neatly in her lap, reached up, and curled into fists in the fabric of his hoodie. A sob almost escaped her throat. "You are _such_ a _jerk_. I don't - you - I - this-!"

She didn't even know what to say to him. She wanted to kiss him again, but she also wanted to push him away and never see him again, because she never wanted to _hurt_ like this again.

Sakura's voice was low, and controlled. Or, at least, she hoped it was.

"You hurt me, Sasuke. _So_-" ragged breath, "-_much_. And I don't-" she paused, to try to regain some of her slipping control. Another ragged breath of air into her lungs, "-I don't even know _why_. You just - just up and left."

* * *

There it was.

There it was. That part where he had to explain to her. And fuck, what was he going to say? 'Hi, I found out you were my gay cousin's ex-girlfriend. He's kind of a total fagatron brainwasher and he brainwashed me into thinking I was your rebound and so I was pissed and I left.'

No.

He couldn't just _say _that to her.

Right...?

"I know," he finally said. His voice was soft. He spoke slowly. He didn't know what to do from here. But at least he got her talking. "I know - and I'm sorry. I'm sorry - you..." Times like these made Sasuke wish he was good with words. "You didn't deserve that."

Her grip on his hoodie became stronger and she clung to him as if she were helpless and she probably was. God, look at the mess he made. _Fuck_.

(Vaguely, he wondered where the fuck Superstar went.)

Closing his eyes, he decided he was just going to let it out. Because, fuck, he _needed _to hear _her _say he _wasn't _a... a... He needed her to tell him it had nothing to do with Sai. So he'd tell her. He'd tell her, and if she wanted nothing to do with him then... it'd be okay. Because it'd be what she wanted and Sasuke could give her that. She deserved that much. Taking a breath, he said, "Sai..."

* * *

Sai. Of course.

"What did my really lame, really gay, ex-boyfriend tell you? That you were a rebound? Because you weren't. Not ever." Sakura chuckled weakly. "Not even at the start."

It was very, very silent.

"...Oh."

Sakura gnawed on her lip. He wasn't going to say anything more. "_Oh_". Why didn't that surprise her? Sakura choked a laugh, and pushed him off. She stood up, and took five precise, rigid steps. Then she paused, turned around, and just looked at him.

"I was waiting for a guy named Thunder. But he's not here, and so I'm going home. See you around, Sasuke. Or maybe not."

And then she turned, and started walking away, again.

_I will not cry I will not cry I will not cry_...

* * *

The only thing in his head was that she was leaving.

But, he had thought he'd let her go. But... Sasuke didn't want her to leave. He didn't. Right then - right then, he was freaking out. He didn't _know _what to do. What the fuck was he supposed to do?

Panicking, he stood up and he walked after her. The hood fell off his head and he was probably going to get terribly sick but he just didn't really _give_ a fuck, anymore. Because she was _leaving _and by leaving, she was leaving _him_. And Sasuke couldn't bare this - he thought he could.

But he couldn't.

"Sakura," he grasped her wrist and pulled her back, made her turn to look at him. And... "Fuck, would you just _let me think_? I don't _know _what the fuck I have to do here. I... I'm walking blind now. I don't _know _what you want to hear. I don't know what _I _want to say. I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry."

He took a breath and looked away from her. "I've never done this before. But I'm trying. I'm fucking trying. Just... be patient..." And then, and then he was trying to catch her gaze. And it took him a while and when he did, "Give me a chance?"

* * *

"I don't want to hurt anymore," she simply said, blinking rapidly to force the tears that were clogging her vision away.

He almost looked like he was pleading with her. "Let me fix it... _Please_."

"Give me a reason to give you a chance," she whispered.

"What reason do you want? I... Sakura... I..."

She watched him grit his teeth - he did that a lot. He'd stopped moving, and he sighed. Ground his teeth a little more, and stood there, in front of her, more nervous then she'd ever seen him. He ran a hand through his hair, and kept shooting her a pensive-intense look that had her heart stopping in her chest.

"I need a reason, Sasuke. I can't do this again, for nothing."

He was staring at her, vulnerable. Sasuke was never vulnerable. Never. He ran his hand through his hair again, and then just looked at her. "I... I love you, okay? I do."

Sakura's jaw _dropped_.

"If this is a really cruel joke, I'm never speaking to you again."

* * *

Sasuke froze and he just stared at her. Really stared at her - unblinkingly. Just... blank. And almost weary. He wanted to give up, so badly. But... then he'd never keep her, would he?

"Look at me and really think about it," he said. "Does it seem like I'd just throw that out to just anyone for the fuck of it?"

He stared as she swallowed - probably a gulp. "...I don't know."

Sasuke sighed. And he slumped his shoulders and looked away. "I said it, Sakura. I gave you a reason. What more do you want from me?"

There was a long, agonizingly dragged out silence. Sasuke felt his heart (he actually had one, yes) ram into his ribs and that annoying never ending ringing was back in his ears and he was fucking freaking out. His jaw was clenched taut and his teeth-grinding was becoming close to an obsession. His eyes stared at the swings, slowly moving back and forth both from their rash movements and the harsh, blistering cold wind.

"Did you miss me at all?" she asked after the prolonged silence, her voice a broken whisper. He heard movement, and he strongly wished she'd move _closer _to him. But all she had been doing was shifting her weight from one leg to the other. He turned to look at her again and he just stared. Stared at her and tried to make her _understand _that...

"Yes."

...He really did.

And then she threw herself on him and Sasuke almost lost his balance as he gathered her in his arms. He buried his face in her hair and he took in the scent he had been unknowingly yearning for. And he felt... relaxed.

He felt like he used to? Like nothing was wrong. Like nothing happened.

And then something hit him.

"_I'm_ Thunder, stupid."

* * *

"...Are you _kidding_ me?" Sakura whispered, voice cracking.

Seriously. _Seriously_. All this _time_ - no _wonder_ they'd been able to bitch so perfectly to each other. No _wonder_ if had been like they'd been in exactly the same boat; the anger, the betrayal...

Sakura wasn't sure if she should feel sick, or elated, or what. Thunder knew her better then almost any other person alive, because, more then once, she'd poured her heart out to him. And now he was - god, he was _Sasuke_. She didn't know how emotionally healthy that was, but... but... But all she wanted, however, right at that moment in time, was to cling to Sasuke, and never _ever_ let him out of her grip, much less out of her sight.

She shook her head against his chest. "No wonder... All this time..."

Sakura took another deep breath of the winter air. It stung in her lungs, but Sakura suddenly felt alive, for the first time in _weeks_.

"Hey, Sasuke..."

He looked down at her, and Sakura stood up on her tiptoe, and pressed her lips against his.

The snow fluttered around them, sugar plum fairies on a winter night's breeze.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**ABOUT FUCKING TIME. now. please, all of you, review. we know you read it, you know we write it, so would you _please_ be courteous and _leave_ us a comment about it? to those of you that _do_ review on a regular basis: _WE LOVE YOU_. that is all.**


	39. how to finally remember somebody's name

we-ll, shit, son.  
also, we've totally killed this joke, with how many times we've used it. IT'S LIKE WATCHING JACKASS RE-RUNS: TOTALLY. POINTLESS. but still funny, oddly enough.  
**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to love and sunshine and sonya's innate FB-stalking gifts.

**les flips her hair**: you got the bottle, we got the cups. :)  
**sara grooves to fifties tunes, baby**: hey. you. pretty boy with the brain. let's hook uppppp. ;)  
**sonya** **just forgot him**: "she hates time, make it stop." & i'm just good at what i do... IT WAS SARAA'S FAULT SHE COULDN'T BLOODY ASK FOR HIS LAST NAME.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Kiba was probably grinning like a bloody git.

(Not that that was anything new; Kiba grinned like a bloody idiot _all the time_. Ino just brought it out of him more than anyone else ever could. ...Fuck, he was so whipped.)

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, and continued to actually _smile_ - probably like a goddamn idiot, but, fuck's sake, he didn't even _care_. Christ, he could still feel Ino's hair fisted in his hands, long strands of golden blonde haloing around his pillow...

...

He was such a fucking goofball.

Kiba grinned to himself.

And then felt sick.

Because-

Well.

There was the issue of Sasuke.

Bros before hoes. Always - and, fuck, Kiba had promised. It wasn't something he could go back on - and it hurts worse, because he knew that Ino would understand. They would make it work - they _would_. It didn't matter if they were half-way across the world. They _would_ make it work.

But Kiba wouldn't (couldn't) leave Sasuke hanging.

And so, wincing with every step, Kiba headed towards Sasuke's.

* * *

It was fucking freezing out.

And he was that dumb idiot that left the house without an extra coat and now, with just a mere snow-soaked zip-up hoodie warming (or not) his body, Sasuke was freezing. His teeth were clattering, even if he clenched them tight, his lips were probably turning blue and his hair was sticking to his face from the dampness of the melted snow.

And Sasuke couldn't care less.

Seriously, he's never felt so... so _this _in his life; he's never had _that feeling _making all the anger _go away_.

It was so fucking weird and it had him tripping on acid.

Hell, he's caught himself grinning like an idiot _twice_.

And Sasuke's not the type to grin like an idiot for no damn reason. Hell, he rarely smiled; yes, a smirk and a smile were different. But... fuck. This was some trippy business and Sasuke didn't even _mind _being in it.

His hands, dug deep in his pockets, were still feeling (ugh) _tingly _from holding Sakura's hand as he walked her home. Fuck, he could even still feel her lips against his and it made him grin. Again. Fuck.

Now on his way back to his house, Sasuke was... In between that fine line of peace and slight anger.

Peace because everything worked... and anger because, for fuck's sake, he was _soaked _and he was fucking _freezing_.

He caught a body little ways ahead of him and he wondered who the fuck could be stupid enough to be out at this time. When the form began to turn familiar, Sasuke's blood turned cool. Because, fuck if he didn't forget Kiba.

Oh shit.

"What're you doing around here, Mutt."

* * *

Sasuke. Of course.

Kiba rolled his eyes.

"Looking for you, douche. Fuck, what the hell, you look like you're about to freeze - can we get into your house, already? It's _fucking cold_."

"Hn."

...Sometimes, Kiba just wanted to _punch_ Sasuke. He leveled a glare at his old friend, and said "Stop that shit, and speak to me with _words_. Humans don't understand grunting."

"Fuck, b-bitch. I'm fuckin' fr-freezing - I can't talk correctly."

Kiba groaned, and shook his head. For fuck's sake, Sasuke was gonna die, and Kiba was really going to fucking regret ever being his friend. He shrugged his jacket off, and tossed it in Sasuke's general direction. "Christ, you're gonna get pneumonia or some shit, you fucking retard - why the hell didn't you put on a coat? Let's go, before you goddamn well _die_. Put that damn thing on, your mom's gonna kill me if I let you get sick!"

"Who's d-dying? I s-sure as hell ain't." Sasuke's teeth clattered. "Hold my hand, b-baby."

"Dude, you're going gay on me. That only happens when you're being stupid. Now shut the fuck up, and let's get home, already."

"S-stupid my ass. Bitch. I need some al-alcohol. That's all."

Kiba's eyeball twitched. "_Fuck_ no. I'm _never_ fucking letting you drink _again_. You do _stupid shit_ when you're drunk. _Shut_ the _fuck_ up."

Sasuke snorted. "Keep... Keep telling yourself t-that, Mutt."

"I'm going to fucking knock you unconscious, to keep you from spouting weird shit at me," Kiba told Sasuke flatly, and half-dragged the almost-comatose-from-the-cold man through the snow. Slush curdled around his boots, and Kiba sneered. It was _fucking freezing_.

"My mom'd k-kill you."

Kiba shook his head. "Nah, I have reason. She'd understand."

"Shut _up_, Mutt. G-god," Sasuke half-growled. The dark-haired man shoved his keys at Kiba, and grumbled "He-here, open t-the door."

Kiba caught the keys in the air, and went to work at the lock; his fingers were gloved, and he would likely have much better luck at it then Sasuke would (never mind the fact that Sasuke looked like he was about to pass out, anyway). There was the distinct sound of a lock unlatching, and Kiba took a step back to admire his handiwork. There, that would be good. He shot a glance at Sasuke, and said, voice mild, "You are fucking useless."

Sasuke looked almost offended. "Huh."

Kiba just rolled his eyes, pushed the door open, and dragged Sasuke inside.

* * *

"Heatttttttt."

So, okay, The Mutt had a point - he tended to say and do weird things when he was out of it. Such as right now; he was so damn cold, he was dragging out his words and saying things he normally never said. It was kind of funny and weird.

The Many Sides of Sasuke.

Sasuke snorted and went up the stairs and straight to his room, Kiba right behind him.

Once inside his room, Sasuke shedded Kiba's worn out leather jacket, his soaked hoodie and his shirt, throwing the former onto his bed and the two latter at a random spot on his floor. Shirtless, Sasuke walked to his drawers and picked out a white long-sleeved thermal and a black t-shirt to go over it.

"Christ," he heard Kiba mutter.

Sasuke smirked.

Before he put on his new shirts, Sasuke kicked off his soaked converses and his socks.

"H-heater," he drawled, "t-turn it on, idiot."

Kiba grumbled and walked to the heater, turning it on with no kind of enthusiasm.

Sasuke walked towards the little bar-table-thing where he kept almost _all _his liquor and opened the closest one - Grey Goose. He opened the cap and rolled his eyes at Kiba's barrage of protests that were bound to come. Pouring some into a shot-glass, he knocked it back without even batting an eye.

"Oh shut up," he said, "Just one to heat my body up, fuck."

* * *

Kiba's eyeball twitched. "Let's think for a fucking second here, douche. What happened the _last_ time you drank seriously?"

"...I don't want to fucking think about that. That's a low blow, bitch, even for you," Sasuke glared.

Kiba didn't really give a shit how grumpy Sasuke was - the dude was too much of an alcoholic for anyone's good. "Low blow or not, it still makes you look like a fucking idiot. Drink some damn tea, or something."

Sasuke still glared. "I'd rather not."

"Shut the fuck up, I'm making coffee," Kiba told him succinctly. He exited the room and went downstairs, into the kitchen. He went about making the dark, caffeinated drink, and thoroughly ignore Sasuke. Seriously, he was so not in the mood to deal with the dude's bitching.

It was quiet, for a moment, save for the pop and whistle of the kettle, and Kiba took a breath.

He fucking hated confrontations like this.

"So... What the fuck happened with Saka - Suka - what the hell _is_ her name, anyway?"

* * *

Running his hand through his hair and spraying water (stupid snow) all over the tiled ground, Sasuke promptly looked up.

"Suka. Seriously. You're so _lame_."

Sasuke stared at Kiba with as much apathy as he could muster at this point. Honestly, he knew Sasuke's outcome with Sakura was freaking Kiba out; and Sasuke would not be Sasuke, let alone Kiba's friend, if he didn't make his boxers bunch into a knot.

"What? I seriously don't know her name, dude!"

"Right." Sasuke leaned against the counter and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I got dumped."

Honestly, it was taking all his willpower to not laugh right then.

Kiba turned around and stared at him.

Sasuke remained impassive (even if on the inside he was dying).

* * *

Kiba didn't turn to look at Sasuke.

He didn't have anything to say.

The kettle popped and whistled in the background.

Kiba poured himself a cup of steaming coffee, and threw himself down in one of the kitchen chairs - hard wood, sharp edges.

"So when do we leave?" Kiba asked tiredly.

* * *

Sasuke decided, right then and there, that Kiba was loyal to the point where he was _stupid_.

"You're not going anywhere," he drawled.

Kiba and Sasuke - they were _old _friends. Since before grade school, even. Sasuke knew Kiba's loyalty was (he inwardly snickered at this) like a dog's. It never wavered no matter the price. Sometimes, it irked Sasuke... Kind of like it irked him right now.

"What the fuck."

He shrugged, "Giving by the stupid good mood you were in, you and Jingo worked it out."

Kiba gritted his teeth as he bit out, "Ino, her name is _Ino_."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Yeah. Right. Her." He shrugged again and looked away, "So you stay."

* * *

"No, I don't." Kiba said, slowly.

He could already feel the argument coming on, and wasn't in the mood.

"Yeah, you do."

"No. I don't."

"Yes. You fucking do."

"No, I fucking _don't_."

"Kiba. Yes. Fuck."

"Fuck. No."

This was starting to sound like a bad condom commercial. Kiba wasn't amused.

Sasuke shook his head. He intoned an annoyed "You're a dumbass. A complete dumbass."

Kiba's face remained neutral. "Fuck off, Sasuke."

"No, _you_ fuck off," Sasuke growled at him.

They just looked at each other, glowering darkly for a moment, before Kiba looked away. This was - well, it was what it was. Ino - he was going to have to call Ino. His stomach turned to ice. Kiba pushed himself away from the table, and stood up, slow, slow, and shook his head. "I have to call Ino - I'll be back."

Sasuke practically lunched at him. "Kiba - fuck, _don't_!"

Kiba's eyes were dark. "Lemme go. I fucking _promised_."

"Don't be so _stupid_, Kiba. Fuck - your stupid loyalties and your stupid promises are going to be the death of you, man. Think about yourself for once!"

"I _can't_!" Kiba snapped. "You _know_ I fucking _can't_, you damn douche!"

And he turned away, wrenched himself out of Sasuke's grip, and went to find a phone.

* * *

Before anything, Sasuke smacked his forehead.

He was friends with pure idiots. Seriously.

"Kiba, you idiotic buffoon, get back here and untwist your fucking thong," he hissed as he followed him.

"_Fuck off_," He heard the growl.

Sasuke's steps quickened as he ran up the stairs (good thing his parents slept like rocks) and into his room. He lunged towards Kiba before the idiot could grab any of the two cellphones that were in the room.

"For _fuck's sake_, Kiba. Lighten the _fuck _up."

"..._Fuck. Off_."

Sasuke had just about enough of this. Seriously - leave it to Kiba to take things to the ass. God, what an idiot.

"Kiba for... God I should strangle you. I was joking."

Everything went silent after that.

No movements.

"...Get away from me before I fucking throttle you, Sasuke."

Grinning like an idiot (god, _again_) Sasuke shoved his hands inside his pockets. "Have you _seen _me, idiot? How the fuck can you think _I_ could get dumped?"

* * *

The chaos that had been Kiba's head went very, very still.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Kiba felt a twitch coming on.

He was going to kill Sasuke. He was just going to _fucking kill him_. "Sasuke, I'm not shitting you, get the fuck away before I rip your throat out."

"Oh, shut the fuck up you little child... I need alcohol." And Sasuke looked absolutely unabashed.

Kiba's eye twitched. "Jeezus _fuck_, douche. _No_ fucking alcohol!" He paused, and then said, "I'll tell Sakura."

"Your bitching doesn't count... And so _what_ if you tell her?" Sasuke blanched. "Dude, what the fuck, you actually said her name right for once."

Kiba blinked at him, all thought of the previous argument gone from his head. He was genuinely shocked - _that_ was her name? _Really_? Could it _get_ any more cliché? Kiba was so busy being shocked, he didn't really think about what was about to come out of his mouth. "Wait, did I? Really? _That's_ her name? _Seriously_?"

And then it was Sasuke's turn to twitch. "Now _I'm_ going to throttle you, you little piece of shit. You should start saying her name right or I'll tell Lingo-Ringo-Fingo-Jingo-Bingo-Mingo-Whatever you can't say her friend's name right."

Kiba snorted, and Sasuke glared.

"Dude, Ino _knows_ I can't remember names worth shit." Kiba said with a shrug.

"Ino...? Who... Oh, right."

Sasuke was eyeing the liquor again. Kiba was tempted to pour it down the drain.

"Don't even _think_ of it, you fucker," Kiba muttered, annoyed.

* * *

God, if this was what it was going to be like every time he was near alcohol and Kiba was around, Sasuke may just have to sever their ties. Be done with their _years _of bitching and fighting and friendship.

Seriously.

Sasuke was not above choosing alcohol over his friend.

"C'mon, fuck-face," He drawled, sparing his old friend a glance, "Lighten up and drink with me."

"...I'm going to fucking kill you."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and sighed. With a shrug he said, "You've been saying that since we met over ten years ago. And I'm still here. Get over it, and let's get drunk."

Kiba glared at him. "I _hate_ you. ... Pass the vodka."

Sasuke was, yet again, grinning like an idiot as he grabbed the bottle of vodka and two shot-glasses. Pouring some into both of the shot-glasses, Sasuke passed one to Kiba, a smirk on his lips.

God, did he love alcohol.

* * *

Kiba grabbed the shot of clear vodka, and held it up to the light. He squinted at it for a moment.

It sloshed dangerously.

Kiba shot it back.

(For those unaware, Kiba was something of a lightweight. Well, okay, not "something"... He was very much a lightweight. Two shots, and he was _out_.

...

_Fuck_.)

* * *

By the time Sasuke was on his sixth shot, Kiba was already _drunk_.

Sasuke could only watch as Kiba stared at his shot-glass, contemplatively; he stirred it around, hazed-eyes staring at something completely different. Shaking his head, Sasuke filled up his own glass and shot it back, swallowing it without even making The Face everyone tended to make when drinking.

"You want some more?" he asked Kiba. Altho', he didn't think Kiba should drink anymore, given that he was _already drunk_.

"No, 'm good... Go'na pass out."

Sighing, Sasuke stood up and helped his old friend onto the bed. "There you go, dumbass."

With one last shot warming down his throat and one last glass at a passed out Kiba, Sasuke grabbed his car keys and exited the room.

* * *

Sakura's head was still reeling.

The red numbers glowing on Sakura's nightstand ticked past four-twenty-nine in the morning. So there was no sleep, tonight, Sakura decided with a dejected sigh. She sat up, and rubbed her eyes. Maybe a glass of water would help, or something...

But as Sakura slipped out of bed, and slid her feet into worn pink slippers, she couldn't help but go over in her head, again and again, what Sasuke had said - done - _been_.

A smile worked it's way across her face, and Sakura wondered how on earth they'd managed to pull off so perfectly oblivious to each other.

Sometimes, things like that just didn't make sense.

But then, matters of the heart were rarely easy to decipher.

And boys were dumb.

Duh.

Sakura sighed, and headed out into the hallway. The air in the house felt cold against her legs, and Sakura shuffled down the stairs in a housecoat, into the kitchen. Maybe not water, but - hm, herbal tea. That definitely had possibilities.

She set the kettle to boil.

* * *

Sasuke had driven drunk before.

Actually, Sasuke had driven _shitfaced-about-to-pass-out _drunk before. And he was still alive. Sure, all that was bad and wrong and whatever else - but, fuck, it happens, right? Right now? He counted this as sober driving. He wasn't even seeing blurs of anything yet. Seriously.

Though, that didn't change his chaotic speed.

Which is why he arrived, and parked, in front of Sakura's house exactly eight minutes after he left his own home. Locking the doors, Sasuke walked up her walkway and headed to the front porch. He stood there for a second, trying to get rid of all the fucking shivers the cold winter air was making his body make.

And then he whipped out his phone.

**From: Sasuke  
To: Sakura  
open your front door**.

* * *

Sakura's phone (always tucked somewhere on her body - it didn't matter what time of day it was) beeped at her.

She pulled it out of her housecoat pocket, and glared down at it.

Who the _hell_ was texting her at four-thirty in the morning?

...

Sasuke.

Of course.

Sakura bit her lip to keep from smiling.

**From: Sakura  
To: Sasuke  
hold on, silly. you're lucky i'm even awake**.

Sakura practically _ran_ towards the front door. She wrestled with the doorknob for a half-minute, and when she finally did manage to get it open, she stared at Sasuke, still dressed in black and stand in the cold.

Sakura couldn't stop the shy little grin that took root on her lips.

"Hi," she breathed.

* * *

He stared at her, and he couldn't help but allow that stupid idiotic grin to come to his lips. His eyes darted around the inside of her house before he stepped inside, closing the door behind him and gathering her in his arms.

Sasuke placed butterfly kisses down her jaw until he reached her mouth... and, well, you know... they began to kiss. Which was _fucking fine_ with him. Of course, you can't blame him for growling when she pulled away, a soft glare in her eyes and a giggle escaping past her lips.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Drinking again," she asked placidly.

Sasuke smirked and followed her into the kitchen.

"What're you doing up at this hour," he asked in a mumble.

"What are _you_ doing in my house at this hour?" She countered.

Sasuke smirked and leaned against the counters, "There's a drunk idiot on my bed."

"Dirty," Sakura said as she giggled.

Blinking, Sasuke's slow-for-the-moment brain processed what she meant. When it hit him, his eyes widened before they narrowed. "_Hell _no. I'm not _gay_, Sakura."

* * *

Sakura couldn't help but giggle some more.

Sasuke being gay.

It was so absurd; she couldn't have been laughing at it. Not really, anyway, because, well, it was what had brought them together-ish in the first place. Gay boys (oh, Sai, you _bitch_). Sakura shook her head ruefully, and laughed softly. She stood up on tiptoe, and pressed her nose against his - he felt like ice. "I know you aren't."

He was _smirking_. "I know you know. I've proven it."

"That's true." Sakura paused, and squirmed away from him - the cold still clung to him like a blanket. "You're cold."

He was _still smirking_. "Warm me up, then."

Sakura had a minor aneurysm. It was way too early in the morning for this. She could still taste the alcohol on his breath. "You're perverted when you're drunk."

His eyes flashed. "I'm _not_ drunk."

"Uh-huh, sure you're not," Sakura deadpanned.

"Sakura, six shots is _not_ going to get _me_ drunk."

Sakura kind of loved it when Sasuke looked annoyed. There was just something that was - god, there was something _hot_ about it.

(It was way, way, _way_ too early in the morning for this. There was definitely going to be regret on her plate, in the morning. And maybe hooker heels. Like a classy walk of shame. Or something. Sakura didn't even know.)

She shivered, and managed to worm her way underneath his jacket. It was warm in there (away from the cold outer layers of his clothing; somehow, Sasuke was _always_ warm, and Sakura adored it. Sasuke was _never_ cold), and Sakura promptly cuddled into him like a security blanket.

"You're silly," she told his neck softly.

* * *

He kinda, you know, shivered at that.

Had he not been wearing long sleeves, the goose-bumps prickling his skin would have been ever evident. Sasuke's neck was _the spot_; you know, _the spot_. Hopefully, Sakura hasn't noticed it, tho'.

Smirking, he wrapped his arm around her waist and buried his face in her hair. Sakura always smelled good - it was kind of addicting.

"You're annoying," he mumbled.

"Am I?"

"Hn."

"Yup. You're silly, Sasuke."

Rolling his eyes, he pulled away once he heard the whistling of a kettle. "You should go get that."

Sakura blinked. "Oh. Yeah. Hold on."

As she walked towards the stove... Well... Sasuke just admired certain stuff. Yeah.

* * *

Tea, tea, Sakura did love tea. It was kind of like an old friend, Sakura thought; it was always there, and easy to rely on, and always tasted good. - Wait. No. That came out wrong. ASGHJKL, SHE DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAAAT.

And then Sakura realized that she was making absolutely no sense, and shut her inner monologue up.

There had to be better ways to do this.

Sakura poured boiling water into the tea pot, and dunked a tea bag (it was either Ginger-Peach, White Pomegranate, or Coconut Green; Sakura couldn't remember which one she'd grabbed) into the booiling hot water. She placed the cover back on the top, to let it steam, and went to grab a cup, or two.

"Want some?" she called over her shoulder softly.

Sakura didn't really know why she was being quiet; Tsunade was on another trip, and the house was empty, so, really, she didn't _have_ to be quiet.

"Nope," Sasuke called back, just as quiet.

"Are you sure? It's really good. And warm."

"Hn."

Sakura mixed a generous dollop of honey into the hot tea. Quiet, quiet, they were quiet because quiet was nice. Not fighting was nice. And, at this ungodly hour, it almost seemed sacrilegious, to make noise.

It was easier to forget that the rest of the world existed, when they were quiet.

"Just try some. For me?" she asked, and held out a mug of unsweetened. "Please?"

* * *

His eyes darted from the mug and back towards her face; this continued for about another second before he reluctantly took his hands out of his pockets and grabbed the mug. His palms instantly began to warm at the heat that the mug was extracting. Blowing at the steam, he took a sip.

"There," he said, licking his lips and looking back up at her.

"See? It's good, right?"

Sasuke shrugged a shoulder, "I suppose."

"Told you so," she murmured, nearing him and nuzzling his throat.

He placed the mug down on the surface of the counters behind him and settled for loosely wrapping his arms around her. Sasuke wasn't much for cuddling, but, fuck. This was _Sakura _and everything was different for Sasuke when it came to her. Hell, he had been _grinning_. When the hell did Sasuke grin (other than when he was drunk off his ass)?

Exactly.

"So... Your room - it has a TV, right? And a bed... Let's go to your room."

* * *

Sakura was sleepy.

Bedtime?

Yes, bedtime was good.

(Technically, there were two rooms she could invade. But the one she'd been sleeping in - and the one that had the TV - that was upstairs. The other room - well, Sakura didn't go in there much, anymore. It made her too sad. Not that that was really a problem, anymore.

Sakura looked at Sasuke, and smiled.)

Sakura nodded, and leaned into Sasuke. He was her stupid boyfriend. Really, she didn't know why no one else saw it; he was stupid and she was stupid and _everyone was stupid_. There was no getting around that fact.

"Upstairs," she murmured quietly.

"Let's go then," he murmured back, too close, too close, _not close enough_, Sakura didn't think he could _ever_ be close enough, never, never, _never_.

"Mhmm," she murmured sleepily.

Silly Sasuke.

* * *

Sasuke led her upstairs, taking the directions she mumbled to him; he didn't ask why she was sleeping upstairs rather than the room downstairs. Sasuke's stupidity had it's limit. And at the thought of the _why _- well... it kind of made him cringe. And he didn't want to cringe or feel like shit anymore.

He entered her room after her, looking around and settled down on the edge of the bed. Instincts kicked in, and like he'd normally do when he entered his own room, he took off his jackets and his shirts. Turning around, Sasuke blinked at the sight of Sakura.

Oh, right. He was in her room. Right.

"Come here," he mumbled, waving her over.

"Huh?" Blinking confusedly, she walked towards him, asking, "Are you okay?"

Sasuke fought the urge to roll his eyes. Leave it to Sakura to wonder if he was alright or anything. When she was within reach, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her down, over him and kissed her neck... and her throat. And her jaw. And her lips.

"Miiine," he drawled.

* * *

Sakura didn't even want to comment on the ridiculousness of that statement.

Really.

But being cuddled up next to Sasuke, head tucked under his chin; it felt - right, in some weird way that Sakura wasn't quite used to, yet. She just - she just - she didn't even know what it was, not really. But it was something like wind over off a cliff, taste of the sky, freedom, maybe.

But Sakura didn't really know.

"I missed you," she mumbled against his throat.

He would probably never know how much.

But that was okay, she guessed.

* * *

Sasuke heard it, and he kind of tensed at it.

Because - well, whatever. He didn't want to think about that anymore. He was here now, right? That's what mattered... Not that Sasuke was going to say that aloud; he had a limit to this... weird change he was going through around Sakura. And going all... sappy wasn't on the list.

Besides, wouldn't she know about it, already?

So, instead, he just tightened his hold around her.

And then he rolled them around so she was flat on her back and he was hovering above her.

Looking down at her, he smirked.

"Do you want something?"

Still smirking, Sasuke said, "Yeah. You."

"Really." Sakura raised an eyebrow and stared at him.

Running his lips against her jawline he muttered, "Yup."

"...Isn't it a little late - early - _something,_ for this?"

"It's never a little anything for sex, Sakura."

"I think you're crazy," Sakura deadpanned.

"I might be," he muttered back, pulling away from his advances to show her his smirk.

"You definitely are."

And he just kissed her.

* * *

No.

_No_.

_**No**_.

Sakura didn't want this. _Not_ right now - _not_ when her head was still reeling and everything still sort of hurt, even with that odd wisp of freedom, flaunting itself dangerously, tauntingly, at the edges of Sakura's conscious. She was sleepy, and tired, and -

And she still didn't trust him enough to not leave, again.

But just - _no_.

When she pulled away, it was hard to breathe. "Sasuke, stop."

She felt, rather then heard, the sigh that escaped his lips. "What's wrong?"

Nothing. Everything. And he was too close, too close, Sakura couldn't deal with this - and she didn't know how to phrase what she wanted to say. Nothing. Everything. She wanted to explain, but the words evaded her like wisps of smoke against a blue sky.

So she stayed quiet, for a moment, and tried to let the words form behind closed eyelids.

Sasuke's weight lifted off of her body, and Sakura didn't need to see his face to know that he was annoyed-disappointed-_Sasuke_. "Forget it-" and Sakura listened to him breathe "-let's just go to sleep."

The words formed, then. Sakura watched them roll past the back of her eyelids, and she knew - she knew she had to say them. She and Sasuke lay in the darkness, for a minute. The silence rang deep in Sakura's mind. She opened her eyes, and spoke towards the ceiling.

"I love you, Sasuke - but I don't trust you."

* * *

He had his eyes closed, already calling for sleep and everything. He wasn't going to _force _her into anything; Sasuke's asshole-ness had it's limit, after all.

But when he heard her say that, his eyes snapped open. He didn't move, still had his arm resting on his forehead, was as still as any human being could possibly be. His mind continue to replay her words; like that stupid, broken tape-recorder that Kiba's words had been earlier that night. He weighed the words, relished on how _heavy _they actually were...

And he also knew that she had every right to not trust him.

He may not remember _much _of that night, but he knew that they slept together. He slept _with _her - _next _to her. And while she was still asleep, the morning after... he _left_. Right? That's how the story went?

Why would she trust him after that?

"That," he finally croaked, "That's okay."

"It's fair, right?"

Sasuke gave a curt nod against the pillow, "Of course."

She turned her face towards him. "Just kiss me, and let it mean something, Sasuke."

Again, Sasuke froze. Because the back of his mind knew he'd heard those words before. But he didn't relish in it any longer. Because, fuck... Just fuck. He moved closer to her, leaning his weight on his right elbow and cupped her cheeks with one hand.

Slowly, he pressed his lips to hers.

* * *

No one kissed like Sasuke kissed, Sakura mused quietly.

He kissed like it was going to last.

And she started to cry.

(Or something like that.)

Sasuke felt something wet trickling to his thumbs and, instantly, he pulled away. "Why are you crying?"

Sakura shook her head. "I dunno." It wasn't completely a lie, right? That had to count for something, because it wasn't _completely_ a lie... There was definitely some truth in it, Sakura thought briefly. She didn't really know _why_ she was crying.

It wasn't a lie.

"Did I do something wrong again?"

Sakura wondered if that was panic in his voice. Probably not. "No."

"Sakura..." and her name came out a growl.

"Really, Sasuke, you didn't."

"Then what's _wrong_?" The frustration layered on his voice was palpable, and Sakura was sad in a fuzzy-blurry way.

"I don't know," she said.

It was very quiet for a moment, and Sakura realized that it didn't matter how close Sasuke got, it was _never close enough_. Even when it was. Wait, that didn't make sense, and - why was she even _thinking_ about this?

"Will you still be here in the morning?"

Sakura didn't want to know how desperate she sounded.

* * *

Oh.

_That_.

Sasuke stared at her; because, even in the dark he knew where her eyes were. And he just stared at her. If he were any other person right now, he'd be murmuring sweet-nothingness of pure reassurance. He'd be showering her with kisses, fingering her hair. Anything.

But he didn't. Because... he didn't know why he didn't. Maybe he didn't know how? Maybe he was slightly mortified at that? Maybe... Maybe, maybe.

But what he did do was lean his forehead against hers and murmured a soft, "Yes."

"Promise?"

Sasuke kissed her, and against her lips he said, "I promise."

And before he could move away, one of Sakura's arm was around his neck while the other one fingered the waistband of his boxers... which peeked from above his jeans that, as usual, were riding low on his hips. Sasuke was soon engulfed in everything that had to do with Sakura.

Her smell.

Her taste.

Her _everything_.

And Sasuke was lost in something he wouldn't mind never coming out of.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Sakura woke up, comfortable and safe.

"Good morning," she mumbled with a smile.

"Adsh."

"Very coherent."

"Mmmmmm."

"I have to get to school, silly," she murmured, fingers tangled through his in the early morning light.

Sasuke grumbled. "Noooo," he muttered, and rolled on top of her.

Sakura felt bare skin, weight, and heat. She giggled, and squirmed away from him. "You're fat, get off. Sasuke, I _do_ have to get to Psych."

"...I am not fat."

* * *

The nerve, a voice in the back of Sasuke's mind huffed.

Right now, he was too tired to care about anything. He was practically functioning on no sleep - let's see, he met up with Sakura (also known as Superstar - god, it was going to take a while before that sunk in) at around three in the morning, talking-arguing-kissing Sakura took him over thirty to forty minutes, then he met up with the Mutt and they solved their own issues; that's an hour entirely that passed with those events. At around four fifteen he arrived at Sakura's, add ten minutes in the kitchen, six minutes of talking-arguing and... Well (he mentally smirked here), you know.

So all in all, they barely got two to three hours of sleep, if not one.

God, Sasuke was going to be in an awful mood today.

He pulled away from Sakura, sitting up and running a hand through his messy hair. "What's the point of you going; you'll just be talking to me, again."

Sakura giggled and shifted around, getting out of bed. "I have to be there, dummy. We do other things, too."

Sasuke rolled his stinging eyes and sighed. "Fine, fine. I have some business to handle anyway."

* * *

Sakura bent down, pressed her lips against Sasuke's cheek, and went to find some clothing.

"Where did my bra go...? Sasuke, where did you throw my bra?"

Sasuke jerked his head in a very vague manner. "Somewhere over there, I wasn't paying attention."

Sakura rolled her eyes. _Honestly_.

She glanced at the clock, and _eeped_. "_Shit_, Sasuke, I'm _late_! I'll see you later, okay?"

Thirty seconds later, she was out the front door, still pulling her shirt over her head. Oh well, it wasn't like this was anything new; Sakura was pretty sure the neighbors had gotten used to her escaping and/or returning to her house half-dressed enough times that it was pretty normal for them.

"Bye!" she yelled over her shoulder, and she was gone.

* * *

Sasuke fought the urge to just go back to sleep.

He fought it with all the strength he had, and he had been losing - like, the pillows and the covers and the warmness looked so... so inviting. But at the last minute, Sasuke got up, got dressed and made a quick pit-stop to the bathroom.

Rubbing at his eyes, he walked down the stairs and exited Sakura's house - not before locking the door, of course.

In his car, Sasuke stared at the streets, dark eyes cloudy. He had been suppressing his anger at his brother for a long while; actually, he had been wondering, quite honestly, what kind of drugs he had been on. Because, really, did he _want _Hana to castrate him in the worst way possible?

Either way, Itachi pissed him off - more than usual.

He should go fulfill his duty as, not only a friend (ew), but as a younger brother and go knock Itachi's teeth out.

Seriously.

Shaking his head and blinking his eyes until they remained open, he gunned the engine and drove off towards his house.

* * *

.

* * *

Shisui was comfortably curled up on the couch, in the crook of Itachi's arm.

There was some stupid romantic comedy flashing across the TV screen, but she was more content then she'd been in a long time (uh, so, was this was requited love felt like? It was was kind of nice. Shisui liked it. Clearly, her life had been lacking in this), if a little uncomfortable.

"Hey, Ita?"

"Hm?"

"Move your arm a little, please? Your collarbone is... bony."

He didn't even grunt; he just shifted, a little. Shisui sunk into him with a smile, and closed her eyes. Falling asleep, right then, would have been so, so, _so_ easy...

* * *

She was... something, when she was almost-sleepy.

From the corner of his eye, Itachi watched her as she made herself at home in his arms. He didn't normally use words like "snuggling" or "cuddling" or, God forbid, "_cute_", but this was... it was acceptable. More than acceptable, in fact. Why had he been stubbornly resisting _this_.

He let himself drift off a bit and rest his head on top of Shisui. Her hair smelled familiar and Itachi was beginning to suspect his red pressed shirt was beginning to smell like it. It was comforting, the way pears, silk, and caramel naturally _stuck_ to him. At the same time, it was frightening, how much she was becoming part of him. A world without her...

A chill ran down his spine at the thought and he thought his grip tightened on her just a little bit.

But she was still laying in his arms.

There... maybe being dependent on her for happiness... Maybe it wouldn't be that bad.

* * *

Sasuke parked in his favorite parking spot: the driveway of his house.

He hadn't really paid much attention, yesterday, at how much he had actually missed his home. Like the plants his mother planted in the front yard, and the lawn-mower that his father almost always kept pressed in the corner-juncture where the front porch connected with the garage. He never realized any of that.

...Ew.

Was he getting emotional?

Ew.

He must _really _be tired.

Sasuke blinked and scoffed at himself. Shaking his head he got out of the car and walked up the walkway, up the three steps of the front porch and to the front door. He tried the knob - it was locked. Blinking his stinging eyes, he shoved his key into the keyhole and unlocked-opened the door.

Now, Sasuke's plan was to go upstairs and sleep the whole afternoon until he was prepared to handle his mother's shrieks. But... Something in the living room caught his attention. Maybe it was the cheesy line, and maybe it was his curiosity to know who the hell would be watching a movie like that.

The point was that he made a detour to the living room. He stopped right at the entrance and he stared at the couch.

Ew.

Well, there was his first and original target. Itachi was cuddled up next to... Sasuke squinted his eyes at the girl. He didn't recognize her, sort of. She had dark curls for hair and...

...Shisui?

Really?

Itachi was cuddled up next to _Shisui. _Now, Sasuke knew Itachi and Shisui were close and whatever other sappy crap people would say. But... Really?

He felt his right eyeball twitch.

Either way, Sasuke walked into the living room, full set on... Dude, he didn't even know _what _the fuck he was going to do because everything in his muddled mind went out the window when his eyes feasted upon his _brother _and his _cousin _kissing.

On the _mouth_.

Like... what _couples _do.

What?

"You sick _fuck_," was all he muttered before Sasuke's fist went flying and he punched Itachi in the nose. Not all that gently.

* * *

"You sick _fuck_."

At the words, Itachi whipped away, confused at the words before he felt this pressure on his face and the world seemed somewhat... bright, like he was seeing stars or some cliche thing like that.

He was bleeding.

That was the first thing Itachi noticed after he got his bearings back- the liquid falling down his face and the coppery tinge in the air.

But then the pain came on like a hurricane and he tilted his head forward while simultaneously pinching his nose as gingerly as possible to prevent it from bleeding all over. Glaring at his younger brother, he asked coldly, "I see you're back from your little_ trip_. What gives you the right to come back and _punch me_?"

* * *

Sasuke smirked coldly, watching the blood drip down Itachi's chin in fascination.

"That," Sasuke hissed, "Is for being a fucking manwhore."

And because he fucked with Kiba. And Kiba was his friend. And Itachi had no right to fuck with Kiba - fucking with Kiba was Sasuke's thing. It was like a written rule - Kiba and Sasuke made each other's life miserable and ITACHI SUCKED MAJOR BALLS.

God.

* * *

Shisui sat there for thirty seconds, and stared between the two brothers.

Her boyfriend had blood dripping down his face.

Her boyfriend's little brother looked like he was about to throttle something.

It was _funny_.

Shisui snorted.

"You two," she told them both, "are _ridiculous_. Itachi, come here, you're bleeding. Sasuke, don't punch him again, that was rude, there are better ways to deal with your gender issues then taking them out on Itachi."

"I'm fine," Itachi growled. "I'd feel even better if there was even distribution of blood between brothers."

"Itachi, _no_!"

He actually had the audacity to _grin slyly_ at her. "Kiss it better?"

"You're awful. Are you _trying_ to give Sasuke a heart attack?"

Sasuke looked awfully horrified, but then again, Shisui couldn't really blame him. "WHAT? What the fuck is going _on_? I leave for two weeks and I come back to THIS?"

"…Yes?" Shisui said, blinking.

"…You're both fucking fucked in the brain."

Itachi smirked, the corners of his mouth tipping upwards. "Leave for another two weeks and you can see what else can happen in two weeks."

"…_You_ shut the fuck up before I actually break your nose," Sasuke almost snarled.

"Would you drive me to the hospital?" Itachi asked, all innocence.

"No. I'd let you bleed and die."

Shisui shook her head. "You don't need the hospital, stupid. Just your head forward, it'll stop bleeding."

"So you'd clean up the carpet and be there for Mother when she bemoans her youngest son killing her oldest for something incoherent and foolish?"

"Pretty much. It's better than having to accept you're still _alive_."

"Why do you take issue with my being alive?"

There were waves of evil emanating from the doorway to the kitchen. Shisui looked around, and saw Mikoto, looking thunderous. "Your mother is going to kill you _anyway_," she growled.

"'Tachi. Shut— Uh... Hi mom."

Mikoto continued to look like a thundercloud. "Yes, _hi mom_. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

"…Uh… Around…" Sasuke muttered, looking awkward.

"Well, you weren't around _here_, foolish little brother."

That was when Shisui decided that Itachi was an extenuating circumstance, and he was likely the reason that Sasuke was such a problem child.

"…Would you kindly _shut the fuck up_?" Sasuke hissed at him.

"Language, language, little brother…" Itachi tutted.

Under his breath, Sasuke muttered "I am going to _kill_ this asshole…"

Mikoto did not look impressed _at all_.

Shisui winced. "…Guys, she's getting a twitch. I'd be quiet, if I were you."

Sasuke stayed quiet. Itachi smirked. Shisui was tempted to bang her head against a wall.

"Itachi, you're bleeding on the carpet, please take it to the kitchen. And you, young man," here, Mikoto paused, and levelled a deadly glare in Sasuke's general direction, "you and I need to have a little chat about _leaving without telling me, and nearly giving me heart failure."_

"...I... I left a note," Sasuke said, cautious.

All that did was enrage the Uchiha matriarch. "YOU DIDN'T CALL."

"I left a _note_!" Sasuke repeated, looking a little alarmed.

Itachi smirked, yet again. "Shisui, could you please show me where the first-aid kit is?"

Shisui shook her head, slowly. God, the man was _hopeless_. "...Itachi, you're going to get yourself killed. Auntie, I'm going to fix him up."

"Yes, dear, go ahead," she said with a nod in Shisui's general direction. During the ten seconds that Mikoto's attention had been diverted, Sasuke had looked like he was about to make a break for it; he was inching backward.

Mikoto was having none of that. "Get back here, Uchiha Sasuke, I am NOT FINISHED YELLING AT YOU, YET."

"Sleep. Sasuke wants sleep..."

"You're talking in third person," Itachi said, almost gleeful.

"...'Tachi. _Fuck_ _off_."

Mikoto's left eyeball twitched. "Sasuke will NOT BE SLEEPING until he EXPLAINS TO HIS MOTHER why he felt the need to NOT EVEN CALL ONCE. AND WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE."

Sasuke winced.

Mikoto continued, her voice rising every word. "YOU ARE LUCKY I DID NOT FILE A MISSING PERSON'S REPORT!"

Sasuke winced a second time. "Mom. I'm _right_ _here_. Can you please stop yelling?"

…Shisui thought that that was probably _not_ the smartest thing Sasuke had ever said.

Mikoto's face darkened, and her voice rose an octave. "_NO_. DO YOU HAVE _ANY_ _IDEA_ HOW _PANICKED_ I WAS WHEN YOU DIDN'T COME HOME?"

"I left a _note_," Sasuke tried again, for the third time.

It didn't take. "THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT BETTER. WHY DIDN'T YOU _CALL_? YOU COULD HAVE _DIED_ AND I WOULDN'T HAVE _KNOWN_!"

"Mom, I'm _alive_. And I was with _Lee_. Okay? I was with Lee and Gaara and Kiba. Would you _calm_ _down_? You're freaking me out."

Mikoto stared at him, then, for a good thirty seconds.

And then she threw herself on him, sobbing incoherently, and screeching about how he was utterly useless, and _far_ too much like his father.

Sasuke awkwardly patted her on the back, and Shisui, grinning, pulled Itachi out of the family room and into the kitchen, to get him cleaned up.

* * *

As they passed through the dark hallway on the way to the kitchen, Itachi pulled Shisui back slightly and crushed her against the wall with his body.

"... Hi there."

As he kissed her on the nose, he smiled a crooked grin.

"You still haven't kissed me better, you know."

"You're covered in blood. It's icky."

He pouted. It was another thing he wasn't used to- this ability to be playful. Perhaps it wasn't a natural part of his... well, nature, but... it had its perks.

"But if we clean me up and patch me together, I'll be all better. I wouldn't _need_ you to kiss me better because I'd _be_ better."

Pulling away, Itachi walked into the kitchen, leaving Shisui to follow him.

"I might kiss you anyway, even if you're all better." Her voice was all... _persuasive_ and Shisui-y. Truth be told, Itachi wasn't too upset about not getting kisses now. Somewhere in his throat was this icky feeling, like dried blood rubbing against skin. That cupric taste wasn't disappearing and it made him want to gag until it went away.

As Shisui got the first aid kit, Itachi went for the top drawer over the sink, grabbed a glass and drank from it. Slowly, the taste went away, but it wasn't quite gone. As he refilled the glass, Shisui grabbed a rag and dipped it in the water quickly before withdrawing it to wipe at his face. It came away, looking ... well, bloody.

"He got me..." His voice is quiet and contemplative, but based on Shisui's reaction, something made her wary. "Well..."

* * *

"You did kind of deserve it," she told him gently.

"How did I deserve it? What I deserve is to prove why I am the older brother and he's the foolish little brother." Itachi wanted revenge, Shisui could tell.

"You _deserved_ it because you like screwing with him, and that's just not nice." Shisui told him succinctly.

"That's because he screws back and he must be taught to respect his elders– and betters." Yeah, Itachi _really_ wanted his revenge.

Shisui gave him a rather stern look. "If you hurt him, Ita, I won't touch you for a week."

Yes, Shisui was the type to withhold sexual favours to get what she wanted. No, she did not see this as a problem in any way, shape, or form. When one fought with Uchiha Itachi, one had to pull out the big guns.

A wicked smirk crossed his face. "That's okay. I'll touch you, then."

Shisui actually almost blushed. "You are an _awful_ person."

"And that's why you love me."

Shisui raised an eyebrow. "And what makes you think I'd _let_ you touch me?"

"You mean other than because you just spent almost a full movie cuddling with me? You initiated said snuggling." Then he looked horrified, and said "... I can't believe I just said that."

"...You just used "snuggle" as a verb. Are you okay?" Shisui touched a hand to his forehead. "I'm taking your temperature..."

Itachi grabbed her hand, and dragged his thumb across the soft skin on the inside of her wrist. "Nothing that touching you can't fix," he murmured, husky and slow.

Had Shisui been the type that blushed, she would have. Instead, she took a step back, pinned him with a dangerous stare, and said "Whoa, mister. Nuh-uh. Not until you promise to be nice to Sasuke."

Itachi looked pained. "Shisui. That's how our relationship is. It's something that won't change. He'll screw with me and I'll screw back. It's a cycle. Call it a... method of demonstrating affection. Not screwing with each other is synonymous with withholding love when it comes to us."

"So it's exactly what I'm doing to you right now? Withholding love, that is." But to refute her point entirely, Shisui went back to wiping his face with the wet rag.

"No. Because screwing around with Sasuke's head doesn't make me sad. It makes me quite happy, as a matter of fact."

"And that's because you're awful."

"Well, it makes him happy too, if not a bit frustrated."

Shisui's hand wavered, and then dropped. "I kind of doubt that. There, all done, the blood's gone."

"Thank you," he murmured, and dropped a kiss on her lips. "I think the yelling from the living room has died down a bit too."

Shisui nodded, her forehead against Itachi's chest. She told him "You are ridiculous. You really, really are."

* * *

The ends of his mouth curved into a smirk. He knew that Shisui couldn't see it, but he was nearly certain he wouldn't care if she did. Being vulnerable and emotional and not-cold was okay around her, Itachi told himself firmly. He could be real because she was herself and he was Itachi. They'd break a few rules, but that's what rules were for. He could be the devil or the saint if he felt like it and... she wouldn't let him go for such a small thing.

His arm held Shisui tightly around her waist as he buried his nose in her and rocked to some song in his head.

* * *

_I watch you spin around in your highest heels_  
_You are the best one, of the best ones_  
_We all look like we feel_.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**DAYUM GIRL. please review, because: we write, you review, we write more. :D**


	40. how to prove one's spine of steel

we're all about the fireflies. :)  
**disclaimer**: hey, if we get sued for this, that would kind of suck, you know? so, disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to having someone to ground you, when you feel like you're adrift. to having someone who actually _cares_. to early birthdays and late condolences. to Earl Grey tea. to Clue. to Glee. to _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_. to truth & to love.

**Sara feels like she's losing you again**: you're the part of me that i don't want to see. TOO MUCH TO DO, NOT ENOUGH TIME TO DO IT IN. ACK, HELP.  
**sonya is loving**: best friends & t-swift. even if i don't think she can sing... "the story of us" & "long live"... they're where it's at, my peeps (if i have any). &&& JARED LETO OHMYGAWD.  
**les fist pumps like the jersey shore peeps**: PAINT THE WORLD ORANGE AND LOVE THE SF GIANTS, BITCHES.

* * *

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.

.

* * *

Hinata's eyeball twitched.

This was not happening.

_This was not happening_.

THIS WAS NOT HAPPENING. IT WAS NOT.

(Hanabi, standing a ways behind her sister, was a little worried. That was a violent twitch, and there were _waves of evil_ emanating off her elder sister. That only happened when it was something really, really, _really bad_, and it usually involved prolonged exposure to their extended family.

Hanabi seriously didn't blame Hinata.)

"Daddy," Hinata said, primly, "I am leaving. I am not coming back until you agree to rent a hotel, because I _will not_ allow mother's house to be _raped_ by a bunch of _ungrateful morons_." And with that, the tiny girl whipped around, long indigo hair dancing behind her, and marched upstairs.

Hiashi looked flabbergasted. "I- what just-?"

Hanabi studied her nails. "Yes, Father, I know. I know."

* * *

**From: Hina-chan  
To: Candii; Sak-ura; Tennie MacDaddy; Ino-chan  
I AM GOING TO KILL HIM. I AM. I AM. ASDFGHJKL. HELP ME. FATHER'S GOING CRAZY ABOUT THIS STUPID BANQUET. And he told me to tell that if you don't wear pretty dresses, he's going to throttle you with his bare hands.**

* * *

Hinata didn't know if they were going to get it or not; her phone had been malfunctioning ever since she'd dropped it in the snow.

She sighed, and ignored the shiver that worked its way up her spine. She rubbed her arms, her breath coming out in a cloud of opaque smoke. Her friends were... better. Time did that, Hinata supposed. Two weeks, and they were all putty, melted and gooey and _icky_.

But then, it really was a good thing.

Because now Hinata didn't have to deal with the mountains of angst that seemed to have surrounded her friends for so long.

So.

Yeah.

Hinata sighed, and rubbed her temples.

It was going to be a long, long, _long_ day.

* * *

**From: Snow White  
To: Hokage  
Uhm. Are you busy?**

**From: Hokage  
To: Snow White  
Nope. Just finished, actually. What's up?**

* * *

Naruto grabbed the seven paged essay out of the printer and stapled it. He dumped it on top of his flashy orange backpack and then stood in the middle of the room.

What to do?

Kiba and Sasuke were back in Konoha and they had (THANK GOD) fixed things up with their girls. Suigetsu and his chick were on good terms, too (THANK GOD)... Neji... Yeah, he didn't want to talk about it. Kinda fucked up how Neji - the sanest of the five - got stuck with a psychopath for a girlfriend-of-some-sorts. But then again, Naruto didn't want to think about it because then he felt his balls breaking all over again.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

It was snowing out. Ew.

He didn't want to deal with the freezing cold but then again...

This was _Hinata_ and she was so _pretty_.

Naruto shook his head and disposed of himself onto his bed.

* * *

Hinata smiled at her phone.

Just like always.

He was - ACK, he was so cute.

And he was very, very good at calming her down, when she felt like she was about to go crazy from her family and her friends and just _everything_. He was so, so, _so_ good at it.

Hinata continued to smile.

* * *

**From: Snow White  
To: Hokage  
I just wanted to talk to you. My family's... oh, they're awful when they're like this.**

**From: Hokage  
To: Snow White  
Ohhhh. That. Um, y'wanna come over?**

* * *

SHE.

WAS.

SO.

PRETTY.

Enough said.

Actually, that was _all _his brain would tell him, around Hinata. It was kind of hard to process anything else. She was so small and delicate and evil and he _loved _it. Seriously... _Seriously_.

* * *

Hinata bit her lip.

He gave her butterflies. Right around her stomach. It went all clenchy and silly and _BUTTERFLIES, OKAY_. There was honestly no explaining it. EEK HE WAS SO CUTE. Hinata pushed her hair out of her face, and looked out the window. It was snowing.

Hinata loved the snow.

She loved it's soft, fluffy whiteness. It was just - magical.

Maybe they could go skating. Or build a snowman. Or something.

But it would be with Naruto, and that was what mattered.

* * *

**From: Snow White  
To: Hokage  
I'd love that. Let's go play in the snow!**

**From: Hokage  
To: Snow White  
Snow. Okay. Right. We'll do that.**

* * *

Naruto hated the snow.

He hated how cold it made him and how numb it made his fingers and how _cold it made him_. And that puff of fog that came out when he breathed? Yeah, he didn't like that either. And he didn't like the snow. Okay? He didn't.

Like that one time in their junior year in high school. Suigetsu and Sasuke were douche bags that day. Because, like, seriously _everyone _knew Naruto hated the snow and what did those two douche bags do? Shoved snow down his jeans.

The memory of them snickering and high-fiving (and Kiba laughing his ass off and Neji being annoyed) made him want to smack them upside the head.

But anyway.

Naruto hated the snow.

But for Hinata, he'd do it. (WHIPPED, said the voices in his head. But Naruto didn't care; at least _he _wasn't stupid enough to break up for no reason at all.

Yeah, he went there.)

* * *

Hinata grinned down at her phone again.

She practically danced down the stairs, and went to find a jacket and gloves. She grabbed her favourite pair of boots, brown suede, slouchy things that were worn and comfortable. She grabbed her favourite jacket, tugged it on over-top of Naruto's Pikachu hoodie (which she... kind of was not planning on giving back any time soon. She liked his hoodie), a scarf, a knit hat, and grabbed a pair of leather gloves. She shoved them in her pocket, zipped up her boots, and headed to the door.

She was just _waiting_ for someone to stop her.

No one did.

Hinata almost skipped out of the house.

Let them _try_ to stop her.

* * *

**From: Snow White  
To: Hokage  
Meet me at the park where we met, in like ten minutes?**

**From: Hokage  
To: Snow White  
Okay, I'm on my way.**

* * *

Sighing, Naruto left the warmness of his bed and stood up.

With a slouch, he walked to his closet picked out a hoodie to wear under a jacket and grabbed his favorite orange converses. Hastily, he placed his hood over his head, swiped blond hair out of his eyes and grabbed his keys and his cellphone.

He was out the door a minute later.

It was so _cold_. Oh my god, he wanted to go back _inside _and make some hot cocoa.

Seriously.

But either way, he manned up and went to go meet Hinata at the park.

Snowman. Huh.

He smiled.

* * *

Hinata stood in the middle of the park, scarf tucked around her neck, hat jammed on her head. It was one of those perfectly cold, perfectly clear winter days that just seemed to be so clean. The cold bit through Hinata's gloves, and she was sure that she was going to get frostbite, but it didn't even matter to her.

Hinata did love the snow, after all.

There was a group of kids taking advantage of the first thick snowfall of the year, who were in the midst of a snowball war. A good portion of the park was set off for this activity, and kids aged from what looked like four to twelve were throwing snowballs left and right.

The day was clear, and laughter rang true through the cold, empty air.

Hinata stood in the park, and waited for Naruto to show up.

* * *

By the time Naruto made it to the park, he was freezing his ass off.

Quite literally.

He tripped almost ten times, fell once and _don't _get him started on the snow that just so _happened _to decide to slip off it's perch on a roof _just _as he was passing by. God, he hated the snow.

There was a soft scowl on his face as he passed the gates to the park. His hands were stuffed way deep into his pockets, shoulders hunched, chin tucked into his sweater, hood lowered until it covered half of his eyes. God, he was _cold_.

Glaring, Naruto spared kids (he usually _loved _kids) playing with the snow a glance. He grumbled some incoherent things to himself and continued on his way.

As cliches went, once he caught sight of a little pixie-girl, his mood brightened ten fold.

A smile now adorning his lips, Naruto stealthily crept up behind the girl and gently covered her eyes with his hands. "Guess who!"

* * *

A pair of large, tan, _cold_ hands covered her eyes.

Hinata was tempted to shriek, but she _knew_ those hands. "Naruto-kun!"

She pushed his hands off, turned around, cheeks pink, threw her arms around his neck, and pressed her mouth against his, smiles tucked into the corners of her lips. When she pulled away, she glanced up at him, concerned. "Your hands are so cold, Naruto-kun... Why didn't you wear gloves?"

He looked a little embarrassed. "Ah... I kinda forgot..."

Hinata giggled softly. "How do you forget something like that, silly? Here, I'm warm."

She pulled her gloves off, ignored the fresh bite of the cold, linked her still-warm-from-the-gloves fingers through Naruto's, and stepped into the circle of his arms.

"Well, I was so excited to see you, I kinda forgot about a lot of things. I didn't even get my scarf!"

Hinata laughed, and reached up to pull her scarf off. She looped it around Naruto's neck, keeping grip on the ends. "You," she said, "should wear this." Then she tugged on the ends of the scarf, and brought his face down for another kiss.

* * *

Naruto smiled against her lips and picked her up and twirled her around.

Hinata was just too pretty - too adorable. He was very, very, very glad to have met her. Honestly, doing this penpal shit to spite Sasuke (and get him a girl) kinda came with its upside. He got himself the prettiest, amazingest girlfriend ever.

Seriously.

"Okay," he said, grin still on his lips. "Let's get your snowman started, yeah?"

"I'd like that. And then can we go get hot chocolate? It's cold out here." Her pale eyes were bright and shiny with excitement - Naruto was kind of surprised she wasn't off giggling like the kids he had passed. She made him smile more than he usually did.

He nodded. "Yeah, hot chocolate sounds nice right about now." He took a couple of steps away from her and looked down at the snow. Naruto fought the urge to hiss at it. Instead, he broke away from her and began to get to work on the snowman's lower circle-body-whatever. See? He totally hated snowmen, he didn't even remember the names of their limbs. "Okay, lets make this one a fat one."

Naruto gave her another grin and a wink.

* * *

Ten minutes into making the snowman, and Hinata had realized that Naruto _really_ didn't like the snow.

Which was a shame, really, because she loved it. But she wasn't going to put him through packing snow onto the bat little ball that would have been their snowman's body, not if it made him miserable, because that was just no fun.

Besides. She liked him better when he was grinning.

"Naruto-kun, why didn't you tell me you didn't like the snow?" she asked, a shy, knowing smile across her face.

"Huh? What makes you say that?"

Hinata kept smiling. "You keep wincing every time you touch it."

Naruto shook his head. "I'm just cold, Hinata-chan. Just cold."

Like Hinata _really_ believed that. She just looked at him, for a second, not moving. She took a breath of cold air into her lungs, and said "Come on, let's go get hot chocolate, now. It's cold, and there's a sweet little pastry shop just around the corner."

"Hinata-chan. It's _okay_. Let's just build your snowman first."

No, it was not okay. He was cold, and he looked like he really didn't like snow, and it wasn't fair of her to put him through this. He didn't have gloves, was wearing her scarf, and he looked _cold_. So, no, it was _not_ okay.

"The snowman doesn't matter so much," she said gently. "What matters is that we're together. So let's go get warmed up, please?"

Naruto stared at her, all blue eyes, blond hair, and tanned skin. "...Okay," he said at last. "Fine."

Hinata smiled like sunshine on the first true day of spring. "Let's go, then!"

And with that, she linked their hands, and gently pulled him off in the direction of the pastry shop.

* * *

Hot chocolate _did _sound like heaven, right about now.

Naruto decided he was gonna get himself two of them. With _marshmallows_. Oh, and maybe he'd get a croissant, too. Unless they had muffins...

He rolled his eyes at himself as he allowed Hinata to lead him to the pastry shop.

Actually, he felt a little angry at himself for letting his dislikes get in the way. He was actually looking forwards spending some time with Hinata, doing something _she _liked. But nooo, Naruto had to just hate the snow. Gosh. If he could kick himself, he totally would.

Once they got to the pastry shop, Naruto heard his stomach rumble.

He was kinda hungry...

In line, Naruto looked at the pastries and decided he actually wanted one of everything; by then, he had decided Suigetsu was wearing off on him. Grinning, he ordered two hot chocolates, a slice of carrot cake and a cinnamon roll.

Naruto turned to Hinata and grinned, watching her sit on their table and fiddle with her fingers.

She was so _pretty_.

"Here ya go, lover boy," said the middle aged woman with a knowing wink.

Naruto kind of blushed and grabbed the tray with the treats and the hot chocolates and made his way to his pretty girl.

* * *

Hinata stopped her fiddling when Naruto sat down; it wasn't a nervous habit, just a habit, something that she did when she was thinking. She blinked at him as he set the carrot cake down in front of her. "How did you know...? Carrot cake is my favourite!"

Naruto turned faintly red. "I... Uh... I just knew..."

Hinata didn't believe that for a _second_. She smiled out a question. "How?"

"Uh..."

Now, Hinata was not a pouter. She didn't like having to use her pouting power, because, well, for one thing, it was _cheating_. But for something like this?

She was _totally_ going to abuse it.

"Na-ru-to-kun, tell me, please?" Hinata asked, puppy eyes, sad pout, and all.

* * *

Naruto looked horrified as he stared at her pouting face.

Dear god she looked so adorable he wanted to pinch her cheeks and keep her; possibly hide her in his closet or under his bed or something. He furrowed his brow and looked away, clearing his throat and trying to think something up.

"Uh, I don't know. You just look like the kind of girl to like carrot cake."

Hinata stopped her pouting and raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh."

Naruto sat down, and looked out the window in embarrassment.

Oh gosh.

* * *

He wouldn't look at her! And he was _blushing_.

Hinata realized that she had just found out that apparently Naruto was completely defenseless against her pouting face.

...

She would use this power only for good, she swore!

Hinata laughed. "Oh, Naruto-kun, don't look so depressed, it's okay!"

"M'not depressed," he said. He was pouting at the window.

Hinata felt her knees tun to jelly. Apparently, the pouting-rule didn't work just one way. Damn it. "Then why won't you smile at me?"

"I _am_ smiling at you, see?" he smiled at her, the corner of his mouth lifting up.

"That's a grimace," Hinata said.

"Is so not."

"_I_ think it is," she told him, a playful little smile dancing across her lips.

"_I_ think it's not," but he was grinning now, something between a smile and a smirk that suited him in a very good way.

"You're silly," she said.

"You like me silly."

"I do."

He paused, and looked at her, eyebrow raised. "Oh...? What else do you like about me?"

Hinata looked at him, trying to decide how to phrase what he was asking. The way she liked him... It was abstract. But...

"I like... that you make me think of summer. I like that you're easy to talk to. I like your eyes when you grin. I like your grin. I like it when you drive me to school. I like it when we hold hands. I like standing next to you and knowing that you're _mine_. I like that you pick me up and swing me around when you hug me. I like that you don't let my family doesn't get in the way. I like you, all of you."

She paused, and asked "What d'you like about me?"

He grinned goofily at her.

That was a good sign.

"What _don't_ I like about you, is the better question... I like your spine. I like that glint in your eyes. I like how your nose crinkles when you smile. I like it when you laugh. I like how you make my heart beat fast. I like how you just fit perfectly against me. I like it when you message me at a random moment. I like you... I like you a lot."

Hinata turned bright, bright red.

"I like you a lot, too," she whispered.

* * *

With a grin making his eyes twinkle, Naruto leaned over the table, closer to her.

And then he pressed his lips against hers.

It was almost as amazing as the first time.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Karin was walking around the house in nothing but Suigetsu's sole blue button down shirt, again.

Even though it fell to mid-thigh, and she had to role up the sleeves twelve times just to use her hands (and she usually rolled them up more then that, because she liked having her arms bare up to her elbows), it was still the most comfortable piece of clothing he-she-they owned.

It was Monday morning, and Karin probably should have been at school.

But she wasn't.

She was wearing her boyfriend-person's clothes, sipping hot chocolate out of one of his mugs, and sitting on one of the chairs in his kitchen, watching February snow fall outside of the huge windows.

It was a good day.

* * *

The first thing that came out of Suigetsu's lips when his eyes snapped open was: "Holy shit, I'm going to miss class."

He shot out of bed, moving the covers away from him as he ran towards the bathroom to take a quick shower. All that (shower, teeth brushing, hair brushing) was done in a record of nine minutes. Just as quickly did he slide on his boxers, a pair of flannel pajamas to go underneath his skinnies (BECAUSE, FUCK IT WAS COLD OUT THERE) and a gray thermal shirt he took from Naruto's drawer that one day he got his shirt dirty at his house.

And, struggling to put on some black vans, he stepped outside (wasn't his backpack in the car? It had to be. Right.) and slammed himself against the wall. "Fuck, you stupid shit."

That's when he smelt hot cocoa in the air. He still wasn't all that sure if it had a scent to have in the air, but his nose was pretty sensitive when it involved food. Or Karin; but let's not say that aloud. He made his way to the kitchen and the first thing his eyes came to connect on was red hair.

A smirk came to his lips as he neared, burying his nose in her neck when he was close enough.

"Well," she said and Suigetsu could feel her smile in her words, "_Someone's _in a good mood."

He muffled something in her neck, way too lost in taking in her scent to actually care that she couldn't really understand him... Or that he was going to be extra late now.

"Fooooooood," he managed to say coherently enough.

* * *

"There's french toast on the counter," Karin told him with a soft laugh.

He stared, gape-mouthed, for a minuted, and then breathed "..._Fuck_ yeah."

And then he ran off to eat, and it was all Karin could do not to fall over laughing. Suigetsu was so predictable - food was probably his favourite thing. Silly boy, he really needed to do something about that.

Karin made no move to get up, and continued sipping her hot chocolate. He was late for class, and she - she was skipping school.

She'd forgotten how good it felt.

* * *

There are two things Suigetsu needed: one was food and the other was Karin.

That was it... (okay, if you wanted to get really specific, those four douche-bags made the cut, too).

So he was practically in heaven as he ate the french toast. His amethyst eyes landed on the grandfather clock in the living room and he almost choked. "_Fuck_, I'm fuckin' _late_." He turned to glare at Karin, "You - if you hadn't seduced me into fucking' you, I would have turned my alarm clock on."

At her sudden smirk, Suigetsu decided that life fucking hated him. "I _seduced _you, did I? That wasn't seducing. _This_ is seducing."

And then she started to unbutton her (his) shirt.

Suigetsu's eyes went wide. "No - Karin - keep that shit on, I'm already fuckin' late... Karin - _quit it_."

His eyes remained glued on her hands.

* * *

He was so easily distractable.

And he really needed to play hooky with her, once in a while.

Two buttons down and undone, Karin paused, and looked up at him, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Don't you have to get to school?"

Suigetsu was staring at her chest. That was not anything new. But the long time it took his brain to connect the fact that she was talking made her giggle, and when he finally managed to pry his eyes away from the fact that she was generally stripping in front of him, all he said was "...I'm sorry, what?"

Karin smiled lazily at him. "Don't you have an English lecture, or something? Or you could just... ditch it..."

And then she went back to unbuttoning her (his) shirt.

* * *

He wasn't coherent to grasp _anything _she said - just a muffled noise.

But... that lecture... And... He was late last week and not to mention he didn't even _make _it the week before that and he couldn't just be late another Monday, let alone skip. So he shook his head, scrunched his eyes closed and looked away.

"Can't. I gotta go-"

"Oh yeah," without his consent, he turned towards her and he gawked at her completely naked form. "Here's your shirt back."

Suigetsu swallowed and he took in everything that was... well, there... "Karin..."

He wasn't really sure how he got so close to her and when he started to kiss her.

* * *

Well.

_This_ was an experience.

And he was _so_ predictable.

"Please stay," Karin mumbled, breathing the words into him. His hands were curled around her hip bones, and she shivered. "Just for a little while, Sui, please..."

"Shut up, woman," he almost snarled against her lips.

Karin had always liked winning.

* * *

Suigetsu hated how he could never win with Karin.

And it wasn't because she was smarter or anything - hello, he was older, he knew more things than she did. It was just that she had something Suigetsu wanted at a daily basis and, more specifically, _the _thing he wanted so he would lose.

And that was why his shirt was coming off and he was lifting her onto the table.

But, hell, he couldn't whine...

...They had some gooooood sex.

* * *

Karin hated being lonely.

And he was _so_ predictable.

"Oh, god," she hissed, and tilted her head back, as his mouth skimmed down her shoulder. The hiss turned into a giggle as he grazed his lips along the ticklish spot on the inside of her elbow. Sometimes, Karin had to wonder how he knew her body so well (okay, so they had sex. ...Okay, so they had _a lot_ of sex. But that didn't explain how he just managed to make her _melt_...).

"So, class, or no class?"

"Both," he growled against her skin, and Karin smiled.

"Then you better hurry up, honey."

"Spread those legs then, Toots," and he kissed the inside of her elbow again.

"And _I'm_ the whore?" Karin whispered, voice playful.

"Of course."

"Asshole."

"...There, too?"

Karin was tempted to slap him. But she didn't. Instead, she decided to do something that she knew _always_ got him bothered. She ground her hips up against his jeans, fingers curled into his hair. "Shut up," she told him succinctly, "and fuck me, already. We both have things to do, today."

* * *

Suigetsu managed to peel himself away from her for enough time to take off his shirt and discard of it. And then he was back, so close that all he could feel, smell and see was her; his teeth grazed her neck while his nimble fingers unbuttoned his jeans.

And when she ground her hips against him Suigetsu almost lost it completely; his hands shot up to grab her hips, squeezing his hold on her.

"Fuck, you stupid girl - you drive me _crazy_."

After that, Suigetsu wasn't quite sure what happened - it was always like that when they had sex. Mind-blowing to the point where they forgot what led to what.

.

.

.

* * *

Karin was curled up on the couch, between the back of the couch, and Suigetsu's body.

Her glasses had been tossed somewhere, so it was through blurry eyes that Karin smirked down at Suigetsu. "So you're three hours late. Are you going into class, or not?"

Suigetsu stared at her through drowsy eyes, for a moment, and Karin watched as the sudden realization that he was really, _really_ late crossed his face. It was an amusing expression; his jaw went slack, his eyes went wide, and he goggled at her for a half-second.

"Class? OH, FUCK."

And then he jumped up, and started frantically looking for his clothes.

And Karin could only giggle like a gremlin.

* * *

By the time Suigetsu found all his article of clothing and had fixed his hair so it didn't make it so obvious that he had just had some amazing sex, he turned his glare towards Karin. "You're evil. Try to fix that while I'm gone."

And he bolted out the door.

He started the car, shivering as the cold weather's... coldness froze him to the bone. He turned the car's heater on and backed out of his driveway and made his way to the university. He tried to ignore how Karin was now alone in his house. Like... he never told anyone this - not even to himself - but he didn't actually like leaving her there alone... He didn't know why. But he didn't.

He found more comfort when she was at school with her friends. He sighed and growled and ignored the whole thing. Instead of thinking about _her, _he should start thinking about how he was going to deal with Sasuke and Naruto. Those two were fucking _annoying _when they were going after the same person.

Suigetsu groaned.

* * *

Karin stretched out on the couch, and laughed aloud.

The sound echoed through the empty house.

Karin hated how forced it sounded.

Ugh. She did _not_ have the time to be this mopey - it was lame. She sat up and stretched, aware of the cold air against her skin. Bah, she was going to turn the heat up - it was ridiculous that it was _this_ cold, _inside_ the house.

She shook her head to herself, red hair spilling everywhere, and went to look for her glasses.

It didn't take her long to find them. She found them sitting on top of the blue button up shirt of Suigetsu's that had started today's escapade. Karin shoved them on her face, and pulled the blue cotton across her skin.

She stood up, and smiled slowly.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Tenten was covered from head to toes with her covers.

She was curled up into a tight little ball, and her eyes were clenched shut. She wasn't tired. She wasn't crying. She wasn't _anything._ She was just _there_.

If she could call all this one thing, it'd be pathetic. Because that's just the way it was - it _was _what it was. It was _pathetic_. Why was she wasting away, in her dark-dark-dark room, under her covers? She tried to talk to him, right? She tried. It just so happened that he was as drunk as she was when that happened and he didn't remember her, or them, or what happened or what should be fixed or if it should be dropped.

And he didn't care about it, did he? He said he didn't.

And you know what they say, drunken words are sober thoughts.

So she should just stop. She should just continue to live as she had - get drunk, do stupid things, have flings with no strings attached.

But why the fuck did it seem so _hard_?

Tenten buried her face in her pillow and let out a low, muffled _shriek_.

* * *

Anko dried her hands on a towel.

Dear fucking god.

_Again_?

Tenten hadn't been out of her room since -Anko checked her watch- twenty-eight hours, forty-three minutes ago. And this was the second time this had happened, in less then a month.

Anko was getting fed up.

And that was never a good thing.

She scoffed, and shoved the dish towel she'd been drying her hands with under the sink, put her hands on her hips, and surveyed the kitchen for a moment, thinking. Now, Tenten had been holed up in that bedroom for _far_ too long, and Anko hadn't seen Neji at class in a good long time (which, while nice, was not something that Anko wanted to get yelled at for; that kid's uncle thought too highly of himself).

Anko _hated_ it when things like this happened.

She sighed, and made her way to Tenten's room.

Now, Anko knew that the girl had issues.

But when she was starting to get sick of it, really.

So that was why Anko marched up to her adopted daughter's room, stomping all the way. She stood in front of the closed door, and rapped her knuckles angrily against it. That was it. That was _it_. "Tenten, get out here, _now_."

* * *

"M'sleepin'."

Tenten didn't want Anko to... To see her like this. She was angry, remember? Yeah.

And she was just angry at herself. Sort of.

"Get _out_ here, Mitarashi Tenten, _now_," she heard from the other side of the door.

Tenten sighed and sat up, from bed. She undid her ponytail and bunched up her long wavy hair into a messy bun and stood out of bed. She didn't have to check her face; she was _not _crying. Because, ew, she did that enough already; she already allowed enough tears to escape her walls. So, no more fucking tears.

It was disgusting.

All that was left was anger, and sleepless nights. But the latter was kinda old - it happened a lot.

She marched to the door and opened it, staring at her adoptive mother with, what she hoped were, blank eyes. "Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

Tenten blinked and swiped some of her bangs out of her eyes. She needed a haircut. "Uh... Nothing..."

Anko raised a perfectly thin eyebrow. "And why is that?"

"Coz it's snowing..." Tenten shifted her weight from one leg to the other. She felt like she was being interrogated or something.

"It's barely snowing. That's an awful excuse."

Tenten looked incredulous for about a second before she shook her head. "I just don't want to go out...?"

"Tenten, you should be at school."

Oh.

Right.

School.

Uh...

Tenten drew in a blank, on that one. She hadn't gone back to school since that mini-sorry-excuse of an argument she had with Hinata. In which said tiny girl called her a _coward _and fucking hello! She's Mitarashi Fucking Tenten. She's not a coward.

"Don't waaaant."

As Anko spoke her voice was light, and heavy and a hiss and a total something that caused Tenten to freeze."Tenten, this is pathetic. I told you this last time this happened, and what do you do? You hurt yourself more. That is_ pathetic_."

Tenten's black-hole-for-a-heart froze for a second and she looked at her mother with raised brows and wide eyes. "I didn't hurt myself more! I just ended it. And now I'm _better_..."

* * *

"That's a _lie_," Anko simply said.

"It so is _not_."

"Oh? Then why won't you look in me in the face, Tenten? What did that boy do?"

"...Nothing... Nothing at all..." the girl smiled, bitter.

Anko eyeballed her, bored. "Tenten, you can't lie. Stop trying."

And Tenten, already shaking, _lost_ it. "I _tried_ to fix things! I did! And you know what he said it didn't mean anything to him. And what did he do days before that? He brought me home and left me with his _jacket_! What does he want from me? What? Why are men such stupid idiots? They should _die_."

Anko stared.

"Tenten, you were talking to a drunken Neji Hyuuga. Stop and think about that, please."

"I don't **_care_**. What is it that those people say these days? "Drunken words are sober thoughts". He can bite my ass; I'm done."

"Oh? From what you told me before, none of this is his fault. If I remember correctly, you were the one who cut him off in the first place, for no reason at all," Anko said, conversationally.

(Dear lord, Kakashi's apathy was starting to rub off on her; she'd have to do something ridiculous, and _soon_, before she got _old_.)

"...Stop confusing me, please." Tenten sobered up, eyes glued to the ground, shoulders slumped. "It _was_ my fault, at first. And in the middle, too, it was my fault, then. And then I _tried_ to right my wrong… So… I don't know anymore."

Anko's eyes softened. "I know, honey. I know. I know you're hurt, but if you think he's not hurt, too, you're crazy."

* * *

Tenten sighed and continued to look down. Letting it all out lifted some weight off her shoulders... But it didn't fix, anything did it?

Not at all.

Tenten knew she fucked up royally. She knew - that day... it had been like a goodbye to Shino (since he left Konoha to his university, already) and it just so happened to have been like a goodbye to Neji as well. But, weirdly enough, she didn't _want _to say goodbye to Neji.

And it just caused her to freak out - all of it. She didn't _understand_. She didn't want to have a life without Neji in it... He was her friend, right? A friend she sort of had sex with more than once but he was her _friend._ And he kind of made her _happy_ in a weird way. And she just _couldn't... _something.

She didn't fucking know anymore and it caused her to... to... Curl into herself - figuratively or not - like a curly-q and want to be invisible until she figured things out. Which, obviously, would be never. So hiding under her covers had been the closest shot.

But even then... She sucked on her lip-ring and blinked.

She was afraid, of what Neji was doing to her brain. Of what he was doing to her, in general. She was _afraid_.

She _was _a coward, wasn't she?

"I _am _a coward..." she murmured softly.

Anko said he was hurt, too... Why? Why would he be hurt?

She wanted to figure this out. She wanted to figure it out, even if it caused that fear to grow and grow and grow.

She was going to go to that banquet.

And she was going to figure things out.

"Anko-kaa," she said, looking up at the woman. "Can we go to the mall?"

* * *

Anko raised an eyebrow at the girl.

Yes, she looked miserable.

But _that_ was an odd request. "Of course. Why?"

Tenten tilted her head. "'Coz I'm going to the banquet."

"Banquet?" Anko asked.

"Yeah, the banquet Hinata's family always holds. It's stupid, but it has free food," Tenten said with a shrug.

"Oh? When is it?"

"...I don't even remember," Tenten said, sheepish.

Anko grinned. "Very nice, Tenten. We'll go now, then."

"Okay." Tenten almost smiled - it was something between a smile and a smirk, but at the very least, they were getting somewhere. Tenten hadn't really smiled (that Anko had seen) in a very long time, and while Anko didn't really understand what Tenten was feeling (Anko was the kind of woman that inflicted _pain_ unto those that harmed her or those she cared about), she _did_ understand that the girl was hurt, and she _did_ understand that there wasn't much she could do about it.

Things would play out, as they always did.

Hey, at least she'd probably get a good laugh out of it all.

(Not to mention, a very wonderful boyfriend. Yeah, that, too.)

* * *

Tenten took three minutes to look presentable to the world. Because even if she couldn't care less about what people thought of her, she liked looking at least _decent _if she couldn't pull of pretty-beautiful-gorgeous.

Ew, there went that awful feeling she got.

She brushed her hair and stared at herself in the mirror. Oh, Tenten, _why_? She sighed and applied a tad bit of eyeliner, switched sweatpants for skinnies and added some sneakers before she went out the door.

She followed Anko out the house and towards the BMW. And as she sat down on the passenger's seat, clicked the seatbelt in place and felt the car rumble to life as Anko got ready to reverse out the parking spot, something clicked.

She was going shopping with _Anko_.

Grocery shopping's different. This was _clothes _shopping.

Oh god, someone help her.

* * *

Anko grinned to herself. She pushed purple hair out of her line of vision, and gunned the BMW's engine.

It _purred_.

And Anko remembered why she'd bought this _very expensive car_ in the first place; it was _pretty_. And it went _fast_. And it was _so pretty_.

So, shopping.

_Right_.

"Where are we going?" Anko asked. "I know you need a dress, but what kind? Casual, semi-formal, what?"

* * *

Tenten blinked at this.

Casual, semi-formal... What?

A dress was a dress, right? Wasn't she supposed to wear a _dress_? Seriously. It should be illegal to wear dresses; they were so... not cool. And ruffly. And just plain ugly.

She gave a shrug, "Old man Hiashi is pretty strict about that; he usually always tells us to wear one thing. So I wear the total opposite."

"And that is?"

Tenten pursed her lips, eyes staring out the window. "Something short, ruffled skirts and tight bodice. And not formal and dead."

"So," Anko said, "Something slutty?"

"Pretty much," Tenten said, an innocently big grin on her lips.

"I am _so proud _of you," Anko said slowly, a grin just as big as Tenten's splitting her face.

Tenten laughed. At least she was making _one _person proud, right?

* * *

Anko was not a fan of malls.

Really.

They were dirty. There were far too many people around for her liking. There were _way_ too many stores.

Just. _Ew_.

However.

Anko had met Hyuuga Hiashi, once or twice. It had been an effort on his part to find out why Neji was so "utterly terrified of that student teacher".

And.

_Well_.

It hadn't been the prettiest of meetings.

...

Actually, it had been very funny (not that Anko wanted to go into it, but it had ended with Hiashi covered in the foul-smelling orange goo. So, actually, _yes_, she _did_ want to get into it, but right then was not the right time). However, it had led to a slight, er, _feud_.

Which really didn't bother Anko as much as it should have.

But, oh well.

"So, a dress. What are you thinking of?"

* * *

Tenten actually didn't know what she was thinking of.

Ruffled skirts, tight bodice... _Black_. That was Tenten's style. Black (when it came to dresses and the sort, at least). But... Where in the world would one go for a dress like that...? She scanned the many stores that littered the mall, sucking on her lip-ring as motivation.

"Slutty dresses," she said, "Ew, let's go to Forever 21. They have slutty dressed there."

She wrinkled her nose. Tenten _disliked _Forever 21 and all its bright colors; but they had a _lot _of slutty things that Tenten could use to piss Hiashi off.

Oh god, how she loved pissing that man off. He would always have a twitching vein at the side of his forehead, eyes twitching as he glared and practically foamed at the mouth. It made Tenten snicker her ass off as she pretended to actually care; but then again, she would always end up getting in trouble by Hinata.

But it was _so _worth it.

Snickering, she began to lead her adoptive mother to the godforsaken store.

* * *

It was so... _bright_.

And _pink_.

Anko had to restrain herself from vomiting all over the glossy black-white-pink mannequins and their oh-so-chic clothes. She stared around her, at the compartmentalized clothes (like it made it any better - here was where the Average Girl shopped, here was where the Hipster Girl shopped, here was where the High-Class Whore shopped), and wondered what in the world was _wrong_ with society.

Huh. She ought to write a paper on it - from a psychological viewpoint, society as a whole was kind of fucked up.

Honestly, tho', who _didn't_ know that?

But whatever.

"So where do we start?"

* * *

"Pick out anything black and slutty."

Because, really, black was sex and slutty was... sex. And... Okay, okay, okay. She was going to try and seduce Hyuuga Neji while she was there; something told her that was going to blow up right in her face, not to mention she was going to back out at the last minute.

But until then, those were her plans as of now. Slutty black dress, seductress in play.

"...How slutty? Because there's_ this_." Anko picked out something from a rack - a black, almost-see-through shift... Thing.

Tenten eyeballed it with a twitch. "Okay, that's _too_ slutty."

Anko snorted and stuffed the article back into the rack, laughing as she followed Tenten around.

Tenten sighed. It was gonna be a _long _afternoon.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**fwah, love & kisses. please review, we la-la-la-LOVE you all. so please review, because WE'RE GETTING CLOSE TO THE ENDDDD. :D  
& question to answer when you review: if we wrote an orig!fic (together, duh- we're AIW, bitches- awesomest when we're together) & got it published, would you buy it?**


	41. how to fling one's panties accurately

it's AIW's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US. LA LA LA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAA... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US. :D  
**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to writing when you should be sleeping. to caffeine. to chess. the the game called Love. to les's Giants. to a lot of things. :)

**sara paints outside the lines**: I ACED MY LIT MIDTERM, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL AGAIN. ohwaitt: creepy things that you hear in the dark: a cell phone's buzz, something tapping against the window, random creaking... I THOUGHT HALLOWEEN WAS OVER? & university is killing me. that is all. srsly.  
**sonya** **dances in the blurred area**: guyssss. this... has been epic. love you all. i am determined to beat up college. & loving NaNo while trying to the aforementioned beating up of college. :)  
**les' wearing orange**: BADABING BADABOOM BABY. WHO ARE THE WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS? THAT'S RIGHT, MY GIANTS. DON'T STOP BELIEVING; AND SF'S MISFITS RULE YOU ALL. /flailing super hard

* * *

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* * *

Hanabi eyed her three oldest friends.

"You _people_," she muttered, blowing out her cheeks in frustration. There was just no _explaining_ them. Moegi, all blonde hair and sleepy dark eyes, was leaning on Udon. He looked bored (but then, that was nothing new; Udon _always_ looked bored). They were probably holding hands under the table. Uh, _ew_.

Hanabi seriously didn't understand how she could spend so much time with these people, and have them not pick up _some_ modicum of sense. _Feelings_; they were so _pointless_, as far as Hanabi was concerned. Really, who needed them?

"Ah, shaddup."

And _then_ there was Konohamaru.

Part of Hanabi's psyche twitched.

"_Excuse_ me?" she hissed at him through clenched teeth.

They were sitting in a little cafe, just outside their mutual school. Hanabi, at thirteen, was the youngest of them, and probably the most awkward (not that she would ever admit it), due to the simple fact that a thirteen-year-old ought not be a high school, freshman or not.

"_Shaddup_. You're annoying," Konohamaru said, flippant, as he flicked a piece of rolled up napkin at her.

Hanabi's fingers itched to close around his throat. What she would not _give_... "You - I don't even have _words_ for you!"

He smirked. "Okay, so _shaddup_."

Hanabi pressed her fingers to her temples, and closed pearlescent eyes. "Do not kill him, do not kill him, do not _kill him for his sins_...," she chanted to herself.

Moegi and Udon ignored them both entirely.

This was completely normal behaviour, coming from Hanabi and Konohamaru.

"Heyyy, you can make a song outta that," Konohamaru said, conversationally. He was slouched over the table, rolling strips of napkin into little balls, and he _wasn't even looking at her_ when he spoke to her.

Hanabi _steamed_.

"You - you are an _imbecile,_" she seethed at him.

* * *

Nag, nag, nag, for a thirteen year old, she sure as hell nagged more than his Aunt Kurenai. He didn't know whether to feel amused, annoyed or feel pity.

"And _you_ are an old hag under all that pudgy baby fat," he said, rolling his eyes skyward.

Oh, he was _so _asking for it. It was so amusing. Who would have thought that someone like Hyuuga Hanabi could be so amusing.

He felt sorry for the sorry idiot that ended up marrying her. Honestly, Hanabi _nagged so much_. So _damn _much. It was... it was actually more entertaining than watching his Uncle Asuma try to explain himself when he forgot to bring home dinner when Aunt Kurenai was too busy to cook.

"I'd rather be an old hag then not have a brain, because, unlike you, I am not primordial ooze." Hanabi gave him a placid smile laced with sarcasm.

Konohamaru decided Hanabi and her big words could go die. "I'mma pretend I know what the hell you're talkin' about. I care. Oh look, I'm pretending already!"

"Well, you just proved my point, so never mind."

He sighed and finally turned his eyes towards her. "How about, you do the world a favor and go lie dead in a ditch, hm? Seriously."

* * *

"Only if you return the action and burn in hell," Hanabi smiled sweetly at him.

"Aw, I will once you notify me on how hell is."

She was going to chop him to pieces, and then bury him somewhere. In her backyard? "You're older then I am. And, in general, men die three years earlier then women do, so I think you have a better chance of knowing what it's like."

"You realize these facts of life aren't _always_ as they say, correct? So why don't you take your enormous brain and shove it down your throat and _die_?"

...No, that would smell, and Father would have a fit. The backyard was out, as a place to hide the body.

There _had_ to be a better place to hide body parts. There _had_ to be.

Maybe _his_ backyard? "Well, once again, your inferior intellect provides me with plenty of fodder - I couldn't shove my brain down my own throat if I tried, although I'm fairly certain I could shove a stick up your ass without too many problems. It might even improve your temper!"

...No, she liked Kurenai and Asuma too much to do that to them. _No one_ as nice as Kurenai deserved to have the dead body of an _idiot_ buried in their backyard. It just - no, it just wasn't _done_. So, the question was: _where to bury Konohamaru's dead body_?

While Hanabi sat there pondering the many different ways she could mutilate Konohamaru, Moegi sighed, and murmured to Udon "How long d'you think it'll be before the fact that they like each other will get through their skulls? I'm kinda bored of this..."

* * *

"Hey, if you can stick sticks up asses, why don't you do the favor and stick it up your own ass, rather than mine?" Konohamaru then blinked, and smirked. "Oh, wait, you already have one shoved in there."

Oh, he was _so _going to get it. He wondered what his Aunt Kurenai and his Uncle Asuma were going to say about his new bruises... Or anything else that would be new... But then again, they're probably used to it, by now, he thinks.

Ah, whatever. She was entertaining. And she _annoyed _him, but still.

Anyway.

"So you're experiencing phantom feelings? I didn't expect that, but then, I suppose that explains your psychosis."

Konohamaru blanched out.

"_What_?"

* * *

Hanabi smiled sweetly at him, again, and sang "_No_~thing!"

Moegi banged her head against the table, Udon contemplated suicide, and Konohamaru stared at Hanabi like he was wondering how he could get away with literal murder.

Hanabi just smiled, just the way she'd been taught, and tilted her head at her friends. Well, now that Konohamaru had been put in his place... "So... Who wants to come to my family's reunion party? It's on the weekend."

"No," Konohamaru's voice was flat, but both Moegi and Udon looked curious.

Hanabi leveled a deadly glare at him, before almost grinning at Moegi and Udon. "_Please_, Moegi? You'll get to dress up!"

Moegi's eyes lit up, and Hanabi knew that she wouldn't haven to say anything more to either Moegi or Udon; Moegi wanted to go, and therefore, Udon would go, as well, with little prodding, as he seemed to go wherever Moegi wanted him to go, no questions asked.

So, it was just Konohamaru. Hanabi settled her calculating gaze on him, and allowed her brain to devise methods of getting what she wanted, for a moment.

Then it came to her, in one flash of brilliance.

She didn't dare look at Konohamaru. Hanabi sighed, sadly, rested her head against crossed arms, and let her shoulders drop in melancholy. "Well, I can't force you to go, Kono, but... I guess that means I have to go with Inari-kun, because my dear father will be _seriously_ annoyed if I show up without a date..."

* * *

Konohamaru twitched, dark gray eyes narrowing down until they were nothing but slits. Slowly, he turned to glare at Hanabi; the nerve of the girl, she wasn't even _looking _at him.

He growled lowly.

"Inari stinks like fuckin' fish! Don't go near him unless you want to smell like rotten tuna," he said, lowly. "I'll go to your stupid banquet."

Hanabi instantly brightened, a sheen in her pale eyes and a big, happy, bright smile on her lips. "Oh, you will? Thanks, Kono!"

Konohamaru stared at her, long and hard.

Dear god, he just got conned.

He sighed and slumped his shoulders. He _never _won.

* * *

Hanabi looked between her friends, and simply grinned.

She _loved_ it when her manipulations turned out exactly as she wanted them to; it would be something to tell Tenten (and, hey, maybe it would pull her out of that awful slump she'd been in for a while), and thus, Hanabi was rather happy with that idea as a whole.

"Thanks, guys," Hanabi said quietly.

"Why?"

They probably didn't understand quite how happy that this had made her, but that was okay: they were coming, and she wouldn't be all alone, at the mercy of her family. Normally, Hanabi would have just attached herself to Hinata the whole evening, and refused to allow her sister to leave her side, but that probably wouldn't... be possible, not with the way Hinata and Naruto were.

So... "Don't worry about it. Just, thanks," Hanabi said again, and pushed her hair out of her face.

It was such a good day.

* * *

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* * *

Shisui's fingers were comfortably linked through Itachi's. They were quietly sitting on a bench, not far from the Akatsuki club-bar-dance place-thing.

"They deserve to know," she argued. "It's their fault we're together, so they at least have the right to know that things worked out."

He raised an eyebrow. "Fault?"

Shisui waved her other hand through the air, as though waving off an irritable fly. "Fault, idea, same difference. We're together because of them. They should know."

Itachi dropped his mouth to her throat, and brushed his nose against that spot right behind her ear that made her shriek. "But wouldn't it be more fun, keeping them guessing?"

"EEK, stop that, it tickles! And no, it wouldn't, because then Hana and Temari and Konan would _kill_ me when they found out I hadn't told them right away!" Shisui laughed, and then paused to actually think about it. "Actually, now that I think about it, Deidei would be pretty annoyed, too, if I didn't tell him... And Tobi. Tobi'd be very sad if I didn't tell him, Ita."

She stopped, reached over, and tugged on his bangs, serious. "And if I tell Tobi, the whole thing is moot. You _know_ how Tobi is."

"He's a- to use the _common_ _phrase_, good boy. If you told him to keep his mouth quiet, he would."

"…Ita, have you _met_ Tobi?" Shisui asked, deadpan.

"God, I wish, I hadn't."

"He's our _cousin_. And you _know_ he can't keep news quiet. We're better off telling them now, than having them find out we didn't tell them."

"Look- tell Konan and Temari, if you must. But why can't I- and by 'I', I mean 'we'- have fun with them not knowing?"

"I don't... understand why you don't want to tell them?"

"I do... but I want to have some fun first. I'm sure you understand the concept."

"This is going to blow up in your face. You know that, right? And I won't help you get yourself out of it. Actually, I'll probably laugh at you," Shisui told him frankly. Well, it was his head, not hers.

* * *

Itachi huffed a small laugh. "And when do my completely thought out plans _not_ work?" His mind was already plowing through all of the best ways to send his... _friends_- for there was no other phrase that fit quite as well as that one- into a _giant_ tizzy. A real bitch fit, to be sure.

"...Are you seriously- no, never mind. Fine. I'm going to need my hand back." Instantly, she started tugging at their joined hands, but he wasn't going to just _her_ go. Lazily, he allowed her to pull her hand away in a slow drag, their skin caressing each other.

"But _Shisui_," he purred, "it's so simple." Now that they weren't holding hands, Itachi stroked her hair like he would a cat- slow with soft pressure. "All we need..."

He whispered the rest in her ear.

"I am _not_ eloping with you." Shisui squeaked when he nipped at her ear.

"No, you're not," he agreed smugly. "We're going to have a big wedding, with a fancy- six tiers at _least_- white cake, six flower girls, one ring boy- unless you feel like getting married to me more than once-, my _foolish little brother_ as my best man, forget-me-nots all over the place (because they match your eyes), and... hmmm..." Itachi's voice faded in thought. He could tell that Shisui was giving him a hard, suspicious look- tempered, of course, by her disbelieving shock that he was already planning their wedding.

"You know, _your_ brother could be one of our bridesmaids."

"But only if he wants to."

"You could bribe him with your lipstick."

* * *

Shisui just... _stared_. "I want to get married on the beach- wait, _why_ are we even talking about this? I am _trying_ to convince you to tell them!"

"For our fake elopement," he explained patiently. "I want to see Hidan choke on his rosary." He paused, and then said "Oh, and see Kisame's expression when he realizes he missed our 'wedding'. He'd probably try to convince us to get a divorce so that he can be at our wedding."

He was being _far_ too flippant about this.

"No, because then Temari would rip you a new one, and I don't want that to happen."

"Then tell her and Konan and just save our plot for everyone else. We can say they were our witnesses."

Shisui _really_ did not like that he'd thought this out. "I just - I don't even have words for you, Uchiha Itachi. I really, really don't."

"Actions speak louder than words."

"So how are you going to break it to them, pray tell?" Shisui asked, deadpan.

"Oh, that's easy. We just have to put identical rings on our ring fingers. They're figure it out fast enough."

As if that explained it all.

"...I - no. Just, no."

"You don't have to say a _thing_, Shi-chan." He was using that stupid persuasive voice again, which was never good, because Shisui was weak to that particular voice. Damn it. "We just put on the rings and let them come to their stupid erroneous conclusions."

Shisui could not believe she was seriously considering this. "...I want a rock. And it better be pretty."

"As you wish."

"…Why am I agreeing to this, again?"

* * *

Itachi smirked, kissing a lock of her hair. "Because you love me and, even if you deny it, you are excited to see their reactions."

Being tugged off the bench was mildly uncomfortable, he decided as he heard that noise that made his teeth clench as his winter coat dragged across the wet surface. Shisui leaned against him and muttered "No, I am not."

As they walked down the block to Akatsuki for the required meeting of all employees of the club, Itachi poked his girlfriend in the forehead. "Stop being so _difficult_. Especially when I can see your face. You are at _least_ as interested as me to see their reactions."

Shisui opened and closed her mouth several times before huffing. "I'm not taking the blame for this. Especially when Tobi-chan starts _crying_."

He snorted in disbelief. "He won't start _crying_. More like ask you when we will have a baby and if he can _babysit_. And then proceed to ask how you'll get a baby inside you," he added as an afterthought.

* * *

"Ita, I have this feeling that you really don't know Tobi. He cried when Sai's first hampster died, remember?" Shisui told him, frank. Seriously, it was like he didn't even _know_ Tobi! ...But then, Itachi always _had_ ignored Tobi as much as possible, despite the fact that Tobi just threw himself at everyone regardless of gender, age, or relation. That was just how Tobi _was_.

"That's because he was the one who tried to give it a bubble bath and drowned the thing."

"He's still going to cry," Shisui said succintly. "C'mon, let's go. I'm going to have to talk to Temari and Konan, ASAP. And, what about rings? Where are you going to get those, mister?"

Itachi pointed two blocks down, to where Fine Stones was open. "I know what to get." He gave her a crooked smile before kissing her on the cheek, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and strolling nonchalantly to the jewelry store.

Shisui glared at his turned back. She sighed, after a moment, before picking her phone up, and dialing Konan's cell number.

"_Hello_?"

"Hi, Konan."

"_Shisui! OMIGOD, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN. I DESERVE AN EXPLANATION AS TO WHERE YOU'VE BEEN_."

"Well, I'm currently a block and a half away from the front doors of Akatsuki, at the mouth of the park. Come meet me, and bring Temari? I need to tell you two something, and it'd be easier to do in person, and you'll get your explanation."

"_I will see you in thirty seconds_."

The phone line went dead, and Shisui was pretty sure that Konan was running down Akatsuki's stairs, Temari in tow, right at that minute. She brushed dark curls out of her face, and waited for her two friends to come careening into view.

* * *

"Something happened," was all that Konan told Temari as she yanked her around the counter and to the door, her wetdish rag and the shot glass she'd been cleaning still in hand.

"Something is _always_ happening," Temari muttered as she watched the drops from the dish rag hover for an instant before gravity dragged them down again.

The young woman continued to march for the front door, still dragging one of her best friends behind her like a rag doll. One side of her was yammering with tamed curiosity about what could be going on. She had heard Shisui's voice, how it had a tone of _something_- something like excitement combined with the deviousness only an Uchiha could possess. The other side was mildly _upset_- worried, more like. One of her best friends had gone missing for a short time- a time in which she'd been obviously distressed- only to come back and request to talk. Of the three girls- four, when Hana was around- Konan was the motherly one; the one who worried indiscriminately because she couldn't _help_ it.

"We're here," Konan announced as she pushed through the front doors.

"So what's up?"

* * *

"Well," Shisui said, awkward. "Uh. I may or may not be dating Itachi."

"... Finally. That was a lot less work and drama than I had expected..."

Shisui sighed, annoyed. "Well, not less drama, actually... He wants us to pretend we ran off and got married. Eloped, actually. Apparently, you two are going to be our witnesses, or something, because I figured that if I didn't tell you, I'd get my head ripped off, and I actually kind of like my head where it is."

"Good choice. But... why?"

"I have _no_ idea," Shisui said. "Because he's insane, maybe?"

"Just like an Uchiha, trying to raise everyone else's blood pressure..." Konan shook her head.

"Trying? Oh, he's going to. He doesn't want me to tell Tobi."

* * *

Rubbing her nose, Konan tried to not sigh out all of her frustration with the entire situation. Of course, it was solved- which was more than a little nice- but Itachi... that damned Uchiha just couldn't it solve it easily. That would just be too nice.

"So... what happened?"

Shisui averted her guys, fiddling her hair again as she spoke. ""He chased me through a park, climbed a tree, and kissed me when I was freezing cold. And he told me he was an idiot, which was better than an apology."

"Ah." Not feeling there was anything to say, the blue-haired woman glanced at her nails. "So what do we," she gestured at herself and Temari, "have to do with all of this?"

"That," Itachi strolled in, his hands in his black slacks and a smirk on his face, "will be answered right here." Pulling one hand out of his pocket, he tossed a small ring box up and down, up and down.

Konan scowled.

Just like an Uchiha to pull all of the things that would make everyone else's life fall on its face and come out looking like a male model.

* * *

Shisui pushed her curls out of her face. "I _still_ don't think we should do this to them - it's too cruel, Ita."

"Considering all of their conspiring- now and beforehand- you'd think they'd have learned the consequences of getting involved in other people's business. Start twitching when anyone mentions any plans or something of that nature. Pavlovian conditioning and all that," Itachi said, as if this was a perfectly normal occurance.

It totally wasn't.

"You're an awful person," Shisui said.

"What's wrong about believing in equal opportunity to receive consequences? They _deserve_ everything they've got coming to them- and _then_ some."

"Oh, Ita. You only see it like that because you're related to Sasuke and Sai," Shisui was very close to laughing helplessly, because, well, _really_. Itachi _was_ related to the two most vengeful people she had ever had the misfortune to meet - not that she didn't love her brother and her cousin, they were just... not very forgiving. At all. Ever.

Itachi scoffed. "Sasuke wouldn't do a _thing_ and Sai... he'd just try on more of your dresses."

"Sai is one of the most vengeful people I know, and if Sasuke isn't cruel to the people that piss him off, who _is_? He punched you in the face, in case you don't remember," Shisui told him, eyebrow raised.

"He didn't hit me that hard- I deserved worse and he didn't deliver. So I win, he loses, and we're going to do this."

Shisui gave him the most deadpan look in her arsenal. "I legitimately cannot believe you, Uchiha Itachi."

"Can you? Can you _really_ not believe me? I thought we already decided I don't lie."

"I just- YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE."

"Thank you. Now... if you will?"

"_Fine_. Put that damn ring on me, and let's get this over with, already," Shisui grumbled.

She was clearly Not Happy About This.

Konan and Temari, looking between them, just seemed a bit bemused.

* * *

Sasori grabbed the tennis ball without much trouble. He stared at it, with bored tawny eyes as he rolled it around in his grip. He hated tennis, frankly, and he was kind of sulky because he wasn't allowed to use his baseball ("SASORI-KUN. YOU CAN BREAK YOUR HAND AND WE _NEED _THAT!" Deidara had screeched). He sighed, dejectedly and pulled his hand back before he threw it right back at Hidan.

They were playing catch. Inside the club.

It caused Hidan to snicker excitedly at the thought of what Pein could possibly be thinking of such an act; he was kind of hoping he'd snap, soon. Just because his twitching and his screaming face were fucking _hilarious_.

He caught the ball with one hand, running the other one through his silver-white hair.

"Oi," he called to Sasori, "You seen that fucking Weasel?"

Sasori slowly raised an eyebrow. "Itachi? No, thankfully. Maybe he's slit his wrists, by now. How tragic."

"Love the fucking sarcasm," Hidan said, snickering some more.

Sasori smirked and caught the ball, easily.

Oh! Hidan thought, pink-violet eyes growing wide in some more excitement. Kisame! Maybe he'd snap before Pein! Oh, he loved watching Fish Breath going on a rant that no one really paid attention to.

Maybe he should break something, purposefully.

"Yo, Kisame," he said, almost giggly. "You seen that fucking boyfriend of yours lately? His drama's breaking my balls; has it ended?"

* * *

"For the _nth_ time, Hidan, we aren't dating," Kisame growled.

The jab at his sexuality (or, as the case may be, lack thereof) didn't bother him. They only were going for the reaction and Kisame had no problem holding onto his temper. A few "_om_"s and the unofficial cow-killer of Akatsuki would mean less to him than last night's bad pizza.

But the truth was that he was _worried_. Itachi hadn't shown up for work in two weeks and, while him disappearing for a short period of time was normal, it was... well, _short_ was _shorter_ than a few weeks! What could have happened to make him just... seem to disappear for a few days? True, none of them had checked him at the Uchiha residence, but that was because Itachi was normally at the apartment this time of the month.

Ignoring the two grown men- at least he _thought_ they were grown up- snickering at him, Kisame walked over to Pein.

"Has Itachi contacted you recently?" he asked in a low voice.

* * *

Tobi's hands were on his hips. He pursed his lips at Kisame. "Of _course_ Tobi hasn't seen Itachi-san. Why would Kisame even _ask_ Tobi that? Itachi-san is... somewhere _else_. Maddy-chan said Fugaku-jii and Auntie Koto were all worried about him, or something. Tobi doesn't remember."

"Tobi, I didn't ask you, I asked Pein. And how can you not remember something like someone in your family going _missing_?"

Tobi looked affronted. "Tobi overheard it, and so Tobi answered, because Leader-chan wouldn't know the difference, anyway. Because Sasuke-chan left a _note_. And Tobi doesn't see Itachi-san except when Shi-chan is around, but... Shi-chan hasn't been around at all," and Tobi looked sad.

"A note," Sasori asked, interested, "Did the little mini Uchiha leave or something? Grocery shopping, perhaps?"

"Sasuke-chan's been gone for two weeks, _duh_. Auntie Koto has been really, really worried."

"Oh," Sasori said, losing interest. "Maybe Itachi felt _down_ because of that. He does love his little brother, a lot, given all the time he gives to plan out things to ruin him."

Tobi's face crinkled up, the way it always did when he was thinking particularly hard about something. "Nooooooo... Itachi-san looked like the way he did when he thought that Shi-chan had pushed him into a puddle, even tho' it was actually me."

"...Tobi, I am never going to understand you. I'm done speaking with you."

"Hey, what 'bout Shisui?" Hidan looked at Tobi through his hair. "I haven't seen her in forever. No wonder I feel so fucking empty."

"What happened then, Tobi?" Kisame asked.

Tobi looked horrified, and ignored Kisame completely. He practically shrieked "YOU STAY AWAY FROM SHI-CHAN, SHE DESERVES BETTER. HISS."

Deidara, sitting in the corner, looked annoyed. "You people are so _ridiculous_, I don't even _know_ why I _try_. Saso-kun, stop Hidan from being mean to Tobi."

Sasori looked up, boredly, at everyone. "Hidan, leave the idiot alone; you can annoy better people."

Everything went still, for a minute.

And then Tobi threw himself at Deidara, stars in his eyes, screeching "TOBI-CHAN LOVES HIS SEMPAI!"

Deidara, of course, looked appalled.

And that was actually the beginning of the end.

* * *

It felt like he'd always imagined standing just behind the curtain in the middle of a play would feel. Just ready to come on and dominate the spotlight, he was, a small smirk on his face as he listened to the chaos on the other side of the door.

"Are you ready?" Itachi whispered as he heard the hullabaloo settling down to a loud murmur.

Before Shisui could say something- like "Do I have a choice?"- he breezed through, hand in hand with... _her_.

Best thing ever.

Before they ended up at the end of the little red carpet leading to the dance floor, anyway, where he spun her in his arms, dipped her, and then kissed her on the lips as passionately as a dispassionate Uchiha could kiss.

And then the world- at least, the one the other members of Akatsuki lived in- imploded into anarchy.

There was squaking and squealing and outrage and "_WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU BLITHERING IDIOT_," among other things. There was Hidan shooting a glance at Sasori, and muttering "You think they'll take their clothes off?" and there was Sasori replying "Hopefully." There was Kisame, looking horrified, and Temari, looking bored, and promptly beating Hidan over the head with a pool cue (that led to other interesting developments - most that involved Temari and Hidan screaming at each other). There was Pein, looking like he'd just had a heart attack. There was Konan, still looking amused. There was Deidara, trying valiantly not to tear up.

(Kakuzu, of course, was nowhere to be found.)

And there was Tobi, bawling his face off, and screeching things like "_FINALLY_! SEE, SHI-CHAN, TOBI-CHAN _TOLD YOU SO_!"

Mass chaos, yeah.

But on the dance floor... Itachi and Shisui didn't notice a damn thing.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Sakura lay on her bed. Her arms were folded behind her head, and she was quiet, and more at peace then she'd been in weeks.

Literally.

_Weeks_.

...

Stupid Sasuke.

Her phone buzzed. It was Hinata's number, and Sakura furrowed her forehead. She flicked it open, and glanced at the text.

* * *

**From: Hina-chan****  
To: Sakura-chan; Candii; Tennie Macdaddy; Ino-chan  
I AM GOING TO KILL HIM. I AM. I AM. ASDFGHJKL. HELP ME. FATHER'S GOING CRAZY ABOUT THIS STUPID BANQUET. And he told me to tell that if you don't wear pretty dresses, he's going to throttle you with his bare hands**.

* * *

...

Poor, _poor_ Hinata.

And a pretty dress? Yes, Sakura had several pretty dresses; dresses were nice, and they kind of made every single girl look good. So, that really shouldn't have been a problem, because Sakura had plenty of dresses to choose from.

But, see, that was the thing about the Hyuuga family - what everyone else considered "pretty", they considered "adequate". So for Hinata to say "pretty", she meant... ballroom-gown kind of gorgeous (oh, Tenten was going to be pissed).

And that was a pain, because Sakura didn't _have_ a ballroom-gown at her disposal.

...

She needed to get to the mall, pronto.

And that meant Sasuke.

* * *

To: foolishlittlebrother02  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
_Subject: How much do you love me?_

I need a ride to the mall. :D

Cha! Sak

* * *

To: cherrylipssuperstar  
From: foolishlittlebrother02  
Subject: _Not much, really._

Oh god. And why is that?

-Sasuke.

P.S. You know what, don't answer that. I'll be there in ten.

* * *

Sasuke grumbled as he quickly added a thermal shirt to his outfit (walking around bare-chested in his room was _not _bad; it was the safest place to do so) and grabbed his key and a jacket and left the room.

He ignored Itachi, because Itachi sucked balls; and he grumbled a short reply to his mother and thanked god his father was not around.

In the safety of his car, he cursed being friends with a Hyuuga.

Banquets.

Fuck.

Awful.

Glaring, Sasuke gunned the engine and made his way to Sakura's house.

* * *

Sakura sighed.

Sasuke seriously sucked.

(He _so_ loved her.)

She tossed her hair over her shoulder, and waited the customary eight-and-a-half-minutes that it took Sasuke to drive to her house. She watched him pull up to the curb, and pulled her jacket over her shoulder. It was December, and it was freakin' _freezing_.

Sakura really hated the winter, sometimes.

She slipped outside, closed and locked the door behind her (there was no telling when Tsunade was going to make it home; apparently, Jiraiya had come back into town, and, knowing Tsunade, she was probably giving him an earful of screaming... among other things), and practically skipped to Sasuke's car. Her breath came out solid, and she got in as quickly as she could.

She grinned at him. "Hi!" she chirped, cheeks pink from her thirty-second stint in the cold.

* * *

Sasuke spared her a glance, "Hn."

"Don't look so grumpy," she said, and then leaned over and pressed her lips against his cheek.

And this was where Sasuke started to curse himself to hell; he could already _feel _the burning that announced the tips of his ears going red. He bit the inside of his cheek and drove off. Like most of the people that socialized with Sasuke, Sakura had gotten used to his driving; it was something that Sasuke could only smirk at.

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed as he leaned back in his seat.

"This better be important, Sakura. I was in the process of beating this game."

"I need to buy a dress," Sakura deadpanned.

Sasuke paused and narrowed his eyes. "For _what_?"

"For this function-thing that Hinata's family does every year. She always invites us -er, basically forces because she doesn't want to deal with her family- to go, every year." She managed to sound nonchalant; like she was expecting that... whatever it was... from him. Sasuke decided he hated being known so well. "You know how Neji is. In comparison to the rest of his family, he's a _wuss_."

Sasuke made a turn for the freeway. "Hn. Get an ugly dress."

Sakura turned to him with a look that clearly stated how affronted she was. "Hinata's father would actually throttle me."

"_I'll_ throttle _him_."

"Hinata would have to kill you." Sakura managed to say in between her laugh.

Sasuke rolled his eyes at this. Fairy-girl. Huh. "I'll just send her off to the Dobe."

"...Have you _met_ Hinata?" Sakura looked as if Sasuke had requested to be killed.

"I don't want to get into that." Sasuke tried to suppress the images of a small little fairy-girl being a lethal bitch.

But Sakura caught the wariness and she warped her whole image to that of a lottery winner. "Sasuke - no, you aren't - are you _scared _of _Hinata_?"

"...What? No. What? _Hell_ no."

Sakura laughed like a wacko. "You are! Omigod, you _are_!"

"I'm not, Sakura." And he decided that _no _his eye was _not _twitching.

"Oh? Shall I tell her about you abusing Naruto yesterday?"

"Tch."

"You so _are_ scared of my tiny little best friend! Oh, Sasuke, don't worry, I'll protect you."

"Don't be annoying. I'm not scared of that little girl; are you taller than her? Or are you both the same size?" Sasuke spared her a glance and couldn't help but chuckle.

"We're the same height. Fine then, you can face her yourself when I tell her that you were smacking him around."

"He's survived this long. I don't think he needs her to fight his battle. Let him grab his balls." Sasuke had no trouble being vulgar in front of his own girlfriend... was she even that? Sasuke decided he wasn't going to delve in that.

Sakura, though, was clinically studying her nails in a way Sasuke was positive he's seen before. And his bat-shit crazy Psychology teacher came to mind. Sasuke fought a shudder.

"Sasuke, Hinata is in _love_ with Naruto. That's, like, a big step, for her. And if she finds out he's being unnecessarily hurt, she _will_ hunt whoever it was that was hurting him down."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Okay. You're the one that will end up having to live without me, if she does kill me."

* * *

Sakura grinned. "Totally not my problem, I'm sure there are plenty of other guys out there-"

He cut her off with a growl. "Sakura..."

"Oh, don't be silly, Sasuke, you know I like you best. I still think you're scared of her, though."

Sasuke just shook his head, and ignored the pink-haired girl sitting in the seat next to him. Sakura stared out the window, and managed not to glance at Sasuke over and over again. Ever since they'd... made up (was that even the right phrase? Had they ever even really been on the outs? One part of them had always ended up talking to the other, even if neither of them had wanted any further contact), she'd had trouble _not_ looking at him.

Sakura didn't know why.

Frankly, she really didn't _want_ to know.

* * *

Sasuke turned to look at Sakura with a knowing look, accompanied by a lazy smirk.

He could feel her eyes on him; it made Sasuke want to chuckle, really. Which was terribly weird - usually, Sasuke got freaked out when women of all ages stared at him for so long. And then he'd go on a rampage. But with Sakura? He just smirked and chuckled.

They reached the mall soon enough and once Sasuke found parking... He was being hauled around by Sakura. One of his hands was caught in her firm grip and as much as he tried to get it out, he couldn't. If Sasuke were to pout, he'd be pouting right now.

And so Sasuke just settled and allowed to be dragged around.

_What_ happened to him, really. See, he'd most definitely use this to his advantage... But... Bah.

"Sakura, I know you can't keep your hands off me," he drawled, "But let go of me."

"Shut up, Sasuke, and do as I say."

Sasuke snorted. "How annoying."

* * *

Sakura huffed through her nose, and glared down at the directory. There were plenty of dress stores, but Sakura... really had no idea where to even start. She took a deep, calming breath, pointed at a random store, and then said "Alright. We start here."

Half an hour later, they were still looking.

Sakura groaned. "Screw it. We're going in here."

Then she promptly dragged him into the closest dress store.

It was a cozy little place; called Twill and Twist, it looked more like a boutique shop, then anything else. Sakura sighed, and, just then, an assistant ran over. She took one look at the both of them (Sasuke, glowering furiously, and Sakura, looking a little more then lost), and smiled, a little.

"What are you looking for?" she asked in a soft, lightly accented voice.

Sakura bit her a lip. "An evening gown, I think. Something... fancy, I guess."

The assistant smiled kindly. "We'll find you something, dear. Er, sir, if you come this way...? There is a fitting room, and a sitting room, as well."

* * *

He rolled his eyes and took a deep breath in.

God, women and their shopping. Seriously - his mother was no different. Even with the _groceries_. Sasuke still cringed at the memories of his twelve year old self having to withstand his mother's crazy shopping all by himself. It had been horrible and Sasuke had thought he'd never have to go through that again.

He looked at Sakura.

God, was he _wrong_.

Sasuke took his seat and leaned his left cheek on his left palm and waited. God, today was going to be a long day.

* * *

"What colour, dear?" came the light voice, and Sakura looked at the assistant. Isane, her name-tag said.

"Uh... Maybe green? Or red? But no black, because that's my friend's shade, and she'd probably kill me if I tried to upstage her, or something."

Isane's laugh was lilting, and she carefully ushered Sakura behind a curtain, and went to find some dresses (or Sakura presumed). Three minutes later, the _click-click-click_ of Isane's heels met Sakura's ears, and Sakura peeked out from behind the curtain.

There was a rainbow of colours in Insane's arms. Sakura moved out of the way so that Isane could maneuver the eight hundred or so dresses that she had found for Sakura to try on. She hung them up on the rack, and the said, with a smile "I will leave you to choose, yes?"

Sakura nodded, and Isane _click-click-click_-ed away.

And then Sakura was left alone with the mound of glittering fabric.

She selected a dress at random (champagne? Would that look good?), set her jaw, and began to pull it on.

* * *

He wasn't going to wear a suit, Sasuke mused to himself. He hated suits - made him feel caged in or something like that.

No, he wasn't gonna wear a suit. He tapped his foot to the ground, slow, slow, slow; maybe a vest, instead. A vest with the button-up shirt. And the slacks. yeah, that could work. And he hated dressing shoes... maybe some converses?

Hiashi would never tell the difference. Seriously.

Sasuke smirked to himself.

...What the fuck was taking Sakura so long to get a damn dress?

* * *

_Ooookay, this dress was **waaaaaay** too skimpy_, Sakura thought, faintly frantic, and she continued to stare at herself. Slightly higher then mid-thigh, the golden bubbly colour of champagne, and strapless. Sparkles, too. All over.

...Buddha.

So far, she'd only managed to finish zipping the stupid champagne dress up, but... well...

She gulped, and decided she'd let Sasuke decide.

"Uh... Sasuke?" Sakura stepped out of the change-room, and walked to where Sasuke was sitting. "How does this look? I know it's only the first one I've tried, but, uh... Is it just me, or is it too, uhm, non-existent, fabric-wise?"

* * *

Sasuke's musing came to a complete stop.

He sat up and stared.

That was all he could fucking do - _starestarestare. _

Holy fucking... shit... Well... fuck... Sasuke swallowed thickly enough that he felt his Adam's apple bob. His eyes were glued on her and... fuck... It was just... _Fuck_.

All he could see right now was her and her legs and her - _fuck_.

Without him even knowing it, he stood up and walked towards her and his eyes were still glued on her. Once within reach, he reached for her hair and fingered the ends.

"No... Just... No... _Hell _no. That's too short."

"Ugh, that's what I thought."

Sasuke nodded but his eyes never ripped away from her _legs_. And... _fuck_.

"Yeah, take it off," he grumbled.

* * *

Sakura glanced over her shoulder, and sighed.

Sasuke was glaring at the dress she was wearing like it was something from some alternate dimension, and it needed to _die_. Like, _right away_. Which was kind of a pity, because, as short as it was, Sakura actually really did like this stupid dress. It was a pretty colour.

She sighed again, and slipped behind the curtain. Well, nothing this short, because Sasuke probably would just have a bitch-fit, and it would be severely annoying.

Sasuke was standing on the other side of the curtain, and Sakura started to unzip the zipper. "What didn't you like about it?"

She could hear the growl in his tone when he said "It's fucking short."

"Is that it?"

"Hn."

"That's not very helpful, Sasuke."

Sakura ignored whatever it was that Sasuke muttered, because he was _always_ muttering _something_, and concentrated on getting the stupid zipper to freakin' _unzip_. Finally, a frustrated half-snarl ripped it's way out of her, and she shoved the curtain open.

"Sasuke, could you undo the zipper, please? It's stuck, and I can't get at it!"

* * *

Sighing, Sasuke faced her again and looked down at the portion of her bare back... and the zipper.

He cleared his throat as noiselessly as he could and reached for the little clasp-thing and he pulled. A slow smirk appeared on his lips as his finger rand down her back - slowly, slowly, slowly. He looked up and stared at her face through the mirror's reflection.

And his smirk broadened as he felt her shiver and he watched as she fought it - but in the end her eyes rolled back and her lips parted if just a bit.

"Where's your bra," he murmured huskily into her ear, "Sa-ku-ra?"

"On the floor," her voice shook slightly. "Where else?"

He was tempted to push her against the mirror - but Sasuke figured the wall would be... _better_. And so he did that; he pushed her against the wall so that her front was pressed against the cool surface of the wall and her back was pressed against his body.

"Is that so?" He ran his lips up her neck, biting softly here and there. "Good. One less article."

* * *

Sakura's brain had turned into a puddle of mush.

"Mhmm," she mumbled, and tilted her head forwards, against the cool surface of the wall. She could feel Sasuke's lips making their way down her spine. "Do you have any idea - wait, _what_, Sasuke, _stop_! We're in _public_, idiot! Hands _off_!"

"Shut up, woman," he told her.

Sakura was sure he was grinning. Or something. She turned in his arms, and they were nose to nose.

"_No_!" She hissed. "Paws off, _this instant_!"

"...Sakura... shut _up_."

And then his lips crashed down, and Sakura forgot what she was being pissy about.

* * *

If it was one thing Sasuke would ever admit to himself, it was that he missed this.

Kissing Sakura.

He smirked when her 'anger' died down and she instantly molded herself against him and kissed him back. His fingers ghosted their way up her curves and feathered across the sides of her breasts, up her neck until he pulled at her hair rather playfully.

Before he could lose control of whatever sanity he's ever had, he pulled away before placing another chaste kiss against her lips.

"Just... hurry up."

Sakura was breathing just a bit harsher than she should as she said, "You're annoying, Sasuke."

He smirked and rolled his eyes.

"You're contagious."

"Are you saying I'm a disease?"

Sasuke sighed and made to walk out of the changing-thing. "Take it as you like, Sakura."

* * *

Sakura glared at the blue dress.

No.

_Just no_.

Ugh. On to the next one.

Gold-grey-shimmer-thing, top black, big bow. Pretty. Probably also really short. Well, she knew what Sasuke was going to say, if it was too short - he'd flip, and growl, and then - well, it would lead to something else entirely (hi? He'd already tried it, and Sakura knew that saying "no" to Uchiha Sasuke, twice in a row, was really, really, _really_ hard).

So apparently, champagne was totally her colour. This worked. This really, _really_ worked.

"Sasuke? Please tell me this is better, because even if you don't like it, I'm buying it."

* * *

Sasuke stared at her, his eyes running from her chest area, down to her mid-thigh - where her dress ended.

He raised an eyebrow and pressed his lips into a thin line and turned to look away, blank eyes gluing themselves on the wall. He didn't like - but, whatever. Let _her _fend off whatever her bare legs would bring her way. He'd just stand around and watch; or, like, get drunk. There was going to be alcohol in that banquet, right?

"Hn," he grunted and continued to stare at the wall.

Why ask him?

He didn't care.

(Riiiiiight, the Naruto in his head said with a sly grin.)

* * *

"Sa-su-ke," Sakura dragged his name out. "Look at me-e-e-e."

"Hn," he grumbled.

Sakura pouted at him. He was staring at the wall, still, and not at her, and that was just unacceptable.

This was exactly why Sakura was not to be held responsible for her next course of action - if Sasuke wasn't willing to pay attention to her willingly, she was just going to have to _make_ him pay attention to her. There were lots of ways to do that.

But the best one was the one where she stalked up to him, and carefully pressed herself against him.

(He was Sasuke, and she was Sakura, and she was in a really, really, _really_ short dress.

This wasn't going to go wrong.)

"Sasuke-" her voice dragged again, like nails against chalkboard, even as she got in his personal space. "_Look_ at me. _Please_?"

* * *

Sasuke's jaw clenched tightly as he continued to stare at the wall.

He was _not _going to fall for this. He was _not _going to fall for this.

"Get off, Sakura," he grit out because... just because.

Because, seriously. She was in a _short _dress and _fuck._ Okay, he was Sasuke - he was _not_ supposed to be affected by these kind of things. Or, well... he was supposed to know how to control this... And this? Yeah, this was not knowing how to control this.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

Sasuke grew stiff and glared... lightly... kind of.

"Just because."

"Well. No."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and tried not to scoff. "Why."

She snuggled against him and actually got herself comfortable. "Because."

"Because _why_?"

"Just because," she shrugged against him.

"Sakura. You're annoying."

Sakura sighed and, if he were actually looking at her, he'd see her rolling her eyes. "We've been over this, Sasuke. You need to get better insults."

"_You_ need to get off me. And put some clothes on. Or I'll just take off what little you have on."

"Maybe later, Sasuke. So can I have this dress, or not?" Sakura laughed and pulled away just enough to look up at him.

"_God_ get _off_." He grunted, "I don't care. You're going to get it anyway, aren't you?"

She was grinning at him, big and wide. "Probably. But you're the only one who'll see me without it, so I don't know what you're worried about."

"..."

"And it's not like I'll be wearing a bra," she continued to tease.

"..."

Sakura merely smirked, got off him and went to change. Sasuke inwardly groaned and hid his face behind his hands. He needed some nice, ice, cold water right about now. There was a voice inside his head (vaguely, Sasuke decided it was a strange combination of Kiba and Suigetsu) that was demanding he get laid.

Seriously.

* * *

She came out three minutes later, clutching the dress to her chest, and smirking far too evilly to be quite healthy. Sakura walked straight up to Sasuke, and did _yet another_ thing to just _make his day_, (because when didn't she like doing that?)

"Hey, Sasuke?"

She watched him look up.

"Hn...?"

And flung her panties at his head.

"I think that's yours, sweetie," and she walked towards the check-out counter.

* * *

Sasuke's eyes went uncharacteristically wide as he watched the article of clothing fall from his head and to his lap. He stared at it - at it's black lace, red satin accents and... it had a _bow _right at the top. Sasuke gulped and he _knew _his ears were bright, cherry red and _god._

Shaking his head, he stuffed the panties in his jacket's pocket and stalked towards where Sakura went and grabbed her wrist before she could even make it to the check-out counter.

And then... he dragged her back into the fitting room, into the room she had just been occupying and slammed her (kinda gently, kinda not) against the wall. Sakura was smirking a smirk that Sasuke didn't really like but actually liked all in one and _god_. Just... Just... _Fuck_. Sasuke was growing anxious and he glared.

"What's _your_ problem, handsome?"

Sasuke's glare darkened.

"Shut up, Sakura. Just _shut up_."

"Hm? Got a problem, Sasuke-chan?"

He hiked her up and made her wrap her legs around his waist and the thought of her having nothing under her jeans... He bit back a groan.

"You... You're driving me _crazy."_

"Am I? Sorry- -"

He slammed his lips against hers, completely cutting off whatever she was going to say.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**it's our birthday. please review, we love presents. and every single review is like it's own present, all special and wrapped and hidden away, all lovely and whatnot. :D  
and remember: the more you review, the more likely we are to update sooner~!**


	42. how to propose for a shotgun wedding

please be prepared: we like sex. :)  
**disclaimer**: i want pork buns...  
**dedication**: to endings and beginnings and love and kisses.

**les raises an eyebrow and sighs**: tired of this, srsly. also: NejiTen is my other OTP. love it. naow.  
**Sara splashes barefoot in pools of rainwater**: this shit has been written _forever_. THANK YOU, EVERYONE.  
**sonya writes like a maniac**: this ain't goodbye, 'cause if it's love, i'll always stay- through twilight & troubled waters.

* * *

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* * *

Hinata was very close to foaming at the mouth.

The banquet was finally being set up - in a high-end hotel, in the biggest ballroom, there were twenty tables. There were six mahogany chairs at each table, all draped in thick, luxurious cream cloth, burgrundy-coloured candles lit and burning, like little balls of light in the dim area. It would fit a hundred and twenty people, which was more then enough for the various Hyuuga families and their various guests. The food would be catered; only the best for the Hyuuga. There was a dancefloor, and a live band had been hired.

She was _actually_ going to pull this thing off.

Hinata's eyeball twitched, and she threw herself down into one of the couches just outside the ballroom doors.

Okay, okay, okay.

It would start soon.

Hinata _would not panic_.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

And that was how it started.

* * *

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.

.

* * *

Tenten never liked dresses.

Like, ever.

Actually, she never really had to wear dresses; not even for her eighth grade graduation - she wore jeans on that one. But now here she was walking into the damn Hyuuga Banquet and she was wearing a _dress_. At least it was one that was more... _her_ than those hideous ballroom gowns or _whatever _they were called. Her's reached just above her knees and it had a corset on top, tied around her neck and had a tulle skirt. That made her look like a ballerina.

A _lethal _ballerina for she was in black.

The only thing that was killing her inside were the black flats she was wearing and what she hated the most of wearing flats and not converses or vans or boots or whatever? Her ankles were bare and that allowed the star-tattoos on her right ankle to be in plain sight. You know, the star-tattoos no one knew about. Those same exact ones.

(God, she was such a rebel. She loved herself.)

...Wait, there was another thing killing her inside: her hair.

It was straight (HELLO, HER HAIR WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WAVY) and it was down. And... Ugh.

Tenten walked into the hotel-room-or-whatever. A pout on her lips and eyes (that she was positive made her look like a raccoon at the moment with all it's smoky-ness) narrowed.

She hated life.

* * *

Neji stood stiffly, and quietly greeted the Hyuuga guests as they entered the ballroom, one by one. It was tradition that the head family (and Neji, by extension) greet each and every guest; Neji would never understand it, but it was only something he had to do once a year, so he submitted to it without _too_ many complaints.

(He was also a faint bit terrified of what Hinata would do to him, frankly. Her eyes always got twitchy around this time of year, and Neji had learned early on that it was one of the few times that it was actually _dangerous_ to cross Hinata.)

He bent down to speak to one of the elder Hyuuga women; they chatted amicably for a few moments, and when she released his attention, to move on to bother Hiashi, Neji looked up, and caught sight of something that made his heart stop.

Tenten.

In a dress.

...Oh hell, her _legs_...

Neji's eyes followed the lean figure she made, dressed in cutting black, all the way down her torso, down those long, sun-browned legs, and right to... star tattoos? And her hair was down.

And she looked absolutely _stunning_.

Something swirled in Neji's stomach. Several things were wrong with this picture:

1) Tenten in _general_; hadn't Neji specially told Hinata he would absolutely refuse to go if she was there?  
2) He was no longer supposed to be attracted to her. Period.  
3) He was not supposed to be feeling anything.  
4) Why was her hair down? Her hair was not supposed to be down. Ever. (That image belonged to Neji, and Neji alone; he didn't care if they weren't - they weren't - _fuck_.)  
5) Neji... was... _confused_. Not angry, even, and he knew he certainly had a right to be. He was simply... confused, and a little hurt, and he really, really had not realized how much he'd missed seeing her face until that very second.

There were actually a lot more, but those top five things continued to circle through his head. And so, with that in mind, he set off towards her.

Fuck the Hyuuga.

He needed to talk to Tenten, right this fucking instant.

* * *

Okay... Okay... Where the hell were the girls at?

And why was there, like, no one she knew and a lot of pruny Hinatas everywhere? Okay, she was just freaking out now, really. Okay... Everything was cool - her boobs looked kinda huge in this dress... Oh, and had anyone noticed the tattoos?

Hiashi was going to kill her, wasn't he?

Oh god...

...Oh god, it was _Neji_.

She hadn't seen Neji since... since... well, since that day... And he looked... Oh god.

He was wearing a white tux.

Tenten swallowed and watched him walk towards her - but maybe it wasn't towards _her _per se... Maybe someone behind her or... something like that. It had to be that; he hated her, remember?

Subconsciously, she licked her lips and tried to force herself to believe that she didn't care. Because she didn't... She didn't... She did.

And that's why she headed towards him, shoulders squared, chin held high.

"Hi." She said, coming to a complete stop in front of him and not allowing him any access to move forwards.

"Come with me," he said crisply.

Tenten's brow furrowed, "Where?"

He was moving already.

And... Tenten couldn't help but just... _follow_.

* * *

Neji stood straight and tall, and nodded politely at all the people who dared speak to him at that moment. Neji was good at controlling his emotions, yes; but this was different. He wasn't angry, he wasn't... _anything_.

(Jealous maybe; but then, no one ought to see Tenten with her hair down. _Ever_.)

He headed straight towards the one place he knew where he'd be able to sustain complete privacy (and, given the nature of this conversation, privacy was something that was going to be in demand); and that was the coat room. Most of the Hyuuga guests had already arrived (yet _another_ of Hiashi's habits that Neji just couldn't stand), and therefore the coat room would be empty.

If he was lucky, he'd maybe be able to get the - the _everything_ off his chest.

Neji could hear the soft padding of flats against marble, but he didn't dare look back; much like Orpheus to Eurydice, if he were even to look at her, she would disappear.

And quite frankly, Neji didn't want her to disappear before they got the chance to, at the very least, yell at each other.

He opened the door to the coat room, and stepped back to allow her in first.

And yet, he absolutely refused to look at her. _Not yet_, he told himself carefully, _not yet_...

* * *

Her jaw was clenched so tightly, it hurt.

And her eyes were fixated on the ground even as she passed him and inside the... coat room. He wasn't looking at her; it was that clear. He didn't _want _to look at her. Fuck, if Tenten didn't screw up big time.

She sucked on her lip piercing and continued to look down, not even bothering to look up when the door was closed and they were both inside. She swallowed thickly and crossed her arms in front of her chest defensively.

Okay... this was all her fault, she knew.

But how could she make it better?

After quite some time of just standing there, Tenten finally looked up at him; he wasn't looking at her, still and it made her kind of angry. She sighed and squeezed her arms tighter round her chest.

"Neji..." She trailed off and furrowed her brow. "I'm... I... You know... I'm sorry."

It was barely audible as he said, "I know."

Tenten shook her head, "No, you _don't _know... I'm _sorry_, okay? I... That wasn't supposed to happen."

His voice was still low. "No, I know."

"What do you know," she couldn't help but ask challengingly.

"I know that I didn't sleep for a week."

That made her freeze completely. Her nose did that thing again, it stung as tears began to form at the back of her eyes and turn her eyes glassy. She looked down and hid behind her bangs. God, she shouldn't even be here. She shouldn't even be _talking _to him.

"I... Why would you do something like that...?" She whispered softly.

"I don't know."

Tenten bit at her lower lip to keep it from trembling. "Oh... I... Maybe I should leave..."

* * *

Shit, she was going to cry.

"Don't."

Neji honestly didn't know what else to say; he didn't want her there, but the thought of her leaving right then left a painful throbbing somewhere in the middle of his chest.

She still hadn't looked up. "...Why not...?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

And Neji didn't have an answer.

* * *

Tenten let a sardonic laughter (it was a masked sob, really) escape passed her barely parted lips. And, shaking her head she made to walk for the door.

Why the _fuck_ was she leaving? Neji half-choked, and caught her wrist before she could actually get anywhere. He pulled her back towards him, and could barely breathe when her back thudded against his chest. He wrapped an arm around her waist, and dropped, dead-weight, to the floor. Vaguely he though that Hiashi was going to be pissed about the suit.

But at the same time, Tenten was a hundred million trillion times more important.

And that was all it took for Tenten to burst into tears.

"Why aren't you yelling? Why aren't you telling me to leave? Why, Neji - I... Yell at me! Tell me I fucked up! Tell me - say something!" She sobbed and, softly that it was barely caught, she whispered, "_Please_."

Instead of getting yells, she got, "I missed you."

She was still crying, not caring that there were probably black streaks running down her cheeks. "You're not supposed to - you're... you're supposed to _hate_ me."

"Tenten, I could not hate you if I _tried."_

"Why... All I do is fuck you over..." Vaguely, Tenten realized she was shaking.

"You don't."

"I do... That day... I... You looked like it."

If she had been facing him, she'd catch his jaw clenching. "I - wasn't angry at you."

"Yeah? And what, then? You could have killed me with that look... If looks could kill..." If he hadn't had a hold around her waist, she'd be curling into herself. Actually, she'd be running. Because that was all Tenten was good at - running.

"Not you. It was not you. I - hated myself."

Tenten sobbed and whispered, "Why...?"

* * *

Neji kept his arms locked around her.

Well, she was crying now, there was very little he could do but keep her in place and try to make her _listen_ - even though Neji had absolutely no idea how to say what he wanted to say, or even what he wanted to say at all.

"Because-" and he paused, and tried to regain his thoughts; her hair was in his nose, and it was very distracting "-I know that I am not... exactly... what you may want or need, but..."

Neji felt helpless, then. He couldn't _convey_ that they probably weren't right for each other in any sense of the word, and yet that he didn't care, because he honestly just enjoyed being around her; it didn't matter how much she hurt him, in the end (she hurt his wallet more; but it wasn't like Neji was in any short supply of cash). He couldn't _convey_ that he cared about her more then anything.

He didn't know _how_.

Desperation took over, and Neji said, very quietly "Tenten, look at me."

She turned to face him, and Neji's stomach twisted at the make-up streaks down her cheeks. (Even with them, she was still the crazy, erratic, bounce-off-the-walls girl he knew and cared about and - okay, fuck it, he kind of loved her, happy?)

So Neji did the only thing he _knew_ that she'd understand.

He slipped his hands around the back of her head, pulled her face forward, and crushed their lips together.

* * *

It was as if a starving woman had been fed for the first time in weeks, months, even. It was as if that starving woman was seeing food for what seemed like forever; glitter would replace her eyes and the need to cry with joy was almost overwhelming.

For Tenten it was something like that - she instantly moved closer to him until their bodies were pressed together, with no space in between. Her hands shot up and cradled his face as gently as someone like Tenten could ever be. And she kissed him with all the passion she could muster - kissed him in such a way that, maybe... just maybe he could _understand _what she was feeling.

What she _wanted._

"This is," she mumbled against his lips, even as they continued to kiss, "is me being selfish."

"Is it?" he managed to mutter back.

Tenten nodded her head and tried to be _closer_; closer, closer closer... he _couldn't _leave. Even if he fucking _should_.

"I don't deserve this," she breathed out, pulling away from the kiss with reluctance.

She refused to meet his eyes because someone like her didn't deserve that. And she tried to compromise with herself... something-something-something about this being one time only. Because Neji didn't deserve this. He deserved something much better.

* * *

Neji knew what he should do.

He knew that he should let her go, because that was what she wanted. She didn't want to be there, and Neji understood that. He knew that they should both walk away from this.

But it would kill him to let her go, _again_.

"Don't scream," he murmured against her throat.

Once more.

Just once.

* * *

.

.

.

She was having a difficult time getting her breathing together, her face was hidden against the juncture where his neck met his shoulder and she was holding on to him as if he was her lifeline. And maybe it was time Tenten... allowed herself to feel what every single one of her friends was feeling. Maybe it was time she gave someone... herself... this... a chance...

Tenten clutched at his bare biceps harder.

"Don't go," she whispered hoarsely against his skin.

"Why would I?"

"Stay with me," she said, her eyes closed and her heartbeat escalating to the point where it was probably not healthy. "_Stay with me_... I don't want to be alone anymore."

"I know."

Ever since the day she cried - the day... _that _day. These damn tears had been coming and going as they pleased. "Do you really?"

"Yes."

Tenten swallowed and began to shake again. "What do _you _want?"

Because, if he wanted her to, she'd leave. She'd leave; maybe her chance to feel that feeling was expired. Maybe she wasn't supposed to, anyway. But... she'd leave if he wanted her to.

* * *

Neji... seriously didn't know what he wanted. Just that she would smile, maybe, a little more.

And maybe that his uncle would just _die_, already.

But that second one was optional.

"Whatever makes you happy," he told her gently, and brushed his lips against her forehead.

There was really nothing Neji wanted, other then that. If she was happier - better off - without him, then he would abide by that. He just - he didn't even really care about himself, at all; there were other universities, and his grades were more then adequate; they would still take him.

"Whatever makes you happy," he said, again.

* * *

She took a shaky breath and pulled back enough so that they could stare at each other.

One of her hands let go of their firm grip on his bicep and reached to trace the sharp lines of his face; ghost across his cheekbones, trace his jawline, move strands of his hair... thumb his lips softly. Her eyes followed her fingers and she knew that tears were, once again, spilling down her cheeks; but her attention was drawn to her thumbs on the soft-soft-soft flesh of his lips.

"You make me happy," she croaked after some time. "You," she furrowed her brow, trying (and luckily succeeding) to accept that truth, "You make me _happy_." She cupped his cheek and stared at his cheekbone. "I've... adapted, you know? To... to you not... understanding everything I say...It's a challenge..." Her hand moved and dropped to her side. "You make me happy."

Tenten kissed the side of his lips, softly, gently, tenderly. "Stay with me."

* * *

Neji lay there beneath her, stunned into silence.

He hadn't been expecting... well, not _that_.

But it was certainly welcome. He tilted his head up, and pressed his lips against her forehead. Yes, he would stay; how could he even think to let her leave, after something like _that_? No, she was his; Neji didn't give a damn about much else, given everything else that had happened.

"I could fall in love with you, Tenten," he told her quietly.

She jerked away sharply.

Intense hurt coursed through Neji for a moment, before-

"...How? _Why_? Why would you _want_ to?"

And Neji didn't know what to say. Part of him -a small part, but a part none the less-, quietly wondered the same thing. But the other part -the big part -, started ranting. And then, through his teeth, almost reluctantly, a confession came.

"Because you are crazy. Because you are strangely attractive. Because you are amusing. Because you make me laugh. Because you are different. Because I don't want you to hurt anymore. Because you deserve better. Because you make _me_ crazy. Because you have a nice - smile. Because you need someone to pull you out of the messes you make. Because you need someone to deal with all your crazy. Because you are Tenten, and you are worth it."

Tenten swallowed whatever it was that was trying to escape past her lips. This feeling... She'd never really felt it before; was this what the girls were feeling? Were their hearts beating this fast? Did they feel like anything they said or did wasn't able to express _what_ was going on in their head? Because _nothing_ was going on in their heads? Tenten slowly grabbed Neji's hand and placed it above her heart.

"Is that normal?" she asked, just as quiet.

"Yes," he muttered, "maybe?"

"...Oh... It's... weird." She looked up at him, "Is that happening to you, too?"

"Yeah, it is," he breathed against her skin.

He felt her shiver, and she murmured a very, very soft "...Oh..."

"Yeah," he murmured again, content to stay there, on the floor, arms wrapped around her waist. "Hn," he grumbled. "We should probably - move. Someone might - show up."

It was kind of hard to concentrate when she wasn't wearing clothes, Neji thought idly.

* * *

Licking her lips she broke out of his hold and stood up. With no kind of clothing on her body.

"Do you mind telling me where you threw my panties. And my bra?"

"I have no idea."

Tenten raised an eyebrow and placed her hands on her bare hips. "Splendid. If I find your boxers first, I'm wearing them," she retorted as she began to look around for her underclothes. "You can go ahead and go commando."

She picked up his shirt and threw it at him, and then couldn't help but snicker when she found what she was looking for. "Aha!"

She slid the panties on and slipped her arms through the straps of her black bra.

"Neji, can you... do my bra," she walked towards him and turned around so that her back was facing him.

"Hn?"

Tenten rolled her eyes, "Just... close it up - this," she waved at the side with the little hooks, "goes into these, "she waved the side with the handle-thingies. "So it can stay on my boobs."

When there was no kind of reaction from behind her, she grew impatient and turned around.

Neji was staring with a confused look. "...Tenten. What am I - why are you wearing these?"

It really took all of her powers to not just start laughing right then and there. "...So my boobs won't be all over the place when I walk."

His face went beet red, "I know _that_. But these ones _specifically_?"

Tenten clenched her jaw taut and looked down at her panties and the bra. Her nostrils flared and she fought down the blush that wanted to appear on her cheeks. "They matched my outfit."

"...They have _pink _on them, Tenten."

"Ugh! Neji, can you just... you know... clasp it together?"

"Fine."

And so Neji began to attempt to clasp her bra together... and failed.

"No, you know what? Just... no... Here, let me do this." She twisted her arms in the way every women did (and hated) and blindly searched around until the thing clasped together and stuck. Then she went to fixing her bra straps and turned to look at him.

"You sir," she said as she poked at his bare chest, "Fail."

Neji could only blink and shrug a shoulder. "It is not something I've had practice at. Ever."

"Well you need to start practicing." She crossed her arms in front of her chest and pouted.

"Do I?" He said and Tenten's eyes snapped open at his tone. "On who?"

She shrugged, "On whoever you like." She smirked at him and gave him a wink, "I'm available Monday through Sunday."

"That's what I thought."

Tenten raised an eyebrow. "Is it? There's a half-naked girl in front of you and you can still think?"

"Apparently, yes."

She played with the waistband of her panties and smirked, "Well, we're going to have to fix that."

"You're not going to be half-naked for long."

"Sorryyyy. No can do - there's this banquet we have to make an appearance to." Tenten grinned and wagged her finger at him.

Neji stared at her with a serious face. "...Let's blow it off."

Tenten stared at him with wide eyes. Hyuuga Neji... Rebelling. Seriously? Seriously? Oh god... She smiled, "Really?"

"I do not want to be here right now."

Clapping her hands she walked closer to him. "I don't want to wear a dress... So I'm in!"

* * *

Neji actually almost smiled. He could feel his lips quirking upwards.

Tenten was insane.

And he liked it.

"Let's go," he told her quietly, and nodded his head in the general direction of the the exit. He had no idea where they would be going; but, really, he simply did not want to be at this stupid banquet any more. It was such a waste of time, and, frankly, it was totally pointless, as Neji despised most of his family, anyway.

Neji couldn't stomach this place, anymore.

"...Clothes, first," he muttered.

* * *

Tenten rolled her eyes and grabbed her dress.

"I'mma burn you, you vile thing," she hissed at it, stared at it for a second and then slid it on. "Are you competent enough to tie the laces around my neck?"

She moved her hair out of the way by swinging it all to one side, held it all there with one hand and gripped the two black laces, falling to her back from either side of her neck, with the other. She peeked at him from the corner of her eyes and snickered at his look.

"Tenten, don't be bothersome."

"Whaaat? I just need it to be tied, god. Or... Like... the front of my dress will fall forwards and I'll flash everyone in sight!"

"...Fine."

Grinning, she neared him, her back turned his way. She waited for him to tie the laces in a neat bow-thing and then... Then they were both out the doors.

...Well... That was the plan before they came to an abrupt stop before they both clashed bodies with Hinata.

* * *

Hinata went down flailing.

(Oh, god, she was turning into Ino; this was _bad_, people, _bad_!)

She blinked at the other two people she'd crashed into; both Neji and Tenten looked like they'd... just...

"What were you two _doing_?"

Neji and Tenten spoke at the same time. "...Playing hangman." - "Nothing that concerns you, little cousin." - "...I meant Tick-Tack-Toe. ...Wait! Hide-n-Seek. That's my final answer... Was this a trick question?"

Hinata stared at the both of them. "Karin was right. You two _suck_ at lying."

Neji coloured dully. "_Hinata-sama_."

Tenten smirked. "...Grow an inch, Hinata."

"...That's hurtful, Tenten. Neji-nii, Father is going to _kill_ you, if you leave. But I take it you're leaving?"

Tenten looked ecstatic. "We're gonna go buy ice cream!"

Hinata's eye twitched. Oh, oh _no_. They were _not_ leaving this on her. "I am _not_ taking the blame for this!"

"Blame for what? Everyone likes ice cream!" Tenten sang at her.

Hinata waved her hand airily at the both of them; Neji looked annoyed, Tenten looked oblivious. "This - _thing_ you two have. It's NOT MY FAULT. And I will _not_ take the blame for you two leaving, because I normally would, but just - ASDFGHJKL, NO."

Only one thing seemed to register in Tenten's oblivious countenance. "_What_ thing?"

"Tenten. You and Neji just -oh, god, I can't believe I'm saying this- _fucked_ in the coat-room. If that's not _something_, what _is_?"

"...So what's your point, exactly?"

"You're _together_, duh."

Tenten went stiff. "...Nuh-uh."

Neji winced, and set his jaw. Hinata saw him open his mouth. He muttered something quietly.

"..._Excuse me_?" Tenten hissed at him.

He cleared his throat. "I said - we _would_ be, if she wasn't so damn _scared_ of commitment."

And Hinata stood there, totally baffled.

People were _so weird_.

* * *

Tenten could _not _believe the words she was hearing!

Seriously!

She went completely stiff - if not stiffer than what she already was - and just _gawked _at him. How could he just _say _that out loud? Because, okay, it was kind of true, and okay, she was already freaking out at the talk about them being together and whatever... But... Fuck - - having it out there in the open? Tenten wasn't ready for that...

"Did you just _say _that, Hyuuga?" She bit out and glared, "I can't _believe _you."

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and continued to gawk in complete disbelief.

* * *

Neji didn't understand what she was on about.

"Why not, Tenten? It's _true_," he said, calm, calm, be calm.

Tenten looked flustered, her cheeks ruddy. "It's not! ...Okay... Yes... Maybe a little - but that doesn't mean you should throw it out there like that!"

Outrage filtered through Neji, because, god, the girl had_ no idea_ what she did to him. He all but snarled "Then what _should_ I do? What should I _do_?"

"I - I - I... don't know? I..."

He hated that her voice was so weak. Neji felt his voice go cold, ice cold, colder then winter, colder then ice water, colder the ice caverns and ravines in the Poles, colder then _Uchiha_. "I do not understand you. I do not think I ever will. ... And sometimes, I do not know if I want to."

Neji watched, icily satisfied. Part of him just wanted her to hurt, even a little. He damned that part, because she looked like she was about to start crying, and _fuck_, Neji hated himself, sometimes.

"Then why are you still here? Why'd you ask me to follow you - why'd you bring me to the closet? Why'd you let me say those things? _Why_ did you make me _cry_?"

The anger was back; Neji couldn't control it, didn't want to control it. "I was _trying_, Tenten. But if you treat me like I'm some damn dirty secret that you have no contact with - I want no part of that."

"No one's said you were a dirty secret! I haven't even _thought_ of you like that!"

And they were both desperate, angry, seething; Neji couldn't see straight. Voice still cold, so cold, he said "Then what _do_ you think of me, Tenten?"

She flinched, and her eyes narrowed, and she all but screamed at him. "I think you're weird - I think you've sheltered yourself too much! I think you're lame! I think you have very pretty hair. I think you get weirder around me. I think you're really adorable when you get confused. I think of you as a challenge I'm willing to break!"

"Then what are you so damn _scared_ of, Tenten?"

"I'm scared... I'm scared of being hurt. I'm scared of being lied to. I'm fucking _scared_ of being left _alone_. _That's_ what I'm fucking scared of!"

"Than _stop_ pushing me away, _goddamn_ it!"

"I'm not fucking pushing you away! _God_!"

He sneered at her; looked down his nose, put every inch of every bit of pain and anger and lust and want and _hurt_ into that look as he could muster.

She stared at him. She shook her head, and bit her lips, and it took all of Neji's will not to note that her lips were still red. Fuck, no, this was not the time - "Oh, really. Then why will you not admit that we are - have - _something_?"

"You want me to admit it? You want me to _admit_ it? I'll give you _more_ than that, Neji - I'll show you I'm not pushing you away - in fact, we'll be together always! Let's get _hitched_."

Neji utterly froze.

What. The. _Fuck_.

"What?" he croaked at her.

* * *

Her cheeks were flaming - they were probably as red as Karin's hair. And her eyes were wide, glassy with tears she was trying to suppress because _fuck _if she hasn't cried enough already. And her lips were pressed into a thin, thin, thin line; not even the pain of the ring digging into her upper lip made her loosen it the frown up.

Tenten nodded her head.

"Yeah - let's get hitched; let's skip the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing. What better way for us to be _together _than as husband and wife?"

Neji could only blink at her. "Tenten, think clearly about this. You're being crazy again."

"What," she said with a sly smirk, "Are you _scared_? Are you sure that _I'm _the one that's afraid? Maybe we've confused our roles? Are you _scared_, Neji?"

"I am not scared of _anything_." Neji sneered.

At this Tenten raised an eyebrow and allowed her smirk to broadened. "Then what'cha waiting for? Let's get hitched - or do you need me to get on one knee?"

"What - _no_."

"Oh? _No_? So you _don't _want to get hitched? So you _are _afraid."

Neji was glaring, slightly. "I told you, I am not scared of _anything_. When and where?"

Tenten's reply was instantaneous. "Right now. Tonight."

"_Where_, Tenten?"

She flailed her arms in the air and furrowed her brow. "To hell if _I_ know! That's why _you're_ driving!"

Neji gave a curt nod, "...Until we're out of gas. Let's go."

"So..." Tenten placed her hands on her hips and tapped her right foot on the ground, "No getting on one knee? Damn! I really wanted to do that, too."

"No knees."

Tenten smirked and gave him a wink. "C'mon, Sugar-Daddy. It'll be worth your while."

"Quiet, princess."

"Fine," she sighed and shrugged a shoulder, "but I'll get on my knees at some point tonight."

"You'll be quiet, then, too."

Tenten grinned and tried her hardest not to laugh. "Will I? I think so, too. Coz you'll be doing all the screaming."

"I don't scream." Neji said, and if he were any other person, it'd be a haughty retort. "That is your area of expertise."

"Whatever you say, baby."

* * *

Hinata stood there, between them, in something like shocked horror.

Actually, there were like... no words in the English language, to describe what Hinata was feeling, right at that moment.

(But "horrified shock" did a pretty good job of it.)

Her voice was an octave high when she spoke. "Okay guys, let's get a room now, okay?"

Tenten smirk-smiled in that signature way of hers, and said, hand on a cocked hip "Maybe _after_ the wedding."

And then she had the audacity to wink, and Hinata very nearly fainted right then and there, because, seriously? She had _no desire_ to think about her cousin and one of her best friends screwing each other's brains out. She tried to gain a hold on the blush that was rising in her cheeks.

"Neji-nii, if you're going to leave, uhm, I suggest you do it, _fast_. Father wants your head on a platter, for leaving the guests so suddenly," she told him, with as much authority as she could manage. Seriously, she was _not_ going in that damn coat room, like, _ever_ again.

(Who _knew_ what sort of things he and Tenten had done in there?)

Neji nodded sharply, and glanced at the still-smirking Tenten. "Leaving now, princess?"

Tenten just looked at him appraisingly. "Duh."

The indigo-haired girl blanched. Dear god, they were _leering_ at each other. That was not something she _ever_ wanted or _needed_ to see. Hinata fought very hard not to be sick right then and there.

* * *

"Carry me."

Tenten had her arms crossed in front of her chest as they both walked out of the hotel-place-whatever (honestly, where _were _they?). She turned to look at Neji expectantly and could only grin when he grunted. They stopped so that she could hop on his back. With her legs wrapped around his waist, his hands holding her by the thighs and her arms around his neck, chin tucked on his shoulder, Tenten felt comfortable.

"Okay, I want my wedding march to be 3OH!3, I don't want to hold flowers and I want the priest to look like Elvis."

"...Which song? You can hold dandelions, for all I care, and... Elvis. Why."

Tenten sucked on her lip piercing and looked up at the sky as she thought. "Hmmmm. Let's go with Don't Trust Me. And I am _not_ holding flowers, you idiot. I'll hold a six-pack of beer. And Elvis was awesome, duh."

"I hate that song. No flowers, fine. No beer. Elvis. I can not believe you."

"...Neji. This is _my _wedding day... Night. We're doing what _I _say."

"It's mine, too, is it not?"

"I'm the woman here. I decide."

"Tenten. Just no beer."

She pouted and buried her nose in his neck. "Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?"

"_Because_."

Tenten looked towards the side and continued to pout. "I'm sad now. When people ask me if I had the wedding of my life I'll tell them I didn't because my husband-to-be didn't let me carry a six pack of beer and now my life is a living hell because I didn't fulfill my exact ideal wedding and god, this is so sad."

"Tenten, don't start. No beer."

"I want a divorce."

"No."

"_God,_ can't a girl do what she _wants _nowadays? God, you're, like, a dictator to my life. This sucks balls."

"I'm allowing an _Elvis impersonator_ to preside over my wedding, Tenten. My father is turning in his grave. _No beer_."

"My mother is affronted in _her_ grave 'coz I can't hold beer!" Tenten shot back.

"Your adopted mother is probably - oh, god, what am I getting myself into?" Neji's eyes went wide and at his voice, Tenten couldn't help but snicker.

"Nejiiiiii. I thought you _loved _me. Can't I hold a bottle of Bacardi, then?"

"NO ALCOHOL, TENTEN. I refuse to marry you if you're holding alcohol. Maybe I'll come back to my senses."

"Okay, then. Put me down and I'll go get married to a drug dealer or something."

"You are ridiculous."

"No, _you're_ ridiculous. Put me down this instant. RAPE. RAPE. RAPE. NONCONSENSUAL SEX." Tenten swung her legs and thrashed for a second; that was before Neji set her down on the ground, cupped her cheeks and kissed her quiet.

"_That_ is not _rape_, Tenten."

"The city of Konoha and the cops don't know that." Tenten resumed her pouting.

"Who says we are going to remain in Konoha?"

Next thing Tenten knew, she was slung over Neji's shoulder and taken to his car.

* * *

Neji had already decided they were going to watch the sun rise on the other side of the country.

That would be far enough away.

(Iwa, maybe?)

He deposited his bride-to-be in the front seat of his car, kissed the top of her head (because he knew it annoyed her), and slipped around to the driver's seat. Neji had a full tank of gas, some crazy chick at his side, and an open road.

What else in life was there, really?

He gunned the engine, and they were gone.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Naruto, contrary to popular belief, knew exactly how to get on people's good side.

And that's why he was dressed formally, in a classic tux. Black blazer, black slacks, black vest, black tie, black shoes and a white button-up shirt. His hair... well he couldn't do much with that - it was spiked and all over the place in it's natural shaggy-droopy way. And... He_ so _hoped Hiashi _liked _him.

Seriously.

He had a glass of scotch in his hand (because, like, seriously, Hyuugas were _fancy_) the other tucked into the pockets of his slacks as he conversed with Suigetsu and Sasuke (where the hell were Kiba and Neji...?). His blue eyes roamed the perimeter (or was it area?) in search for a pretty little thing that was always on his mind.

And when he found her, he excused himself from the two alcoholics (seriously, if he wasn't mistaken, that was Sasuke's fifteenth glass of alcohol and Suigetsu wasn't all that far behind).

"Hey, Hinata-chan," he said with a bright smile. "You look _amazing_... But why does it look like you just saw porn or something? Is there, like, a room with free porn?"

* * *

Hinata choked.

Naruto was seriously just too perceptive sometimes; especially when he didn't need to be. This was clearly the perfect example, as all Hinata really wanted, right then, was to _burn_ the image of Neji and Tenten out of her mind's eye.

"No - I'm just - can we please not talk about it? It's kind of scarring, Naruto-kun."

"...I really want to know, now..." he mumbled, and gave her the biggest, bluest puppy-eyed stare Hinata had ever seen.

She gulped.

"Naruto-kun, seriously, you'll want to claw your eyes - brain - something - out!"

The pouting got more serious, and he did That Looming Thing that seemed to happen whenever he got sad (or maybe Hinata was just tiny; same difference, really). "Pleeeeeease - pleeeeeeeease - pleeeeeeeease?"

"Naruto-kun, _no_!"

(_Oh, look, Hinata's spine is showing again_, Karin commented from very, very far away. _Someone should probably do something about that before she hurts someone, like, say, Ino._)

"You're sooooo mean, Hinata-chan. I'm gonna go get more scotch and get shitfaced."

Hinata blinked at Naruto's pouting face. Really? Really? He was going to go there? _Really_? She sighed. "So, you want to meet my _father_ for the first time, while _drunk_."

"...I met your sister - that's enough family time."

"My sister is not my father, Naruto-kun."

He continued to pout.

And Hinata felt a little bit bad.

But not bad enough to mentally scar him, because that was just so far away from anything that could be considered Hinata's style, that it was ludicrous. And it was also mean. And, really, Hinata was not a mean person by nature; quite the opposite, in fact.

"...Look, Hinata-chan, can you just tell me? It'll bug me all night and I might end up saying something stupid to your dad and get my dick chopped off."

And he just knew _exactly_ what to say, didn't he?

Hinata sighed again, and took a step closer to him. She stood up on tiptoe, and whispered in his ear, a blush staining her cheeks "Neji-nii. Tenten. The coat room. Can I please stop thinking about it now?"

* * *

Naruto's big blue eyes grew all the bigger, his lips forming into an 'o' before it turned into the most biggest grin he's ever done. And then... And then Naruto started to giggle like a school girl; hand hiding his lips, eyes squinted comically.

"Oh... oh my. Teehee. I am _so _telling the others; our little Neji is a big boy now."

Hinata's eyes grew as wide as soccer balls. "_No_! Naruto-kun, if you do, I'll never forgive you!"

"...Why not? We're men, we tell each other how many girls we've banged with much pride."

She went quiet and Naruto felt like he just said something completely wrong. Is this what it meant - that phrase... how'd it go? 'open mouth, insert foot'?

"...Oh."

Naruto's eyes went wide again. "Hi-Hinata-chan! I didn't mean it like _that_. I didn't... I haven't... I won't..."

Hinata shook her head slowly and looked away, eyes glassy and lips pressed into a thin line. Naruto quickly began to despair. Before she could start to walk away, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards him and with as much slyness as he could muster, he led her to the dance floor.

"Hinata-channnn, I didn't mean it like that - I meant men in general, honest!"

* * *

Hinata let Naruto pull her into an impromptu waltz; the dance floor was mostly empty, most of the Hyuuga family milling around, interacting. Hinata knew that if she tuned into any conversation -_any single conversation_- she could find the love-hate relationships that characterized the Hyuuga family's (and it's various off-shoots) daily lives. There was plenty of drama, plenty of fodder; because as long as one Hyuuga was invited, _every_ Hyuuga was invited.

And then all those Hyuuga felt the need to invite _all_ of their friends.

She sighed, and allowed Naruto to whirl her around the room.

"Where did you learn to dance?" she asked, completely ignoring his previous statement.

* * *

Naruto hummed and replaced his hand on her hip and grinned.

He knew she was still mildly upset with what he had said, accompanied with the stress she was going through to prepare for this whole banquet... But Naruto might as well play along with her mood swings; he didn't have the patience of a saint for nothing.

"My mom," he said, twirling them both in place. "She enrolled me in some class when I was little; Sasuke-teme's mom convinced her and... Yeah."

"I kinda figured that was the case."

Naruto nodded his head and continued to lead them both in their dance. But... Being that Naruto was whipped and having the thought of Hinata actually being upset (whether it was with him or not)... he couldn't help but murmuring, "I'm sorry."

* * *

Hinata ducked her head down to his chest, and willed herself not to cry.

Naruto was just too damn sweet sometimes, for his own good. And yes, she was a little more then emotional, but she just wanted - she didn't even know what she wanted. She knew she wanted her father to just back off, and let her have her own life, and she wanted her relatives to just _leave her the frick alone_, because she was _so not in the mood_, but...

But that wasn't likely to happen.

And she really, really kind of wanted Naruto to have Hiashi's approval.

(Like that was going to change anything; Hinata was going to date Naruto, anyway.)

"It's not - your fault. I think that... I don't know, I'm probably soaking up Tenten's crazy, or something."

She smiled into his shirt weakly.

* * *

At that, Naruto blanched.

"Oh... Her... Crazy? Oh god, Hinata-chan, no! I won't be able to handle that!"

He heard her giggle against his chest and he couldn't help but smile at that. "Not _that _crazy."

Naruto sighed in complete relief and closed his eyes. The song was coming to a quick end and he gave her one last twirl. When it ended, he placed a chaste kiss on her cheek and grinned, "Thanks for that dance, m'lady."

Oh, okay, he was kinda goofy - but at least he made her smile.

* * *

Hinata looked up at his goofy smile and kind of melted on the spot.

Even when she was stressed out of her mind and confused and hurt for no reason, just _looking_ at him made her melt like chocolate in the sun. And when he smiled... God, she was totally useless in his presence. This was not good.

But she was okay with that kind of not good.

What was even less good was the fact that she could see her father wandering towards them from over Naruto's shoulder.

Hinata's face drained of colour, and her eyes went wide and round as dinner plates.

"U-uhm, N-Naruto-kun, I - I think you should turn a-around."

(Damn stutter.)

He looked somewhat concerned. "Is everything alright? Am I going to die? Is it a monster?"

Hinata's eyes got, if possible, wider.

"Well - Naruto-kun, uhm, this - this is m-my father."

* * *

Naruto stared at the man; he was like an older, wrinklier version of Neji. And he looked like he smelt something funky - his face was in this horrible grimace, that was so fucking scary, Naruto wanted to run for it, really.

"Oh... Uh...," he extended his arm, shaking it once the older man grabbed it in a firm grip, "Pleasure to meet you, sir, I'm Uzumaki Naruto."

"The pleasure is all mine. I am Hyuuga Hiashi." They both let go of each other's and and, clearing his throat, Hiashi added, "So. You are the boy that is dating my eldest daughter."

"Yes sir," Naruto nodded his head and stuffed his hands inside the pockets of his slacks.

"Then I suppose I must be civil. However, I know three hundred ways to make a person disappear, and if Hinata should ever come into our home crying because of you, you will _wish_ that I had decided to use one of them. Do I make myself clear?"

Naruto swallowed his gulp and instead maintained a composed facial expression - hey, being friends with people like Sasuke and Neji had it's perks. "Oh, I don't plan on hurting Hinata-chan, sir. Actually, if _someone_ were to hurt her, I'd very much hurt _them_. But your threat is very clear."

Hiashi gave a curt nod. "Good. Then we understand one another."

"Indeed."

And with that, the man turned and walked away.

Naruto let out a long, low breath and slumped his shoulders. God, that was nerve-wrecking.

* * *

Hinata stood there, and watched the whole quick, painful drama unfold.

...

And then her father walked away, and Hinata was able to breathe, again. She looked at Naruto in total, complete wonder. "He likes you. He _likes_ you, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto stared at her. "...Is it opposite day? 'Coz that man just _threatened_ me..."

Hinata was almost clapping her joy. Seriously, she couldn't even _explain_ what this meant; _he_ wouldn't be getting death threats, and _she_ wouldn't be looked at like some sort of rat for dating someone that her father didn't approve of! "Naruto-kun, he didn't tell you to get away from me and never see me again! He didn't throw you out! He _likes_ you!"

He looked a little ill. "...I think I'm going to faint. I'm feeling a little woozy; all those glasses of scotch... is there a seat somewhere?"

"No, Naruto-kun, this is a really, _really_ good thing! Unless, you know, you don't, uhm, want to date me anymore, because, well, yeah, then that would be worrying, but-"

Naruto almost yelped. "Don't be crazy! I'll date you even if I have to sell my soul!"

Hinata giggled, her whole body shaking with relief.

"Come dance with me?" she asked softly, eyes shining.

* * *

Naruto smiled, nice and wide and gave a curt nod.

He bent forwards, his hand outstretched, "May I have this dance?"

Hinata gave him a smile that could have outshone the sun, "But of course."

So he took her hand in his and led her, once again, to the dance floor where he possibly stole her heart all over again with twirls, and sways, and smiles. God, he was amazing, Naruto decided.

And Hinata was _beautiful_.

* * *

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**PLEASE REVIEW, because reviews are like kisses: beautiful and incredible and every single one is so very, very special. and we cherish them all, we really, really do. and, c'mon, seriously, don't tell me you all haven't been waiting for Neji and Tenten to fuck their issues out of each other, _because we know you have_!**


	43. how to be Miss Everything

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to missed connections- we're trying, love, really we are.

**sara scrunches her face up**: iLike grapefuit & The Pretty Reckless- Taylor Momsen's voice makes me cream. also dear winter: I HATE YOU. you make me lonely, among other things. sincerely, Sara  
**sonya is in the distance**: i love friends. i love _my_ friends, in particular. you're keeping me floating & i hope you know how much that means to me. & MY NANO PROJECT IS NOT A SHORT STORY. NOT BY A FREAKING LONG SHOT. _  
**les stares at two specific reviewers**: huh. really? okay, i suppose. such an insult. /mad

* * *

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* * *

Hanabi watched her older sister and her older sister's boyfriend.

Aww, they were so cute, it was sickening.

She wheel away from the dance floor, and went to find Konohamaru.

He was stuffing his face.

Ugh.

Hanabi sneered at him. "You are revolting. Get off your fat ass and stop stuffing your face, it's degrading for me to look at. _Now_, you oaf!"

He shot her a scathing glance. "Fuck off, you big boobed bitch."

Hanabi's hands flew to her hips, covered in layers and layers of chocolate-coloured tulle. "Watch your language, idiot. I only invited you so you could help me get everyone drunk - _not_ to stuff your face and look like some sort of brainless _slug_!"

"Hey, hey! I talk however the _fuck_ I want, Toots. And if your dad spent money on this food, it's so people could enjoy it. And, fuck it, I'm _enjoying_ it."

Hanabi gave him one of her most disdainful looks, and managed to study her nails at the same time. "That's what Suigetsu calls Karin - and you _know_ it. Ugh. Stop picking up other people's nicknames, it makes you look terribly unimaginative. But then, I suppose that's what you're best at, isn't it?"

"Listen, babe, you need to calm down or... Should _I_ calm you down?"

_One_ of the most disdainful turned to _the_ most disdainful, and Hanabi looked like she was about to be violently sick. "Keep your dirty paws off me. I'm too pretty for you. Also, too young."

He was _smirking_, the _bastard_. "Yeah? Keep playing hard to get."

Hanabi scrunched up her face, the moon-pale eyes, mirrors to her sisters, narrowed up to slits. "Please. I'm not playing. Not with you, or anyone. I _loath_ you."

"Do you really? Then why the hell do you always call me? Seriously! My call log's just like: Hanabi, Hanabi, Hanabi, Hanabi, Hanabi, Moegi, Hanabi, Hanabi." Konohamaru just stared at her.

"Because who _else_ would do my dirty work?" Hanabi pouted at him in that annoyingly ireesistable thirteen-year-old way.

Konohamaru just raised an eyebrow at her. "Okay, yeah, I'm out of here."

Hanabi barked a sharp, angry laugh. "Sure you are. And I'll tell Moegi that you tried to sneak into her bedroom when she was in the shower. You really want that?"

"Dude, your threats don't scare me."

"I can always tell my daddy you made me _cry_..."

"Huh. Whatever, see ya on the flip side, Hyuuga."

Hanabi huffed, tossed her hair, and started to walk away. Over her shoulder, she threw him a "Fine. Be like that, jerk."

And then she went to find Moegi.

* * *

Konohamaru was annoyed.

No, not even annoyed - he was... he was... He was something more than annoyed, okay, people? Seriously! The nerve of that damn Hyuuga; _god _did he _despise _her. She was exactly like her father; always looking down at people from over her nose. Even people taller than her!

God!

He was making his way towards the exit and he'd like to say that he was doing a fairly good job at it... that was before an arm slid around his shoulders and two taller figures appeared in front of him, along with the other who Konohamaru was now positive had his arm around his shoulders.

Dark gray eyes stared at Kiba who had his arms crossed in front of his chest, at Sasuke who had a hand stuffed inside his slacks pocket and the other one holding a glass of that nasty rum and... Suigetsu had an arm wrapped around his shoulder.

Konohamaru stared, "May I help you guys?"

* * *

Kiba just shook his head at the younger teenager. "Dude, what the hell was that?"

Konohmaru looked affronted. It wasn't like this was something new - Konohamaru was sort of their mascot (or something). Naruto had met the kid one day; apparently, he'd been sulking in the Hyugga's kitchen, because he'd done something to set Hanabi off. Naruto had been waiting to take Hinata out (and had been getting antsy, because it was getting late-ish, and at that point, it would have taken a bat out of hell to get him to meet Hiashi).

So, they'd got to talking, and the then-fourteen-year-old had grumbled his assent that Naruto actually sort of knew what he was talking about.

"...What was _what_?" Konohamaru all but snarled at them. Fuck, that girl just made him want to _strangle_ things.

Kiba groaned. The kid was fucking stupid, sometimes. "_That_! If you're going to hit on someone like Hanabi, you're gonna have to grow some grey matter, shit-for-brains."

Suigetsu just shook his head emphatically. "Little dude, you have to think with your brain, not your hormones... or your dick."

Sasuke just scoffed.

Konohamaru glared a dark glare. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Kiba twitched, and he'd soundly whacked Konohamaru over the top of the head in the next split second. "Kid, shut the fuck up, and _listen_ to us! Suigetsu's dating one of the craziest bitches I've ever met -Neji actually wins that one, sorry 'Getsu-, and... like, _Christ_. What are we gonna _do_ with you?"

Sasuke actually opened his drunk mouth, and muttered "She's a Hyuuga, kid. You _have_ to kiss her ass."

Konohamaru _did not_ look happy.

* * *

Suigetsu continued to shake his head.

"See, little dude, you're not _supposed _to leave when she's being a bitch. Because then you lose it all; you're supposed, like the drunk bastard over there said, kiss ass."

Sasuke nodded his head sagely, eyes closed and everything. That was before he took a long gulp of his drink, of course. "So, you should _definitely_ turn around and find Haru... or..." He turned to the others and blinked his glassy eyes, "...What the fuck's her name?"

Suigetsu snorted, "Hanabi, dumbass."

Sasuke nodded again, "Hanabi. You should definitely go find her again."

Konohamaru huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, "I'm doing no such thing."

"Why the fuck not?" Kiba looked as if he were in complete disbelief. "...what the hell is WRONG with you, kid?"

Suigetsu and Sasuke blinked their eyes and, at the same time, said, "...Don't you _want _to get laid at some point?"

Konohamaru glared, "I've gotten laid before!"

"See, that's good. But it's... Just _go_, you little idiot."

And Konohamaru was pushed the opposite way he had been intending to go. Grumbling, he turned to look at the three older idiots and all he received were nods and thumbs up. God, this sucked balls.

* * *

Hanabi liked dancing, actually.

Her fingers were linked through Moegi's, and the two girls swung around and around in time to the music, laughing like loons. Okay, so Hanabi was a full year younger then the other girl (skipping a grade did have it's downsides, although they were few and far between), but that hadn't stopped the two girls from being best friends.

So _why_ was it so easy to get along with Moegi, and so _hard_ to get along with Konohamaru? He and Moegi were best friends, too - so why couldn't _they_ be friends? (Or, like, even _civil_? Hanabi and Konohmaru were like water and oil; it did _not_ get along. Like, _ever_.)

Hanabi swung gracefully under Moegi's arm and, laughing, caught Udon's hand, and pulled him along for the ride.

This was a completely normal occurance, even when they weren't on a dance floor with horrible music that the adults (fffff, what adults?) seemed to like.

Hanabi was like a flash flood; wild, uncontrollable, and would pull everything along in her wake.

And that was just the way she liked it.

If Konohamaru was just going to be jerk about it - well, she didn't care, then.

He could _suck it_.

* * *

God, if he died because of this, he was going to come back as a ghost and rip Suigetsu, Kiba and Sasuke's balls off. Seriously.

Gulping, he stepped into the dance floor and walked towards where Udon was being a total fag and twirling around with Moegi and... Hanabi. Glaring for a second, he relaxed himself and cut in the twirling and whatever, taking a grip of Hanabi's hands and whisking her away in their own single dance.

"Hello," he murmured, barely moving his lips as he spoke.

Hanabi all but hissed. "_What _are you _doing_?"

"Dancing. We're dancing."

"No we're _not_. You're _kidnapping _me!"

Konohamaru fought the urge to snort, "Not even!"

"Yes, you _are_! Do I look like I _want_ to be here?"

"And why _don't _you? What have _I _done to _you_?"

"Because you - you are _annoying_! And you pulled me away from Moegi and Udon, and that was _rude_!"

Konohamaru glared. "Maybe I want you for myself!"

Hanabi scoffed, "Don't be an asshole."

"I'm not being an asshole - I have other charms, you know. I can be nice, and friendly, I can treat you to ramen or anything you'd like. If you'd let me, I can make you smile and if I'm lucky, even laugh."

At this, Hanabi stared at him, disbelief written clear across her features. "Okay. Who are you, and what have you done with Konohamaru?"

"I _am_ him. Why's it so hard for you to just _let_ me be nice to you?"

"Because you're _never _nice!" She all but shrieked.

"I can if you'd _let _me! God!"

"Why would you _want _to?"

At this, Konohamaru almost froze, and he would have if it weren't for the flow of the dance. "...Because..."

"Because _why, _Konohamaru?"

"...Because you're pretty. And... And... Just because, okay!"

"I want to _kick _you, right now," Hanabi hissed.

"I want to _kiss _you, right now," Konohamaru countered.

"Are you_ crazy_?" Hanabi half-screech at him, her voice zinging through an octave on the last word.

"Not yet, but if this keeps going, I will be."

"If _what_ keeps going?"

Konohamaru let raised one of his hands and waved it around them. "_This_! You... You being such a _bitch_; god, and you're a genius? If I do your bidding and do fucked up shit to people with you, it's got to be more than just for kicks! Have you ever_ thought _of that?"

"_Yes_, I _have_! I think _everything_ through, Konohamaru! You know that better then _anyone_!"

"Then why is it so _hard _for you?"

"I don't_ know_!"

Konohamaru sighed and just shook his head.

* * *

Hanabi's brain could not handle this sort of stress, right at this moment. (God, was it any wonder that Hinata fainted so often? Hanabi's brain felt like it was going to implode at any given moment - probably way sooner then later, actually. Okay, exiting situation _now_...)

"Konohamaru, let me go, please," she murmured softly.

They were in the middle of the song. Hanabi watched hurt flash across his face, and she willed herself not to lose it. _Overly-large brain, please don't fail me now_...

"...If... that's what you want..." and he let her go.

Hanabi took a deep breath of air into her lungs. It tasted sickly, like bad decisions, and suddenly, Hanabi didn't know what the hell she was supposed to be doing. She wanted to run to Hinata and cry and wail and _what were these feelings_, this was _very very **not right**_.

Hanabi didn't like the world, right then.

"Can we go talk somewhere... private?"

He still looked hurt. "...Like where?"

"I don't... know. Maybe outside?"

Hanabi _sucked_ at feelings.

Seriously.

* * *

Konohamaru stiffly followed her outside. His eyes were narrowed, his whole body was wary and his heart was amidst the process of building a thick brick wall around itself. That all sounded completely lame to him and he kinda wished he had kept his trap shut to prevent from being in this current situation but... God, if this is what it meant to grow up, then he'd like to be five again, thanks.

They came to a stop in a balcony; Konohamaru scanned the place and subconsciously sneered at the twinkling stars in the sky and demanded they all get lost or something. Shaking his head, he turned so that his back would lean against the cool stone of the balcony, arms dangling over it as he stared at the inside of the place with minor distaste.

"Okay, so what?"

"I don't understand you," she said in a heartbeat.

Konohamaru blinked and remained hidden behind his detached mask. "What's there to understand?"

"_You_!_ Everything _about _you_!" Hanabi looked as if she wanted to fly with the way she moved her arms as she spoke; Konohamaru tried to keep his eyes in one single spot before he got dizzy.

"Well what do you _want_ to understand? Because if you'd really want to, it'd be easy. I'm not some mysterious person, you know; I'm kind of an open book."

"I want you to stop being so _dumb_!"

"_How_ the _hell _am I being _dumb_?"

"You listen to me." Her voice went sort of softer than her shrieks and that smile she quirked her lips into made her look sad. Konohamaru didn't like it. "And I don't know why."

"...Okay, then I won't listen to you. I won't answer your calls, I won't say okay to your stupid ideas and that's the end of it."

"You know what, Kono? Forget it. Just go. Because you obviously don't want to be here, and I don't want to ruin your life."

"What the hell? What the hell gave you _that_ idea? I'm fucking agreeing to what you _want _because you_ want_ it! What the hell do I have to do?" Konohamaru's anger began to flare again, just at her words. God, he didn't understand girls, at all.

"Why does what I want _matter _to you?"

"For a genius, you're really an idiot, Hanabi."

"What - what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It means that is painfully obvious. So obvious, it can slap you in the face. And yet you'd never be able to tell. I'm out of here."

"No! _What_ is painfully obvious? _Why _are you being infuriatingly _contradictory_?"

"No one's being contradi-whatever but you!"

"I am_ not _being contradictory!" Her voice went painfully quiet, if they hadn't been outside and alone, Konohamaru wouldn't have been able to catch what she said. "I don't understand what you _want_, Konohamaru."

"What I want? I want something that I apparently can't have. As fucking stupid as _that _sounds. So... Just don't worry about it."

"What are you trying to _say_?" And she looked so genuinely lost, genuinely confused that Konohamaru's brain malfunctioned. Made him abort the whole thing and just want to _leave_.

"I know we don't always get along but - but I - care about you, idiot!"

He nodded his head crisply and avoided her eyes. "Yeah, I... I know. I care about you, too. But we probably care about each other in different ways."

"Oh yeah? And what makes you think _that_?" And she was back to being challenging.

Konohamaru didn't have the heart to be as challenging. He merely shrugged and continued to look at anything but her.

"I dare you to prove that it's different. I _dare _you."

At that, his eyes instantly snapped her way, gluing themselves on her form; staring at her chin raised up, her eyes looking down at him, even if he was taller than she was. And Konohamaru was, once again, trying to figure out what the hell he should do... or what he _wanted _to do. He shook his head slowly, "Don't play like that, Hanabi."

"I'm not _playing_. When do I ever play?"

So, hesitantly, Konohamaru neared her. And he slowly raised his hands to cup her cheeks and move her hair out of the way. And his eyes scanned her face; smooth skin, pale eyes and... and... He kissed her.

* * *

Everything in Hanabi's very confused brain froze.

Oh. _Oh_.

_That_ was what he meant.

Hanabi stood statue still, eyes wide open, and she simply let him kiss her (she could taste alcohol on his breath, the idiot, she was just going to _kill_ him...); she didn't really know what else to do. When he finally did pull away, Hanabi had three choices:

One, she could push him away, start screaming like a banshee, and possibly ruin any sort of friendship they ever had in the first place. Two, she could run away, and let herself breath, and maybe analyze the whole situation to a point that was dangerous, and she'd end up confronting him at school, or something. Or three, she could just kiss him back.

However, none of those seemed reasonable.

And Hanabi had always been in the habit of making her own choices.

So she pulled back an inch, and blinked at him. "Well. Uhm. Okay. That was - I think I - I don't know. Can we sit down? I think I might fall over."

He grinned goofily at her, apparently relieved that she hadn't done something very Hanabi like (read: pushed him off, thrown a fit, screamed in his face, etc.), and said "I'll catch you!"

Hanabi just looked at him. "You'd better."

* * *

Yeah, now he felt like a complete idiot.

He cleared his throat and tried not to concentrate on how awkward he was growing; instead, he settled to running his hands through his hair and looking at, once again, anything but her. He cleared his throat again and gave a quick nod.

"Yeah."

"So... what now?"

Konohamaru coughed and just tried to freak out. "...We can always kiss some more."

"..."

"...I was kidding..."

"I know. I'm considering what my sister is going to say."

Konohamaru just snorted lightly. "She'd faint, pretty much... No offense."

"Oh, yeah, probably. Altho' Naruto seems to be trying to shock it out of her. She doesn't faint so much when he kisses her out of the blue, anymore."

"Like this?" He bent forward and placed a quick butterfly kiss on her lips.

Hanabi blinked and a light blush coated her cheekbones. "Just like that."

"Oh." He gave her lips yet another butterfly kiss on her lips. "No wonder he does it; it's fun."

"You're weird."

"Yeah. You're prettier when you're not screeching at me." He looked away to hide his blush.

"You're slightly less irritating when you're not making stupid, sexist comments."

"Huh."

"Yeah."

It was quiet for a minute, that was before Konohamaru decided to just... stop beating around the bush. "I told you we care about each other differently."

* * *

Hanabi just looked at him.

(And _she_ was dense? What right did _he_ have, to talk? _Ugh_.)

"Konohamaru," she said slowly. "I just let you kiss me. I didn't scream, I didn't push you away, and I didn't break anything in the process of trying to get away from you. I haven't even moved, really. Think about that."

She watched him turn red, and smiled, a little.

Oh, Tenten was just going to _kill_ her.

Hanabi ducked her head down to hide her smile.

* * *

"O-oh... Well... Uh..."

He ran a hand through his hair, again, and looked at anything but her, again.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Konohamaru cleared his throat. "What's what supposed to mean? The kiss or my stutter?"

God, this was so embarrassing. But... at least they now knew why the bickered so much; seriously, and you'd think being mean to your crush was so kindergarden - _wrong_. Apparently it happened to preteens, too. Konohamaru inwardly rolled his eyes.

* * *

"I don't know. Both. Neither. Can we please sit down before I fall over?"

But, still, they stood, almost nose-to-nose - Hanabi really didn't like that she had to look up at him, now. She had been taller then him until - when was it, last year? The year before? She couldn't remember...

"You can sit, if you'd like." He paused to run his hand through his hair. "But... I don't know? What do you want it to mean?"

"Are we still friends? Is that still allowed? _Are_ we even friends?"

"...I don't know? God, why are you asking me all these questions - I'm not a guru!"

"I'm asking questions because I don't understand. What _is_ this?"

"It's called _liking_ someone. It's when you have deep feelings for someone."

And Hanabi could only blink at him. She hadn't... really... ever thought of it... like that (well, there _was_ was reason that Hinata sometimes shook her head, and just muttered something about how Hanabi was too much like Father and Neji... But that was probably just Hinata being crazy). "...Oh."

They both remained quiet for a moment, music and laughter from downstairs seeping upwards, and weaving around Hanabi like a familiar, comforting blanket. It enveloped them both, she thought. Hanabi bit her lip, and chanced a glance up at him.

...

Stupid Konohmamaru. He wasn't going to break the silence; that left it up to her. She chewed on her bottom lip for another two seconds. It wasn't enough time for Hanabi to really contemplate what she was about to do, and that was a first for her, but - she just-

Hanabi didn't even really have a word for it.

Was this what Hinata felt like _all the time_? How had she not _exploded_, or something?

Hanabi gathered all the courage she had in her body. "What would you do if I, you know... kissed you?"

He was _smirking_ again. That _bastard_. "I'd kiss you back, obviously."

Hanabi glared up at him through her bangs, to hide the fact that her hands were shaking. "Would you?"

"Do it. I _dare_ you to."

Hanabi choked.

"What - you - _that's not fair_, you _know_ I can't - GAH. THAT'S CHEATING, KONOHAMARU."

And he just kept smirking.

Hanabi was just going to _smack_ him, one of these days.

She grumbled (loudly), fisted her hands in his _stupid_ shirt, cursed this whole _stupid_ evening, and was just going to _kill everyone_. She pulled him down to her level.

"You are a _cheater_," she told him furiously, and then angrily pulled his head the inch and half closer that was required for her lips to touch his.

* * *

Even if he already knew what she was going to do, his eyes still managed to widen as their lips touched.

It took him a minute, but he soon placed his hands on her waist and brought her closer, just a bit. And kissed her back - of _course _he kissed her back. There was this weird feeling in Konohamaru's insides but it was a cool weird feeling; like... he was a fuzzy monster or something stupid like that.

Bah.

"Your dad's going to kill me," he muttered once they both pulled away.

"He didn't kill Naruto. Well, not yet, anyway."

He swallowed his snicker. "That's a different story."

Hanabi raised an eyebrow, "Not really?"

"Yes really. Your sister's... older? And you're what? Thirteen?"

"Hinata's my father's little princess - she looks like my mom. He could care less what I do, as long as it doesn't cause a scandal, or something."

He stayed silent at that. "So... does that mean I can kiss you some more and still keep all my limbs?"

* * *

Hanabi actually _smiled_.

"Maybe sometimes."

He grinned a little goofily at her, and Hanabi felt her stomach do something weird that it probably shouldn't have been able to anatomically manage.

"...This is cool," he murmured quietly, and somehow managed to rest his chin on top of her head. Hanabi was not pleased. Her dress was itchy and uncomfortable and _he was taller than her, **why was he taller than her**_?

Hanabi kind of huffed and pouted.

She wanted out of this dress.

She wanted out of this dress, _now_.

"Konohamaru... I don't wanna be here anymore. I wanna go - somewhere. Take me somewhere." Hanabi didn't really care if she was whining. She was _going_ to get _out_ of this dress, _as soon as possible_. And if that meant whining, then that meant whining. She took a step back, so that she didn't have to look up his nostrils or something equally revolting.

He looked severely relieved, and Hanabi knew she'd said the right thing. "Tch, I've been dying to take this tie off - I'd back you up if we leave."

The pout that had currently been Hanabi's facial expression was slowly, slowly turning into a very _dangerous_ grin. She could almost _hear_ him gulp. "Ohhhh, my father is going to _so mad_. LET'S GO!"

Konohamaru when white as a sheet. "I don't want to die, Hanabi."

Hanabi continued to grin at him, her voice taking on a teasing edge. "Don't worry, I'll protect you."

_That_ got him looking grumpy. "I do _not_ need protection from a _girl_."

The teasing edge turned into full-blown playful mocking. "Then what are you so _afriad_ of?"

"Nothing."

Hanabi got smirky, then. "Then you should be able to face my father _just fine_."

Konohamaru looked up at the ceiling despairingly. "Oh, god, be quiet."

Hanabi, with her hands on her tulle-covered hips, stuck her tongue out at him. She only told him one thing, before whipping around (layers and layers of pretty brown tulle like liquid chocolate waves, and uncomfortable heels; it was worth it all) and running for the door.

"_Make_ me, Konohamaru."

* * *

Konohamaru just literally blanched - face going as blank as a piece of unwritten paper, eyes blinking in perplexity and mouth in a frown.

..._What_.

It took him a minute or two to understand. And seconds later he was going after that weird-weird-weird girl that managed to get a firm grip on his attention.

* * *

.

.

.

Sakura shivered as she followed Karin into the Hyuuga's banquet reception hall. Her stupid coat (black wool-knit, thick, warm fabric on the outside, cream satin on the inside) was longer then her dress, and her legs were _cold_.

...

It _really_ sucked that such a pretty (and expensive; the price tag still made Sakura wince, even though Hinata had offered to help pay for it) dress was so hideously flimsy. She was going to _freeze_.

And she couldn't even see her stupid boyfriend anywhere.

Sakura pouted, and headed towards the coat-check.

* * *

Sasuke hated being friends with Neji for this sole reason.

The Stupid Banquet.

Seriously.

And given that Hiashi didn't scare him at all, Sasuke didn't even follow his request of dressing formally. Because formally for someone like Hiashi meant... It mean having a stick up your ass to the other end. Stiffer than 'stiff as a rod'. And Sasuke may have his stiff-stick-up-your-ass moments. But damn right he had a limit!

So instead, he dressed in black on black. Black button-up shirt, black vest, black slacks and _black converses_.

Dress shoes?

Yeah, no thanks.

...Where was Sakura?

The memory of what _she _was wearing made him want to find her _fast_.

...That was before he saw the Rum Table.

* * *

Sakura couldn't see anyone she knew, except for Karin (who was standing in front of her, dazzling in red and black and rhinestones - that was _so_ Karin, too), so she almost-sort of clung to the redhead. "Karin, there are _too many people here_!"

Karin just looked bored. "Your boyfriend is getting drunk already," she said. Sakura whipped around, only to find Sasuke standing in front of the refreshments table, chugging back a glass of what looked like ice-cold rum.

Sakura sighed. "What do we do?"

Karin's eyes flashed ruby red laughter (for once free of the constraints of her glasses due to the contacts she'd somehow managed to wrangle from somewhere). "Oh, Sakura, love. We _dance_."

And Sakura blinked, and allowed herself to be led out onto the mostly empty dance floor.

* * *

Sasuke was in the process of refilling his glass, concentration on the amazingness that was the rum.

"Dude," a familiar voice drawled, "Make me one."

Sasuke turned to give Suigetsu a lazy stare before he handed him the glass that he had claimed as his own a second before. Watching as Suigetsu chugged the rum, Sasuke was quick to make his own; adding ice and then the scotch, giving it a light stir with the tip if his pointer finger.

"Fuck that's good," Suigetsu sighed, placing the empty glass on the table.

Sasuke nodded. "Hell yeah."

Waiting for Suigetsu to refill, Sasuke extended his arm (with the glass of scotch) and nudged for the younger male to refill it as well. Once they were stocked up, they turned around to watch everyone mingle and whatever. Sasuke stuffed his unoccupied hand into the pocket of his slacks, dark eyes scanning the place for pink hair.

And then he caught what he was looking for. In the dance floor.

Sasuke's jaw tensed at the sight of... well... Her legs... Out there.

"Heyyy," Suigetsu was slower than Naruto, Sasuke reminded himself. "Isn't that your girlfriend?"

"Dancing with yours," Sasuke countered.

Suigetsu's ice-purple eyes narrowed as he stared at Karin. "Huh."

"If you continue to stare at Sakura's legs, I'm going to shove that glass somewhere painful."

Laughing, Suigetsu shook his head and took a long sip of his drink.

Sasuke? He glared.

* * *

Sakura laughed as Karin swung her around. The banquet spun around her head in a flurry of colours, out of touch with the smooth, soft jazz playing in the background (Sakura would never understand how Karin managed to turn something as innocent as _jazz_ into a slut-fest; but it happened all the time). "Your boyfriend is staring at us, and he's got a cloud on his face."

Sakura shrugged. "He's always got a cloud on his face."

Karin smiled mischievously, threw back her head, and laughed, hair falling everywhere. "It's those legs, honey. He's _jealous_, again. But what else is new?"

"You're insane," Sakura deadpanned, but shot a glance at Sasuke, across the room, anyway. She could see the way his knuckles were tight around the glass he was holding, even from this distance. Sakura smiled coyly at him, and Karin whispered in her ear "_Someone's_ getting laid tonight, hm?"

A dull flush spread across Sakura's cheeks, and Karin smirked.

"You're so obvious, Sakura."

"I don't know you," Sakura told her primly, and Karin just laughed.

* * *

Suigetsu snorted.

"Dude, green is _not _your color."

Sasuke scoffed, "I'm not envious of anything, idiot."

Blinking, Suigetsu pressed his lips together as he turned to stare at his friend. "Envy? Oh... I got that wrong - I meant you're jealous for nothing, bro."

Sometimes, Sasuke wondered who was stupider - Suigetsu or Naruto. Because, god, the things that came out of Suigetsu's mouth made no type of sense at all. He was like an idiotic bag of hot-gas. So he just rolled his eyes and chugged his drink down, turning around to get some more.

"Dude, your girl is looking _hot_," Suigetsu said, if only to get Sasuke to react.

Glaring, Sasuke smacked him. "Shut up."

His eyes glued themselves on Sakura, watching as she and her red-haired friend (what was her name again? Kimmie? What?) danced. He _knew _she should have gotten a different dress; that one was too - too - _ack_, what was he talking about, there was no _dress_ there _at all_.

"Duuuuude," Suigetsu drawled, "Stop eating her with your eyes."

"Suigetsu. _S__hut up_."

Suigetsu laughed.

* * *

The song ended, and Karin linked her arm through Sakura's. "C'mon. We're going to talk to your boyfriend, and I'm going to get _my_ boyfriend to stop being such an alcoholic."

Sakura sighed, and allowed Karin to drag her off the dance floor.

(Like she could really do anything else; Karin was kind of a force of nature, like that.)

They headed straight towards the refreshments table. Sakura wasn't sure if this was a good idea, really; she could see the way that Sasuke was getting more and more (jaw-clenched-knuckles-white-skin-around-his-eyes-tight) annoyed, as they crossed the floor.

But it didn't faze Karin a bit.

The red-headed (banshee) girl stopped five feet in front of the two of them, cocked her hip to one side, looked both boys up and down, and drawled, voice playful "Well, well, look what the cat dragged in."

Sakura despaired.

When was Karin going to _learn_?

* * *

Suigetsu stared at Karin with a bored, blank look. "Look what the strip-club let loose."

Karin raised an eyebrow and snorted. "And you want to get laid?"

With his eyes shimmering with all his attention, Suigetsu perked up. "Sex? What? Where?"

"Maybe later," Karin smiled and gave him a wink.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and looked away from them... And his eyes landed on Sakura.

"I don't know them," she muttered, looking as if she were in the process of trying to figure out how and why they were dating. Sasuke was smart - he stopped wondering ages ago.

But Sasuke vaguely paid attention to that and instead concentrated on just how much _skin _Sakura was showing. And how he wished to take off his button-up shirt and drape it around her because it was _not _fucking cool, man. Seriously.

(_BUT SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING HOT_, the Suigetsu and Kiba in his head chanted. _BANG HER. BANG HER. BANG HER_.)

Sasuke chose to gulp down his drink.

"Hn."

"So, how are you?" She looked as if she was trying her hardest to ignore the come-hither-fuck-that-let's-fuck-right-now looks Suigetsu and Karin were sending each other.

Sasuke turned away enough to still face her and face the table that held The Rum.

"Fine," he grunted. "And you?"

"I'm okay." Her eyes darted to the glass he was currently filling up. "...Sasuke, I kind of think you should maybe put the alcohol down..."

He smirked a lazy smirk. "If I put it down, I'll pick _you _up."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "And that's a bad thing?"

"Depends," he said, bringing the glass to linger on his lips.

"On what?" she asked, tilting her head.

"On how you take it."

"Then maybe I should take _this_," and she grabbed the glass of iced alcohol in his hand, "and take it out of the question." And then, gathering courage she didn't know she had, Sakura guzzled the alcohol down.

Sasuke watched with intense eyes, completely silent, no protests. Just _lust_.

* * *

Sakura didn't drink that often.

And that was why the rum went straight to her head. It burned it's way down her throat, and sat in her stomach like a pit of fire (well, there _was_ a reason some people called it _liquid courage_...). Sakura grinned up at Sasuke through lowered lashes.

"So where does that leave us, Sasuke?"

He was doing That Looming Over Her thing again. And That Smirking Thing. And That _Leering_ Thing.

Oh god.

Sakura gulped.

Sasuke bent down over her, and brushed his lips along her ear. "I'm down for anywhere, Sa-ku-ra."

_Grow some tits, woman_, Karin scolded inside her head (even though the actual girl was standing not two feet away, smirking like the world was about to fall down).

And so Sakura did.

She stood up on her tiptoes, and fisted her hands in Sasuke's shirt. "You didn't really answer my question, you know," she breathed. "_Where_ does that _leave_ us, Sa-su-ke?"

"Sakura, just shut up. Figure it out on your own," Sasuke growled, and dipped his head down. Sakura met his lips half-way, and shivered. God, how had she even ever thought that it was possible to get over someone like Sasuke?

It just wasn't possible. Sakura's fists tightened.

(Vaguely, in the distance, Sakura thought she could hear the Hyuuga family gasping in shock. She couldn't help grinning.)

* * *

Sasuke could care less about a lot of things.

He could see that slamming Sakura against a hard surface in front of people was one of them. But he refrained; he didn't need Neji's bitching to make him go deaf. So he just pulled her closer, snaked his arms around her waist and kissed her harder for a second longer.

"Are you drunk _already_?" he murmured against her lips, a teasing smirk on his lips.

"Nah, not that fast."

He pulled away, an arm still wrapped around her waist. Smirking, he said, "Good." His eyes, once again, drifted down to her legs; he glared. "That dress is annoying."

Sakura scoffed, "I like it."

"Take it off," he drawled.

Sakura looked up at him, "Right here?"

His grip on her tightened as he began to lead her away. "I'll tell you when," he whispered.

* * *

"Are you _kidnapping_ me, Sasuke?" Sakura asked, even as she had an urge to pull a Karin, and start wrapping strands of her hair around her fingers.

"Something like that," he murmured in her ear.

Sakura bit back a giggle. "What if I don't _want_ to be kidnapped?"

She didn't need to see the look on his face to know that he was determined - she could tell, from the way his voice was taut, strained. "I'll _make_ you want to be kidnapped."

You know, Sakura kind of loved the fact that she could turn him from perfectly rational to completely undone with only a few words. And that probably made her a bad person, or something, but Sakura didn't really care. "Oh, how?"

He stopped, and just smirked down at her for a moment.

Sakura huffed. "There are people around," she pointed out.

"And I care?"

"You should."

"But I don't."

"But you should," Sakura repeated, and watched as a twitch appeared in his eye. Oh, cute.

"Quiet, Sakura."

"_Make_ me, Sasuke."

...She was so going to hell, for this.

* * *

Sasuke froze mid-step and looked down at her.

Pink hair, green eyes, fair skin - and under all that she was a complete vixen. And there was that possibility of her not knowing it.

Sasuke bit back a groan and dragged her with him, his eyes searching-searching-searching. You know, Sasuke didn't really know when the hell he became this addicted to sex; but, he blamed Sakura. Seriously - that girl was going to drive him nuts; but he'd be damned if he ever let her know that.

He opened a door and almost laughed in relief; just what he was looking for... the bathroom.

Sasuke shoved her inside, closing and locking the door behind him.

"Make you," he repeated, voice raspy.

"Make me," she said, again, and he was starting to think that she was picking up his habit of smirking at anything and everything.

Smirking right back at her, his hands took a grip of her rear, lifting her up to the sink and crashing his lips to hers.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Karin smirked at Suigetsu. "So they're probably fucking, by now. What'cha wanna do?"

"Fuck."

Karin rolled her eyes. "Do you ever think of anything else? Like, _ever_?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, when I'm hungry..."

That totally didn't count. "Other then that," Karin clarified.

"Well... What do you want me to think of?" he asked.

She shrugged back. "I don't know. Dancing. People. School. Me."

Karin caught the blush that rose up in his cheeks for a moment, and prepared herself to restrain herself from squealing. She was right to do so - his next words made her want to flail like Ino, and just throw herself at him. "I do think about you."

There was really no response to that, other then linking her arms around his waist, and hugging him. "I think about you, too, dummy," she muttered into the blackness of his shirt (damn it, her make-up was going to smear. But it would be worth it).

She had a feeling that he was probably blinking down at her. "Yeah?" he asked, softly.

Karin just nodded, face still pressed against his shirt. "Yeah. All the time. Want to dance?" _C__hange the subject, change the subject_...

"I like this. Makes me want you more." He blinked as the next part entered his mind. "Dance? No. I hate dancing."

Karin pulled away, and pouted up at him. Oh, he would dance. Dancing was good. Dancing was beautiful. Dancing was - it was _life_! "Please? You know how much I love it, and it's fun."

He just stared at her, for a minute. And then he sighed, and Karin knew she'd won. "Fine, just one song."

She just smiled at him, red hair everywhere, and glasses nowhere to be found (she felt pretty). She slipped her hand into his. "Thanks, Sui."

* * *

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He glared as she dragged him to the dance floor.

His eyes stared at the couples dancing around them and he mimicked their stances; one hand on Karin's waist the other one holding one of Karin's hands in the air. He blinked and wondered just what the hell he was doing. He never danced; well... not never. He _danced_, just not to this.

"What the hell are we doing?" he grumbled.

Karin snorted and rolled her eyes, still smiling, "It's called a waltz, Sui."

"Gah - whatever."

So he just let her lead him, moving when she moved and so on so forth.

"So," he said after a moment of silence. "You think about me? What about?"

* * *

Karin smiled at him slowly. "I could ask you the same question."

He raised a single pale eyebrow at her. "I asked you first, Toots."

That stupid nickname. Karin couldn't help grinning at him, childish glee in her eyes. "But I mentioned it first."

Suigetsu just snorted. "I could care less. I asked first."

Karin wasn't sure if she should pout at him, stick her tongue out, or both; all three were good options, but sticking her tongue out was seeming like the best one, if only because pouting would just take too much energy, right then. Also, pouting plus sticking her tongue out? That would require co-ordination that Karin didn't have.

"You suck," she told succinctly.

The smirk that smeared itself across his face was alarming. "No, _that's _your job."

Karin was seriously debating punching him in the stomach, after that comment. "You _wish_," she muttered, testily.

He was still smirking (was there even a remedy for that?), all teasing, and it was _bothersome to Karin, **rawr**_. "It's not a wish, Toots. It's a fact."

"Oh, really. Since when?" Karin asked, torn between the desire to sock him in the gut, and to start laughing. Or maybe just stick her tongue out. Or something. Yeah.

"Since the person we're talking about is _you_," Suigetsu told her.

Karin just stared at him. _Contrary to popular belief, a lot of girls **do** actually like sucking dick_, she thought.

"...I think I'm insulted."

Not that she would ever tell him that.

Suigetsu shook his head, white hair falling across his eyes. Karin had an inexplicable urge to brush it out of his face; he looked odd, when she couldn't see his eyes. It made her... _itchy_, for lack of a better word. But he was speaking, his voice the rough-smooth slide of sand over silk, "You shouldn't be. It's a compliment."

Karin stared, deadpan. No, she wasn't insulted - she was amused, and was trying (and probably failing) to hide it. "You basically just called me a slut. _How_ is that a compliment, again?"

"Because it's coming from _me_. And," he dipped down so his mouth hovered close to her ear, "I like the things you do in bed."

...Omaai. Karin fought the flush that was trying to force itself across her face away. No, she was _not_ going to blush like Hinata, because she was _Karin_, and she _did not blush_. Like, _ever_. It was just not done, seriously!

But that didn't stop the dirty comments from making themselves known. "Then why are we still _here_, and not _doing_ those things _right now_?"

"Because you made us dance. You'll just have to wait 'til the song is over, Toots."

The look that snaked it's way across Karin's face could only be described as _evil_. "Somehow, I don't think so, cowboy."

And she slid her hand down his pants.

* * *

Suigetsu would have frozen completely if they hadn't been dancing in the dance-floor with people possibly looking at them. Instead, he settled for hissing through his teeth, amethyst eyes shooting down to where the problem seemed to be coming from.

Slowly, he looked back up at Karin's face.

"That's cheating."

There was a gleaming light in her wine-red eyes as she looked up at him. "How?"

"Karin," he hissed, "Stop being a tease."

"You just called me a slut in a very roundabout way. Why can't I prove you right?" A cat's grin appeared on her lips and Suigetsu wanted, quite frankly, to get the _hell _out of there. Preferably with her in tow.

He tensed and swallowed thickly. "And I told you to wait until the damn song is over."

With all the strength he could muster (and _fuck_, because no one said he didn't want to fuck her brains out right then and there) he pulled her hand out of his slacks.

* * *

Karin actually wanted to _cry_.

(Okay, that was a lie, but whatever.)

"You're not fun," she told him.

She could feel the way his muscles tightened beneath his skin. "Just 'coz I don't always submit to you, doesn't mean I'm not fun," and his voice was a half-growl.

...

One of the best things about dancing: being pressed so close to your dance partner, that most of the time, people couldn't see what you were doing. That wasn't always the case with the waltz (in fact, that _wasn't_ the case with the waltz, most of the time, because the waltz was cold; Karin didn't find it romantic, at all. The _tango_ was romantic, but not the waltz), but Karin would make it work.

And no one was looking, anyway.

She reached up, and pulled his face down to hers. But she didn't kiss him; there was time for that later.

Right then, Karin was fairly intent on driving him up the wall.

She dragged her tongue along the shell of his ear, and murmured "Uh-huh, sure, you're fun."

* * *

Suigetsu's reaction?

He pinched her nipple through the material of her dress.

Suigetsu wasn't going to lie - he was a slut; a manwhore. He loved having sex, he loved women, he loved it all. But Karin... was completely different. So different, it wasn't even funny. He did so many things to her and she did so many things back - why were they still together, man?

It was fucking weird.

With that distraction in mind, he was surprised when she brought his face down, making his lips crash with hers. Suigetsu grunted lightly and bit her lower lip.

"Karin," he warned against her lips.

* * *

"Mhmm?" she hummed at him.

"Quit it," he snarled through his teeth.

"And if I don't?"

They were pressed very, very close together. Karin had the distinct feeling that most of the Hyuuga in the room were staring at them, scandalized (but what else was new, really - _everything_ scandalized the Hyuuga. Hadn't they ever had sex, seriously? Like, how did they _procreate_? They couldn't just pop into existence...).

"You'll see soon enough."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Shut up and you'll see. God, woman, you're driving me _crazy_."

Karin had a violent urge to giggle. She loved the way they managed to bitch each other into action. She nuzzled her nose against the spot right below his ear, peppering the skin there with tiny, open-mouthed kisses. "But I _like_ driving you crazy."

But he was being all lame and stiff and he was still speaking through his teeth - "Well, _stop_ it."

"Aw, why?" Karin practically purred.

"_Because_."

"Because _why_?" she asked, tilting her head back, and staring him in the eye.

(Most of the time, Karin had no idea why she pushed him, the way that she did. Part of her thought it was that she proving that she was actually worth something, to someone.

But then again, sometimes Karin just did things, no rhyme or reason behind them.

She didn't know.)

* * *

There was no way Suigetsu could keep control, let alone put on a mask that deceived anything different.

So he stopped their dancing and, wordlessly, led her off the dance floor and towards the door.

He continued to be quiet, not caring if Karin was speaking or protesting or not. Knowing her, she was probably cheering. Because Suigetsu _did _know her and he knew that this had been her aim all along. God, she was so manipulative. And he was so short-tempered. He didn't have the type of patience needed, to deal with manipulative teenage girls and so he always ended up falling into whatever trap she wove.

But...

Suigetsu supposed that the good outweighed the annoying.

So he supposed he'd go along with this.

And he just led her away.

* * *

Karin loved it when she got what she wanted.

And given that what she usually wanted was Suigetsu, that was quite a good thing.

(Karin had always liked winning.)

She caught up to him -he'd practically dragged her off the dance floor; not that Karin minded, really-, and slid her arm around his waist. She felt him tense, and his voice was almost incoherent, as he murmured "Wait, damnit, _wait_."

"Wait for what? You, to shove me up against a wall?" she murmured into his ear, right as they went past another couple, headed back towards the ballroom, looking ruffled. Well, well, so Karin _wasn't_ the only slut in the room.

"Perhaps."

Karin didn't stop, but kept moving. "Then get _on_ with it, cowboy," she told him over her shoulder.

It was very quiet for a minute.

"You're gonna regret that, Toots."

Karin smirked, kicked her heels off, bent to grab them, then straightened up, to look him straight in the eyes.

"That's nice-," and then she paused, and let another wicked smirk play on her lips, "-but you're going to have to catch me, first."

And then she was off, down the hall, faster then she thought possible.

* * *

Suigetsu stared at where Karin had once stood, blinking a couple of times as he tried to process what just happened. His eyes slowly rose up to stare at Karin's retreating form, face still blank as ever.

Had he ever mentioned he hated playing games when it came to sex? It was either you give it to him, or you don't.

But you don't fucking dangle it in the air in front of his face, and then make him _work_ for it.

Growling, Suigetsu took off after her; his longer legs and ability to run fast (stupid killer football practices paid off someway) making the gap between them lessen and lessen by the millisecond. His eyes narrowed as strands of his silver-white hair whipped his face, but they never really unglued themselves from Karin's body.

She was leading him out of the hotel and towards the parking lot - - to his car, no doubt.

Not that Suigetsu had a problem with that. He could just... Yeah.

Speeding up, it took him but a second more to catch her, arms snaking around her waist from behind and effectively cutting her game short. He smirked, burying his nose into her crimson-red hair. With her still in his harms he took the necessary steps he needed to take to get to his car.

"So I caught you - what's my prize?"

"What do you want?" She sounded like the total teasing vixen she was. Suigetsu was going to go nuts. Or, more so than he already had.

Chuckling lowly, he pressed her against his car - - sandwiching her in between his body and the door. "I'm sure you can think of something."

"I don't feel very creative, right now. I could tie myself up with a ribbon... but that might take too long."

"Fine, we'll do what _I _say." Suigetsu growled and merely smashed his lips with hers.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Ino walked into the Hall with a bang.

Everyone that was near the entrance stopped and stared, possibly gawked, and one or two drooled. Ino was used to this, though - just not from people like the _Hyuugas_. So she just smiled lightly and flipped some of her blond curls over her shoulder and stepped right on in.

Ino was in love with herself at the moment, as conceited as that sounded. Everyone knew purple was definitely her color - add it up with black polka-dots, a tight bodice, a puffy (in a cute way) skirt and she was in paradise. She sighed and looked around the place for any sign of her friends.

But the only person she caught was Hinata and... As much as Ino loved Hinata, she refused to be alone with her when she was so... stressed out.

Ino'd like to _live_, thanks.

So instead she went over to the refreshments table and filled herself a cup of punch. She felt like she was at a school dance and she _really _wanted to dance. Like, really.

Spinning around, she stared at the Hyuugas doing their own version of mingling - stiff backs and cold eyes as they spoke to one another. The hall was pretty big and the _dance floor_, oh, god, she _really _wanted to dance. Where was Karin, or, like, someone she could dance with?

Seriously.

Taking a sip of her drink, she smiled at people that turned and acknowledged her presence. God, why was there no one _here_?

* * *

Ino, Kiba thought, really was going to be the death of him.

She was standing in the middle of the room, blonde and beautiful, a wraith in the dim light.

Kiba grinned, a little drunk, hands stuffed into the pockets of his slacks, a grin on his lips.

That girl.

So ridiculous.

She was facing away from him. He crossed the floor, slipped his arms around her waist. "Hey, kiddo," he said.

* * *

Ino's insides melted into hot lava.

A smile etched itself on her glossy lips as she whirled around in his grip. She looked up at him, bright blue eyes meeting his dark ones; oh, he was so pretty, she could just eat him! She wrapped her unoccupied arm around his neck and tucked her face in his neck, smile still on her lips.

"Kiba," she whispered, happily.

She pulled away, just enough to look at his attire; her smile turned devilish. "My, don't_ you _look handsome."

"I promised a pretty girl I'd match."

Ino giggled and latched herself to his side. Gah! Kiba made her flail and feel all the more happier than she normally did; it was as if she had turned into Super Ino or something because, honestly, her heart was practically carving a whole in her chest from how hard it was ramming against it.

"Let's dance!"

* * *

It was such a simple request.

Kiba's fingers stayed curled around Ino's waist.

She wanted to dance.

And dance, they would.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**don't make fun of those less fortunate, it makes you an asshole. please leave a review, we love to hear from you! :)**


	44. how to have a happy ending

this is it, guys! last chapter! thank you all for sticking around for so long. :)  
**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to all of you, for chilling with us for so long - THANK YOU.

**Sara thinks that**: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. that is all. TRIBAL DANCE TIMEEEE, BITCHESSS. /tribal dances  
**les muses**: dude... just... in the words of Sara - FWUAH!  
**sonya spreads her fingers outward**: poof! what are you guys tribal dancing about now? thank you for growing with us, y'all. :)

* * *

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* * *

Hinata blew the air in her body out.

The Hyuuga banquet had been mostly a success. Sure, there had been a few, er, _minor_ scuffles, and the beginnings of a scandal or two, and a single physical fight, but, on the whole, it had gone smoothly. Certainly, this one had been _much_ better then the previous one, because, well, the _previous_ one...

Yeah, no one spoke about that banquet for a reason.

Anyway.

Hinata, standing outside her house on her front porch, exhaled. Her breath came out in a cloud of opaque smoke, white and wispy in the dark night air.

Three days until her birthday.

Three days.

She sighed.

Ugh.

She was getting _old_.

That was _so_ uncool.

* * *

Naruto was panicking.

Like, quite literally panicking.

He was pacing Sasuke's room, arms flying up at random intervals. He was so, so, so, so nervous. And, like, really. He didn't have a clue! Not a damn clue! Not one at all! God! He was a moron. Okay. Okay. Okay. He stopped his pacing and stared at his friends (minus Neji; he wondered where in the world _he _went). Sasuke was sprawled on his bed, playing video games with Kiba while Suigetsu lounged on the desk chair, using Sasuke's laptop.

"Guys," Naruto almost yelled. "I'm _freaking out_!"

"What do you want, retard?" Kiba drawled, bored.

Sasuke sighed, his eyes never breaking away from the screen, "Dobe, shut the fuck up."

"Dude," Suigetsu said, "You're such a chick right now, man."

Naruto wanted to kill all three of them.

Seriously - he was seriously having an episode right now, at the point of having a heart attack and these idiots _were not helping_!

"_Guys_!" He glared as hard as he could; hey, being friends with Sasuke had to help, right? "Hinata-chan's birthday's coming! I don't know what to give her!"

* * *

Kiba stared.

Seriously? _Seriously_?

"Is that what you're bitching about? Your little girlfriend's birthday? I don't know, man. You could probably get her a whip. I'm sure she'd appreciate the literal interpretation of the fact that you're her bitch," Kiba replied, blankly.

No.

_Seriously_.

Sasuke, next to him, made a noise that was something between a snort and a chuckle - usually a good sign, or at least a sign that he approved of whatever it was that was being said around him.

Suigetsu, lounging on the couch, looked like he was about thirty seconds away from rolling around laughing at the highly offended look on Naruto's face. "Dude! Kinky. D'you think little Tinkerbell would be like that?"

Naruto went from _offended_ to _horrified_, in two point zero milliseconds. He screeched "YOU ARE A BITCH. WHY DON'T YOU GO CHASE A GARBAGE TRUCK OR SOMETHING AND DIE. SERIOUSLY, I NEED HELP!"

Kiba just shrugged, eyes never leaving the game. "I dunno, man. My suggestion stands. Get her a whip. Or... I dunno. Jewelry, or some shit? Chicks tend to dig sparkly things. They're like magpies, like that, y'know?"

* * *

Naruto could not believe these idiots.

_How _was he _friends _with them? Sometimes, he wished he could strangle them; actually, killing them all slowly and painfully would be the best thing Naruto could ever do. But he shan't, because he needed their help, right now. Then, he'd dispose of them.

"Jewelry? Seriously? That's so tacky."

Kiba groaned and rolled his eyes, his concentration still on the screen. "Then get her a whip. Maybe it'll finally get rid of your balls."

Sasuke actually laughed, then. Not a snicker or a snort, but a full out laugh. Because that shit was really hilarious. And Suigetsu? Suigetsu was almost choking for air from how hard he was laughing.

Naruto snarled and stopped himself from beating the Mutt to a bloody pulp.

"Dude," Suigetsu finally said, when he managed to control himself. "Just get her a, like, teddy bear or somethin'. Don't chicks dig that?"

"Or," Sasuke finally said, clearing his throat. "You could just fuck her. What do they call it - birthday sex, or whatever."

Naruto was about to have a heart attack.

* * *

Kiba snorted. "Dude, you're lucky Neji's not here. He'd kick your ass."

"Yeah, well, _Neji's not here_! He's too busy banging his psychotic girlfriend. So, how about you all actually _help_ me?"

"I dunno, man. What does she like?"

"She's artsy, man."

Part of Kiba—the part that wasn't concentrated on Call Of Duty—started laughing. All he managed to say, however, was the oh-so-eloquent "Uhhhhhhh…"

"Get her Da Vinci's number," Suigetsu shouted.

Naruto's eye was twitching. "GUYS, YOU ALL SUCK BALLS AND—"

"How about," Sasuke said, pausing the game for a split second as he threw a sharp-hard object at Naruto's head, "You ask her, oh, I don't know, _friends_. Or your _mom_. Shut up and let me concentrate, – idiot."

Kiba was pretty sure that something like _pipsqueak_ was supposed to go there, and then Sasuke remembered that Naruto was two inches taller then he was; it would explain the annoyed twist to Sasuke's mouth.

And was kind of funny of its own, actually.

Suigetsu, clearly thinking really hard about this, snapped his fingers and looked up at his friends with bright eyes. "Whipped cream! Get her whipped-cream. Kinky stuff, man."

Kiba snorted. "Shut the fuck up, 'Getsu, just 'coz your bitch is a slut, doesn't mean Naruto's is."

Suigetsu looked highly offended. "Hey, hey. Only I can call Karin a slut. Back off, Mutt. You're just jealous 'coz you got the crazy blond chick."

Kiba just grinned, still concentrated on the screen. "Crazy blonde chick or not, she's a good kid."

"You just sounded like a pedophile, I hope you know," Suigetsu grumbled.

"Dude, you thought of that, not me."

"Fuck—"

Sasuke sighed. "You're both idiots. Shut the fuck up, already."

"You're just pissed 'coz you're losing."

"My ass, I'm losing. Go grow some balls, Mutt."

"Your ass? No thanks, I like to keep my dick clean," Kiba said.

"You're doing an awful job at that, sorry. But what would you expect from a dog like you?"

"Dude, tell that to Ino, she's the only one I've fucked recently."

"OH DUDE," Suigetsu hollered, attention grasped. "Really?"

"I don't cheat, 'Getsu, we've been through this. Douchebag, stop smirking like that, or I'll blow your head apart."

"Mutt, go die or something."

"Of course, of course. 'Coz then your mom and sister would chop off your balls," Suigetsu burst into a fit of laughter.

"Did I ever say they wouldn't?" Kiba asked, rhetoric.

"Again. Can you all just kindly shut the fuck up?"

"Whatever, dude. You're still losing."

"I'm not _losing_, you idiotic, hairy buffoon."

"Nice insult. And _sure,_ you're not losing."

"For fuck's sake, Mutt, take that cockiness of yours and shove it up your _ass_—Ha!" Sasuke smirked, as a bullet went through Kiba's player's head.

"Mother—_fuck_ you, man."

"Sorry, I don't really swing your way, bro."

Suigetsu grinned, "THAT'S NOT WHAT I HEARD."

Naruto coughed to hide his snickers.

Kiba blew Sasuke's head apart, and smirked. "Payback, asshole. _Payback_."

* * *

Sasuke was too busy twitching to really say anything to Kiba's idiocy. He glared at Suigetsu and Naruto, warningly; those two only gave him innocent grins in return. God, he'd blow their heads off if he had a gun... Was his dad home? Maybe he could use one of his...

"_Anyway_," Naruto said, coughing, lip twitching at the side as it tried to form a smile. "You guys are no help, at all, and I hate you. Believe it."

Suigetsu sighed and rolled his eyes. "Dude, why don't you just take her to a picnic or somethin'; be the total romantic sap you know you are. God."

Naruto perked up at this. "Dude," he said slowly. "That... has got to be the best idea you idiots have produced so far."

"Chyeah," Suigetsu snorted with a smirk, "'nd you guys question my smarticles."

Sasuke scoffed. "Okay, you just killed your whole intelligent moment with that one."

Naruto was out of the room before yet another round of banter between the three morons commenced.

* * *

"Did you spike his ramen, or something? He actually just took advice," Kiba said, mild.

"If I would have spiked his ramen, he'd be dead by now," Sasuke smirked.

"Dude, you talk big, but you'd never hurt that kid."

"Says the idiot that's been saying he'd kill me since the day we met."

"I might actually kill _you_," Kiba replied, still mild.

"Right, you keep telling yourself that, Mutt. You might live longer," Sasuke said.

"Dudes, are you gonna get it on at any moment? I can leave, y'know…" Suigetsu said. His eyebrow was raised.

Sasuke had totally zoned out, Kiba could tell—his mouth was hanging open, and his eyes had that glazed-over look to them. It was the look that Sasuke always got when he was wholly concentrated on something. This meant that it was completely fair game to take shots at him, while he wasn't paying attention. "Yow. 'Getsu, the douche is just being douchey."

"Riiiight. I mean, I'm alright if you two are secretly all over each other, but just keep the PDA to a minimum, 'kay?"

"He's just pissy 'coz he's not getting any from me," Kiba grinned.

It took Sasuke a full minute to realize he'd been insulted. "…Wait… Wha— Fuck you, Kiba. _Fuck_ _you_."

Kiba dropped his controller, and clutched his stomach, he was laughing so hard. He was _definitely_ not letting Sasuke live this one down.

* * *

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.

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* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar; runwithskizzers; runwaygoddess  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Hinata-chan_

Hi!

I know that you know that Hinata-chan's birthday's coming. And, c'mon, I'm a guy, so I really didn't know what the hell to get her... But now I think I do and I need your help; all of you.

Message me asap, yeah?

-Naruto

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: cherrylipssuperstar  
Subject: _About Hinata._

SO LIKE THIS IS KARIN BECAUSE SHE IS AWESOME and Sakura's here, too. She's keeps stealing my keyboard, and it's super not-cool.

You want to get something for our little darling little Hinata?

KARIN THE AWESOME (read: slutty) ONE, SAYS:  
you should totally just let her unwrap _you_. And then you'll have nothing to worry about. Of course, she might faint and, y'know, die a little inside, but _IT WOULD BE SO GREAT_.

Sakura (THE NOT-SO-AWESOME) says you should take her out for a nice dinner, and get her something nice, like paintbrushes and maybe some canvas. Because she'd like that, and she wouldn't die. And I'd have to poison you, remember? I threatened it, and I don't want to _actually_ have to follow through, because that would kind of suck, & Hinata likes you.

So. Yeah.

-Candii & Superstar

P.S. IGNORE ALL OF KARIN'S ADVICE BECAUSE SHE REALLY IS A SLUTTY HO-BAG.

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _My little Hinata._

First of all:

MY OTPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

Second of all:

Hinata likes painting and I'm positive you already know this, but I'm just refreshing your mind, okay? So yeah, she likes painting. And music. Classic music, I'm sure.

Or, or, or, or! You can _totally _let her unwrap _you_. It'd be so _amazing_. Yeah.

LET ME KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE, OMFG.

lessthanthree

Ino

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _The little thing._

Get her pepper spray.

Just so she can use it on you.

...Kidding.

Just... Uh... Cook her something or something? Idk...

Okay, just let her unwrap you, or something. I'm sure she'll faint for that but it'd be so great! You can make yourself into a sundae. Yeah! Like, you can whipped cream all over your body and she can, like, lick it off...

Anyway.

Yeah, I got nothing.

-Tenten

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar; runwithskizzers; runwaygoddess  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _...No words._

Okay, you're all too kinky for her. Seriously. How are you guys even friends with her?

Anyway.

I already know what I'm gonna do, I just need your help, and feminine - and therefore sensitive - qualities.

I'm gonna make a picnic for her; at, like, night. I mean, we can all go, since she, like, adores all of you and stuff. But I just need help with the food and the whatnots.

So... Yeah...

-Naruto

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: dancelikenooneiswatching  
Subject: _you should be used to this, by now, legit_.

Too kinky? TOO KINKY? EXCUSE ME, THERE IS NO SUCH THING.

..."Feminine qualities"? DO YOU WANT TO DIE."  
-Sakura

(Ignore her, Naruto, she's choking- she does that when someone insults her feminism. I'll bake a cake, and help with the cooking? I'm not bad- not as good as Hinata, obviously, but still, I can manage. And I have this feeling that you can't cook. Like at all. I mean, you're friends with Sui, and he can't cook to save his life, sooo...)

Ohhhhh, there needs to be snow! Where is this gonna happen? Make it happen!

-Karin (and Sakura, but she's still choking in the background. I AM NOT A SLUTTY HO-BAG, SAKURA. FAILURE.)

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: runwaygoddess  
Subject: _Love us, Naruto. Love us now._

THERE IS NEVER TOO MUCH KINK. SRSLY.

With that said, since unlike Sakura-Forehead-Haruno, whom, I know went sorta apeshit on the terms "feminine qualities", I will accept this task because its pretty and for a pretty girl and a pretty cause and its just _pretty_. So I will help!

I'll make... OH. I'll make crepes! And carrot cake, coz it's Hina's favorite and you can never have too much cake (something tells me Karin already offered that). And, I'unno, I'll make a whole load of stuff! I love cooking!

So, where exactly is this going to be?

lessthanthree

Ino

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1  
From: runwithskizzers  
Subject: _Kink for the world, obviously._

Read my subject, it says it all.

I can't cook for crap, unless its ramen, cereal or sandwiches so I am no kind of help on that subject. BUT. I can totally get the booze, srsly. Because, there will be booze, right? Of course there will, Uchiha and Hozuki and me are gonna be there, duh. So I will get the booze.

So... Yeah.

Anyway, where are we gonna do this?

-Tenten

* * *

To: dancelikenooneiswatching; cherrylipssuperstar; runwithskizzers; runwaygoddess  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Just... I'm not going to comment._

Okay, then, we got ourselves a plan. :)

It's gonna be at central park; you know, the usual park. So, yeah.

Thanks!

-Naruto

* * *

Sakura was lying on Karin's bed, somewhere between dejected and choking some more at Naruto's accidental chauvinism.

She glanced at Karin.

The redhead was grinning like a manic.

"Well now," Karin said. "We need to distract Hinata."

"You're treating this like a war council," Sakura replied, deadpan.

Karin flailed. "THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS, DUH."

"It's Hinata's birthday! How on earth is that a war council - oh, wait, what am I saying, this is you, _why_ am I even trying?"

Karin jumped up, long red hair swinging around her perfect tandem with the movement of her body, and cocked her hip. She grinned maniacally at Sakura, her glasses slipping down her nose. "C'mon, sweetie. You know you love this kind of thing. It's so _fun_!"

Sakura sighed, and pressed her face into Karin's pillows.

This was _not_ going to be fun.

* * *

.

* * *

Tenten snapped the laptop off and twirled in the desk to face the bed.

Neji was lying there, on his stomach, face stuffed into the pillow; he was shirtless and the covers covered his bottom half and his hair was kind of messy and Tenten's eyes gleamed in admiration. But, like, anything she'd like to do to him right now could wait because, like, there was a mission going on, right now.

She jumped onto the bed and sat down, criss-cross, her hand placed on Neji's exposed shoulder and she began to shake, a grin on her lips.

"Pssssst," she stage-whispered, "Neji!" She shoved some more. "Pssst, _Neji_!"

He grunted and Tenten pouted. She climbed onto his back and leaned forward, pressing her front flush against his back so that her lips hovered over his ear.

"Nejiiii," she said, voice low, "wake uppp! We have important matters to attend to! I mean, I understand if you're _tired_, but this is _important_. Wake up, please!"

* * *

Neji groaned.

He was _not_ in the mood. He was _tired_.

Damn girl didn't even let him _sleep_.

Neji rolled onto one shoulder, and looked up at her. "Tenten," he growled. "I do not have to _wake up_. That would imply that I had _slept_, at some point, and I have not."

"Nejiiii, you're _growling_ at me." She paused, to pout at him. Neji ignored it entirely. "We just need to buy booze for the picnic, that's all! But if you're being such a dick-face, then I'll just go by myself!"

"Tenten, we are _three hours_ away from Konoha. Booze can wait," he said. He wrapped an arm around her, and tugged her into a more horizontal-ish position. Better. Much better.

"Neji... You're so insatiable, really. Can we go home now, please?" She scraped her fingernails down his chest as she said it.

Neji just raised an eyebrow at her. "Not if you do _that_."

She blinked innocently at him. It turned into a smirk, and she ran her nails down his skin a second time.

"If you want to walk later, you will cease and desist."

Stiff, in more ways then one.

Tenten tilted her head. "Big words. Does not compute." She kissed his nose.

"Does _this_ compute?" he murmured, and shoved her back against the bed. He loomed over her, hair obscuring the rest of the outside world.

"…Perhaps… I'm not sure, yet."

"Booze, later. Coitus, _now_," Neji almost snarled, lips at her throat.

"Coi—what?"

Neji bit at her pulse point hard enough to leave a mark. "Sex, Tenten. _Sex_."

* * *

.

* * *

Ino was excited. Like, legit, really, really, really excited.

If she exploded, nothing but glitter would come out. Because Ino was the kind of girl that was born with glitter in her veins. Blood? Ew, what was that?

She giggled her way down the stairs, and flailed into the kitchen. Her Daddy was there, bent over the island - probably fixing himself a triple-decker-sandwich. Seriously, men were so insatiable when it came to food! She just fed him over twenty minutes ago!

Regardless, she flailed on over to him, grabbed his big hands in her small ones and began to lead him in a dance - a waltz. She was smiling and singing and humming and laughing and she loved how her Daddy would just let her do as she pleased.

Of course, she didn't miss the questioning look and the roll of his bright blue eyes.

Oh! She _loved _her Daddy!

He was her leading boy for _forever_. No matter what!

"Well, " he said, as she stopped their dancing and tackled him into a huge hug, "you look better than ever."

Ino smiled, nose taking in her Daddy's cinnamon scent and closed her eyes. "Mhmm!"

"And that is because...?"

"Because everything is so _pretty_!"

Inoichi blinked down at his daughter. Seriously, he ought to be used to this.

"Okay, Daddy! You'll be my helper!"

"...What?"

"We're going to practice baking a red velvet cake!"

Inoichi blinked, again. "...What?"

Ino whipped around and stared at him. "I've baked a lot of cakes but I've never baked a red velvet cake! So I'm going to practice so I can get it right for Hinata's birthday!"

"Hina—oh... But I can't—"

"_Wrong answer, mister_! If you won't help me, I'll just look for a pretty boy that will!"

The look that crossed Inoichi's face was one that Ino was never going to forget and will forever laugh at. She dignified this as a yes, of course, and off they went scurrying around the kitchen. Tomorrow, she would get Kiba to help her so help her god if he didn't.

Ugh, pretty men these days.

* * *

.

* * *

Where _was_ everyone?

Two days to her birthday.

Hinata wrinkled her nose.

She was going to be so _old_.

And there was no one _around_! No one had responded to her texts, or her emails, or _anything_! It was like the world was ignoring her, and the irony was not lost on her; when she wanted to be alone, no one would give her that chance, and when she wanted, _needed_, someone to talk to, it was like they'd vanished into thin air.

* * *

**From: Hinata  
To: Naruto-kun  
Come visit me, please? I don't want to be alone**.

* * *

Hinata sighed, and fell back against 400-count cream sheets, and stretched her arms high in the air, reaching for the ceiling. She dropped her cheek to the pillow, and looked outside. It was snowing out there. The sky was pale grey and went on forever, empty of features.

There was something free about it.

Like a blank canvas.

Something sparked inside of Hinata.

_Raise your glass - we will never be anything but loud and nitty-gritty_.

She gathered up her painting supplies. A standing easel, a canvas or eight, her bag of acrylic paints, a large white smock, a bucket of water. It took three trips, but she got them all outside eventually. She set the easel up, set the first blank-white canvas on it, shivered violently, pulled the smock on, put her hair up in a bun, strands escaping all over the place.

And she began.

_Wrong in all the right ways_.

Within three minutes, she was laughing, splattering paint every which way. She squeezed tubes of paint onto her hands, red-blue-yellow, primary and bright, and smeared it all over the canvas. It was a bright happy blend, with paint marks all over her skin, and Hinata laughed like a two-year-old.

She collapsed on the ground, and laughed herself to hiccups.

* * *

Naruto stared at the text and bit at his lip, hard.

Oh, he wanted to reply, so badly.

Oh, he wanted to visit, so badly.

But he wouldn't do either. Coz then his happiness and hyperness might cause him to spill everything out and then everything would go to waste and he just couldn't do that because he was working _hard _on aiming to get _the perfect _look on her face when he brings her to the park and she sees everything and everyone.

And he didn't want to ruin it.

So he didn't reply.

And he didn't visit.

And _god _was that like sweet, sweet torture.

* * *

**From: Hinata  
To: Naruto-kun  
I miss you.**

* * *

And he didn't reply.

* * *

**From: Hinata  
To: Naruto-kun  
I'm being crazy and clingy and I'm sorry. But I just...**

* * *

No reply.

* * *

**From: Hinata  
To: Naruto-kun  
Don't you like me anymore?**

* * *

And he still didn't reply.

Hinata's paint-thick fingers left marks all over her phone.

She chucked it away, and lay on the ground, and stared at the blank-canvas sky, still smiling.

* * *

Naruto stared at the screen of his phone and blinked, brow furrowed.

How on earth could she think he didn't like her anymore? He was nuts about her!

He sat on his couch and raised a brow, answering, noncommittally, when his mother said something to him from the kitchen.

Naruto shook his head and managed a small, simple text.

* * *

**From: Naruto-kun  
To: Hinata  
I don't like you. I love you. I've... been a little busy. You want to come over for dinner?**

* * *

Running through situations in her head had always been one of Hinata's favourite pastimes.

She lay there, and ran through possible conversations.

But they all shared a single feature.

They all ended with her kissing him, covered in paint and snow and imperfection, and it was exactly what Hinata wanted.

Stupid world.

* * *

Naruto blinked at the lack of response.

He shook his head, completely at a loss for words, at a loss of thought, and dumped the phone next to him, getting up and going to the kitchen to help his mother with dinner.

Sometimes, he didn't understand girls.

Sometimes, he... Sometimes, he just didn't know.

God.

* * *

"Aren't you cold?"

Hinata blinked, and pushed herself off the ground, into a sitting-ish position, at the sound of her younger sister's voice. Hanabi was standing in front of her, Konohamaru at her side, one eyebrow raised. "No, I'm-"

"You _look_ cold," Hanabi said decisively. "Kono, could you help my sister bring everything inside?"

Hinata's younger sister paused, and batted her eyelashes innocently at the boy. "_Please_?"

The boy grumbled, muttered something that sounded like "Fine", and gathered up Hinata's widespread painting supplies.

Hanabi wrinkled her nose, and picked Hinata's paint-encrusted phone up. "Your boyfriend texted you. Apparently he doesn't like you, he loves you. And you're supposed to go over there for supper, or something."

Hinata blinked.

She stood up, threw her paint-covered arms around Hanabi (Hanabi squawked irritably, and cringed away from the paint), kissed her cheek, and dashed into the house.

Naruto was going to have an armful of crazy, paint-covered girl, whether he liked it or not.

* * *

"No one's coming over," Kushina asked, mahogany eyes staring at her son.

Naruto shrugged, not completely in the mood to talk, really. He was still kinda relishing on how confusing girls were and how they wanted you to reply to their texts, but didn't dignify the response with a response of their own. Like, seriously. Its like karma, you know? You get what you give.

Ugh.

"Naru-chan?"

He looked up at his mom, hands pausing from preparing the salad. His mother liked cooking big dinners, even if it was usually just the two of them. Mostly, because it reminded her of times when his dad was still around; the other half revolved around one of the Idiots showing up randomly. Mostly Suigetsu, because, like, seriously, this was his second home and stuff.

"Yeah," he asked.

Kushina gave him a look. "Are you okay?"

Naruto nodded, slowly. "Yup. Just hungry. Maaaaa, I can't think on an empty stomach!"

She shook her head and smiled. "I see Sui-chan is rubbing off on you."

Naruto's nose crinkled. "EW, MA', DON'T SAY THAT."

He grinned, staring as his mother wore an identical smile on her lips. God, he was such a mama's boy.

* * *

There was drying paint in her hair.

That was okay.

Hinata ran up Naruto's driveway. She was freezing. It would be worth it.

She stood outside the door, rang the doorbell, shivering.

_Please let me in_?

* * *

Naruto and Kushina shared a look before Naruto left the big salad bowl and walked towards the front door.

He opened and next thing he knew he was tackled by a blur of inky-blue-black and colors... He stumbled back a bit, his arms instinctively going around her. He automatically knew who she was just by her scent. He grinned and squeezed his hold on her, nose burying in her hair.

"Hello to you, too," he murmured softly.

"I - I'm sorry. My phone is... kind of... well." She pulled away, a bit and fished her phone out of her pocket and showed it to him.

Naruto laughed, lightly, and pulled her in, taking the phone out of her grip.

"S'okay." He led her down the foyer and towards the kitchen. "No biggie, really. You're in time for dinner!"

As he said this, they entered the kitchen. Kushina whipped around and gave them both a very big grin. "Hello there, Hina-chan!"

* * *

Hinata smiled around at the familiar room.

It felt like home.

She held Naruto's hand under the table, and didn't think about getting old for the rest of the night.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Sakura tossed her hair out of her face.

Dear _god_, Karin was a slave-driver.

She packed the last of the picnic lunch into the fifth stupid basket (Yogi The Bear would have a goddamn _field_ day), and leaned back against the counter-top in Karin's New House (read: her boyfriend's best friend's kitchen. Wait, what, hold on).

And Karin wasn't even _around_.

Actually, Sakura _really_ didn't want to know where Karin was.

The prospect was actually a little bit frightful.

She looked up, and smiled at Sasuke.

"Don't look so glum!" she sang at him.

* * *

Sasuke stared at Sakura, blankly.

Suigetsu... was going to pay. Oh, he was going to _pay_. That fucker... leaving him hear like a fucking slave, doing all the work, along with Sakura (who, by the way, was looking teeeeempting) while he went and fucked his girlfriend. Fuck, he hated the idiot. He should kill him, or something. Seriously, it's a no brainer - just steal one of his dad's guns and do the job.

"M'not glum," he muttered, almost haughtily. Actually, if it had been any other person, it would have been taken as a pout, but he was Sasuke and Sasuke doesn't pout.

She walked over, and looped her arms around his neck. Nuzzled her nose into the crook of his neck, smiled against his skin, and murmured "_I_ think you're being glum, and it's silly. This is how we work, Karin and I; she sluts around, and I do all the hard work."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and leaned his head back a bit. "_I _think you're crazy for thinking I'm glum. Or whatever. Are we done, yet? I want to get out of here."

"And go where, pray tell?"

He smirked and looked down at her. "My house. Preferably my room."

Sakura pulled back and stared at him, deadpanned. "If we do that, I won't escape your evil clutches for _days._ And then I'd miss Hinata's party, and that would be sad."

"No you won't. The Dobe'd kill me if I didn't show up. I don't want to _kill_ the guy for attempted murder... So we'd end up going, anyway, unfortunately."

"How is it unfortunate, hmm?" Sakura looked expectant, almost.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, again. "Coz I have to be around your crazy friends, and my idiot ones and in the _snow_. At_ night_."

"But there'll be food. And meeeeeeeee."

"I could easily have that at my house," he said, blandly.

"I have to be at Hinata's party, Sasuke! Do you know how long we've been _waiting_ for this?"

Sasuke had the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. God, this girl drove him up the wall. "Sakura. Would you _listen _to me, for once? I said we _are _going."

"Sasuke, this is you. You have no sense of time when we're - doing things." She kinda flushed at the last part and Sasuke would've smirked had he not been busy hiding his twitch.

He sighed and almost slumped his shoulders. "Sakura. Stop breaking my balls, will you? I said we're _going_. And we _will_. Let's go."

"And what if I say _no_?" She was giving him The Evil Eye. She tended to use that one when she was studying. Fuck, there was no escaping that thing.

Sasuke dipped his head down and buried his face in her neck, nipping and other such things where he knew she was most sensitive at. "Then I'll have to convince you."

* * *

Sakura _squeaked_. "You-! Stop that, you! Stop being so - so - _so persuasive_! Hands off! Stop it, I say!"

Sasuke grumbled. "Sa-ku-raaa. Les'_go_."

Like she was going to let that happen.

His hands were everywhere. It was making it very hard to think. "Hands _off_, Sasuke! I will _not_ let you seduce me!"

And she really thought that that was going to work.

His hands were still everywhere.

Everywhere being specifically her bottom. "Hn? Seducing?"

Sakura's voice was rather high-pitched, right then. "Yes, seducing! Get your hand off my ass!"

He was _smirking_.

That was never a good thing.

"Really, now?" he asked, and he squeezed.

Sakura _shrieked_, and valiantly tried to break his face. "HANDS OFF, OR I WILL VIOLATE YOU WITH KARIN'S FAVOURITE METAL SPOON."

...As soon as she'd finished saying it, she regretted it.

Deeply, deeply regretted it.

Sasuke blinked at her. "..._What_?"

Sakura did something that was akin to panicking. "I - DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT."

"…Sakura… Just… _What_…"

"SHHHHHHHHHHH."

"...You want me to be quiet when you just threatened to violate me. With a spoon. A _metal_ spoon. Really."

"_Yes_! I - don't know what I was trying to say!" Sakura looked flustered, and was starting to pout.

"...I don't think I want to know," was all he said, and pulled away.

"Oh, Sa-su-ke, don't be sil-ly! You know I didn't mean it like that!" Sakura said, and laced her fingers through his.

"Sakura, don't put your hands on me. If you want hands off, then so do I."

"I just - you _know_ that I -" she stopped, pushed pink hair out of her face, and huffed. Sometimes, she really had trouble getting the words out—this was one of those times. She wanted to explain that she just had—_trouble_—resisting him. _Especially_ when he was like _this_.

"You're making my life hard, again," she said.

"Again? _How_ am I making your life hard _now_?"

And then Karin walked in.

She wasn't wearing very much clothing.

Oh dear.

She blinked at the both of them through sleepy eyes, and ruffled hair. And _not very much clothing_. "What are you two bitching at each other about, now?"

Sasuke glared.

And then Suigetsu walked in.

And he wasn't wearing very much, either.

Sakura _seriously_ questioned her taste in friends.

"Dude, you can borrow my room if you want," Suigetsu said.

Sakura stared, totally flabbergasted.

Karin raised an eyebrow. "…Sui, put some pants on."

Suigetsu looked pained. "...Whyyyy. You're not wearin' nothin'!"

"Because your penis belongs to me. That's why."

Sakura was very, very tempted to find the nearest hardest surface, and slam her head against it, until she no longer had any brain cells to contemplate just how slutty her best friend actually was.

Sasuke, standing next to her, blinked and walked towards the door. All he said was "I'm out of here."

Sakura didn't move. "Am I allowed to come, or are you still mad?"

Sasuke looked like he was about to glare.

From across the room, Karin let out a sing-song of "If you're still mad, we'll make use of her!"

Sakura looked horrified. Sasuke whipped around, tugged Sakura in front of him, and glared furiously at the still grinning red-head. "Hands off."

(Suigetsu, in the corner, muttered "Damn it, I was digging the threesome…"

Karin promptly smacked him over the head.)

Sakura allowed herself to be led outside. "Thank you. For saving me. From—well. _Them_."

* * *

"Hn."

Its not that he was mad. Because, really, he wasn't. It's just that sometimes he didn't understand this girl, and having idiots for friends kinda irked him. God, Sasuke needed some alcohol. Or sleep. Preferably the former, first. Or... Ah, whatever. He'd take both.

He stopped in front of the car, unlocking the doors and sliding onto the driver's seat just as Sakura slowly slid into the passenger's seat.

"Hn? What's _that _supposed to mean," she asked, eyebrow raised.

Sasuke shrugged a shoulder, starting the ignition and gunning the motor to get it to roar as it heated up. "It means what it means."

"Which is...?"

"'Hn'." He smirked, reversing out of Suigetsu's driveway and making his way to his house.

Sakura shifted around, to face him. "So, its just, like, nothing?"

"If you want it to be."

"Well," she said slowly, contemplatively, "what if I want it to be something else?"

Sasuke spared her a glance before facing the front again and shrugged. "Then its meaning will change to befit what you want it to be."

"But it's just a nothing, you know? A filler. Why even say it at all?"

He ran a hand through his hair and rolled his eyes. "Sakura."

"Well, its true!" She waved a hand in the air and Sasuke fought a snort.

"Be quiet."

She opened her mouth, closed it, opened it, and closed it. And didn't say anything at all.

Sasuke kinda smirked.

* * *

Sakura said nothing.

Fine, if he didn't want her to talk, she wouldn't talk.

He could stick it; she wasn't going to talk at all.

She tossed her hair over her shoulder, and faced away from him. She looked out the window, and didn't look back.

_So there_.

* * *

Ah, _this _game, again.

Seriously, they played this at least once a week. Sasuke had gotten used to it; of course, it didn't mean he _liked _it, because he didn't. Sometimes Sakura was a stubborn little... Ajdeke. Sasuke shook his head and just continued to drive, picking up speed just to irk her.

With that, they arrived to his house in a matter of minutes and he watched her get out of the car, slam the door shut and stomp up his porch. He took his time, walking slowly and picking out the key to the front door from his key-shit-thing (he so didn't give a crap about names).

Once he opened the door, she stomped right on in, said a quick hello to his mother and ran up to his room.

Sasuke turned to stare at his mother, sitting on the couch. No doubt watching her soaps. No one was going to move that woman from her seat all day. Sasuke shook his head.

"What did you do _this _time, Sasu-chan?"

Sasuke blinked. "...Nothing."

And he quickly went up to his room.

* * *

Sakura wasn't even going to sit on his bed.

NoJustNo.

Like one run-on sentence: nojustnojustnojust_no_.

She sat on the carpeted floor, crossed her legs, and didn't say anything.

She was _not_ going to cave, she was _not_.

* * *

When he walked in, he almost laughed at the sight of her sitting on the ground, in the middle of the room.

He dropped his keys on the nearest table and shed his jacket and scarf off before he made his way towards her. He stood in front of her for a minute, just staring down at her with minor amusement. When he was positive the amusement was out of sight, he squatted down in front of her and stared at her face.

"You hungry?"

She remained silent and glared at him, right in the eye.

Sasuke tilted his head, bangs falling in front of his eyes and he raised a brow. "Thirsty?"

She still didn't answer.

Both his eyebrows went up, at this and he stared at her, blankly before he smirked. "Sa-ku-ra."

No reply.

"Do you _really _want to do this on your friend's birthday?"

Still no reply.

Sasuke stared at her, his eyes meeting her glare. "So, you want to not talk to me all day, and all night. Ignore me, at the party and cause tension to rise and therefore disrupt your friend's happiness?"

And yet there was _still _no reply from her.

He let out a sigh. "Okay," he said, leaning back and taking a seat in front of her. His knees were bent, arms resting on them and he just continued to stare at her. "Tsk, didn't know this side of you, Haruno. Poor little Hinata; imagine that little frown on her face when she picks up on your vibes. She'll pull you aside, then, and ask you what's wrong. And then you'll put on a fake little smile and deny anything." He shook his head. "But since she's your friend, she won't believe you, regardless of letting it go. Then it'll torment her all night and she won't enjoy the party."

Sakura continued to say not a word, and Sasuke almost wanted to laugh.

He gave a noncommittal shrug and just continued to stare at her.

* * *

There was only one thought that went through Sakura's head:

_DO NOT PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. EVEN IF HE DESERVES IT_.

Because. Well. He kind of did.

He was doing that thing where he pulled at her heartstrings.

And she would not -_would not_- cave. SHE WOULD NOT.

* * *

**From: Sak-ura  
To: JERKFACE  
i'm not going to ignore everyone else - just you. 'coz you're MEAN.**

**From: JERKFACE  
To: Sak-ura  
Am not. I'm nice. Stop ignoring me.**

* * *

Only Sakura would send him a text when he's sitting right in front of her, seriously.

This girl... is so damn _weird_. And sometimes terribly _obnoxious_.

...And hot.

Sasuke blinked at that and raised an eyebrow at himself. Wow. Just... Wow.

* * *

Uh-oh.

She could feel him eyeing her. He had that hungry-predatory look on.

That was _not healthy_.

* * *

**From: Sak-ura  
To: JERKFACE  
NO. YOU'RE NOT NICE. YOU'RE MEAN. and i dare you to _try_.**

**From: JERKFACE  
To: Sak-ura  
Am not. I'm _nice_. Try what, pray tell? I'm not trying anything.**

* * *

Seriously.

This girl. Broke his balls.

Every single day.

He was going to die, soon.

* * *

HE WAS MEAN.

REALLY, REALLY MEAN.

Sakura glared furiously at a defenseless spot on the floor.

* * *

**From: Sak-ura  
To: JERKFACE  
try... whatever it is you're thinking. i know you're thinking _something_. you're _always thinking something_. and you're mean to me. and it's not very nice.**

**From: JERKFACE  
To: Sak-ura  
Ily.  
**

**From: Sak-ura  
To: JERKFACE  
THAT. I MEAN THAT. NONE OF THAT.**

**From: JERKFACE  
To: Sak-ura  
So, I can't say I love you?**

**From: Sak-ura  
To: JERKFACE  
no. because then it makes me want to hug you, and THAT IS NOT ALLOWED. AT ALL.**

**From: JERKFACE  
To: Sak-ura  
Fine, I'll do it, then.**

* * *

Sasuke set his phone aside and leaned forwards, pulling Sakura by the arm until she crashed onto his chest. He heard her squeak in surprise, even as he buried his nose in her neck and tightened his hold.

"So stubborn," he said.

Sakura glared at Sasuke's shirt. "I'm ignoring you, I swear, I am."

He chuckled and lifted them both off the ground; he picked Sakura up and threw her - gently - on his bed. "Okay." He tilted his head and stared at her as she propped herself up with her shoulders. "We have some time before we have to go... What do you want to do?"

"I _want_ to ignore you. Which is what I'm doing."

Sasuke stared at her, deadpan. "And yet you're speaking to me."

"Ignoringggggg," she sang.

"Sa-ku-ra," Sasuke said through his teeth. "Quit it."

He climbed onto the bed and moved until he was hovering above her, supporting his weight with his arms. Sasuke smirked down at her and just... watched. Because, really. She was entertaining, and she didn't even know it.

* * *

Sakura grumbled.

She really didn't have the time for this.

...

Well.

Okay.

She _did_.

BUT THAT WASN'T THE POINT, OKAY.

"The point is that you are a meanie, and I shouldn't like you, but I do and it's not very explicable, did you know that? The point is that we're kind of like Misfit Toys. The point is that - oh, god, I'm rambling, again, and it's _all your fault_. You suck, Sasuke. You really, really suck."

No, seriously.

* * *

"Sakura, you _always _ramble."

"...Shut up, Sasu-cakes."

Sasuke blinked and glared, instantly. "Okay, _don't _call me that."

God, how he hated that damn thing - that... it wasn't even a damn name!

"Your mom calls you that! Why can't _I_?"

Sasuke glowered and moved to lean on his side, next to her. "She does _not_. She calls me _Sasu-chan_; there's a _difference._"

Oh god. He was such a fucking mama's boy. He glowered some more, death glare on the headboard of his bed. Sometimes, Sakura... Just... Aurgh.

"_How_?"

"Sakura, why do you question _everything_?" He ran a hand through his hair, agitatedly.

"Because _everything_ is interesting. And, fine, your mom can call you Sasu-chan; I'll call you Sasu-cakes when I'm mad at you." Her tone was matter-of-fact and, oh god, she drove him up the wall. He should jump out the window or something.

Sasuke sighed and laid on his back. Che.

* * *

Sakura grinned at the ceiling.

The score for the day, as it stood:

Sakura - 1.  
Sasuke - _zip_.

This was far more fun then she'd previously thought.

She stretched out on his bed. "I missed this," she said, soft.

* * *

He blinked and looked at her from the corner of his eyes. "Missed what?"

Sasuke felt her shrug, her hands moving, slightly, before she just froze in place. "This. Your bedroom. Rambling at someone who doesn't care. I don't know."

What was he supposed to say to that? He blinked and stared at his ceiling and let a soft, slow sigh pass his lips. He... really didn't know what to say to that. Really. He... liked her rambles, sorta. They made noise; caused the silence to evaporate and stop trying to devour everything. Sometimes they annoyed him; like when she's talking about biology.

Sasuke hated biology.

But... He... Was he supposed to tell her that?

He didn't want to... Sorta.

So Sasuke didn't say anything; because sometimes silence spoke louder than words. Sometimes, silence conveyed things better than anything. So he stayed quiet, and moved, slightly, feeling her arm against his.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

One day. _One day_.

She would be eighteen in _one day_.

So much for Seventeen Forever.

Hinata had a minor panic attack, and passed out.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

It was the day.

It was December 21st and Naruto felt it pass by like a hurricane. Before he knew it, it was a quarter to seven. Now, he wanted the picnic-party to be at night because, well, he liked night-time. And it fit, sort of. He didn't know how, but it did.

Naruto stashed everything he could possibly need into his car, ran back into the house to grab one last thing (as well to check if he had changed to the clothes that were needed... and his hair - ah, c'mon, give him a break, it was his girlfriend's birthday) and called a goodbye to his mother and he was out.

The ride to the park was never long, regardless of where you were in Konoha. Central park was, well, at the heart of Konoha - dead center. It took him about exactly eleven minutes to get there, find parking (which was easy, since no one was really in the park at this hour; another bonus point for making it a night-time picnic) and walking over to the exact area.

When he got there, he was positively glad to see Suigetsu and Karin already there.

"Okay," he said, placing everything he brought (which was a miracle he could bring all by himself, seriously, the gruesome football training and muscle building paid off) on one of the many tables, "I'm here."

Suigetsu huffed, sitting on a bench and glaring, arms crossed in front of his chest. "I hate all of you."

Naruto blinked. "What?"

"Oh, be quiet, you'll get to eat all you want when she gets here," Karin said, her back turned as she arranged every container and such on one of the tables.

Ah, food. Of course.

Naruto shook his head and grabbed some of the lights his mother had said would work perfectly to help light up the place, along with the city-lamps. "How about," he said to Suigetsu, "You stop being a big baby and help me with these?"

Suigetsu stared at him, blankly.

"I'll tell my mom," Naruto said, like a child would to his sibling.

Suigetsu was quick to stand up and help.

* * *

Karin cocked a jean-clad hip.

Seriously, these two were useless. Actually, that wasn't true- Naruto was _trying_ to help, at the very least.

However.

Suigetsu was just... being Suigetsu, and therefore useless by default, unless there was sex or food on the line. Karin rolled dark red eyes. She was going to have to beat that out of him, somehow (er. Somehow that did not involve sex in any way, shape, or form), and glanced around the park clearing.

It really was lovely, right then. All the trees dripped with bright little icicle Christmas lights (_ack_, Christmas was four days away, what was she going to _do-?_), and illuminated the area with a soft, inviting glow. Two picnic tables had been pushed together, and covered with the quintessential tablecloths, checked red and white. The air smelled like happiness.

She tugged the edge of one of the picturesque red-and-white checkered tablecloths an inch to the right.

There, perfect.

Karin sighed, contented.

(So she was a little bit OCD, okay?)

"Hinata's with Sakura. From what Sak said, Hinata's hiding from her family in Sak's bedroom like a fugitive," Karin said to the two boys, grinning.

* * *

Naruto blinked and looked up.

"Oh?" He unraveled the cord extension (gotta love Central Park and the plug-holes on the bottom of the lamp posts). "Has she been there all day?"

"Yup," Karin said, making a popping sound at the 'p'.

Naruto hummed, squatting down and plugging the extension in. "Okay, 'Getsu," he said, "turn 'em on."

Suigetsu grumbled and turned on the little lantern-shaped lights. He shielded his eyes, for effect, as he stared as the lights and the little Christmas lights _and _the city lamps illuminated the place. He had to admit, it looked rather nice. "S'that it? 'Coulda sworn there was gonna be balloons."

"What," Naruto snorted, "you think we're seven, again?"

"Not me, but you on the other hand..."

Naruto glared, "You wanna die?"

Suigetsu flashed him a cheeky grin and Naruto wanted to stuff his face in the dirt, Sasuke-style. In the end, he ignored him and turned his attention towards Karin. "What else do we need?"

* * *

"Ermmm..." Karin said, chewing on her bottom lip. "You have the other cake, right?"

"...No..."

"...What do you _mean_, you don't have the cake?"

"Ino said she was going to bake it! And she never picked up when I called!"

"Oh my god. Oh my _god_, you actually believed Ino?"

"_What's_ wrong with believing me, Wifey dearest?"

Oh, Ino.

Karin grinned. "Since when am I your wife? Because I totally don't remember the wedding. Was I dunk?"

"Karin, you wound me. Is it because Suigetsu's here? Because—" Ino paused, and turned towards Suigetsu "—she acts completely different in school."

Suigetsu looked rather like someone had clocked him over the head.

"Honey, you're still first in my heart. I just like his penis," Karin said, and tossed her hair.

No, seriously.

"Thought so." Ino put her hands on her hips and looked around. "I like it! Its so pretty—_Kiba_, will you hurry with that cake?"

Kiba had the cake balanced precariously on top of a present. "Could someone grab this before I _drop_ it?"

"Oh!" Ino said, blue eyes flashing. "If that cake drops, I _swear_, Kiba Inuzuka!"

"I got it, I got it," Suigetsu lazily made his way towards his best friend.

Kiba breathed a long sigh of relief after Suigetsu had grabbed the cake from him. He seriously did not want Ino to rip his throat out - that would be painful. He put the present down (Ino had wrapped it - it was sparkly and gold and blue and pink and Kiba was a little bit afraid of it), and looked around the park.

"Damn," he said. "Good job."

* * *

Suigetsu placed the cake on the table and puffed out his chest. "I did it."

"Wah? No you didn't!" Naruto said, pointing a finger and looking offended.

"Ex-cuse me?" Karin raised an eyebrow. "You did what I told you to do. And Naruto helped."

Suigetsu waved a hand at her carelessly, "Ah, shut up. Your OCD-ness made me leave coz everythin' I was doing was wrong."

Karin flipped some of her hair over her shoulder. "I can't help it, if it's not perfect, I go a little crazy!"

He rolled his eyes and ignored her, shaking his head in a manner that said 'ah, this chick is fucking crazy by default'. He took a seat on one of the benches and run a hand through his hair. "So, like, when is she comin'? I'm hungry."

"Dude," Naruto said, shaking his head, "is that all you think about?"

Karin glared at him, "It should be soon."

"YOU GUYS ARE _STARVING _HIM," Ino squealed, "Poor Sui!"

Suigetsu nodded his head, slowly and sadly, a sorrowful expression on his face. "I know. They're so mean, Ino-chan. So mean."

"...I just — no. No words." Karin shook her head and glowered.

"I'M HERE." Tenten practically ran towards them, a bouquet of eighteen balloons in her hands. "I feel like Mary whatsherface but I'm _here_. I'm not late am I?"

* * *

Karin lifted her head up, and grinned brightly. "Nope, you're fine! I'm just gonna call Sak, in, like, five minutes, or something, and then—" she paused, suddenly suspicious. "—Where's your... husband, Tenten?"

"...Neji...?" Tenten blinked and looked behind her. "... He was right behind..."

She grew quiet and pouted, handing her balloons to the nearest person. "One second, people," she stomped away in the direction she just came from. "NEJI, WHERE ARE YOU?"

Three minutes later, Tenten came back, dragging an obviously reluctant Neji behind her. "I went to retrive the gift I accidentally abandoned in the trunk, Tenten," he said, as he proferred the forgotten present.

"...Are you _sure_?" Tenten asked, playful.

Neji snorted, and rolled his eyes.

Of course, his obvious reluctance had nothing to do with the fact that Hinata never wanted to see any of the Hyuuga family on her birthday (she often spent the day holed up at one of her friends houses; she always had).

_Really_.

"Mmkay," Karin said, completely ignoring the playful banter between the (shudder)—newlyweds. "So is everyone here, then? Can I call Sak, now? Or, wait, where's whatshisname, Sauce?"

* * *

Suigetsu snorted to cover up his obvious approval (and laughter) of Karin's... Ah, whatever, he was just laughing. God, he was so hungry, he couldn't even _think _properly. Ohhhh, his poor stomach was going to start to eat itself.

He groaned and rubbed his flat stomach, eyes closed. "He's probably with _them_, smart one. Can't you just _call _so they can come and I can _eat_?"

Karin's eyes flashed. "That depends what you want to eat—hold on, I'll go dial."

"You," he spared her a cheeky smirk.

"I'm di~aling, no dirty jokes!"

Suigetsu rolled his eyes and scoffed. God he was _hungry_.

* * *

Seriously. Nojustno.

Karin hit her speed-dial, and listened to the ring.

"_Hello_?"

"Hurry up and get your skinny-bitch ass over here, already. Suigetsu's whining, and it's annoying," Karin told the phone loudly.

Sakura was smiling on the other end, Karin could tell. "_How shall I transport the package?_"

"Blindfold her, duh," Karin said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"_Alright. Five minutes._"

"See you then, dearest."

The phone line went dead, and Karin looked up at everyone else, and grinned. "Five minutes, people. Five minutes."

* * *

.

* * *

Sasuke had received Sakura's call about a minute and a half ago.

He hadn't been ready... Not entirely, at least. He had achieved on getting his boxers on, but then he got distracted - HE WAS ALMOST DONE BEATING THIS GAME, OKAY? Seriously, it wasn't his fault! He had been clear headed the whole time, really, but then the... the... PS3 just started calling him and such things and he was declining and then it _won_.

So all Sasuke had done was put on his boxers and then gotten sucked into the game.

Again.

And then next thing he knew, Sakura had called him telling him it was time. At first he hadn't understood because his eyes were still on the screen but then it hit him, like a slap and he had sputtered for words and then just said a quick "okay" and hung up.

Which is why he was now looking for his clothes and putting them on correctly and tying his converses up and running a hand through his hair and looking for a hoodie and searching for his keys and making sure he looked _decent_... All _at the same time._

By the time he was positive everything was good and he had everything, he was already practically flying down the stairs. It wasn't until he passed the foyer that he froze at his father's drawl.

"The present."

Sasuke cursed under his breath and dashed back upstairs and gotten the vile thing. Sakura had picked it out and he had paid for it - much like they did for _everything_. It's just that _he _had to keep it in his house because Hinata was hiding in _hers_.

Sasuke threw himself into the driver's seat just as soon as he deposited of the thing in the trunk. Seconds later, the tires were screeching and burning the concrete as he drove towards Sakura's house.

He needed alcohol. Seriously.

* * *

Sakura smiled at Hinata, her hands tucked behind her back. The Hyuuga girl was curled up on Sakura's couch, looking miserable. "I _hate_ my birthday, I hate it, I _hate_ it, _why_ does it have to happen..."

"It only happens once a year, Hinata," Sakura said. "I know you don't like it very much, but it's really not so bad, you know?"

Hinata just grumbled, and buried her face in the arm of Sakura's couch.

Well, that was _just perfect_.

Sakura smiled again, this time to herself, and silently approached the Birthday Girl.

"I'm really, really sorry about this, Hinata, but I have to!" Sakura told her, and pounced.

There was a scuffle, some random screamed obscenities, but eventually, Sakura managed to stuff a (clean) sock in Hinata's mouth, and get the strip of black fabric that she'd planned to use as a blindfold around Hinata's eyes. She tied her friend's wrists, too, to prevent her from trying to escape.

(In Sakura's head, Karin grinned, and said "_Kinky_."

Sakura mentally spluttered.)

"I'm sorry, Hinata! It's for your own good, I swear! _Please_ just trust me!"

And that was how Haruno Sakura kidnapped Hyuuga Hinata.

* * *

Approximately eight and a half minutes later, Sasuke was parked in front of Sakura's house. He gave two honks and waited for the front door to be opened; it was, a few seconds later. Sasuke stared as Sakura hauled a gagged, tied and blind-folded Hinata towards him. He blinked and got out of the car; by the way things were going, it'd take them _forever _to get to him.

He walked towards her and smirked at her in greeting before he picked Hinata up, bridal style and walked towards the car, and completely ignored the little Fairy Girl's muffled screeches. Sakura scurried ahead of him and opened the passenger seat, doubling the seat over for him. Sasuke leaned into the car and placed Hinata in the seat before he straightened up and looked down at Sakura.

"Didn't know you were kinky," he said, smirking in amusement.

Sakura pouted as she fixed the seat and threw herself inside."I swear to _God_ it's Karin's fault."

Chuckling, Sasuke walked over to the driver's side and slid inside. "Right."

"It is! She's the one who ends up with rope-burns, not me!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, still smirking. "Careful, Sakura. You're sounding a bit envious, there."

* * *

"Envious? How could _anyone_ be _envious_ of _rope-burns_? They're the things you get when someone _ties you up_!" Sakura squeaked.

Sasuke opened his mouth to reply, but Hinata, in the back, apparently took offence to this comment. She made as much of a muffled racket as she damn well could—they would _not_ ignore her, _no_ they would not! Sakura looked over her shoulder, and said "Oh, Hinata, calm down. It'll only be for a few minutes! We're going somewhere, and you'll like it, I promise!"

"FAMY-UHMMPH!" was the unintelligible sound that came from the back.

Sakura shrugged, and looked at Sasuke. "You were saying?"

He was smirking, amused. "...I think your friend said it all."

"_That's_ not very nice," Sakura pouted.

"Sakura, _everything_ I say or do to you, you categorized as _mean,_" Sasuke said, deadpan.

"Not when you're nice!" Sakura insisted.

"And when is _that_?" Sasuke asked.

A smirk that was very reminiscent of Sasuke himself stretched across Sakura's features. "When do you _think_?"

"Yeah? _Well_. We should stay like _that_ so I can _always_ be nice to you," he said, and his smirk mirrored hers.

Maybe they _were_ spending too much time together.

Hinata, in the back, started to whimper. She _really_ had no desire to hear this (or at least, that's what Sakura figured—why _else_ would Hinata be sounding so terrified? _Really_, now), and, either way, they'd reached the park. "Maybe later, Sasuke, because look, we're here, and we can't let our captive miss her own execution, can we?"

"...Nice one, Sakura. Really nice."

Sakura ignored another one of Hinata's terrified whimpers, and leaned over and kissed Sasuke on the tip of the nose. "Are you going to carry her from here to there, or do I have to be all lame and struggle to even try before you just do the work for me?"

"Sakura, just... Awqdjefr—get the gift, I'll carry her."

Sakura smiled wide, and sing-songed "I looooove youuuuuu~!"

* * *

Sasuke sighed, rolling his eyes as he helped Hinata out of the car. He closed and locked both doors before he picked her up from the ground and began to trail Sakura.

Seriously, how was it possible that out of all the girls in the world, he chose someone weird like Sakura Haruno? He snorted and rolled his eyes, again. Whatever; she was... pretty. And stuff. A lot of stuff. Yeah.

Blinking at that, he decided he _really _needed alcohol.

Sasuke looked down at the girl he was carrying and grinned at the gagging and the blind-fold and the bondage. Naruto was going to throw a fit. _Especially _since he's carrying her. Oh, how he loved bringing pain and grief and just about anything negative to the idiot.

Once they got to where everyone was at, Sasuke took a brief glance at everything - the lighting, the tables, the food, the _alcohol_. And then he spared everyone else a glance before he gently set Hinata down on the ground, helping her steady herself so she wouldn't fall.

Then, he took a couple of steps back and let Sakura or any of the other girls handle everything else.

* * *

Hinata, blindfolded and gagged, _was not happy_.

_AT ALL_.

What was this—even though she _hated_ it, it _was_ still her birthday! _Why_ wasn't she just allowed to mourn the loss of her youth in peace? _Why_ did her friends do this to her—_why_ wouldn't they just _leave her alone_? This kidnapping treatment was cruel and awful and she was _never going to spend time with these people **ever again**_.

She was going to _kill them all_.

Both feet planted on the ground, tied hands in front of her, Hinata _wailed_.

* * *

Just as soon as the wailing began, Sasuke started to panic.

Like, legit, he was _panicking. _His black eyes widened, brow furrowed, frown going on overdrive and pale skin turning just a _tiny _bit paler. "She's crying," he said, looking at the others for a second before looking right back at the wailing little Fairy Girl. "_Why _is she crying—I didn't do anything, I swear."

Karin, with a hand on her jutted out hip, flipped some of her hair with the other one. "Girl's got pipes."

And not too far from her, Suigetsu sat on a table, his elbows propped up on his knees. His brow furrowed as ice-purple eyes stared at Neji's tiny little cousin. "...What...?"

"WHAT," Ino stomped a boot-clad foot to the ground and huffed. "THIS IS NOT CUTE. HINATA _QUIT IT_."

And Tenten began to twitch at the sound of the wailing. Smacking her forehead she muttered to herself about Hinata over exaggerating about _everything_.

Sakura, not too far from Sasuke or Hinata shrugged, "How _else _was I supposed to get her out of the house, pray tell?"

Sasuke twitched and stared at little ol' Fairy Girl; _why _was she _crying _and _why _was she so _good _at it? He switched his stare to Naruto and hissed, "Dobe, get her to _stop_."

Naruto blinked and shook his head to get rid of his stupor and began to mutter to himself before, "Uh, right, right. Uh, Hinata-chan? A-ah, please calm down...?"

* * *

Okay, seriously, this wasn't funny anymore.

Hinata wailed louder.

(Yes, it was slightly muffled by the sock that was _still stuffed in her mouth._)

Neji was frothing at the mouth - or, at least, Hinata thought he was, because she could _hear_ him twitching. "You - would someone _untie_ my cousin? That _may_ explain her screaming!"

Hinata silently forgave Neji for every awful thing he had ever, ever done, because right then, the gag was pulled away, and someone was in front of her, untying her hands. "Okay," he said to her, "just... Uh..."

And then whoever it was moved away very, very quickly.

Hinata had a feeling that he or she was very, very frightened.

That was okay.

She was very, very not happy.

She stood there for a minute, absolutely _seething_ with rage. "I'm going home," she said. "I'm going home, before I _kill you all_."

Naruto panicked, "No! Hinata-chan, wait! Wait, wait, wait, _wait_!" He dashed towards her, grabbing her by the shoulders to hold her still befoe she ran off. "Look, you'll love it, I promise, okay?" And then he undid the blindfold.

Hinata actually glared up at him. "I'll love _what_?"

* * *

Naruto tried his best to not flinch; because, god, Hinata-chan was scary when she was angry. And this time it was actually aimed at him.

He gulped.

And gulped.

And gulped some more.

"Happy birthday, Hinata-chan." And he planted his lips firmly against hers.

* * *

Hinata melted into a puddle of goo.

(That was the standard procedure, when Naruto kissed her.)

"Th-thank you," she mumbled, and buried her face in his chest.

It was the first time she'd said that, all day.

She took a couple of deep breaths, and then pulled away. She blinked up at him, and said "Okay, erm, so, what's... going on... exactly?"

* * *

Naruto's grin was big and bright and just _happy _as he looked down at her.

He pulled away, moved out of the way so she could see everyone and everything and said, "Well, we're having a picnic! Just for _you_!"

Hinata blinked, astonished. "A picnic...? _Why_?"

Naruto blinked right back at her and blanched out. Well. _Someone _was a birthday Grinch. And for her own birthday, too - ah, the irony. Naruto composed himself and allowed a smile (that he really hoped was not strained ) to dominate his features again. "Because it's your birthday and we love you!"

He watched her with tentative eyes as she bit her lower lip, the corners twitching upwards as she attempted to hide the smile. His grin widened and grew genuine and he laughed.

"So!" He clapped his hands and grinned, "Let's get this started, yeah?"

* * *

Sakura let out an almost-silent sigh of relief.

Hinata blowing up could have ruined everything.

(Not that Sakura blamed her. Er. There _were_ probably better ways to get someone somewhere, rather then tying that person up, blindfolding them, and then gagging them - but, oh well, lesson learned.)

But she didn't, and things would be okay, now.

Sakura linked her hand through Sasuke's, and tugged him towards the picnic table.

"C'mon!" she called over her shoulder. It echoed around the park's clearing, and sounded like happiness.

* * *

Tenten's plate was full with food.

And she was fucking _happy_. Like, she was the happiest person in the world right now. She was _so happy._ And there was a _bright _smile on her lips and she was just so happy! Food! Oh, how she loved her food. She rubbed her stomach and moaned in delight before digging in.

Because, seriously. This was the life.

"So," she heard someone say. She looked up and was kind of startled to see it was directed towards her. "You're Neji's... _wife_."

Tenten snorted and closed her eyes, a smirk on her lips. "You make me sound _old_. But yeah. I am... Are you going to eat that?"

Suigetsu blinked and pulled the plate closer to himself, "Yes, I am."

"Dammit." Tenten perked up and stared at him; _really _stared at him. "Oh... I know you. You're Karin's boy toy! You eat like a fatass!"

"Thanks," Suigetsu said, not at all perturbed.

"I bet I can eat more than you can."

And then he blanched and stared at her for a long, long moment. "You're challengin' me?"

"No, I'm challenging the bushes."

"Oh, okay," Suigetsu said, shaking his head slowly, never looking away from her. "It's on."

"_Bring it_."

* * *

This... what _was_ this?

Karin's eye twitched.

"Suigetsu, Tenten, _get some manners_, because this is _not the time_," Karin hissed.

Seriously, she was just... _no_.

Just_ no_.

This was supposed to be _Hinata's_ day (er. Regardless of the fact that Hinata kind of _despises_ this day with every fiber of her being), and, an eating contest, _really_? This was _really not the time_! Karin glared down her nose at the both of them, and plopped herself down between them.

"Let's play nice, shall we?" Karin said, sweet smile plastered on her lips.

(In the background, Hinata was giggling, and that was good enough for Karin.)

* * *

Tenten and Suigetsu stared at Karin with the same exact blank, annoyed stare.

"Hey, Karin, my love," Tenten drawled. "How about you take your OCD-ness over there and leave us alone? Yeah? Okay? Thanks, you're a doll."

Suigetsu smirked and chuckled. This girl... _This _was the girl that Neji _married_... The girl Neji _banged_? Dude, Hyuuga had _balls. _Hell, he liked this chick. She was badass incarnated, seriously. He leaned back at about the same time as Tenten did, their eyes clashing and they shared an identical grin.

"Ready," he said as they both ignored the twitching girl sitting in between them.

Tenten snickered, "When you are, lady."

Suigetsu's eyebrow twitched but he grinned right back at her. "Alright!"

And they both began to eat to their heart's content, the bet still on their minds. And Karin?

Ah, screw her.

* * *

Neji, sitting on Tenten's other side, simply sighed and was tempted to bang his head against the red-and-white-covered picnic table.

It was December 21st; the shortest day of the year, Midwinter.

It was chilly out. But there was something - something about being surrounded by other human beings on this coldest, shortest day of the year that made Neji want to grin. Instead, he slipped an arm around Tenten's shoulders, rested his chin on top of her head, and watched the rest of the group interact.

His little cousin was giggling helplessly.

Neji almost felt himself grin.

* * *

It was a tie.

It was a _tie_.

Tenten... had never met anyone that could eat as much as she could. This was possible the best and worst day ever. It was decided. She and Suigetsu were going to build the most awesomest friendship ever. They were going to eat the world and then rule what was left of it. Totally.

She leaned against Neji, her hands on her stomach, rubbing. And pouting she said, "It was a _tie._"

"That's nice," he said and he sounded like he wasn't even paying attention to her.

Strangely, Tenten's blood only boiled a bit. Like, a preheat or something like that. Her eyes snapped open and she glared at the trees in front of her, her nose wrinkling and her lips contorting into a frown. She took a deep breath to calm herself - because it was Hinata's birthday and she was _not _going to ruin it. So, instead, Tenten decided to do the same thing she always did when Neji was being a dick-face in her book:

Ignore him.

* * *

Neji chuckled, and pressed his lips against her hair.

Ridiculous girl.

* * *

The lull in conversation that the food had created ended, as everyone sat back, full and happy (mostly). Karin, from where she was sitting, could see Hinata. She was leaning against Naruto, and smiling, a flush across her cheeks, giggling with Sakura.

_Obviously_, this was working out.

And that was why Karin decided that it was _obviously_ the time to bring the cake out.

It was going to be so nice; cake and singing and _oh gosh_, Karin was _so happy_ that Hinata wasn't crying or trying to throttle someone, because that would have _really_ put a damper on the evening, and- yeah.

She tugged on Ino's sleeve, and whispered into her old friend's ear. "Cake time! Come light the candles with me?"

"Oh, baby, I am _so_ there," Ino whispered back.

"Omi_god_, I love you, _where_ have you been all of my life?"

"In your closet, ready for some sexy actions, duh."

Karin giggled, and the two girls slipped away from the table together, and went to light the candles.

* * *

Ino flailed right behind Karin, her eyes dead set on the red velvet cake that she and Kiba baked (ugh, she hoped it tasted good. Kiba. God, Kiba). Going for the white icing was an _excellent_ idea. She should be, like, a cook or something awesome like that.

But either way, she helped Karin take the top off and slowly began to decorate the top of the cake with eighteen candles. Once that task was done the two girls looked at each other, each holding a hand out to the other.

"What," Ino said, "_I _didn't bring a lighter. Does it _look _like I'd have one of those...Now?"

Karin sighed, annoyed. She rolled her crimson eyes and shifted her weight from one leg to the other. "Go ask your boyfriend? I'll go ask mine."

Ino bounced away towards Kiba.

He was playing with a deck of cards, a cocky smirk on his lips as he did tricks upon more tricks with them. Sitting across from him, Sasuke was staring at the cards with minor boredom and half annoyance. Ino grinned, her eyes flickering from Kiba to Sasuke to the deck of cards and to the alcohol in front of Sasuke (he was probably taking this one slow; oh, Sakura. Such a fun sucker).

"Hello there, boys," she said, coming to a stop in front of them, hands on her hips.

"Hey, kiddo." He looked up at her, his smirk still in place before he went back to the cards.

Sasuke gave her a short nod of hello (heyyy, he was _pretty_).

"Any of you have a lighter?"

"No," Sasuke said, his hands checking his pockets and shaking his head.

Kiba blinked, "Sure, why?"

Ino rolled her eyes and smiled, "Because I'm gonna go hotbox the park's bathroom - for the _cake, _Kiba."

"Oh. Huh. Here ya go," he said. He set the pack of cards down, and pulled a silver lighter out. He tossed it to her. "Don' break it. If ya do, I'll have to kill you."

"As if you could pull _that_ off." Ino let out a soft set of giggles before she turned around and went back towards the table with the cake.

* * *

Kiba just smirked.

"You're so fucking whipped," was all that Sasuke said. Neji nodded gravely.

Kiba smirked again, and just shrugged.

He was getting laid. And if meant he was whipped, then what the hell?

(But he didn't say that.)

* * *

Karin's eyes lit up.

Okay. So.

They had two cakes.

Carrot cake (because it was Hinata's favourite, obviously), and Ino's red velvet cake. They were both iced, white buttercreame, and both had nine candles shooting out of them, eighteen total. Karin grinned at Ino, and gestured to the cake.

"Do you want to, or shall I?"

"We can do it _together_," Ino said slyly, a little smile on her lips.

Karin looked at her with a grin across her face. "You are clearly my soul mate. Just saying."

"I thought you knew this already."

"I so did," Karin replied with a flip of her hair. "Just reiterating."

"Good, my heart was being a sad metronome at the thought."

"Of course, sweetie," Karin smiled.

And then they lit the candles, and the singing began.

* * *

Suigetsu didn't like singing.

He didn't even sing to his favorite song.

And therefore (as bad as he felt for little Tinkerbell), he didn't sing for the happy birthday song.

(Neither did Sasuke, but that was different, he guessed.)

* * *

Hinata was _glowing_.

The only light came from the candles, and the familiar anthem (_Happy birthday to youuuuu~_) rose around them. It was slightly off-key, and a little off-beat, but something about it was... _nice_. Really, really nice.

Karin smiled to herself, and stood next to Suigetsu.

Only he... wasn't singing.

At all.

...

Could he _be_ anymore selfish.

She knew he didn't particularly _like_ singing (okay, so she knew he actually kind of hated it), but, _still_. Couldn't he suspend that dislike for even _five_ minutes? Even just to _whisper_ the words, that would have been fine.

But he didn't.

He just looked... grumpy.

Ugh, she needed to fix this. Badly.

But how?

The song ended (-_day to ~_). Ino cut Karin a piece of red velvet cake. It was pretty. It would probably taste good. Karin stared down at, and then blinked over at her boyfriend. He was not-so-patiently waiting for his cake.

Well.

He wasn't going to have his cake and eat it too.

Karin hated getting her hands dirty.

But this was an exception.

"Cheer up!" she sang at him.

And then she grabbed a handful of cake, and smushed it in his face.

* * *

You know how things like these tend to go so slow and yet so fast, that it takes time to actually sink into your head? How you just stand/lay/sit there, blinking and wondering just what the hell happened and are you okay?

Yeah, well Suigetsu stood there and blinked and found it hard to move his face because it was heavy with something and _what _the fuck is this bitch's problem? Suigetsu growled and scooped some of the cake off of his face and stared down at it and with fast reflexes, he grabbed Karin by the forearm before she could leave and smacked the cake in her forehead and moved it all over her face until it was all coated.

"'The fuck is your problem," he hissed.

She giggled. "It's a birthday, stupid. You need to smile!"

She grabbed more cake, smushed it in his hair, and grinned at him.

"Karin, what the fuck, stop bein' an annoyin' bitch." He grabbed her, and with the strength he clearly beat her in, shoved her entire head in the cake resting on the table.

And he clearly hated how she started laughing. Ugh, she was the bane of his existence, god!

* * *

Tenten blinked and tilted her head before she grinned a wide grin that could be a twin to Naruto's.

She looked down at her cake and sighed, saddened that she wasn't going to eat it.

She grabbed some of it in her hand and turned to Neji - who was busy staring at Karin and Suigetsu with a look of horror.

"Hey, Neji," she said, innocently, "You're such a prick, lighten up."

And then she just slapped the cake right dead center of his face.

And laughed.

* * *

That was the beginning of the end.

Any modicum of respectability the party had had disintegrated.

Sakura found herself in the midst of a cake war.

Dear lord.

She ducked down under the table, and found herself blinking at Sasuke. "Oh, hi Sasuke. So this is what it's gonna be like, huh? We're all together, and it descends into anarchy and cake-fights. Typical. Why can we just be _normal_?"

Sasuke blinked and tilted his head a bit. "Hey, Sakura...?"

"Yeah?"

"You know how... you're always saying I'm mean?"

"...Yeah..."

"Here's a _real_ reason for you to say it." Sasuke lifted a hand up and grabbed some cake from the table they were ducked under, and smeared it all over Sakura's face. And smirking and chuckling, he quickly got up and tried to escape not only the still shocked Sakura, but _everything_ else that was going around in the air.

Sakura's jaw dropped.

"Get _back_ here, you!" she shrieked, and chased after him.

* * *

Sasuke's smirk was quickly - and unknowingly - contorting to a grin as he dashed out of their little picnic-place that was now a war zone. He took into the trees and he could _hear _Sakura's footsteps right behind him.

Right, she was a fast runner.

But then again, he was Sasuke and he had made it a goal to outrun Kiba when they were in football practice. And Kiba was _fast. _So Sasuke picked up his speed and made sure to listen if Sakura was behind him. Which she was... Just not as close as before.

Sasuke hid behind a tree, his breathing still leveled and calm as he waited for her to pass by. They were near the creek that ran down the park. The sound of water trickling down was almost soothing. And then he heard her. Sasuke got ready and at the right moment, he shot an arm out and grabbed her, pulling her close until she was pressed against his chest.

"Yes," he asked in a low drawl.

She grinned up at him. "You are _awful_, did you know that?"

"I'm pretty sure I've been told by a lot of people." He looked down at her, his smirk-grin still on his lips.

"So it's a huge question, as to why I put up with your awful-ness. I shouldn't like it as much as I do."

His smirk widened, "You like it, do you?"

"I wouldn't be dating you, if I didn't," she said almost matter-of factly.

Sasuke leaned forwards until their noses touched and chuckled. "If I didn't hate sweets, I'd lick it off your face," he murmured. "I think I'll make an exception tonight, though."

(The Kiba and 'Getsu in his head were chanting "Whipped!" and doing a tribal dance while Neji and Naruto nodded their heads vigorously in the background.)

He poked his tongue out and began to lick the cake right off of her face.

* * *

Sakura flinched away from him, giggling.

"Ewwwwwwww, slobber," she teased.

"Ew, I taste Sakura," he replied.

"At least I taste pretty."

"...Nothing tastes _pretty_, Sakura."

"Pffft, you have clearly never tasted edible glitter, before."

"You're clearly a strange little thing."

"And you clearly love me for it."

"Perhaps."

"You doooooo, admit ittttt."

"I'll admit no such thing."

"You won't? Well, it goes against my morals to date people who don't love me back..."

Sasuke chuckled and licked his lips for any stray cake before he buried his face in the crook of her neck. "You know I do, tho'."

"Yeah," she smiled. "I know."

He mumbled something against her throat, his lips pressed against the juncture of her shoulder and neck. Sakura continued to smile. Wisps of laughter drifted towards them from the direction of the park clearing. It was happy-making; it sounded like all the good things in the world, laughter did. All the good things, all the happy things. It was a beautiful sound, really.

It sounded like beginnings. Beginnings of friendship happiness and days where the sun never seemed to set. Beginnings of things like trust and linked fingertips, and sitting quietly together on the back porch. Beginnings of things like that.

"Yeah," Sakura whispered again, pressed close to Sasuke's chest. "I know."

Beginnings were good.

Sakura smiled and breathed.

This wasn't an ending.

It was a beginning.

* * *

There was a feeling, in his chest.

It made him think about something akin to happiness. He was glad, he figured; glad his stupid friends got their girls, glad that they were happy because, legit, they were his friends regardless of anything.

But it wasn't only that, he was glad for himself.

Glad he grew the balls to fight for someone like Sakura, even if, in the end, he was fighting himself. Because that was what it was, after the whole thing, right? Getting himself to look for her - tell her everything; about how he felt?

And where was he now?

Holding her against him, feeling something like a beginning.

And beginnings were good; because you're getting started. There were no fuck ups; there was nothing but a clear road.

And this... Sakura. Him. Their friends.

It was a beginning.

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**so that's it, ladies and gents. the curtain is closing. this is the last chapter; yes, there is an epilogue to come. we love you all. please review, & goodnight. :)**


	45. how to be sincere but never yours

JUST DANCE IT'LL BE OKAY~  
**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to everyone who has supported us on this journey. you are amazing & incredible & WE LOVE YOU.

**les is hiding under the table**: wow... just... wow. legit, i'd like to thank - truly thank - the people that have stuck with us, and have not _whined _or _bitched _about how we decided to write this story, but rather, enjoyed every single word we typed and clung onto this universe as hard as we did. thank you, really. :)  
**Sara kisses strangers**: a year. A YEAR. holyabercrombiemodel, we are _done_. thank you for being our love & support. :)  
**sonya** **still has her innocence**: uh, in a completely mind-set kind of way. though it can refer to other things if you so wish. but. god. it's been a crazy year, hasn't it? boy troubles (uh, still a dating+kissing virgin, cha!), going to COLLEGE, dealing with friend issues- we've all discovered what _really_ matters, haven't we? cordiallysincerely_yes_. always smile, my loves.

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

Anko raised an eyebrow.

Seriously.

What. The. Hell.

Did these children legitimately think she _cared_ about their petty little spats? Okay, she loved the social drama ("-and this is your _definition of the situation_"), because it left the class in a mess that just gave Anko fodder to throw them into even _more_ terrible situations.

But really.

She was _not_ interested in all their boring little _essays_.

She just wanted the emails, damn it!

(But, so far, no one had turned it in. Ugh. Had they all gotten too personal? Or had they just not _emailed_, like she'd _told_ them?

_Bo-ring_.

Seriously. _So_ boring.

**_-due to the interaction between the two variables, men and women_**-

Anko grumbled. Forty words into the seventh essay (and worse, it was Uchiha Sasuke's. Anko was _so_ not impressed), and she was way too bored to do this.

...

There was a set of die, in her desk.

...

That was very, very tempting.

_Very_ tempting.

Anko pulled the die out.

Looked at Uchiha's essay sitting in front of her.

...

She _totally_ didn't have the patience for this.

"Hey, Tenten, do you want to come help me mark essays?"

* * *

Tenten was lounging on the couch, hand fingering the ring dangling off of her necklace, bored hazel eyes on the TV screen. Anko was at her desk, muttering dark, scary things to the stack of papers. God, how she loved that woman.

"Hey, Tenten, do you want to come help me mark essays?"

At this, Tenten perked up.

Oh god, it was as if someone answered her prayers! She was so _bored_! Like, legit, so bored that she was, you know, _bored_.

She couldn't hang out with the girls because... Well, actually, she didn't even know why. And Neji was being a nerd doing his essays and such things like that and Suigetsu and she weren't allowed to go out on their own because, in the words of Sakura, it's _chaos _and more of an _apocalypse _than she and Hanabi combined.

It's not her fault she had an amazing way of befriending people like her (read: psychopaths)!

"Oh!" She jumped off of the couch and scurried right on over to Anko's side. "Yes! What do we do?"

* * *

"You roll the die, I write down the corresponding mark," Anko said, a half-smile lifting her lips.

Tenten smirked evilly, "I am so down with this."

"Oh, darling, I know you are. Roll."

"Rollingggg," Tenten sang.

Anko grinned wickedly, and watched the die settle.

Four little black spots smiled up at them.

"I figured four would be a C... So Uchiha passes. Huh."

The two women looked at each other for a moment, shrugged. "Well, he's alright. I kinda like him - he drinks like a fish." Tenten nodded sagely.

"So, next... Uzumaki. Can I fail him? _Please_? He's _annoying_, Tenten," Anko pouted. "This whole thing was his fault - _his fault_. And the Weasel's. But then, almost everything is my ex-boyfriend's fault in some way or another... Should we give him a fair chance?"

"I like Naruto. He makes me feel smart. Give him a C."

Anko looked bored. "If you're giving him a fair grade, you're rolling that die."

Tenten pouted, but rolled.

"Six. _Six_. I don't _want_ to give him an A, the little shit." Anko heaved a sigh. "Bah. How is he so bloody lucky...?"

Anko and Tenten stared at each other again, and then shrugged again.

Whatever.

Ten minutes later, the little red marks (and the ever-so-helpful die) had the pile of papers dwindling significantly. Anko was very pleased.

"Thank god that's over with," she mumbled, and slumped against the desk.

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick; iUchiha  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _The real business..._

Okay, Anko-sensei and Weasel-Vonstrangle, give it up. Quarter's over and so's the project.

AND IT WORKED, OMFG, I'M A GENIUS.

-Naruto

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; iUchiha  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD YET_.

...You. Genius.

Just.

No.

-Anko-sama

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick; iUchiha  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _HOW RUDE OF SOME PEOPLE._

Come off it, Anko-sensei.

Personally, I think_ I_ did an amazing job getting Sasuke-teme a girl. Coz, let's face it, you, Anko-sensei only gave the project and Itachi-Weasel-Vonstrangle got caught up with his own incestuous problems.

So, THEREFORE, I am the messiah that saved the world from combusting like that hideous 2012 movie. Because I did my work and I did it right and Sasuke-teme is whipped.

Naruto, you rock. Let's all admit it.

-Naruto

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; iUchiha  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Oh, ye of little faith. If you think **that** is rude, you ain't seen nothin' yet, Naru-chan_.

...  
So he's _not_ gay.  
Huh.

Messiah.

I just.

I don't even have _words_ for your kind of idiocy. How do you even _exist_?

-Anko-sama

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick; iUchiha  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Ah, phooey, you don't scare me anymore, Anko-sensei. I found someone more terrifying._

Nope! He's not!  
Poor Sasuke-teme, I guess he _was_ speaking the truth the whole time.

Yes, Messiah. Bow down to your new master, Anko-sensei. I pwn.

Ignoring the laaaast part. :)

-Naruto

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick; ramenkamisama1  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _... Are you trying to give her any ideas and/or goals? She knows where you sleep at night- or don't._

o1. Sasuke's idea of the truth is probably dystopian. He'd create something only to blow it up with all of the arsenal he uses in those video games of his.

o2. ... Uzumaki, the Messiah is the one who is supposed to _save_ the world- not destroy it.

o3. Also, if you know someone more terrifying than Anko, why would you let them walk the streets free? Do you _understand_ civic duty?

-Itachi

P.S. Anko, Shisui would like to know if you want to go out for coffee with her and chat. Just so you know, she will not give you any embarrassing details about me. And our relationship.

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick; iUchiha  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _SHE SO DOES NOT. STOP LYING YOU BUM DRAGON. GOD._

First of all, I am going to disgustedly agree with you. Because, legit, if Sasuke-teme were to have the arsenal he has in his video games, the world would be DOOMED. DOOMED, I SAY.

Now.

I never said I was going to destroy the world, Itachi Vonstrangle. I'M SAVING IT. Do you have any idea how many chicks would have died, had they found out your brother was gay? I mean, its already enough that the older Uchiha is "taken". So, yeah, I'm saving the world therefore I am the Messiah.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST. SHE WALKS THE STREETS BECAUSE SHE'S PRETTY AND I LOVE HER, GO DIE, GOD.

-Naruto

* * *

To: ramenkamisama; iUchiha  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Lying? Not lying, you're just delusional._

...Video games. Really. Have _either_ of you _ever_ been laid,_ in your lives_?

BAHAHAHAHAAA.

...Narutoooooooooooooo, my little daughter says that you're _afraid_ of your little girlfriend! ... Actually, according to my lovely little girl, apparently, even Sauce-face is afraid of her. WHY HAVE I NOT MET HER.

-Anko-sama

P.S. Itachi- tell Shisui that I would LOVE to have coffee with her, ASAP. And also that if she thinks I'm not getting details, she's insane. :)

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick; iUchiha  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _YOU BE QUIET YOU CRAZY WOMAN. _

Yes, video games. And I'll have you know, Ms I-Can't-Have-A-Decent-Convo-Without-Bringing-Sex-Up, I _have _gotten laid. And I'd say I don't know about Sasuke-teme, but I actually had the misfortune of walking in on him and his girlfriend. It was the most scarring shit in my life, right next to seeing Itachi Vonstrangle macking on his cousin-who-is-not-his-cousin.

...TENTEN DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT. But, I'm totally laughing my ass off at the thought of Sasuke-teme being afraid of Hinata-chan... YOU'RE NEVER MEETING HER, GTFO.

-Naruto

* * *

To: ramenkamisama; iUchiha  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _NEVERRRRR. THE DISENFRANCHISED SHALL NEVER REST_.

Naruto, given that you have probably never had a decent conversation in your life, I'm not sure what you're worried about.  
... Itachi, I _will_ be getting details. _I swear_.

YES, TENTEN DOES KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT. AND YES, I AM GOING TO MEET HER. I HAVE THIS IDEA THAT IT MIGHT BE KIND OF INCREDIBLE.

-Anko-sama

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick; ramenkamisama1  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _You sound like a megalomaniac again. Time to be a Messiah, Uzumaki._

o1. Unless, you know, your powers are only related to your Gaydar.

o2. Tch, you're delusional again_._ Like Shisui would tell you about... nothing.

o3. Three of the apparently most... terrifying, controlling women in the world. Are you _really_ so sure you're the Messiah? You are filled with so many _brilliant_ ideas, Uzumaki.

-Itachi

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick; iUchiha  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: AGH. ANKO'S A NUTCASE. SHE MUST BE TAKEN CARE OF, TAKEN CARE OF, I SAY.

Itachi Vonstrangle, I have no such thing as a Gaydar, you on the other hand...

AND DUDE, Hinata-chan, Tenten and Anko-sensei... together? Let's not get Hinata-chan's little sister into that mess, either... oh crap...

-Naruto

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick; ramenkamisama1  
From: iUchiha  
Subject: _For some reason, this all reminds me of those movies- or TV shows- or books- where the "hero" tries to save the world while being a complete dunce and screwing up at every turn._

o1. ... You do know what a Gaydar is, right? That it doesn't mean you're gay- you just have the ability to detect if other people are homosexuals_. _Just... nevermind.

o2. "Oh crap." That's all you can say? "Oh crap"? You might have singlehandedly instigated the the end of the world as we know it and all you have to say is, "Oh crap"? If you ever _are_ the Messiah- someone with a Jesus complex- hire someone to write your lines for you.

-Itachi

P.S. We completed what we set out for. Mission over. Drinks on me and Kotetsu's credit card?

* * *

To: crazyproctorchick; iUchiha  
From: ramenkamisama1  
Subject: _Something's giving me this vibe that you're calling me stupid..._

I KNOW WHAT A GAYDAR IS, GOD. I just don't have one. YOU on the other hand, have one and yet you don't know how to use it. SO THERE.

...You make it seem like a _bad _thing. You actually think Hiashi and Neji are going to let this psychotic woman near those girls? I THINK NOT. And, like, dude, I keep getting this vibe that you're calling me stupid... Why is that? You're not calling me stupid now, are you? because if you are, I am HIGHLY OFFENDED, ITACHI VONSTRANGLE. HIGHLY OFFENDED.

-Naruto

P.S. Yes, _I did_ complete what we set out. Mission over and complete. And I am so down for this, even if I have no idea who Kotetsu is. Anko-sensei, you down? (I bet you she is; free booze, man.)

* * *

To: ramenkamisama1; iUchiha  
From: crazyproctorchick  
Subject: _Quit the dramatics. They are inane, and **not winning you any points with me right now**_.

First of all, you both are insane. The only people who have gaydar are women, and gay men. Therefore, you _both_ ought to have it, as I do. If you don't, you're still in denial.

An, Naru-chin. You think Hyuuga and Hyuuga _won't_ let me near them? First of all, Tenten in my _adopted daughter_. She is my _precious, beloved **child**_. And Naru-chin, believe me, she's got a mean streak a mile wide. Don't make me set her on you, because that would be sad- actually, no, it would be funny. Never mind, all is well!

If you two morons don't stop emailing me, I am going to string you up by the innards of your balls. Thank _god_, this crap is over and done with. Of course I'm down for the booze, when am I _not_ down for the booze?

Dear Weasel-boy: be prepared to be drunk under the table.

-Anko-sama, over and out. ;)

* * *

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Extra thoughts from us:

**so this is it. we're done. thank you all, from the bottom of our hearts. we love you. PLEASE REVIEW - we know you're all out there, and we would honestly LOVE to hear from you. it really makes our days and our nights and whatnot. this has been a year-long journey. thank you for taking it with us.**

**OKAY SO. this might sound like a bribe.**

**BUT. ****technically, we're not through with this universe. we MAY be writing oneshots, chronically the oh-so-wonderful misadventures that these people will go through.**

**SO THE BRIBE:  
****if you want us to write the oneshots, leave us a review, & tell us so. if we get a hundred reviews for "yes", we totally, a hundred percent, will get to work on the oneshots. they'll be about anything (oh, think Neji & Tenten's shotgun wedding, maybe, or the first Christmas... among other things).**

**but they'll only happen if you all really show us that you want them.**

**anyway.**

**sincerely (but never yours),  
sara, sonya, & les  
:)**


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